6/00
*N SYNC

( :-:-:-:-: denotes point of view ) 

::Yesterday::

:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:

"Chris!" I yelled. 
	I didn't care that it was six o'clock in the morning and I was waking up the whole hotel. If I Justin Timberlake had to be up, then they should have to be up too. 
	Chris wasn't answering me as I stalked around the hotel room and that annoyed me. I hadn't dressed yet, walking around with just boxers on. Now wet boxers due to the fact that I'd pulled them on after stepping out of the shower and not using a towel. I was making a wet trail around the hotel room that he and I shared. 
	It wasn't that big a room. Where was he??
	I checked the bedroom. I checked the bathroom even though I'd just come out of it. I checked the kitchen. Then I pounded on the door that connected our room with Joey, Lance, and JC's room. 
	Lance answered the door and started laughing. "What the hell is in your hair?" 
	I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, making sure to get him wet as well. I looked around the main room and past Joey and JC, who were sitting on the couch, and started towards the bedroom. 
	"Wait a second, where are you going?" Joey called from the couch as he muted the television. "You're dripping everywhere."
	"Justin, we're leaving in a half an hour," JC started. "What are you—"
	"Where's Chris?" I demanded. I touched my hair for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes and almost cried when I felt the half hardened and half sticky curls that were sticking everywhere. 
	"What's in your hair?" Joey asked. 
	"Where's Chris?" I repeated, growing more frantic. 
	Lance walked over and touched my hair. I swatted his hand away but not before he made contact. He smelled his hand.
	"So is that where the maple syrup went this morning?" 
	"Justin," JC started. "We were okay with the bleaching. We were okay with the highlighting. We even okayed the fro. But maple syrup?"
	"Shut up!" I yelled. 
	"Just go get dressed. Showered. Whatever," Joey instructed. "You're not gonna find Chris. He's a smart man." 
	I crossed my arms over my bare chest. "Well, can I borrow some shampoo? Chris has taken the liberty of filling ours with this crap."
	"In the bathroom," Lance replied with a smirk. 
	I walked over to their bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain, grabbing their shampoo angrily. I muttered to myself as I stomped back out into the main room. I went into the bedroom quickly to look under the beds and in the closet.
	"Curly, forget Chris!" JC yelled from the other room. "You have about ten minutes to shower and primp yourself. It usually takes you an hour so get your butt in gear." 
	"Whatever," I muttered to myself. Chris was probably already on the bus. Or somewhere that I wasn't going to find him just yet. So I gave up and started for my own room. 
	"Nine minutes," JC said as I walked toward the door.
	"I'm hustling, I'm hustling," I replied dryly. 
	I went into my room and slammed the door behind me irritably. I went quickly into the bathroom and promptly slipped and fell on my butt because of the soaking wet floor that I had earlier created.
	I laid on my back on the tile for a minute, dazed. This had to be the worst morning ever.
:-:-:-:-:
	Bad morning, bad attitude. I'm sorry, guys, but if you piss me off, then you gotta deal with me complaining about it all day. It's a fact of life.
	I was wondering why the guys couldn't understand this simple truth as we pawed through these three huge bags of fan-mail that our fan club had generously bestowed upon us. Every now and then, particularly during long bus rides, we get a big bag full to go through so we can either write back or whatever. The fan club went through it themselves first because there was so much and we honestly couldn't go through it all even if we were given ten years of an empty schedule. So they went through it and sorted, and then it came to us. Joy of joys.
	Now don't get me wrong. I love reading the mail. I was just not really in the mood. It was so nice outside and yet we had to be on a bus, rolling along to somewhere. And of course the hair incident had predisposed how my day would go. So sifting through thousands of papers was not as entertaining as I wanted what I was doing to be. 
	I was sitting on the floor next to Chris, even though I wasn't really talking to him. He'd been sticking around me and joking about this and that, trying to lighten my mood, but I didn't want to let him know I wasn't mad anymore just yet. So I kind of ignored him. I'm mean, huh?
	"Hey, JC," I called over to him as I fingered the letter I'd just picked up in my hand. He was sitting on the couch with Joey, surrounded by stuffed animals and going through his own pile of letters. 
	"What?" He looked up.
	"How much would you take to marry someone?" I asked with a laugh.
	He raised an eyebrow. "Huh? You mean money?"
	"No, peanuts," I replied sarcastically. "Yeah. Would you do it? This is pretty tempting . . ."
	He frowned. "How much does it say?"
	Lance laughed from the booth across from us. "You're actually interested?" 
	"Of course not!" JC replied. "I'm just curious how much she offered."
	"You mean he," I piped up.
	JC went pale. "Really?"
	"Gotcha," I replied. "But seriously, guess."
	"Guess?" He frowned. "Um . . . a hundred?"
	"Oh, come on, Jace!" Chris snorted. "You're worth more than that!"
	"Hey, Justy, this girl's got some hair suggestions for you." Joey laughed at me as he stuffed a letter back into an envelope and tossed it over. It landed a couple feet from me.
	I stared at it without moving to get it. "Is it mean?"
	He shrugged. "You might take it personally."
	Briefly wondering why our fanclub would include a mean letter for us to read, I ignored him and turned back to JC. "How much you thinking, Joshy?"
	He rolled his eyes but seemed to be thinking. He sighed. "How much is it, bro? Just tell me."
	"Twenty-five," I answered blandly.
	JC looked somewhat disappointed. "Yeah, how much am I worth, Chris?"
	"Thousand," I finished. 
	JC's attention snapped back to me. "What?"
	"Twenty-five thousand," I repeated. 
	He shook his head. "That's sick. You're kidding me, right?"
	I just raised my eyebrows. "Nope." I held it out. "Wanna see?"
	"Yeah," he agreed. "How old is she?"
	"I don't know."
	"Well, get off your lazy butt and give it to me." He put out his hand. 
	I made a face and just tossed it like Joey had for me. It landed at his feet and he picked up. 
	I glanced at the one Joey had thrown at me and decided to ignore it entirely. I could tell just by looking at the handwriting that it would make my day even worse. I definitely didn't need that. I picked up a letter that I knew might make me feel better. It was a pink envelope with little stickers of hearts and rainbows. Finally something carefree. I was about to open it when I read the label. Lance Bass.
	Dammit. Why's he get all the nice lovely letters when I get the 'your hair sucks' and 'why you dating her when I'm single' sorta crap? Man, my life really bites today.
	I was in my own little world looking for bright optimistic envelopes when Lance broke my train of thought. He gets all the nice letters and then he thinks he can just—
	"Oh, shit!" he exclaimed.
	We all stopped what we were doing to stare. That was very un-Lance. He was holding a piece of paper as if it was going to bite him and had a look I'd never seen on him before. It was a fearful or anxious sort of look. 
	"What is it, man?" Chris asked.
	"JC, I need to talk to you. Now," Lance said stiffly as he stood up.
	This was weird. "What're you freaking out about, man?" I asked.
	He didn't even look at me. That kinda pissed me off. I mean he obviously heard me. He wasn't deaf.
	"Sure," JC answered slowly as he pushed some stuffed animals away from him and stood up. "Inside?"
	"Yeah," Lance agreed as he folded the paper up, holding it in his hand. What I wouldn't do to read what it said . . . I was officially intrigued.
	"What's going on?" Chris asked as the two of them left.
	"I don't know but I will in a second," I answered as I got up. And I would've too if Joey hadn't grabbed my goddamn shirt and pulled me back on the floor.
	"They left for a reason obviously," he said.
	"A reason," I echoed sarcastically as I straightened my shirt. As if that meant anything to me.
	"We'll find out soon enough," he assured.
	I thought quickly. "Well, until then I'm gonna run to the bathroom."
	He eyed me. "Nice try. No."
	"You want me to pee on myself?"
	"Just stop." 
	"Be really, really quiet," Chris instructed. "And maybe we'll be able to hear them . . ." 
	"Chris, no," Joey answered. "Come on. For real."
	"Aren't you curious at all what Lance is talking to him about?" I asked. 
	Joey shrugged. "Well, sure. But if it was something we were supposed to know, then don't you think he would have said it in front of us?"
	"Joey, you're weird," I answered with an exasperated sigh. I stretched out my legs on the floor,  pushing through a bunch of papers about a mile high, and spread myself out. I drummed my fingers against my thigh. "I really can't take it. Superman, I'm about to self combust here."
	"Probably some hate mail or some shit like that," Chris replied with a shrug. "Don't freak out about it."
	"Why not?" I retorted. "Lance did. And if Lance freaked out I have every right to."
	"No, you had your share of freaking out today," Joey replied.
	"Yeah, I think you beat your record, Curly," Chris said. "After all, it's only ten o'clock in the morning."
	"Well, thank you for contributing to my record," I retorted. "Joey, use your super human hearing, will you?"
	"I'm Clark Kent right now, kid, sorry," Joey answered. 
	"Well unpack the goddam cape then!" I exclaimed. "Sheesh . . ."
	Joey just laughed.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	I followed Lance into the bunk area and closed the door behind me. I wasn't sure what to really expect, but I knew it had to be serious in order for Lance to be so wrought up.
	"What's up, man?" I asked gently.
	Lance's pale eyes met mine and they looked almost fearful. He shoved the letter into my hand. "Here."
	"What is it . . ." I murmured. My eyes trailed the words on the typed sheet and my mouth dropped as what it said registered. "This can't be real." I looked up at Lance, awaiting and anticipating some sort of reassurance. Then I realized it was me who should be the one reassuring.
	"What do you think?" Lance whispered.
	"That we should ignore it." I swallowed and folded up the paper. I was about the throw it into the trash when Lance grabbed my hand.
	"What are you doing?" he demanded.
	I paused. "What do you mean? We can't possibly let Curly find this." I lowered my voice when I realized the boy might be eavesdropping. 
	"It's evidence."
	"Evidence to what?" I answered sarcastically. "It's a joke, Lance."
	He just stared at me with an incredulous expression. "A joke," he repeated. "Who else knew about it? Management, his parents . . ." 
	I shrugged. "I don't know. But it's definitely a joke. Thank God Just didn't find it."
	"Yeah, thank God," Lance muttered sarcastically.
	"What are you saying?" 
	"Look, JC, I don't think you realize how badly this affected him last time," Lance started. "When the whole ordeal occurred? He didn't tell you. I was there with him and I'm not about to let it happen again."
	I narrowed my eyes slightly, feeling slightly angry, maybe resentful. I couldn't get mad at Lance though. It was Justin who'd neglected to tell me. He'd told me everything his entire life and then when something happened that might have destroyed everything, he overlooked telling me. So what if I hadn't been there? That wasn't my choice. I could have still helped . . .
	"So you think we should remind him?" I answered sharply. "Huh, Lance? You think we should go, 'Hey, kid, look. Someone's out to get you'. Somehow I'm doubtful that would go over well."
	"Did you like when he hid it from you?" Lance answered patiently. 
	I worked my jaw. "Of course not."
	"Well, you're doing the same thing back at him," Lance persisted. "Is this payback?"
	"Lance, don’t be ridiculous. I would never do anything that would hurt him. That's exactly why I'm not going to tell him about this letter."
	"I'm not saying to necessarily tell him." Lance walked a couple feet away to sit on the edge of his bunk. "I'm just saying not to get rid of it just in case it is serious. So that you have evidence."
	I paused. He had a point. Ugh, Lance always had a point. I felt bad for arguing with him and shrugged it off. "I guess, yeah," I agreed reluctantly. "I'm sorry."
	"It's okay," he answered. "You're just trying for what's best. But what if he finds it?"
	"He doesn’t go through our stuff, Lance," I replied. "Or at least I don't think."
	"Well, even if he doesn’t, there's still the possibility . . ." Lance persisted.
	I nodded. "Maybe it would be better if he found it accidentally."
	Lance smiled. "Yeah. You know he wouldn't tell us though."
	I sighed. "We'd be able to tell. But for now let's just not say anything and I'll hold on to this." I slipped the letter into the back pocket of my jeans. 
	"What about Joey and Chris?"
	"We'll talk to them about it later."
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	I watched Chris and Justin wrestle each other through the mounds of stuffed bears, assorted animals, and letters, and wondered if I should stop them. They weren't gonna hurt each other, I knew that, but they were looking like they might tear the bus apart. There were already letters everywhere.
	But I figured, hey, it's keeping them outta my hair so whatever, right? Just wait until JC gets back and he can handle it. He hates disorder like that.
	"GUYS!" JC's voice came from the back of the bus.
	Well, JC's back. 
	I turned to smile at him as he and Lance came back in. They both looked pretty grim and I wondered what that letter had said that was so serious. Especially that they couldn't have said it to us. 
	To which one of us though?
	I figured Justin. I don't know why, I just figured. Maybe since it was JC that Lance called for. JC was involved in Justin stuff, so that made sense. But then what was it about? I was just as curious as Justin had been and just as longing to eavesdrop, but I figured that if they wanted to talk alone they had a pretty damn good reason and that I better not interfere.
	"Guys, come on," JC was saying. Or yelling. "Look for a minute at what you're doing!"
	Chris and Justin were oblivious. Justin was sitting on Chris's chest and walloping him with a couch cushion he had somehow gotten his hands on. Chris reached up and tried to grab onto Justin's curls.
	"Ew, they're still sticky!" he yelled.
	Justin stopped attacking him and reached up to his hair protectively. "What? No it's not! Loser!"
	"It is too! In the back," Chris persisted.
	As Justin reached to feel the back of his head, Chris stood up, causing the other to fall to the ground. Chris grabbed the cushion and started his payback.
	"Guys, come on!" JC persisted. He sat back down on the couch, knowing better than to step anywhere near them when they were armed. 
	Justin now had his arms around Chris and was charging him backwards. I grabbed his ankle as he walked by and he tripped, falling into Chris. They both landed on the floor in a big heap of letters, groaning.
	"Joey, why'd you do that?" Justin complained as he pushed the mail off of him and stood up. 
	I shrugged. "Gee, I wonder." I watched him walk over to the couch and sit strategically next to JC.
	"So what'd you and Lance talk about?" he asked. "Huh?"
	JC gave him a look and handed him a stuffed bear. "None of your business."
	"Why?" Justin set the bear down next to him.
	"Because."
	"Is it about me?"
	"Not everything is about you, Justin," he replied.
	"Then why won't you tell me?" he persisted.
	"Man, shut up," I answered. Justin could be so damn irritating. "C'mere and read some letters."
	"The letters are mean to me." He pouted.
	"The hair one was nice," I replied while watching Lance and JC exchange a look. Something was definitely up. I'd get it out of one of them later . . .
	"I doubt it," he muttered, but came to sit next to me anyway. I dropped a pile of letters in his lap. "Here you go. Read and reply."
	Justin glanced over at Chris, who was still lying amidst the letters and whatnot. He slid over to him. "Chris . . .? Guys, what's the matter with him?"
	"He's just playing around," Lance answered.
	"He doesn't look like it." Justin reached out to touch Chris's cheek. His eyes were closed. I could tell something was gonna happen any second. And I was right. 
	About a second later, Chris jumped up and pinned Justin to the floor. They began fighting again. I could tell this was gonna be a very long bus ride.
	"Guys!" JC started again. "Come on!"
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	I was a little surprised about JC's reaction to the letter. I mean, I figured he'd want to keep it from Justin . . . Who knew whether he really should know or not? He had it in his head that he shouldn't. But the fact that he'd wanted to just toss it in the garbage . . . That shocked me. I mean, that wasn't just junk mail.
	It had been six months. Six tedious months of getting Justin to be able to walk down a street without looking behind him every couple of minutes. Six months to convince him to go inside a deli or bakery willingly. Six months it took for him to trust cops or answer the phone.
	It had all started so innocently with him slipping out for a walk because he couldn't sleep. Just a stroll down the street that nearly got him killed because of what he saw. 
	It had been a physical and emotional struggle for all of us, and I'd finally thought it was over. None of us had mentioned it or talked to him about it for a while now. And not even because he didn't want to—he'd gotten past holding it back from us. But because it wasn't necessary. Because it was over.
	And now suddenly we get this note reminding us that it's not over. That there's still people out there that remember what Justin saw and who he told. How did we get it? This mail was supposed to be sorted through so carefully because of things like this. It's known that we get threats. It's not supposed to be known by us of course, but it's pretty obvious. I mean, that's half the reason we have security. Obsessive people could be dangerous.
	And JC wanted to just throw it out. How ridiculous is that? If someone intends to start this over again, we have to stop it, not ignore it and let it happen. We had to show security, or at least show somebody, and be aware. Throwing out a note might let him forget about it for a little while, but whoever sent it certainly wouldn't forget about it.
	I looked up from my daze and watched Chris tickling Justin unmercifully on the ground. I tried to imagine what it would be like to have him go through it again. I remembered the feeling of being the only person he'd told. His confidante. His pleading not to tell anyone else when it was his life at stake. I did not want to be in that position again.
	But if I was, I wouldn't keep my promise. Definitely not. I was a man of my word, but I was not going to let what happened last time happen again. Joey, Chris, and JC would not be in the dark. 
	And JC wanted to ignore it! I mean, I knew he was jealous of me that his oldest friend Justin came to me when he was in trouble, but if he was just going to be so ignorant about it, then I'm glad Justin didn't go to him. Even if I did hesitate to tell someone, at least I didn't just throw it all away. I helped Justin tell the other guys.
	Well he'd kept the note at least. Maybe it was just a joke. Just a coincidence and the letter had nothing to do with anything in the past. But if it wasn't, we would be ready. We really had to tell Chris and Joey too. 
	I felt bad not telling Justin though . . . I mean, we would be doing the same thing that we berated him for doing. What an example, huh? But there was no need to tell him in case it wasn't anything. He'd worked so hard to overcome his fears and I wasn't going to let old memories ruin that. And I knew JC agreed. We'd tell Chris and Joe at the first chance.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	Later that night after we'd arrived at our hotel, we were having a family meeting in Joey and Lance's room. My room sorta. I only slept in my real room; I hung out in theirs. But anyway we were having a family meeting. Minus Justin.
	I wasn't sure what was going on . . . All I knew was that JC had told Curly, who was his roommate, that he and Lance both had dates they were taking out. And me and Joey had gone to a club that was strictly twenty-one and up no matter who you were. So obviously he couldn't come anywhere with us. And he was not to leave his room, securities orders. Those were our alibis. 
	Justin probably was thinking that we were the cruelest people in the whole world. He hated when we ditched him, and he hated even more being told what to do, especially when it confined him to certain activities or spaces. This better be good, that's all I was thinking. We would never leave him in alone like that. We'd never go out without including him in our plans. We never did that and it pissed me off that we were tonight—and lying no less—for some meeting behind his back.
	"Now is this about Justin?" I asked somewhat dryly as we were all finally gathered. I sat on the couch heavily. "Because if it is, I'm confused. I'm thinking that he should be here."
	"You'll see why he shouldn't be," Lance assured as he took the seat beside me. "It's somewhat about him, but trust me."
	"If it's about him, then he should be included . . ." I objected. I saw Joey sitting down out of the corner of my eye. 
	"No, actually," JC replied as he came in front of us. He had a piece of paper in hand. "He shouldn't."
	"What's this about?" Joey asked. "Does this have anything to do with Lance's outburst this morning?" 
	Lance gave an embarrassed laugh. "It wasn't an outburst . . . I mean, I didn't mean to do that . . ."
	"I'm gonna tell Mama Bass you cursed over fanmail," Joey teased.
	Lance just shook his head.
	JC cleared his throat. "I'm not sure how I'm gonna say this . . . I don't want to make it too serious sounding unnecessarily . . ." He paused and then laughed. "I'm not even gonna stand." He walked over to take the chair.
	I was so curious I was about to get up and rip the paper out of his hands. Why was he being so weird about this? What could it possibly be about? "Get on with it, JC man . . ."
	"Well, you guys remember the incident several months ago involving Justin being a witness to that murder . . ." JC started slowly as he fingered the paper in his hands.
	I stared at him. "Well, shit, of course we remember. How could we forget?" I answered sarcastically. What the hell was he getting at?
	"Well this . . ." He held up the paper. ". . . it's something that I don't want to jump to conclusions with because it might be a joke . . . but . . ."
	"It's a reminder that it's not necessarily over," Lance finished for him. 
	"What?" Joey exclaimed. "What do you mean? Gimme that, JC."
	"Lance doesn't mean that it isn't over," JC attempted to reiterate. "I mean . . ."
	"Show me." 
	JC leaned over to hand him the paper. "I don't want to let Justin see this because you know how upset he'll get and it might only be a joke . . ."
	"How could you leave him alone in your room now?" I exclaimed. "What were you thinking?" I stood up. "If this has anything to do with that ― "
	"Chris, sit . . ." JC demanded. "We don't know if it's serious . . ."
	Reluctantly, I sank back in my seat, resisting the urge to run to Justin and make sure he was still in the other room.
	"I thought it was over finally." Joey shook his head. "That women was in jail. Justin went and identified her. We told him it was over."
	"Yeah, but there were two other guys . . ." Lance said softly. "That apparently sent us this 'fan-mail'."
	JC shook his head. "Let's not jump to conclusions," he implored. "I don’t want to think that yet."
	"JC, who else would have sent it?" I answered. "Justin's mom? I mean, who else knew about it? None of us sent it. The cops wouldn't. There's no one else that would've . . ."
	"I don't want to think about it."
	"You can't ignore it!"
	"That's what I said," Lance said softly.
	"So what are we gonna do?" Joey asked. "How can we not tell Curly? He's gonna realize something's up when we wanna hold his hand everywhere we go, you know? He'll realize we're keeping something from him."
	"Just like we realized he'd kept it from us in the beginning?" JC shot back.
	"Not all of us . . ." I sent Lance a look. He just stared back blankly before looking away.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	I headed back to my room after the guys and I talked. After about a half an hour of emotionally fighting over what the best thing to do for Justin was, we decided that it would be better if we didn't tell him just yet. I would get in contact with the police that had been originally working on the case. We also decided to let Lynn know in case she got anything at home.
	I slid my key into my door and turned the knob, pushing it open. The TV was on but I didn’t see Just on the couch. 
	"Curly?" I called as I shut the door behind me. I looked around. Maybe he was in the bathroom . . .
	No . . . That door was open and the lights were off. He wasn't in bed . . . Not in the kitchen. 
	"Kid, where are you?" I persisted, louder. I don't know why he'd be playing hide-and-go-seek with himself . . . He couldn’t be playing a joke on me since he hadn't known I was coming. 
	Jesus, where was he?
	My heart rate started to race as I went back to the bedroom to make sure he wasn't asleep again. Not in front of the TV . . .
	What kind of plan had it been to leave him here alone? Dammit! I was so irresponsible. Sure he was an adult that could be left alone, but not in a time like this, not when we didn't know what was going on. 
