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Moose Pack in the Ring
"HELLO WRESTLING FANS AND WELCOME TO UWM SATURDAY NIGHT!!" screamed Ken, "Tonight we have a lot of matches plus a special challenge by the Moosepack." "Yes Ken..", Steven was cut off by the Moosepack theme starting and the Moosepack came out to the crowd booing. Macho Moose grabbed the mic, "OOOOHHHHH YYYEEEAAAHHHH!! D-Kef tonight we want your asses in a match, and were gonna break you in half like slim jims, OOOHHH YYYEEAAAHHH." Macho hands the mic to Rey. A "Rey is gay" chant starts, "Alot of people have asked Why Moosepack? Why? Well it's simple, we did it for the money, and power. We never cared about all you fat subordinate slobs in the first place. Yes, money & power. After we kick D-Kef's asses tonight again, well will prove to you people that we always were better then D-Kef. To steal a page from a new friend of mine, D-Kef...YOU HAVE NO CHANCE!!!" Rey through the mic down and the Moosepack left to the crowd booing. "Wow Ken, D-Kef vs Moosepack tonight" said Steven.
PD Derek vs. ?????
Timothy Jones came out to his music and got into the ring with a mic. He said,"Today is a great day. PD Derek is at the very bottom of the UWM Ladder and I controll ALL of his matches. So, get out here Derek!" PD Derek came out and the crowd went wild. He slid into the ring and got in Mr. Jones's face. Mr. Jones said,"Now, bring out his opponent." A countdown begin, a boom, and Jerkicho came out. Steven said,"It'll be PD Derek verses Jerkicho!?" Marshall Law and Order came to the ring after Jerkicho. Timothy said,"I forgot to tell you something. PD Derek you'll have to fight Jerkicho in a straightjacket. Derek went to attack Mr. Jones but Law and Order stopped him and put the straightjacket on him. A ref came out and rang the bell. Ken said,"If Jerkicho gets PD Derek in the Lion Two-Timer, there's no way he could get out of it." Jerkicho dropkicked Derek and Derek had trouble getting up. Jerkicho stomped him over and over. Steven said,"This would be Jerkicho's biggest win." Jerkicho grabbed Derek's legs to put his finisher on him but Derek pushed him away. Derek got up as Jerkicho ran at him. Derek ducked and flipped Jerkicho to the outside. Derek bounced off the ropes and did a baseball slide on Jerkicho. Jerkicho slid into the ring and punched away at Derek. Derek kicked him in the groin and kneed him in the face. Derek bounced off the ropes and Jerkicho monkey flipped him. Jerkicho climbed the turnbuckle but as he turned around, Derek headbutted him in the nuts. Jerkicho fell forward, Derek put him head between his thighs, jumped up, and hit the Sex-Factor. Steven said,"I don't believe it! He did his move without his arms. That's amazing!" Derek pinned and the ref counted 1..2..3. Timothy screamed on the outside. Marshall Law and Order slid into the ring and beat PD Derek with their nightsticks. Steven said,"COME ON! He can't defend himself!" They continued to beat on him until officials got them off him.
Slut TV
The big TV powered up and Womankind came on. "Yes, it's time for another
edition of Slut TV. Since the recent sellout of the Moosepack, lets look in on
that huge slut, Rini!" said Womankind. The camera panned into the locker room
and showed Rini standing in front of a full-length mirror, looking at a new
outfit that she wore. It was a royal gown, complete with cape and crown.
"Ravishing, Regal Rini!" she said, rolling her R's. "I could own this entire
fed! I could have men at my beck and call! I am Ravishing, Regal, no ROYAL
Rini!" she said. Rini looked into the mirror closer and saw Womankind laughing
at her from outside the door. "How DARE you, you peasant!" yelled Rini as she
ran to the door. Womankind slammed it into Rini's face as she came close, then
ran down the hall, laughing. The big TV powered down.
