Triple X/Timothy Jones Backstage
"Welcome to another UWM Saturday Night. OH DADDY! What a night we have for you! I am the exciting Ken and next to me is the always boring Steven,"said Ken. Steven said,"Thanks...let's go to the back." Camera shows Triple X talking with Timothy Jones, owner of UWM. Triple X said,"I can beat anyone of these losers' asses. I demand a World Title shot!" Mr. Jones said,"You demand? You shouldn't even have that TV Title of yours and you DEMAND a World Title shot." Triple X said,"I don't give a shit about this belt!" He threw the TV Belt on the floor. He continued,"Take it and give me my damn title shot." Timothy Jones said,"You've got it! Just don't come back to me when you lose. Now, I must find someone who can be the TV Champion." Triple X left and Timothy went back to his work.
KidMike vs. Crowd Member
"Well this match is a given answer, Kidmike vs The Brain" said Ken. Kidmike came out and the crowd chanted "YOU SUCK". "Do you smell what the Brain is thinkin'?", the Brain came out, but not in his normal wrestling attire. Brain had mic in hand, "Kidmike, you.." nugget chant starts, "you suck. The Brain is insulted that Timothy Jones has booked a match between us, so unfortunatly since the Brain lost his sunglasses he will not be wrestling, however, I have found a replacement. The crowd member that has been stalking me for weeks now is here, I can smell his candyass, so he should get his ass in the ring, so I can watch him get his ass kicked!" The crowd member jumped the railing grabbed the mike but before he could say anything Kidmike jumped over the ropes and hit a suicide plancha onto the crowd member. "Impressive" said Steven. "Nope he'll lose" said Ken, "He tries that splash all the time and misses." Kidmike picked crowd member up and threw him into the steel steps. "Oooo" said Steven. Kidmike threw the crowd member into the ring and stomped him. Kidmike bounced off the ropes and hit a elbow drop. The crowd member gets up and Kidmike hits a standing dropkick which knocks the crowd member out of the ring. The Brain was still standing at the top of the ramp watching. Kidmike climbed the ropes and went to do a double-axe handle but the crowd member side-stepped and threw Kidmike into the steel rail. "I think I saw one of Kidmikes teeth fly off"said Ken. Crowd member rolled Kidmike into the ring and did a fist drop. Crowd member picked Kidmike up and threw him into the ropes but Kidmike slid under the ropes and stood on the outer part of the ring , Crowd member ran at Kidmike but Kidmike ducked and punched crowd member, Kidmike sprung onto the toprope and did a spin kick. "What a spring board spin kick" said Steven. Kidmike covers, 1,2, kickout. "OH MY GOD!!! he almost won!!!" screamed Ken. Kidmike went to pick up crowd member but he raked Kidmikes eyes and set him up for an inverted piledriver. But Kidmike squirmed free pushed crowd member away and did a drop kick. Crowd member stumbled into corner and Kid mike punched him a few times and ran to the other corner. "See if he can hit this splash for once" said Ken. Kidmike ran across the ring and jumped, the crowd member moved and Kidmike hit the corner. Crowd member set Kidmike up for the inverted piledriver, and connected this time. Crowd member covers, 1,2,3. "See, what did I tell you, he always misses that splash" said Ken. Crowd member was celebrating when Brain says "You think you impress the Brain after a win over KidMike? Well the Brain would be more impressed if you could pull your finger out of your ass, IF YA SMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLELELELELELLLL, what the Brain...., is thinkin'.
RoadFoxx/Timothy Jones Backstage
Steven said,"Let's go to the back with Timothy Jones again." RoadFoxx and Mr. Jones were talking. RoadFoxx said,"Come on, Tim. I will be the greatest TV Champion there ever was. Think of the ratings! The F-O-Double X with the T to the V Belt just goes together." Mr. Jones said,"I think I'm gonna have a tournament but I will let you be in it." RoadFoxx said,"I'm gonna win that belt and if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya!"
