Triple X in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night! I am Ken and this boring guy next to me is Steven,"said Ken. Triple X came out with the World Championship and got into the ring. Triple X got the mic and said,"As you all should know, I am the World Champion and NO ONE is going to take that from me." Timothy Jones walked out and said,"No one? I have someone here that would love to take that belt away from you. HIT HIS MUSIC!" "Kevin!! I think I'm cute. I know I'm sexy," came out of the speakers. Steven yelled,"THAT'S KEVIN MICHAELS'S MUSIC!" The crowd was on their feet as HBK walked out. Kevin Michaels took the mic and said,"HELLLO LADIES! Triple X, you don't deserve that belt you where around your waist. You never had what it takes in D-Kef and you don't have what it takes to be the World Champion." Triple X said,"I don't have what it takes!? I kicked your sorry ass out of D-Kef!" Kevin Michaels said,"Right now, I'm not in Moose Pack and I'm not in D-Kef but that doesn't matter because I can beat your ass anyday of the week."
ReyMooseJr vs. Meat Package
Meat Package walked out. "This should be a dandy. A contrast of styles here. Rey is a high flyer, while Meat Package is a powerful, technical wrestler. It will be interesting to see which style prevails." Steven said. Rey ran out and the crowd roared. "An enthusiastic greeting for ReyMooseJr, one of the 4 members of the Moosepack." Ken said. "It's 4 for now, but why has Rey been helping Rini?" Steven said. "It's obvious. Rey wants Rini's puppies in his moose house! Who doesn't?" Ken said. Rey jumped into the ring and showboated to the fans. Meat Package clubbed Rey from behind and the ref rang the bell. Meat Package gave Rey some vicious right hands and then threw him into the corner. Rey bounced out of the corner and Meat Package leveled him with a clothesline. "Meat has come out on fire here tonight." Steven said. Meat Package covered 1...2.Kick out. It's going to keep more than that to keep Rey down. Meat Package put a side headlock on Rey. Rey gave Meat Package a few elbows, got him in a headlock, then jumped in the corner and gave him a tornado DDT. "Wow, that's a hell of a way to break out of side headlock." Ken said. Rey crawled over after a few seconds and covered 1...2..Meat Package kicked out. "It was a nice move by Rey, but that was his first offensive move of the match, it's not going to get a 3 count." Steven said. Rey picked up Meat Package and threw him against the ropes. Rey tried a clothesline but Meat Package ducked, and then Meat Package knocked down Rey by plowing over him. "Rey can't stand against Meat Package's power. Rey has to get the pace of this match up. He works best in a high-paced match." Steven said. Meat Package gave Rey a russian leg sweep and covered 1...2..Kick out. "Meat Package is looking frustrated. He doesn't know what he can do to keep Rey down." Ken said. Meat Package threw Rey off the ropes and tried a spinebuster, but Rey countered it into a hurricanrana. Rey got up and tried to give Meat Package a Jumping DDT, but Meat Package flipped him and did a backbody drop. Meat Package signalled for the Meat Rack. "Oh man, this one is gonna be over." Ken said. "WAIT! Who's that!? IT'S PRETTY FLY! Pretty Fly Danny Smith has come out to help Rey!" Steven yelled. "You sound surprised, it was obvious that this was going to happen." Ken said. Pretty Fly got a chair and set it up in the corner. Meat Package tried to whip Rey into the corner opposite the chair corner, then Rey reversed it and tried to put Meat Package into the corner with the chair in it. Meat Package collided with the ref and the ref hit the chair and fell down. Pretty Fly grabbed the chair and went after Meat Package. Meat Package ducked Pretty Fly's chair shot and it hit Rey! "OH MY GOD! Pretty Fly just knocked Rey right out of his boots!" Steven screamed. Meat Package clotheslined Pretty Fly over the ropes and out of the ring. Meat Package put the Meat Rack on Rey and Rey submitted. "Pretty Fly cost Rey that match. Rey's not gonna be happy at all." Ken said. "Yeah...WAIT! Who's coming out now!?" Steven said. Kevin Hash ran out from the back and gave Meat Package the Hanging Powerbomb on the steel chair that Pretty Fly brought out. Hash ran back to the locker room. Rey was still down. Meat Package got up and grabbed a mic. "I'm challenging you, Kevin Hash! I want you in a Meat Locker Match TOMORROW at November Nightmare!" Meat Package said. "Wow, Meat Package issuing a challenge for November Nightmare to Kevin Hash. We'll get his answer later on tonight." Steven said. Meat Package left ringside with Rey still down. Rini came running out to see if Rey was okay. "Look, I told ya! Rini and Rey are together!" Ken said. "I still have my doubts..." Steven said. Rini helped Rey back to the locker room area.
