Timothy Jones in the Ring
"Welcome to UWM Apocalypse only on Pay-Per-View. Tonight, the World Champion will be decided. It's 16 men for 1 belt. It's sure to be a great night. This is the last UWM show of 1999. I'm sure Timothy Jones has something big planned for tonight,"said Steven. Ken said,"Yeah like screwing Kef-Pac out of the belt." "No Chance in Hell," went over the speakers and Mr. Jones walked out. He got into the ring and said,"I want to welcome you all to Apocalypse, the Pay-Per-View where I get my way! Everyone has been guessing who's going to win the World Championship Tournament. There is no doubt in my mind that Joe Hart will take that belt. It will not be Kef-Pac. It will not be Hybrid. It will be Joe Hart. And if you're not down with that I got two words for ya. NO CHANCE!"
Al Fro/Mr. Happy vs. Studly Boyz
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH DDDADDDDDYYYYYYY" said Ken. "Yes this should be a very unholy match, with lots of blood" said Steven. Mr. Happy came out first and Al Fro next. The Studleys came out next with Little Dike Studly in a little cage which prompted Al to charge down the ramp. The Studleys double team Al until Mr. Happy ran down and clothslined Pa Pa Ray. D-Buff grabbed Al and threw him off the ramp threw a consessions table. "GOOD GOD!!!! AL FRO IS SNAPPED IN HALF!!" screamed Steven. Mr. Happy grabbed Pa Pa Ray and brainbustered him onto the steel entrance way ramp. "Well 2 are almost dead" said Ken. Mr. Happy and D-Buff battled up the ramp and into the back. Mr. Happy got the advantage with a thumb in the eye and grabbed a garbage can and hysterically. Mr. Happy grabbed D-Buff and slammed him into a wall and hit him again with the garbage can. D-Buff got up and Mr. Happy tried to body slam him but D-Buff reversed it into a small package 1,2, kickout. Pa Pa Ray started to move out on the entrance way and AL Fro showed some sign's of life too. Mr. Happy got up quikly and grabbed D-Buff and threw him threw a door into the parking lot. "We need 2 ref's here ppl, get another one out here" said Steven. Pa Pa Ray went down to where Al Fro was and covered a ref ran from the back and counted 1,2,kickout. "NOOOO, he kicked out" said Ken. Pa Pa Ray picked Al up and brought him down to ringside and tossed him into the ring. Pa Pa Ray looked under the ring and grabbed a ladder and a a table. Pa Pa Ray slid the ladder and table in and rolled into the ring. Pa Pa Ray set the table up. Al got up slowly and Pa Pa Ray grabbed him and threw him into the ropes and tried to flapjack. Al threw the table but Al Fro reversed and Fro plowed Pa Pa Ray threw the table. "COVER AL COVER!!!" yelled Steven. Al covered and the ref counted 1,2, kickout. "NOOOOOOOOOO, the Studley Boys aren't about to give up Little Dike Dudley just yet" said Ken. In the parking lot D-Buff slammed Mr. Happy into a car hood and side slammed him down. "They better stay away from my car" said Ken. "Mine too" said Steven. D-Buff grabbed Mr. Happy and slammed him inot a support post. "D8, hey those are our parking spots Ken!!!" yelled Steven. D-Buff grabbed Mr. Happy and slammed his face into Stevens car and left a big dent in the hood. "Dammit." "Ha Ha Ha." D-Buff threw Mr. Happy over Stevens car hood onto the other side. D-Buff went to slam Mr. Happy into Ken's car but Mr. Happy blocked it and threw D-Buff threw Ken's cars winsheild. "DAMMIT!!!!! YOU STUPID MR. HAPPY!!! THATS A BRAND NEW CAR!!!" screamed Ken. Mr. Happy pulled D-Buff out and tried to throw him back into Ken's car but D-Buff reversed it and put Mr. Happy threw Kens cars back windshield. "Wheres my gun?" D-Buff started running back to the ring. Al Fro set the ladder up and climbed it. Pa Pa Ray slowly got up and Al missile drop kicked him. "OH MY GOD!!! yelled Steven. "My car, my poor brand new car" said Ken. Al went for the cover when D-Buff was emerged onto the entrance ramp with a mic and picked up the cage Little Dike Studly was in. "Hey Al, you big idiot you stay right there in the ring or I will throw him off the ramp like I did to you. Now if you don't lay down and let Pa Pa Ray pin you I will steel Little Dike Dudley and you will never see him again." Mr. Happy came from he the back with a bumper in his hand and creamed D-Buff in the back. "Hey does the lisence plate say KenGr8?" asked Steven. "Yup it does." Ken started crying. Al Fro picked Pa Pa Ray up and hit the Fro plow again and covered 1,2,3. "Al Fro was won back Osmok!!" said Steven. Mr. Happy laughed and walked to the back while Al Fro celebrated. "My car..."
Hybrid vs. Triple X
"Well this should be good" said Steven. "The last match these two had was won quick by Hybrid so I expect Triple X to be more prepared this time" said Ken. Hybrid came out first and looked focused. Triple X came out throwing porn into the crowd and got a huge pop. Triple X slid into the ring and Hybrid stomped him. Hybrid picked Triple X up and threw him into the ropes, Triple X ducked Hybrid's attempt at a clothsline bounced off the ropes and did a flying shoulder block. Triple X picked Hybrid up and shoved him into the corner. Triple X punched and stomped Hybrid until the ref broke it up. Hybrid exploded out of the corner and surprised Triple X with a drop kick. Hybrid picked Triple X up and did a suplex but floated over into a pin, 1,kickout. Triple X got up and tried to kick Hybrid but Hybrid grabbed his leg and did a dragon corkscrew leg whip. Hybrid got up and screamed "Join us Mr. Jones!! Its the ONLY way." "What the hell" said Steven. "Mr. Jones has had people attack him at several differant times" said Steven. Hybrid went onto the ring apron and waited for Triple X to get up. Hybrid sling shoted off the top rope and hit a drop kick. Triple X rolled out of the ring from the velocity of the drop kick. Hybrid followed and threw Triple X into the steel stairs. Triple X got up slowly. "Ouch that had to WATCH OUT" Hybrid went to throw Triple X into the announce table but Triple X reversed it and Hybrid went into the table. Triple X grabbed the steel ring steps and walked over to Hybrid. Trile X nailed Hybrid in the head. "You could fell the vibrations in the steel" said Ken. The ref warned Triple X that he would disqualify him if he did that again. Triple X grabbed the ref and set him up for a sexdegree. The crowd roared and Triple X sexdegreed the ref. Hybrid got up and grabbed a chair. Hybrid snuck behind Triple X and when he turned around Hybrid smoked Trile X with a chair. Hybrid threw the chair down and did the Hybrid DDT onto the chair. Hybrid covered and John Carter ran out of the back and counted 1,2,3. "Thats the fastest 3 count I've ever seen" Steven said. John Carter grabbed the chair and hit Hybrid with it. John Carter held the chair in the air and gloated. Triple X got up and chased Mr. Carter into the back.
