Plot
Basically, this movie follows the day of two guys, one works in a convenience store and one works in a movie rental place next door. Both are the most philiosophical slackers on the planet. Their antics include discussing the independant contractors on the second death star in Return of the Jedi, playing hockey on the roof, and ditching work for a funeral. There are some colorful characters, including Dante's ex-girlfriend who has sex with a dead guy, and his current girlfriend who he fights with constantly. All in all, the actual plot is little more than a series of everyday occurances, and I liked it.
My Thoughts
Even though this is the first movie in the series, its the last of the bunch that I watched. I thought the other were smart and funny, but this one took that to new heights. I know that every critic in his dog thought this was the greatest movie ever, but it has a lot of merit. Its edgy for its time, and brutally honest. I laughed genuinly at this one. Its social comments were particularily biting, and pertinent. I found this one very entertaining.
Mallrats
Cast
Brodie: Jason Lee
T.S.: Jeremy London
Brandi: Claire Forlani
Rene: Shannon Doherty
Gwen: Joey Lauren Adams
Jay: Jason Mewes
Silent Bob: Kevin Smith
Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith. Released: 1995. My Rating: ***
Plot
In this salute to slacking, T.S. and his girlfriend Brandi have a falling out the same day that Brodie and his girlfriend Rene have one. So, they decide to go to the mall. Brandi's father, a local TV guy, is putting on a dating show and Brandi is the female contestant. The boys want to disrupt that, but need help. For this, they enlist the help of Jay and Silent Bob. Naturally, hilarity ensues, and in the end, the boys get their girls back.
My Thoughts
Even though this is the weakest of the bunch, I enjoyed it. It was funny, crude, and touching all at the same time. It featured some mid-grade stars, and a very young Claire Forlani, all of which adapted to Smith's style of talking a lot about nothing. And the Jay and Silent Bob characters, which are the staples of the series, were greatly expanded. They are two of the best characters in movies. Anyway, I liked it, despite the critics.
Chasing Amy
Cast
Holden: Ben Affleck
Banky: Jason Lee
Alyssa: Joey Lauren Adams
Jay: Jason Mewes
Silent Bob: Kevin Smith
Released: 1996. Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith. My Rating: *****
Plot
In one of the strangest twists, Kevin Smith goes from slackers to lesbians. Granted, they all live in that slack-induce world, but they have a different agenda now. Holden is introduced to Alyssa, and he's smitten. After a ahile, we find out she isn't like most girls, she likes most girls. That doesn't deter him, however. He professes his love, and she gives in. They begin dating, much to the chagrin of Holden's best friend, Banky. After a little while, we find out that Alyssa isn't exclusivly a lesbian. She has...experimented. This freaks Holden out and he destroys his one chance at true love.
My Thoughts
Okay, this is the second best of the bunch. I know, it boils down to a basic romantic comedy, but it asks questions like no other mainstream movie has. It blurs the line between hetero and homo sexuality and phobia. And it does it with that irreverant Kevin Smith style. Once again, it does what any good movie should do, tickle the funny bone, pluck the heartstrings, and even open the mind. Wonderful.
Dogma
Cast
Bartleby: Ben Affleck
Loki: Matt Damon
Metatron: Alan Rickman
Bethany: Linda Fiorentino
Azrael: Jason Lee
Rufus: Chris Rock Serendipity: Salma Hayek
Cardinal Glick: George Carlin
Jay: Jason Mewes
Silent Bob: Kevin Smith
God: Alanis Morrisette
Released: 1999. Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith. My Rating: *****
Plot
The basic plot of this surprisingly pro-Catholic movie, is two banished angels, Loki and Bartleby, find a way back into heaven. A church in New Jersey is granted plenary indulgences, which will wipe away all sins. Then, all they have to do is die and they go to heaven. Of course, them going to heaven goes against God, proving he is fallible, and therefore, destroying all of existance. Simple. On his trail is Bethany, a barren abortion clinic employee who is actually the last relative of Jesus, a thirteenth apostle, who's black, and the only two recurring characters in the entire series, Jay and Silent Bob. Helping the angels is Azrael, a demon who at one time was a muse. He wants the end of existance just cause he's bored of damnation.
The movie goes from Chicago to Jersey, and takes many strange side trips. Very entertaining. And eye opening.
My Thoughts
This is the best movie of the bunch, and one of the most original movies of the 90s. It uses a lot of fact from the Bible, which many religious people do not, and skews some, but keeps most. It shows how fallible the Catholic religion is, but also how good it can be. It uses that same Smith style to shine a light on one of the most tabooed subjects on the planet. It was banned by religious groups before they even saw it. It is a pro-Catholic movie. all those zealots demonstrated what everybody knows: they are idiots. And this is what this movie is trying to say.
Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back
Cast
Jay: Jason Mewes
Silent Bob: Kevin Smith
There are also a bevy of guest stars who play supporting roles in this road trip. They include:
Ben Affleck as Holden
Jason Lee as Banky and Brodie
Will Farrell as the Game Warden
Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter and Jennifer Scwalbach as some vigilante diamond thieves
Chris Rock as the director of the Bluntman movie
And Mark Hamill.
Released: 2001. Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith. My Rating: ***
Plot
Basically, Jay and Silent Bob, the only recurring characters from the series, are pissed off. Remember in Chasing Amy when Holden and Banky had a comic book called Bluntman and Chronic? Well, someone is making a movie out of them and they didn't know about it. They decide to go to Hollywood to stop it. Along the way, they get involved in a diamond heist, steal an orangutan, and beat the crap out of Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek. Eventually, they get paid for the movie.
My Thoughts
Well, this was a fitting end to a strange journey. It delves into the stuff that the other movies couldn't: Jay and Silent Bob. It was interesting, and had more celebrity cameos than any other movie ever. Although the characters are so one-dimensional they should never have been able to carry a movie, they did surprisingly well. And there are so many poop jokes!! It ranks #4 out of the five, and only because Mallrats was pretty bad.
Clerks II
Cast
Dante: Brian O'Halloran
Randal: Jeff Anderson
Becky: Rosario Dawson
Elias: Trevor Fehrman
Emma: Jennifer Schwalbach
Lance: Jason Lee
Jay: Jason Mewes
Silent Bob: Kevin Smith
Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith. Released: 2006. My Rating: ****
Plot
After the Quick Stop burns down, Dante and Randall find work at the Mooby's. Dante is engaged to Emma, and she's taking him to Florida and a dull, upper-management future under her parents, but what he really wants is his boss, Becky. As his last day goes on, we learn that the two slackers from Clerks haven't changed that much in ten years. We learn that Dante and Becky had sex one night not too long ago, and she is pregnant with his baby. This complicates things with Emma, as does a going away present from Randall which involves a donkey and a creepy dude.
In the end, Jay and Silent Bob put up enough money for the boys to buy the old Quick Stop and they rebuild, keeping the family together, plus Becky and the new child.
My Thoughts
And just when everyone thought it was over, he came back with another Clerks movie. The thing about this one is, its a good movie. It has all the same talkiness of the rest, all the same dirtyness, and just as much heart as the rest. And even though the hateful Rosario Dawson is in this one, it still hits on all the right marks. Seeing the old gang back in action one more time is gratifying to see. We'll see if Smith stays in the Jay and Silent Bob world, or if he moves out like Jersey Girl, but its always interesting to see what happens. Based on comments he made five years ago with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, there could be another visit to the Askewniverse, and I wouldn't be adverse to that.
