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D-Kef in the Ring
Degeneration-Kef's music hit and the crowd jumped to their feet. Steven said,"This is UWM Saturday Night. I am Steven, that's Ken, and the man coming to the ring is Kef-Pac." Kef-Pac got into the ring and grabbed a mic. He said,"Last Saturday, I won the right to appear at UWM Unrestricted to face Triple X. I will take home the World Championship. I know Timothy Jones is going to try and stop me but I've waited for this my entire life. I have been screwed over and over. Triple X's time is up and now, it's MY time." The Foundation's music came on and Mr. Jones came out with Triple X. He said,"Kef-Pac, let it be known that you will not walk out of this arena under your own power. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking,"Triple X is going to kick my ass." That...isn't true. Triple X must rest for that big pay-per-view so he has the night off. You...do not. Tonight..in that very ring, there will be a handicap match. You, Kef-Pac verses Marshall Law and Order." The crowd boo'ed. Steven said,"Now, wait a
damn minute. Kef-Pac should rest for his match too. This is unfair." Timothy Jones gave Triple X the mic and he said,"Kef-Pac, I got two words for you.....Good luck." Kef-Pac said,"I got two words for you too and I think the crowd knows." The crowd yelled,"Kram It!" Ken said,"Kef-Pac better hope he makes it out alive."
Adam Blackman vs. ReyMooseJr
"Here we go,"said Steven,"Another IC tournment match." ReyMooseJr's theme blasted over the arena and the crowd erupted. Rey came out and started jumping around getting the crowd going, when Blackman ran from the back and attacked Rey from behind. "Damn him" said Ken. "What? I thought you hate Rey" said Steven. "No I thought I saw Rey motioning for some female fan to take off her shirt." Blackman dragged Rey down to the ring and slammed him into the ring steps. Blackman grabbed Rey and slid him into the ring and the match began. Adam started off with some chops and the crowd going "WOOOOOO" and Rey answering with hard chops and the crowd "WOOOOS" again. Rey tried to kick Adam in the gut, Adam blocks and spins Rey around, and drops Rey with a sharp kick to the head. "OH MY GOD!! DID YOU SEE REYS HEAD SNAP BACK!!" screamed Steven. Adam picked Rey up and slammed him down, then leg dropped him and covered 1,2, kickout. Rey rolled to the corner and Blackman followed and stomped Rey in the corner. Adam picked Rey up and threw him into the opposite corner and charged, but Rey got his feet up and Adam was stunned, then Rey dropkicked Adam down. Rey grabbed Adam and hit a small ddt. Rey climbed the top rope, and when Adam got up jumped off and attempted a hurrincanrana, but Adam blocked and powerbombed Rey down onto the back of his neck. "OOOOHHHHH DDDDDAADDDDDDDYYYYY!!!" yelled Ken, "Rey is broken in half." Adam quickly covered 1,2, kickout. "2 and 3/4" said Steven. Adam dragged Rey into the center of the ring and motioned to goto the top, which the crowd greeted with an "asshole" chant. Adam climbed the top, but took to much time and Rey rolled out of the way and Adam missed the frogsplash. Rey was up before Adam could get up and Rey started pounding Adam down to the mat. Rey grabbed Adam and hit a atomic drop, then clotheslined him down. Adam started to get up and caught Rey with a eye rake. Adam threw Rey into the ropes and tried to clothesline Rey, but Rey hooked around him and hit the 596. "596!! Its OVER!!" screamed Steven. Rey covered and ref counted 1,2,3. "This has to be considered an upset Steven" said Ken. "ReyMooseJr advances."
Slut TV
The Big TV powered up. "What have we here?" said Steven. Womankind appeared
on the screen. "We are just outside the locker room where the outfits for
Unrestricted are being held. Let's just see what they have in there." said
Womankind as she opened the door. There were several boxes, labeled men and
women. Womankind opened the one labeled women and pulled out a very small
bikini. "This will never do. I don't think it reveals enough of their true
personality. Lets make a few alterations." With this Womankind pulled out a
pair of scissors and began to cut holes in the bikinis so that the nipples would
show. "How about a crotchless panty to go with this, eh?" She began to cut the
panties as well. "Wow. I hope I see that one at Unrestricted!" shouted Ken as
the big TV powered down. "I think I saw a thong in there. Not much Womankind
could do to that.." said Steven.