ReyMooseJr vs. Pretty Fly Danny Smith
Rey ran out and jumped in the ring. "Rey's been waiting for this for a long time. I'll bet he can't wait to get his hands on Pretty Fly," Steven said. Pretty Fly walked out. "Pretty Fly looks pretty troubled," Ken said. Pretty Fly got in the ring and grabbed the mic. "Rey, I don't want to hit you, and I'm not going to. I won't fight you!" Danny said. The ref rang the bell. Rey went over to Pretty Fly and started punching him, but Pretty Fly blocked all the shots and didn't attack Rey. "He really won't fight him," Steven said. The Big TV came on and showed Womankind backstage just outside the Moosepack locker room. Womankind said, "Hello again wrestling fans, and welcome to another episode of Slut TV. Last week, we saw Rini whoring around with Rey, and now this week, we're going to try for an encounter with the Queen Slut herself." Womankind snuck into the Moosepack locker room and saw Rini. Womankind went behind Rini and knocked her out with a steel chair to the back of the head. Womankind put Rini over her shoulder and ran off. Rey jumped out of the ring and ran backstage as fast as he could. The ref counted to 10, and raised Pretty Fly's hand. "Rey just got counted out! Pretty Fly won!" Steven yelled.
masked man vs. Kevin Hash
Hash walked out to the ring. "This will be Hash's first match since he was suspended for drug use. I understand he's gone through serious rehab, and is now being allowed to come back and wrestle in UWM," Steven said. The Masked Guy ran out and jumped into the ring. "No one really knows who this Masked Guy is. He could be anyone in UWM, or anyone in the world for that matter," Steven said. The ref rang the bell and Hash started pounding away on the Masked Guy. Hash gave him a few hard punches, and cornered him back in a turnbuckle. Hash gave him three big knees in the corner, and then choked him by putting his foot into the Masked Guy's throat. The ref counted to 4 and Hash broke the hold. Hash whipped the Masked Guy off the ropes, and gave him a big boot. "Kevin Hash is looking good tonight. He has totally dominated so far," Steven said. "Yeah, you probably think a lot of guys look good though," Ken said. "Yeah, anyone could win this tournament...HEY! Not in that way!" Steven yelled. Ken laughed while Hash put the Masked Guy in a hammerlock. Hash put his arms up and went to tear off the Masked Guy's mask. The crowd cheered. "DO IT! DO IT!" Ken screamed. "Take it off!" Steven said. "That's probably not the first guy you've yelled that at, huh Steven?" Ken said. Hash went to take off the mask, but the Masked Guy lowblowed him. "The Masked Guy disguised that very well. I don't think the ref saw that," Steven said. Hash was stunned, and the Masked Guy grabbed Hash and did a tornado DDT out of the corner. The Masked Guy covered 1...2...3! "Wow, 2 offensive moves from the Masked Guy and he got a pin. This guy could be tough to beat," Steven said.
ReyMooseJr Search for Rini
Rey ran off backstage towards the Moosepack locker room. "Where's that idiot going? He just got himself counted out...He doesn't even know where Womankind took Rini!" Ken said. When he got there, he met up with the Big Moose. The Big Moose went to Womankind's locker room, and Rey went to the parking lot. "I guess they're checking the two most probable areas that Womankind took Rini to," Steven said. Rey saw Womankind about to throw Rini into an oncoming car in the parking lot. Rey ran over and clotheslined Womankind. Rey grabbed Rini, put her over his shoulder, and took her back to the Moosepack locker room. "You have to wonder how much Rini is injured. She still has to wrestle in that 4-way mud wrestling cage match tonight," Steven said. "She'll be fine, I'm sure she's been hit on more than that before," Ken said. Steven sighed and said, "Anyway, let's get back to the action."
