D-Kef Interview
"Welcome to another great UWM Saturday Night. I'm Steven and this is Derek,"said Steven. Derek said,"Great to be here. You'll probably won't hear much from me until the BA Chilli Gunn verses Sexy Della match. It's an Evening Gown Match! One of them will be stripped down to their bra and panties. PUPPIES! This is the first Evening Gown Match EVER!" Steven said,"Let's go into the ring with James G. James?" James said,"Thank you, Steven." D-Kef's music started playing and Kef-Pac, RoadFoxx, and Triple X walked to the ring. Kef-Pac grabbed the mike out of James's hands and said,"I respect you, James but we just have to say something." Triple X grabbed the mike and said,"ReyMooseJr! Why did you help Kevin Michaels out? Are you that stu.." Moose Pack's music came on and Macho Moose, EdgE666, ReyMooseJr, and Big Moose walked out. Macho Moose said into his mike,"I think this will explain everything." Some music started playing. Steven said,"THAT'S HBK'S MUSIC!" Kevin Michaels walked out. Macho Moose said,"I'd like to present the NEWEST member of the Moose Pack, HEART BREAK KEVIN!" RoadFoxx and Kef-Pac were holding Triple X back. Steven said,"HBK is Moose Pack now!" Kevin grabbed the mike and said,"HELLLO LADIES! Triple X thinks he can be Hardcore. RoadFoxx thinks he can be Hardcore. Let's see who's really Hardcore. Tonight, I challenge Triple X and RoadFoxx to a Hardcore Tag Team Match against me and ReyMooseJr." Triple X said,"The Triple X and that F-O-Double X are gonna beat both your asses and if you're not down with that. We've got two words for ya! KRAM IT!"
Pane vs. Kef-Pac
Steven said,"Let's go to the first match." The lights went out and Pane's music played. The turnbuckles exploded with flames and Pane was in the center of the ring. Derek said,"Get out from under the table, Steven." Steven said,"I'm not under the table." Kef-Pac's music played and Kef-Pac came out. Kef-Pac ran into the ring and did a SpinKick to Pane. The ref rang the bell. Kef-Pac did another SpinKick but still couldn't knock Pane down. Kef-Pac did one more SpinKick but Pane caught his leg and put his hand around Kef-Pac's neck. He lifted him up and chokeslammed him. Derek said,"Kef-Pac is so wimpy. I could take Pane." Pane picked Kef-Pac up and did the Super Powerbomb on him. Pane grabbed the ref and tombstoned him. Pane went outside the ring and grabbed a can of gasoline and a matchbook. He covered Kef-Pac in gasoline. Steven screamed,"HE CAN'T DO THAT! SOMEONE STOP HIM!" The rest of D-Kef and officals came out and stopped Pane. Derek said,"Your winner is Kef-Pac...even though it doesn't look like he won."
Big Moose vs. Crispy
The Big Moose walked down the ramp as his music started playing Weeeellll it's the Big Moose.The Big Moose climbed into the ring and walked to his croner as the crowd cheered him. next Crispy's music started to play as the crowd yelled. Crispy ran into the ring grabbed the mike and started to shout "Who wants to see me beat the crap out of the Big Moose tonight???" The crowd started to boo. Before Crispy could finish what he was saying the Big Moose was on top of things beating Crispy's ass all around the ring."The Big Moose is beating the crap out of Crispy" said Steven. Crispy bounced off the ropes trying to knock down the Big Moose but it didn't work. the Big Moose grabbed Crispy and flung him like a hefty bag full of meat over the top ropes. The crowd went crazy and started shouting the Big Moose's name.While the Moose's back was turned however Crispy ran in and gave the Moose a low blow.The Big Moose fell to his knees in pain as Crispy mercilessly kicked him in the face.Crispy went for the cover but the Big Moose even though still in pain kicked out of the cover Crispy climbed the turnbuckle as the crowd started shouting "Big Moose, Big Moose" their shouting seemed to make Crispy more mad but before he could do anything the Big Moose had recovered and pulled Crispy off the top ropes and started to wail on him. the Big Moose started to signal for the Moose Drop. He grabbed Crispy and Moose Dropped him in the center of the ring. Crispy tapped out."It looks like Crispy lost this match to the Big Moose" said Steven.