	The note came back to me and I started to panic. No, that couldn't be it. I wasn't even going to consider that possibility . . . 
	Just when I was on the verge of freaking out, I finally noticed the door to the balcony slightly open. I rushed over and stepped outside. 
	A huge sigh of relief left my lungs as I found him asleep on the chair out there, feet up on the railing and head tilted to the side. He looked so peaceful and I tried to have that pacify me. He was fine. I sat on the other chair and rubbed my temples, trying to calm down. I put my feet up on the rail as well, inadvertently shifting my chair back. It scraped across the concrete floor loudly.
	"JC . . ." Justin murmured, startled awake. 
	I glanced over and saw him squinting at me, sitting up and putting his feet on the ground. 
	"You really know how to give an old guy like me a heart attack, Just . . ." I replied softly. 
	"What do you mean?" He frowned. "What are you doing back here? Where's the date?"
	Damn. My date. I faltered. "Oh, we decided to call it off. We didn't get along."
	He smiled tiredly. "Oh, sorry."
	I shrugged, amazed he believed such a lame lie so easily, and watched him rub at his eyes, trying to get the sleepiness out. "I didn't know where you were," I explained.
	"I didn't leave," he answered in protest.
	"I know. I just didn't think to look out here and I thought you were abducted or something." I pulled my chair further up, adjusting my own feet up on the railing. Justin followed suit and returned his to elevation. 
	"You're so weird." He shook his head. "I don't know why you're so paranoid about me. But since you are back, can we go somewhere?"
	"Somewhere? Like out?" I stared.
	"No, to the bathroom," he answered sarcastically.
	"Hey, give me a break. And how can you wanna go out? You were just sleeping."
	"I'm not tired though," he objected. "I slept 'cause I had nothing better to do. You guys left me here. Under house arrest. Nothing on TV. No food. What's a guy to do?"
	I laughed. "You could've ordered something."
	"Want to go out for something? Like ice cream?" He looked so damn hopeful. "To make up for your date?"
	I shook my head. "Nah, dude, I'm tired."
	"How? You didn't do anything." He looked at me quizzically. "I need to do something. I've been on a bus all day. I'm gonna explode."
	"Why don’t you go to the arcade with Chris?" I suggested. "There was that huge place next door, remember?" I paused as soon as the damn words left my mouth. Shit. Oops. Tremendous faux pas . . . 
	"Because Chris is at a club, right?" He raised an eyebrow and his look turned from begging to brooding. "What's going on? He's not clubbing, is he?" He dropped his feet to the ground and turned to me accusingly. "You're lying, aren't you?"
	I shook my head innocently. "Where do you get these ideas . . ."
	"JC, you are, aren't you?" he began suspiciously, getting up from his chair and starting for the door.
	I tried to grab his wrist or shirt but he got past me. "Where you going?"
	"To call Chris's room and see if you're lying!" he answered. 
	I jumped out of my chair and ran to catch him but he got through the sliding glass door and slid it shut quickly. I grabbed the handle but he'd locked it faster than I could do that too.
	"Justin!" I yelled, slamming my fist against the glass.
	He stuck his tongue out and walked further into the room. I sighed, there being nothing I could do, and leaned against the door. Be patient. You're the one that lied to him after all.
	A minute later Justin was walking back to the door, phone in hand and receiver to his ear, stretching the wire as far as he could. He unlocked the door and immediately I slid it open and walked in.
	"How come though, Chris?" he was saying into the phone as he walked away. He paused. "But . . . I don't believe that. Where's Joey?"
	I hit him in the shoulder and crossed my arms. He just glared.
	"I want to talk to Joey," Justin whined into the phone. "Because you're a liar . . . Yeah, I know he is too. I wanna tell him."
	"Justin," I whispered harshly.
	"Oh, the club burnt down, huh?" Justin continued, turning his back to me. "I don't believe that either, Joey. Why'd you lie to me? You didn't want me around?"
	"Justin," I persisted. "Gimme the phone."
	"Joey!" Justin exclaimed into the phone. "You lied to me!"
	I walked to stand in front of him, but he wouldn't meet my eye. "Justin, give it." I put my hand out. 
	He shook his head, eyes narrowed. "I know, Joey . . . I know! But you still lied. So what if Chris said it? It did not burn down. Shut up. I'm hanging up on you. Uh-huh. No, JC's not here. I killed him. He burned down like your little fictitious club."
	I finally grabbed the receiver, yanking it away. We fought over it for a minute and then he finally let go. He watched me irritably as I put it to my ear.
	"Joe?" I said, clearing my throat.
	"What the hell, JC!" Joey exclaimed. "If he's gonna be mad at us now . . ."
	"I know, I wasn't thinking and I slipped up," I apologized. "It's okay. That's too bad about the club . . ."
	"What?" Joey answered. "Oh, you're trying to keep that up. He's not gonna buy it. Chris is mad. He says he knew this was gonna happen. You're the worst liar ever, JC."
	"It's my fault. Justin, wait." I saw him leaving out of the corner of my eye. "Just a minute." I put the phone down. "Justin, c'mere . . ."
	"No," he answered ruefully as he put his hand on the door to the hall. "I'm going out."
	"Where?" 
	"China," he replied. "Bye." He paused. "Can I have some money? I haven't got any cash at all."
	I shook my head. "No. Come on. I wanna talk to you . . ."
	"I'm not talking to you." He opened the door slightly, watching me carefully. 
	"You just did."
	"You know what I mean," he snapped. "Leave me alone. Go make up more lies or something. I’m going downstairs. I've been stuck on a damn bus all day, and then you all lie to me and keep me stuck in this room. I need air."
	"Bring somebody with you?" I pleaded.
	"It's obvious none of you wanna be with me."
	I picked up the phone. "Joe?"
	"Yeah," he answered.	 
	"Tell Chris to meet Curly at the arcade."
	"No!" Justin yelled. "Then I’m not going there!" He kicked the door.
	I watched him silently, trying to decide how to make it better. "Justin, you have to understand . . ." 
	"Understand what? Did your date burn down too?"
	"Joey, I'll call you back," I said into the phone before hanging up. What should I say? That we had a 'meeting' without him? "Justin, we want to be with you . . . That's not the issue here . . ."
	He pushed the door a little open and watched as it swayed back to shut, stopping it with his foot. He kept doing it as if it was the most entertaining thing ever. "What's the issue then?"
	"Can I talk to you? C'mere away from the door."
	"You are talking," he said dryly. "I'm listening."
	"I don't know what to tell you . . ." I sighed, speaking honestly. I wanted to reassure him somehow but for once I didn't know how . . . "Just . . ."
	"Well, why did you guys tell me that Chris and Joey were clubbing and you and Lance had dates? Start there," he insisted. "I should've never believed it. You and Lance both got dates?" He laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, right." 
	I didn't answer right away. What was I supposed to say without lying again? I had to lie. We all had decided to lie. We all agreed it was better. "We were talking . . ." I answered. He was looking up at me inquisitively with those blue eyes. 
	"About what? Why couldn't I be there?" he persisted.
	I couldn't look at him. "Um . . ."
	"It was about me, wasn't it?" He let the door shut. "Good or bad? Did I do something?"
	"No." I shook my head. "You didn't do anything."
	"Are you sure? What was it then? I mean, if I couldn't be there, there had to be a reason. It's about me, right?"
	"Yeah," I admitted.
	He frowned and turned impatient. "JC, this is driving me crazy. Just tell me!"
	"We were, uh . . . planning for your birthday."
	He shook his head. "My birthday's pretty far away."
	"We wanted to do it in advance. So it could be huge."
	"I don't believe you." He crossed his arms.
	"Okay, fine, we were trying to figure out a practical joke to play on you," I replied in a tone that made it seem like 'fine, I'll tell you already.' Like I was giving something away.
	"And you went through all that trouble to keep me in here?" He seemed skeptical. "For something that stupid?"
	Oh, geez. This was ridiculous. "Yeah. I guess we can't do it now though, huh?"
	"What were you gonna do?" 
	"That's a secret."
	"I bet it was Chris's idea, wasn't it?"
	I stared at his slight annoyance and was shocked that he was believing it. But of course. Why would I, his best friend JC, lie to him? I felt so guilty.
	"Sorta," I answered. "Now I have to tell the guys you know." I sighed dramatically. "Great."
	"Ha, ha." Justin turned giddy. 
	"So you wanna go out?" I suggested. I had to get his mind off it. "You're right, we have been cramped up on a bus all day. We might as well do something." 
	"Really?"
	"Yeah, really."
	"For food or what?"
	"We'll see what we find. Go get some clothes on." He was in sweats and a wifebeater. "I'll call the guys."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	I watched Joey angrily hang up the phone and frowned as I noticed his darkened expression when he came to sit back down on the couch. It was pretty obvious what had just happened.
	"So Justin knows we're all here?" I asked with a sigh.
	"Damn straight." Joey collapsed on the couch and punched the cushion. "He was just yelling at me."
	"He's mad at all of us," Chris reminded. "JC'll straighten it out."
	"JC messed it up," Joey answered.
	"Oh, you know how difficult Justin can be," I answered. "He's pretty good at reading people, so it's impossible. JC didn't do it on purpose. Justin was probably just curious about why his 'date' was so short anyway." 
	Joey just sulked, muttering, "I knew this was a terrible idea," and Chris kicked the table in front of him. Being the mediator was not fun . . . I'm sure JC was going through the same thing with Curly about now.
	"Guys, come on . . . We all just deliberated over this . . ." I soothed. "I mean, we all agreed that it was the lesser of two evils, not letting him know. And we had to talk about it while he wasn't around." 
	"I don't like lying to him," Joey answered.
	"I've never not included him," Chris insisted. "We always include each other."
	"JC will tell him something," I answered. "Don’t worry about it."
	Joey glanced over at Chris. "Man, why'd you have to go and tell him that the club we were going to burned down? That right there was a sure giveaway that we were pulling his leg. Worst excuse ever."
	"I couldn't think of anything else!" Chris exclaimed with a pathetic look. "What was I supposed to say?"
	"I don't know! Something maybe like I had too much to drink and needed to come home or we were recognized by fans?" Joey persisted.
	"Well, maybe you should've answered the phone then," Chris said sullenly. "I don't think too well when the kid's screaming at me for lying, alright?"
	"Guys, there's nothing we can do about it now," I persisted. "Whatever you said, you said."
	"Hey, don't talk," Joey snapped. "You didn't have to have him crying at you about it. Just wait."
	I rolled my eyes. Joey and Chris in a bad mood was not fun. "Want to go over there?"
	"Why? So he can yell some more and make me feel like the asshole I am?" Chris answered.
	"You both know we had a reason for doing what we did," I answered as I stretched my feet out to lay them on the table in front of me. "Didn't you want to know about the note?"
	"Yeah, of course," Joey replied.
	"Well, there was no other way to do it," I assured him. "You two had to know soon and he couldn't find out."
	"Well, he wasn't supposed know we lied to him," Chris answered. "He knows I would never do that."
	"Chris . . ." I didn't know what to say. "I'm sure JC made up something good."
	"Lied to him yet again," Chris persisted. "If I want him to tell me stuff, how can I go around lying to him?"
	"Because he trusts you. This isn't going to change that," I assured. "You're really over-exaggerating." 
	Chris just shrugged.
	The phone rang and they both looked at me expectantly. I just stared back. "Joey, you're closer."
	"I don't feel like dealing with Justin again, sorry," he answered dryly.
	I sighed and got up, reaching over him for the phone. "Hello?" I answered tiredly.
	"Hey, Lance, it's JC."
	"What's up, man . . ." I answered.
	"I want to take Justin out. For food, or drinks, or ice cream, or something so that he let's this slip. He's changing so I can't really talk long. Are Chris and Joe there?" he asked.
	"Yeah, I'll tell them. Is Justin mad?"
	"No, it's alright," he replied. "I think. You guys come over to our room, okay?" 
	"Sure. See ya." I hung up the phone. "That was JC," I said to Joey and Chris. "Get your shoes on."
	"Why?" Chris asked.
	"We're taking Justin out," I replied. "JC wants to make him forget we didn't include him or whatever and I guess thinks this is the best way. We're getting ice cream or something."
	"And Justin wants to go?" Joey asked.
	"Man, it's ice cream," Chris reminded. "Recently he does anything for ice cream." 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I searched through my bag quickly for jeans and a shirt. I was still mad at JC and the guys. Really mad. But I'd take anything to get out of the hotel room now so I would give them a chance. Maybe I could milk this for what it was worth, and really make them owe me.
	I couldn't understand why they would do something like that. JC had tried to cover it up by saying they were planning a trick, but I knew better than that. Because they would never be able to pull off something so elaborate that they needed private meetings or whatever for. None of us operated that way.
	I mean, this was JC we were talking about here. He'd never do that or encourage that. Not to me. Well, I didn't think he'd lie either and look at where we are now. But a joke, no. JC wouldn't. And Joey wouldn't either. Because he knew I'd retaliate with something ten times as bad and he hated having the joke on him. So he wouldn't tempt me. 
	But then what was it?
	I slipped off my sweats and pulled on a pair of jeans. I threw on a dark sweatshirt and located my sneakers.
	What was it they were trying to hide? It was about me and not something I did, and that's all I knew . . . Not much to go on . . . I really wanted to know. JC thought I'd bought his excuse. Did he really think I would fall for that lame an excuse? But why was did he have to lie to me anyway? It hurt to know and realize that he would. Should I trust them? Was it for my good that they were doing it?
	I wondered blankly if it had anything to do with Lance and that note this morning . . . That had been really weird. But they hadn't told Joey and Chris either.
	Yeah, maybe they were telling them while they had me tricked into thinking they were all out. A secret meeting.
	There was a knock on the door and I looked up from putting on and tying my shoes. JC walked in, not even waiting for my answer. He never waited for an answer before barging in. 
	"You ready to go?" he asked as he walked over to sit on the bed. 
	"Yeah." I pulled on my other sneaker. I winced at the annoyed tone of my voice. Oops.
	"What's the matter now?" he asked.
	"What do you think?" I replied.
	"I told you what we were talking about," he answered.
	I was silent. I pulled my laces tighter.
	"Justin . . ." JC started.
	"What." 
	"I told you."
	"Yeah, yeah. You told me something." I stood up. "I'm ready." I watched his reaction and saw him basically shrug off what I said. That made me mad. 
	I was gonna find out.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	So JC had made it all better? Yeah right. It sure didn't seem like it. Justin was reserved the entire car ride. Then we decided to go to McDonald's and he barely consented. I mean he wasn't outright against any of us, but he wouldn't really talk and when he did it was kind of sarcastic.
	McDonald's was close to empty because it was so late. Almost midnight. They were still open though at least. We all squeezed into a booth in the back after all getting sundaes. I felt like I was a kid again, with my parents and siblings.
	I stared across at Justin as he ate his sundae slowly, leaving the chocolate on the sides. He always left it for last. Then he must have felt me staring because he looked up gradually and frowned.
	"What?" he asked. "Don't stare at me."
	"You've been kinda quiet," I told him. 
	"Like you would care," he answered, focusing back down on the ice cream.
	I stuck my spoon into mine stiffly. "What are you talking about?"
	"Nothing," Justin murmured.
	"Nothing, huh?" I answered.
	"Guys," Chris objected. "Let's not fight."
	"Justin, what are you talking about?" I answered. "Just because we said Chris and I were gonna ―"
	"Oh, whatever," he answered as he looked up. "Don't make up stupid lies. What did you really do? What'd you guys talk about?" he challenged.
	I noticed the combative look in his eyes and frowned. Where was this coming from . . . I glanced at JC. He was sitting right next to Justin. JC looked frozen like he didn't know what to do. He met my eye.
	"Guys, I told him how we—"
	Justin dropped his spoon and clamped his hand over JC's mouth. "I wanna hear them say it," he said. "Don't say anything."
	JC grabbed his hand and pulled it off of his mouth. "Justin . . ."
	Justin stared at him boldly. "What? You don't want me to ask them, huh? Why, did you lie to me again?" 
	"Justin, just stop." JC started eating again.
	Justin stared across the table at Chris, Lance, and me pensively. "So what'd you talk about?" He set his jaw.	
	"What do you mean . . .?" Lance asked.
	Justin scowled. "What do you think I mean? It's a question. Answer it."
	Chris and I exchanged a look. I glanced at Lance. We were in deep shit. 
	Okay, it's just Justin. You have the power over him. Don't let him play mind games . . . 
	"I don't believe that JC really told you," I replied. "I think you're just trying to get it out of us."
	Justin elbowed JC. "Tell 'em you told me."
	JC shrugged. "I don't know. Did I?"
	"JC!" Justin objected in surprise. "What's the matter with you?"
	"Your ice cream is melting," JC pointed out.
	"I don't care!" Justin answered. "I’m not eating it until they tell me." He stared at us again. "Tell me, guys. Come on. You're really bugging me."
	"Oh, boy, I think he's gonna starve, we better tell him," I kidded.
	"Joey . . ." His expression crumbled. "Fine. JC, you lied. Period."
	"Aren't we over this yet? Just eat," JC muttered.
	Great. Just great. This was supposed to make him forget about what we did I thought. Wonderful plan. Great, JC. Make him more mad if that were possible.
	Justin pulled his ice cream closer to him and against his promises started eating again. He had a sullen look on his face and took a deep sigh. 
	"Justin, it's exactly what I told you," JC said as he put a hand on his back. "And that's the end of it."
	"Well, I don't believe you," Justin replied. "And that's the end of that."
	"Are you mad at us?" Chris asked.
	"Yes," Justin answered. 
	"Why?" Lance challenged. "You have no reason to be. You don't know the whole story."
	"Exactly," Justin answered. 
	"What if I told you that you didn't want to know?" I replied.  
	"But I do," Justin persisted, looking up at me. "Really, really badly."
	I sighed and looked at JC pleadingly. He shrugged.
	"It's just, if what JC said were true, how come you guys can't repeat it?" Justin continued. "Shouldn't you know what you talked about?"
	"What's the big deal about what it was anyway?" Lance asked.
	"I wanna know why I wasn't included. And since it's about me, I'm curious," he answered softly as he pushed at the ice cream. 
	"Who said it was about you?" Chris asked.
	"JC . . ." Justin murmured.
	"It's no big deal," JC persisted.
	"If it isn't, then tell me," Justin whined.
	"No, I meant it's no big deal that you don't know," JC replied. "You have a one track mind. That's your problem."
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	Lying to Justin in McDonald's was not my idea of fun. I mean, we all agreed that it was better if he didn't know and I still hold true to that. It would wreck him if he had that notion that someone might be out to get him. If he read that note, Justin would think of a thousand bad possibilities in his mind. None of us would sleep for like a year. Although the rest of us had to be aware, we'd apparently chosen a bad time to be told. This wasn't supposed to happen.
	I watched JC and Justin argue. Well, for them it was arguing. For anyone else it might be called a 'heated conversation' at the most, but these two rarely disagreed with each other like this. And it was so unnecessary. JC was right, he did have a one track mind. But hey if it were me and I knew that my four best buds had talked about something concerning me behind my back, I would damn well wanna know what it was too. 
	"Can we go home now?" Justin interrupted after a couple minutes. It bothered me when Justin refered to hotels as home.
	"I thought you didn't want to spend all night sitting in a hotel room," JC objected.
	"I do now," Justin replied. He started pushing him out of the booth. "I want to go. Get out."
	"Just, not yet," JC objected as he pushed him back to sit. 
	"Then I'll be in the car." Justin sighed and climbed over the back of the booth to get out. He grabbed the cup that the sundae was in and left. I was surprised JC hadn't stopped him.
	"He needs air," JC said as he exhaled tiredly.	
	"You think?" I muttered. "I really don't need this, JC. What did you tell him that he's expecting us to repeat back?"
	"First I joked that we were planning for his birthday," JC admitted. "Which is a million months away so he didn't believe that. So I was like, fine, we were gonna play a joke on you so we were gonna plan it."
	"Both really, really lame. Of course he didn't buy it," Lance sighed.
	"I thought he bought it at first," JC objected. "Before he got changed, he was like 'oh, this was all Chris, wasn't it'." 
	I smiled wryly. "Of course." But Justin knew I did the jokes with him. Occasionally against him, but never in a full planned out team fashion.
	"But then I told him to get dressed and when we were about to leave he was suddenly all sarcastic and whatnot," JC answered. "Maybe he thought it over and decided that wasn't it."
	"I'd feel the same way, curiosity wise," Joey started, "but damn. You know?"
	"Yeah." JC ran a hand through his hair. "I'll talk to him tonight. He's a good talker when he's tired. I'll get everything smoothed out."
	 "You better," I replied. "If I hear him say 'tell me' one more time, I'll die."
	JC laughed but I was so serious. I wanted to tell him. Maybe . . . "Guys, maybe we should tell him . . ."
	"Why, so he can be scared again?" Lance replied. "There's no need to make him paranoid."
	"But we're all going to be, and he'll catch on that something's wrong," I persisted. "Like, should he even be out there alone?"
	"Are you kidding?" Lance replied. "Do you really think our nice security sitting over there would let that happen?"
	I laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess not, huh? But he's gonna catch on, guys." 
	"Chris, it'll calm down," Joey said. "As soon as JC talks it over with him. Whatcha gonna say, JC?"
	JC groaned. "I have no idea. Help me think."
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn't have left? I guess I'd find out later when I talked to JC. Not that I wanted to, but I mean, I shared at room with the man so it was pretty safe to guess he would want to talk things over later.
	I walked across the dimly lit parking lot toward the van we'd come in and went to the driver's door. 
	Please be unlocked.
	I grabbed the handle.
	Just my luck. Of course it wasn't. I was about to walk around the front of the vehicle to try the passenger's side when something touched my back. I gulped and spun around, dropping my ice cream, ready to punch whatever or whoever it was. 
	A smiling black man caught my fist in his huge hand. "Is that really how you punch?"
	"Shut up, Lonnie." I sighed and leaned against the van with a relieved sigh.
	"Please tell that was not supposed to be a punch." He crossed his arms. "Are you that pathetic?"
	"Shut up, Lonnie," I persisted. "Look what you made me do!" I pointed down at the floor where my ice cream was now all over the pavement. You could barely see it in the dark. 
	"Cry about it," Lonnie answered. "Come on, I know you want to."
	"Stop. Not in the mood."
	"You poor baby. What are you doing out here alone?"
	"Trying to break in." I gestured behind me. "I mean, who locks the doors to their cars? Sheesh."
	He rolled his eyes and dangled the keys in front of me. I snatched them away, turning to stick them in the lock.
	"So what are you doing?" Lonnie persisted.
	"Unlocking the car . . ." I answered as I fumbled in the dark but finally got the key in the hole. You rock, Timberlake. Look at these skills.