Meat Package vs. KidMike
"Well this should be very....interesting" said Ken. "Both suck but what the hell, as long as they hurt each other." "Quick its already started" said Steven. A camera cut to the back and Kidmike and Meat were slugging it out. "This is a Meat locker leather strap match"said Ken. "The cold will make the leather hurt more OOOOOHHHHHH DDAAAADDDYYYYY!!". Meat Package gained the advantage and threw Kidmike into a pile of ground beef. Kidmike made a beefball and threw it and it hit Meat Package in the face and got in his eyes. "That was a beefball!!!" said Steven. "He'll lose" said Ken. "I got a feeling, i bet you a hundred bucks Kidmike wins" said Steven. "Your on, might as well give me the money now, idiot" mumbled Ken. Kidmike did a low blow and kicked out Meat Packages knee. Kidmike grabbed the strap and whipped Meat Package repeatily. "You can here the echo out here" screamed Steven. Kidmike grabbed Meat Package and slammed him into the side of the big meat locker and body slammed him down. Kidmike went for the door but Meat Package grabbed the strap and pulled Kidmike toward him and did a drop toe hold and Kidmike fell into a big slab of ribs. Meat Package got up and started to whip Kidmike. Meat Package grabbed the strap and pulled Kidmike toward him and tried to clothsline him down but Kidmike ducked and hit a big neck breaker. KidMike grabbed a big ham and threw it at Meat Package. The ham hit Meat right in the face busting him open. "Holy cripes, a ham busted Meat Package open" said Ken. Kidmike went to pick Meat up but Meat hit a low blow and ddt'ed Kidmike on the hard floor. Meat Package picked Kidmike up and went to throw him into the side but did not realize that the door was there. Kidmike tried to get to the door but Meat Package over powered him and pulled him back. Kidmike hit a reverse enziguri. Meat Package was bleeding all over the floor. Kidmike jumped and grabbed a bar and waited for Meat to get up. Meat got up and Kidmike lowered down and did a hurincanrana. Meat Packages head rolled and hit the wall. Kidmike was busy posing for the cameras. "See, he could get out right now and win the match, but he sucks and is retarted" said Ken. Meat Package slowly got up and Kidmike tried a spear but Meat moved and Kidmike hit a wall of ice. Meat Package ran towards the door but Kidmike used all his might to hold Meat Package from getting there.Kidmike reversed the momentum and Meat went flying into the corner and a slab of beef fell on him and pinned him in the corner. Kidmike signalled for his splash. "Move Meat Package come on MOOOVVEE!!!!"screamed Ken. "GO KIDMIKE!!!!!!!"yelled Steven. The crowd was chanting Kidmike Kidmike. Kidmike ran and squashed Meat Package. Meat Package had the wind knocked out of him. Kidmike ran to the door and stepped out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled Ken, "AHHHHH,you suck Meat Package!!!!!!!. "Give me my hundred bucks Ken!!!" said Steven. Kidmike was yelling and screaming "I WON I WON I WON!!!!!". A camera showed Meat Package crying and then he just passed out from loss of blood. "I guess you could say Kidmike kicked some ass, huh Ken?" sneered Steven. "Bite me" said Ken. Kidmike paraded around the back while Meat Package recieved some medical attention.
Sin vs. Kevin Michaels
"Well, this should be a good one" said Steven, "HBK has to use his speed to win this one." HBK came out first and grabbed a mic. "Hello Ladies, you know the big Kevbowski is a lot like a harley davidson motorcycle, you keep reving my engine and the muffler is gonna let out a big BANG." The women in the crowd screamed. Sin came out running and slid into the ring. Sin ran at HBK and the bell rang. HBK moved and Sin hit the turnbuckle. HBK kicked and stomped Sin and tried to throw him into the opposite corner but Sin reversed and HBK hit the other turnbuckle very hard. "I guess that halted all of HBK's momentum" said Ken. Sin did an elbow drop and covered, 1,2, kickout. Sin picked HBK up and punched him in the throat which sent HBK back to the ground. Sin waited for HBK to get up and suplexed him down. "Sin is all business tonight" said Ken. HBK slowly got up and Sin tried a clothsline but missed and HBK superkicked Sin in the knee. "OH MY GOD!!!! Sin's knee" screamed Steven. Sin looked at HBK and just pummeled him to the ground. "How is he even standing!!" screamed Steven. Sin picked HBK up and set him up for a sitdown piledriver. Sin hit the sitdown piledriver and climbed to the top rope, waited for HBK to get up. HBK slowly arose and Sin jumped and connected with the top rope clothsline. "Its over" said Ken. Sin picked up HBK and put him on the top rope. "What is he doing?" asked Ken. Sin climbed the ropes and turned HBK around and set him up for a tombstone. "No way, this can't happen" said Steven. The ref pleaded for Sin to not do it. Sin just laughed and jumped off the top and tombstoned HBK. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DDDDDDDAAAADDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYY" yelled Ken, "Count to a million, its over." Sin folded HBK's arms over his chest and placed his pinky finger on HBK, 1,2,3. "Sin goes on to the next round in rather a totally dominant match" said Ken. Sin grabbed a mic "This is only the beggining, I will take back the title and destroy the entire UWM!!!" SIn left. HBK slwoly got up and the crowd went nuts. Chants of HBK broke out. "How is he even standing" said Steven. Ken said "Well like he's always said, HBK is always able to rise to the occasion."
Hardcore Howie vs. Kid Kaos
"These 2 are no strangers to each other many times Hardcore Howie and Kid Kaos have fought over the Hardcore title" said Ken. "Yes this should be a great match" said Steven. Kid Kaos came out first and was focused. Hardcore Howie came out and stopped at the top of the entrance way with mic in hand. "Kid Kaos, you just don't get it do you? No you don't, you can never ever beat Hardcore Howie. Remember when I kicked you and Candyman's asses? Of course you do. It seem's like you two are having some trouble with your marri..excuse me friendship. But does the Hardcore Howie, the personification of hardcore care, NO!" Howie ran into the ring and Kaos started stomping him down. "Reminder this is a tournament match folks, its not hardcore and not for the title" said Ken. Kaos picked Howie up and threw him into the ropes and hit a big shoulder block which sent Howie outside the ring threw the ropes. Kaos ran bounced off the ropes and suicide planchad Howie which sent both down. Kaos picked Howie up and tried to slam his face into the steps but Howie reversed it and Kaos was slammed into the steps. Howie grabbed Kaos by the hair and threw him in to the steel guard rail. Howie picked Kaos up and threw him into the ring. Howie climbed the ropes and when Kaos got up Howie hit a big plancha off the top into a cover 1,2,kickout. Howie grabbed Kaos and hit a russian legsweep. Howie went outside the ring and got a chair. "Wait this isn't hardcore, Howie your gonna get disqualified, don't do it" said Ken. Kaos got up and Howie went to hit him but the ref grabbed the chair. Howie spun around and creamed the ref with the chair but when Howie turned around to Kaos, Kaos kicked Howie in the stomach causing Howie to drop the chair and ddt'ed Howie onto the chair. Kaos covers, "Theres no ref you moron!!!" screamed Ken and Steven at the same time. Kaos climbed the top rope and went for his Mosh Dive when Howie seen it coming and drop kicked him in the gut. Another ref came out and Howie and Kaos were sluging it out. The ref tried to seperate them but Howie and Kaos punched the ref and started punching again. Kaos gained the advantage with a lowblow and piledrived howie down. Kaos climbed the ropes again. "Who's that!!!" yelled Steven, "Wait thats Candyman!" Candyman climbed in the ring and grabbed Howie and set him up for the CDT when Kaos jumped off the top and hit Candyman with the Mosh Dive. "Was Candyman trying to help Kaos?" asked Steven. Kaos punched Candyman and kicked him out of the ring and said "I can beat Howie myself bitch!!" Kaos went to pick Howie up Howie hit a low blow, and set up for the pump handle gut buster. Howie connected and scaled the ropes. Kaos got up but knew that the bulldogg was coming and when Howie jumped Kaos ran away and Howie hit the mat hard. "Boy these two really hate each other" said Steven. Kaos threw Howie into the corner and kicked him a few times and set Howie up for the prepbuster. Kaos ran to the other corner and taunted Howie. Candyman jumped onto the apron with a steel chair and smacked Kaos in the back of the head knocking Kaos out cold. "Theres a good team" said ken, "didn't they used to be best friends?" Howie dragged his body across the ring rolled Kaos over and put his hand on his chest. The second ref lowly crawls over, 1,2,3. "Howie wins a marathon match " said Steven. "That was a wild one" said Ken, "Geez, I have a feeling Kaos and Candyman will be meeting sometime in the future." "Well duh."
