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Triple X in the Ring
Steven said,"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night." Ken said,"Triple X is on his way out. He's the new Tag Team Champion, you know. He has both belts." Triple X's music hit and he walked out with a Tag Title in each hand. He got into the ring, tossed the belts on floor, and grabbed a mic. He said,"PD Derek, you think you screwed me. You screwed yourself. You see, I am the Tag Team Champion. Not only that, I'm a former Intercontinental, Television, and World Champion. This is the Union of Wrestling Masters but not everyone is a master. I am the only master. I had all the belts that I needed. You probably never heard of it. That's because Jones kept it a secret until the first wrestler did it. I am that wrestler. I am a master. I get a 100,000 dollar raise. Now, come out here, Derek and face me." Triple X waited and PD Derek's music started. Derek came out with a mic and said,"Triple X, you are stupid. That Master's crap was Jones's idea. This is my UWM. You'll be a master when you get the Hardcore and.....Women's Title!" Triple X said,"You just don't want to admit that I beat your plan. I'm unstoppable." PD Derek said,"Whatever you wanna think but all I know is, you better get ready because you have to defend those belts against Sin and Pane!" The crowd roared. Triple X said,"I beat the former champs. I can beat them. Remember, I AM UWM! Nothing can stop me."
Hardcore Howie vs. Big Moose
Steven said,"Here's the first match of the night. It's a tournament qualifying match. It's Hardcore Howie verses Big Moose." Hardcore Howie came out first and Big Moose came out next. They got into the ring and the bell rang. Big Moose missed a clothesline and clotheslined him but Big Moose did not go down. Big Moose grabbed Howie by the throat and threw him into the corner. Then, Big Moose choked him with his boot. The referee got Big Moose off and Big Moose began yelling at him. Howie got out of the ring and grabbed a chair just as ReyMooseJr came out. Howie got back into the ring and was about to hit Big Moose but Rey stopped him. Rey ducked Big Moose into the ref. Rey took the chair and slid out of the ring. The ref got up and called for the bell. Ken laughed and said,"That stupid ref. He thinks Big Moose hit him." Steven said,"Hardcore Howie advances in the tournament." Big Moose grabbed Howie by his throat but let go after he saw Rey. Big Moose got out of the ring and Rey taunted him with the chair. Big Moose slowly walked towards. Out of nowhere, Howie came from the top rope with a clothesline to Big Moose. Ken screamed,"OHHHHHH DADDY!" Officials came out and stopped Rey and Howie from attacking Big Moose.
Showtime Backstage
The camera fades backstage and spots Showtime walking
down a hallway. Charisma comes around the corner and
the two bump into each other. Charisma-" What the hell
is up with you lately Shawn, why are you acting like
an ass?" Showtime-" Get the fuck out of my way DJ, or
worse will happen than last week." Charisma-" Fuck you
(and walks away). As Charisma walks away Showtime
grabs a convienent chair and whacks Charisma in the
back of the head. Showtime-" No fuck you, DJ!"
Showtime vs. Jerkicho
The camera goes to the ring. A loud boom as Jerkicho’s
music comes on. He comes out
and walks to the ring and grabs a microphone. Jerkicho
“ I don’t know what the hell is up
with you Showtime, but you just try some of that
psycho bullshit with me, and see what
kind of ass whooping I put on you. I plan on kicking
your ass all around this ring tonight, I
will give you a beating like you NEVER EVVVVVERRRRR
felt in your pathetic life!”
ITTSSS SHOWTIME!!!!!!! Showtime’s music doesn’t even
get chance to come on,
because he’s already in the ring exchanging blows with
Jerkicho. The two roll around the
ring for a while, then Charisma’s music starts.
Jerkicho and Showtime stop fighting to
listen. Charisma comes out, Charisma “ Whaooo there
guys, hold on!!! Before you two
get attached, I’ve got some breaking news. It seems
that there has been a change in
tonights match! Mr. Derek told me backstage that there
was going to be a special guest
referee for this match!!!! I asked him who?” Charisma
pauses to take off his shirt revealing
an officials shirt underneath. Charisma “ Now ring
that fucking bell!!!!!!!” Jerkicho attacks
Showtime from behind. He throws Showtime in the corner
and gives him three powerful
chops and whips him onto the other corner. He runs and
delivers a splash that sends
Showtime to the ground. Jerkicho jumps up to the top
rope and executes a missile
dropkick to the chin of Showtime just as he gets back
to his feet. Steven “ Oh my god,
Jerkicho has full control of this one!!” . Jerkicho
then drags Showtime to the ropes and
starts to choke him. Charisma looks the other way.