Dashi Nokia vs. Renegade
Steven said,"This should be a great match. We have a new wrestler in UWM. He went to Japan to train as a wrestler and he's come back to prove what he can do. He is Dashi Nokia. Let's look at some of his Japanese wrestling." The Big TV came on and it showed Dashi Nokia fighting another wrestler. Ken said,"That's Dashi Nokia and the other guy is a wrestler known as Otoko Chikara. Dashi Nokia needed his career with this finisher. Let's watch." Dashi Nokia grabbed Otoko Chikara's arm, hit him in the throat, kneed him in the gut, slammed his palm into the back of Otoko Chikara's head, an pulled back on his arm. The Big TV went black. Steven said,"Dashi Nokia didn't let go and he broke Otoko Chikara's arm." Ken said,"AND NOW DASHI NOKIA'S IN UWM! OHHHHHH DADDY! BRING HIM OUT!" Dashi Nokia came out and walked to the ring. Ken said,"He doesn't seem too wild. Are you sure this is Dashi Nokia?" Renegade came out and ran into the ring. Renegade hit Dashi Nokia from behind and the ref rang the bell. Ken said,"I heard that Dashi Nokia had a girlfriend in Japan named Kuchi Onna." Steven said,"What the hell does that mean?" Renegade kept pounding on Dashi Nokia but he would not fall. Renegade poked him in the eye. Dashi Nokia let out a scream and struck Renegade in the throat. Ken said,"He screamed like a girl!" Steven said,"I believe that was a battle cry." Renegade grabbed his throat and fell backwards. As he fell, Dashi Nokia did a standing sidekick to his chin. The ref checked on Renegade who was now bleeding from the mouth. Renegade got up and lowblowed Dashi Nokia. He turned him around and set him up for the Showdown. Dashi Nokia grabbed his arm, kneed him in the gut, and did the Arm Buster. Ken said,"OHHHH DADDY! There's that move. Maybe this time, he'll let go." Renegade gave up right away but Dashi Nokia wouldn't let go. The ref yelled at Dashi Nokia and Dashi Nokia put him in the Arm Buster. Officals came out and got him off. Dashi Nokia wins.
Hardcore Howie vs. Kid Kaos
Hardcore Howie's music started playing. He came out with his hardcore belt and a mic. "Kid Gaos, get your ass out here so i can slap you around like a red headed step-child!" said Howie. "Hardcore really hates Kaos doesn't he?" said Ken. "I don't know, I just know that this is a ladder match and we're getting ready to see it. replied Steven. And Kid Kaos' music played. He got a mic and said, "You want a piece of me? Come and get it bitch." "And here we go, Kaos and Howie are hammering each other!" said Steven. Kaos gave a few blows to Howie's chest. He got Howie in the corner. Then he did a few shoulder charges. "What the hell is Kaos doing?" asked Ken. Kid Kaos got a chair and threw it in the ring. The ref was checking on Howie. He Hardcore Howie was starting to stand up holding the ropes. Kaos hit him with the chair. "Damn! Kaos hit Howie with impact." said Steven. "That's what happens when you step inside a UWM ring. Kaos tried to suplex Hardcore on the chair but Hardcore Howie but Hardcore reversed it. "Nice come back by Hardcore Howie!" said Steven. "Hardcore Howie is a superheavy weight you know. It is easy for guys like him to beat punks like Kid Kaos." said Ken. Both men are down. The ref counted...1..2..3..Hardcore Howie started to stand up he went outside to set up a table. He climbed back into the ring and rolled Kaos out and onto the table. "Whats Howie doing now?" asked Steven. "I don't know, he's a superheavy weight, who knows what he can do!" said Ken. Howie ran against the ropes a few times to get speed and he jumped over the ropes onto the table but Kaos rolled off. "Oh shit! Howie can fly but he needs better aim." said Ken. Kaos Stood up and went to get the ladder. He set it up in the middle of the ring. He started to climb but Hardcore Howie got a bat and slid into the ring. He pushed the ladder over and Kaos went flying and got hung over the ropes. "Oh god! He's out cold. The ladder and Kaos went flying outside of the ring. This is the strongest superheavy weight I've ever seen!" said Ken. "I wonder if Kaos' neck is ok, He got hung pretty hard." said Steven. Howie took the bat and swung it at Kaos as he stood up but he fell right back down and Howie hit the ref. The ref is out cold. "Howie needs to be more careful, first he misses trying to do a splash on Kaos from the ring and now he misses with the bat." said Steven. "Who's that? Oh Gosh! It's Candyman!" said Ken. Candyman came out with his chair! "Hey get away from this table!" said Steven. "Yeah Steven, chase those three back into the ring!" said Ken. Candyman started beating on Howie with the chair. Candyman and Kaos started to give blows to Hardcore Howie. "What are Candyman and Kid Kaos going to do next?" asked Ken. Candyman and Kid Kaos got ready for something. "NO! Not a powerbomb. Right into the Spanish announce table!" said Steven. They did a spiked powerbomb to Hardcore Howie right on the Spanish announce table. The ref was just getting up. Candyman ran into the crowd. Howie was out cold. Kid Kaos threw the ref into the ring and he got into the ring. He set up the ladder from inside the ring. He climbed to the top....."Why doesn't he just get the belt and leave?" asked Steven. "Oh god! Its the Mosh Dive on the ladder from inside the ring onto Hardcore Howie outside of the ring!" said Ken. Kaos slid into the ring and climbed up the ladder and grabbed the hardcore belt. "Kid Kaos wins! What an upset for Howie!" said Steven.