Big Moose vs. DaShi NoKia
"OHHHHHHH DADDYYYYYYYY this is gonna be a great match! A cage match for the TV title!" Ken screamed. "Yes, but this is no ordinary cage match. In most cage matches, you have to get out of the cage to win, but in this one, you have to pin your opponent to win. You cannot climb out of the cage because it has a top on it, and the door is locked," Steven said. DaShi and the Big Moose both climbed into the cage. The timekeeper on the outside locked the door, leaving just the Big Moose, DaShi, and a ref inside the cage, and the match started. DaShi ran over and punched the Big Moose a few times and backed him into a corner. DaShi gave the Big Moose a few knife-edge chops. "Look, those chops aren't doing anything...Except making the Big Moose mad. DaShi's not going to have any luck if he continues to work on that upper body of the Big Moose," Steven said. The Big Moose grabbed DaShi by the throat and threw him into the corner. The Big Moose started chopping DaShi, but DaShi kicked the Big Moose in the nuts and the Big Moose fell down to his knees. "All legal in this matchup," Steven said. Ken laughed and said, "Now that's what I call working on the lower body." DaShi went up to the top rope and waited for the Big Moose to get up. DaShi tried a double axehandle from the top rope, but the Big Moose moved and punched him in the stomach as he came down. The Big Moose threw DaShi hard into the cage, then headed over to the door of the cage. DaShi got up quickly and rammed the Big Moose's face into the steel. DaShi went over, climbed to the top rope, and waited for the Big Moose to get up. DaShi flew off and jumped at the Big Moose, but the Big Moose caught him. DaShi swung around and gave the Big Moose a hurricanrana. "Oh my GOD! DaShi just gave the Big Moose a huge hurricanrana off the top rope!" Steven yelled. DaShi covered 1...2..Kick out. "I can't believe the Big Moose kicked out!" Steven yelled. DaShi pulled the Big Moose to his feet and threw him off the ropes. The Big Moose reversed it and sent DaShi down with a big boot. The Big Moose signalled for the Moose Slam. The Big Moose picked DaShi up, but DaShi spun around and countered it into the Arm Buster. The Big Moose got over to the ropes and the ref told DaShi to break the hold, but he wouldn't. "He can't be disqualified if he doesn't break the hold...Can he?" Ken asked. "I don't know..." Steven replied. DaShi finally broke the hold and stomped on the Big Moose. The Big Moose got up in a fit of rage. "The Big Moose doesn't look too happy about that hold not being broken..." Steven said. The Big Moose picked DaShi up with his other arm, and Moose Slammed him to the mat. "HE JUST MOOSE SLAMMED DASHI WITH HIS WRONG HAND! He couldn't use his usual hand because of that Arm Buster," Steven yelled. The Big Moose covered 1...2...3! Steven screamed, "NEW TV CHAMP! NEW TV CHAMP! THE TV BELT IS GOING HOME WITH THE PACK!"
The Rage Phone Call
A camera peeked into The Rage's Locker Room. Sin was on the phone. He said,"Ok. I understand. We'll get rid of him. It'll be no problem." Sin hung up. Steven said,"What the hell was that about?"
RoadFoxx vs. EdgE666
Steven said,"It's gonna be the RoadFoxx verses EdgE666 in this next match." RoadFoxx came out and got into the ring. He said,"It's time once again for everybody to come aboard the FOXXXXXX TRAIN!" Ken screamed,"I GOT MY TICKET!" The lights went out and "AHHH...get ready," could be heard all through the arena. When the lights came back on, EdgE666 was in the ring and RoadFoxx was covered in blood. Steven said,"RoadFoxx was given a blood bath!" RoadFoxx ran at EdgE666 and EdgE666 countered with a spear. Steven said,"EdgE666 is a former World Champion and former IC Champion and Foxx has never even had a belt. Anyone can see where this match is going." Ken said,"If EdgE666 kills him, can I have his Foxxy Ladies?" EdgE666 picked up Foxx and whipped him to the corner. EdgE666 ran at him but Foxx nailed him with a boot to the face. RoadFoxx went for a clothesline but EdgE666 caught him and did the Moose Spiral to him. Ken said,"It's all over." EdgE666 covered. The ref counted 1..2. and RoadFoxx kicked out. Steven asked,"How'd he do that?" Ken said,"I don't know but look over there!" The Rage was coming down the entrance way. EdgE666 went for the Cutting EdgE on RoadFoxx but he countered with a German Suplex with knocked the ref down. The Rage got into the ring and knocked Foxx away. They stomped away on EdgE666. The Rogues pulled a table and a chair into the ring. Sin, Pane, Adam, and Lukas held EdgE666 down on the table. Sin said,"No one can help you EdgE666. Look." The Big TV showed the Moose Pack Locker Room with a forklift blocking the door and the Moose Pack trying to get out. Jesse flew off the turnbuckle and hit EdgE666 with a Senton Bomb through the table. Steven said,"Dear God NO!" Sin picked EdgE666 up and set him up for a Tombstone Piledriver on the chair. Pane climbed the toprope. Steven said,"Stop the damn match! Get up ref!" Pane jumped off and pushed EdgE666 down as Sin Tombstoned him on the chair. Ken said,"EdgE666 isn't getting up." Adam Blackman hit EdgE666 in the ribs over and over. He stopped when the ref was coming around. The Rage pulled RoadFoxx on top of EdgE666 and left. The ref counted 1....2....3. RoadFoxx wins and advances. Officals came from the back and took EdgE666 off in a stretcher. Steven said,"We'll tell you about EdgE666's condition when we get the word. The Rage got that phone call about getting rid of someone. Could that have been about EdgE666? And who was on the phone?"