	"Besides that, stupid."
	I pulled open the door. "Now I'm getting in the car."
	"Other side," he replied. "I drove here, remember?"
	"I drove!" I objected.
	"Don't think so. My memory's bad, but not that bad. Go around." 
	I climbed in through the driver's side anyway and got to the passenger seat easily. As Lonnie got in I stuck the keys in the ignition.
	"We ain't going no where," he reminded.
	"Duh, Lon. I'm just putting it on," I replied. "I want the radio." I turned the key and then started flipping the radio until I found a rap song. I needed something that did my yelling and bitching for me now since I couldn't. 
	"So are the other guys coming out soon or are they gonna let you bask in your moodiness for a little bit?" 
	I glanced at him. "What? I am not moody. You don't know what they did to me."
	"Oh, of course. They're the bad guys. I forgot." He had this damn sarcastic smile. 
	"Lonnie . . ." I scowled. 
	"Okay. Tell me."
	"Alright. Well they told me I couldn't go anywhere with them because JC and Lance were on a date and—"
	"Together?" he joked.
	I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Lonnie. Just go with me here. That they both had  dates and Chris and Joey were going clubbing at some place that I wasn't old enough to go to. So obviously I was supposed to stay alone."
	Lonnie sniffled. "I'm tearing up, man. Do you have a tissue?"
	"Lonnie!" I replied in exasperation. "God!"
	"Sheesh, boy, hold your hair gel."
	"Stop it!"
	"Okay." He chuckled. "Continue. You were supposed to stay all alone, you poor little thing you."
	I sighed, annoyed, but continued. "So I just stayed in like the good kid I am and fell asleep. But then JC got back and it was like less than an hour since he left. So I was like 'how was your date' and he told me it didn't work out. So after a bit I said I wanted to go somewhere and he told me to go to the arcade with Chris," I persisted. 
	"And?"
	"So I was like 'I thought he was out with Joey' and JC has this 'oh shit' look on his face so I know something's up. So I locked him out on the balcony—that's where we were, I fell asleep there. So I locked him out there."
	"That took skills."
	"I'm faster than lightning," I grinned. "Anyway, I went inside and called Joey and Lance's room. Chris answered. Caught, right? So he told me the club burned down and they didn't go. Biggest bullshit lies ever."
	Lonnie laughed at me. "This is why you've got your Fubu in a twist?"
	"Stop making fun of me," I complained. "But yes." 
	"Okay, this might come as a shock to you, but . . . It's not that big a deal . . ." 
	I glowered. "Yes it is! They all lied to me and they won't tell me why!"
	"Did you talk to them?"
	"Yeah, I talked to JC. And first he said they were planning for my birthday. Then he said they were planning a practical joke."
	Lonnie grimaced. "Those are the best excuses he could think of?"
	"It's JC we're talking about here." I shrugged. "So I guess I've been giving them attitude all night. But they won't tell me."
	"They probably have a good reason. You don't have to be a brat about it."
	"I'm not. I just really wanna know."	
	"So you throw a fit and walk out?"
	"I did not  throw a fit.." I frowned at him.
	"I saw you," he answered. "You didn't walk out? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"
	"I didn't throw a fit."
	"I saw you," he repeated.
	"Well, you didn't see right. I was sick of them saying 'it's better you don't know', so I left," I answered.
	"Maybe it is better you don’t know," he replied. "Do you want me to find out and then I can judge whether you should know or not?"
	"Would you?" I started as I leaned forward excitedly. "Lonnie please?"
	"But if I don't think you should know, I'm not going to tell you. I might agree with them." He shrugged. "Depends what it is."
	"What could it possibly be?" I sank back in my seat dejectedly. "Why are you all against me?"
	"I'm not yet." He looked next to him. "The guys are coming. I see them walking out."
	"Great," I muttered. "Wanna pretend we don’t speak English?"
	"What the hell do we speak then?" he answered. "No. You go right ahead if you want."
	"No, then it's no fun." I sighed and put the radio louder as they approached the car. "Tell them I'm asleep."
	"You don’t want to talk to them?"
	"Well, I just don't want to hear 'but it's better you don't know'. Like I said."
	"Maybe they won't say it."
	"Five bucks they do."
	He raised an eyebrow and stuck out his hand. I shook it.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"Hey, Just," I greeted as the four of us got into the van. I frowned as he didn't answer; I couldn't really see him from my angle. 
	"Ugh, will someone turn this shit for music off?" Joey complained as he sat down. 
	"Justin . . .?" I tried again.
	"He thinks he's sleeping," Lonnie replied. "I think that was it . . . Justin, you're pretending to sleep, right?"
	"Lonnie, shut up!" he yelled. I saw him sit up in his chair and glare at him. Lonnie just laughed a deep belly laugh.
	"Justin, get over it," Chris answered. "We didn't do anything to you."
	"Yeah, it's better that we don't tell you," Lance said. "Trust me."
	"Ha!" Justin started laughing. What was the matter with him? He punched Lonnie in the arm. "See?"
	Lonnie shook his head. "No. It wasn't exact."
	"Who cares! Pay up, big guy!"
	I frowned. "Justin, what are you talking about? Lonnie, what'd you bet on?" 
	"That one of you would say it was better he didn't knowsomething or whatever," Lonnie answered. He turned back to Justin. "Get your hand out of my face, boy. I ain't paying you. And unless you wanna sit in the parking lot all night, get your greedy little   hands off me, and let me drive."
	"I'll drive," Justin offered.
	"No."
	"Justin, change the station," Joey requested.
	He got no reply except that the radio went louder. Justin was basically ignoring us. How long was that gonna last? I shared a room with him. We had to perform together. We did interviews together. He would be trapped on a bus with us. He wasn't going to be able to keep that up. And if he did for tonight, he'd hopefully crack by morning.
	"You can't ignore us forever . . ." I said.
	"He's mad at ya'll," Lonnie answered as he pulled out of the parking lot. "That's what you get." 
	"I think we figured that one out on our own," Chris answered from next to me. He kicked Justin's seat. "Man, why are you so pissed over nothing?"
	"Lonnie, tell Chris it's not nothing," Justin spoke.
	"Do I look like your messenger?" Lonnie answered dryly.
	"Yes."
	"You're lucky my hands are on the wheel. You're pissing me off. Talk to them."
	Justin turned to look out the window with a big sigh.
	"Okay, everyone pity Justin," Lonnie announced. "He's so sad . . . Feel bad for him."
	"Lonnie, shut up!" Justin yelled. "I mean it!"
	"Ooh, I'm shaking."
	"I'll jump out of the car."
	"Good, do it. Let's see who stops you."
	Justin kicked the glove compartment angrily and the car was eerily silent aside from his music. 
	"Chris, wanna check and see if the arcade is open when we get back?" Joey asked. 
	"Sure. I heard they had some brand new games I've never even seen yet in there. Lance, why don't you come too?"
	"Sure . . ." Lance answered. "That sounds pretty cool." 
	Lonnie cleared his throat. "Justin, I think that's your cue."
	"Cue for what?" he muttered. "To make them feel good that I would want to go with them? They don't actually want me there."
	"Why wouldn't we want you with us?" Joey replied.
	"It's better I don't know," Justin answered.
	"You're cruising for a bruising," Lonnie laughed. "Just go with them."
	"No. I'm too tired."
	I decided just to keep my mouth shut with Justin until we got in. He was obviously too mad. I think he'd talked to Lonnie, because the man seemed to have a pretty good idea what was going on. They were close enough anyway. It didn't sound like he'd been able to help though. I guess that was my job? Great . . .
:-:-:-:-:
	"You ignoring me too?" I asked Justin as I watched him walk into our room and collapse on his bed. He turned on the TV with the controller and put the volume up. I walked over and stood in front of it. 
	"Stop," he said.
	"Justin, I want to talk to you." 
	He shook his head. "Get out of the way."
	"Sh, come on . . ." I walked out of the way but turned off the TV as I did so. "Talk to me."
	"I'm showering," he replied as he stood up and started for the bathroom. "And I'm not coming out until you're asleep."
	"How are you gonna know if I'm asleep?"
	He paused for a moment but then went into the bathroom and turned on the water. As it ran, he came out and went to his bag. The idea crossed my mind to go sit in the bathroom, but I knew he would have a fit so I decided not to. 
	"Justin, you can't be mad forever . . ." I said as I turned the TV back on, turning the volume down. 
	"I can be whatever I want to be, remember?" he replied dryly as he grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt before walking back towards the bathroom.
	I worked my jaw silently as listened to the door slam. Frustrated . . . I didn't know what to do . . . I wasn't mad. I couldn't be mad. It was my fault he was being so testy anyway. If I hadn't suggested he go with Chris . . . Oh well. What was done was done.
	Maybe now is the time to call the police . . .
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	Joey, Chris, and I decided to watch a movie. One was on HBO and we all needed a distraction. All of us were upset that Justin was acting the way he was and even more upset at the idea that he would be even worse if he found out what he wanted to know.
	It was bad enough he knew we were lying to him. But it would be worse if he knew it was about that. Sure not telling him was somewhat hypocritical and we really didn’t have a right to... but hopefully JC and him would talk, and he would calm down and things would work out. JC was usually good at that. But it was hard when Justin wasn't talking. That didn't make for a very good conversation. 
	"Maybe we should tell him..." Joey said about ten minutes into the movie.
	Chris lowered the volume and looked over at him in the dim lighting. "What do you mean, tell him? We already know why we shouldn't."
	"But what if it's for real?" Joey persisted. "And we're not careful enough? I mean, if he's mad at us now, he's liable to do something stupid or go off on his own to clear his head and something might happen…"
	"Joey, don’t think like that." I shook my head. "He learned his lesson. He doesn't go off like that any more."
	"He does a lot of things when he's mad though, Lance. Don't trust that. And he's gotten over being scared so there's the chance he'll repeat his mistake." 
	"Joey, come on, you gotta have more faith in the kid then that," Chris objected. "He's smart. And if he's not, Lonnie is."
	Joey shook his head and smiled wryly. "Justin can be smart, but not when he's mad. Trust me. He'd rather hit or kick something than think."
	"Well, JC said he was going to call the police," I started. "The ones that were working on the case before… That'll be our start." 
	"How could we have been so stupid to think it was over?" Chris sighed. "I mean, I realize that woman was in jail... What's her name?"
	"Justin didn't want to know so we never found out," I answered softly. "That's what JC said."
	Chris rolled his eyes. "Well, her, we know she's in jail, but there were two other guys. What were we thinking to just relax once she was out of the picture? She was only one third of it."
	I took the controller and put the volume of the TV even lower as I realized no one was really going to watch it. "The police told us it was over. If we never relaxed, Curly never would. You remember how he got."
	"Hell, yeah, I do. But still. How did we think it was over?"
	Joey shrugged. "The cops said that she gave names. They said they had suspects, known whereabouts, and expected it to be case closed." 
	"And we believed that?" Chris persisted with an incredulous look. "I can't believe we bought that."
	"We were all so hopeful and stressed out," I replied. "Maybe it was true but they just never got them. The last we knew was that they had a suspect. Then our tour moved on and we got wrapped up in other things. We never mentioned it for Curly's sake."
	"In other words we were stupid," Joey laughed shortly. "And now it's coming back to haunt us."
	"Maybe it's not for real . . ." I remained hopeful.
	"How can it not be real?" Chris answered. "Who else knows about this? Nobody. We already established that. God, we were so lucky with it that management barely knew the details, never mind Star or whatever.
	"Maybe they're writing letters from jail," I persisted.
	"Yeah, you think that they're going to give people that tried to kill Justin his official fan club address?" Chris answered.	
	"Lance, I appreciate your attempt to remain optimistic," Joey started, "but it isn't helping because I can tell you're just as scared."
	I shrugged. "I just . . . I see why we shouldn't tell him, but I see why we should too. And I don't know which is right."
	"Well, judging by his attitude, we were apparently wrong," Chris answered. 
	"No, that doesn't mean anything," Joey objected. "I don't know. I just rather he be on our side with this. But there's no way we can explain that it really is better he doesn't know. If we were to tell him he'd probably rather we hadn't. So you can't win."
	I sighed. I really didn't know what to do. JC wasn't one to rely on either. I mean, he's the one that almost threw the note out in the beginning. So he wasn't too good in this situation either. All he wanted was to protect Justin, but he obviously had no idea how. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	The thought occurred to me that while I was in the shower JC might call the guys or something and sorta repeat what their little secret was. But then that just made me more upset because there was no way I could hear him with the water running. Once the water stopped he would stop. And I couldn't just run out there in a towel or something. That would be stupid. So… Oh well. Futile thought. All worked up for nothing.
	I couldn't figure it out. I thought that if I was complaining long enough that they would tell me. So I was giving as much attitude as I could and in response they just closed up even more. It didn't make sense. What was it about that they had to do this? Why couldn't I know something about myself?
	Maybe I already knew. Maybe it was something that they didn't want to say in front of me because it would hurt my feelings or something… I mean that wasn't too plausible but I couldn't think of anything else that it could be. Maybe I could work a pity trip with JC. That worked sometimes…
	I stopped the water and dressed into sweats and a t-shirt, pressing my head against the door. I heard JC's voice and cursed. I knew it! On the phone! I couldn't hear what he was saying though…
	I walked out of the bathroom and threw my jeans and stuff on the floor by my bed as I glanced at JC. He was on the phone. He gave me a look I couldn't decipher and went back to the conversation.
	"Yeah, I've got to go…" he said. "Call if there's anything. Yep. Thanks. No problem. Right, bye." He hung up the phone.
	I sat on the edge my bed silently so that I was facing him and just a couple of feet away. I wanted to ask who it was but I didn't want to break my vow of silence just yet.
	He turned and sat the same way to face me. "Justin, Justin, Justin…" he sighed. 
	I stared.
	"Still not talking to me?" he asked.
	I shook my head. Come on. Feel bad for me. Tell me…
	Instead he just got up, stretched, and walked toward the balcony. He went outside and shut the door behind him. 
	Okay, not what I really expected. Maybe he wants me to follow him out… Maybe I'll talk to him. The whole silent thing wasn't really working anyway. I might get more with a different tactic.
	I went to the fridge and looked for soda. There was coke in there so I grabbed two cans and started for the door. I slid the door open and slipped out, sliding it back behind me.
	I walked by JC's chair and dropped a can in his lap as I went. He grunted and jerked forward and I smiled to myself as I took a chair and put my feet up on the railing. I stared at the night sky and sighed. This was familiar. This was where it started.
	"Thank you," he said. "Even though you almost killed me and my manhood with it." 
	I snapped open the top of my can. "You're welcome."
	"He speaks," he noted as he opened his and took a sip. "I was wondering how long that would last. Why the change?"
	"I thought you were getting mad," I replied. "And I wasn't getting anywhere."
	"True and true," he answered. 
	I watched him as I took a drink. He was just staring at the sky. "Why won't you tell me, JC?" 
	He sighed. "Are you ever going to drop this?"
	"Not until I know," I answered. "What's so bad about me knowing? It won't hurt my feelings, whatever it is."
	He laughed. "That's not why I'm not telling you."
	There goes my theory.
	"Then what is it?" I sighed as I started twisting the can top to break it off. "I don't understand…"
	"Don't worry about it."
	"Don't you know why I got so mad?" I asked. 
	He shook his head.
	"Well, first of all, I know it's not about a prank," I started. I eyed him. "Right?"
	He nodded slowly. "I'll give you that." He put the can on the ground and crossed his arms, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.
	"See that's one of a trillion reasons why I'm mad at you," I answered.
	He turned his head and opened his eyes. "Me? Now is it just me? Or Chris, Joe, and Lance too?"
	"Mostly you," I answered.
	"Why?" he objected. "I didn't do any more than they did."
	"Because you lied to me and you never lie," I answered. "Well, I don't know anymore. Maybe you do. How am I supposed to know?"
	"I have a good reason to lie. And it's not lying. I’m just protecting you from something."
	Oh so now he was protecting me? Whatever.
	"I never lie to you," I reminded.
	"You have."
	"So this is paying me back for something?" I answered incredulously. "Is that what this is about?"
	He shook his head earnestly. "No, Just, no. I would never do that… I swear to you. I'm just stating a point."
	"I've barely ever lied to you," I persisted. "That better? And you always find out. So either way I tell you everything. So why can't you tell me everything?"
	"There's obvious reasons why I can't tell you everything," he replied giving me a 'you know better' look. "And you don’t tell me everything either."
	"Everything important," I answered. "Everything you should know."
	"Exactly. Justin, look at me. You shouldn't know this," he replied strongly. "Trust me, okay?"
	"How can I trust you?" I persisted.
	"Don't give me that bullshit."
	I sighed and turned my attention back to my soda.
	"Just, I'm sorry…" he apologized. "But I know you trust me. You know I know what's best. And you know I'm not telling you for a reason. And I wish you'd respect that."
	How do you answer to that?
	"Are you not talking to me again?" JC sighed.
	"No," I assured. "I'm just thinking."
	"Don’t bother. I'm not telling you no matter what tactic you use next," he answered. "And I'm doing it for your own good."
	I sighed. That was what was so frustrating. 
	He laughed. "You know not to argue with me. I always win."
	"Not true," I objected. 
	"You only win if we take it to the b-ball court," he replied.
	"Can we take this to the court?"
	"No." He laughed and shook his head. "Not now at least. Do you know what time it is?"
	I shook my head.
	"Guess," he answered.
	"Twelve," I answered.
	"Nope." 
	"Later or earlier?"
	"Guess," he persisted.
	"I don't know. What time is it?"
	"Two thirty."
	"Really?" I smiled. "And you're still up? This is way past your bedtime, old man!"
	"Yeah look whose talking," he retorted.
	"I don't have a bedtime," I objected. "I go to bed when I'm tired."
	"Well, I think we should both go soon," he replied. "If we want to get up tomorrow. So come on."
	"You're lucky I'm tired," I replied as I took another sip of my soda and stood up.
	"Uh-huh," he answered with a smile. He stood up. "C'mere." He put an arm out.
	"What do you want?" I looked at him suspiciously.
	"A hug, moron," he answered. "I'm happy you're not mad at me."
	I sighed and relented, giving him a hug. "Fine. Yeah, sappy, sappy. I'm not mad. Blah, blah."
	He laughed and pulled away. "Oh, just go to bed already."
	I smiled, but noticed a different look in his eye after the hug. Almost like he was glad something was okay. Something more than just us not fighting. It intrigued me. I'd just have to try again in the morning.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	I woke up with the worst pain in my side ever. Damn, it hurt. 
	I opened my eyes and immediately realized why. Lance was sleeping peacefully on the couch behind me. Chris was sleeping on the recliner. And me? I was sleeping on the floor, sitting up with my back against the chair.
	Not comfortable.
	That movie had been insanely boring.
	I got up and stretched, yawning loudly and trying stretch the cricks out of my body. Everything was stiff. My neck, my arms, my back. Everything. I didn't even remember when I'd fallen asleep. Just that we had been talking during the bad movie. 
	The phone rang and being the only one up… I had to get it. 
	I dragged myself over to the phone by Chris on the end table and took it tiredly.
	"Hello," I muttered.
	"Hey, Joe, it's your favorite morning wake-up caller…"
	"JC…" I groaned. "How are you up? You're never up."
	"We need to be up," JC answered. "Wake up Lance. Should I call Chris or do you want to?"
	"He's right here," I answered. "We all crashed in here last night."
	"That's easy enough. We have a photo shoot at twelve, you know."
	I nodded, trying to wake up myself. "Yeah, yeah. Is Curly boy up yet?"
	"Yeah, right," JC scoffed. "I just woke up like ten minutes ago thanks to Johnny calling the room twice. He showered last night though, so we shouldn't be too late."
	"Yeah, right!" I rolled my eyes. "If he already showered what's gonna wake him up then?"
	"Shut up," JC answered with a laugh. "You worry about Chris and Lance."
	"So is he still pissed about everything or can we have a normal day today?"
	There was an obvious pause. "Well… That's hard to say. When we first got back, he wouldn't talk to me. And he didn't want me to try so that's why he showered I guess. But when he came out I wasn't going to put up with it so I left and sat outside and he finally broke and we talked."
	"But is he mad at us?"
	"He said he'd been more mad at me. Because he hadn't expected me to lie to him."
	"So in other words, he expects us to lie to him or something, but not you?"
	"No. I'm just closer I guess…" he hesitated. "Don't take it personally, Joey, this was just his reasoning. But I told him it was for what's best and after a while he seemed to buy it. Then we went to bed."
	"Yeah… So you don't really know?" I was kinda irritated that Justin wasn't surprised that we had lied. 
	"No, I guess I'll find out when he wakes up. Which I should do now if we wanna be on time, so I'll talk to you later," JC answered.
	"Sure. Should we meet where?"
	"We'll come over there within an hour."
	"Okay." 
	When I hung up the phone, Chris was already waking up so I went over to Lance and shook his shoulder. 
	"Lance, man, time to get up."
	He groaned a little and then started to sit up. "We fell asleep here, huh…?" He laughed tiredly as it registered to him that he was on the couch.
	"Yeah, well, you weren't on the floor so don't talk," I answered back with a smile. "JC just called and he and Just are coming over in an hour so that we can head over to the photoshoot."
	"Fantastic," Lance mumbled sarcastically and stretched his arms over his head.
	I nodded, "Yeah. I got the shower first, guys."
	"I'll go back to my room," Chris replied. 
	Lance groaned. "I guess I'll wait.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	I think we all were pretty curious as to what was really going on in Justin's mind. Whether he had forgiven us for our faux pas and forgotten about his desire to know what he couldn't, or whether he would persist in trying to find out and hold it against us until he had his truth. I wished I could use my some skills from my damn attempted psych major to get it through to him that no matter how annoying he was, we weren't going to tell him.
	I guess I should've been able to tell by now. I mean, it was a quarter to twelve and we'd met up and survived a car ride together. But honestly I couldn't tell if his disposition was his regular morning mood or an 'I'm still mad at you' mood. And JC just shrugged every time I gave him a look.
	"Did he ask you this morning?" I whispered to JC as we entered the photo studio. 
	JC eyed me curiously. "Ask me what?"
	"About the whole thing again."
	JC shook his head. "He doesn't use a lot of words in the morning. And I can't understand half of them anyway. But I think it's all fine now."
	That's what he thought. Good old optimistic JC. Can't trust any of his opinions apparently. As soon as Justin was near me and clear eyed enough he started up.
	"So Chris..." he began cunningly.
	"So Curly..." I answered in the same tone.
	"Had any interesting conversations lately?" 
	I gazed at him. "Yep. Funny, they were all about you."
	He frowned slightly but tried not to break. "Is that so? Wanna tell your best friend?"
	I pretended to look around me. "If he were here I honestly would..." I turned my attention back to him as he punched me in the shoulder.
