Timothy Jones in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night right before Death Toll 2000! I'm glad you could all be here with us in the arena or at home because Timothy Jones has some big pay-per-view info to give us,"said Steven. Ken said,"Mr. Jones is da man! Who else could run UWM better! NO BODY!" "No Chance" came on and Timothy Jones walked out with his team. They got into the ring with the crowd boo'ing. Timothy got the mic and said,"I know you all want to know what the main event is. It will NOT be PD Derek verses LeReux." Steven said,"What!? Derek is the no.1 contender and LeReux is the champion!" Mr. Jones continued,"It will be Triple X verses PD Derek verses LeReux. It'll be a 3-way match BUT I'm not done yet. It will be a 3-way LADDER MATCH!" Ken yelled,"OHHHHH DADDY! A 3-Way Ladder match for the World Championship!" Timothy continued,"And LeReux will face PD Derek TONIGHT IN A PAY-PER-VIEW MATCH! That's not the only thing left for the pay-per-view. Justin Edible has been running his mouth about beating Adam. Well, he'll get his chance BUT it'll be non-title. If he wins tonight, it'll be him and Adam Blackman and Pane in a 3-way match for the TV Championship! Calm down. There's more. Joe Hart has betried me and my group by joining up with Lance Fortune and Mr. Lucky. Well, Joe you'll have to go one-on-one with the man who took your place, TRIPLE X! And it will be for the IC Belt! No one messes with my team and no one MESSES WITH ME!"
Justin Edible vs. Adam Blackman
Justin Edible came out with his the crowd on his side. Steven said,"I never really liked this guy but if he's against one of Timothy's team members than I'm all for him." Ken shook his head and said,"No wonder I make more money than you. You keep dissin' da boss." Adam Blackman came out to the crowd's boo's. Ken said,"Now, I'm not kissing Mr. Jones's ass. I really do like Adam Blackman. He has had the Tag Team, IC, and Hardcore title. He's the current TV Champion. If he got the World Championship, he'd be a UWM Belt Master." Steven said,"What the hell is a belt master?" Ken said,"I dunno. I made it up. If you win the World, IC, TV, Tag Team, and Hardcore Belts, you're a Belt Master." Steven said,"Whatever." Justin jumped Adam from behind and the bell rang. Justin pounded away on Adam until the ref got him off. Adam Blackman got up and nailed Justin with a clothesline from Hell. Adam kicked and stomped on him but Justin got up and bodyslammed Adam. Justin climbed on top of him and punched him over and over. The ref had to pull him off. Justin pushed the ref away and began punching Adam again and again. The ref pulled him off again. Justin got in the ref's face and Adam did a school boy pin. The ref counted 1..2. and Justin kicked out. Steven said,"Adam almost won with a quick pin." Now, Adam punched away at Justin and the ref pulled him off. Adam picked the ref up and dvd'ed him. Steven said,"The ref is down!" Justin got up and lowblowed Adam. Adam fell to the ground and Justin stomped away on him. Adam rolled out of the ring and got his Kendo Stick. Justin reached over the toprope to drag Adam in by his hair and Adam hit him in the head with the Kendo Stick. Justin fell down and Adam rolled into the ring. Adam hit Justin in the ribs over and over until Officals came down. They got Adam off him. The ref got up and declared Justin Edible the winner. Ken said,"Justin will go on to Death Toll to face Adam and Pane in a 3-way match for the TV Championship."
Slut TV
Womankind appeared on the Big TV as it powered up. "Does everybody know what time it is!?"Ken shouted. "She must be on camera for half the show with all she does now,"Steven said. "Shut up and listen Steven, before she does a Slut TV on you,"Ken said. "Hello again wrestling fans, and welcome to yet another episode of Slut TV. It came to my attention last week that some people are STILL not convinced that these other UWM women wrestlers are total skanks. So, I took it upon myself to prove it further. Here I am, right outside Sexy Della's dressing room. But, is it really necessary to prove that she's a slut? The name says it all. Who would put 'Sexy' in their wrestling name, unless they wanted attention from guys? Anyway, let's see what kind of...activities Della is up to this time," Womankind said. The camera went into Della's dressing room and caught Della stuffing her bra. "Look at that! What woman would do that, unless they wanted people to sleep with them? Come on, people, how can you NOT be convinced with all the evidence I've given you!?" Womankind said. Della turned around and saw Womankind at her dressing room door. Della chased Womankind around the backstage area. "Wow. I didn't know they were just toy puppies..."Ken said. "You can expect those two in the ring tonight. Anyway, let's get back to the action," Steven said.
