I wake up from a restless sleep.
I’d give anything to be one of those people that set their head down on their pillow
and don’t wake up until morning.
I wake up every hour.
I toss and turn, never comfortable.
Too hot. Too cold. Too sunny. Too many wrong numbers.
Hoping today will be a good one.

Standing in the shower, careful of what soap I use.
My hands have grown sensitive to certain cleansers.
They become dry. Crack. Hurt.

Standing in front of my closet.
Wondering what to wear.
Trying to look my best.
For you.
I remember you love me.
Coffee is ready. Got a cup, maybe two.
Check e-mail to see if anyone on the other side of the world wrote,
Or maybe my friends who suffer from insomnia, like me.

Turn the TV on so the sound fills the quiet, sun-filled space.
Time to stand in front of my closet again.
Dark blue jeans, and a shirt
From You.
I remember you love me.

Hair. Makes or breaks my day.

Jewelry. Not to showy. I put on the ring
From you.
I remember you love me.

One last check in the mirror.
Depending on the day I wipe a tear
Or flash myself a gorgeous smile.
Press the down arrow and wait for my ride.
A spark of joy when it waits for me on my floor.
Down to the car.
Pleased with myself when I remember where I parked.
Otherwise, I re-trace my steps from the day before.

Driving in a daze.
“Every body hurts, but hold on, hold on, hold on”
Changing the station and biting my lip.
Wiping my eyes, holding my face
Feeling earrings on my fingers.
From you.
I remember you love me.

Choking down my first class
Holding my breath through the next.
Walking out in a daze.
I see you waiting
For me.
I remember you love me.

You love me.
You.
Me.

Dinner at my place. 6 o’clock.
Stir-fry
Veggie chopper.
Bite sized broccoli never tasted so sweet.
Distracting my cooking.
Silly words,
I laugh.
For You.
I remember you love me.

Time slips through my fingers
No matter how tight I clench my fists
You go home.
A kiss on the cheek goodbye.
For us.
I remember you love me.

Hours past. TV infomercials
Napster Downloads.
I walk to my room for another night
Of a restless sleep.
Fox shirt.
From you.
I remember
You love me.

What it feels like to be me.