	"Not nice," he objected.
	"I'm not telling you," I answered.  "I thought we were done with this."
	Justin worked his jaw and I could just imagine how hard he was trying to think of some compelling argument to swap secrets. "Don't you understand where I'm coming from, Chris?" he said softly, trying to get me to find him endearing or something. 
	"Your act isn't working," I answered. "Just so that you know."
	"What act?" He blinked innocently.
	"Yes, I understand where you're coming from," I started. "Do I care? Sure, but I can't tell you. It was a group decision and I can't on my own decide to go against it."
	"I'm not part of the group?" 
	"Ironically, not this one."
	He gave me a look. "Chris, seriously, I don't think you understand."
	"Seriously?" I mock sighed.
	"Look, Curly," Joey said as he came up to us and pointed to the wardrobe rack. "We're doing different colors and you, my friend, can be baby blue."
	"Maybe I don't want to be baby blue today," Justin replied. 
	Joey put a hand on Justin's forehead, mock checking for a fever. "Do my ears deceive me?"
	"Maybe I don't want to do a photo shoot today," Justin continued stiffly.
	"He's still mad," I informed Joey.
	Joey rolled his eyes. "Ya think? Justin, come on. Don't start with us. We went through this yesterday."
	"And I had a whole night to think about it and I still don't understand," Justin answered. "And it still hurts. What are you 'protecting' me from?"
	"Justin..." JC started as he came up behind us, Lance beside him. "Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"
	"Probably," Justin replied. "I thought about it and I still want to know."
	"We talked about this," JC answered. "The argument ended last night. So stop."
	"I'm not smiling until you tell me," Justin persisted. "So for the whole photo shoot..."
	"Then we'll do serious shots," Lance answered.
	"No big deal," Joey agreed.
	"Then I'll smile when you don't," Justin countered.
	"That's okay," I answered with a shrug. "We don't all have to be smiling. Hell, you don't even have to be in the photo shoot. Don't they have enough pictures of your damn face?"
	"Fine," Justin replied hotly. "Then I won't be in it." He started walking away but Joey caught his arm.
	"Chris didn't mean it, Curls," he assured. 
	"Yes I did," I objected. "Let him do what he wants. I don't care. I don't need him bitching to me all day. No means no." 
	"Chris, come on," JC protested. "He's just curious."
	"Curiosity killed the cat," I retorted.
	Justin smiled. "Meow."
	Before we could continue, a loud clearing of a throat caught our attention and we turned to see the photographer summoning us over with a grin the size of Texas.
	"How are you boys doing?" he asked in a nasally tone as he ran a hand through his graying hair. "Well you all look fabulous."
	"So do you," I answered with a grin.
	He laughed, throwing a hand out and putting it over his heart. "Why, thanks, Christopher. We should get started. Are you boys ready to look fabulous?"
	"More than ready," I replied with fake enthusiasm. The man just grinned at me like I was making his day. Joey sent me a laughing look. 
	"Follow me and I'll take you to hair and makeup. Everything's going to go great," the man persisted as he turned and started walking away. We just followed obediently.
	I grabbed Justin's sides. "Aren't I funny?" I whispered.
	He tried not to smile. "Funny looking. Stop..." He swatted at my hands.
	"Ssstop," I mimicked. "Leave me alone or I won't smile."
	"Chris..." he complained. "You really don't understand how I feel." He just shook his head and I sighed. What he didn't know was that I felt just as bad. 
:-:-:-:-:
	Forty five minutes later Justin was true to his promise during the photos. And although we had warned him that it wouldn't effect us at all, it really was. He was slowing everything down and it looked like we were gonna be here forever. We were still on the first set. He was being a huge drama queen. 
	"Justin, darling," the photographer crooned. "Smile for me, sweetie, will you?"
	Justin stared, unfazed. "Aren't I smiling?" He glared.
	"Um, no."
	"Oh."
	"Justin," I hissed. 
	"Did someone die?" the photographer persisted. "Why aren't you happy? You're ruining my photo and you usually brighten it!" He put his arms akimbo and just stared at us. "This is supposed to be a happy scene..."
	"I'm not feeling happy," Justin answered. 
	"Can you pretend? Doll, you've always been so good at pretending." 
	Justin created a fake smile, that simply look like he was baring his teeth.
	The photographer just grimaced and shook his head. "This isn't working at all. Guys, take a break. Justin, honey, please,try to focus."
	I poked Justin in the stomach and started tickling him. "Smile, dammit. Before I kill you!"
	"No," Justin refused as he pushed me away. "Piss off, Chris. I'm not pretending today!"
	I sighed. "Why do you have to make our live and the photographer's life hell, Justin?""
	"Because lying sucks," he replied stiffly.
	JC sighed as he walked over. "We're gonna kill you, do you understand that?"
	"That would make for a nice theme for this photo shoot," Justin answered. "*NSYNC massacre."
	JC shook his head. "No, I don't think you understand. Justin, you are making what is already hell into an eternal inferno, do you comprende?"
	"I'm having fun."
	"Then smile!"
	"No," Justin replied. "Now you know how I feel when you don't give me what I want." 
	"I know where you're coming from," I said. "But it's tough when we're working. I know you understand that. Now let's just take a break and try to get through this. Wanna get a drink?"
	He stared at me and sighed. "Fine." He started walking away. I watched him until he was out of earshot.
	"If he's not smiling when we come back," I started as I turned to the guys, who were looking worried, "you can kill me."
	Lance frowned. "What are you gonna do? Or say?"
	I bit my lip and laughed nervously. "I haven't the slightest damn clue."
	"Don't take too long, Chris," Joey answered. "We don't wanna be here any longer than necessary."
	"We're already here longer than necessary," JC sighed.
	"Chris, come on!" Justin called from the door.
	I waved him off, glancing at him briefly. "Maybe you can start on individual shots. We'll be back in a few."
	They nodded and I turned to follow Justin with a sigh. 
	What the hell was I gonna do? 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I knew Chris's intent when he asked me to go with him to get a drink. But whatever he thought he was going to say or do to make me change my mind about this whole thing, I wasn't going to let it persuade me. No matter what.
	"Justin, wait up, dude..."
	I turned and glanced at Chris, who was jogging to catch up to me. "Well, hurry." 
	"Okay, we gotta talk..." he said once he was in stride with me. I sighed. Here we go. 
	"I thought we were getting a drink."
	"Oh we are. Hold your horses."
	I rolled my eyes. "Can I have money? You're treating, remember?"
	"I remember," he answered tiredly. "You have to give me a break here, man."
	"What do you mean?" I answered, turning to look at him again.
	"I mean you gotta stop giving us such a hard time. To be blunt, you're being an asshole, Justin."
	"I am not. I'm just proving a point."
	"Immaturely."
	I kept walking, quickening my pace just slightly but he kept up. "Like your 'I know something you don't know' isn't?"
	"Oh don't give me that. We're not rubbing it in like that."
	"You don't have to," I persisted. 
	"I don't understand why you're taking it so personally." Chris sighed. "The four of us just needed to talk. It's like when your parents talk, you can't expect them to tell you about it."
	"That's nothing like this," I retorted. "It's about me."
	"You think your parents don't talk about you?" he answered.
	I sighed. What happened to getting a drink? Where was the stupid soda machine? If after all this there wasn't one.... 
	I saw one up ahead and gave a sigh of relief, starting towards it. I pressed the buttons and stared at Chris expectantly.
	"Oh, you expect me to buy you a drink after you treat me like that?" he started as he crossed his arms and stood beside the machine. "After you won't even have a decent conversation with me?"
	"Uh, yeah." I nodded. "I do."
	He sighed and dug into his back pocket. "You are so obnoxious today. I'm not liking this." He handed me a five dollar bill.
	"What do you want?" I answered as I gazed over the different types. 
	"Coke," he sighed.
	While I got two cokes we were silent. I handed him his and watched him open it before doing the same to mine. His eyes met mine as I looked up. He had a determined look.
	"You going to smile for this goddamn shoot or what, bro?" he asked.
	"Or what," I answered. "Unless of course, you tell me right now...."
	"Like hell I will. Then I'll be going against the other guys, Justin. Look... let's make a deal," he started.
	"Like what?" I frowned.
	"You act like you're the happiest boy in the whole friggin world and I'll give you a hundred bucks."
	I eyed him carefully, feeling so guilty but powerful at the same time. "What would JC say to this?"
	"You don't want to know."
	I would feel bad accepting it... I wasn't that obnoxious. Was I?
	"What does that mean if I take it?" I persisted.
	"That you're a spoiled brat. But if you smile I don't care. I want to get this shoot over with." 
	"Chris..." I objected. "No, then."
	"Then will you smile?"
	"Tell me!" I took a sip of my soda. "Come on. I'm not even going to go back if you don't tell me..."
	"Ugh, every second you're raising the stakes, Curly, and that's not fair. You're not being fair to the group."
	"The group isn't being fair to me."
	"Then cry about it. Don't ruin our career."
	I rolled my eyes. "One photo shoot."
	He just stared at me.
	"Chris, put yourself in my shoes," I started again.
	"You and JC already talked about this last night," he answered. "What happened? What changed over night?"
	"I thought about it," I replied. "And decided I didn't want to give in that easily."
	"You're not giving in. You're not complying to anything. You're just being the nice and amiable Justin that we know and love."
	"And what if I don't?"
	"I already told you. Spoiled. Brat."
	I shook my head. "You're being so unfair to me."
	"I don't care." He frowned. "What do you think Joey, JC, and Lance are thinking about you right now?"
	I crossed my arms and set my jaw. Chris mimicked me and I turned away. "Stop it."
	"How ridiculous are you being?" he persisted. "You're not smiling for a shoot? How stupid is that?"
	I shrugged. "It seemed to piss you guys off enough."
	"You think it's gonna make us tell you?"
	I shrugged again. Let's see... Silent treatment down the tube. Refusing to smile sizzling out... What could I do next? 
	"You're making me feel stupid," I complained with a sigh.
	"You are being stupid," he answered. "News flash."
	I grunted.
	"How about Johnny?" Chris threatened. "I'll call him right now, tell him what you're doing."
	I eyed him carefully.
	"I will," Chris persisted. "You think he'll be happy with you?"
	He wouldn't be happy. Not at all. But I didn't want Chris to know that I understood that. "He'll side with me. He'll understand."
	"You know what he'll understand? That you're messing up a shoot. That's what he'll understand."
	"I'm not messing it up."
	"Justin, come on . . ."
	
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"Guys, I'm sorry..." I started as I watched Joey pacing and Lance just standing there. The photographer was getting coffee and more film. I couldn't believe Justin was doing this. I didn't know he had the capability to be so ridiculous... Well of course he had the capability, but I didn't think he had the stupidity too. Our whole day was gonna be wasted.
	Lance shook his head at me. "Why are you sorry? You have no reason to be."
	"No, if I hadn't slipped up and made him suspicious when I talked to him," I objected. "He would've never known that all you were sitting in your hotel room."
	"Oh, JC, don't dwell on that," Joey replied as he walked back towards us. "Look, this will probably only last a couple more minutes and then we'll zip through it. Chris will knock some sense into him and it'll be fine."
	"And if he doesn't?" I answered.
	"Then we tickle him to death, that's all." Joey cracked a smile. "How long can he not smile? It's Justin for God's sake. Even if we don't say anything, just make a weird sound or something, and he'll be hysterical. He'll crack sooner or later."
	I laughed despite myself. "Yeah, I guess so..."
	"You know him better than any of us, come on. You know it's true," Lance said. "Joey's right."
	I looked at them ambivalently. "Yeah. Okay, yeah. You probably are, Joe."
	He grinned. "Of course I am. And if I'm not, can I be in the front of the photo shoot for once with these beautiful pearly whites? I brushed today, look."
	I shook my head and laughed as he smiled as wide as he could at me. I know he was trying to get me to feel better. But I was really worried. I wasn't sure whether we were doing the right thing with the note... Maybe Justin should know. How could he be prepared in case something did happen if he had no idea? 
	"Yeah, Joey, you can go in the front," I replied. "Actually, I think the photographer's calling for you. Because Lance and I already did our shots."
	Joey turned around. "Oh yeah. Okay. Be right back." He jogged off to the set.
	I looked at Lance with a sigh. "So what do you think, man?"
	"I say we don't worry until they come back. Then we'll see, alright?"
	I nodded. "Sounds good to me."
	I felt so bad. I mean…if only I hadn't opened my mouth to Justin that night, or if he weren't so damn curious…Well, he had a right to be. I couldn't hold that against him. Any of us would feel the same. But not like this. I never expected this. Why did the end of every conversation I had with him seem so perfect and then conclude with him turning around to act like a dope?
	No, like Lance and Joey said, don’t blame yourself. It's gonna work out anyway. 
	I heard some voices and looked up to see Chris and Justin approaching with soda in hand. My eyes studied Justin, trying to anticipate what mood he would bestow on us. Please be good…
	"Here they come…" Lance said with a laugh. "I have my fingers crossed."
	My gaze switched to Chris and was pleasantly surprised to see a smug look on his face. That was probably good. Meant he most likely got through to Justin. Thank God.
	He met my eye and gave me a grin. I returned it. "Looks like he's fine now," I mentioned to Lance. "Look at Chris."
	"Yeah…" Lance agreed. "Looks like it."
	"Hey, bro," I greeted Justin as they came closer to us. "You feeling better?"
	Justin's eyes met mine and he looked regretful. "Yeah. I'm sorry."
	"Don't be," I assured him with a smile. "I understand. Any of us would be the same in the same situation."
	"You're not mad?" A smile started to form at the corners of his mouth. "Or disappointed?"
	"Gimme some of that soda and it never happened," I replied as I wondered what Chris had said that I hadn't that fixed this. I hoped it lasted, whatever it was.
	Justin grinned and handed me the can.
	"Freeze!" Lance exclaimed as he put his hands up, pretending to focus in on Justin. "Keep smiling… Good…" He pretended to be a photographer. 
	Justin laughed and tried to be solemn but couldn't. "Yeah, I'm gonna smile now. Chris said I was pissing everyone off." He sent a small smile Chris's way. "I don't want to spend all day here either." 
	"You got that right," I replied. "We've had solos done and Joey's getting 'em now, so you and Chris'll be next and then we'll do group again."
	 "Okay." Justin nodded. "Then can we go get lunch or something? Man, I'm starving . . ."
	"Ooh, don't start with me…" I laughed after a sip of his soda. "Don't even go there. You're the reason why we're here so long." 
	He shrugged. "Okay, okay… Chill… Want me to buy lunch?"
	"Yeah right!" Chris answered. "Whatever."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	Finally things seemed to be running smoothly. The photo shoot proceeded to go fairly quickly and Justin was in a relatively good mood. It was obvious that he was searching for a new approach to getting the secret out of us but he was at least being normal about it this time. No unusual tactics as of yet. 
	Starving, we'd found a mall. It was still during school hours for the local kids, so we knew we wouldn't have too much trouble. We only had minimal security but we weren't expecting anything so didn't think about it too much. 
	Once we found the food court, we all went different directions. Chris and I wanted pizza. JC and Justin felt like McDonald's. Joey wanted Mexican. So we found a table to meet at and all went to our different lines. Nothing like a junk food smörgåsbord.
	I got back with Chris first so we started eating. We didn't want to start without the other guys, but we were starving.
	JC came back next and set down his food as he sat. 
	"Where's Justin?" I asked, frowning.
	"He said he was gonna find you guys. He was bored of the line," JC answered. "He's probably with Joey."
	I shrugged and started to eat again. 
	"What are we doing the rest of the day?" Chris asked.
	"We're free," JC answered. "I think… Scoop?"
	I nodded and took a sip of soda. "You got it."
	Another tray hit the table and we looked up to see Joey sitting down. Alone. We stared at him and then exchanged a look.
	"That line was so damn long," Joey muttered and he snapped open a can of soda. The top popped off and he tossed it aside. Then he looked up. "What? Why you guys looking at me like that?"
	"Joey… Where's Curly?" JC asked.
	"He was with you I thought," Joey answered. "Why?"
	"We thought he was with you," Lance answered.
	Joey frowned. "What?" he replied. "Why would you think that? JC, he was in line with you. You both were getting Mickey D's, I thought."
	JC nodded, growing more nervous with each second. "He said he was going to look for you guys…"
	"He obviously didn't find us," I answered. "Calm down, JC." But I was nervous too. Could this be what we'd been fearing? Justin would have no idea about any possible danger and not be careful enough? 
	"Lonnie!" Chris called over to a neighboring table where our guards Lonnie and Mike were having their own lunch.
	Lonnie looked over. "What now, Chris?" 
	"Do you see anything wrong with this picture?" Chris replied as he gestured at himself and us.
	It only took a second.
	Lonnie frowned. "Is Curly under the table or something?" He laughed and shook his head. "Are you for real, man? Where is he? This ain't funny, fellas."
	"Are we laughing?" Chris retorted.
	"Shit," Lonnie answered. His eyes quickly scanned the food court. I could see him growing slightly nervous too. Not as bad as us, but then again, he didn't know the whole story…
	"JC, you never told security did you?" I whispered.
	JC shook his head, eyes wide. "No. I was going to, but never got a chance... Oh shit . . ."
	"Lonnie, c'mere . . ." Joey started. "There's something you need to know."
	Glancing at Mike with a bemused look, Lonnie got up and walked over. He rested his hands on our table. "What do I need to know?"
	"Justin might be in danger…" I started gently. "He got this note…"
	"See, it was in the fan-mail," JC continued. "It was about the whole ordeal of him being a witness and… and how it might not be over…" 
	Lonnie's eyes widened. "What? Jesus, tell me you're kidding…"
	"Why would he kid about something like that, Lon?" Joey answered.
	Lonnie stood straighter and groaned, crossing his arms across his chest. "Guys, why wasn't this brought to my attention? Or any of the other security?" he began angrily.
	"I was going to," JC admitted softly. "But Justin's always with me. We weren't going to tell him yet. He's always with me…"
	"Well, he ain't now, huh?" Lonnie snapped. "Look, guys, I have to protect his sorry white ass and if someone or something is out to get him, I need to know. Don’t you understand that? Even if you thought it was a joke. Is this what he's upset about you keeping from him?"
	I nodded. "Yeah…"
	Lonnie shook his head. "Well, damn…"
	"Do you think we should tell him?" I persisted. "We're scared he might get paranoid…"
	"Well, paranoid is better than walking around anywhere he wants thinking he's all that and a bag of chips, ain't it?" Lonnie replied. "I mean if he's in danger… Man, this is serious. Now he's gone and… I can't believe you didn't—"
	Lonnie broke off when suddenly something—or someone rather—jumped on his back and nearly made him topple over. It was Justin. A unanimous sigh of relief came from our table. Justin laughed as he got off him.
	"Where the hell were you?" Lonnie snapped angrily. 
	Justin took a quick step back, unprepared for his anger. "Huh? Chill…"
	"Chill? Uh-uhn. What were you thinking? Do you have any idea?" Lonnie persisted. He shook his head. "God dammit… I can't deal with this. Eat lunch. I'll talk to you later…"
	Justin stood there stunned as Lonnie walked away. I gave him a smile and took his wrist. "Just sit down."
	"What was that?" Justin murmured as he acquiesced. "What'd I do?"
	"Where'd you go?" JC answered stiffly as he pushed food in front of him. "You told me you were gonna look for the guys."
	"Then I really, really needed to go to the bathroom," Justin answered softly, shifting in his chair. "I don't understand why everyone's so freaked out. I was gone for like a minute. You haven't even really started eating yet."
	"Why'd you go alone?" 
	"I didn't know I needed an escort. The bathroom was like two feet away."
	"Just shut up. Don’t do it again," Joey replied. 
	"Don’t go to the bathroom again?" Justin answered. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "What is with you guys? You know, I can piss on my own, thank you very much." 
	"Stop it," JC snapped. "It's not funny, Justin. We didn't know where you were."
	Justin frowned and pushed around a couple of fries. "I don’t understand anything that's going on lately… You guys are so weird… I just went to the bathroom."
	"Forget about it," Chris assured. "None of us are mad. Right, JC? Joe?"
	"Right," they both muttered.
	I studied Justin guiltily. If only he knew why we weren't under normal circumstances… Then maybe he might realize why were acting like this. Well, duh, of course he would know then. But then he might not have a desired reaction to the whole thing.
	At least he'd be safe.
	Maybe we should tell him.
	I felt bold for a moment and looked up from my pizza at the guys.  
	"Guys, maybe we should tell Justin now…" I started slowly. "So he understands more…"
	The looks I got were of daggers and I shrank back slightly. Maybe not… I glanced at Justin and found a look of intrigue.
	"Yeah, tell me…" Justin said quietly.
	"No." JC shook his head.
	"Why not?" I answered quietly.
	"Yeah, why not?" Justin repeated.
	"Stay out of this," Joey answered. "Just eat, Curly."
	"But you're talking about me…" he objected. 
	"Lance, we'll talk about it later," Chris assured. "I'm with you."
	Joey and JC looked at us like we were crazy.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	How could Chris and Lance possibly think that we should tell Justin about this whole thing? Lance of all people. The one who Justin went to the entire time this was going on. He saw right up front what was going on. We only saw the aftermath. How could he want to go through that again?	
	And Chris. Didn't Chris remember having to pin the kid down to find out what his problem was? This whole thing would be repeated then. Would Curly trust us once he found out we'd been keeping so much from him? Such an important secret? He'd hate us! It would be even worse than how he acted when he just knew it was something he didn't know. Once he actually found out…
	"If we tell him, we should act like we just got the note," I started as I looked at Lance and JC across the table. Chris had taken Justin to an arcade with Lonnie, who had calmed down, so we had the opportunity to talk. 
	"But then we'll still have to explain what we've been 'hiding' if we say that," JC objected. "He'll probably figure it out. If not, he'll still be curious anyway as to what it was… And then it'll really be nothing!"
	"Look, JC, once he finds out someone's after him, he's gonna forget all about the little meeting we had without him," Lance answered.
	JC leaned back, taking his soda in his hand. He had an uncertain look. "I just want him to be careful without scaring him…"
	"That's what we all want," I reminded. "Not just you, JC."
	He sighed. "I know, Joe. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do it… I could tell him alone if you want… He might deal with it better like that…"
	"You know, he's gonna know that we've known for a while," Lance started. "If you tell him it was in the fan-mail. He'll remember what happened."
	"We could pretend that me and Chris don't know," I answered. "That way it's not like he's the only one that didn't know. I can act just as surprised, you know?"
	"We have to tell him though, I guess," JC replied. "Right? We've decided that much?"
	I shrugged. "I don't know. I don’t think so."
	"Then what are you doing planning how to tell him?" Lance answered with a sarcastic smile. 