Crispy/The Rage Backstage
Ken said,"Let's go to the back." Crispy was talking with The Rage. Crispy said,"I'm all better now and I'm ready to wrestle again for The Rage." Sin said,"I never liked you and you will not be on my team." Crispy said,"What!? Come on. You can't have a group with just three people." Sin said,"We have more." Crispy said,"More? Who do you have?" Sin said,"Wouldn't you like to know." Pane came from behind and clotheslined Crispy. The Rage beat on Crispy till Officals stopped it.
Tygress vs. Ravishing Regal Rini
"OH DADDY! This is going to be a great match! EVENING GOWNS!" Ken screamed. "Yeah, I think so too, but maybe not for the same reason you think so..." Steven said. Rini ran out and the crowd cheered. "I'm in PUPPY LOVE!" Ken yelled. "Do you ever think about anything besides puppies!?" Steven said. "Is there anything else to think about?" Ken said. Steven sighed. Tygress ran out and the crowd cheered again. "I don't think the crowd cares who wins this match, they're just happy with the PUPPIES!" Ken yelled. "I'm not sure Tygress is 100% still." Steven said. "Why? Did Kef-Pac get to her again last night? Oh wait, he's a cripple, never mind." Ken said. Steven sighed again and the ref rang the bell. Tygress ran and dove at Rini and started pounding her. "I don't know what you would call that...An inverted spear?" Steven said. "I don't know either, but she can pounce on me anytime! OH DADDY! I'd make that tiger purr!" Ken said. "You know what? You're worse than Derek sometimes!" Steven said. "Thank you." Ken said. "I didn't mean it as a compliment...Oh well." Steven said. Tygress picked up Rini and gave her a suplex. Tygress bounced off the ropes, jumped over Rini on the mat, jumped on the 2nd rope, and did a backflip onto Rini. "Wow, nice moonsault kind of maneuver by Tygress." Steven said. Tygress tried to tear off Rini's evening gown, but Rini raked Tygress's eyes. "Too early to end the match. We haven't seen enough puppies yet!" Ken said. Rini pounded away on Tygress. Rini bashed Tygress head against the turnbuckle. Rini got up on the 2nd rope and started punching Tygress. The crowd counted along with the punches. The crowd got up to 6, and then Tygress picked up Rini and powerbombed her out of the corner. Tygress got up and climbed to the top turnbuckle. "Tygress is going for the Tyger Pounce." Steven said. "No, ya think!?" Ken said. Rini got up and picked Tygress up off the ropes. Rini powerslammed her to the mat. Womankind came running out from the back. Womankind spun Rini around and gave her a double arm DDT. Womankind jumped outside the ring. Tygress tore off Rini's gown and won the match. Tygress went backstage. Womankind jumped back in the ring and started pounding on Rini. Womankind grabbed a mic. "You see what I'm talking about!? This WHORE can't wrestle in any matches that don't involve evening gowns or showing her body off in any way!" Womankind yelled. Womankind went up to Rini. "Hey don't worry about it, just go out on the streets again tonight, I'm sure you'll feel better after some guy gives you his change, YOU TWO BIT HOOKER!" Womankind stomped Rini. Officials came out from the back and restrained Womankind. Rey came out and quickly took Rini backstage to help her. "Hmm...This gets weirder and weirder all the time..." Steven said. "HEY! LOOK WHERE REY'S GRABBING RINI!" Ken screamed. "Oh he is not you pervert! I think you had 24 beers too many before you came tonight..." Steven said. "Anyways, let's get to our next match."