Kef-Pac vs. Macho Moose
D-Kef's music start playing and everyone cheered, Kef-Pac walked out and the crowd started chanting "Kef-Pac". "Its a hell house! There crowd is on their feet!" said Steven. He walked into the ring and grabbed the mic and said "Macho Moose, bring your fat ass out here! Oh and, I got two words for ya, KRAM IT!" Macho Moose came out with his music playing. He had a mic and said "Kef-Pac I'm gonna make you kram some MOOSE tonight!" Macho Moose ran into the ring and Kef-Pac started stomping on him. "We have a slobberknocker here!" said Steven. "It looks like Kef-Pac is using his quickness against Macho Moose." said Ken. Kef-Pac irish whipped Macho Moose into the ropes but Macho Moose reversed it and did a clothesline. "Macho Moose almost took Kef-Pac's head off with that!" said Steven. Kef-Pac slowly got up and recieved a kick to the ribs. He fell back down and Macho Moose stomped on him. "Macho Moose is treating Kef-Pac like a rat." said Ken. Macho Moose picked Kef-Pac up and did a verticle suplex on Kef-Pac. Macho jumped high and did a splash but Kef-Pac rolled away. "Nice move by Kef-Pac, if he got hit by Macho Moose, this would've been over by now." said Steven. Kef-Pac whipped Macho Moose into the corner and did his spin kick combo. Macho Moose fell out of the corner. "Nice move by Kef-Pac, using his speed, once again to gain momentum." said Ken. He whipped Macho Moose against the ropes but Macho Moose reversed Kef-Pac and did a powerslam. "Nice move by Macho Moose!" said Steven. "Hey look! Its Timothy Jones taking a seat on the ramp watching Kef-Pac and Macho Moose battle!" said Ken. Macho Moose went for the pin..1..2. kick out. "That was a close call!" said Steven. Kef-Pac and Macho Moose were exchanging blows in the ring. He grabbed Macho Mooses hand and did a back heel kick. He whipped Macho and did a spinning heel kick. Kef-Pac kicked Macho Moose in the stomach and did Kef-Factor. "It's over! Kef-Factor! Kef-Factor!!!!" said Steven. Kef-Pac pinned..1..2..3!! Kef-Pac. Timothy Jones glared at Kef-Pac and threw the chair off the ramp. Mr. Jones walked off the stage. "I don't think Mr. Jones is happy about the win of Kef-Pac!" said Ken.
Adam Blackman vs. Joe Hart
"Woah, somethings going on in the back" said Steven. The camera shown Joe Hart and Adam Blackman fighting. Adam used his karate skill's to his advantage and spin kicked Joe in the face. Adam brought Joe toward the entrance way and slammed him into the side of the entrance way. Adam brought Joe down to the ring and slammed him into the ring steps. Adam reached under the ring and grabbed his kendo stick and hit Joe in the back repeatily. "The match hasn't even started so its not a dq" said Ken. Adam went to hit Joe again but Joe moved and Adam's kendo stick hit the ring post and the vibrations hurt his hands. Joe kicked Adam in the stomach and slammed him into the steel guard rail. "These two have had heated hardcore battles before" sadi Steven. Joe threw Adam in the ring and the match finally began. Joe hit a russian leg sweep and applied the dullshooter. Adam crawled over to the ropes very fast but Joe wouldn't let go. At the refs count of 4 Joe let go and kicked Adam in the back. Joe picked Adam up and did a back breaker. "Joe Hart is the smartest wrestler in UWM" said Ken, "He sides with Mr. Jones which is really smart, and look how he attacks his back softening him up for the dullshooter." Joe threw Adam into the ropes and hit a big spinebuster. Joe picked adam up and went for a sidewalk slam but Adam hooked his arm around Joe's head and hit a big ddt. Adam picked Joe up and threw Joe into the ropes and tried a hurrincanrana but Joe reversed it into a powerbomb and covered 1,2,kickout. "2 and 3/4ths" said Steven. Joe grabbed the kendo stick and said to the ref "You disqualify me, YOUR FIRED" and Joe started hitting Adam in the back. The ref had to let it go. Joe took the end of the kendo stick and rammed it into Adam's back. "Joe Hart is in the best condition I've seen him in" said Steven. Joe threw the kendo stick out of the ring and applied the dullshooter again. Adam had no choice but to tap out. "Joe Hart wins rather impressivly" said Ken. "Are you blind!! He hit Adam Blackman in the back like 20 times with the kendo stick!"