	I laughed. "Well, in case we have to. I mean, I see your reasoning, Scoop, but I don't wanna see him all freaked out again. He's gonna fall back or regress, whatever you wanna call it, and I don't want that."
	"None of us do and we're not gonna let it happen, alright?" Lance answered.
	I eyed him. "I don't wanna take that chance."
	"Well, then whatta you gonna do? Tell him he's not allowed to be scared, Joe?"
	I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, when I am too? No. Of course not."
	"We have to tell him," Lance said quietly. "Look at him today. He went off somewhere alone and even though nothing did happen, it was the perfect opportunity for something to."
	I shivered at the thought of Justin never coming back…"Don't say that."
	"Yeah," JC whispered. "I'm the one who let him go…"
	Lance looked regretful. "Sorry. But you know what I mean."
	"Yeah," I admitted quietly. 
	"I mean, we should generally be proud of him for running off," JC started. "That he had the guts too. Six months ago, you know…"
	I shook my head and rubbed my temples. Old memories were going to be kicked up like dust and we were gonna choke. I could just see it now… Justin was not ready to go through this.
	"He's not ready for this," I spoke.
	"He doesn't get a choice. We don't get a choice," Lance answered. "Joe, even JC thinks that we should tell him… Doesn't that tell you anything?"
	I rolled my eyes. Oh, yes, the all knowing, all powerful JC Chasez. He was the one that screwed up.
	But it gave us a reason to tell him the truth. Which maybe we should do…
	Damn. JC and Lance were convincing. 
	I looked up and found them staring. I smiled ruefully. "I guess… But I swear… if he gets upset—"
	"Then what?" JC interrupted. "Because you know he will."
	"Guys," Lance started, clearing his throat. "Let's not fight about it now. Let's find Justin and Chris. Why don't we go to a movie or something? We need a distraction."
	"Yeah, a distraction," I laughed dryly. "Geez, guys. How did this happen? Since when isn't it over?"
	"When did we stop thinking about it?" JC sighed. "I just started to forget and wham! We're back at square one."
	"It won't be that bad," Lance assured slowly. "Last time, Justin kept it to himself. That's why he was so emotionally drained and stressed after everything. That's not gonna happen. We'll be with him from the beginning."
	I felt myself start to get nervous, as if the potential seriousness of the situation was just setting in. 
	"At least Lonnie knows now too," I began tiredly. "You know he won't leave him alone any time now."
	"Justin will make him leave him alone," JC said with a laugh. "Trust me."
	"I hope not."
	JC shrugged. 
	"Guys, they're coming back," Lance announced as his eyes focused behind JC and me. "We'll talk later."
	"Let's go for your movie idea," I answered. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I don't know what was up with the guys, but from lunch on, it was if they were trying to fit everything they had ever thought of doing into the remaining hours of the day. How ridiculous. I had exhausted myself being difficult in the morning and was not happy to be dragged along the rest of the day. First it was okay. We saw a movie. But then we found this outdoor shopping place that was huge. It had outlet stores and some rides and we seemed to spend forever there. Even my shopping enthusiasm was wearing out.
	When we finally got back to the hotel, I was pretty much sleep-walking. I really couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I was sick of the sight-seeing.
	"We're not going anywhere else, are we?" I murmured as we walked down the hall.
	"Arcade!" Chris grabbed my arm. "Just kidding, Curly. You look exhausted."
	"Maybe that's 'cause I am," I answered.
	"Me too," Joey replied. "My legs are killing me. Whose idea was it to go to that place?"
	"Yours, remember?" Lance answered. "You saw it when we were driving by."
	Joey shrugged. "Oh yeah..."
	"It was fun though," JC said. "Until we couldn't find the parking lot… But it was fun."
	"Sleeping is more fun," I answered.
	"We're almost there," Lance assured. 
	Once we got to our door and said good night to the guys, I swear it took JC an hour to open our door. Just when I was deciding whether or not to fall asleep in the hall he opened it and walked in. 
	The lights were dim so I stumbled across the room to my bed. "Sleep…" I collapsed face down.
	"I'm just gonna change," JC answered. 
	"Mm…" I heard him locking the room door.
	"You should change too," he continued. I heard him walk further into the room.
	I sighed and rolled over, rubbing my eyes. "In a minute…" I stretched my arms behind me, slipping my hands under the pillow. I felt something sharp against my skin and gasped, sitting up. 
	Paper. Who put paper there? 
	I stuck my finger in my mouth and grabbed the paper, squinting to see it. "JC…"
	"What's the matter…" he asked from across the room. 
	"Here…"
	I heard him drop whatever he was doing, probably sifting through clothes, and come over dragging his feet like I'd interrupted something important. "What is it."
	I put the paper on the desk/table between our beds. "I found this," I replied as I tried to look at my finger. "It was under here and I cut my finger… It's dark, I don't know what it says… Why would housekeeping do that?"
	"Go run water over your finger," he answered. He took the paper. "Go on, don't worry about it."
	I gave him the most annoyed look I could manage at that hour and slipped off the bed towards the bathroom. Once I got there, I flipped on the lights and blinked, eyes hurting with the bright light. 
	"What is it, JC?" I called out as I ran the water like he'd said. "The maid leave it?" He didn't answer. I squinted to glance in the mirror and sighed at my hair. Ugh, how come they didn't say anything… 
	I held my hand in front of me and stared at my finger. It was such a little cut but it hurt so bad. I could see a drop of blood. I stuck my finger in my mouth and then looked at it again to see a new drop of blood forming.
	"JC!" I yelled as I stuck my hand under the flow of cold water. Why wasn’t he answering me? "Have we got any bandaids?"
	I dried off my hand and walked out of the bathroom. "JC, should I—" I broke off when I saw him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over, head in his hands. "JC?" 
	Immediately I was wide awake. I strode over quickly and noticed the paper on the desk again and reached for it.
	"Justin!" His hand quickly shot out and caught my wrist, wrenching me back. 
	I looked at him in shock and tried to shake him off. "What? What'd I do?"
	"Nothing… Here, sit…" He guided me over as he sat up. 
	"Are you okay?" I answered as I took a seat next to him.
	"Justin, we have to talk…" He put an arm around me. 
	"JC…" What was going on? Why was he being like this? It was too weird. I didn't like it. I wanted to push his arm away but I didn't. "What's wrong?"
	"This is gonna be hard to say…" JC started. Then he paused. "Actually, why don't we go over to Joey and Lance's? It'll be easier that way…"
	"No. I don’t want to. You're scaring me…" I answered. "What's going on?"
	"You'll see." He stood up and tried to pull me up but I shook my head and laid back on the bed. "Curls, come on, please."
	"No. I'm tired and you're freaking me out." I braced myself.
	"I'm sorry," he replied. "I'm tired too. Why don't we go over to their room though?"
	"Why?"
	"Because I'd rather we all be together."
	"Why?" I persisted. I could feel myself getting worked up. JC had never been like this before and I could tell something was seriously wrong… But what?
	"Just, please don't fight me on this…" he pleaded, taking my arm. "I have to talk to the guys and I want you to come."
	"I don't understand." I faltered. "Why do I have to come?"
	"So you don’t get mad that we left you out again."
	"I won't be… Wait, this has to do with that?" I answered. "Is it the same thing? What'd the note say? What's—"
	He took my other arm and continued to pull me up. "Justin. Come on. I'm telling you to do something here. Listen to me."
	"Am I gonna know finally?" I asked as I let him make me stand. I reached for the note again but he moved away and stuffed it in his pocket. 
	"Probably," he replied.  
	Probably? What kind of answer was that? That usually meant yes, I think. I made a face and he sighed, starting for the door. 
	"You wanna change or anything first?" he asked. 
	I shook my head.
	"Wanna bring a pillow or blanket or something?"
	"We're sleeping there?" I answered.
	"Yeah. I'll be too tired to come back," he laughed but I could tell it was forced. He had such a weird look on his face…
	"I can come back on my own. I'm not tired."
	"You were a walking zombie a minute ago," he reminded. "Get any stuff you need. We're not coming back."
	I sat back down on the bed. "Why? What's wrong with this room?"
	"I don't want to be in this room…" He sat down next to me. "I'm being really serious here, so just listen to me, okay?"
	"I'm listening," I replied.
	"Get up. Come with me to their room." He stood again and walked toward the door. Reluctantly, I grabbed my pillow and started after him. 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	I really don’t know why we'd gotten three rooms. I was always passing out in Lance and Joey's so it didn't really make sense. Well, I slept in mine the first night this week, but last night we fell asleep after talking, and tonight was just too tired and wouldn't be surprised if I wound up crashing here again. I'd stopped into theirs for a second and figured what the hell, I'll stay. Ironically, I always felt privileged when I got the draw of single room.
	Lance turned on the TV and Joey collapsed on the couch, stretching out on his back. It was looking like last night. None of us had said a word yet though. I was about to sit down when there was a hard knock on the door. I sighed and walked over, looking out the peephole. JC and Justin? What were they doing here?
	I opened the door and frowned. "Hey, guys…"
	"Can we come in?" JC looked exhausted and his forehead was creased with worry. He took Justin's arm and pushed him gently in front of him. 
	"Just, why you have a pillow?" I asked. He looked somewhat annoyed. Really tired. Confused too. "You sleeping over?"
	"Apparently," he murmured. "I don't know. He told me to bring a pillow."
	"Why? You piss JC off?" 
	"No, we're both staying," JC answered. "Justin, just chill for a minute while I talk to the guys, alright?"
	Justin gave him a pleading look. "JC… No… You made me come here and then I've gotta go away again?"
	"Yes," JC said stiffly. "Just give me a minute."
	"What's with you guys now?" Justin was exasperated. "I don't understand you all anymore." 
	"Justin, just give us a minute." 
	Justin stared at him for a moment before muttering, "Fine. Whatever you say," and hitting him with his pillow. He left it to fall on the ground as he stomped into the suite's bedroom and slammed the door.
	"What's going on?" Lance asked as he turned the TV off again. He sighed, knowing it was going to be more bizarre news.
	JC picked up the fallen pillow and sighed. "A little problem…" He brushed off the fabric. "Actually, a big problem…" He walked over to the couch and tossed the pillow on top of Joey. "Superman, get up. This is important."
	Joey murmured a curse and obeyed, sitting up and running his hands through his hair tiredly. He hugged the pillow on his lap. "What happened? Justin bugging you again?" 
	"No." JC shook his head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.
	"Oh God…" I muttered as I saw it. Not again. 
	"Is that another one?" Lance groaned.
	"Sh…" JC answered. "Justin's probably listening." He dropped his voice lower. "Look, you wanna know where this was? In his bed."
	"How'd someone get in your room?" I exclaimed.
	"Shush…" JC frowned. "I don't know. Only housekeeping would be able to get in. Or while housekeeping's there with the door open, distracted, whatever, someone could've slipped in."
	"Did Justin see it?" Joey asked quietly.
	"Yes and no…" JC started as he moved to sit down next to him. "I was going through my bag and he had already half conked out on the bed, and I guess he reached under and found it. He kind of just tossed it to me, too tired to see what the paper was… So he didn't read it, but by the way I acted I'm sure he knows it's something."
	I let out a deep breath I'd been holding. "Ugh… JC, what'd you tell him?"
	"Well, he definitely knows something's up," he answered with a sigh. "I was really freaked out about it and scared him. He knows it said something and since I won't let him read it, it's pretty obvious, you know?"
	I stood up and paced a bit. Then, I realized what I needed to do. "Justin, come here!"
	"Chris, what are you doing?" Joey objected.
	"We're telling him." I turned and glared at him. "I don't care what any of you think any more. This is ridiculous. I'll tell him if you guys won't do it with me. Lance, I know you will." 
	He nodded quietly.
	Justin emerged from the bedroom and came into the room, frowning. "What now?"
	"We want to talk to you," I replied as I went to sit down again. 
	Justin walked over to the couch and sat down next to JC, reaching over him to grab the pillow back from Joey. He pulled it into his lap and didn't say anything.
	"You want to know?" I asked.
	He nodded, giving an uneasy look. "Yeah..."
	"We should start from the beginning…" Lance spoke.
	"Go ahead, you start," Joey answered.
	Lance rolled his eyes. "Okay… Well, Justin, do you remember on the bus the other day when—"
	"I knew it!" Justin cried. "I knew this had something to do with that…"
	"Okay, rule number one," Joey started. "Don't interrupt. Okay?"
	Justin smiled slightly to himself, as though pleased he knew where things connected, but it was brief. The looks on our faces must have been enough to show it was nothing to smile about.
	"Okay, the other day on the bus I found this letter," Lance started. "I showed JC first, as you know." Justin was nodding. "Anyway, you're probably wondering what the letter was about… Um… Well...  I'm sure you remember everything that happened to you six months ago when you went into that shop one morning…"
	I watched Lance paused. Justin shifted uncomfortably between JC and me. He suddenly looked nervous, like he wasn't sure if he should know after all. 
	"Well, this letter brought all that back up," Lance continued. I'm glad he was doing this and not me. "It seemed to imply that it wasn't over… And what you just found and gave to JC was another one. Another letter." 
	The room was silent. I waited for something. For him to try and get up or at least to say something. But instead he was quiet. He had a blank look on his face.
	"Justin?" JC asked, putting a hand on his back. He was frozen. "What are you thinking?"
	"Nothing," he answered. "I'm going to bed." He pulled up from the couch and no one stopped him as he walked away, heading back towards the bedroom with his pillow in his hand.
	"Uh-oh…" I whispered as I listened to the bedroom door shut softly. 
	The four of us exchanged a look.
	"Well, that went better than I expected," Joey said quietly. "I thought he'd start screaming."
	"I bet a lot more things make sense to him now," JC sighed. "But I'm going to go check on him, alright?"
	We nodded and he left.
	"So what are we thinking…?" Lance started.
	"That you had guts to tell him." I smiled wryly. "I couldn't have told him."
	"You said you were going to," Joey reminded. "If we didn't."
	I shrugged. "I know I said that. But I don't know if I could've. Least, not as well." 
	"So I did good?" Lance said with a relieved expression. "I had no idea what to say. I mean, what do you say?"
	"The truth." I shrugged. "I mean, exactly what you did." 
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	For the first time in my life, I couldn't tell by the tone of Justin's voice what he was thinking... Mostly because I had no anticipated reaction from him to begin with. I hadn't known what to expect, so I couldn't say his retreat was unexpected… I couldn't say that him saying nothing was what I had hoped for or foreseen. It wasn't…
	I opened the door slowly and slipped in, shutting it behind me. Only one light was on so the room was darkened. I saw him lying on the bed, head propped up with a pillow behind it, and arms crossed across his chest. His eyes were closed but I doubted he was asleep.
	"What do you want, JC…?" he asked as I approached.
	Yep. Not asleep.
	I paused. "Nothing."
	"Then what are you doing here?" 
	"I wanted to see if my best friend was okay," I replied gently as I sat on the edge of the bed. He shifted over so I laid down next to him. 
	"I'm not," he replied.
	"No, huh?" I answered softly. "I wouldn't be either."
	"That's nice."
	I sighed, hearing the stiffness in his tone. "Justin, I don't know what to tell you."
	"Then don't tell me. Why change tactics now…?" he muttered.
	"You know we had our reasons," I answered. "You're mad because we didn't tell you?"
	He shook his head and sighed. "I'm not mad," he murmured.
	I studied him. "You sure?"
	"Yeah. Being mad now is pointless."
	I paused. "You scared?"
	He nodded quickly. 
	"It's okay…" I soothed as I shifted to put an arm around his shoulders. "Nothing's happened. You haven't seen anybody. Everyone knows about it this time so nothing's going to happen."
	"How do you know?" he persisted in this lost tone as he pushed closer. I was amazed we were skipping the anger part, but that was okay with me. "What if something does?"
	"You're not going to be alone for it to happen," I answered. "Right?"
	He nodded again. 
	"Maybe it's a joke," I started. "Who knows? Maybe someone just created it and they have no idea what happened. It might not even be relevant to last time."
	"It is," he answered. "I know it is." He sniffled briefly, but then cleared his throat. "Who though?"
	"I don't know, Justin…"
	"How do they know where I am?"
	"I don't know," I repeated. "I don't want you to get all panicky on me about this, alright? That's what I was trying to protect you from. I didn't want you to know in case it wasn't real…"
	"You should've told me…" he answered. "What if when I left to go to the bathroom at the mall and I was on my own something happened?"
	"Don’t say that," I answered sternly. 
	"Someone might've been there," he persisted in a broken tone. "And I had no idea…"
	"But nothing happened, huh?" I squeezed his shoulders. "Nothing. You didn't even see anything."
	"I wasn't paying attention…" he murmured. "I didn't know." 
	"There's no need to..."
	"Yeah there is. Otherwise you wouldn't have freaked out. Oh God… Someone might've been in there…" 
	I sighed, trying to formulate in my mind something to say that would reassure him. But I didn't even know how to reassure myself. All of us had been panicked since the moment we knew about the first note. 
	"I don't remember what he looked like…" Justin said as he leaned into me. "The two guys… I barely remember at all."
	"That's okay…" I assured.
	"No, it's not. What if I see them and don't know it?"
	"Wouldn't you rather not knowing it?" I replied as I pulled at his hair playfully. "I wouldn't want to know. You'll be safe either way."
	"But then they might get closer…" he persisted.
	"Look, I called the precinct. You know the one you went to about the whole thing…"
	"Did they ever catch either of them?" Justin brightened hopefully. "The woman gave names, remember?"
	"Yeah…" I answered. "But no… They think it was bogus…" I watched his expression grow disappointed and sighed. Well, I couldn’t lie. "They still have her."
	"She's not getting out, right?" he started.
	"Nope. No time soon."
	"Maybe I could…" he trailed off slightly.
	"You could what?"
	"Talk to her…" he answered slowly. "Find out what's going on. If she's not getting out, she shouldn't want the others to be free, right? She'd tell me?" 
	"Justin, listen to yourself…" I replied. "Do you really think you would go through with that?" Hell, did he really think anyone would let him go? If he did he was dreaming.
	He was silent. 
	"Okay, listen… Why don’t we all try and get some sleep. We're staying in here like I said; you want that, right?" I watched him nod. "Stay here if you want. I’m just gonna talk to the guys…" I started to get up but he grabbed my hand. 
	"Don't go," he whispered. "Wait a minute." 
	I sat down again with a small smile. "Why?"
	"Just because."
	"Okay," I agreed. "Wanna talk more?"
	"No. Just sit for a minute, okay?"
	"Alright." I shrugged. This was not going to be easy.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	So we let the cat out of the bag. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Actually… maybe it was. Just because he hadn't said anything didn't mean that he wasn't holding it against us. He hadn't been dramatically upset like I thought he would be. More in shock, I think. He hadn't even said anything about us keeping it from him.
	I guess we'd know by his behavior tomorrow how he was going to respond to it all. I really didn't want to wait that long and I knew neither Lance or Chris did either. But JC was talking to him so we couldn't really butt in.
	"What do you think he's saying to him?" I asked.
	Chris shrugged. "I don't know."
	"I thought he'd be madder," Lance said with a sigh.
	"Me too," I replied. "I thought he'd 'hate' us again." I forced myself to smile. "Well, at least we all know about it now."
	"Well, it was about him. So he kind of had the right to know," Chris answered.
	"He better not become paranoid."
	"Why not?" Lance answered. "I would."
	"I'll be paranoid enough for all of us," Chris replied. "Unfortunately, Justin's the only one of us that knows what the two guys look like."
	"You saw one of them…" I objected. 
	Chris frowned. "No…"
	"Yeah," Lance assured. "You definitely did. Remember when we went to the museum for the day? and you and Just decided to skip everything and go to the food court?"
	"Yeah, but I didn't really get to see him," Chris answered. "I didn't think Justin was thinking straight so I really didn't pay attention."
	"Well, gee," I answered sarcastically. "That'll help now, won't it?"
	"Well, whattaya want me to do?" Chris replied. "Go back in time and take a picture?"
	"Yeah, and lock Justin in his room while you're at it," I persisted. 
	"Guys," Lance laughed, but had at the same time had a look on his face like he knew it was too serious to laugh about. "Come on."
	"Well, I wanna go to bed," I started. "So I'm going in there… I need my bed."
	"Oh, Joey, come on…" Chris objected. "Give them a couple more minutes."
	"There's nothing he could say in there that he couldn't say out here in front of us," I replied as I got up and started towards the bedroom. I knew that wasn't true. There was a world of stuff he could say… But I also wanted to see how they were doing.
	I gave one knock and walked in. They were both lying on my bed… Two beds in the room and they pick mine. I started to wonder in disappointment where they were going to sleep. There was the couch. And we could double up . . . The comfort of us all being together did outweigh the luxury of multiple hotel suites, but I still felt a little slighted. 
	"You guys…" I complained immediately. JC shot me a look that I shrugged off. "That's my bed…" I walked over and crossed my arms. 
	I watched Justin directly get up at the comment. "Sorry, I just needed to think," he said as he started towards the door. I felt a pang of regret when I saw the look on his face and shook my head. "Curly boy, I'm kidding… C'mon…"
	He walked out the door and I sighed. Now I was gonna get it from JC.
	"Man, what's your problem?" JC sighed as he sat up in bed. My bed. He rubbed his temples. "Can't you give him like five minutes?"
	"I'm really not thinking right now, actually," I replied as I walked over to take what had been Justin's spot on the bed. "Sorry. I didn't know he would take me seriously. And you guys did have five minutes. I was wondering how he was doing."
	"Joe…" He shook his head. "I can't believe you did that."
	I shrugged and was silent for a moment, not able to formulate any feasible excuse. "Okay, JC, I'm sorry… I'll talk to him later, alright? How is he anyway?"
	He shrugged. "Now I don't know…"
	Okay, I did not need this. A guilt trip about interrupting some heart to heart… I knew they hadn't even been talking when I walked in, and I wasn't going to give into that. So I didn't answer. 
	"Joe, I'm sorry…"
	Gee, a minute of brooding silence can do wonders…
	"You know how I get," he persisted. 
	"Sure do," I answered.
	He smiled slightly. "It's just that I don't know what to say… To reassure him…"
	"But he knows now," I comforted. "So ninety-five percent of your worries are gone, right?"
	"No, because now I have more," he sighed. 
	I paused. "Well, I'm in the same position as you, really… I haven't got the slightest clue what to say to reassure you…"
	"Well, I was hopeful." He chuckled. 
	"We'll just take this one step at a time. Justin seems good. I think we all had some different expectations, but he seems good." I hesitated. "Right?"
	"I don't know what to think…" 
	"Then don't think. What'd you observe?"
	"That he's too shocked and tired to react right now," JC answered.
	"Oh." I frowned. "Does that mean he hasn't reacted yet?"
