| 3/17/99 sorry, sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to make you all wait for the recital results. It went very well, could have been better, but it could have been much, much worse. I had a weird episode in the first piece, sort of an air problem that caused a bit of anxiety, or vice versa, then the fingers went. Of course, the first piece was the easy one that was supposed to be classy and all that. The second piece was my big moment--the sexy one--and I brought myself out of the ditch and started to kick ass a little bit. After the intermission was the best. The money solos were on the second half--loud and fast. It went by so quickly. John was supposed to fly in at 1:30 and get into Lansing in time for the recital. Naturally, his flight was canceled. After the program I pulled myself together, went out to dinner with my family, and then my dad and I drove to Detroit to get John from the airport. I went in, looked around, looked around, walked around, looked around, then I ended up in the right place and walked right past him. Whoa. No hair, in air force blues, 15 pounds lighter, and I'm supposed to recognize my boyfriend? I haven't updated here partly because we've been busy talking and such, and partly because I now have to share my computer again, yucky. I've been informed that I am his new running partner. If this duty requires that I get up at 5 and be cheerful, I may get fired soon. I told him I'd hold his tether if he wants to run a big circle around me. Ahh, hell, I suppose it would do me good to run on a regular basis. My exercise habits tend toward practical housekeeping and occasional bursts of weight training fixation. Any of my euphonium teachers can tell you I'm not a model of motivation. Horrible dream: I fell asleep on the couch this afternoon while waiting for a phone call. The phone rang about 15 minutes into my nap; it was my friend Wes calling to ask a favor at school. I groggily agreed, then went back to sleep. I dreamed that my accompanist, Eric, and I were running around in a city that looked like Chicago looking for a place to eat. I was wearing heels (???) and I kept sliding down these steep slopes. Wes showed up and took Eric and me to this really expensive office supply store, where he bought these really expensive gifts for all of his friends and then had them shipped. Then we walked around a bit more, and came to a train crossing. [I think this has something to do with the fact that the train runs about 50 feet from my house--it must have gone by while I was sleeping.] So Wes ran and jumped over the tracks and disappeared. Eric and I were like, okay, whatever, and we waited and waited for the train to end. It went on and on. Eric was giving me these worried looks. Finally they posted a sign by the tracks that said the train was stopped due to a passenger's injury. Eric looked at me again and it dawned on me--oh fuck oh, fuck--and we ran around the corner to find Wes, where he'd thrown himself under the train and--oh, god, why does my brain do this?--I actually looked at him. I have never seen a person's brain leaking out of their head before, but my mind came up with a pretty realistic image from somewhere. I really disturb myself sometimes. On that note, well, hell! Tomorrow's my last day at that misery of a grocery job. John and I are going away for the weekend before he leaves for Georgia. All I have left of my master's degree is one hellish class and my oral exam. Then I'm home free. Mulling over what types of jobs I can do with a master's that don't involve retail or direct interaction with customers of any sort. Any ideas?
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