Hybrid vs. Pretty Fly Danny Smith
Pretty Fly Danny Smith danced out into the ring. He did a little dance to his music. "Danny Smith loves to have fun!" said Steven. "It's Pretty Fly Danny Smith, Steven, learn that." said Ken. "Would you just shut your mouth Ken?" said Steven. The lights turned out and Hybrid walked out. He had a mic and said "Timothy Jones made a bad mistake not joining with us. And I'm going to injure another one of his weak wrestlers." "Your calling me weak you jewish doughnut!" said Pretty Fly Danny Smith. Hybrid and Danny Smith got it on inside the ring. Danny went for a underhook suplex but Hybrid blocked it and did a samoan drop. Hybrid pinned..1..2. kick out. "Wow! That would've been a quick match!" said Steven. "Hahahaha! Steven , you sound like a jewish doughnut! hahahaha!" said Ken. Danny Smith went for a drop kick but missed. Hybrid grabbed his legs and did a tilt-a-world-slam backbreaker. He picked up Smith and did a chestbreaker. "Danny is taking a lot of punishment!" said Ken. "Now you can be the jewish doughnut." said Steven. Hybrid went for the pin ..1..kick out. Hybrid picked Danny Smith up and threw his head into the turnbuckle. "It's the Hybrid DDT!" said Steven. Hybrid set up for the Hybrid DDT. Danny Smith reversed it into the bridging suplex, pin..1.. kicked out of the move. Danny Smith went for a clothesline but missed and came back with a tackle. He punched Hybrid until he was knocked out. Danny went for an enziguri. "Nice athletic move by Pretty Fly Danny Smith!" said Ken. Danny did a firemans carry. He ran off the ropes and did an elbow drop. "Here it comes! The double powerbomb!!!!" said Steven. Pretty Fly Danny Smith did the double powerbomb. He started doing his dance around Hybrid. He told the ring announcer to play his music. He started dancing again. "Why doesn't this doofus pin?" said Steven. "He's partying! He beat Hybrid brutally and can kill some time out with his entertainment." said Ken. "This isn't entertainment." said Steven. Hybrid found enough energy to stand up. He did a snapmare and kicked Danny in the spine. He climbed the toprope, jumped off, and hit Danny with his head. "That was the Hybrid Headbutt!" said Steven. He set up for the Hybrid DDT. "It's over." said Ken. Hybrid DDT him into the mat. He pinned Danny Smith..1..2..3!!! "Hybrid advances into the next round!" said Steven.
masked man vs. Sin
The Masked Guy walked out, without music, and to little crowd response. "The crowd really doesn't get pumped up for that guy in the mask...I wonder who he is." said Steven. Then Sin walked out and everybody boo'ed. "Sin and The Rage attacked EdgE666 a while ago, I wonder if the Moose Pack wants revenge." said Ken. Sin started it quickly pounding away on the Masked Guy, kicking him down into the corner. When the ref pulled Sin away, Sin shoved him done, making the ref fall all the way outside. "Major hangtime there" said Ken. The Masked Guy seized the moment and kicked Sin in the nuts, knocking him down. Masked Guy continued to stomp away at Sin until The Rage showed up at the entranceway. They only watched, but it distracted Masked Guy enough to draw him to the ropes. Suddenly, Crispy showed up and beat up on Pane! "Just getting him back for what he did.." Steven said. The rest of The Rage beat up on Crispy until Joe Hart showed up, and they brawled backstage. Meanwhile, Sin rolled up Masked Guy, but there was no ref to count. Sin tried to pull back in the ref, and even slid outside to revive him, but Masked Guy dove off the ropes and hit Sin with a big missle dropkick, also hitting the referee in the process. Masked Guy threw Sin back in the ring, but Sin came right back with a big Haymaker and sharp kick to the gut. Sin picked up Masked Guy and signalled for the Tombstone. "A bit early, Sin?" questioned Steven. Suddenly, Big Moose, ReyMooseJr, and Macho Moose ran out, Rey carrying a ring bell. "PAYBACKS A BITCH, SIN!!!" yelled Steven. "STEVEN!" exclaimed Ken, "Watch your language!" Rey slid in and clocked Sin with it, and he fell over with the Masked Guy. Macho Moose revived Masked Guy, and once he was awake, he hit Sin with a Reverse Jumping Piledriver. Steven said,"That masked guy is strong!" Meanwhile, Big Moose woke up the ref and made him count. 1.....2...3! Masked Guy wins and advances in the tourney, with help to the Moose Pack.
DDT vs. Rini vs. Womankind vs. Sexy Della
"This is the match I've been waiting all night for! OHHHHHH DADDYYYY I CAN HARDLY WAIT!" Ken screamed. "This will be a 4-way women's mud wrestling cage match for the Women's title. The cage has a door, but it will be locked, so the only way to get out of the cage is to climb out. Whoever is the first out of the cage will be the Women's champion. In case some of you haven't seen a mud wrestling match before, it's a square ring by the entrance ramp that has a foot high wall around the square. The inside is filled with a few inches of mud. This is a normal wrestling thing but UWM is adding a cage that builds out of that foot high wall on the outside," Steven explained. "And the most important thing, ALL THE WOMEN ARE IN BATHING SUITS!" Ken said. "Yes, that too...And Tygress will be the special guest ref in this matchup," Steven said. The 5 women came out and got in the cage. "Hey, what gives? Womankind isn't in a bathing suit...Oh well, no big loss," Ken said. Tygress grabbed a mic and said, "Since Womankind tried to off one of her opponents earlier tonight, the last one out of the cage has to spend one night with Triple X!" Ken said, "WHOA! That's huge news!" Steven said, "Tygress can do that, she's the ref." Tygress called for the bell to start the match while the women were still complaining. Rini and Womankind went right after each other. "That wasn't expected at all," Steven said sarcastically. "Oh man, I wish I could get in there with them! I'd show them who their daddy is!" Ken said. Della and Tracy started pounding on each other while Rini and Womankind were rolling around in the mud trying to gain the upper hand with some punches. Womankind got up, grabbed Rini's hair, and threw her down in the mud. "You tramp, get up! Or are you so used to being on your back now that you can't!?" Womankind yelled at Rini. Tracy whipped Della into the side of the cage, and then clotheslined her down. Tracy waited for Della to get up, then gave her a Superkick. Tracy began climbing the cage. Womankind was still pounding away on Rini in the mud. Tracy jumped over the side of the cage. "Diamond Dallas Tracy is the new Women's champion!" Steven yelled. "The match isn't over yet though, we have to see who gets out last," Ken said. Della got up slowly and began to climb the cage. "Womankind doesn't seem to care that Della is escaping. In fact, it's almost as if she's LETTING her get out," Steven said. "Steven you idiot, don't you see? She's making Rini be the last one out so she has to spend the night with Triple X," Ken said. Della climbed up and over the side of the cage, leaving just Womankind and Rini to battle in there. Womankind clotheslined Rini down.Womankind screamed,"I'm gonna make you sure you never forget this!" Womankind tore off her top. "OHHHHHH DADDYYYYYYYYY! I SEE PUPPIES!" Ken screamed. Womankind said, "You're Triple X's slut now!" Womankind gave Rini a Double Arm DDT, rolled her on her back so everyone to see her bare chest, and began to climb the cage. The crowd was on their feet chanting "Puppies.""I can't believe Rini's going to have to spend a night with Triple X...WAIT! Who's that!?" Steven yelled. Rey came running out from the back and dropkicked the cage, causing Womankind to lose her balance and fall. Tygress turned around and scratched her eye. "Tygress is pretending she has something in her eye so that she can't get blamed for not disqualifying Rini!" Ken said. Rini got up and gave Womankind a Spin Kick. Rini couldn't hide her chest as she climbed out of the cage and Rey covered her up. Rey and Rini headed backstage together. Triple X's music started playing and he walked out with a mic. Triple X said, "Womankind, you may not be the most...eye-appealing woman to look at, but I'll show you a good time anyways. I was kind of hoping one of the other 3 would win...You know, I do have standards." Womankind had heard enough and she locked the Womanible Claw on Triple X. Triple X kicked Womankind in the stomach and clotheslined her down. Triple X started stomping away on Womankind while Tygress pleaded with him to stop. "Stop already Triple X, she can't take anymore..." Steven said. Finally some officials came out and pulled Triple X off Womankind.