Lance Fortune vs. RoadFoxx
RoadFoxx's music hit and he came out doing his everyday gimmick. He got into the ring and said "Lance Fortune Cookie, bring your ass so I can beat you like your mama never beat ya before!" Lance Fortune's music hit. The cameras went in the locker room "You guys are ignorant and stupid assholes!"said Fortune. "I don't want any business to do with you SOBs!" "Wow, Fortune is really turned up against the sell outs, Matt Sledge, Kevin Hash, Jerkicho,"said Ken. "Sure is...RoadFoxx might not last long in this one with Lance Fortune heated up." Fortune walks out and the crowd cheers for Fortune. Fortune runs into the ring and the bell sounds. RoadFoxx started stomping on him. "RoadFoxx takes the early momentum,"said Steven. RoadFoxx picked him up and gave him jabs to the chest. Foxx kicked him into the turnbuckle. He stepped back and gets ready for the Foxx Train. "Here it comes, the FoxxTrain!!"said Ken. "It looks like he's going for an early when,"replied Steven. Foxx ran quickly but Lance moved out of the way. "That's got to hurt bad!"said Ken,"He's one dumb moron!" Fortune took advantage of his start. He gave two kicks to RoadFoxx while Foxx was in the turnbuckle. He then gave Foxx a bellyback suplex. "Nice move by the new jobber in the UWM, Lance Fortune."said Steven. Fortune pinned 1..2..kick out by Foxx. "What a close one!"said Ken. Fortune gave RoadFoxx knees to the stomach. He irish whipped Foxx and both men clotheslined each other. The ref counted 1..2..3..4..5..Foxx is shaking his head while Fortune stands up unstable. Foxx finally gets up. Fortune got Foxx from the back and did a bridging suplex. He unlocked Foxx. "He could of won that match if he kept Foxx locked into the suplex!"said Ken. "He's adding insult to injury Ken, if you could figure that out."said Steven. He picked up Foxx from the mat and set him up for the double arm ddt. The crowd cheered and he did the ddt to Foxx on the map. "He is taking all the momentum now."said Steven. "Yes, this is great! Here they come, the sell outs!"said Ken. "Not those damn guys."said Steven. They were walking down the ramp. "Damn them!"said Steven. "Don't damn those great athletes!"said Ken. The crowd boo'ed. Foxx got up and distracted the ref. Hash, Sledge, and Jerkicho were in the ring. When Fortune turned around, Hash and Jerkicho did a shoulder charge to him. Jerkicho stomped away. Jerkicho climbed the turnbuckle. He did a hard elbow drop. Sledge followed with a suplex to him. Hash set him up for a hard spine bomb. Before it could happen, the ref saw it and called for the bell. "Damn those sell outs!"said Steven."They screwed this great athlete." Hash layed the spine bomb on him. The sell outs left the ring stomping on Fortune. Foxx had already left. "What friends they were!"said Steven.
Ugly Bitch TV
The Big TV powered up again. "Could it be!? Two Slut TV's in one night? OH DADDY!"Ken screamed. Rini, DDT, and Della all appeared on the big TV. "Hey what the hell? Where's Womankind!?"Ken yelled out. Rini turned towards the camera. "Hello again wrestling fans, and welcome to the first ever episode of Ugly Bitch TV,"Rini said. "The purpose of this is to show all the women wrestlers in UWM who can't even get a guy to like her,"Della continued. "And that can only mean one person. Womankind. Let's go take a look at what she's doing now,"DDT said. The 3 women and the cameraman snuck into Womankind's dressing room quietly. Womankind was training with a punching bag. "Look at that...She's training for her match with me tonight. Just because she can't get any guys to like her, she decides to do some stupid Slut TV thing on the girls that are more beautiful than her,"Della said. "I wouldn't call us sluts, I'd call her jealous,"DDT said. "You'd think with her new contract, she might be smart enough to get some plastic surgery done or something,"Rini said. "Well, she'll never lose her virginity, but she will lose that Women's championship belt tonight to me, you can count on that,"Della said. The women walked back to their dressing rooms and the Big TV powered down. Ken yelled,"They can't do that! Womankind is not gonna be happy when she sees this." Steven said,"Payback's a bitch, huh Womankind?"