	"I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I have no idea." 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	In the same minute that Joey left, Justin appeared. He came into the room and looked so hesitant. Like he was deciding where to go and then realizing that he had to stay in this room. 
	"Justin…" I called. "C'mere…" I glanced at Lance but he just had a blank look. Like he didn't want to get into a big dramatic conversation about any of this. Lance was always passive like that. 
	Justin walked over dutifully and sat down heavily in an armchair. He looked at me expectantly and I cleared my throat.
	"You tired?" I asked as I searched for words.
	He shook his head, leaning back into the chair. "No. Not really?"
	Okay… Um… 
	"Hungry?"
	Justin looked slightly amused. "Nope."
	"Thirsty?"
	He cracked a small grin. "No."
	I smiled. "Hyper?"
	He shook his head.
	"Happy?"
	Shook his head.
	"Sad?" I mocked a pout.
	"No," he answered.
	"Are you anything?" I joked.
	"Nope," he replied. "Nothing."
	"You can't be nothing," Lance objected.
	"I yam what I yam."
	I laughed. "Fine then, you're some other adjective I don't feel like guessing. You wanna go to the arcade with me, buddy boy?"
	He shook his head. "No. It's late . . ."
	I almost missed the flash of panic that in his eyes and inwardly sighed. He was gonna come with me. I was not about to have him get scared of going out. This wasn't going to happen again. We could be careful, we could figure out what to do, but we would not live in fear again. That was not going to be okay with me this time. "No, come on. I want to go and I need someone whose good competition," I objected. "Don't let me down, Curly…"
	"I really don't wanna go…" he protested. "I'm tired…"
	"You just said you weren't tired," I accused.
	"Well, I kind've am. I don't want to…" 
	"Chris," Lance disapproved. "If he's tired, he's tired..." 
	I sent him a quick look. I was determined. Standing, I gave Justin a hard look. "Come on, let's go. I'll buy you a drink or whatever you want."
	Justin just sat there and shook his head patiently. "No. Don't offer to buy me, Chris. You know I don't like that." 
	"There's nothing to be scared of," I told him persistently. "Dammit, Justin, get up."
	"No," he answered stubbornly. "I'm not going."
	"Isn't the arcade usually closed by this time anyway…?" Lance started as he glanced at his watch.
	"Thank you, Lance," I replied dryly as I resisted the urge to walk over and smack him. Instead I walked over to Justin and sat down on the arm of his chair ignoring the way he shifted to the other side of the cushion.  I nudged his shoulder. "What's the problem?" I stared at him.
	Justin studied the wall. "There's no problem… I just don't feel like going."
	"Why not?"
	"I'm tired. And all these hotel arcades are exactly the same," he answered. 
	"Have you been to this one?"
	"No," he admitted.
	"Then how can you say that? Let's check it out, okay?" I nudge him again. "Let's prove that wrong." 
	He shook his head, frowning at me. "Come on, Chris. No."  
	I tried to mask my aggravation as I rolled my eyes. "You gotta give me a  real reason. And I have to buy it."
	"Why?"
	"Because otherwise all I know is that my best pal doesn't want to hang out with me." I faked sniffling and stood up abruptly, turning my back on him. I smiled widely when I heard his laugh. 
	"Chris, you're stupid," Justin said with a sigh.
	"So you don't wanna hang out with me because I'm stupid?" I persisted.
	"Turn around, you goof. No, I just don't want to leave the room."
	"Why?" I turned and gave him a quizzical look. Of course I damn well knew why but I wanted him to admit it to me so I could convince him otherwise. Even if it was obviously true, I didn't want to accuse him of it. 
	"Man, why should I? You've never been this hung up on an arcade before."
	"It's not polite to answer a question with another question," I rebuked as I walked a couple feet towards him.
	"Then I guess I'm not polite," he replied.
	"You got that right," I answered. "So, I'm going to go downstairs, see what I find, and just mess around. You're telling me you don't have any interest in coming with me?"
	He paused, looking hard at me, and then blinked and shrugged. "I just don't feel like it."
	"Okay," I sighed with a disappointed shrug. "I gotta respect that." I started walking, testing to see if he'd follow. "I'll see you later then." 
 :-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	Damn arcade. Why'd he want me to go with him anyway? I watched him finally accept the answer 'no' without an explanation. Chris rarely accepted no that easily. But usually he insisted on things a bit more important than arcades. I watched him start for the door. A wave of panic swept over me as I jumped to my feet.
	"Where are you going?" I asked in alarm.
	"What do you mean?" Chris turned back to me with a confused expression. "I just told you. I'm going to the arcade by my lonesome self."
	I shook my head. "You can't." I started walking towards him.
	He arched an eyebrow. "Why not?" 
	"Because—" I started to reply as flashes of six months ago surfaced in my mind. All these memories that I'd finally gotten rid of… It wasn't just me… I remembered that woman asking me which one of my best friends was expendable. It wasn't about just me… It could be about any of them. "You can't go…" I managed. 
	"Justin...." He stared at me strongly like he was expecting a specific answer.
	I swallowed. "Fine. Go. Bring Lonnie?"
	Chris's expression softened and he stepped away from the door. "Justin, I know why you don't want to go, but you have to be realistic… You're scared, right?"
	I shifted my weight as I stood. "Yeah," I admitted. 
	"Where's that going to get you?" he challenged.
	"I don't know, but not six feet under," I replied. What the heck was he trying to get at? Was he going to say that I didn't have to be careful? That I didn't have to care that I was getting notes threatening my life? Was he going to tell me that it was perfectly safe to march straight out into the world without thinking twice? Because I wasn't gonna buy it. I had been here before.
	"Justin, do you remember last time?" 
	I looked at Chris angrily. "Of course I do."
	"You remember everything?" he persisted. 
	"Yes." I frowned when my voice trembled. I recalled just admitting to JC that I couldn't remember what the guys looked like, but insisted. "I remember better than you would."
	"True, maybe," he answered. "But not from our point of view. Right, Lance?"
	I'd almost forgotten Lance was in the room; he'd been so quiet. I glanced behind me at him in time to catch him shooting Chris a look of death.
	"I'm not getting involved in this conversation," he replied. "You guys go ahead."
	I looked back at Chris, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean, not from your point of view?"
	"I mean, that we saw what it did to you," he answered stiffly. "How you acted. Do you remember that part of it? How you were?"
	"I'm guessing a major pain in the ass, huh?" I crossed my arms.
	A look of regret flooded Chris's features. "No, Justin… Never, Curly. I'm talking about the effects that the stress had on you. You can't let your fear control you. You can't sit indoors all day waiting for progress. Things don't work that way."
	"I know that," I replied defensively. "I'm not the huge idiot you make me out to be, you know."
	"Justin, you're not an idiot. That's Joey's job, remember?"
	I smiled involuntarily and then sobered quickly to keep my argument. "Chris, I don’t plan on sitting around all day waiting for progress or being scared not to go anywhere."
	"Then what's this?" He gestured around him to make a point.
	"It's a room."
	He cracked a smile. "C'mere you… Such a smartass…"
	I rolled my eyes, but even joking around didn't make me feel any better. "It's late, Chris. And you guys just told me about this. I don't feel like taking any risks. I mean, JC wanted us all to sleep in the same suite for a reason."
	"JC thought it would make you feel better. There are no risks," he persisted. "Lonnie'll come."
	"He'll be mad that you woke him up to play a game," I answered. "Trust me, I know…"
	"Then, like I said, I'll go alone…"
	I walked towards him and shook my head. "You can't, Chris, really," I pleaded. "I don't think you understand."
	"I don't think so either," he answered. 
	I gripped his sleeve. "Just don't, Chris… Okay?" 
	"Why are you so against me going?" Chris frowned. I didn't answer and he shook his head. "OK, I won't. I swear."
	I sighed and let go of his sleeve. I reached around him and put the lock across the door. He just shook his head and walked back toward the couch. I thought I heard him mutter "This again" but I ignored it. 
	Joey and JC emerged from the bedroom. "Where are you going?" JC asked as he noticed me by the door.
	"Nowhere…" I replied slowly. I stepped away from the door and started to walk towards the couch. "Just making sure it's locked."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	What a day. I was exhausted and therefore really relieved when everyone decided that it might be smart for us all to get some sleep that night. Gee, did they think so? I had to roll my eyes when after about an hour of aimlessly watching TV and talking on and off, Joey went 'hm… it's kinda late'. 
	Since it was Joey and my room, we luckily got claim to our own beds. Chris got the couch and JC got the recliner. Joey and I offered to double up with Justin but he decided to sleep on the floor by Chris and JC.
	"The floor, Justin?" Joey asked. "Really?"
	"Whatever." Justin shrugged as he threw a few blankets on the ground. 
	So we were all set and I had cleared my mind of all the atrocities of the day. Just when I was about to fall into a relaxed sleep, there was a bang at the foot of my bed and a grunt.
	I sat up abruptly, feeling my pulse start to race as I squinted in the darkness to make out the dark figure that had just crashed into the foot of my bed. It crawled onto the bed and started up towards me, stumbling slightly.
	I finally could make out the curly hair and groaned. "Justin…" I kicked him hard. "What the heck are you doing?" I whispered harshly. "Get away from me…"
	"I wanna talk," he answered softly. 
	"You're gonna wake Joey up," I warned. "You want that?" I sighed as he settled in front of me. "Huh?"
	"No," he replied. "I just wanna talk."
	"So you said." I looked at him for a minute, and deciding that he wasn't going to be easy to get rid of, I started to get out of bed, pulling him with me by the arm. "Be quiet…"
	"You be quiet," he replied. 
	Joey rolled over with a loud moan and we both froze. After a few seconds' pause we darted for the door. I tried to decide where we could go. Chris and JC were in the other room so if we stayed around there they would hear us. I did not feel like waking everyone up all over again. 
	"Balcony?" Justin suggested.
	"Sure," I whispered. 
	We carefully made our way across the room in the dark, hearing sounds of creaking, snoring, and whatnot. Justin slid the door open and let me out first, before slipping out after me and shutting it. 
	I inhaled the cool air of the night as I looked out at the night sky at all the crystalline stars and lights of buildings. How serene and peaceful… Too bad it was the middle of the night and I couldn't enjoy it.
	"I was sitting out here before," Justin started in a slightly louder tone than before, but still soft. "And thinking… Isn't it nice?"
	"Yeah," I agreed.
	"And I was thinking about everything and worrying like I usually do, all because I couldn't sleep. I wanted to sleep out here so Chris wouldn't step on me in the morning and I wouldn't have to listen to snoring, but I kept hearing things…" he continued. 
	"Like what?" I frowned. The only noises I could hear were our own voices. And between our exchanges was utter silence. Not even a car. 
	"Just things," he replied. "Probably imagined or whatever. But then I figured I should talk to you until I fell asleep."
	"So are you implying that my conversations with you make you sleepy?" I accused as I took a seat in a plastic chair that was out there. Justin did likewise.
	"No," Justin objected. 
	"What do you want to talk about?"
	"Tell me a story…" 
	I gave him a look and he cracked up.
	"I'm just kidding!" he exclaimed. "Scared you, huh? I wanted to talk about earlier."
	I nodded. "Okay…" I leaned back. "I'm tired, so sorry if I don’t do much talking…"
	"Sorry, I woke you up." He grimaced. "I do that a lot I guess, I forgot…"
	"You forgot about my well-being, alright." I smiled. 
	"But I want you to do the talking, you see…" he started again. "I wanted to know what everyone's thinking."
	"I'm not a psychic." I tore my eyes away from the nice night sky to meet Justin's eyes. They were dark and full of confusion and worry.
	"I know you're not," he answered as if he were assuring me of the fact. "But I saw you watching me and Chris today when we were talking so I figured you could tell me what you think everyone's thinking, you know?"
	"I know, but I’m not sure I can," I replied with a wry smile. "I wasn't really trying to read all you guys' expressions, you know?"
	"Try?" he pleaded as he stood and pushed his chair closer to mine. 
	"Okay…" I agreed with a sigh. I glanced to see the huge smile that appeared on his lips, just like it always did whenever he got what he wanted. 
	"I mean, I don't know what to make of any of this," he persisted. "I don't know whether it's a big deal, or whether it's nothing, or whether it's everything all over again." 
	"None of us know." I had to be honest. 
	"Well, tell me what you do know. All of you. But start with you," he persisted.
	"Me?" I answered in surprised.
	"Yeah, you can't go wrong. You have to know what you're feeling…" He stared at me.
	"About this situation?"
	"Yeah."
	"Alright… But my main goal is to put you to sleep, am I right?" I joked.
	He laughed. "No… Not until you're done. I want to know this."
	I smiled and nodded. "Okay…" I put my feet up on the railing. "Well, what I'm feeling… I knew we had to tell you, and I'm glad you know. You had to. I mean, you have to know to be careful, even if there's nothing really to be careful about. But why risk it?" 
	I looked up to make sure that I wasn't freaking him out with that concept, but chances were that he had already considered that himself. And judging by his look I was right. He just had an intent look that showed he was listening. No worry or emotion. Just a good attentive audience look.  
	"So I knew you had to know," I continued. "I knew how we felt when you kept something like this from us—or from them at least—"
	"I'm sorry…" he interrupted quickly. "They know that, right?"
	"Of course." I gave him a look. "They'd never hold that against you. That's why we told you; we didn't want you to feel the way we had felt in the dark."
	"And 'cause I was being a pain?"
	I smiled. "Yeah, that had something to do with it too, I guess." 
	"So one of my tactics did work?"
	"No." I shook my head with a laugh. "Don’t go thinking that."
	"Okay, keep going," he insisted.
	"Alright, well I knew you had to know, but I was worried about how you would react. Whether you would be angry that we'd kept it from you. Whether the whole idea would have you upset, that everything was back. Or whatever. I was worried about that."
	"Did I react bad or good?" he asked.
	I shook my head. "That's the funny thing. You didn’t react. You kept the same expression the entire time and then just quietly left after saying something."
	Justin shrugged. "I didn't know what to think. I wasn’t expecting it," he murmured.
	"Of course not. You think any of us were? You remember what I was like when I read the first note in the fan-mail?" 
	He smiled broadly. "Oh sheeeet," he imitated playfully in the lowest voice he could do. 
	I rolled my eyes. "But wasn't I surprised?"
	"Yeah," he agreed with a nod. "What are you thinking now?"
	"Now?" I paused. "I'm thinking, 'he woke me up for this…?' Just kidding. Well, I'm just hopeful that things will work out and that you'll keep up that strong front."
	He shifted and studied the sky. "Joey."
	"Right now Joey's having a dream about a beautiful woman with him, probably at one of those all you can eat and drink restaurants." I watched Justin's smile as he turned to look at me again.
	"He's like the dog in the cartoons dreaming about a bone," Justin answered.
	"Exactly," I laughed. 
	"What was he thinking?"
	"Well, he didn't want to tell you," I replied.
	"Figures."
	I laughed. "He was just worried. He said he didn't want to see you paranoid or not wanting to go anywhere."
	Justin shrugged and looked a little irritable. "Well…"
	"Just, you can't get mad at the guys for how they feel, especially when it's a gut reaction," I warned. "Because none of it's a big deal, but I can just tell you're gonna take it personally."
	"No, I won't, I swear," Justin answered. "Go ahead. He didn't want to tell me because he was afraid I'd get paranoid."
	"Well, he was basically just basing it on last time. But he changed his mind, obviously, because it was a unanimous decision to tell you."
	"And now?"
	"I'm not really sure," I replied honestly. "He was just relieved that you weren't pissed at us and that you didn't do anything drastic."
	"I didn't do anything."
	"Exactly," I laughed. "I don't know what else to say about him."
	"That's good I guess. JC?"
	"He's freaking out about you," I answered with a smile.	
	Justin sighed. "When isn't he?"
	I laughed. "Well, he was just concerned about your safety and state of mind. He was between wanting to tell you because he wanted to keep your trust and have you aware, and then wanting to keep it from you because he didn't want you unnecessarily scared."
	Justin gave an annoyed/comforted look as he rolled his eyes. I could tell he loved this—knowing we were all thinking about him. It better not go to his head… I inwardly laughed.
	"And then he obviously decided to tell me," Justin assumed. "Now what?"
	"Still worrying. You know him. There's not too much I can say that you don't already know yourself. You talked to him."
	"Yeah, but he's not like 'Justin, this is how I'm feeling', so I have no idea. I don't know anymore. He's been scaring me."
	I frowned. "How?"
	"It was before I had any idea and I found the note on the bed ... Look, I cut my finger on it even." He shoved it in my face and laughed.
	"There's nothing wrong with it," I answered, swatting his hand away.
	"Well, it hurts."
	"It's psychological then. There's nothing there."
	"There is. It even bled. But anyway, I called to him from the bathroom. I was like 'what is it' or whatever. I mean, I had no clue. It was just a random piece of paper to me. So he didn't answer and when I went over to him he had this look on his face. I mean, I understand why now, but he wouldn't tell me anything and I didn't know what to do. I thought there was something wrong with him."
	"Don't worry about it." I shook my head. "Who do we have left… Chris? He wanted to tell you. That's why he called you out."
	Justin nodded. Then he took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and he wants me to go out with him and prove to him I ain't scared. What's he want me to do? I am."
	"Don't worry about that either," I assured. "I think he was just seeing whether you were or not."
	"And I am," he persisted. "I can't help it. What's he expect?"
	"It can't be like last time, man. You'd go out with all of us anywhere though, right?"
	"Depends where," he answered gently.
	"No, you see… don’t say that," I objected. "Justin, look at me. Get over that. There's nothing to be scared of. Just don't go anywhere alone. But it's fine when you're with us…"
	"That's what we think now, but in a couple of days—"
	"No, we're sticking with it. You're fine when you're with us. Okay? We have security for a reason. We have each other for a reason."
	"Okay…" he repeated softly.
	"Seriously. If you act like you're not fine with it, or you refuse to do stuff, then you're only going to disappoint JC and Joey and make them think that they shouldn't have told you," I persisted.
	"But don't they know that I can't help it?" he replied pitifully.
	"We'll see, okay? But just trust me that you're fine. You didn't want to sit out here alone but now you're with me out here and you're fine, right?"
	"Right." He nodded. "I was just imagining things though."
	"Either way." I studied him. "Tell me you're not gonna be paranoid."
	He hesitated. "I'll try."
	"That's not good enough."
	"Fine, I promise. But if I break my promise don't get pissed." I saw his eyes shine in the dark, like they were watering.
	"I won't," I answered gently. "Justin, I just wanna make sure you'll be okay."
	"I am."
	"Alright." I nodded with a sigh. "You talked enough?"
	He shook his head. "Keep talking."
	"About what?"
	"Anything."
	"Anything, anything?"
	"Yeah," he persisted. 
	"Okay…" I hesitated as I searched through my mind for a topic. I was so late and I was so tired and stressed… Ugh…
	After a moment of silence, as though sensing my struggle, he cleared his throat and spoke. "Actually, it's okay, you can go back to bed. I'm sorry for dragging you out. Thanks though."
	"You sure?" I was somewhat relieved actually...
	"Yeah, go ahead. I’m gonna just sit out here. I want to look at the sky more."
	I stood up slowly, sensing his need to be alone and acquiescing. "Don't fall asleep out here.... Or if you do, make sure JC and Chris know you're here in the morning or they'll freak out, okay?"
	He nodded. "Yep."
	"Good night, Curly." 
	His eyes never left the night sky. "Night, Poofu. Thanks." 
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-: 
	I didn't sleep too well. I thought I would. I mean, I was utterly exhausted. But for some reason I just couldn't fall asleep. 
	Some reason? Stress was the damn reason. Not even stress. Just worrying. Planning. Thinking about the other guys. Stuff like that. 
	Ugh… I wished I could let someone else take care of it… But who? I was basically in charge of this group. That seemed like an overconfident thing to say, but I knew it was true. They were relying on me. Justin relied on me. For Chris and Joey, a joke or a good time would come before taking care of the group. They would protect when they could, but it was different. Lance… He helped. Somewhat like a sidekick, he could always take charge when I was too pissed or tired. It was mostly me keeping the peanut gallery together.
	I wanted to keep charge, keep everyone level and together. I always had. So what was different now? Even though I hadn't the slightest clue how to go about fixing any of this… I would try. That was good enough, right? And Justin didn't have to know that I had no clue…
	Deciding that I couldn't sleep any more, and being satisfied that it was six o'clock and not the middle of the night, I decided to get out of bed. Or, rather, get out of the chair. It was a pretty comfortable chair actually… even though I felt like I hadn't slept. 
	Chris was still asleep on the couch, one arm dangling down to barely touch the floor and another thrown lazily across his chest. His mouth was parted slightly as he breathed and I laughed at his comical expression. 
	I walked into the kitchen tiredly and went to flip on the light as I brushed the sleepiness out of my eyes, but noticed it was already on. Confused, I looked up and noticed Justin sitting at the table with a magazine and a glass of what looked like soda. His chin rested propped up on his fist and his eyes were lowered so I couldn't tell whether he was sleeping. It looked like it…
	I started to walk over and immediately his eyes went up and met mine. I guess not…
	"Can we go get food from our room?" he asked. 
	"What are you doing up?" I answered as I went around to sit next to him. "Kinda early for you, huh?"
	"I'm boring myself to death," he replied as he waved the magazine in my face. I noticed it was Time and smirked. His brow furrowed. "This is the only thing they have to read. And didn't you notice I was up?"
	I frowned. "Should I have?"
	"Well, I was supposedly sleeping on the floor right in front of your chair. You didn’t notice I wasn't there?"
	"Honestly, no." I laughed at his hurt expression. "Now I don't care?" I mock pouted to imitate him. "Poor Justy-Wusty…"
	"Shut up. I was outside the whole night anyway. Want to go get food from our room?" he repeated his initial request. 
	"Outside where?"
	"Outer space."
	"The balcony?" I ignored his 'humor'. I was satisfied enough that he was up and not in a bad mood despite the lack of food. I reached over and picked up the magazine, eyeing the cover wearily.
	"I'm a space cowboy, JC… Yippie-Yi-Yay."
	I rolled up his magazine and whacked him on the head. "You're in a weird mood, huh? Don't they have any food in here…?"
	"This is Joey's room remember."
	"So there should be lots of food." I smirked.
	"He ate it all and I just finished the last of the beer."
	I whacked him again. "You did not. You know, we can get room service."
	"They never have good cereal." 
	"Fine. OK, let's check what's in our room."
	"Let's bring Chris too," he answered as he slid his chair back and jogged out of the kitchen before I could ever respond. I heard a loud yell from the other room and groaned.
	I grabbed my room key off the counter.
	"AGH!"
	Chris. Poor Chris.
	I strode into the other room and around the couch to see Chris and Justin at it. When weren't they at it? This was seemingly part two of their contest from the bus. I sat down on the couch tiredly. 
