Timothy Jones in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Saturday Night! OHHHHH DADDY! What a night! The Intercontinental Tournament begins tonight and ends at the next UWM Pay-Per-View, UWM UNRESTRICTED!"said Ken. Steven said,"That's right and we have lots more in store so let's get.." Steven was interupted by the Foundation's music. Timothy Jones came out with Triple X and John Carter. They got into the ring and Mr. Jones got a mic. He said,"Last Saturday, Triple X proved himself to be the TRUE World Champion. He not only did a good job at defending his title but at running UWM." The crowd boo'ed. Steven said,"Triple X screwed everyone." Mr. Jones continued,"But, I'm in control now and I think Triple X needs to prove himself to me. Tonight in this very ring, it will be Triple X, Misery, and LeReux." Triple X started screaming at Timothy. Mr. Jones said,"Wait. Wait. I wasn't done. You three will be teaming up against Kef-Pac, Macho Moose, and PD Derek!" Triple X grabbed the mic and said,"What are you trying to do old man! I'm not going to fight them. I'll have to take on Misery and LeReux too!" Timothy grabbed the mic back and said,"Trust me. I know what I'm doing. They have no chance." Steven said,"What does Mr. Jones have in store for tonight!"
Adam Blackman vs. Joe Hart
"This should be a great match,"said Ken. Joe Hart came out first and started walking down the ramp when Adam Blackman came running out of the back and jumped Joe with a clothesline from behind. Adam quickly picked Joe up and slammed him down on the steel ramp. Joe started to get up but was met with a flurry of kicks from Blackman. Blackman grabbed Joe by the hair and rolled him into the ring and slid in after him. "Blackman is dominating,"said Steven. Adam ddt'ed Joe and covered 1, kickout. Joe got up and rested in the corner. Adam charged at him, but Joe got up his foot and Adam hit hard, falling to the ground. Joe hopped up onto the second rope, Adam got up and Joe jumped off with a double axe-handle. Joe covers 1,2,kickout. "Almost,"said Ken. Joe picked Adam up and back-breakered him, then covered again for another 2. Adam got up slowly and Joe knocked him back down with a flying forearm. Joe bounced off the ropes and went for an elbow drop, but Adam moved out of the way and Joe hit the mat. Both men got up and started slugging it out, Joe got the advantage, and Adam fell into the corner. Joe climbed up and started punching with the crowd chanting,"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,...10". Adam fell out of the corenr flat on his face. Joe called for the Dullshooter and had it set up but Adam was blocking it and wouldn't turn over. Eventually Adam rolled and scrambled to the ropes. Joe let go but started stomping Adam in the corner unmercifully. The ref had to pry Joe off of Adam, but this allowed Adam to get up and exploded out of the corner with a huge clothesline on Joe. Adam grabbed Joe and hit a swinging neckbreaker. Adam grabbed Joe and stomped on him, then signalled for the Guileteen Leg Drop. Adam jumped to the top, quickly jumped off, and conected with his move and covered 1,2,3. "Adam moves on in the Intercontinental Tournament,"said Steven.
Slut TV:Rini
Big TV powered up and Womankind was shown. "Hello wrestling fans and welcome to Slut TV." "OH BOY!"said Ken,"This should be good." "Well fans, I have tracked Rini today and I have found her whoring herself to the backstage male pigs." The camera showed Rini in a revealing summer outfit. "Lets take a listen shall we.".. "Yeah, theres gonna be a Ms. Unrestricted contest at the next pay per view,"said Rini,"and I know for sure I'm in it." The camera showed Womankind fuming. "Yeah, and I heard that cheap slutty ass ho transvestite Womankind is in it too,"said Rini. Womankind was really mad now. "I want a match, not a stupid beauty contest!"said Womankind. Rini heard Womankind and chased her away. "BEAUTY CONTEST AT UNRESTRICTED!!!"screamed Ken,"I can't believe it!!"