Steven “ That’s illegal, Charisma better
stop him!!!” After choking him Jerkicho tosses
Showtime into the ropes and goes for a
clothesline. He connects and goes for the pin.
Charisma gives a fast count, but Showtime
kicks out at 2. Jerkicho picks Showtime up and sets
him up for a powerbomb, but
Showtime reverses in mid air and turns it into
facedriver. Showtime gets his second wind
and attacks Jerkicho. Steven “ Don’t count Showtime
out yet!” Showtime piledrives
Jerkicho and then follows it with 3 leg drops. He
picks Jerkicho up and gives him a
brainbuster suplex. Steven “ Showtime has quite an
arsenal of moves!” Showtime helps up
Jerkicho and then tosses him out of the ring. He rams
Jerkicho into the steel steps and then
throws him into the security rail. Charisma tells
Showtime to take it back the ring.
Showtime throws Jerkicho back in the ring and soon
follows. In the ring Showtime whips
Jerkicho into the ropes and delivers a cross body into
pin. Charisma gives a slow count
1.......2, and Jerkicho kicks out. Showtime then
tosses Jerkicho in the corner and begins to
choke him with his foot. Charisma quickly comes over
and breaks the hold. Showtime gets
pissed and gets in Charisma’s face. They exchange
words and push each other. Jerkicho
recovers and sneaks up behind Showtime and low blows
him. Jerkicho then gives
Showtime a powerbomb and straps on the Lion Two-Timer.
Jerkicho stretches it back as
far as he can, but Showtime crawls his way over and
barely grabs a rope. Charisma and
Jerkicho both get pissed and attack Showtime. They
stomp on his ass for a good 3
minutes. Then Jerkicho goes out and grabs a chair. He
comes back in and Charisma grabs
Showtime. Jerkicho swings, Showtime ducks in the nick
of time and Jerkicho smacks
Charisma in the head. He lays out cold. Jerkicho goes
to hit Showtime but he superkicks
the chair back into his face. Showtime then grabs and
sets Jerkicho up for his finisher the
G-Spot, a reverse implant ddt. He connect and the
extra ref counts the 3 for the win!!
Steven “ Showtime went against all the odds and came
out on top, what a wrestler!! He is
going to go far in this fed!!” As soon as Showtime
gets up to raise his hand, PD Derek
comes out and attacks from behind. All three men then
attack. Derek sets up a chair and
Sex-Factors Showtime right on it leaving him in a pool
of his own blood. The camera
fades as they attack him some more.
Interview with Prodigy
James:" First off Prodigy I want to start this
interview by asking you a pretty straight forward
question. Who do you think personally should have the
title, in all honestly, besides your self?"
Prodigy:" Well there is no question about it I should
have it, but anyone besides me? I think that Triple X
should have it, I mean I hate the guys guts, but
Kef-Pac definately doesn't deserve it. Kef-Pac
shouldn't even be in the title race!"
James:" Who do you think are some of the main
contenders for the title and about the tournament?"
Prodigy:" I think its gonna come down to me and Triple
X!"
James:" What do you think about some of the new talent
here?"
Prodigy:" I think the UWM has done a good job in
bringing some of the new talent in, some of theses
guys are good. I think they will go along way here as
long as they don't cross my path!"
James:" Speaking of new talent, what do you think of
Showtime, he's made his presence felt here in the last
few weeks?"
Prodigy:" He has made his presence felt here! I think
also he got the shaft from his supposed friend Derek!
But you see where Showtime screwed up is where he
fucked with my match. He crossed my path, and now he
will have to pay!"
James:" Now onto your problem with Macho Moose?"
Prodigy:" Heh!! Macho if your listening, just because
I helped your sorry ass last week! Don't get your
panties in a bunch, because I am counting the days
until I get to kick your ass! I don't like you and I
never will!"
