Timothy Jones in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night. Let's get underway. Here is the owner, Mr. Jones,"said Steven. Timothy Jones was in the ring with John Carter, Joe Hart, and the guy in black. He said,"I'd like to thank you all for being here. This is the last UWM Saturday Night of 1999. We've come a long way from when we started. They will be no matches on Christmas or New Years Day but the Pay-Per-View, Apocalypse will be the day after Christmas. At the Pay-Per-View, a new World Champion will be crowned and It won't be anyone from D-Kef! Just to make sure, tonight in that very ring, it will be Triple X and RoadFoxx verses Joe Hart and my mystery wrestler but that's not the Main Event. The Main Event will be Kef-Pac verses Sin and Pane!" Ken said,"Oh my God! Kef-Pac verses Sin and Pane in a handicap match!" Mr. Jones said,"You've got no chance!"
Matt Sledge vs. Masked Guy
Matt Sledge walked down the ramp with his music playing. He had a mic in his hand. He climbed into the ring. "I wonder what Matt Sledge wants to do. Its not scheduled." said Steven. "Masked Man, I know you're back there somewhere! I want a match with you so come out and lets get it going!" said Matt. The Masked Guy came out and shook his head no "Fine I'll put my position at Apocalypse on the line!" said Matt. The Masked Guy ran into the ring and Matt Sledge started stomping on him. The bell rang and the match began. We have a match now! said Ken. Matt whipped the man against the ropes and did a shoulder charge. Matt went for the quick pin. 1...2.. kick out. The Masked guy stood up and received blows from Sledge. Matt tried to whip the guy in the corner but got reversed into a shortarm clothesline. The guy picked-up Matt and did a body slam. He ran against the ropes and did a leg drop but Sledge moved out of the way. He whipped the guy against the ropes and did a sleeper hold to a sleeping neckbreaker. He whipped the guy once again off the ropes and picked him up to do a power slam. He went for a pin.1..2..kick out. "I can't believe he kicked out!" said Steven. "Yeah, he should've been done by now."said Ken. As Sledge was taunting him, the masked guy gained strength and they had a brawl. Both men were lagging. Sledge tried a punch but missed and the masked guy caught his arm and did a one-arm ddt. He whipped Sledge into the turnbuckle. He picked Sledge up and put him on the top turnbuckle. He picked him up and stood on the top turnbuckle. "What's he doing?"asked Steven. He jumped off and did an inverted jumping piledriver off the top rope. "Oh god! That's got to hurt his grandma from here!"said Ken. Steven said "What a hit for the masked guy." The masked guy went for the pin..1..2..3!!!! He won and the bell rang. It's over! The masked guy is going to Apocalypse.
Kid Kaos and Candyman Backstage
Steven said,"Something's going on backstage." Kid Kaos and Candyman were fighing in the back. Hybrid and Blackdust broke it up. Kaos screamed,"You cost me that match! We could be the no.1 contenders but you messed up!" Candyman yelled,"You were never a good partner!" Kaos knocked Hybrid over and jumped at Candyman. Officals came and broke the fight up. Ken said,"I wonder how they can act as a tag team for our next match."
Kid Kaos/Candyman vs. Adam Blackman/Justin Edible
Kaos and Candyman walked out. "These two were fighting earlier. It's going to be interesting to see if they can put that aside and fight as a good, functioning tag team," Steven said. Adam and Justin walked out. "Kef-Pac is still mad about getting injured by Adam. You had better believe that he's plotting his revenge." Ken said. Adam and Justin jumped in the ring. Justin went to the outside and left Adam to start off the match. Candyman and Kaos were arguing about who should start off against Adam. "I really fail to see how these 2 can exist as a tag team." Steven said. Kaos pushed Candyman into the ring and the ref rang the bell. Adam ran at Candyman and gave him a knee lift. Adam pounded on Candyman's back, flipped him around, and gave him a powerbomb. Adam bounced off the ropes and gave Candyman an elbow drop. Adam went over to the corner and tagged in Justin. Adam held Candyman and Justin kicked him in the stomach. Justin threw Candyman off the ropes and clotheslined him down. Kaos was screaming at Candyman to get up and make the tag. The ref went over to Kaos as Kaos tried to get in the ring, and Adam handed Justin a singapore cane and he lowblowed Candyman with it. The ref turned around and Justin covered Candyman 1...2...3! Adam and Justin went backstage victorious, while Kaos and Candyman continued to argue in the ring. Kaos grabbed a mic and said, "What were you doing!? You couldn't even make a tag! You're too weak to be my tag team partner!" Kaos furiously walked back to the locker room area.