Justin Edible vs. ReyMooseJr
Justin Edible walked out with his TV Title and a mic. He said,"Tonight, I'm the TV Champion and at Unresticted, I'll be the Intercontinental and TV Champion! Because that's not just sick. That's not just revolting. That's JUSTIN EDIBLE!" ReyMooseJr ran from the back and hit Justin from behind. Justin stumbled all the way to the ring. Rey threw him into the ring and got in. The bell rang and Rey and Justin were exchanging right hands. Justin whipped Rey against the ropes and went for a clothesline but Rey ducked and hit him with a moonsault. Justin got back up to receive dropkick after dropkick. Justin slid out of the ring and grabbed a chair. The ref went outside and yelled at him. Justin threaten to hit the ref when Rey went flying over the toprope onto Justin. Rey threw Justin into the ring and climbed the turnbuckle. Justin Edible slowly got up, Rey jumped off the turnbuckle, and hit the jumping ddt. Ken screamed,"OHHHHHH DADDY!" Rey pinned and the ref counted 1..2..3. ReyMooseJr won. Steven said,"I guess Justin Edible will just have to stay the TV Champion."
Howie Backstage
"Something is going on in the back,"said Steven,"Get that camera on." The Big TV powered on and Howie was shown walking to Roberts and Kaos's locker rooms. Howie pushed the camera man out of the way and kicked in the locker room door. "Where the hell are you Gao....HOLY FUCKING CHRIST!!" Howie ran out of the locker room gagging uncontrolably and spitting. Kaos ran out of the locker room him his pants down and Robert followed. "OH MY GOD!!!"screamed Ken,"THERE BOTH GAY!!" Howie was still gagging and Kaos and Robert started punching him down and stomping. Once Howie was down, they both celebrated with a hug and kiss before going back into the locker room.
Steven and Ken both looked at each other and were laughing, Ken said,"I guess Howie was right about Gaos."
Rini vs. Womankind
Womankind came storming to the ring and waited for Rini to come out. Rini's music hit and she emerged from the back with a mic. "Womankind, I have finally realized why you stalk us UWM women. Its cause your jealous. I mean face it, no fans like you, I mean why would they look at your basset hounds when they can look at my puppies?" Womankind had heard enough and stormed up the ramp. "BASSET HOUNDS!!"yelled Ken. Rini was ready and ducked Womankinds punch attempt, and retaliated with a flurry of right hands followed by a russian leg sweep onto the steel ramp. Rini grabbed Womankind by the hair and dragged her down to the ring and slammed her face into the ring, and then, threw her into the ring steps. "Ouchy wawa,"said Ken. "What the hell?"said Steven. Rini rolled Womankind back into the ring and slid in after her. The bell finally rang and Rini started stomping Womankind and threw her into the corner. Womankind was in the corner, Rini ran, and splashed her. She ran to the opposite corner. Rini ran, did a cartwheel, and spring back elbow smash that knocked Womankind down. Rini covers 1,2, kickout. Rini picked Womankind up and tried a bodyslam, but Womankind countered and hit a side suplex. "Finally Womankind is getting an offense going,"said Steven. "Are you a fan of basset hounds?"asked Ken. Womankind threw Rini into the ropes and back body droped her down. She picked Rini up by the hair and whipped her to the opposite corner. "Come on skank, you can't be tired after that. Your pimp puts you in more types of positions than any move I can do bitch." And Womankind started stomping Rini in the corner. Womankind grabbed Rini and cradle piledrove Rini in the center of the ring. "Great move by Womankind,"said Steven. "Do you have a crush on her or something"said Ken,"Every week, "Great Move by Womankind"." Womankind covers 1,2, kickout. "That was close,"said Ken. Rini slowly got up and Womankind clothslined her down. She gave Rini a knee drop to the back of her head, rolled her over, and covered 1,2, kickout again. Womankind picked Rini up and threw her into the corner and followed with a hard elbow. Womankind picked Rini up and put her on the top turnbuckle. She climbed up and tried to superplex Rini, but Rini hooked onto the top rope and threw Womankind down on her face. Rini recovered and waited. Womankind got up and Rini jumped off and spin kicked Womankind from the top. "WHAT A MOVE BY RINI!!"screamed Ken. Rini covered Womankind 1,2,3. "Great match,"said Steven. "The puppies beat the basset hounds,"said Ken.
