Timothy Jones/John Carter/Joe Hart in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night. I am Ken and this is Steven. We got a great show for ya but first, let's see what the prez wants to say,"said Ken. "No Chance in Hell" came on and Timothy Jones carrying the World Championship Belt, John Carter, and Joe Hart came out. Ken said,"Sweet music." They got into the ring and got a mic. Mr.Jones said,"Since no one in Degeneration-Kef could handle this belt and I'm not to sure who can. At the next pay-per-view, There will be a 16 man tournament for the World Championship belt. All of D-Kef will be in this tournament but they have no chance at winning. Last Saturday, D-Kef lost and at the pay-per-view, they will face those same wrestlers in return matches in the first round. If history repeats itself, D-Kef will go down! Tonight, we will see that as well. In that very ring, it will be Kef-Pac verses Joe Hart!" Steven said,"This pay-per-view is a must see!"
Studly Boyz Interview
Steven said,"Let's go to the back where James is with the Studly Boyz." James said,"What do you want to tell us?" Pa Pa Ray said,"We are here to challenge any tag teams to a four-way match and the winners will get a shot at us and the belt but no one will beat us cause we are the St..St..St" D-Buff smacked his head. Ray continued,"STUDLY BOYZ!"
Matt Sledge vs. The Brain vs. masked man
"This is Matt Sledge's debut matchup here in UWM." Steven said as Matt walked out. "Yeah that's right, and I have the inside goods on him." Ken said. "Inside goods? How do you find all this stuff out?" Steven asked. The Brain walked into the ring. "Secrets. Anyways, Matt Sledge hates all these wrestlers that get popular by gimmicks. He is a true wrestler that wasted no time with a microphone to convey an image to the crowd." Ken said. "Wow, you sure do know a lot about this guy..." Steven said. Ken continued and said, "That's not all! His trademark move is the Spinning Death Drop and his finisher is the Sledge Drop." The Brain grabbed the mic from the ring announcer and yelled at him. The Brain said, "Now, Timothy Jones has once again underestimated The Brain's talent. He has put The Brain against just ONE opponent. Well The Brain says this: The Brain can handle not only this new roody-poo, but that jabroni masked guy too." "Who is that masked man anyway?" Ken said. The Brain heard it and yelled at Ken, "DON'T EVER INTERUPPT THE GREAT ONE!" Ken ignored the Brain and said, "Hey Steven, who do you think the masked man is?" The Brain yelled at Ken again and said, "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HE THINKS IT IS! He's a jabroni and that's that!" The masked guy came running out from the back and dove into the ring. Ken said to the Brain, "Hey, look behind you, great one." The masked guy tapped the Brain on the shoulder. The Brain turned around and got a series of right hands from the masked guy. The masked guy whipped the Brain off the ropes, but Matt got in the way and back body dropped the Brain onto the masked guy. "Wow! Matt got both of them down there." Both the Brain and the masked guy got up and Matt clotheslined them both down. Matt picked up the masked guy and gave him a fisherman's suplex. Matt tossed the masked guy out of the ring and went over to the Brain. Matt picked up the Brain and gave him a piledriver. "Matt Sledge is cleaning house here!" Matt climbed to the top rope and gave the Brain the Spinning Death Drop. "That was the Spinning Death Drop, the set-up for his finisher!" Ken yelled. Matt grabbed the Brain and gave him the Sledge Drop. "There it is!" Ken said. The masked man climbed back into the ring and then he clotheslined Matt over the top rope and to the outside. The masked guy quickly pinned the Brain 1...2...3! Matt couldn't get back in the ring quick enough to break up the count. "What a smart move by the masked guy! He let Matt do all the work then he came in and got the pin!" Ken said. "Tough loss for the newcomer, Matt Sledge." Steven said.