Hardcore Howie vs. RoadFoxx
RoadFoxx came out silent. "Very unusual for such an active guy." said Ken. RoadFoxx went in the ring and grabbed a mic and said "Tonight is buisness. Not a night for me to sing songs." Hardcore Howie walked out triumphant. He came out with a mic, and said "This super heavy weight will beat you down like you are dust. So you get ready to KRAM IT!" "I don't think Foxx will stand for that." said Steven. Foxx started stomping on Howie as he slid into the ring. He picked him up and whipped him against the ropes and gave him a high knee. RoadFoxx gave him a few knees to the stomach and gave a body press to a pin..1..2. kick out by Howie. "I thought Foxx had that match won!" said Steven. Howie tried a thrust with his hand but missed. Foxx tried the pump handle slam but Howie reversed it into a shoulder toss. He did a quick suplex and did another. "Howie has the momentum now!" said Ken. Howie put the sleeper on RoadFoxx. The ref held Foxx's hand up, 1..2. Foxx started elbowing Howie in the stomach. "He's fighting back! Foxx is making a move." said Steven. Foxx suplexed him into a jackhammer. The crowd started chanting "Road Foxx." "The crowd is on their feet!" said Ken. RoadFoxx did a swinging neckbreaker. He whipped him into the turnbuckle. "Its the FoxxTrain!!!!" said Steven. Foxx ran but Howie moved out of the way. "Thats got to hurt." said Ken. Hardcore Howie put him on the top turnbuckle. "He setting up for some move!" said Ken. Howie did a bulldog off the toprope. "It's over!" said Steven. Howie Pinned..1..2..3! "Howie advances to the next round!!" said Steven.
Kef-Pac vs. Joe Hart
Ken said,"OHHH DADDY! This match is number 2 on my list. Of course, that Caged Mudwrestling Match was number 1. Rini has a nice set of puppies. I wish I were ReyMooseJr." Steven said,"Ok....As Ken said, this is a match we wanted to see all night. It's Kef-Pac vs. Joe "Tough Guy" Hart. Let's see if Kef-Pac can overcome Mr. Jones's main wrestler." Kef-Pac came out and the crowd went wild. Joe Hart came out and the crowd boo'ed. Ken said,"The crowd is on Kef-Pac's side but Mr. Jones is on Hart's side. I think Joe Hart may have the advantage." The bell rang and Joe ran at Kef-Pac. Kef-Pac went for a Spinkick but Joe ducked and lowblowed him. Kef-Pac fell down on his hands and knees. The ref warned Joe not to do that. Joe shoved the ref and stomped on Kef-Pac. The ref tried to get him off but Joe shoved him again. The ref said he'd throw the match out if he didn't stop. Joe slowly walked towards the ref and the ref backed away. Kef-Pac got up and when Joe turned around, Kef-Pac hit him with a Spinkick. Kef-Pac urged him to get up. Joe did and got another Spinkick. Joe got up again and Kef-Pac did another Spinkick. Joe Hart ducked, grabbed Kef-Pac from behind, and German Suplexed him. Joe held on and German Suplexed him 4 more times. On the fifth German Suplexed, Joe flipped forward, and pinned Kef-Pac. The ref counted 1..2 and Kef-Pac kicked out. Joe got up, spread his legs, and gave him a headbutt to the crotch. The ref didn't see it. Joe Hart put Kef-Pac in the Dullshooter. Ken said,"It's all over. Joe Hart has won it." Steven said,"It's not over till the ref says it is." Kef-Pac wasn't giving up. He reached for the ropes that were inches from his fingers. Joe said,"Once I'm done with you, I'll take that bitch, Tygress of yours and show her a real man." Kef-Pac screamed,"Kram it," and grabbed the ropes. The ref told Joe to break it but he wouldn't. The ref counted 1..2..3..4. and Joe let Kef-Pac go. Joe picked Kef-Pac up and hammered away on him. Joe pushed Kef-Pac in the corner and said,"What's a matter keffy? I won't hurt her. You can have her back if you want when I'm done." Kef-Pac jumped out of the corner and attacked Joe. Joe quickly shoved him back into the corner. Joe climbed the turnbuckle and started punching Kef-Pac. Kef-Pac pushed him up, got out of the corner, and Joe hit his head on the turnbuckle. Kef-Pac did the Kram It Sign to Joe. Joe turned around and Kef-Pac delivered the Kef-Factor. He pinned him and the ref counted 1..2..3. Kef-Pac beat Joe Hart. Ken said,"OHHHH DADDY! Kef-Pac advances. Mr. Jones's boytoy doesn't."
Hybrid vs. masked man
The masked man came out ready to fight. Hybrid came out with a mic. He said "I just beat a wimp and it looks like I'll beat you too!" Hybrid dashed into the ring. "He's going for the Hybrid DDT!" said Ken. The masked man reversed it and slammed him to the mat. "OH god that must of hurt. He used Hybrid's own momentum against him." said the Steven. The masked man got Hybrid in a body slam type move, jumped and did a piledriver. "Its the reverse jumping piledriver!" said Steven. The masked man pinned..1..2..3! "The masked man wins in a record setting time!" said Steven. "Yep! 14 seconds exactly." said Ken.