The Brain vs. Macho Moose
The Brains music started to play.the crowd started chanting "Nugget, Nugget" The Brain came out and grabbed the mike and started speaking."I'm tired of being only hardcore.I deserve a world title shot, but since the champion and the No.1 contender both have matches tonight I'm gonna call out the No.2 contender that jabroni Macho Moose. I'm gonna take his Slim Jims turn them sideways and STICK THEM STRAIGHT UP HIS CANDY ASS!!" Macho Moose's music started to play as he ran down the ramp to answer The Brain's challenge.Derek licked his lips and said " it's gonna be a slobberknocker!". Macho Moose and the Brain started punching each other as the bell rang. Macho and Brain started exchanging blows one for one until Macho Moose threw the Brain against the ropes and clotheslined him. Macho Moose screamed "ohhhh yeahhh" and started to choke the Brain with a Slim Jim when the ref wasn't looking.The Brain poked Macho Moose in the eye and sat up. while Macho was stunned he climbed up the top ropes and jumped at him but he was too late the Macho Moose countered with a missle drop kick. Macho Moose got up and put The Brain on the top ropes to set him up for the Jack Smack but The Brain countered and used a superplex. "Ouch" said PD Derek " I'm tired of the brain wrestling I'm gonna go look for some puppies" Steven started yelling "Wait we have a show to do" but he was too late PD already was in the back room. " He's gonna get fired by the president for this one day". As the action continued it looks like Macho Moose had gained the upper hand as he put a submission move on The Brain but Brain got his leg up on a rope "that was way to close to do that" said Steven.Macho Moose picked up The Brain and ddt'ed him. Macho Moose climbed the top rope and did his flying elbow drop and it connected with The Brains chest. Macho went for the pin 1..2.. but no the Brain miraculesly kicked out." Macho looks upset at this turn out" said steven "and where is Derek???". Macho Moose picked up The Brain but Brain elbowed him to the gut. The Brain bounced off the ropes and clotheslined Macho Moose. Brain picked up Macho Moose and whipped him into the corner. The Brain climbed up and started punching Macho Moose to the head. The crowd started counting 1..2..3..4..5 Macho Moose came to and did a running power bomb to The Brain. Macho Moose picked up brain and set him up for the JackSmack for a second time and finally got him.Macho Moose went for the cover. The ref counted 1..2..3 " Wow Macho Moose beat The Brain's brains out". Macho Moose's Music started to play as he left the brain unconcious in the center of the ring. Derek came back and said,"Just enough time for a quicky."
Joe Hart vs. Adam Blackman vs. Hardcore Howie
Derek licked his lips and yelled "HARDCORE SLOBBER-KNOCKER!". Adam walked out and was immediately ambushed from behind by both Joe and Howie. Joe beat Adam with a kendo stick while Howie held him. They got in the ring and stomped Adam. The ref rang the bell. Joe bounced off the ropes and was going to do a leg drop to Adam but Howie clotheslined Joe down. Howie picked them both up and bashed their heads together. Howie picked up Joe but Joe lowblowed him. Joe picked up a chair and hit Howie in the face. Joe rolled Adam to the outside and whipped him into the steel steps. Joe threw Adam over the steel guard rail and into the crowd. Joe body slammed him then climbed back over the rail to the outside of the ring. Joe jumped on the top off the rail and dove at Adam. "WOW! What a springboard off the steel guard rail!" Steven yelled. Hardcore Howie finally started to get up in the ring. Adam and Joe were fighting in the crowd. Howie climbed the turnbuckle and bulldogged both Adam and Joe. "WOW! A double-bulldog off the top rope into the crowd by Hardcore Howie!" Steven screamed. "What a match this has been so far, but it would be even better with PUPPIES!" Derek yelled. All 3 men were down on the outside. Howie got up first and rolled Joe in the ring. Howie DDTed Joe and covered 1...2..and Joe kicked out. "How can Joe have kicked out after that bulldog in the crowd!?" Steven said. Adam got up and climbed into the ring with a chair. Hardcore Howie bounced himself off the ropes and then Adam hit him in the back of the head with a chair. Adam hit Joe with the chair and then threw him to the outside. Adam set the chair down on the mat, picked up Howie and climbed the ropes. Adam picked up Howie and set him up on the ropes along side Adam. Adam picked up Howie again and powerbombed him onto the chair. Adam picked up Howie and gave him a DVD onto the chair. Howie was knocked out. Adam pinned Howie 1...2...3! Adam wins the 3-way Hardcore championship match.
BA Chilli Gunn vs. Sexy Della
Derek screamed,"This is it! The Main Event!" Steven said,"No, it's not." Derek said,"It is for me because..." Bad Ass Chilli Gunn walked out in a green and black dress. Derek screamed,"PUPPIES!" Steven said,"Again with the puppies...Hey! Why does Chilli Gunn have D-Kef music?" Chilli Gunn grabbed a mike and said,"I am in D-Kef and if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya! KRAM IT!" Sexy Della came out in a blue dress with cowhide on it. Again, Derek screamed,"PUPPIES!" Sexy Della ran into the ring. The ref rang the bell. Chilli turned around, pulled her dress up, and mooned Sexy Della. Della jumped on top of her and started slamming her head into the mat. Chilli pushed her off and started ripping at her dress. Della kicked her away and got up. Chilli ran at her and she got bodyslammed. Della pulled part of the top of Chilli's dress off. Derek screamed,"I SEE A BRA! I wonder what size she is" Steven said,"It's not the size of a woman's bra that matters, Derek." Derek said,"You're right! It's what's inside the bra that matters." Della pulled the rest of Chilli's top off. Gunn pushed her away. Chilli ripped Della's top off. Derek screamed,"SEXY DELLA'S NOT WEARING A BRA!" Steven said,"At least she covered herself before the cameras got anything. This is live. We could have lost out sponsers." The crowd chanted,"PUPPIES." Derek said,"The people know what they want." As Sexy Della was trying to put her dress back together, Chilli climbed the turnbuckle and did a toprope Kick Asser on her. Chilli ripped Della's dress off. Derek screamed,"OH YEAH!" The ref called for the bell. Bad Ass Chilli Gunn won. Steven said,"At least, she's wearing panties." Derek said,"Come on...roll over..ROLL OVER!"