	"Guys, guys, guys…." I started. At no answer I reached out with my foot to poke at them. Justin was on top and he glared at me when I got him in the ribs but quickly resumed his fight.
	"I guess Justin doesn't want breakfast anymore," I said nonchalantly. 
	"What?" he cried. 
	Chris flipped him over and started tickling him. He grabbed a couch cushion and put it over him, crushing him beneath it when he sat down.
	"This is the worst way to be woken up," Chris told me with a sigh.
	I laughed. "I bet."
	"You mean you like getting water poured on you better?" Justin said, voice garbled from under the cushions.
	To Justin, he laughed. "Yes, nothing like a refreshing bath." Quickly and quietly to me, he said, "He seems okay, huh?"
	I shrugged and gave an unsure nod. "Yeah." I stood. "Get off of him. He just wants you to come with us to get stuff out of our room to eat."
	Chris got up and let him go. He replaced the couch cushion. "Why didn't you just say so, Curly?"
	Justin grinned and got up as he brushed himself off. "Because this is so much more fun. I won, by the way."
	"How the hell did you win? Did you miss that position you were just in? You were locked down, man. Don't even try."
	"Ha!" Justin scoffed. "You forfeited! You got up! And don't say because JC told you to."
	"Was I supposed to sit on you for eternity?" Chris retorted. "You couldn't get up."
	"I was planning a surprise attack."
	"Sure you were."
	"Children…" I started in a taunting tone. "Playtime is over. No sandbox for either of you…"
	"Oh, damn." Chris rolled his eyes. "My day is ruined. How 'bout yours, Curls?"
	"Yep." Justin pretended to sniffle. "Destroyed. Now I have no reason to live."
	I laughed at their antics. "Do you wanna eat or not?" I started for the door and they followed, snickering. 
	"If you wanna eat, come and take a ride… Take a space ride with the JC, baby, if you wanna eat come and take a ride..." Justin sang. 
	"You are so weird," I answered, giving him a questioning look as we left the room. Why he butchered our music for his own amusement I would never know. Chris was laughing at him. Weird but good, I guess… He was willing to leave the room and go back to the other one. I don't know whether that should be surprising or not, but I was  little bit bewildered at that. Pleasantly though…
	"It's stuck in my head. You gotta key…?" Justin asked as we approached the door. 
	"No…" I answered. "Don't you?" 
	He stared at me.
	"You didn't take your key with you? Mine's in there!" I replied, motioning to the other room. 
	"JC…" he started in a worried tone. "I almost never take my key. You know that…"
	"Of course I have a key," I replied with a grin. "I'm not a retard." I watched his face relax. "You scared you'd never see your clothes again?"
	He rolled his eyes. "Right."
	"Well, guys, I don't have a key to the room we came from and I know you two don't either," Chris started. "And Lance and Joey are sleeping…"
	"No!" Justin wailed. "You're kidding too, right?"
	"Nope."
	"They'll wake up when we knock," I assured him. "Or else we'll call 'em." 
	"Okay. Just hurry and open the door," he persisted as he hovered near the lock and pointed at it insistently.
	I slid the key in and opened the door. Justin went directly for the kitchen, but I made my way over to the beds and started to look around. 
	"Just, you want us to get your stuff together?" I called as I looked up for a minute. "I'm getting mine."
	"We getting another room?" he replied as he walked into the room I was in with a couple boxes of cereal in hand. 
	"Do you wanna stay here?" I answered. "I didn't know if you—if we'd be comfortable, you know?"
	"I wanted to stay with the guys…" he replied. "Like last night…"
	"Don’t you feel crowded?" I frowned.
	"No." He shook his head. "Can't we do that again?"
	"There's my room too…" Chris started. "If you wanna stay there with me. But I've been crashing at Joe and Lance's lately."
	"We'll all stay with them, can't we?" Justin persisted. "I want that. It's like old times."
	"But you're on the floor…" I objected.
	"It doesn't matter. I can sleep with Joey or Lance then," he answered relentlessly. "Don't you like that recliner thing?"
	"It was pretty comfortable…" I admitted. I could tell he wanted all of us together but I didn't know if that was a good door. He'd feel safer maybe, but the rest of us would probably kill each other. Five guys, two beds? It was like back to our first days together.
	"And I don't mind being crowded," he repeated. "Chris sleeps in there anyway, so…"
	"We gotta ask Joey and Lance if they'd mind…" Chris replied.
	He was going to say yes? I glanced at him.  shrugged. I guess it could work…
	"Fine…" I gave in reluctantly. "But don’t complain about there being no space. It was your idea."
	"Duh," Justin answered as he walked over and dropped the cereal box on the bed. "I'll get my stuff."
	I watched him for a moment as he grabbed his bag and dragged it a bit, then lifted it onto the bed. I noticed a piece of paper left behind and quickly walked over to grab it. Disgusted, I crumpled it up without even reading it. None of us needed to hear the threats again.
	I felt Justin's eyes on me so pretended like I was picking up his scattered clothes. He walked over and grabbed them from me irritably.
	"Get your own stuff, I'm not an invalid…" he muttered. 
	"Just trying to help," I replied as I cleared my throat and walked away, stuffing the paper in my pocket as I went. I grabbed my own bag.
	"JC…" Chris started.
	I looked up at him. "What?" 
	He didn't answer but he didn't have to. I could tell by his look. I sighed and just stared. "It's so unnecessary…" I whispered.
	"JC…" he persisted.
	I shook my head stubbornly and gathered my stuff. Justin had already finished and was sitting on his bed patiently. After all, we'd barely unpacked, of course it didn't take long to put it all together.
	"Should I call Joey and Lance?" he asked.
	"Yeah. Wake 'em up," Chris replied with a laugh. He got up. "Wanna scare them?"
	Justin smiled and nodded. "Yeah." He picked up the phone.
	"You're asking for trouble," I replied. "They'll do it back."
	"Here…" Chris took the phone. "Dial."
	I rolled my eyes. Glad to know I'm influential.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	The phone rang. It took a moment for me to hear it. And when I did I felt paralyzed by fatigue.
	"Lance, get it!" I bellowed.
	Who could possibly be calling at this ungodly hour? What time was it anyway… I forced my eyes open and rolled onto my side in bed, squinting at the clock. A quarter to seven.
	A goddamn quarter to seven. Six forty-five. Who the hell was calling? If it were some psycho calling for Justin, I was gonna scream my head off at them and hang up. Hell, even if it were my mother I just might. No one had the right to call.
	It rang again. And then again.
	"Lance!" I yelled. I glanced at the bed next to me and glared at the lifeless lump of blankets lying there that made up my good friend. Was he deaf? "Lansten, get your ass up and answer the phone!" 
	He ignored me, emitting nothing other than a whimper to show he was alive, and I growled loudly, reaching towards the table between our beds to fumble for the phone. I found the cursed piece of plastic and took the receiver grouchily.
	"What the hell do you want?" I answered it in a low voice.
	There was a pause and then a hesitant, "What's your favorite scary movie?" 
	"The Slicing and Dicing of Chris Kirkpatrick," I answered snappily. "Do you know what time it is?"
	There was an evident sigh and a muttered 'Joey's no fun' before a clearing of the throat, and a, "I'm in the hotel… Do you know where I am?"
	"In the other room probably. I'm coming to kick your ass, you bastard," I answered. "Hang up the phone and come find me. I'm killing you. Do you know what time it is?"
	"Just let us in when we knock," he answered.
	"Where are you, Chris?" I replied with a frown.
	He gave an 'evil' laugh. It was forced, and pathetic.
	"Not funny," I sighed. 
	"Getting JC and Justin's crap—I mean, stuff. Ouch, Curly…"
	I smiled despite myself. "K, I'll let you in. I'm killing you though."
	"Fine, fine… Bye."
	"Buh-bye." I hung up the phone with a disturbed sigh and glanced at the other bed. Sliding out of my own, I started, "Oh, Lancie…" 
	No answer.
	How rude. 
	I inched my way over carefully to Lance's bed and grabbed the edge of his sheets. "This is your last chance to say something, man…" I warned.
	No answer. 
	Sighing, I shook my head. "You leave me no choice." I chuckled as I clutched the blankets tighter and gave a mighty pull. Lance came flying off the bed with his bedding in a heap and a cry. 
	"Joey!" he yelled from under the sea of sheets.
	Laughing hysterically, I ran out. "I've got the shower." 
:-:-:-:-:
	Lance was a bit mad at me, even two hours later. Apparently he hadn't slept well the night before and my decision to abruptly wake him up was unwelcomed. How was I supposed to know? Sheesh… You have to forewarn a guy about stuff like this.
	But I knew it wouldn't last so I wasn't worried. Lance was just a bit cranky. Everyone was in a weird mood actually. I noticed that while we were waiting for lunch. Some of our guards had been nice enough to offer to get us McDonald's so we were patiently waiting. But like I said, everyone was in a weird mood. I mean, JC was really jumpy and tense, Justin was trying to make everything funny, and Chris… Well, Chris was always in a weird mood.
	JC… Jumpy and tense wasn't too bad considering the circumstances. It was kinda expected that he would act like this. He always felt this sense of responsibility, or control, so of course he was nervous about everything. We were all nervous. We just all handled it in a different way.
	Take Justin for example. Like I mentioned, he was trying to make everything funny. And I mean everything. He wasn't doing too badly either. I laughed at about every other thing he said, which was pretty good. You could tell it was nervous energy though. JC kept asking him why he was in such a weird mood. Apparently he'd been like this all morning. I located him out of the corner of my eye from flipping channels on the TV and noticed he was on the ground looking through his bag.
	"Whatcha doing, Justin?" I asked curiously. 
	"Looking," he murmured, head ducked as he sifted through his stuff. 
	"Thanks for being so descriptive."
	"No prob...."
	"Hey, Justin, why don’t you tell Lance and Joe what you wanna do?" JC started. 
	Well, I just started the ball of conversations rolling, didn't I? Always the trendsetter. I was wondering how long we could stay silent, sitting in front of the television waiting for food like this. What'd he want, anyway? 
	"What's that?" Justin replied, sounding detached from the conversation.
	Mustn't be important if he didn't even know what he wanted. 
	"Oh, are these the rooming arrangements?" Chris spoke up.  
	"Oh, that," Justin answered. 
	"That…" Lance mimicked. "What's that…?"
	Justin turned his bag upside down, clothes, CD cases, and whatnot falling into a messy pile. 
	"What are you looking for?" Chris asked.
	"What rooming arrangements?" I asked.
	"That we'd all stay here," Justin replied. "That's okay, right?"
	"Here as in this hotel, or here as in this room?" Lance replied.
	"Both…" Justin replied. 
	"Hell no," I replied. "Stay with Chris. We didn't pay for three rooms to cramp ourselves into one."
	"What difference does it make to you, though?" he persisted. "You have your own bed."
	"And you have the floor? Why sleep on the floor when there are four empty beds in our other rooms?" Was he crazy?
	"Because I'd rather know where everybody is and I don't sleep anyway…" he replied.
	"You have to sleep," I answered. "That's why we'll get you a bed. You and JC can stay with Chris if you don’t want to stay in your own room."
	"I'm staying here…" he answered as he shifted around his stuff and started tossing clothes into a pile.
	"No. Justin, look at me." I waited for him to meet my eyes and then shook my head firmly. "No. You can't." 
	He didn't reply and went back to looking through his stuff.
	"Joey, why not?" JC asked.
	"Why? Because five guys, two beds? We tried it last night." I couldn't believe he was gonna argue this.
	"You slept fine last night, didn't you?"
	"Aside from being woken up by Chris demanding my favorite movie, yeah," I admitted.
	"Favorite scary movie," Chris corrected.
	"Whatever," I answered. "Either way, I don't know why you guys wanna sleep on the couch and floor when you're paying for other beds…"
	Justin got up and kicked his bag, clothing, and various belongings into a now dispersed pile and walked over to sit on the couch beside JC and me with a 'Hmph'. I thought he was mad at me and rolled my eyes, but then he muttered,
	"Can't find it, gonna kill me…"
	"Can't find what?" JC asked.
	"My mom's number," Justin replied.
	"You forgot your home phone number?" Chris cracked up laughing.
	"No, dumbass," Justin retorted. "She's on vacation."
	"Watch it." I elbowed him .
	"I can't find the hotel number," he persisted.
	"Where was it?" JC asked.
	"On a little piece of paper," he persisted. "I'm supposed to call and I wanted to tell her what's going on anyway, and now I won't be able to even talk to her until she gets back…" he rambled brokenly. "I told her I'd call." 
	"A little piece of paper…" JC repeated. He sounded somewhat surprised. What the hell was so surprising about Justin writing his mom's hotel number on a little piece of paper? Everyone was weird today. 
	"Yeah, JC. A. Little. Piece. Of. Paper." Justin stared at him irritably. "Don't echo me."
	There was heavy knocking at the door and JC snapped out of his daze. "Just, that's Lonnie. Go get the door."
	"Um, no…" Justin stared.
	"Um, yeah. Go. It's our food."
	Justin mumbled to himself and got up. JC stood up quickly and took something out of his pocket, a crumpled piece of paper. What the hell?
	I watched in amusement as JC dropped the paper by Justin's clothes and quickly shot back to sit back down. Justin hadn't even reached the door yet. 
	"What was that?" Lance said with a slight laugh. 
	JC sent him a sharp look. "Nothing," he whispered. "Sh…"
	Justin looked through the peephole of the door, hand lingering on the knob, and then opened the door just so it was ajar, keeping the chain lock on it.
	"We don't want any," he said, shutting the door again. 
	"Don't play around―  I'm hungry!" I exclaimed. "Let them in!"
	Justin opened the door again after letting knocking persist for a few seconds. Then he quickly opened the door just slightly and ran towards the couch, jumping into a seat and grabbing a magazine. 
	When Lonnie and Mike walked in with two huge bags of McDonald's, Justin exclaimed, "Chris, how could you joke around like that? Look, they're mad now."
	"Chris my ass!" Chris exclaimed with a look of horror.
	"I know it was you," Lonnie said as he looked pointedly at Justin. "Too bad I left your happy meal in the car." He set his bag next to Mike's on the table. 
	"Ha, ha." Justin rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Lonnie."
	"Don't you want your toy? It's in the car."
	"You can stop now."
	"I think you got the Barbie one. I thought you'd be excited since you don't have that one yet."
	"Stop!" 
	"Hey, Just, what's that?" JC interrupted, pointing over to his bag and clothes where he'd positioned the note. "That looks like it might be it."
	"Might be what?" Mike asked. 
	"He was looking for a number," Chris answered. 
	"Well, we gotta bring our food back to our guys because they're hungry, too," Lonnie started.
	"Thanks," JC said.
	"Yeah," I added. "Thanks a bunch. We were starving."
	"No prob. So we'll see you later. Don't go anywhere, alright? I think some people know you're here. I saw some girls in the lobby, so just you know...."
	"God forbid," Justin answered as he reached his bag and found the piece of paper that JC had pointed out to him.
	"Bye, kid," Lonnie laughed.
	"Bye, Lonnie." Justin watched them leave briefly. "And, yeah, Jayce, this is it." He lifted the piece of paper up.
	"Well, you must be relieved," JC answered.
	"How come it's all crumpled?" Justin asked as he walked back towards the couch. "And it was just lying there on top of my clothes and I didn't see it?"
	"You can clean up your junk now, Justin," I reminded. "Feel free. Any time."
	"I will. JC…?" Justin persisted.
	Chris took one of the bags and started opening it. "Okay, what'd people order?"
	Justin sighed and sat. He tossed the paper on the table after smoothing it out and watched Chris hand out the food. 
	I'd have to ask JC about that later…
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	I had to talk to JC and was lucky enough to catch him while Joey and Chris dragged Justin to the arcade downstairs after lunch. I don't know why they kept dragging that poor kid to the arcade. Sure he liked those games, but it was becoming the typical excuse for something to do.
	"Two things…" I started, sitting down adjacent to the couch on a chair.
	He stared at me quizzically for a moment as he paused from crumpling the empty McDonald's bags lying on the table. "Just two?" He smiled wryly.
	I returned the smile. "Yep. You're fortunate." 
	"Okay, so what's the first one?" He leaned back and put his feet up on the table. "I wanna catch up with the guys downstairs, so not to rush you, but…"
	"No, they're short," I assured. "First, the missing number that happened to be in your pocket?" 
	JC sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. His look was somewhat sheepish. "I thought you might ask about that... Well, that's pretty obvious, isn't it?" His brow furrowed. "Freaking paranoia."
	I frowned. "I still don't understand how you had it and all..."
	"Well, I went to our room to get us some breakfast and bring our stuff back and when J lifts up his bag, I see this paper fall out." He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "So of course, my first thoughts are, 'oh shit, not again'. He doesn't need this."
	"So you took it?"
	"Yeah."
	"Without him seeing it?"
	"Yeah." He nodded. "Hell, without me seeing it. I didn't even read it. I didn't want to. I just figured... It looked the same. God, I'm so messed up right now."
	"JC, don't say that. We're all feeling a little cautious, okay?"
	"No, it's not okay. For any of us. How do we function like that? How do we put on a show with that on our minds?" he persisted.
	"We really don't have to worry..." I consoled tiredly. "We all know this time. Justin's not going to be alone. Security knows. Nothing can happen."
	JC stared at me with a small smile, a clever spark in his eyes. "Now, are you saying that because you know it's true, or you just want me to stop thinking about it?"
	"Both," I admitted with a laugh.
	"Well..." He feigned astonishment. "In that case."
	"You know, I talked to Justin last night..." I started.
	JC frowned. "You did? When?"
	"He couldn't sleep, kind of understandble. He came into my room and we talked out there." I pointed to the balcony.
	"What'd you talk about?" JC leaned forward, face full of question. 
	I shook my head. "I don't know. Just in general what's going on and.... I just... This leads to my second thing... Sharing a room..."
	JC nodded, waiting.
	"Well, this might sound sort of selfish..." I couldn't believe I was actually going to say this. Do this. 
	"What?"
	"See, JC, with this stuff, he seeks me out to help him. No matter what. No matter what I'm doing, no matter what time it is... It's like last time. It was a right time, right place, that I became that person, but... It's starting again."
	JC frowned. "Well, do you want me to talk to him about it? He bugging you?"
	"No!" I shook my head.  "I don't mean it like that." 
	JC rolled his eyes. "Sure." He smirked. "I can tell he is. I know where you're coming from though, getting woken up in the middle of the night to play psychiatrist isn't fun."
	"No, it's not." I smiled wryly. 
	"I'll straighten him out. Don't worry about it, okay?"
	"No, don't." I shook my head. "That's not what I meant. I'm not asking you to do that. I don't mind talking to him at all. Hell, I want to. But just not in the middle of the night. But if we're all in the same room, it gives him access to me 24/7... you know?"
	"Oh, I see."
	I watched JC carefully. Did he think I was being selfish? I didn't want to push Justin away. I just didn't want this all over again. And if we were in the same room again, it would happen. He would rely on me to keep all his thoughts a secret. I didn't want to be in that position. Sure I wanted to help him, but there was a time and a place...
	"I don't know what to say..." JC started. "I know what you're saying... it's just..."
	"I'm being selfish, aren't I?" I frowned. "Pushing him away?"
	"No. You're not being selfish at all. Not at all. And this wouldn't push him away, Scoop. Only me or you telling him what you're feeling would push him away," he answered. "Involuntarily of course, but still..."
	"Yeah," I agreed. "I don't mind talking to him. It's just that I didn't get much sleep last night as a result and I can see this recurring... like last time..."
	JC nodded. "Well, if you can convince him to get his stuff out of here, go ahead."
	"That bad, huh?" I frowned.
	"If you wanna carry him out, that might work," JC persisted with a laugh. "Might take a few of us. He's not going to go without a fight. Didn't you hear him with Joey?"
	I smiled wryly. "Yeah." 
	"You're a good talker. Maybe you can convince him." JC shrugged. "You never know."
	"What's the big deal about staying even you and him with Chris?" I replied. "That's three."
	"Then I guess he's scared about you and Joey," JC answered. "Don't ask me why. He feels better if all five of us are here."
	"Cramped and complaining?"
	"Beggars can't be choosers," JC answered with a smile. 
	"And I bet you prefer it too, huh, Mr. Paranoia?" I teased.
	He sobered. "I guess... As long as Justin's in sight I don't really think it's necessary to have all of us together... I think he's more of the concern."
	I nodded. "Yeah." 
	JC sighed and started to stand. "Wanna go catch up with the guys?"
	I relented and nodded. "Sure. Let's go."
	I didn't really know what to think as we left the room and started downstairs towards the arcade. Had anything been resolved by that conversation?? I wasn't sure... I wasn't even sure what resolution would be. Everything paled in comparison to the big picture at hand. 
	So was I supposed to talk to Justin? Is that what had been said? I guess so... What should I say though? 'Look... Joey and I don't want you in here, so, yeah, leave'. I couldn't be blunt like that. I didn't even know if I could do it. 
	I guess we'd see...
	Maybe I should go with majority rule. Let's see. Joey ain't for it. I ain't for it. Chris doesn't care. JC sorta wants it. Justin obviously wants it. So it's sorta 3:2 in favor of them staying... 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	The day went by and I'd convinced myself that now that we were all on the same page, there would be no drama, no hard feelings, and no danger. But not quite. 
	I couldn't believe this was happening. Couldn't believe it. This was really going way too far… 
	"You can't go…" Justin objected as he got up from the couch.
	Joey and I exchanged a look as we stood just several feet from the door. Joey's expression was exasperated and I was pretty sure I looked the same. We were somewhat annoyed but more frustrated at this point. 
	"It's eight o'clock," I started. "We just wanna be like normal people and go clubbing, Curly. What's the big deal?"
	Justin shook his head. "The big deal is that..." he broke off. "You can't go."
	"Says you? Give me a reason," Joey demanded. 
	"Because you love me?" Justin gave an endearing smile hopefully. 
	Joey rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. Chris, come on. Let's go."
	Justin jumped forward instantly and grabbed Joey's arm. "No… Don't…" 
	Joey pulled. "Stop it, Justin."
	"Please…" Justin begged. 
	"Stop," Joey said firmer. He detached himself and reached for the doorknob, but Justin dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around Joey's legs, forcing him to standstill. "Jesus…" Joey muttered. "How old are you?"
	"Justin," I laughed. "Come on. You're making such a big deal. Don't be ridiculous." I was watching Joey's face. I knew he was getting pissed off; he'd wanted to get to the club ASAP. Just ten minutes ago he'd been begging me to go, saying he needed some action.
	"Are you taking anyone with you?" Justin asked. "Mike?"
	"No," Joey answered, trying to shake him off his leg. "We're not."