Jerkicho vs. Big Moose
The fireworks hit as Jerkicho came out. "Welcome to, Jericho is Phoenix!" The crowd boo'ed as he talked. "Tonight, is going to be a great night when I beat that big hunk of shit, Big Rooster. He is nothing but the gum stuck on some little kids' shoes. This federation has no talent except for me and a couple of other minor stars but the fact of the matter is Jerkicho is here. The Ayatollah of Coke Cola! Come out here Fred Flinstone!" Moose Pack music hit and the crowd cheered as Big Moose ran in the ring. He clobbered Jerkicho with clotheslines and punches. He whipped Jerkicho into the ropes and did a press slam. "Jerkicho is getting the.... well, he's getting beat brutally by a great star."said Steven. "This isn't even a good match up. Jerkicho is going to beat Big Roos...Moose. Jerkicho is just giving Moose a little chance right now."said Ken. Big Moose made huge stomps on Jerkicho. Big Moose taunted him and posed to the crowd. Jerkicho ran and drop kicked Big Moose. Moose didn't move. Moose looked at Jerkicho. Jerkicho started backing up. He grabbed Jerkicho's hair. He kicked Jerkicho in the chest softly but still hard enough to take the breath out of him. He did the Moose slam! "AHHHH.. Jerkicho shouldn't of gave Big Moose that edge at the beginning."said Ken. "Oh come on. Give Moose some credit, he pounded Jerkicho. Jerkicho has no ability against Moose."said Steven. Moose pinned after a while letting Jerkicho move but Jerkicho couldn't kick out with Moose covering his whole body. He pinned 1..2..3! "Great win by Big Moose!"said Steven.
Lance Fortune Interview
James was backstage with Lance Fortune, Mr. Lucky, and Joe Hart. James said,"It seems to me that you and Matt, Hash, and Jerkicho are not getting along." Lance said,"You mean the Sell Outs. They begged me to pay them when they saw all the money we had. They are the worst wrestlers in UWM, No, THE WORLD! They want to prove themselves. They can prove themselves at Death Toll 2000 by facing Mr. Lucky, Joe Hart, and I in a cage match. Then, we'll see who really suck in this fed."
Sexy Della vs. Womankind
Della walked down to the ring. "Both Della and Womankind have already had a lot of camera time today,"Steven said. Ken jumped out of his seat and shouted towards Della,"Hey Della! The right's more stuffed than the left is!" Della ignored Ken's comment as the crowd yelled things at her. "You think Womankind knows about that Ugly Bitch TV by now?"Ken asked. "I'd think so..."Steven said. Womankind ran out, dove in the ring, and quickly began pounding on Della with a flurry of punches. "I think that answers your question, Ken,"Steven said. "She didn't even wait for the bell..."Ken said. Womankind whipped Della in the corner and followed up with a clothesline. "I'd sure hate to be Della right now..."Steven said. Womankind whipped Della back into the other corner. Della bounced back out with the impact, and Womankind caught her with a samoan drop. Womankind covered 1...2..Kick out. "Too early for pins Womankind,"Ken said. Womankind threw Della to the outside. Womankind jumped to the outside herself. Womankind grabbed Della and smashed her face against the announcer's table. "Don't worry Della, I won't bash up your precious face...too much,"Womankind said. Womankind bashed Della's face into the announcer's table again. "HEY!"Steven said. "Come a little closer ladies...lady. No, not you Womankind,"Ken said. Womankind grabbed Della and Ken's heads, and bashed them together. "OW!!!"Ken cried out in pain. "You deserved that,"Steven said. Womankind threw Della into the steel guard rail. Womankind tried to follow up with a splash, but Della moved, and Womankind ended up going gut-first into the steel guard rail. "Ouch! That had to take the wind out of her. Finally, some offense out of Della...Well, not really,"Ken said. "Hey, you know what they say. The best offense is a good defence,"Steven said. Della went over to Womankind and gave her a few shots to the face. Della rolled Womankind back into the ring. Della went to throw Womankind off the ropes, but Womankind reversed it. Della came flying back with a clothesline, but Womankind ducked. As soon as Della turned around, Womankind gave her a superkick right to the mouth. "Wow! Della didn't know what hit her!"Steven screamed. Womankind waited for Della to get up, then she locked on the Womanible Claw. Della submitted. Womankind took the championship belt and headed backstage. Steven said,"Quite an impressive victory by Womankind...as usual."