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Adam and Joe were fighting in the crowd. Howie climbed the turnbuckle and
bulldogged both Adam and Joe. "WOW! A double-bulldog off the top rope into
the crowd by Hardcore Howie!" Steven screamed.
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Kevin Michaels/ReyMooseJr vs. Triple X/RoadFoxx
Steven said,"What a match! A Hardcore Tag Team Match with The newest member to Moose Pack, Kevin Michaels and ReyMooseJr verses Triple X and RoadFoxx." Derek said,"But no puppies.." HBK and ReyMooseJr walked out. The crowd cheered. Kevin grabbed a mike and said,"HELLLO LADIES! You know, the Big Kevbowski is a lot like a purse. Women can get everything they need out of both of them." The women roared. Triple X and RoadFoxx came out. The crowd cheered. The music changed and RoadFoxx stopped. He pointed to the entrance area as five beautiful women walked out. The men roared. Triple X, RoadFoxx, and the women all got into the ring. RoadFoxx got the mike and said,"How does everybody like my Foxxy Women?" The men roared again. Derek licked his lips and said,"Puppies." RoadFoxx continued,"Kevin Michaels and ReyMooseJr, if you let us win, both of you can have one of my Foxxy Women each." Steven said,"What is he? a pimp?" Triple X said,"I don't care about winning or losing as long as I kick both of their asses!" Triple X jumped on Kevin Michaels. The ref rang the bell. ReyMooseJr ran at RoadFoxx. Foxx flipped him over the toprope but ReyMooseJr landed on the apron. He grabbed RoadFoxx's head pulled him out of the ring. Triple X and HBK exchanged blows for awhile until Triple X was knocked out of the ring. Kevin tried to pull Triple X into the ring by his hair but Triple X grabbed his feet and pulled him out. RoadFoxx whipped ReyMooseJr into the railing. Foxx started the Foxx Train and ran at ReyMoosejr but he moved sending Foxx into the hard steel. Triple X slammed HBK's head into the announcers table. Derek said,"Slobber-Knocker." Triple X tried to do it again but Kevin elbowed him and slammed Triple X's head into the table. ReyMoose went for the PimpDriver on The RoadFoxx but Foxx moved his leg back and lowblowed him. RoadFoxx pulled his arm between his legs and did the Pumphandle Slam. ReyMooseJr flipped over when he was up in the air and bulldogged Foxx on the floor. ReyMooseJr ran over to Triple X and dropkicked him in the back of the head. HBK got back into the ring and climbed the turnbuckle. Triple X got up and did a JawBreaker on ReyMooseJr. He picked up a chair and was about to hit ReyMooseJr with it. ReyMooseJr pointed over at Kevin. Triple X turned around and got Sweet & Sour Chin Music from the toprope though a chair. Steven said,"WHAT A MOVE!" HBK covered and the ref counted 1..2..3. Kevin Michaels and ReyMooseJr won.
EdgE666 vs. Josh LeReux
Steven said,"This is it. The first ever I QUIT Match. EdgE666 verses Josh LeReux. The rules are very simple: Anything goes and the first person to say the words "I Quit" will lose." EdgE666 came out of the crowd. The lights went out and Josh LeReux came out. Derek said,"EdgE666 and Josh seem to be always fighting for the belt. I wouldn't be suprised if they were in that giant cage match at Hardcore Heaven." THe bell rang and EdgE666 ran at Josh. Josh moved and he went head first into the turnbuckle pad. Josh slammed his head over and over into the pad. Josh then clotheslined EdgE666 over the toprope. Josh got out of the ring and clotheslined him over the railing. Derek licked his lips and said,"The fights in the crowd. It could get out of control. Slobber-Knocker!" Josh picked EdgE666 but EdgE666 kicked him and ddt'ed Josh on the floor. EdgE666 started punching Josh LeReux over and over. Josh rolled over and started beating on EdgE666. Steven said,"Wait. I'm getting something. Get a camera backstage!" The whole Moose Pack was knocked out and covered in Pentagrams, The Rage's symbol. The Rage came out and helped beat on EdgE666. They brought him back to the ring. Josh went under the ring and got a cattleprod. Steven said,"Oh, NO! They can't do that!" Pane, Adam Blackman, and Crispy held EdgE666 while Josh prodded him until EdgE666 screamed,"I QUIT!" The ref rang the bell. Josh LeReux won. Steven said,"EdgE666 is in a whole lotta pain." A giant Pentagram lowered down from the ceiling. They strapped EdgE666 to the symbol and raised it up. Steven said,"This is uncalled for!" The symbol went up until you couldn't even see it and then, came back down...WITH THE MAN IN THE TRENCHCOAT ON TOP! The Rage backed away as the symbol was lowered to the ground and EdgE666 and the mystery man were left in the ring alone.