Prodigy burst out of the room.
James:" Sesitive topic! Well anyway back to you Steven!"
ReyMooseJr vs. Justin Edible
ReyMooseJr came out with Ravishing Royal Rini. The crowd roared. Steven said,"The fans love this pair." Ken said,"I love that pair too." Steven said,"I didn't mean those!" They got into the ring. Ken said,"This is another Triple X Ass Kicking Tournament Qualifying match." Justin Edible came out next and the crowd went wild. Justin slid into the ring and extended his hand to Rey. Steven said,"There's a lot of respect between these two men. They both stand strong against the Foundation." Rini left the ring and the bell rang. Justin Edible quickly kicked away at Rey until he hit the mat. Justin went for a Figure Four but Rey pushed him away. Rey got up and Justin went for the Sky High but Rey dropkicked him away. Justin hit the ropes and got tied up. Rey bounced off the opposite ropes, came at Justin, and gave him a huge clothesline. Justin flipped over, fell, hit his head on the apron, and ended up on the announcer's table. Steven said,"Good God! What a hit!" Rey climbed the turnbuckle. Steven said,"No! Don't do it! Not on our announce table. Big Moose came from out of the crowd as Rey soared off the turnbuckle. Big Moose pulled Justin out of the way and Rey hit the table. Ken laughed and said,"Doesn't weigh enough to break a table!" Rey rolled over on the floor holding his stomach. Steven said,"He hit the hard part of the table. I don't think anyone could go through that." Rini ran over to Rey and tried to help him. Steven said,"Come on, Ref! Big Moose isn't in the match." Justin attacked Big Moose. Big Moose grabbed him by his throat but shook his head. Then, Big Moose powerbombed him on his knee. The ref saw this and declared Justin Edible the winner. Ken yelled,"The ref is blind!" Rey got up and tried to attack Big Moose. Rey got a few feet and fell over. Big Moose came over the guardrail, picked Rey up over his head, and threw him into the steel ringpost. Officials quickly came down there and stopped Big Moose. Rini rushed over and helped Rey.
The Brain at the Announcer's Table
The Brain's music hit and he came down to the announcer's table. He took a headset and said,"You know what, Steven and Ken? You two need some excitement. You need some energy. You need the Smart One. YOU NEED THE BRAIN!" He sat down and Steven said,"Okay...." Ken said,"Do you know where I can get some poontang waffles?"
Womankind vs. DDT
"On to the women's event," said Steven. "Woooo! Puppies!" Yelled Ken
"How did I know that was coming," sighed Steven, "tonight will be a
hardcore evening gown match between DDT and Womankind. If you remember a
couple weeks back the two had this same match, ending in a win for DDT.
Womankind is on the rebound what will," the Brain interrupted, "but do
either of them have waffles? Huh? Do they?" Steven replied, " Well I don't
know really...." Womankind's music hit and she walked down the ramp in a
glittering blue dress and waited in the ring. "Hmm.. seems she's going more
and more stylish every week," stated Steven. Then DDT's music hit and she
walked down the ramp in a tight leather dress. "Hey that's the dress that
was shown earlier on the Slut TV!" yelled Ken, "Yea! Where's the whip?" DDT
jumped in the ring and the bell sounded. Womankind rushed her right away and
nailed her with a punch to the chest, DDT countered with a kick to the
stomach knocking Womankind into the corner. "Looks like both women came out
ready to fight tonight," Said Steven. "But where's the waffles?" asked
Brain, "I want waffles, bet they want some waffles too, just like Ken does."
Steven glanced over, only to see Ken, eyes glued to the ring. "What kind of
waffles do you like Steven?" asked Brain. Steven replied, "well.. I like a
few kinds really, but overall
I'd have to say." Steven was interrupted by Brain, "WELL IT DOESNT
MATTER WHAT KIND YOU LIKE!" Steven said " Yes well.. back to the match."
With Womankind now in the corner, DDT layed the punches to her, Womankind
broke free and smashed her elbow into DDT's face, causing her to stumble
back. Having the free chance, Womankind grabbed DDT's hair and dragged her
to the ground, then continued to stomp on her. DDT got a break and kicked
Womankind in the face, sending her toppling over. Meanwhile DDT got up,
climbed out of the ring onto the floor, grabbed something and jumped back
in. "I knew she had it!" screamed Ken as she uncoiled the whip, "oh kinky!"
