bipolar morning

9/2/99

Scott: Tara, we gotta lot of work to do today, now....

Tara: I KNOW, Scott, I'm just reading your memo....

Scott: It's a Thursday, Mike's not here....

Tara: I KNOW, I'm just....

Scott: I'm just telling you....

(pause)

(audible high heel stomping from one side of the room to the other)

Scott: What the...Tara....

Tara: Shut up, Scott, I'll read my own memo!

(silence)

Tara: (loudly) I hate Scott!

Sue: Already, so early?

The reasons Tara and Mike don't get along center on his need for total control. His job includes placing orders, and it's Tara's and my job to fax the orders in, confirm them, and confirm the ship dates. The problems happen when Mike wants ship dates, so he gives us a list of vendors to call, then he gets impatient and calls them himself. Mike's an abrasive guy. He chews out our contact person, and then one of us unknowingly calls the same person and asks the same question. They get pretty pissed off when that happens.

Mike strives, in a very masculine way, for alpha status in the office. His nose gets into everything; his anal-retentive presence emanates from his corner cubicle. That appears to be control freak ground zero.

Tara bounces around the office, getting her work done in between flirting with the men who enter the room from the warehouse or the upstairs offices. Her mood defines the atmosphere of the office and she is always the center of attention. Her coyness gives us a party day, and her stony moods make us tense and businesslike. When there's a joke she must be in on it; when someone else is in the spotlight, she subtly drags the ears and eyes back to her sparkly blondness. Who's the real control freak here?

I'm uncomfortable again today. We got a new girl to answer the phones and run the switchboard, so I'm not the new one anymore. Nobody asks me those invasive personal questions, I'm grateful for that.

My aura in the office has solidified. People know me as well as they think they need to. The know I'm not going to talk unless provoked, and some of them still think—and will always think—I'm stuck up. They let me fade into the background.

That means they feel comfortable making rude jokes in front of me. With all the talk of the new ownership have come some of the grossest generalizations I have heard in forever. When I was in sixth grade, kids made jokes about French women not shaving their legs. Here are some of the things I've "learned" today—though really I've learned more about the individuals who bestow "knowledge" upon me:

1. English people do not bathe. They "stank." They don't know they "stank" because they all "stank," but when they come here to visit we'll all have to hold our breath.

2. They don't shave. Women have big bushies under their arms and hairy gorilla legs.

***I'm going to have to intercept this one. I went into the office in shorts last week and not a soul noticed my hairy gorilla legs.

3. The English get drunk on the job.

4. They drink "hot" beer and "hot" Coke instead of chilling it.

5. We will all have to take our breaks later and eat "hot tea" and crumpets.

6. Crumpets are the same as crackers.

7. The Queen will speak at Wednesday services.

That's another thing about this company. There are religious services every second Wednesday in the cafeteria. If you choose not to go, you get an extra half hour for lunch, unpaid.

Hey—if y'all thought them English jokes was funny, y'all shou' hear the ones about Mexicans. The African-American ones aren't jokes. Did I mention that I fit in so well here?

Okay, it's not an overt racism. It's like this: most of the black male employees drive trucks or lift stuff in the warehouse, and the women are on the cleaning staff. There's a token woman in the sales department, but she's "different."

They say she's "different" to me as if they're making an excuse for my sake. Like I might be offended. Then they asked me if we had "blacks" in Michigan.

The town where I grew up was founded as a major stop on the Underground Railroad. Yes, we had "blacks" in Michigan.

I'm not being overly friendly today. Feeling a little uncomfortable. I'm devising ways to quit again.