Big Moose vs. Lance Fortune
"WEEEELLLLL, WELLLLL ITS THE BIG MOOSE." Big Moose came out and the crowd cheered. "Look at the size of this guy" said Steven, "he's huge." Lance Fortune came out next and was throwing money into the crowd, to which the crowd cheered loudly to also. Lance slid into the ring and immiediately charged the Big Moose and caught him off guard with a super kick. "Thats the quickest time eve for getting the Big Moose down in a match" said Steven. Lance tried to keep the Big Moose down but to no avail. Big Moose was on his feet and dropped Lance with a headbut. Lance got right up and Big Moose picked him up and slammed him down hard. "His strength is scary" said Ken. Lance slowly got up and rested in the corner Big Moose followed but Lance got a low blow and then hopped to the second rope and missile dropkicked Big Moose, but didn't knock him down. Big Moose was regaining his focus and caught Lance when he tried a crossbody, and threw him over the toprope and outside. Joe Hart emerged from the back and walked down to the ring. "What the hell is he doing out here?" asked Steven. Joe hopped on the ring apron and got the refs attention. Big Moose seen this and grabbed Joe in a Mooseslam and Mooseslammed him from the apron to inside. Outside, Lance grabbed an iron pipe from under the ring and rolled into the ring. The ref was rolling Joe out of the ring and Lance dented the pipe on Big Mooses head. The Big Moose dropped and Lance covered 1,2,3. Lance started celebrating with Joe. "Wow, Lance Fortune moves on" said Ken, "Im shocked. Big Moose has been laid out."
Timothy Jones Backstage
A camera showed Mr. Jones talking to Marshall Law and Order backstage. Mr. Jones said,"I need Kef-Pac taken care of...NOW! I'm tired of him getting in my business. End his career." Marshall Law and Order nodded their heads and left. Steven said,"Kef-Pac better watch his back."
RoadFoxx/Kevin Michaels vs. Sin/Pane
D-Kef's music hit and RoadFoxx and Kevin Michaels came out to the roaring crowd. Sin and Pane came out to the boo's. Ken said,"This should be a good match. Sin and Pane lost the Tag Team Titles last week to Marshall Law and Order." Everyone got in and the bell rang. HBK and Foxx ran forward and received two big boots from Sin and Pane. Sin tossed Kevin over the top rope and went out with him. Inside the ring, Pane was giving Foxx rights and lefts. Foxx ducked a punch and lowblowed Pane. Then, RoadFoxx pushed Pane in the corner. Ken said,"Here it comes! The FoxxTrain!" Foxx ran forward but before he could hit Pane, Sin hit him with a chair. The ref called for the bell. Steven said,"I guess Kevin Michaels and RoadFoxx win because Sin used that chair." Pane turned around and shoved Sin to the ground. He got out of the ring and Sin and Pane went at it. Ken said,"This team is not getting along."
D-Kef Backstage
Kevin Michaels and RoadFoxx walked back to their locker room with James asking them questions. James said,"Now, that you beat Sin and Pane, will you go for the Tag Titles?" HBK said,"Sure. Whatever. I just want to take a shower and then, I promise I'll give you an interview." RoadFoxx yelled,"FUCK! Kevin get in here." Kevin, James, and the cameraman went into the locker room where Kef-Pac was laying on the floor. He was beaten badly. Foxx said,"Get some help now!" Steven said,"I think I know who's behind this..."
Sexy Della vs. Rini
"Well this should be a good match-up." said Steven. "Sexy Della and Rini have
been working on their moves, and I think that we will see a lot of good
technique." "Who cares! I wanna see puppies!" said Ken. Rini was already in
the ring doing some stretches. She bent to touch her toes and Ken said, "Wow,
would you look at that! Her butt looks Grrrreeeaaat!" "Is that all you can
think about?" asked Steven. Sexy Della came down the ramp swinging her hips to
the beat of the music. She climbed into the ring and the bell rang. Rini
launched into a flurry of punches but Sexy Della planted a big boot to the
stomach. "Nice return. This could be a heavy match." said Steven. Della
grabbed Rini and delivered a suplex. Rini got up and raked her face, then Irish
whipped Della into the corner. Rini ran at her and jumped, landing a huge
flying kick to Della's head. Della dropped to her knees. "That's what I like
to see. A woman on her knees!" said Ken. "Please shut up, will you?" yelled
Steven. "She could kick your ass any day." Rini grabbed Della and piledrived
her into the mat. "Ouch!" yelled Steven. Rini covered, 1, 2, kickout! Rini
picked up Della and threw her to the ropes but Della grabbed them and stopped
her momentum. "Uh-oh. This can't be good for Rini." said Steven. Della
charged Rini and knocked her down, then started to stomp on her knee. Rini
swept Della's legs out from under her with her other leg, and rolled onto Della
for a pin. 1, "Look out! Here comes Womankind!" Yelled Ken. 2, Womankind ran
into the ring and kicked Rini off of Della. Womankind began stomping on the
same knee that Della was working on. The ref tried to get Womankind off of
Rini, but Womankind's elbow caught him under the chin, and he went down.