Pretty Fly Danny Smith vs. Jerkicho
"This will be Pretty Fly Danny Smith's second match here in UWM, after an impressive debut victory last week." Steven said. "This guy for some weird reason thinks Rey is the greatest. Now I'll give credit where credit is due, Rey is an excellent wrestler but the greatest? I don't think so!" Ken said. Danny entered the ring and grabbed a mic. "Now, I am ALL THAT, but there is one guy who has the potato chips too." Danny said. "What the hell is he talking about!?" Ken said. Danny continued, "Rey is the only guy in the whole UWM organization that could beat me, Pretty Fly Danny Smith." Danny did a dance after his speech. "Well this guy can talk crap but can he back it up?" Ken said. The ref rang the bell and Danny went right after Jerkicho. Danny punched Jerkicho a few times, but then Jerkicho racked his eyes. "Look at this, we're not even 10 seconds into the match and Jerkicho is already cheating." Steven said. "Yeah I know ya gotta love his style, win at all costs." Ken said. "Actually, I think it's more of a cheat to win style." Steven said. "Yeah but your opinion doesn't matter you're not cool like me." Ken said. Jerkicho picked up Pretty Fly and tried a suplex, but Danny reversed it. Danny got up and started dancing around the ring. "What is he doing? He should be taking advantage of this situation right now." Steven said. Danny picked up Jerkicho and gave him a piledriver. Danny covered 1...2..Jerkicho got a shoulder up. Jerkicho lowblowed Danny as he was getting up. Jerkicho started choking Danny and the ref counted to 4, then Jerkicho broke the hold. "Jerkicho's smart, he cheats as much as he can but makes sure he doesn't get disqualified." Steven said. "Anyone who teams up with The Brain can't be that smart." Ken said. Jerkicho threw Danny off the ropes, but Danny bounced back and plowed over Jerkicho. Danny whipped Jerkicho into the corner and followed up with a splash. Danny grabbed Jerkicho and gave him the Wannabe Drop. The ref counted 1...2...3! Pretty Fly Danny Smith won another impressive victory.
Rogues vs. Studly Boyz
Steven said,"This is going to be a great match. The Rogues verses a new group, The Studly Boyz. Here comes Pa Pa Ray and D-Buff." The Studly Boyz came out and got into the ring. Pa Pa Ray said,"We are the St..St..St.." D-Buff smacked him in the back of the head. He continued,"Studly Boyz!" Steven said,"Pa Pa Ray has a speech impediment and he doesn't like to be made fun of." D-Buff grabbed the mic from him and said,"Everyone must follow the 3 Studly Commandments. Number 1: Thou shall not have any other gods before us. Number 2: Thou shall not create any graven images of us unless sold at a high price. Number 3: Thou shall not commit adultery unless it's with THE STUDLY BOYZ!" The Rogues came out and ran into the ring. The Studly's stomped on them and the bell sounded. D-Buff knocked Jesse out of the ring. Then, The Studly's doubleteamed Lukas with a double powerbomb. They whiped Lukas to the ropes and went for a clothesline. Lukas ducked and came back with a cross body block. He tossed D-Buff out and stomped on Pa Pa Ray. D-Buff got a chair and started beating on Jesse on the outside. The ref saw it and called for the bell. Steven said,"That was a short match. The Rogues win by DQ." Ken laughed,"The Studly's speech lasted longer than the match!" The Studly's started beating on the ref as The Rogues left.
Al Fro Interview
Ken said,"Let's go to the back where James is interviewing Al Fro." Al Fro said,"I don't have anything to say but Omsok wants to say something." He put Omsok to his ear. He continued,"Omsok wants his own locker room. He says he's a Title Holder and he deserves his own locker room." James said,"It's a...hamster." Al Fro said,"He's not just a hamster. He's an adventure!" Al Fro fell over. Pa Pa Ray hit him with a trash can. D-Buff and him started stomping on him. Pa Pa Ray said,"We want a tag title shot because we are the St..St..St." D-Buff smacks him in the back of the head. Pa Pa Ray yells,"STUDLY BOYZ!"