Hardcore Howie vs. Kef-Pac
Kef-Pac's music hit, the crowd exploded and he walked out. He was doing Kram It signs until he got to the ring. Then he did two Kram It signs, with fireworks exploding, and then jumped up and did a third. Then Hardcore Howie came out with a scale. The crowd was booing him.. Also with the scale he carried a mic. He walked up in the ring and said to Kef-Pac, "Kef-Pac, you're a great wrestler, but ya know...I just don't think you meet the super-heavy.." and then was cut off when Kef hit him from behind. "Howie always gets beat up when he talks about the heavyweight requirements." Steven said. Ken said, "That's SUPER heavyweight to you." Kef punched him into the ropes and threw him off of them. When Howie came back, Kef attempted a jumping spinning heel kick, Howie slid under it and gave him a Samoan Drop. Howie then picked Kef-Pac up by the hair and threw him off the ropes. Howie kneed him in the gut and ddt'd Kef when he came back. "I wonder if Kef-Pac's gonna be able to pull this out" Steven wondered. As Kef recuperated, Howie got up on the top rope and taunted him while the crowd boo'ed. When Kef picked up, Howie jumped off and hit Kef-Pac with a Top-Rope Bulldog! "OVER ALREADY?" Ken asked. Hardcore pinned. 1.....2...kickout! "Look at the resilancy of Kef-Pac!" Steven exclaimed.Howie argued with the ref , Kef got up and turned Howie around and Spin Kicked him. "Howie's head bounced off the mat!" said Steven. Kef got up and gave Howie the Kram It sign and kicked him while he was down. Howie seemed to get energy right there and got the edge right back with punches and a drop kick. Howie tied up Kef from behind a signalled for the PumpHandle GutBuster. "Kef's gonna go after this..." murmured Ken. However, Kef got out of it and tried another Spin Kick but Howie ducked under it. Howie tried a Haymaker but Kef ducked under that also. Then Kef, out of nowhere, hit the Kef-Factor. "OUT OF NOWHERE, KEF-PAC JUST HIT THAT KEF-FACTOR. IF YOU THOUGHT HOWIE HAD KEF EARLIER ON, KEF EASILY HAS HOWIE NOW!!!!" yelled Steven. Kef-Pac pinned Howie and easily got the 1....2....3! Kef-Pac wins. Afterwards, Timothy Jones, John Carter, Crispy and Joe Hart came out to the ramp and Timothy just pointed at Kef-Pac angrily while Kef-Pac gave their group the Kram It sign.
masked man vs. Kef-Pac
Ken said,"OOOOOH DADDY! This is the last match in the tournament and last match of 1999. This is the Main Event for the World Championship Belt! It's Kef-Pac verses ummm....some guy...geez" Steven said,"Yeah...strange. I thought the main event would be Kef-Pac verses Sin or Hart but it's Kef-Pac verses this mystery man..." Ken said,"You never know. The masked guy could be Joe Hart...of course, Joe Hart got his ass kicked by Kef-Pac." The masked man came out first and then, Kef-Pac came out. The bell sounded and the match got underway. Steven said,"Kef-Pac and the mystery guy are weak. They have been 2 matches already and this is the third." The masked man ran at Kef-Pac and clotheslined him. Ken said,"Remember the first thing Joe hart did against Kef-Pac was run at him. The masked guy is Joe Hart. I'm never wrong." Steven said,"Lots of wrestlers run at each other to start a match." The masked guy gave Kef-Pac a hard whip to the corner. Kef-Pac bounced off and he clotheslined him again. The masked guy picked Kef-Pac up and Kef-Pac tripped him. Steven said,"I've just got word. EdgE666 has been taken to the hospital and they are still a little unsure about his condition but they said he may never wrestle again. The Rage may have ended his career." Kef-Pac stomped on the masked guy till the ref got him off. The masked guy slowly got up. Kef-Pac bounced off the ropes for a clothesline but the masked guy gave him a huge jumping bodyslam. Ken yelled,"OHHHHHH DADDY!" The masked guy covered and the ref counted 1..2. and a kick out by Kef-Pac. The masked guy picked him up and went for the reverse jumping piledriver but Kef-Pac flipped out of it and gave him a Spinkick. Steven said,"That almost took his head off!" The masked guy got up and Kef-Pac went for the Kef-Factor but the masked guy pushed him away. Kef-Pac bounced off the ropes and the masked guy picked him up for another jumping bodyslam. He held Kef-Pac up in the air and set him up in reverse jumping piledriver position. He jumped up and got it. Ken said,"Good night, Kef-Pac." The masked guy covered and the ref counted 1..2..3. Steven said,"I don' believe it! The masked guy is the new World Champion!? We don't even know his name or who he is!"
masked man revealed
Mr. Jones's music came on and he and John Carter came out. They got into the ring and Officals brought out the World Championship Belt in a glass case. Timothy Jones said,"This was so unexpected but at least it wasn't Kef-Pac. You have proven yourself a great wrestler and you deserve this belt and a starter contract. I can't offer you a full contract because I don't know who you are and other information." He handed the masked guy the belt, the contract, and a pen. He continued,"Sign it and you'll have a 6 month contract in UWM." The masked man signed it. Mr. Jones said,"This is our newest wrestler and he's the new World Champion!" Ken said,"Look he's taking the mask off!" Timothy said,"Yes, let everyone see who you are. Let everyone see the face of the year 2000!" The masked guy pulled his mask off. Steven screamed,"IT'S DEREK!!" Ken yelled,"PD DEREK!!" Timothy Jones stood there with a look of shock on his face. Derek grinned, flipped him off, and clotheslined him down. Derek stomped on him and when John came to help, he got thrown out of the ring. The Officals got Derek off of Mr. Jones. Steven said,"I can't believe this! Derek gets fired from announcing and then, he gets a contract as a wrestler!" Derek stood on the turnbuckle holding his belt high in the air. Ken said,"I can't believe that this is the last UWM show of 1999 and the belt is in the hands of the man that Mr. Jones hates most.