"That's not good. What is Womankind doing?" yelled Steven. "I don't care, I
wanna see puppies!" yelled Ken. As if in response, Womankind grabbed Rini's
outfit and ripped it, exposing her breasts. "YYYYYYEEEESSSSSS! Puppies!"
yelled Ken. As the ref got up, Womankind ran out of the ring. Della got over
to Rini and covered. 1, 2, 3! "Della wins!" yells Ken. "But only because
Womankind interfered!" said Steven.
D-Kef Backstage
Ken said,"Get a camera backstage!" RoadFoxx and Kevin Michaels were attacking Marshall Law and Order. They were beating them with chairs, bats, and anything else they could find. Ken said,"Law and Order must have been the ones that attacked Kef-Pac." Steven said,"I just got word that Kef-Pac was taken to the hospital. I guess we don't have a main event now."
Al Fro vs. Hardcore Howie
Steven said,"Al Fro verses Hardcore Howie is up next. They have been fighting since last week when Al walked in on Howie in the bathroom." Ken said,"It may not sound like much but Al laughed at Howie's...size and I guess he didn't like that." Al Fro came out with Omsok in his hands. Steven said,"The crowd is on this man's side." Ken said,"No, they're not. They're with Omsok. Did you see the new UWM T-shirt? Al Fro wasn't on it, but Omsok was." Al slid into the ring as Howie's music hit. Howie ran to the ring, slid into the ring, and the bell sounded. Al Fro set Omsok down and Howie gave him a few double axe handles to the back of the head. Ken said,"Howie doesn't have a chance. It's two-on-one." Steven looked at Ken and shook his head. Howie slammed Al's head into the turnbuckle and rammed his fist into his kidneys over and over. Howie slid to the outside and brought a chair into the ring. He hit Al Fro with it but he didn't go down. He did it again and Al Fro remained standing. Howie went to hit him again but instead, kicked Al Fro in the nuts. Ken laughed and said,"I bet Al Fro never saw that." Al Fro dropped to the ground in pain and Hardcore Howie stomped away on him. Howie turned to the crowd and raised his arms. He glanced over at Omsok in the corner and a grin appeared on his face. Howie grabbed Omsok and ran backstage. Al Fro got up and gave chase. Steven said,"Falls count everywhere in this hardcore match." The cameraman and referee followed the wrestlers to the far backstage area. Howie set Omsok down and Al and him starting fighting again. Al slammed Howie's head into the wall and picked up a chair. Al went for a chairshot but Howie clotheslined him through the chair. Ken said,"Ouch! Al Fro not looking so good." Howie grabbed a chain and tied Al to a wall. Al struggled to get free but couldn't. Hardcore Howie said,"Now, I'll teach you never to mess with me!" Howie grabbed Omsok and shoved him in a microwave. He said,"I think 10 minutes on high will do just nicely." He started it and Al Fro screamed as loud as he could. Steven said,"Stop this ref! Somebody stop this!" Ken said,"NO! Not Omsok!" Al Fro started crying and Howie started,"Can't handle it baby? Handle this!" Howie smacked Al in the head with a steel chair and covered. The ref counted 1..2..3. Howie won. He left and officals came out. They untied Al and he went to the microwave but it was too late. Omsok was dead.
Dashi Nokia vs. Misery
The lights went down, and a spotlight came on in the ring. DaShi stood there
with a mic. "Misery, I got a bone to pick with you!" Yelled DaShi. "This
isn't on the card for tonight? What is going on?" said Ken. "I don't know but
DaShi looks pissed!" said Steven. "Misery, you think that you have beaten me.