El Grapadoro vs. The Brain
"Do you smell what the brain is thinkin'?" hit and the crowd erupted. The Brain came out and the crowd grew even louder. He walked and climbed into the ring. Brain called for a mic, he was about to talk when he was cut off by "Do you smell what the Grapadoro is thinkin'?". El Grapadoro, dressed as the brain, came out and the crowd laughed. The Brain was about to talk but EL Grapadoro cut him off in the best english he could "KNOW YER ROLE AN SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!". The Brain was furious. "Brain, in front of all El Grapadoro's fans, I will kick your rooooooodddyy poooo candy.." Brain interupted El Grapadoro, "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WILL KICK THE BRAINS CANDY ASS!!! Wait a minute??? You SOB." And The Brain slid out of the ring and El Grapadoro started punching the Brain. Brain blocked, and started punching Grapadoro. "Brain isn't to pleased" said Steven. "I can't wait to see the Grapadoro elbow" said Ken. Brain rolled Grapadoro into the ring and followed. Brain picked El Grapadoro up and went for the brain bottom, but Grapadoro blocked it and swinging neckbreakered him. "To early for that" said Steven. Grapadoro put Brain in the corner and started punching Brain in the face, punch, punch, punch, spit on hand, and punched Brain. The punch knocked Brain over the top and onto the floor. "Thats one of Brains trademarks" said Steven. "Well duh" said Ken. Brain rolled in at a 6 count and Grapadoro went to pick the Brain up, but Brain lowblowed him, and ddted him. Brain covers 1,2,kickout. Brain whipped Grapadoro into the ropes and then hit him with a hard clothesline. Brain was going to clothesline Grapadoro again, but Grapdoro ducked and caught Brain. "GRAPADORO BOTTOM!!!" screamed Ken. Brain countered and hit another ddt on El Grapadoro. Brain whipped Grapadoro into the corner and was gonna splash them but Grapadoro pulled the ref in the way. The ref was down and El Grapadoro stumbled out of the corner. Brain caught him and Brainbottomed him. Brain got up and took off his elbow pad. "BRAIN ELBOW!!" screamed Ken. Brain bounced off the ropes, hopped Grapadoro, bounced off the ropes and was about to elbow Grapadoro, but he moved a brain missed. "OH MY GOD!! HE MISSED!!" yelled Steven. Grapadoro got up and caught Brain trying to hit a hard punch. "GRAPADOROBOTTOM!!" Grapadoro hit the brain bottom and got up. "GRAPADORO ELBOW!!!!" Grapadoro threw his elbow pad into the crowd and bounced off the ropes, and connected with the Grapadoro elbow. "ITS OVER!!" screamed Ken. "No, because he pulled the ref infornt of him earlier" said Steven. The ref was still out and Grapadoro was reviving him when the brain popped up, spun Grapadoro around and Brainbottomed him. Brain covered and the ref slowly counted 1....2.....3. After the bell rang the Brain hit the brains elbow on both El Grapadoro and the ref. "El Grapadoro just can't seem to catch a break" said Steven.
Adam Blackman Backstage
"Hold on, we have a fight backstage!" yelled Steven. "Adam Blackman has gone
into DaShi's locker room and started a fight! Can we get a camera crew
backstage?!" The big TV powered up and showed a camera crew entering the locker
room. DaShi was on his hands and knees and Adam was beating him over the back
with a steel chair. DaShi kept trying to get up, but Adam would hit him and
knock him back down. DaShi grabbed the bench and pushed it into Adam's legs.
Adam dropped the chair and DaShi picked it up and smashed it into Adam's face.
DaShi grabbed Adam and slammed him into the lockers. DaShi grabbed Adam's head
and began to pound it into the locker door repeatedly. As he slammed Adam's
head, the locker became more and more dented. Blood started to stream down
Adam's face. DaShi started to snarl and grin as he pounded harder and harder
until some officials came in and broke it up. Adam slid down the locker,
trailing blood while DaShi began to attack the refs. The camera crew backed up
as more officials rushed in to overwhelm DaShi. The TV powered down.