Adam Blackman vs. EdgE666
EdgE666 walked out to a lot of cheers. "The crowd really loves this EdgE666" Steven said. Then Adam Blackmans music hit and he walked out to boos. "I still hate this guy for what he did to Kef-Pac" Steven said. Ken said, "Yeah, but this match is for the Intercontinental Belt, and Adam deserves it!" The ref rang the bell and the match began. EdgE666 got at Blackman quickly with a high leg clothesline, and screamed at him to get up. "EdgE seems enthusiastic about this match tonight" Ken said. EdgE666 knocked Blackman right back down with a clothesline. As Adam got up, EdgE666 tried a big punch but Blackman ducked under it and delivered some big punches to the gut, and bounced EdgE666 off the ropes, and when he got back did a baseball slide to knock down EdgE. As EdgE666 recovered, The Illegal Weapon taunted the crowd. He said, "Look at my power. I almost killed Kef-Pac, and look at EdgE! Hahaha!" Steven said, "What a bastard". Meanwhile, EdgE666 came up from behind delivering sharp blows to the neck and back of Blackman. Then he signalled for a DownwardMoose. "Oh here's the DownwardMoose, I love this move" said Ken. He hit it, and then someone came from backstage. "Wait a minute, that's not just sick, that's not just revolting, that's JUSTIN EDIBLE!" said Ken. As Adam distracted the ref, Justin Edible hit the weakened EdgE666 with a Sky High, then ran backstage. "What a coward" said Steven. Adam Blackman pinned EdgE666. 1....2..KICKOUT. "2 and 3/4!!!" screamed Ken. EdgE666 started to regain momentum, delivering punches and kicks to Blackman, and whips him into the corner. Then he signals for his new finisher, The Cutting Edge. "He changed his finisher name to the Cutting Edge instead of Moose Cutter" said Ken. He hit the Cutting Edge from the top rope and pinned Adam. 1....2....3! The ref awards EdgE666 the IC Belt as he raises it proudly and Justin Edible comes out to aid Blackman.
Adam Blackman Backstage
Ken said,"Let's go to the back again." Adam Blackman was tossing things around in his locker room. Justin Edible said,"Come on. You couldn't keep the belt forever." Adam said,"I know but I shouldn't have lost it to EdgE666. He's a wimp. This is your fault." Justin said,"My fault!? No way!" They continue to argue.
Triple X vs. Kevin Michaels
"This is the Main Event,"said Steven. Ken said,"What a match! This was signed earlier. Triple X verses Kevin Michaels for the World Championship!"Kevin Michaels music came on and he walked out. The crowd cheered. Triple X came out next and the crowd boo'ed and then, cheered as he threw porn into the crowd. As Triple X came to the ring, HBK hit him with a moonsault off the topropes. HBK threw him into the ring and rolled in. The ref rang the bell. Kevin stomped on Triple X until the ref told him to stop. Triple X got up and clotheslined Kevin. Triple X held him down and punched his face over and over. Kevin rolled over and started punching Triple X. Triple X poked him in the eyes and knocked him off. Triple X set him up for the Ass Slam but Kevin countered into a back bodydrop. He pinned him. The ref counted 1..2 and Triple X kicked out. Ken said,"Look! It's RoadFoxx!" RoadFoxx ran down and got on the apron. The ref saw him and went over to try to get him off. Kevin Michaels climbed the toprope. Triple X slowly got up and saw RoadFoxx. Triple X went over and yelled at RoadFoxx. When he turned around, Kevin Michaels hit him with the Sweet & Sour Chin Music. Steven said,"Over there! Tygress is coming down here!" Kevin pinned Triple X. As RoadFoxx yelled at the ref to turn around, Tygress came from behind and lowblowed him. Steven said,"Kevin Michaels had this thing won!" The ref turned around, counted 1..2.., and Triple X kicked out. Steven said,"Damnit!" Tygress knocked RoadFoxx down and climbed the turnbuckle. Kevin Michaels picked up Triple X but Triple X went elbowed him in the gut and set him up for the SexDegree. He hooked the arms, looked up, and saw Tygress flying at him. Tygress hit him with the Tyger Pounce. The ref called for the bell. Ken said,"Well, Triple X won." Tygress beat on Triple X. Tygress got up, turned around, and got Sweet & Sour Chin Music from HBK. RoadFoxx got into the ring attacked Kevin from behind. Steven said,"It's everyone verses everyone!"
The Rage in the Entrance Area
The lights went out and when they came back on, Sin, Pane, and Adam Blackman were standing at the entrance. Sin said,"Degeneration-Kef..it's so sad what you've become. So very sad. I would cry if I gave a rat's ass. Tygress, how's the neck? Is it better? Well, let's bring out our first new member." Diamond Dallas Tracy came out. Sin said,"That's right. I had it all planned out. She meant to put you out for awhile and soon, she'll do it again! Kevin Michaels, how's the head? I know what you're thinking and it's true. Let's bring out the other two newest members." The Rogues came out. Sin continued,"You see it now. The Rage destroyed D-Kef. No one can stop us and we will be a factor at November Nightmare."