DDT snapped the whip, Womankind now on her feet, ran at DDT, only to be
whipped, connecting with the back of her legs. DDT whipped her again,
Womankind dropped to her knees, then DDT ran up kneeled down and ripped at
Womankind's dress, snapping one of the straps. Womankind jumped up, kneed
DDT in the face, knocking her on her back, then attempted to rip her dress
off. "Now I wouldn't mind seeing what's under that dress," said Ken. "Is
that all you think about?" asked Steven. Ken replied, " well that's what's
important isn't it?" "Exactly Steven, know your I.Q! Steven replies, " But
I." Brain interrupts, "and shut your
mouth!" Meanwhile, DDT put her foot on Womankind's stomach and flipped
her onto her back. "What is she doing!?" Yelled Steven as DDT tied
Womankind up with her whip. "Womankind can't move now, DDT has the
match." DDT ripped off Womankind's dress, then took the whip. "DDT
remains the women's champion." DDT snapped the whip and left the ring,
leaving Womankind still sitting dazed in the ring.
Dashi Nokia Backstage
Dashi Nokia was shown backstage praticing with a Kendo Stick. Suddenly, Showtime came out of nowhere and hit Dashi with a chair. Showtime continued to beat on him while he was down on the ground. Steven said,"Showtime faces Dashi in the tournament. It must be trying to soften him up." Ken said,"I don't know. I think this would make Dashi madder and more dangerous." Officials got Showtime off Dashi. Dashi got up and went after Showtime. The two attacked the officials to get at each other. More officials came in and handcuffed both Showtime and Dashi.
Triple X vs. Sin and Pane
Sin and Pane came out first to their music. Steven said,"Triple X has his work cut out for him. Can he retain his Tag Team Titles?" The Brain said,"A better question is: Does he like waffles?" They got into the ring and Triple X's music hit. He came out with the titles and walked to the ring. Sin and Pane climbed out of the ring and stood waiting for him. Triple X walked up to them. Sin and Pane were about to attack when Marshall Law and Order came out from under the ring and hit them with their nightsticks. Triple X gave them a double clothesline has them stumbled forward. Triple X, Law, and Order stomped away on Sin and Pane. Steven said,"This isn't fair!" Ken said,"Yeah, it is. The bell never rang. The match hasn't started yet." The Brain said,"They need to know their I.Q.'s and shut their mouthes." They continued to beat on them until Justin Edible and Hardcore Howie came running out. Ken said,"Here comes their friends." Out of nowhere, a Kendo Stick shot out from the audience and hit Howie in the head. Justin was distracted and Triple X hit him with a chair. Adam Blackman climbed out of the crowd and the Foundation beat on all four of them. Ken said,"Even without Jones, the Foundation still has all the power." Marshall Law and Order rolled Sin and Pane into the ring and Triple X got in. Triple X yelled at the referee to ring the bell. The ref rang the bell. Triple X sexdegreed Sin and then, Sexdegreed Pane. He rolled them both over and pinned. The ref counted 1..2..3. Steven said,"This isn't right!" Ken said,"Triple X is UWM! He retains his Tag Team Championship." The Brain said,"I can whip his ass if you smell what The Brain is thinkin'" PD Derek's music hit and the crowd roared. PD Derek walked out with a mic and said,"I see the Foundation still thinks they have control of UWM. Well, that's not true. I HAVE CONTROL OF UWM!" The crowd roared again. Derek continued,"Therefore, I am reversing the decision and I'd like to announce the NEW UWM TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!" Triple X shook his head and yelled. Derek yelled,"SIN AND PANE!" Ken said,"That's unfair." Steven said,"You and I both know it was the right thing to do. PD Derek is the owner of UWM and he's doing a good job at it." The Brain said,"Go suck a hippo's nipple, Steven.