Sexy Della vs. Ravishing Regal Rini
Rini walked out to the ring first. "Rini has been having a lot of trouble with Womankind lately." Steven said. "I don't care who wins this match because since there's puppies, EVERYONE'S A WINNER!" Ken yelled. Sexy Della walked out and Rini attacked her right away. Rini gave her a few knees to the mid-section, and then body slammed her to the mat. "Rini has come out on fire. She must still be mad at Womankind." Steven said. Rini went over to Della, but Della took out Rini's knees. Della pounced on Rini and gave her a few right hands to the face. Della picked up Rini and threw her into the corner. Della followed up with a splash in the corner. "Wow, a nice big splash by Della." Steven said. "She can splash me anytime!" Ken said. "Oh be quiet and announce the match will you!?" Steven said. Della whipped Rini off the ropes, but Rini ducked Della's clothesline when she bounced back. Della tried to give her a clothesline when she bounced off the ropes on the opposite side, but Rini ducked again. Rini bounced off the other side and gave Della a cross-body splash into a cover 1...2...Della managed to kick out. "Lots of bouncing there." Steven said. "I couldn't agree more Steven!" Ken said. "No, not that! I meant bouncing off the ropes! Not what you think..." Steven said. "Sure ya did Steven, sure ya did." Ken said. "Whatever...Let's just get back to the match, okay?" Steven said. "Yeah you dog, you wouldn't want to miss seeing those puppies bounce around again huh?" Ken said. "Shut up!" Steven said. Della got up and tried to whip Rini into the corner, but Rini reversed it and sent Della into the opposite corner. Della knocked over the ref as she went into the turnbuckle. Rini picked up Della and gave her a gorilla press slam. Rini signalled for her Sidewalk Slam, and then Womankind came running out from the back. Womankind hit Rini in the back of the head with a steel chair. "My God! Rini just got smashed right in the back of the head with that steel chair! This is getting very personal between Rini and Womankind now!" Steven said. Della rolled over and covered Rini. The ref crawled over and counted 1...2...3! Della won thanks to interference from Womankind. Womankind went right back to Rini and tried to tear her shirt off. More officials came from the back to restrain Womankind. Womankind grabbed a mic and said, "I'm the best wrestler UWM has to offer! I should be in every match! Who wants to see these 2 bounce around the ring when you could actually see some wrestling when I'm in the ring!?" The crowd started boo'ing Womankind. "I don't care if you don't like me! That's your problem! I don't need you fans, I've gotten here all by myself!" Womankind said. Womankind clubbed Rini with the mic and continued to beat on her. Steven said,"Womankind's not stopping. She's going to destroy Rini." Womankind busted Rini wideopen. Womankind said,"Not so pretty now!" Ken said,"Wait! It's ReyMooseJr!" ReyMooseJr ran into the ring and Womankind slid out. He helped Rini up and carried her to the back.
Adam Blackman vs. Hardcore Howie
"This match is for the Hardcore title" said Steven. "OHHHHHH DADDY!!!" yelled Ken. Hardcore Howie came out first and grabbed the mic. "Blackman, I'm gonna beat your ass all over the place cause I am the top superheavyweight in the company and take back my hardcore title." Blackman charged from the back, slid in the ring, and the two began slugging it out. Blackman threw five punches and Howie was staggering, Blackman bounced off the ropes and hit a dropkick. Howie didn't go down and Blackman bounced off the ropes again but Howie leapfrogged and Blackman bounced off the ropes and Howie hit a dropkick. "Wow, what a dropkick" said Steven. Howie ran to the back and grabbed a dumpster full of weapons. Howie brought them to ringside. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHH DDDAAADDDYY, now this is getting hardcore" said Ken. Howie took out a steel chair and a garbage can, Howie tossed them into the ring and rolled in. Blackman got up slowly and Howie picked up the steel chair and hit Blackman right in the face. "Ouch" said Steven. Blackman got up very slowly and Howie went to hit him again but Blackman moved and hit a sidekick into the chair and the chair hit howie in the face. Blackman covers, 1,2,kickout. Blackman picked the garbage can up and put over Howies head. Blackman picked up the chair and nailed the garbage can with the chair. "He's probably deaf know" said Ken. Blackman went out side and ran to the back. "Wheres he going?" said Steven. Blackman came back with his kendo stick. Blackman slid into the ring and hit Howie with the kendo stick in the back. "You could here that smack all over the arena" said Steven. Blackman went to hit Howie again but the ref stopped him. Blackman was mad and hit the ref over the head. The ref was out cold. Blackman turned around and Howie hit a low blow. Howie grabbed the kendo stick and cracked it over Blackmans head. "It cracked in half over his head!!!" yelled Ken. Howie covers, "Theres no ref!" said Steven. Howie was frustrated and threw the kendo stick away and picked up the steel chair. Howie waited for Blackman to get in his knees, and hit Blackman in the back with the steelchair. "HOLY MOLY, theres an imprint of the chair on his back" said Ken. Howie grabbed the garbage can and put it on Blackmans head. Howie jumped and stomped it. Blackman was busted open. Howie signalled for the pumphandle gutbuster and picked Blackman up. But Blackman reversed around and hit the DVD. "Its over!! Cover him Adam cover him!" screamed Steven. Blackman used what he had left and couldn't make the cover. The ref was regaining his focus and seen what had happened and began to count, 1,2,3,4,5,6 and Blackman put his hand over Howies chest 1,2, NO!! Howie kicked out. Blackman got up and went out side and grabbed a table, slid it into the ring, and set it up. Blackman picked Howie up and set him up for the DVD again. But Howie slipped out and kicked Blackman in the back and set him up for the pumphandle gutbuster. Howie hit his move through the table. "OHHHHHHH DADDY!" Howie climbed the ropes, bleeding through the mouth from the kendo stick shot in the back/ribs and waited for Blackman to get up. "This is it if he hits the bulldogg its over. Blackman got up slowly and Howie jumped off the top, and connected with the bulldogg onto a chair. Howie covers, 1,2,3. "New champion!! New champion!!" yelled Steve. "Howie got up grabbed the hardcore title and held it in the air.
Pane vs. Blackdust
Pane came from the back still favoring his back. "Pane is still not 100% after the chokeslam off the top of the cage" said Steven. Blackdust cam out with blackdust falling from the ceiling. Blackdust climbed in the ring and went right on the attack to Panes back. Blackdust kept punching Pane in the back until Pane fell to his knees, then Blackdust bounced off the ropes and flying fore-armed Pane in the back. "Ouch, Pane must be hurting bad." said Ken. Pane rose to his feet and Blackdust went to shoulder block Pane but Pane didn't budge. Blackdust tried it again but he ran right into a huge foot in the mouth by Pane. Pane picked Blackdust up and did a side slam. Pane picked Blackdust up and bodyslammed him. Pane bounced off the ropes and tried a elbow drop but missed. Blackdust pulled some black powder from his tights and threw it over Panes arm and shoulder. Pane started itching like crazy. "Its itching powder" said Ken. Pane couldn't stop scratching. Blackdust bounced off the ropes and ran into Panes open hand. Pane picked Blackdust up and hit a major chokeslam. But instead of covering Pane scratched his arm. Blackdust recoverd after about 20 seconds and Pane grabbed him again and chokeslammed him. "Poor Blackdust, he can't catch a break" said Steven. Pane screamed and picked Blackdust up and hit the superpowerbomb. "Goodnight" said Ken. Pane still didn't cover. Blackdust layed motionless for a minute and twitched his body. Pane grabbed Blackdust and superpowerbombed him again. But this time Pane hurt his back and fell forward onto Blackdust. Pane covers 1,2,3. Pane wins, still scratching his arm.
Moose Pack Backstage
Ken said,"Let's go to the back with the Moose Pack. Hey, that rhymes." Macho Moose, EdgE666, Big Moose, and ReyMooseJr were standing in their locker room. EdgE666 said,"Jones just can't make you wrestle. You're the champion." Big Moose said,"I say we pay Mr. Jones a visit." Macho Moose said,"That would be too sweet but I think I better take this match. He's just some loser from the Union of Wimpy Men." ReyMooseJr said,"Don't matter but the Pack got yo back." Macho Moose said,"I don't need anyone's help. This match will last 2 minutes."