Slut TV
"Something's going on backstage," Steven said. "Have we got a camera back there?" Ken asked. "I think so. Let's check it out." Steven said. The big TV came on and showed Womankind backstage with a mic. Womankind said, "Hello UWM fans, and welcome to another episode of Slut TV." Steven said, "Slut TV? What's she talking about?" Womankind continued, "Today, we stalk out the biggest slut of them all, Rini. I'm getting major slut vibes from the Moosepack locker room. Let's peek around the corner and take a look." Womankind tip-toed around to the Moosepack locker room and got the camera to take a look in there. Rini was kissing Rey. "HOLY CRAP!!! Look what they're doing! I told you they were together Steven!" Ken said. "Well, there you have it. Poor, poor Rey. Just another victim of Rini doing anything to get what she wants. And just think of how many diseases Rey is getting from that tramp," Womankind said. Rini continued to make out with Rey. "I also notice that Rini isn't doing anything about me being here. Now, that's because of 2 reasons. Number one, I could whoop her ass and would if she came at me. Number two, she knows that everything I'm saying is true!" Rini looked up and saw Womankind. Womankind said, "Well folks, that's all the time we have for Slut TV today." Rini charged at Womankind with a clothesline but Womankind threw the cameraman in front of her and Rini hit him instead. Womankind ran off and Rini chased her.
Hardcore Howie vs. Renegade
Howie came out to the ring with a scale. Howie got in the ring, put the scale down, and picked up a mic. "Now, I have a hardcore match against Renegade tonight. Hasn't anyone told him that I am THE true superheavyweight in UWM? Hasn't anyone told him that I am THE hardcore icon? Well, it's time for him to go to school, come on boys!" Howie said. "Boys? Who's he talking to?" Ken said. 2 UWM employees wheeled down a couple of dumpsters to ringside. "WOW! Look at all those weapons!" Steven yelled. "I'm gonna teach this punk what hardcore is all about!" Howie said. Renegade came out and Howie went to get a weapon. Renegade ran at Howie, but Howie put out a garbage can lid and Renegade ran right into it. Howie smashed the garbage can lid off Renegade's head. Howie grabbed another one and sandwiched Renegade's head between them. "Ouch! His ears will be ringing for days!" Steven said. Howie put a trash can over Renegade on the ground. Howie climbed the top turnbuckle and did an elbow drop on the trash can into Renegade. "Wow! What a move by Hardcore Howie!" Steven said. Howie set up a table and put the garbage can on it. "What's he doing now?" Steven said. Howie climbed to the top rope again and waited for Renegade to get up. Howie gave Renegade the Toprope Bulldog onto the trash can and through the table. "OH MY GOD! No way!" Steven screamed. Howie pinned Renegade 1...2...3. "That didn't take long at all...And I think Howie could have gotten about a 20 count right there." Ken said. "A very convincing victory by Hardcore Howie." Steven said.
Rini vs. Womankind
Womankind walked out and the crowd booed. "This match was made as a result of Womankind's 'Slut TV' earlier tonight." Steven said. Rini ran out and the crowd cheered. "I don't know Steven...Do you think she still has enough energy to fight after what happened? Rey's a pretty spunky guy..." Ken said. "Geez...Don't they deserve a little privacy?" Steven said. Rini jumped in the ring and didn't even wait for the bell. Rini started pounding on Womankind, and the ref rang the bell then. "See? She still has lots of energy, they probably didn't do anything. And if they did, then it's their business, not ours," Steven said. "The adrenalin must still be running through her." Ken said. Rini went to throw Womankind against the ropes, but Womankind reversed it. Rini ducked a clothesline and came back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rini went up to the top rope, but Womankind got up and threw Rini off the ropes. Womankind stomped on Rini then whipped her into the corner. Rini came bouncing out of the corner with the impact and Womankind clotheslined her down. "Just as I said, it was just an adrenalin rush. She couldn't keep that pace up forever. Although I'm sure she must have quite good stamina..." Ken said. "Would you be quiet!?" Steven said. Womankind picked up Rini and held her up in the air. "Look at Womankind's power!" Steven said. Womankind suplexed her to the mat. "She had Rini up there for a good 10 seconds!" Steven yelled. Womankind picked up Rini, raised her above her head, and gorilla press slammed her. "Womankind has totally worn down Rini with those powerful moves. She's in total control of this matchup." Steven said. Rini got up slowly and Womankind gave her the Womanible Claw. "My...Rini's throat is looking awful...white..." Ken said. "Do you ever stop!? You can't see a thing!" Steven yelled. Rini wouldn't submit. "Rini's not going to give up..." The ref raised Rini's hand once and it fell back down limply. The ref counted 1, then raised it again, and it fell back down. The ref did it again and called for the bell. "Rini's knocked out. She would rather pass out than give up..." Steven said. Womankind won by KO.