Womankind in the Ring
Womankind came out and climbed into the ring with a microphone. "As you may or may not know, there is a battle of the whores at the next pay-per-view. It's going to be a mud wrestling cage match. It's going to be Sexy Della, Rini, DDT, and Tygress in the ring. I'm out here to officially appoint myself special guest referee of that match." Womankind said. "WOAH!" Steven said. "Oh yeah that's going to be fair alright." Ken said. D-Kef's music played and Tygress came out with a mic of her own. "I don't think so! There's no way you're going to be the ref of that match!" Tygress said. "And how are you going to stop me? By giving me an STD?" Womankind said. "I'm challenging you to a match in THAT VERY RING tonight! If I win, I get to be the ref for that match and you have to take my spot and wrestle in it. If you win, I'll wrestle and you ref." Tygress said. Womankind thought a minute and said, "You got yourself a match whore!"
Big Moose vs. Pane
WELLLLLL, WELL IT'S THE BIG MOOSE! hits and The Big Moose walks out to cheers from the crowd. "Just like the rest of 'Da Pack', the crowd loves him" said Steven. Then Pane's music hits and the crowd booed him. "The Rage recently got rid of Crispy, Pane's used-to-be tag team partner" said Ken. Big Moose slid under the ropes before Pane even got there and started punching him around. Big Moose tried throwing Pane into the steps, but Pane reversed it and threw Big Moose into the steps. "Ouch, that's gotta hurt" said Ken. Pane tossed Big Moose back in the ring and slid in himself. Before Pane could get back in, however, Big Moose picked him up and tossed him in the corner. He started to pound on Pane. Pane blocked a punch and tried to get out of the corner, but Big Moose grabbed Pane's hair and threw him into the center of the ring. "WHAT ELEVATION ON THAT TOSS" screamed Steven. As Pane lie down, Big Moose started kicking away at him.Pane climbed up in the corner while Big Moose was still brawling with him. Big Moose tried a headbutt, but Pane moved away and Big Mooses head hit the tunbuckle.Pane started kicking and punching him now. Pane had the upper edge, when he started taunting the crowd. "That Pane-In-The-Ass in annoying me" said Steven. Ken said, "Hey, your getting more colorful. Maybe the audience won't snooze when I'm gone" Big Moose was recuperating and Pane was still taunting him. Big Moose finally raised up his hand and yelled. As Pane turned around, Big Moose grabbed him throat. "MOOSE SLAM!" screamed Steven. Just before liftoff, someone was seen running down the ramp. "Oh no....that's DaShi NoKia. Here to spoil the fun" said Ken. DaShi had strange sticks with him. Big Moose was just about to lift up Pane when NoKia climbed on the apron and cracked his Jo Stick over Big Mooses head. "Hey ref...are you blind? Pane should be DQed." cried Steven. Dashi climbed out and Pane climbed to the top rope. He waited there awhile until Big Moose stirred and staggered to his feet, and Pane delivered a Top-Rope Clothesline. "It's all over for The Biggest Wrestler In The UWM" said Ken. Pane pinned Big Moose. 1....2...3! Pane wins with help of DaShi NoKia.