Matt Sledge, Jerkicho, and Kevin Hash Interview
James was backstage with Matt Sledge, Jerkicho, and Kevin Hash. James said,"You heard the challenge by Lance Fortune. Do you accept it?" Jerkicho started to say something but Matt cut in and said,"Lance, you piece of puke! You dare make fun of us and call us Sell Outs! We accept your match and I'll knock your teeth so far down your throat you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush'em! You'll be the first. After that, I'll beat Hardcore Howie and take his Hardcore Championship which I DESERVE! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME IN A HARDCORE MATCH!" James said,"Jerkicho and Kevin, what do you have to say?" They began to talk but Matt interupted them and said,"They are happy to be my partners and to be in the same spotlight as the Hardcore Legend himself, Matt Sledge." Jerkicho yelled,"SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The people want to hear from the Ayatollah of Coke Cola, that Bad Pajama-Mama, and most importantly the person who will take down Lance Fortune!" Matt said,"I'll take Lance! You can take Mr. Lucky." Hash grabbed Matt and Jerkicho by their necks and said,"Will you two SHUT UP! Everyone can take turns beating the living shit out of Lance." Ken said,"Wow, all that weed and Hash is still smarter than Matt and Jerkicho." Steven shook his head and said,"That's just wrong."
Joe Hart vs. Triple X
"Well Ken, this should be a good match,"said Steven,"Both these competitors should be fighting till they can't move cause not only is the Intercontinental title on the line and if Triple X wins the Intercontinental Championship and the World Championship will be on the line at the main event at Death Toll 2000." Triple X came out and look focused. Joe came running out and slid into the ring. The ref called for the bell and Triple X ran at Joe, Joe moved and Triple X bounced off the ropes right into a drop kick. Joe picked Triple X up and brought him into the corner where he started to punch and stomp Triple X until he stumbled right out of the corner into Joes arms where Joe suplexed him and covered, 1,2, kickout. Triple X got up but got knocked down again by a hard punch. Joe bounced off the ropes and tried a elbow, but missed and allowed Triple X to get up and clothesline him down. Joe got up but Triple X bodyslammed him down and slid him out of the ring onto the floor. Triple X climbed out onto the ring apron and waited for Joe to get up and when Joe got up he dove off, but Joe moved and used Triple X's on momentum to slam him into the guard rail. Triple X layed on the ground and Joe jumped off the steel steps and hit a knee drop onto Triple X's head. "Great move,"said Steven. Joe rolled Triple X into the ring and Joe slid in and covered, 1,2, Triple X got his foot on the rope. "Bad ring positioning,"said Ken. Joe was picking up Triple X and was low blowed. "OOHHH DADDY!" Joe crumbled to the ground and had a white pale blankless face. Triple X seized the opportunity and signalled for the Sexdegree but stopped when he was setting up and threw Joe onto the ground and applied the Dullshooter. "THATS JOES MOVE!"screamed Steven. Joe was trying to crawl to the ropes but instead rolled and sat up and now he had the Dullshooter on. "WHAT A REVERSAL!!"screamed Steven. "Geez calm down,"said Ken. Triple X was screaming and had just enough reach and grabbed the ropes. Joe got angry. He grabbed Triple X and hit a huge powerbomb. "OOHHHH DDAADDDDYY, THATS THE MOST PAINFUL LOOKING POWERBOMB I EVER SEEN!!"screamed Ken. Joe covered Triple X, 1,2,...kickout. "That was really close,"said Steven. Joe was frustrated and grabbed Triple X and was gonna russian leg sweep him but Tripple X reversed and had Joe set up for the Sexdegree. Triple X jumped and connected with the Sexdegree. Triple X covers, 1,2,3. "Winner and still Intercontinental Champion, TRIPLE X!"said Ken.