Triple X vs. Macho Moose
Steven said,"This is the Main Event for the World Champion Belt. This should be a great match." Triple X came out and threw porn into the crowd. He got into the ring and said,"Helllo ladies. I have a match with Macho Moose but right now, I wanna talk about the RoadFag. You see ladies, The Big Xbowski stars in movies like Who's your Big Daddy, The 69th Sense, and the always popular, Lady and the Pimp. However, The RoadFag stars in movies like The Guy who shagged me, Bruce of the Jungle, and Macho Moose's favorite, Men in Back." The crowd at that comment and Moose Pack's music started. Macho Moose came out with a mic. He said,"You can say what you say but you're not gonna get my belt. OHHHH YEAH!" Macho Moose got into the ring and the bell rang. Triple X ran at Macho Moose and got a clothesline. Steven said,"Macho Moose has been around longer than Triple X has." Macho Moose picked him up and whipped him into the turnbuckle. Macho Moose ran at him and Triple X elbowed him in the face. Macho Moose stumbled back and Triple X ran at him with a clothesline. Triple X stomped on Macho till the ref got him off. Triple X pushed him away. He grabbed Macho's legs, spread them, jumped up, and did a knee drop to his crotch. The ref yelled at Triple X. Ken said,"If he does that again, the ref may call the match off." Macho Moose slowly got up. Triple X pushed the ref aside and ran at Macho Moose. Macho Moose tripped him and did a boston crab on him. Triple X wouldn't give up and grabbed the ropes. Macho broke the hold and picked Triple X up. Triple X bodyslammed Macho Moose and made a quick pin. The ref counted 1.. and a kick out. Steven said,"Here comes RoadFoxx!" RoadFoxx got on the apron and yelled at Triple X. Triple X got out of the ring and pulled out something from under the ring. He held it up in the air. Ken said,"THAT'S A DILDO!" RoadFoxx screamed at the ref to turn around. Steven said,"Now, RoadFoxx is helping Triple X. I don't think he wanted to do that." Macho Moose slowly got up. Triple X shoved the dildo in his pants. Macho Moose let out a scream and shook all over. Triple X grabbed him and put the Sexdegree on him. Triple X ran over and knocked RoadFoxx off the apron. He pinned Macho Moose. The ref counted 1..2..3. Triple X is the new World Champion. Ken said,"What an upset!"
Kef-Pac/RoadFoxx/Triple X in the Ring
RoadFoxx slid into the ring. Him and Triple X stood face-to-face. Then, D-Kef's music started playing. Kef-Pac came out in a wheelchair. The crowd was on their feet chanting, "Kef-Pac." Officals helped Kef-Pac into the ring. Kef-Pac wheeled himself in front of Triple X and RoadFoxx stood by him. Kef-Pac started to say something but Triple X said,"I don't care why you're here. All I know is that I'm the World Champion and that's more than you ever got in UWM." Kef-Pac said,"I don't care if you're the TV Champion. I don't care if you're the World Champion. You're still the biggest asshole that ever came to UWM." Triple X said,"You better watch what you say." Kef-Pac said,"Or what? You'll hit me in the head and throw me down the stairs like you did Kevin." Triple X said,"I didn't do that!" "We did,"came over the speakers. The Rogues came on the Big TV. Lukas said,"That's right. We did. Recognize this." He held up a metal baseball bat with a blood stain on it. Jesse said,"Don't you feel like morons. It wasn't Triple X. HAHA! We would have had a Tag Team Title shot if it wasn't for HBK. Paybacks a bitch and so are you." The screen went black. Kef-Pac silently said,"I'm sorry.." RoadFoxx put his hand out. Triple X shook it. The crowd roared. Then, Triple X pulled RoadFoxx in and hit him with the belt. Steven said,"THAT BASTARD!" Triple X threw the belt on the ground, grabbed Kef-Pac out of his wheelchair, and set him up for the SexDegree. Ken said,"He's gonna SexDegree him in the belt. Kef-Pac can't take that with his neck and spine problems!" Triple X jumped up and SexDegree him on the World Championship Belt. Steven said,"He's heartless." Triple X said,"Guess you finally got a piece of the belt, Kef-Pac." Steven said,"This isn't good. Kef-Pac's not moving. His career is over." Triple X walked away with the belt as officals tried to help Kef-Pac.