Tygress vs. Womankind
"This match was made earlier tonight. The Women's title that Womankind holds will not be on the line." Steven said. "But what will be on the line is a match in a mud wrestling cage match at the pay-per-view." Steven continued. "OH DADDYYYYYYYYY I CAN'T WAIT! What a Christmas present that will be!" Ken screamed. "The pay-per-view is on the day AFTER Christmas Ken...Oh well." Womankind grabbed a mic. "Hasn't she already said what she wanted to say? Let's get to the PUPPIES!" Ken said. "There's no way I'm losing this match. Sluts like Tygress should be the ones exposing their bodies for everyone to stare at in such perverted matches." Womankind said. Tygress walked out and the crowd roared. Tygress jumped in the ring and went after Womankind right away. "Womankind sure isn't making any friends here in UWM." Steven said. Tygress pounded away on Womankind. "GET HER WOMANKIND! GET HER!" Ken yelled out towards the ring. "KEN!!! Announcers are supposed to be mostly neutral..." Steven said. "Yeah, but TYGRESS IN A MUD WRESTLING MATCH!? OH DADDYYYY I want to see that!" Ken screamed. Tygress picked up Womankind and powerslammed her. Tygress covered 1...2.Kick out. "Too early for a pin yet." Ken said. Tygress got up and went to punch Womankind, but Womankind blocked it and raked Tygress's eyes. Womankind threw Tygress outside the ring. Womankind threw Tygress into the steel guard rail and then slammed her face into the steel steps. "Womankind eating the steps right there." Steven said. Tygress got up and ran at Womankind, but Womankind gave her a drop toe hold into the announcer's table. "HEY! Get the match back in the ring! We get our table destroyed every week..." Steven said. Womankind picked up Tygress and tried to give Tygress a piledriver onto the announcer's table, but Tygress countered it with a back body drop. "Steven, are you nuts!? You'd have to be to not want Tygress around you. HERE PUPPIES!" Ken yelled. Tygress went over to Ken and slapped him. "Ow...Those puppies have a bite as bad as their bark..." Ken said. Tygress turned around and received a dropkick to the face from Womankind. "Tygress lost her focus. You distracted her, Ken. You may have just given this match to Womankind." Steven said. "YESSSSSS!" Ken yelled. Womankind threw Tygress back in the ring. "Hey...Our table is still in one piece for once!" Steven said. Womankind put the Womanible Claw on Tygress. "It's over!!!" Ken yelled. Tygress went down to her knees, but gave Womankind a jawbreaker. "Nice counter out of the Womanible Claw by Tygress!" Steven said. Tygress climbed the top rope and gave the signal for the Tyger Pounce. Womankind got up and punched Tygress on the ropes. Womankind climbed onto the top rope too. "Wow, both women are on the top rope now. Whoever goes down, isn't getting up." Steven said. Womankind tried for a Superplex, but Tygress blocked it. Womankind punched Tygress in the side a few times and tried for a Superplex again, but Tygress still blocked it. Tygress pushed Womankind down off the ropes. Womankind got up and Tygress gave her the Tyger Pounce. Tygress covered and got the 3 count. "NOOOOOOO! Damn..." Ken said. "Don't worry Ken, at least she'll still be involved in the match...She might get thrown around in the mud a bit anyway." Steven said. "I guess so..." Ken said. "Well, now Womankind has to wrestle in that mud wrestling cage match at the pay-per-view and Tygress gets to be the ref." Steven said.
Moose Pack in the Ring
Moose Pack's music hit and Moose Pack came out. Ken said,"There's Rini again!" Steven said,"Not only that but look who's behind them." Pretty Fly Danny Smith was moonwalking down the ramp behind them doing the Moose Call. Rey turned around and dropkicked Danny and then, got into the ring with the rest of the Moose Pack. Macho Moose said,"First, I'd like you to welcome our newest member, Rini." Ken said,"I knew it!" Macho continued,"Now Jones, you've messed up for the last time. I don't want to wait till the pay-per-view. I want that belt now! So, bring that wimp Joe Hart out and I'll beat his ass for the belt. Mr. Jones came out with his music and said,"I don't think so. Joe Hart could beat your ass any day of the week but we will wait to the pay-per-view. As for the rest of you, ReyMooseJr and Pretty Fly Danny Smith will hook it up in the first round." Danny started screaming that he wouldn't hurt Rey. Timothy continued,"As for Big Moose, you will get a chance to become the Television Champion if you can beat Dashi Nokia in a Steel Cage!" Big Moose raised his hand for the Moose Slam Sign. Mr. Jones said," Like D-Kef, all of you will fall so I have named this pay-per-view, Apocalypse!"