Howie Interview
"Lets go backstage where James is going to interview Hardcore Howie,"said Steven. "Alright thanks guys,"said James. Howie walked onto the set still gagging and spitting. "Ok Howie, I understand you may still be visually shaken up, but I understand you have a special challenge for them,"said James. "Yeah, thats right James, those two fags.." gags and spits, "...I always told you people that they were gay. That is disgusting. Those are the people that give America a bad name. I wanna challenge them to a 2 on 1, yes ANOTHER 2 on 1 handicapped match, hardcore rules. Yeah I will put the title on the line. BUT if I win, which I will, they are out of UWM. No questions asked, they just get there stuff, and get there gay asses out of UWM." Gags, "If you two have the", Howie gags and just walks away. A camera man was in Kaos and Roberts locker room and were talking. "I'll watch your ass if you watch mine,"said Robert. "Deal,"said Kaos and they both hugged. "There you have it folks, thats gonna be a great match,"said Steven. Ken said,"Hey Steven, what do you call a gay dinosaur?", "I dunno what?", "A Verysoreauss."
Marshall Law and Order vs. Lance Fortune/Mr.Lucky
Steven said,"Marshall Law and Order will be in their first ever match. We'll get to see them in action." Marshall Law and Order came out to the crowd's boo's. Lance Fortune and Mr. Happy came out next, throwing money into the crowd. They all got into the ring and the bell rang. Marshall Law and Lance started first. Lance knocked Law down and mocked him for the crowd. Law got up and lowblowed Lance. Law whipped him against the ropes and gorilla press slammed him. Law tagged in Marshall Order. Order stomped away on Lance and chopped him over and over in the throat. Mr. Lucky was screaming for a tag, Order ran over, and nailed him with a clothesline. Mr. Lucky fell to the floor and was knocked out cold. Ken said,"COME ON, LANCE! YOU DON'T NEED LUCKY!" Order picked Lance up and inverted ddt'ed him. He pinned, the ref counted 1..2., and Lance Fortune kicked out. Order tagged Law and they double teamed Lance. Order put Lance on his shoulders as Law climbed the turnbuckle. Law did a flying crossbody and everyone fell down. Law layed on him for the pin, Order rolled back, and sat on Law for the pin too. Steven said,"Crap...how does anyone kick out of that?" The ref counted 1..2..3. Marshall Law and Order won.
AL Fro/Omsok Backstage
Steven said,"I'm getting word that we're going to check in with Al Fro and Omsok." The camera backstage showed Al Fro screaming at Omsok. He said,"ONE! ONE LOUSY PUSH-UP! COME ON! I bet your fat momma can do it." Omsok crawled away and Al Fro yelled,"QUITER! We'll never be Champions with your attitude!" Steven said,"He works that hamster too hard."
Kid Kaos/Hardcore Robert vs. Hardcore Howie
"Well its time for the career match,"said Ken. "But don't forget,"said Steven,"If Howie loses, he loses his hardcore title." Kaos and Robert came out and were boo'ed out of the building. Kaos began grabbing things from under the ring. "Edgecrusher" hit and Howie emerged from the back holding his ribs and limping. "That attack by Gaos and Rug-Burn hurt him bad,"said Ken. Robert charged up the ramp but Howie was playing possom and pulled out some mouth spray and a lighter. Howie light the lighter and shot some spray that burned Robert's face. "OH MY GOD!!!! He's BLIND!!!"screamed Steven. Robert rolled around on the ramp screaming in pain. Howie ran to the ring, slid in, and he and Kaos started slugging it out. Howie got the uperhand and bodyslammed Kaos down followed by an elbow drop for a 1 count. Kaos got up and tried a superkick, but Howie ducked and kicked Kaos in the gut, followed by a ddt. Howie covers again 1,2,kickout. Robert was getting up and started stumbling towards the ring. "I guess he isn't blind,"said Ken. Robert tried to step in the ring but got dropkicked the face and spilled outside the ring. Kaos had time to recover and clothslined Howie down. He picked up a chair and hit Howie on the back. Kaos swung again and hit Howie in the face this time, which dropped Howie to the ground. Kaos covers 1,2, kickout. Robert rolled into the ring and proceeded