DaShi NoKia vs. Al Fro
"Well, here we are at DaShi's chance to get the Hardcore Title. I know that Hardcore Howie wanted this match, but I gotta tell you, DaShi seems
a bit unhinged, if you know what I mean. He may be right for the hardcore
belt." said Steven. "I don't know, Howie is one sick individual. Of course,
Pain TV is sick too, so maybe you are right." said Ken. Al Fro got in the ring
and signaled for a mic, but DaShi came running down the ramp with a locker door.
"That's the door Adam was beaten with! Look, his blood is still on it!" yelled
Ken. DaShi slid into the ring behind Al and started to beat him with the locker
door. The bell rang and the match started. DaShi kept pounding away and Al Fro
as Al went down to the mat. Al rolled into DaShi and bit his leg, causing DaShi
to drop the locker door. Al then punched DaShi in the balls, but DaShi just
stood there. Al hit him again in the balls, and DaShi smiled and spit blood
into Al's face. "GOD! That man is sick!" yelled Steven. DaShi hauled off and
kicked Al in the chest, knocking him down. DaShi jumped in the air and landed a
flying elbow to Al's balls. DaShi began to laugh as he got up and went for Al's
head. "Wait! What's this! Here comes Howie!" yelled Ken. Howie slid into the
ring behind DaShi and grabbed the locker door. DaShi did not see him as Howie
climed to the top rope and catapulted up and across the ring, slamming the
locker door into DaShi's head. "Why is Howie helping Al Fro?" said Steven. "He
probably wants Al to keep the belt, so he can get it from him." said Ken. DaShi
went down and Howie started to beat him with the door. Al just lay there, out
cold. DaShi started to get up but Howie planted the locker door on his face so
hard it bent, and DaShi was out. The bell rang, and both DaShi and Al were
disqualified. Howie went over to Al and spat on him, then started down the
ramp.
Rini Interview
The big TV powered up and Steven came on. "Tonight we have an interview with
Ravishing, Royal Rini! Rini, since your exposure tonight on Slut TV, how do you
respond to Womankind laughing at your title?" Rini stood there in her robe and
crown and looked the camera dead in the face. "I want to show that peasant
Womankind that she can't push me around. I want to rub her face in the dirt and
make her eat mud! I want to teach her a lesson about respecting those that are
better than her! I want her in a mud-wrestling match next week! I will show the world
what a pig she is when she is rolling in the mud! Wallowing in the muck like a
filthy peasant!" she said. As she said this last bit, Rini opened her robe to
reveal a tight, gown of purple silk. "WOW! Look at that! I LOVE YOU!" yelled Ken. Embroidered on the
front was a coat of arms showing a moose and a wall. "What is with the coat of
arms Rini?" asked Steven. "Oh this? Well since the Moosepack joined the
foundation, I though it would be appropriate to show my support. Besides,
royalty deserve a coat of arms, don't they?" said Rini. "I don't know about
that, but that outfit is STUNNING!" said Steven. "Any last words for your fans
out there?" "Yes, for all of those questioning the alliance between the
Foundation and Moosepack, listen up. We deserve better, and the Foundation can
get us better. Better contracts, better pay, and titles to match. Nothing else
matters!" The TV powered down.
UWM First Commercial
"Hey, I'm UWM Wrestler, Jerkicho. You know, it's tough work, bein' a man.
You work hard, and you play hard,
and you DON'T stay clean.
But when you're done, you want to GET clean, and you want to feel fresh all over. That's why you use Crotch Masculine Deodorant Spray.
Crotch makes you feel clean in those special places, so you're always at your best.
Crotch Masculine Deodorant Spray."
When a man wants to feel good, he reaches for his Crotch.