ReyMooseJr/Rini vs. Adam Blackman/DDT
Adam and DDT walked out first. "2 Rage members versus 2 Moosepack members." Steven said. Rey and Rini walked out and the crowd roared. "Awwww the newlyweds!" Ken said. "What!? They're not married, and we're not 100% sure that they're together!" Steven said. Rey and Rini jumped into the ring and celebrated to the crowd. "This match has unique rules seeing as it is a mixed sex match." Steven said. "Did you say sex!?" Ken yelled. Steven sighed and continued, "A female must face a female in this match, and a male must face a male. If one female is tagged in, then the other female becomes the legal person in the ring for the other team too." Steven said. Rini and DDT started it off. "Getting to the puppies right away! YESSSS!" Ken said. Rini got a hold of Tracy and gave her some knee lifts to the chest. Rini whipped Tracy off the ropes but Tracy reversed it. Rini ducked a clothesline and came bouncing back with a flying cross body. Rini covered and got a 2 count. Rini pounded away on Tracy then dragged her to her feet by the hair. Rini whipped Tracy off the ropes, but Tracy reversed it again and gave Rini a spinebuster. Tracy picked up Rini and gave her a piledriver. Tracy threw Rini off the ropes and put her in a sleeperhold. Rini fell down to her knees. The crowd started chanting "Rini" to get her moving. Rini got up and gave Tracy a few elbows, then she bounced off the ropes and clotheslined her down. Both women fell down. "Rini's spent. She's gotta get over and tag her boyfriend." Ken said. "You mean Rey...But yes, I agree." Steven said. The ref started the mandatory 10 count and got to 7 before Rini got to her knees. Tracy tried to leap at Rini to pull her back from making the tag, but it was too late. "SHE TAGGED IN REY!!! He's fresh, he hasn't been in this match yet!" Steven yelled. "Yeah, but neither has Adam." Ken said. "But Rey has the crowd behind him, and momentum." Steven said. Rey jumped over the top rope and Adam climbed in. Rey ran at Adam and clotheslined him down. Adam got up and Rey clotheslined him down again. Rey pounded Adam into the corner and whipped him across the ring to the opposite corner. Rey followed up with a huge splash. "Rey's on fire!" Steven yelled. Rey backed up and gave Adam a bronco buster. "I'd rather be riding Rini if I was Rey..." Ken said. "WAIT! That's Justin Edible coming out!" Justin Edible ran out across the steel rampway, then fell. "What the hell happened there? Clumsy bastard." Ken said. "NO! IT WAS PRETTY FLY! PRETTY FLY DANNY SMITH WAS DOWN THERE AND HE TRIPPED UP JUSTIN EDIBLE!" Steven screamed. Rey bodyslammed Adam and climbed the top rope. Rey flew off with splash and covered. 1...2...3! "Rey and Rini win thanks to Pretty Fly!" Steven said.
Timothy Jones/Outcasts Backstage
Steven said,"Something's going on backstage." The Outcasts were talking to Timothy Jones. Hybrid said,"You can either join us or you can watch your fed die! What's it gonna be?" Timothy Jones said,"None of the above. I'll have my boys show you the door." Joe Hart and a man dressed all in black attacked the outcasts from behind. Joe Hart slammed Hybrid's head into the door and tossed him out. The man in black locked arms with Kid Kaos, lifted him up in the air, hooked one of the arms, and brought him down. Joe Hart tossed Blackdust outside into Hybrid and the man in black tossed Candyman and Kid Kaos out. Mr. Jones locked the door and said,"No one messes with Timothy Jones!"
