just don't tell my boss

05-07-00

I bought my domain yesterday and spent this afternoon happily setting up house. It may be a few days before I get enough stuff organized over there, so I'm keeping the journal entries here for now.

Fleck coughed a little bit today. I swear to god, if my cats caught a respiratory infection from me, I will quit that stupid vet job immediately. I change my clothes and shower when I get home from work. I'm very careful about wearing gloves and washing my hands after I come into contact with sick animals. Screw getting another job before leaving. There's no way I'm letting my cats get sick from me.

I really didn't do too much today, besides play with the computer and feed the dogs. John and I played duets for a while and talked about euphonium recitals. He's working to put together a chamber music performance of some kind, mostly so he can squeeze in some conducting experience.

My current project, besides the website thing, is that I'm joining a fundraising group for the local animal shelter. My therapist suggested that I make some friends who aren't in the band with John. Though John's friends are great, it sort of falls apart when he's out on tour because all my friends are gone along with him. The shelter group will be good for me, especially after I quit the vet gig and start feeling guilty about not helping animals. People around here have been friendly and asked me to join various organizations, but many are affiliated with churches, the military (wives' groups,) and mothery, carpooly sorts of things.

I was just telling John that I was thinking of becoming more politically active down here. He's not so sure; I could end up alienating some of our more conservative friends, like John's big brother, Mr. Air Force. Most of my issues involve stuff that could, if I handled it wrong, get him into trouble at work. I'm not talking about setting myself on fire in front of the Museum of Aviation, here.

Environmentalism and animal rights are givens for me. My other pet issues are more volatile topics, especially here in the South. I tend to stay pretty quiet with my views on certain subjects; I figure since I'm offended by certain viewpoints, others would naturally be disturbed by mine. I'm a rather fiery supporter of pro-choice legislation, and of course I support gay rights and same-sex marriages. Those things should be obvious to anyone who knows me. I quit my last job in essence because my coworkers were racist and homophobic. They didn't know that the things they said were offensive in any way, the same way people who use the word "gay" to mean "stupid" don't realize that what they're saying is ludicrous.

And yes, I used the word "gay" meaning "stupid" in seventh grade. I was in high school before I found out what "gay" meant. I didn't know what fags or homos were either, but I sure as hell called Tommy Henderson a homo every time he did something stupid in band class. I definitely don't do it now, unless I'm making fun of people who say "that's so GAY!" without thinking.

As for the pro-choice thing. I'm pro-choice. Deal. When people don't share my viewpoint, I don't call them pro-life. I call them anti-choice. That's what it is.

So anyway, glad I could piss off plenty of people today. Did I mention that I think private school vouchers are a load of shit, pot should be legal, evolution should be taught, and health care should be available to the public?

Mmm, I smell socialism brewing. Could it be...is this chick a liberal, or something?

Which brings us to the question: why don't I say something? I work for a man who hates what he calls "liberals." He hates a lot of other people, too, though he's not exactly racist, he's not religious, and doesn't care what other people do as long as we don't take away his second amendment right to own an arsenal. Every day he spouts beliefs based on incomplete or sensationalist information, on every topic from dishonesty to property taxes. Many times I disagree, but I don't argue. I nod. I acknowledge his opinion out of common courtesy. He would not do the same for me.

I'm basically chickenshit. I don't like to piss people off to their faces. I prefer to go home and write scathing, libelous things on my website. Then I make myself wonder, how many people don't know the real me? How many people are there in the world who think that I share their exact beliefs, just because I didn't talk back?

Maybe I should buy an assortment of inflammatory bumper stickers and T-shirts. People who don't like my views can steer clear of me before we even meet. Then I'll pierce my lip and, hell, I don't need a teaching gig at all! I'll get a job at Chick-Fil-A!

Except for that pro-choice thing. I'll have to rethink it. Chick-Fil-A ain't open on Sundays.