Interview with Big Moose
James stood backstage with Big Moose. James was about to say something but The Brain interupted. The Brain said,"I'm so good at announcing. I think I can handle interviewing too." The Brain took the mic and said,"James, go suck a hippo's nipple." James left and The Brain said,"Big Moose is it? I don't really keep track of all the jobbers in UWM." Big Moose grabbed the mic and said,"JOBBER!?" The Brain said,"I don't see any gold around your waist." Big Moose replied,"I don't see any around your waist but I will have gold as soon as UWM Wrestling Mayhem. The next pay-per-view I'm challenging Little Rey Rey for his IC Belt." The Brain said,"Okay, so as the interviewer, I'm supposed to ask you how are you going to beat the champion. But the fact is that it's 500 pounds verses what, like 85." Big Moose laughed and said,"Yeah, my arm weighs more than him." The Brain said,"Now Big Moose, can I call you Biggie M?" Big Moose said,"Well..I gue," but was interupted by,"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I CALL YOU," said by The Brain. Big Moose went to hit The Brain but ReyMooseJr jumped him from behind with a steel chair. They fought but The Brain turned the camera towards himself. He said,"It doesn't matter because Wrestling Mayhem is all about ME. I will shock the world by revealing UWM's biggest secret. IF YOU SMELLLLLALALALALA...WHAT THE BRAIN......is thinking."
Charisma vs. Kef-Pac
Ken said,"If that whole Tag Team Titles thing wasn't bad enough, PD Derek set up Charisma verses Kef-Pac for the World Championship. That is unfair. Showtime deserves a Title shot more than him." Charisma came out first and received a huge pop. Steven said,"The fans just love this guy and he loves his fans right back." Ken muttered,"Sounds like an ass kisser." The Brain said,"Everyone knows I am the biggest fan favorite in UWM. I get the largest pops." Kef-Pac came out next and received a huge pop also. They both got into the ring and the bell rang. Kef-Pac went for a Spinkick but Charisma dragonscrewed him to the mat. Kef-Pac got back up and Charisma dropkicked him into the corner. Charisma ran at Kef-Pac and Kef-Pac gave him an elbow to the face. Kef-Pac clotheslined Charisma down and punched away at him. Charisma rolled out of the ring and Kef-Pac went out after him. Kef-Pac whipped Charisma to the steel steps. Kef-Pac ran at Charisma and Spinkicked him. Kef-Pac picked him up and Charisma slammed Kef-Pac's head against the announcer's table. Charisma jumped on Kef-Pac's shoulders and hurricanraned him onto the announcer's table. Kef-Pac slowly got up as Charisma got on the table too. Kef-Pac kicked him in the stomach and went for the Kef-Factor. Charisma blocked it and clotheslined Kef-Pac. Steven yelled,"Get off our table!" The two punched away at each other. Ken said,"Look! It's Showtime." The Brain said,"He's a jabroni." Showtime ran out, got into the ring, and climbed the turnbuckle. Steven, Ken, and Brain ran away from the table. Kef-Pac and Charisma stopped fighting and looked up as Showtime flew off the turnbuckle. All three of them went through the table. Showtime stood up and laughed at Kef-Pac and Charisma. PD Derek ran out to the rideside area. Showtime saw him, grabbed a chair, and hit Derek with it. Steven yelled,"That's your friend and owner of UWM! He's trying to help you!" Showtime hit Steven with the chair and knocked him over the guardrail. Showtime looked at Ken and Ken said,"I never liked Derek." Showtime continued to beat on Derek with the chair. He pounded away on his leg trying to break it. Ken screamed,"OHHHH DADDY! Break it! Break it!" Showtime got Steven's headset and said,"You know something, Ken. I thought Charisma kissed more ass than anyone else in UWM." Ken said,"Yeah, He got a title shot out of nowhere. It pays to be the boss's friend." Showtime said,"But now, I realize that YOU kiss the most ass around here to get into people's good graces." Ken said,"No. No. No. That's not true." Showtime grabbed Ken and gave him a high impact ddt on the floor. The Brain couldn't take it anymore and attacked Showtime. Showtime quickly beat him up and The Brain ran away through the crowd. Showtime stood on the Spanish announcer's table with a mic and said,"I will not stop until I get a title shot. If I have to win the Tournament, I will! Nothing can stop me. It's my time! IT'S SHOWTIME!"
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