Kevin Michaels vs. EdgE666
EdgE666 walks out to screams from the ladies in attendance. "Whew, the women love this guy." said Ken. "I bet you wanna be like him" said Steven. Heart Break Kevins music hit and he walked out to a large pop as well. "Two ladies men wanting to kick the crap out of each other" said Ken. "Just a reminder, this is an IC Title match" The bell sounded and the match began with a bang as HBK slid in. EdgE pounded away at him with a flurry of kicks, flattening HBK. HBK tried to get back with punches, but EdgE blocked them all and delivered his own. As HBK was stunned in the center, EdgE went up and hit a huge Hurricanrana, "Beautiful manuver by EdgE666" said Ken. HBK lay hurting, and EdgE threw up his arms to the crowd. "HBK better GET READY!" screamed EdgE666 to the fans as they screamed. Kevin got up and bear hugged EdgE from behind. He tried to lift him up numerous times but failed. EdgE reversed the hold and tried to lift HBK. That didn't work either. HBK reversed it again and immediatly hit a body-back suplex. "What a move, from Heart Break Kevin" said Steven.Heart Break Kevin signaled for the Sweet & Sour Chin Music. "A bit early, hmm Kevin?" questioned Ken. Kevin went for it and predictably missed. EdgE dropkicked his foe and HBK flew out of the ring. Surprisingly, EdgE didn't go after him, he yelled at him to get back in.HBK slid back in and was greeted with a axehandle smash from EdgE. EdgE picked up HBK and signalled for The Cutting EdgE. "This move is so devastating", said Steven. EdgE started running, but HBK got out of the hold. While EdgE got up, HBK gave him a sharp Sweet & Sour Chin Music. "He never saw it coming" muttered Ken. HBK pinned. 1...2...3! The ring announcer said, "Your winner, and NEW Intercontinental Champion, Heart, Break, Kevin!"
Al Fro vs. Rogues vs. Kid Kaos/Candyman vs. Triple X/RoadFoxx
Kid Kaos and Candyman walked out to the ring together and the crowd booed. "No one really likes the Outcasts. There are more Rage fans than there are Outcast fans." Steven said. "The Outcasts are totally uncool, they're a bunch of losers." Ken said. The Rogues ran out and the crowd booed again. "These 2 twin brothers have never been liked, but now they're just plain hated since they joined the Rage." Steven said. Foxx and Triple X came out and the crowd roared. Foxx had a mic and said, "OH YOU DAMN RIGHT! It's us, it's us, and we pimp all those hos and sluts!" Al Fro walked out alone. "Al Fro and the Studlys have had quite a war going recently. The Studlys stole Al Fro's hamster, Omsok, and made it into Little Dike Studly." Steven said. Al Fro jumped into the ring. "Who's his partner?" Steven said. "That guy is such a loser, he probably couldn't even find anyone to wrestle with him." Ken said. The ref signaled for the bell and the match started. "The rules to this match are very unique. This is a 4-way tag team matchup. Anyone can tag anyone. Whoever gets a pinfall first wins. The winner of this match will be the #1 contender for the tag team titles at Apocalypse." Steven said. "Looks like Kaos and Triple X are going to start it off." Ken said. Kaos ran at Triple X and clotheslined him down to the mat. Triple X got up quickly and raked Kaos's eyes. "That's one way to get the upper hand in a match. The old thumb-to-the-eyes." Steven said. Triple X whipped Kaos into the corner. Triple X ran in to follow up with a clothesline, but Kaos got his foot up and Triple X ran right into it. Triple X fell over and tagged in Lukas Bane. Lukas got in and dropkicked Kaos. Lukas pounded Kaos into the corner and irish whipped him into the opposite corner. "Major impact there. WAIT! Look at that! It's THE STUDLYS!" Where are the Studlys going? They're sneaking around the sides of the ring..." Steven said. The Studlys walked behind Al Fro and pulled him down. The Studlys hammered away on Al Fro on the outside. Triple X and Foxx jumped down and started pounding on the Studlys too. "It's an all-out war out there!" Steven said. Lukas tagged in his twin brother Jesse. Jesse jumped in and kicked Kaos in the ribs while Lukas was holding him. Jesse went to throw Kaos off the ropes, but Kaos reversed it. Jesse came back and ducked a clothesline, then gave Kaos a spinning neckbreaker. Jesse climbed the top rope and gave the signal. Jesse flew halfway across the ring and hit his Flying Senton Bomb. Jesse covered Kaos. Candyman came in to interfere, but Lukas dropkicked him. The ref counted 1...2...3! Kaos got up frustrated as he watched the Rogues celebrate and go backstage. Kaos grabbed a mic. "Where the hell were you Candyman? I was in the ring the whole match and you couldn't even spare the energy to make one save?" Kaos said. Candyman grabbed the mic and said, "I tried but Lu..." Kaos snatched the mic back and said, "But nothing! You're worthless! If we weren't in the same group, I'd beat your ass right here!" Kaos said. Kaos threw the mic down to the ground and went back to the locker room area.