Marshall Law and Order vs. Sin/Pane
"Well last Saturday night Ken, Sin and Pane had a shot at the tag titles and it was a great match" said Steven. Marshall Law & Order came outand were walking to the ring when Sin and Pane ran from the back with lead pipes. Pane smoked Law in he back and Sin hit Order in the ribs. "OOHHH DAADDDYY, they mean business tonight" said Ken. Pane continued beating on Law while Sin whipped Order into the ring. Sin immiediately grabbed Order and chokeslammed him down. Pane came into the ring helped Sin stomp on Order. Law stumbled to the ring holding his back and when he got in, Sin kicked him in the face. "Laws head snapped right back" said Steven. Sin climbed the top rope and jumped and clotheslined Order. "This is just an ass kicking" said Ken, "Law & Order never had a chance after they were hit by those pipes" said Steven. Sin had Law and tombstoned him down, and Pane had Order and Superpowerbombed him down. "There sending a message to Timothy Jones" said Ken. Pane dragged Order and put him on Law, and Sin covered both of them 1,2,3. "Sin & Pane just kicked Law & Orders ass" said Ken.
Justin Edible vs. Adam Blackman
Justin Edible came out first with his Kendo Stick. Adam Blackman ran out with a Kendo Stick of his own and attacked Justin from behind. Steven said,"This match isn't hardcore rules but it looks like it's gonna start that way." Adam knocked Justin down the entrance ramp. Justin got up at the bottom of the ramp and receive a shot in the head with Adam's Kendo Stick. Adam rolled him into the ring, dropped his Kendo Stick, and slid in. The ref rang the bell as Adam kicked Justin in the ribs. Ken said,"Adam Blackman is showing no mercy." Justin rolled away and got up. Adam clotheslined him down to the mat and stomped on him. The referee got Adam off him and Justin got up. Adam pushed the ref away, ran at Justin, and Justin kicked him in the gut. Justin set him up and piledrove him to the mat. Justin picked Adam up suplexed him into the turnbuckle. Steven said,"Ouch! That's got to hurt." Justin hooked Adam in the tree of woes, ran to the opposite turnbuckle, ran back, and did a baseball slide to Adam's face. Adam fell off the turnbuckle and Justin pinned. The ref counted 1..2 and Adam kicked out. Justin picked him up and put him in the corner. Justin climbed up and punched him over and over until the referee got him off. He pushed the ref away and kicked away at Adam's ribs. The ref got between them and argued with Justin. Adam got up, pulled the ref away, and ddt'ed Justin. Adam climbed the top rope and was about to do his legdrop but Justin got up and knocked his feet out from under him. Justin climbed up the turnbuckle with him. Steven said,"What is he doing?" Ken said,"Looks like he's gonna do a German Suplex from the top rope." Adam blocked it and turned around. He was about to forward suplex Justin but Justin countered with a Sky High from the top rope. Ken screamed,"OHHHHHHHH DADDY!" Justin pinned and the ref counted 1..2..3. Justin got a mic and said,"Now, that's not just sick. That's not just revolting. THAT'S JUSTIN EDIBLE!!!!"
Kef-Pac Interview
"Alright lets go backstage where James is standing by with Kef-Pac" said Steven. "Alright thanks Steven, I am standing here with Kef-Pac" said James. "Correction" said Kef-Pac, "You were standing here with Kef-Pac" and Kef-Pac push him off the set. "Moosepack you think your funny by setting up a match with us. Well let me tell you something bitch, after we kick your ass and you are pleading for us to stop, you can't have your little bed buddy foundation come down, or the match is called off." Kef -Pac left and the camera faded out. "Woah, no interferance" said Ken.