Big Moose in the Ring
"Weeeeelllllll, Well it's the Big Moose," went over the speakers and the 500 pound giant walked out. He got into the ring and said,"Dashi Nokia, you've gotten in my way for the last time! I want you in a steel cage at Apocalypse for your TV Belt. If you won't accept, then I'll come back there and take your belt!" Dashi Nokia came out and said,"I accept. At Apocalypse, I'll show you who is the master. I'll show you who is the artist. I'll show you that Pain is an Art Form!"
Kevin Michaels vs. KidMike vs. Meat Package
HBK's music started playing. He walked out and did a little dance out to the ring. He grabbed the mic and said, "Any of you losers want to face me? I know you all can't do much against me but I need some wrestling practice. "Its KidMike's music!" said Steven. KidMike stepped out and said "You need a match?? Well, you got one against me bitch!" "Its Meat Package's music, whats going on?" asked Ken. Meat said "I'm supposed to fight HBK, not this loser right here." "You know what, you both suck, I'll take you both on." said HBK. Right as Meat started after HBK, KidMike clotheslined Meat. "KidMike, Meat Package and HBK are going to get it on right here." said Steven. HBK stood in the corner as KidMike and Meat Package were brawling outside. "The bell hasn't rung so the match hasn't even started." said Ken. KidMike grabbed a chair and tried to hit Meat but Meat put his leg up and it hit KidMike right in the face. He put the chair down and ddt'ed KidMike into it. He looked under the mat for a table. He pulled one out and set it up. He grabbed KidMike and did a hanging verticle suplex on him. "Watch out! Its HBK flying over the ropes!" said Steven. HBK hurtled over the ropes and hit Meat Package and made both men fall. KidMike it hit table and Meat hit the ground hard. HBK threw both men into the ring. He whipped KidMike against the ropes and did a spinning heel kick. Than he whipped Meat and did Sweet and Sour chin music. Meat fell on top of KidMike. "Its over!!" said Ken. HBK pinned 1..2..3!!! "HBK won that match!" said Steven. Drowsily walking, Meat Package grabbed the mic and said "You damn loser! You costed me this match. If I wasn't busy fighting you, I could've won! I want you in a meat locker match at Apocolypse." "Those were strong words. " said Steven.
Outcasts Backstage
Ken said,"Something's going on in the back." Joe Hart and the man in black were stomping away on the Outcasts. Steven said,"Looks like they got the jump on them. Outcasts have been trying to get Mr. Jones to join them for awhile. Maybe, they'll stop after this."