Sign of the Week
"Jerkicho Jerks Off"
PD Derek vs. LeReux
"I think I'll steal one of Derek's own words here...SLOBBER-KNOCKER!"Ken screamed. "This certainly will be a great match!"Steven said. The sound of glass shattering came over the loudspeakers and Derek walked out. "Look at the intensity in Derek's face. He wants that belt back,"Steven said. "Yeah, but don't forget who he's facing..."Ken said. LeReux came out and the crowd boo'ed. "Wow! The size of this guy still amazes me..."Steven said. "It doesn't matter if the crowd likes him or not, this guy is tough!"Ken exclaimed. LeReux got into the ring and Derek started stomping on him right away. LeReux got up and Derek started punching him. "LeReux's not even budging!"Steven shouted. LeReux looked down at Derek and knocked him down with one punch. "Who can beat this monster of a man!?"Ken yelled. LeReux picked up Derek and held him up in the air with a chokehold. "Wow! This guy never ceases to amaze me...There aren't many men who can do that to Derek!" Steven yelled. As soon as the ref counted to 4, LeReux tossed Derek into the corner. LeReux gave Derek a few knife-edge chops in the corner, then whipped him into the other corner. Derek flipped up over the top rope and out of the ring. "Good God! This guy has way too much power!"Steven screamed. Josh went outside the ring too. LeReux took Derek and whipped him into the steel guard rail. LeReux went back inside the ring and climbed to the top rope. "This guy is so agile for his size! There isn't a fault in his wrestling style! There is no weakness to exploit! How can anyone beat him!?"Steven yelled. LeReux waited for Derek to get up, then jumped down with a double axe-handle, but Derek punched LeReux in the stomach as he came down. "That's how. Every wrestler makes mistakes, no matter how good he is,"Ken said. Derek slid LeReux back in the ring. Derek pounded on LeReux. "He's got LeReux rocking!"Steven shouted. The crowd started to rally behind Derek as he seemed to gain momentum. Derek threw LeReux off the ropes and clotheslined him down. "LeReux's down!"Ken yelled. Derek bounced off the opposite-side ropes and gave LeReux a knee drop. Derek called for the Sex-Factor. "He's going for it!"Steven screamed. Suddenly, Timothy Jones and his group came running out from the back and attacked both men in the ring. "No! What the hell!? No!"Ken shouted. "Derek had this match won!" Steven screamed. D-Kef came running out from the back and the crowd roared. Kef-Pac tapped Triple X on the shoulder, and when Triple X turned around, Kef-Pac gave him a spinkick to the side of the head. Foxx spun Adam around, punched him once, twice, did a little dance, and knocked him down with a third punch. HBK ran into the ring and started stomping on Adam Blackman. "D-Kef is cleaning house!"Steven screamed. Timothy Jones scrambled out of the ring, but Kef-Pac caught John Carter before he could climb out. Kef-Pac looked around at the crowd as they cheered, and signalled for the Kef-Factor. Two guards ran down to the ring. Steven said,"Thank God. Stop this fight. It's out of control." They ran into the ring and clubbed Kef-Pac in the back of the head with a nightstick. "What the hell?"Ken said. The two guards handcuffed the D-Kef members to the ropes. "Hey, DDT can handcuff me anytime she wants!!!"Ken yelled. The guards beat on each of the helpless D-Kef members, Derek, and LeReux. Timothy Jones slid back into the ring with a mic and said, "I'd like to introduce the two newest members of my group, Marshall Law and Marshall Order! Now, with them, my group is complete. My "Foundation" shall rule UWM! Nothing can stop us, NOTHING!"