Pain TV
Steven said,"I'm getting word that something is going on backstage." Cameras went back there and Al Fro and Hardcore Howie were fighting. Ken laughed and said,"You'd think Fro would be thanking Howie for saving his ass." Howie and Fro were beating each other with anything they could find. Steven said,"Why aren't the officials stopping this?" Ken said,"Would you want to get between them?" They both finally fell over. Both were covered in blood. DaShi NoKia came out of nowhere with a referee and pinned Al Fro. Steven said,"What the!?" The ref counted 1..2..3, raised DaShi's arm, and gave him the Hardcore Belt. Ken said,"What's going on!?" DaShi Nokia grabbed a mic and said,"Those fools didn't realize I scheduled a 3-way dance at this exact moment. I just led them to each other, they fought, and I walk away with the title. This title means NOTHING to me but it means EVERYTHING to them. Now, this is a pain like no other."
Kef-Pac/Kevin Michaels/RoadFoxx vs. Macho Moose/Big Moose/ReyMooseJr
Steven said,"This is the main event and it's a big one. It's going to be D-Kef's Kef-Pac, Kevin Michaels, and RoadFoxx verses the Moose Pack's Macho Moose, Big Moose, and ReyMooseJr." D-Kef's music hit and Kef-Pac, Kevin Michaels, and RoadFoxx came out. They got into the ring and Kef-Pac got a mic. He said,"The Moose Pack has screwed me out of the World Championship. The Foundation has screwed me out of the World Championship. Timothy Jones has screwed me out of the World Championship. I've been screwed a lot in my career and it's about time I win the title I've worked so hard to get!" Moose Pack's music hit and Macho Moose, Big Moose, and ReyMooseJr came out. Macho had a mic and said,"Geez, Kef-Pac! Seems like you get screwed more times than your slut, Tygress. I think it's time we shut you up." They ran to the ring and slid in. D-Kef stomped on them and the bell rang. Big Moose pushed Kevin away and knocked RoadFoxx and Kef-Pac down. Macho and Rey got up and they all stomped on Kef-Pac. The ref stomped them and told Big Moose and ReyMooseJr to go to their corner. Macho picked Kef-Pac and double arm ddt'ed him. Macho taunted him and kicked him in the head a couple of times. RoadFoxx tried to help but the ref stopped him and ReyMooseJr came in the ring. Macho held Kef-Pac and punched away at him. RoadFoxx got back on the apron and the ref told Macho to get to the corner. Steven said,"Wait! There was no tag!" Ken said,"What are you talking about! Kef-Pac got tagged a bunch of times!" ReyMooseJr set Kef-Pac up on the top turnbuckle. He climbed up with him, jumped, and went for a top rope hurricanrana but Kef-Pac blocked, jumped off, and powerbombed him. Steven yelled,"Good God! Both men are down." Both men crawled over to their corners and they tagged in Kevin Michaels and Macho Moose. Macho clotheslined HBK down but he got back up and dropkicked Macho. Kevin ran over to him and Russian Legsweeped him. Kevin waited for Macho to get. He got up and Kevin went for his Sweet & Sour Chin Music. Macho ducked and lowblowed HBK. Macho poked Kevin in the eyes and tagged in Big Moose. Ken said,"Here comes the big man!" Big Moose clotheslined HBK. Kef-Pac came in and he got clotheslined and so did RoadFoxx. Big Moose raised his hand calling for the chokeslam. Big Moose grabbed HBK and RoadFoxx and gave them a double chokeslam. He picked Kef-Pac but Kef-Pac pushed him away and SpinKicked him over the top rope. ReyMooseJr ran in and got a spinkick that almost took his head off. Macho Moose ran in and got the Kef-Factor. He pinned and the ref counted 1..2..3. Ken screamed,"NO!!!! He was never tagged in!" The referee raised Kef-Pac's arm as Big Moose came into the ring. He grabbed Kef-Pac by the throat and chokeslammed him with one hand. Steven said,"Good God! What a chokeslam!" Macho, Rey, and Big Moose all beat on Kef-Pac until Kevin Michaels and RoadFoxx got into the ring. Officials came out to break up the big fight.
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