You are wrong. I never said I quit, so the match is not over. Get your ass out
here now and let's finish it! Or are you too busy with your girlfriend. I saw
her the other day, you know. Check it out!" DaShi said as he pointed to the big
TV. A picture came up from a hand-held video camera. There was a house, and
coming out of it was Misery, wearing street clothes. As Misery drove away, the
cameraman gets out of the car and walks to the door. The door opens, and the
scene inside is a quiet house with tasteful furniture. "This was taped earlier,
as you can see. Upstairs is your girlfriend, isn't she? Wonder how she feels
right now. You were quite busy just a few minutes ago, but then again, 4
minutes of exercise is just not enough to get the old heart rate up, you know?"
said DaShi. Misery came racing down the ramp and into the ring. DaShi slammed
Misery in the face with the mic, then threw it out of the ring. DaShi began to
kick Misery in the leg as the bell rang. "I guess we got a match here. I think
it is an I quit match, to make up for the match that DaShi lost earlier to
Misery." said Steven. DaShi grabbed Misery and threw him into the ropes, then
clotheslined him down. DaShi picked him back up and did it again. DaShi picked
Misery up again but Misery delivered a low punch to the groin. DaShi backed up,
straightened up and smiled. "Oh shit, that is not a good sign! DaShi just took
that shot and smiled. I think he likes it!" yelled Steven. DaShi walked
towards Misery. Misery started to punch DaShi but DaShi just took the hits as
he advanced, smiling. Misery backed into the corner, still punching. DaShi
finally reached up, blocked a punch and kneed Misery in the groin. As Misery
started to go down, DaShi held him up and delivered a spin kick to the head.
Misery fell, holding his nose. DaShi grabbed the mic and said "Misery, look to
the screen. It is time for your lesson in PAIN!" A camera view of the locker
room showed a woman tied up in a locker, wearing a bikini. "This is a live
shot, and that is your girlfriend, isn't it? If you look carefully, Triple X
should be coming in there anytime. You know what he will do when he finds a
woman tied up in his locker, wearing a bikini? I would hate for anything bad to
happen." Misery got up and started for the ramp, but DaShi clotheslined him
down and kicked him in the face. DaShi then grabbed Misery, spun him so that he
faced the big TV, and placed him in the camel clutch. "A submission move, while
facing the TV showing his girlfriend tied up in the locker of Triple X! That is
terrible!" yelled Steven. "Yeah, but she is a looker. I wonder what Triple X
would do?" said Ken. As Misery looked at the screen, a shadow of someone coming
down the hall showed in the background. Misery tapped out. "DaShi wins!
Misery gave up!" yelled Ken. As DaShi let go, Misery ran out of the ring and up
the ramp, eyes glued to the Big TV as it powered down. "Awww, I wanted to see
what happens!" said Ken.
PD Derek in the Ring
PD Derek's music hit and he came out. Steven said,"The crowd is on their feet." He got into the ring and got a mic. He said,"Timothy Jones. You screwed me out of my title shot last week and now, I WANT YOU! At Unrestricted, I challenge YOU!" "No Chance" hit and Mr. Jones came out with a mic. He said,"I've never wrestled in my life and I'm not about to start but I have an idea. If I win, your paycheck goes to my daughter who you impregnanted." Derek said,"I'll agree but if I win, I GET CONTROL OF THIS WHOLE DAMN COMPANY!" Ken said,"WHAT!? Don't do it Timothy!" Mr. Jones said,"You're on....but you'll be in control for one day." Steven said,"That's not fair!" Derek said,"You've got a deal." Ken said,"I don't believe it!"
Kef-Pac vs. Marshall Law and Order
Steven said,"I don't know what's going to happen. Kef-Pac was taken to the hospital and he's supposed to be in the main event." Marshall Law and Order's music hit and they came out. Then, Triple X's music hit. Triple X came out with a referee's shirt on. Steven said,"What's going on!?" They all got into the ring and Triple X got a mic. He said,"Well, this was supposed a screwjob. Kef-Pac was supposed to come out and I'd come out as the special guest referee and Kef-Pac would get the shit beat out of him. Now, I guess I'll have to count Kef-Pac out. 1....2....3.." Steven said,"This is unfair. Law and Order almost beat Kef-Pac to death." Ken said,"Wait! Look at the Big TV!" An ambulance pulled up and Kef-Pac was driving it. Steven said,"I don't believe it. The ambulance drove down the entrance. When Triple X saw it, he stopped counting and stood still. The ambulance stopped in front of the ring, Kef-Pac climbed out, got on top of the ambulance, and jumped into the ring. Marshall Law and Order stood in front of him. Triple X was behind him. Kef-Pac turned around and Kef-Factored Triple X. Marshall Law and Order attacked him from behind. Kef-Pac lowblowed both of them and got a chair from the outside. He hit both of them. Ken said,"Kef-Pac isn't taking crap from anyone." Kef-Pac pinned both of them and lifted Triple X's hand for the 1..2..3. Steven said,"This wasn't an offical match but it looks like Kef-Pac has won this battle but what about next week and at Unrestricted."
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