to stomp Howie until he rolled out of the ring. Kaos slid out and set up a table. The crowd chants "table, table". Robert brought Howie back into the ring and started kicking Howie and threw him into the ropes. Howie held onto the ropes and flipped off Robert. Robert charged at Howie, but Howie ducked, low bridged the ropes, and Robert went over the top through the table. "OOOHHHHHH DDDAAADDDYYYY!!!" Howie went outside and grabbed a table and slid it into the ring. He set it where Kaos was trying to revive Robert. Howie bounced off the ropes and dropkicked the table and it hit Kaos right in the mouth, knocking him out cold. "KAOS IS OUT!!"yelled Steven. Howie slid outside and rolled Robert into the ring. Howie whipped Robert into the ropes and suplexed him. Howie covered and got a 2 count. Howie was picking up Robert and got a lowblow. Robert set Howie up for his powerbomb and tried to pick Howie up, but Howie pulled himself free and kicked Robert low. "OOHHHHHHHDDDAAADYYYYY!!!!" Howie set Robert up and pumphandle-gutbustered him onto a chair. "ITS OVER!!!"screamed Ken. Howie scaled the ropes and waited for Robert to get up, Robert got up, Howie jumped, and hit the Toprope Bulldog. "KAOS & ROBERTS UWM CAREERS ARE OVER!!"yelled Steven. Howie rolled in Kaos, piled them on top of each other, and put his foot on them. The ref counted 1,2,3. "Bye bye Gaos, and that fag Rug-Burn,"said Ken. Howie grabbed his belt and left triumphant while Kaos and Robert were being escorted out of the building by the police.
Studly Boyz Backstage
Ken said,"Finally! Someone interesting is talking to me. Okay. Okay. The Studly Boyz are backstage with an announcement." The camera showed James with the Studly Boyz. Pa Pa Ray said,"Don't talk, Jamie. No one is here to hear you talk. They're here to see the sexiest men in UWM. They're here to see the Hardcore Tag Team Champions....but since Timothy Jones said that there's no more hardcore tag team division...we have to retire the belt. We don't really care. We're glad Gaos and Rug-Burn are out of UWM. Don't worry ladies. We can still go after the Tag Team Championship." D-Buff added,"Watch out, Sin and Pane. We want your belts!"
DaShi NoKia vs. Misery
"This is going to be a slobberknocker, an I QUIT match,"said Steven. "OOHHHHDDDADDYYY, I've been waiting for this one all night,"said Ken. DaShi came out and Misery soon followed and both started exchanging punches and kicks. Misery got the upperhand and began giving DaShi forearms and dropped DaShi with a gutbuster. Misery quickly followed with an armbar. DaShi got to the ropes and Misery let go. DaShi got up and charged at Misery with a dropkick. Misery stumbled back, tried a punch but spun around, DaShi locked on a full-nelson, and then, fell forward. "Woah.. What would you call that?"asked Ken. "I guess a full nelson face buster,"said Steven. DaShi aplied a camel clutch, but Misery wouldn't tap. DaShi let go and started to stomp Misery. Misery was getting up and DaShi tried a hurrincanrana, Misery countered and put him in a boston crab. DaShi quickly got to the ropes and Misery had to let go again. DaShi tried to run at Misery again but Misery just superkicked him down. Misery rolled out of the ring and grabbed a steel chair. He slid back in and waited for DaShi to get up. DaShi got up but seen Misery and when Misery swung the chair, he ducked and dropkicked the chair into Misery's face. DaShi screamed,"DO YOU QUIT!?" Misery didn't answer. DaShi grabbed the chair and started beating Misery. Misery got up slowly and DaShi went for another chair shot but Misery ducked and aplied the Dragon Sleeper. "Uh, oh,"said Ken. DaShi was trying to squirm free and was slowly being slowed down. Misery was trying to scissor around, but DaShi rolled, kicked around, and he had the armbuster on Misery. "WHAT A REVERSAL!!"screamed Steven. Misery was trying roll and was kicking and squirming but DaShi wouldn't let go. Misery wouldn't quit. He slid around and reversed it back into the Dragon Sleeper. "ANOTHER GREAT REVERSAL!!"said Ken. Misery had scissored around this time and DaShi slowly faded away and the ref called for the bell. "DaShi didn't quit, but he was choked out,"said Ken.