Kef-Pac vs. Joe Hart
"This is the main event! Kef-Pac verses Joe Hart,"said Ken. Steven said,"Kef-Pac will get his revenge on Joe Hart for causing him to lose to the Macho Moose and losing the World Champion Belt." Kef-Pac came out first and the crowd went wild. Joe Hart came out with Timothy Jones, John Carter, and the man in black. They got into the ring and Mr. Jones said,"This will not be a regular match. This will be a First Blood Match. The first one to bleed loses and this is hardcore rules. Anyone can interfere...except if any member of D-Kef comes down here, there will be no tournament and I'll give the belt to Joe Hart. You don't want to make the other wrestlers angry do you. I suggest you don't come out. Kef-Pac jumped the bell and nailed Joe Hart with a couple of right hands. The man in black took Kef-Pac down with a sidewalk slam and him, John, and Timothy got out of the ring. Joe Hart worked on Kef-Pac's legs with a few knee drops. Steven said,"Kef-Pac is getting weaker in the legs. He needs to stay away from that dullshooter." Joe slid outside and got a chair. He slid back in as Kef-Pac got to his feet. Hart shoved the chair into Kef-Pac's gut a couple of times, opened it, and set it on the ground. He whipped Kef-Pac to the ropes and gorilla press slammed him on the chair. Ken said,"Is he busted open?" Steven said,"Nope but he's hurt." Joe Hart ripped at his face trying to make him bleed. Kef-Pac elbowed his way up and did a spinkick. Mr. Jones held up the World Championship Belt and distracted Kef-Pac. Joe came from behind and did a Russian Legsweep. Joe turned him around and put him in the Dullshooter. The ropes were barely out of Kef-Pac's reach. Mr. Jones went by the ropes and screamed,"You'll never get the belt Kef-Pac! You're a loser! You always were!" With a burst of energy, Kef-Pac pulled himself forward and nailed Timothy with a right hand. Joe fell over when Kef-Pac moved forward. Kef-Pac got ready to do the Kef-Factor on Joe but John Carter lowblowed him from the outside. Everyone got in the ring and stomped away on Kef-Pac. Steven said,"There's not a damn thing the ref or D-Kef can do." Joe Hart held Kef-Pac up and the man in black ran at him with the belt. Kef-Pac moved out of the way and the man hit Hart with the belt. Steven said,"Joe Hart is bleeding! It's over." John Carter rolled Joe out of the ring quickly. The man in black turned around and Kef-Pac did a spinkick to his head through the belt. Kef-Pac turned to Mr. Jones and the crowd went wild. Timothy tried to get away but Kef-Pac grabbed him by the hair and did the Kef-Factor. Ken said,"OHHHHHH DADDY!" John went around the other side of the ring and went under the ring. Steven said,"What the hell is he doing?" Kef-Pac picked Mr. Jones up and put the belt on the ground under him. The crowd went crazy. John slid into the ring with something in his hand. He hit Kef-Pac in the face with it before he could do the Kef-Factor. Ken said,"That's a razor blade! Kef-Pac's been cut!" The ref rang the bell and Joe Hart won. Steven said,"Joe bled first! They screwed Kef-Pac again!" John ran out of the ring and Timothy Jones, Joe, and the man in black followed. Kef-Pac stood on the turnbuckle and gave them the Kram It Sign. Mr. Jones put the belt around his waist and did the Kram It Sign to Kef-Pac. They walked away and laughed, leaving Kef-Pac in the ring.