Triple X/RoadFoxx vs. Joe Hart/Man in Black
Triple X and Foxx came out and the crowd cheered. "It's obvious that the crowd wants a D-Kef member to win that 16 man tournament. They hate Timothy Jones and his team of losers." Steven said. Joe Hart and the other bodyguard in black walked out. "Who is that guy? We still don't know..." Steven said. "'We'? You mean 'you'," Ken said. "You know who it is!?" Steven screamed. "Actually, no. I just like to mess with your mind," Ken said. Joe Hart jumped into the ring and started punching Foxx. The guy in black slid in and Triple X stomped on him. Triple X rolled the guy in black back outside. Joe picked up Foxx inside the ring and gave him a russian leg sweep. "I guess the two legal men would be Joe Hart and the Road Foxx," Steven said. Triple X whipped the guy in black into the steel steps. Triple X went to slam the guy in black's face into the steps, but the guy in black blocked and reversed it. Inside the ring, Joe continued to work on Foxx. Joe threw Foxx against the ropes and clotheslined him down. The guy in black was back up on the apron, and Joe tagged him in. The guy in black threw Foxx off the ropes again and backbody dropped him down. The guy in black gave Foxx a leg drop and covered 1...2..Kick out. "Just a two count," Steven said. The guy in black threw Foxx off the ropes and tried a clothesline, but Foxx ducked. Foxx bounced off the ropes on the other side and shoulder-blocked the guy in black down. Foxx bounced off the ropes and gave him a knee drop. "That may have hurt the guy in black, but that took a lot of energy out of Foxx too. Maybe too much. I don't know if he can make the tag," Ken said. The guy in black leapt over at Foxx, but missed. Foxx crawled over slowly and just made the tag before the guy in black got to him. Triple X got in the ring and gave the guy in black a hard right hand. Triple X went over to the other side and did the same to Joe. Triple X ran at the guy in black and clotheslined him down. Then he ran back at Joe and clotheslined him down too. "Triple X is cleaning house!" Steven yelled. Foxx came back in the ring and clotheslined Joe to the outside. Foxx followed Joe outside and continued to beat on him out there. Triple X went over to the guy in black. Triple X tore off the guy's mask. "OH MY GOD! LOOK WHO IT IS!" Steven yelled. Crispy was in the ring trying to cover up his face. "I would have never guessed!" Steven said. Triple X got Crispy and gave him the Sexdegree. Triple X covered 1...2...3! Triple X and Foxx won.
Kef-Pac vs. Sin/Pane
Steven said,"This is the main event and it doesn't look to good for Kef-Pac." Kef-Pac's music hit and he came out. The crowd went wild. The lights went out and when they came back on, Sin and Pane were beating on Kef-Pac in the ring. The ring sounded and the match got underway. Sin and Pane whipped Kef-Pac off the ropes and gave him a double boot to the face. Kef-Pac went down hard and Pane went to his corner. Sin hammered away on Kef-Pac with right hands. He whipped Kef-Pac off the ropes and went for a clothesline but Kef-Pac ducked. He bounced off the ropes and hit Sin with a flying Spinkick. Sin got up quickly and got another Spinkick. Pane climbed into the ring and Kef-Pac gave him a Spinkick. Pane caught him, jumped up, and did a huge bodyslam. Sin and Pane double teamed Kef-Pac again. Pane held him while Sin punched and kicked him. Steven said,"This is exactly what Mr. Jones wants. He wants Kef-Pac beaten till he can't wrestle anymore." Pane put Kef-Pac on his shoulders and Sin climbed the turnbuckle. Sin jumped off for his Flying Clothesline. Kef-Pac launched himself off Pane, grabbed Sin's head, and did the Kef-Factor. Ken screamed,"OHHHHH DADDY! WHAT A MOVE! Sin is out!" Pane picked Kef-Pac up by the throat and tossed him into the corner. He put his boot to his neck trying to choke him. The ref counted 1..2..3..4 and Pane let him go. Pane whipped him to the other corner hard. Kef-Pac bounced off and fell to the mat. Pane stomped away on Kef-Pac till the ref got him off. Steven said,"This is sad. Just pin him already." Pane picked Kef-Pac up and gorilla press slammed him to the steel steps outside. Pane went outside and brought him back in. Pane whipped Kef-Pac to the ropes again. Pane did a clothesline that Kef-Pac ducked under. As Kef-Pac came back, Pane grabbed his throat and Chokeslammed him. Pane set Kef-Pac up for the Super Powerbomb. Steven said,"Just pin him!" Pane lifted him up but Kef-Pac grabbed his head and did the Kef-Factor. Sin went outside the ring. Pane rolled over to the turnbuckle. Kef-Pac pointed at him and did the Kram- It Sign. The crowd roared. Ken said,"Looks like he's gonna do a Prep-Buster type move." Kef-Pac ran to the other corner and Sin hit him with a baseball bat. Steven yelled,"OH GOD! THAT BASBALL BAT BROKE AS IT HIT KEF-PAC'S HEAD!" The red called for the bell. Kef-Pac wins by dq. Ken said,"I think this was all a set up. Timothy Jones, John Carter, Joe Hart, and Crispy came down to the ring. Sin and Pane left as the Mr. Jones and his team got into the ring. Steven said,"Kef-Pac's a bloody mess." Joe Hart and Crispy held Kef-Pac and Timothy Jones and John Carter kicked and stomped on him. Mr. Jones held the World Championship Belt right up to his face and screamed,"You'll never get this belt! I promise that if you show up at Apocalypse, you'll leave in a bodybag!"