Kef-Pac/PD Derek/Macho Moose vs. Triple X/LeReux/Misery
"Well, here comes our main event Kef-Pac, PD Derek, and Macho Moose vs Triple X, Misery, and LeReux,"said Steven. Kef-Pac came out and the crowd erupted. He was about to his little pyro thing when his music was cut off by glass shatering and PD Derek coming out to an equally huge ovation. Kef-Pac got in Dereks face and the two started to trash talk, when Macho Moose came running out and seemed to talk the two out of fighting. Triple X came out, walked down the ramp and waited for Misery and LeReux. After about 20 seconds, he turned around wondering where the were when Kef-Pac slid out of the ring and started to beat on Triple X. Triple X ran around the ring trying to get away from Kef-Pac but was cut off by PD Derek and was hit by a steel chair from Macho Moose. Finally, Misery came out and quickly dropped Kef-Pac with a huge right hand. Triple X rolled into the ring and Macho Moose followed. Macho grabbed Triple X and went for the Jacksmack, but Triple X countered with a face breaker. LeReux made his way out and climbed into the ring, grabbed the ref, and tombstoned him. "What the hell!?!?"yelled Steven. "This isn't a match, its just a fight,"said Ken. Soon Kef-Pac and Misery were in the ring and everyone was fighting. PD Derek threw LeReux into the ropes and clothslined him down, but Lereux got right up. "EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL!"scream Steven. Sin and Pane came running out and slid into the ring. The Moose Pack came running down and slid in soon after. PD Derek grabbed Macho Moose and Sex-Factored him. Then, he grabbed ReyMooseJr and Sex-Factored him, but when he tried the Big Moose, Big Moose just grabbed him and Mooseslamed him. Triple X Sexdegreed Kef-Pac and D-Kef ran out. "ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!"screamed Ken. Sin was on the top rope and jumped on a huge clump of people knocking them down. The lights went out and a countdown began 5,4,3,2,1,.....BOOMMMMM."ITS Y2JERK!!"yelled Steven. Jerkicho ran down and was followed by almost the entire UWM roster. "OH MY GOD!!, Look theres Hardcore Howie, DaShi NoKia, Lance Fortune, AND LOOK HERE COMES THE FOUNDATION!!" Adam Blackman ran down into the ring with his kendo stick and started clearing house, he went to hit Misery but it didn't even phase him, Misery grabbed Adam and put him in the Dragon Sleeper. "LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE!! Justin Edible, HBK, ShiKariudo, Al Fro, Joe Hart, The Studleys, Mr. Lucky, OH MY GOD !!! 3S ON LEREUX!! I CAN'T KEEP UP!"screamed Steven. Triple X rolled out of the ring and was trying to escape but at the top of the ramp was the entire Women division. Tygress Pounced Triple X and all the women, except Womankind, started stomping on him. ReyMooseJr hit the jumping ddt on Hardcore Howie and Y2Jerk put the LionTwoTimer on Justin Edible. PD Derek gave Kef-Pac a second Sex-Factor. The Rouges were pounding on Pane and Al Fro Fro plowed Macho Moose. "THIS IS A GREAT NIGHT TO BE A UWM FAN!"said Ken. Bodies started to be thrown over the top and out. Y2Jerk was thrown out by PD Derek. LeReux had ReyMooseJr in a gorilla press and threw him over the top through the announce table. "OOHHHHH DDADYYY, right in fornt of us." Studleys were thrown out by Kef-Pac and Macho Moose. Soon, only Kef-Pac, Macho Moose, Misery, LeReux, and PD Derek were left in the ring. They all had a staredown before they started brawling again. "What's going to happen next week!?!?"yelled Steven.
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