	"Please..." Justin persisted.
	"Justin, get off of him," I objected, walking over and nudging his shoulder. "Don't be a baby."
	Justin sighed and let go of Joey's legs, but planted himself in front of the door. Joey looked at him for a moment, and then sighed. It wasn't clear what to do next. Justin was hard to budge. As much as he was acting like a child, he was certainly too big to move like a child without someone getting hurt in the struggle. Joey walked over to the couch and went to sit down. 
	"C'mere, Just," he requested, patting the empty cushion next to him on the couch.
	Justin stood up and turned to put the chain lock on the door before walking over to sit where Joey directed.
	"I just would rather," Justin began as he settled next to him, although defending himself, "that you all just stick around tonight." 
	"OK, now look, Just..." Joey started as he placed a hand on Justin's knee. "I need to get out of here. I need to go to a club. I need to relax or I'm going to explode. Understand that?"
	Justin nodded. 
	"Alright." Joey smiled weakly. "Now... The way you've been acting... I don't understand what's the matter. I mean, why won't you let us go out?"
	"Not safe," Justin answered softly. 
	"Not safe," Joey echoed. "What's not safe?"
	"If we bring security?" I suggested as I made my way over to sit in the chair impatiently. 
	"Why don't we rent a movie instead?" Justin suggested. "Together."
	"How about you come with us?" Joey slung an arm around his shoulders tightly. "You feel like dancing and meeting people tonight?"
	"Not really, actually..."
	"I think it'd do you some good."
	"I don't think so, Joey..."
	"C'mon. I'll even get you a couple drinks if you want..." Joey persisted. "Huh?"
	"No." Justin shook his head persistently, growing flustered. "You don't understand at all."
	"Obviously," Joey sighed in annoyance and slid his arm back. "I'm not letting any of this ruin my life. It's not going to stand in the way of anything I do. I don't think you understand that. Besides, the notes are for you. Not me. So even if they are real, I'm not the one who should be watching my back."
	Justin was silent.
	I stared at Joey intently, waiting for him to look at me so I could glare. How could he say something like that? How was that supposed to make Justin feel? I understood why Justin was so reluctant to let us go, so why couldn't Joey? And if he did know, why didn't he respect that? I was so close to staying home with Justin and letting Joey go out on his own, but I knew that would be even worse. 
	"Chris, you ready to go?" Joey asked as he stood up. He started for the door. 
	"Yeah, just a second," I replied with a sigh. I slipped over to take Joey's spot beside Justin and pulled him closer. "Look," I said softly. "We're going. Tell me you're okay with that. I have my cell phone so call me every five minutes if you want. It's fine, though, man. Seriously. Don't mind Joey. He needs to get laid and then he'll stop being an asshole. Okay?"
	Justin smiled slightly. "Don't stay long, alright? I mean, we don't know what's going on."
	"I'll know, and we won't be too late," I promised. "What are you, JC, and Lance gonna do?" 
	"I dunno."
	"You should go see a movie," I suggested. "Don't stay in or I'll kick your butt, okay?"
	Justin rolled his eyes. "We'll see."
	"K," I answered. "See you later."
	"Yep," Justin answered with a sigh. By his tone I could tell he wasn't okay with any of this. 
	"Just chill out, little bro," I persisted. "See you."
	I met Joey at the door and gave him the evil eye. He looked surprised but simply turned to slide the chain off the door and open it. Once it was shut behind us and we  started walking, I punched him hard in the shoulder.
	"Hey, what's the idea?" he objected as he stopped walking and turned to me. 
	"That's what I wanna know," I answered. "Why'd you say that to him?"
	"Say what? You wanted to go clubbing, didn't you?"
	"Of course I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. But you didn't have to tell him that he was ruining your life and that everyone's after him and not you so you don't have to care," I shot back.
	His eyes narrowed. "What? I did not say that."
	"Yeah you did. More or less."
	"Try less. I didn't say that. I just said that I wasn't going to sit around waiting for something to happen. And he shouldn't either."
	"Maybe you meant to say that," I replied.
	He sighed. "Chris, whatever."
	"He's upset now. Just remember that when you're out partying."
	"Oh, for God's sake, Chris..."
	"Just remember that."
	"Bullshit. He is not upset."
	"You hurt his feelings."
	"Well, he hurt mine. Trying to keep me from clubbing..."
	"Joey, just admit it. You messed up."
	"But I didn't!" he exclaimed. "If I had to repeat that scene again, I wouldn't say anything different. He's being a fucking child." 
	"Yeah, well I think you would feel differently if you could see a replay first," I insisted. "If you could step back from wanting to get out so bad and realize." 
	He rolled his eyes. "Well, what do you want me to do about it? Go back there and take him out with us? He won't come. What do you want?"
	"No. He won't come. But I mean, he was begging you. He was on the floor. And then you just get up and walk out."
	Joey sighed. "Okay, maybe I was wrong."
	"Yeah, maybe," I replied sarcastically. 
	"But he needs to grow up. I told you I'm not going to let him get paranoid," Joey persisted. "He's not going to sit around and wait for these notes and threats. None of us are. If something's going to happen, it's going to happen sooner or later. But this time we're protected and aware."
	"So it'll be later?" I answered.
	"We'll see."
	"Right," I agreed. "We'll see."
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I sat still for a couple minutes thinking to myself after Joey and Chris left. I wanted to run out after them and tell them that I changed my mind. That I really didn't think they should go. Of course, that wouldn't have helped much. I doubted it anyway. I don’t know why they couldn't understand.
	The image kept coming back to me. Standing outside a McDonald's at gunpoint while my best friends were described to me and then I was asked which one meant the least to me. It was like the old innocent game that went along with Truth or Dare. Firehouse. Which one of the people present would you leave if you couldn't possibly save everyone?
	Right now I would leave Joey.
	No, that's awful to say. I take that back. He just didn't get it. Yet. Maybe he would eventually. I could understand that he wanted to get out and didn't want me to be paranoid, but would missing one night of clubbing really ruin his life? Maybe in his eyes at that moment, but that was pretty pathetic.
	I pushed myself up off the couch, trying to neglect all thoughts of something happening to Chris or Joey. I started for the balcony where I knew Lance and JC were. They were doing business talk or whatever. Lance was probably working on his FreeLance. I couldn't keep track of their projects sometimes.
	I saw him with his laptop typing away and JC writing on paper with his feet up on the rail. I slid open the door and they both looked up briefly. 
	"Hey, Just," JC greeted. 
	"Joey and Chris went clubbing," I said sullenly as I walked out and took a plastic chair. I pulled it over next to JC's. 
	"You didn't go too?" Lance answered.
	I stared at him. "No."
	"But what's the matter?" JC asked.
	I turned my gaze to him. "They didn't take anybody," I answered as I sat down and put my feet up. "Not Lonnie, not nobody."
	"Well, they can take care of themselves, Justin… Let them have a night of peace."
	"I did!" I objected. "They went out, didn't they?"
	"Okay. So what are you so irritated about?" 
	"Just stuff."
	"Are you gonna worry all night?"
	"Probably."
	"Why don't we go out then?" Lance suggested. "Do something ourselves so you don't have to sit here thinking about them all night." 
	"Okay," I answered. I felt their eyes turn to me in surprise and smiled. "I'm not paranoid, guys. Don't look at me like that. I'm okay with going out, you know."
	"Well, you sorta give such mixed impressions." JC shook his head. "I really don’t understand it."
	I shrugged. Truthfully the only reason I was going out was because Chris had wanted me to. And he was sincere when he said it. Plus he was right. I couldn't sit around waiting for things to happen. If something happened, it would, right? 
	I shivered.
	What was meant to be will be.	
	"So what do we want to do?" JC persisted as he started to put his paper down. Lance was turning off his computer.
	I could see what they were doing. Overjoyed that I wasn't being apprehensive to go out, they weren't going to let this second pass them by. Immediately they were dropping everything to drag me out and prove that things were okay after all. So why did I have this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach?
	"Food, movie, what?" JC continued. "Just, you wanna pick?"
	"Nah, you can," I replied with a sigh. "I don't know." 
	"Well, I'm hungry," Lance said.	"Wanna go out to eat?"
	"OK," JC replied. "That good with you, Curly?"
	"Yep," I agreed. "Call Lonnie. I'm gonna get shoes on."
:-:-:-:-:
 JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"Justin, how many times are you gonna call?" I asked with a mouthful of pizza. I stared across the booth at him as he slid out.
	He stared blankly with worried blue eyes and a furrowed brow. "Until Chris answers."
	Damn Chris. I knew it was something as simple as him having forgotten to turn on his cell phone or letting the batteries die, but I was having a hell of a time trying to convince Justin of that. 
	"Boy, just sit down," Lonnie said in exasperation from where he was sitting next to him.
	"You know what I'm thinking," I continued. 
	Justin paused and shifted. "But I'll be back in one second."
	I sighed. "Fine."
	He scampered away and I turned to Lance. "This is ridiculous."
	He smiled up from his glass of soda and nodded. "Yep."
	Counting all the times all the people in this whole pizza place got up for something, Justin still had them beat. It was like every second he sat down he couldn’t sit still until he called again. "He hasn't even eaten yet."
	"He's going to run out of quarters soon, JC," Lance assured. "Don’t worry." 
	"No. If no one picks up it doesn't take your quarter," I reminded. "Stupid Chris. Telling him to call and then not even being ready for it. For all we know it's ringing in our hotel room under some crap."
	Lance shrugged. "I don't know."
	"Well, this is better than staying in anyway," Lonnie added. "You two were both happy about that."
	"And Justin was daring enough to find a phone by himself," Lance said with a laugh. 
	"Where is his phone?" 
	"He left it."
	I shook my head. "I can't believe this. All over again."
	"JC, chill. If anyone's handling this well it's Justin," Lonnie replied. "Don't have him faltering because he sees you freaking out."
	I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I wish I knew what he was thinking though."
	"Don’t we all," Lance replied. 
	"He talks to you though," I reminded sourly. "I have no idea."
	"Oh, you have an idea," Lance objected with a frown.
	Before I could argue, Justin was back. "He's not there…" he replied. That seemed like the most popular line out of his mouth tonight. And then the brooding expression and downcast eyes that went along with it.
	Lonnie got out of the booth and ushered Justin in. "Come on."
	Confused, Justin took only a small step forward. "Why are we changing seats…?"
	"So you can't get out anymore. Get in." 
	"Lonnie!" Justin exclaimed in protest.
	"You need help?"
	"Ugh!" Justin fumed but got in anyway and switched the plates and soda to the appropriate spots. 
	"Ugh," Lonnie mimicked. 
	"Justin, you realize Chris probably just didn't turn on his phone," I said as I pulled off a piece of cheese from my pizza. I looked at him. "Right?"
	"No, he would've. He told me to call."
	"He wanted you to call?" Lance answered.
	"He said call if I want to."
	"Oh. So, he probably turned it off," Lonnie said. "So that you couldn't bug him."
	"What?" Justin elbowed him. "Shut up."
	I laughed. "Justin, just don't try and call again. Start eating."
	"But what do you think happened?" Justin objected.
	"I told you. He has it off. Or the batteries are dead. You can yell at him later and find out what happened. Let's not worry about it now."
	"But I am worried…" he persisted.
	"If I'm not worried, nothing's the matter. Trust me."
	He sighed. "Okay."
	I smiled but inwardly I was groaning. This was impossible. We should be concerned about the tour and the fans and our schedule, but instead now we had this huge cloud over our heads once again. God, why? Why would this happen again?
	"Justin, how long are you going to worry about this?" I asked. 
	He frowned. "What do you mean?"
	"How long are you going to worry?" I continued. "Until something happens? Until they stop coming? Another six months?"
	His eyes narrowed slightly, as though picking up on my impatience as criticism. There was a small spark of anger behind his look. "What?"
	"You heard me."
	"Well, what do you want me to say? Aren't you even a little bit worried?"
	I shook my head and lied. "No."	
	"Why not?"
	"Because we don't know if they're real or not yet. Nothing's happened so far."
	He shrugged. "So far." He picked up his pizza and took a bite. 
	"Well, don't anticipate anything happening. There's no point in that."
	"You definitely don't think they're real?" He looked up at me again as he finished chewing.
	"Not really. They don't have anything behind them. It's somebody doing an 'I know what you did' sort of joke, you know?" I tried to sound confident. Justin seemed to be going for it, even though I doubted every word. Did I really sound believable?
	Justin nodded, but then shrugged. "But who, then? Who knows about what happened besides us and them?"
	"Maybe some psycho fan," Lance suggested with a comical smile. "That followed you everywhere and watched your every move, yet never said a word or approached you."
	"Yeah, right." Justin rolled his eyes. "That's not realistic."
	"This revenge concept of yours doesn't sound realistic to me either," I answered. 
	"It's more realistic than a psycho fan," Justin objected.
	I shrugged.
	"Besides," Lonnie started. "What's gonna happen to you while I'm around?"
	"Yeah," I agreed. "Just, Lonnie has more of a chance of killing you then these people you're remembering."
	Justin just shrugged again. "I guess… I don't know what to believe."
	"We've only gotten… what, two notes?" I continued. "Two. That's nothing. Who cares? Maybe there won't even be anymore. Who knows. Let's not worry about it."
	"But you are worried. I can tell."
	"No, I'm not," I replied with a fake laugh. But I was. I was more worried than I'd ever been.
	"Yeah, you are. I can see right through you."
	I shook my head. "I'm not worried. I told you, I don't even believe they're real." I tried to remain confident. I knew Justin was looking for some kind of comfort. Almost like he didn't care if I lied, as long as I lied well. 
	"Right…"
	"It's true. I really doubt they're real."
	Justin's gaze shifted to Lonnie. "Do you?"
	Lonnie shrugged. "Not really. They're unprofessional. Notes ain't even typed. We could have the handwriting traced. We should actually. JC, you were talking to the police, right?" 
	"Why would you go to the police if you didn't think they were real?" Justin's eyes bored into mine accusingly. 
	"Justin, would I lie to you?" Yes. Dammit. Yes, I would. I'm an asshole. "I don’t. That was just a precaution."
	"Why would you take an unnecessary precaution?"
	"Ugh. Shut up about it, already," I said, trying not to sound like I was snapping at him. "I don't feel like talking about it anymore tonight. It's a bunch of bull."
	"Lance, what do you think?" Justin persisted.
	Lance cleared his throat. "Listen to JC. No more tonight."
	Justin sighed and thank God returned his attention to the pizza in front of him. I exchanged a quick look with Lance. I think we were both thinking the same thing.
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I was so mad. 
	I was confused. 
	I was upset. 
	I was tired. 
	The television flashed images in front of me that I couldn't focus on. The walls around me changed colors with the illuminations of the screen. 
	I was barely aware. 
	I'd been sitting here for what seemed like forever. Right on the couch. The couch deemed Chris's bed, except he wasn't here. I didn't know where he was.
	Four o'clock in the morning.
	A million phone calls later. A trillion reassurances from JC and Lance and the message to go to bed if they weren't back by two.
	Well… 
	It was four…
	That message had been a while ago and it was pretty safe to guess that Lance and JC were asleep. JC had taken Joey's bed and Lance obviously had his own, so I was alone.
	In this half lit room.
	Alone in this.
	::You have four friends in there that we could start gunning. All I need to do is give the signal and that nice man that you've met will kill them.::
	I closed my eyes and the face focused in my mind.
	The blonde.
	The gun.
	The tone. 
	::You don't keep up your end of the deal and now you expect me to do something for you?::
	But it was over… What could they do now?
	I didn't even know if they still existed.
	The nameless woman had slipped my mind. The whole ordeal had just about been erased from my memory. Like a bad dream I had just let it pass as nothing and moved on in my life. The images had gotten fainter and fainter and I'd been okay.
	I was okay. 
	All the prodding to move on. 
	Forget it.
	Nothing's the matter. 
	It's over.
	Over.
	For good.
	They were liars.
	::You've done nothing to uphold our agreement::
	They were free. The men were free. As far as I knew, the police had put down the case and moved onto the next murder. The next robbery. The next assault. Why would they want to resurface?
	And now Chris and Joey.
	I didn't know if there was a risk. I had no idea. I didn't know whether to trust my fear or my common sense. But they were out there. And they weren't back. Four o'clock was later than usual for them. A lot later. And they would have called. Chris's cell phone would be on.
	::Which of those four inside means the least to you?::
	Oh God.
	::Which one? We could kill all of them if you'd like.::
	God, how could Chris and Joey do this? I told them not to go. I said to take a guard. I said to… I told them… They knew I was scared for them.
	I remembered the feeling of thinking I would have to choose.
	::How about the one with the dreds? How about the blonde one then? Does he mean the least to you? The Superman guy? Huh? Would you care if I shot him? Now there's only one left. It must be him, huh? Should I give the signal?::
	Why would they come back? Why would they do this? What if she were out of jail? I didn't know how the legal system worked. What was going to happen?
	::You were supposed to keep your mouth shut.::
	Why hadn't I kept my mouth shut? Why hadn't I been allowed to keep it to myself? 
	Then she wouldn't have been caught.
	She might be out now. What good was it?
 	::Well, why'd you tell them? You weren't supposed to tell anyone! Now five people know!::
	I dropped my head to my hands, the feeling of nausea becoming overwhelming. What had I done? What was coming back to haunt me? 
	::You know, I don't even know why we're keeping you alive. You're only a risk.::
	Did this mean she was going to kill me? Come back and finish what they had started? What I had started?
	::Don't think that I won't shoot you.::
	"Bro, I told you not to stay up worrying about this." 
	I jumped about a mile at the voice as a hand touched my shoulder. I was off the couch and could only hear my heart pounding. 
	JC…
	"What's the matter?" he asked with a frown, forehead creased. 
	I watched him sit down on the couch tired and slowly returned to my seat. I swallowed before speaking, not wanting my voice to crack. "You scared me. That's what's the matter."
	"Well, why aren't you asleep yet, bud? Look at the time."
	"I can't sleep. It's out of my hands. But I'm technically 'in bed' so calm down."
	"Don’t wait up for Chris and Joey." He gave me look. "They'll be back when they're back." 
	"I'm not!" I moaned. 
	"Then what are you doing?"
	"I'm thinking." Leave it to JC to start an argument. I knew he didn't mean it as an argument, but at the same time I couldn't help but get defensive. He was so nosy. 
	"Thinking about what?" 	
	"Everything. And, what are you doing up?"
	"I saw the TV flashing from in there."
	"Then shut the door. Or do you want me to turn it off?"
	"No, it's okay. I just wanted to make sure you're not expecting to stay up until Chris and Joey come back. Who knows what time they'll get back?"
	I frowned at his carefree tone. "Aren't you the slightest bit worried?"
	"I’m a little bit annoyed. I mean, we have to practice tomorrow and hangovers and dancing usually doesn't mix too well."
	"What if…. It's not their fault?"
	"What are you talking about?" JC had an incredulous look. 
	::Which one? We could kill all of them if you'd like.::
	"I don’t know. I was just hoping they didn't do anything stupid," I answered slowly. Shut up!! I told my mind. 
	"Justin, no, it's more than that. What are you thinking?"
	"I'm just hoping they're okay. That's all." He frowned and I sighed. "Is that a crime?"
	"Of course not. I just think that you're worrying about this too much and that you're letting the current situation bother you. Is that really what you think of when you're worried they're missing?"
	"Well, of course it's bothering me," I answered. "And missing? Since when are they missing?"
	"Well, really late. Wrong choice of words. They're just out. It's just… it has nothing to do with the notes, alright?"
	I glanced at him cautiously. "How do you know?" I answered. "And don't give me that 'I know they're not real' again."
	"Okay…" He seemed desperate for something to say. "Well, because the notes have to do with you, not them, so even if―"
	"That's not true!" I answered. The words came back to me. ::Which of those four inside means the least to you?:: "It's any of us," I persisted angrily.
	"Since when?"
	"Don't you remember that part?"
	"What part?"
	I shook my head. "Then never mind if you don't remember. Go to bed, JC."
	"No, Justin. What part? If it involves us…"
	"Just the part where they said one of you. Which one of you wouldn't I care… Don't you remember that?" I answered. "It's still me even when... You know, never mind. It's stupid. Forget it. I'm just tired."
	"No, I remember you saying that," he answered softly. "But that was just a threat to bother you. Obviously it was successful, huh?"
	"It wasn't just to bother me. They meant it."
	"No they didn't. Justin, either way that was six months ago. What are they going to get out of going through with it now?"
	"Yeah, why do they want to resurface? When everyone's forgotten about them and they're free? I didn't do anything else."
	"Who knows. Just forget about it." 
	"I can't. It's not that easy."
	"I know it's not easy. I do."
	No, I don't think you do.
	"You all said it was over…" I sighed.  I rubbed at my eyes tiredly. 
	"So are you blaming me?" JC had a hint of anger in his tone.
	"Well, I think you still think it's over," I replied, refusing to back down. "You still think they are not real."
	"Justin. Look at me. Last time it was physical. You got hurt."
	"So until I get hurt again, you don't think it's real?" My voice broke. "Is that's what it's going to take?"
	"Justin, no!" he exclaimed. "Of course not. You're not getting hurt in this."
	"How can you be so sure?"
	"I'm just sure. Do you want to be hurt?"
	I scowled. "Of course not."
	"Then you won't be."
	"It's not up to you though," I objected. "It's up to them and you don't know them. There's a lot of stuff that you didn't see. That you don’t know about."
	"Like what?" he answered cautiously. "I can't believe we're still talking about this."
	"Let's just say that there's a lot of questions that you and the guys didn't ask." This would normally be the time in the conversation for me to get up and walk out. But in this case I didn't really have a choice but to sit there and listen or talk. I didn't have my own room or bed and I wasn't about to lock myself in the bathroom. 
	"Justin, are you trying to tell me something or what?"
	"I'm just saying that you don't know them. You don't know their personalities and here you are making all these judgments and telling me what to not worry about when you have no idea what you're talking about in the first place!"
	"You talk a lot when you're half asleep whether you know it or not, so you're wrong," he answered dryly. "I know a lot more than you think."
	"How can you when I don’t even?" I retorted. "You know, you always have to be the know-it-all, JC. Piss off." 
	"You don’t even know? Is that what you just said? So who are you to tell me I'm wrong? You don't know either," JC persisted. "And listen, you can't hold it over my head that I don't understand or know when you won't talk." 
	"JC, I... Geez… Can we not fight about it?" I made a face.
	"Okay, sh… We're not." He leaned back and casually put his feet up on the table in front of us. "I only want you to be safe, Justin. I hope you understand that. I'm not trying to criticize you or get in a fight. I only want to make sure of your safety."
	"But the thing is it's not only me," I answered softly. "And I don't think any of you get that. Joey and Chris didn't. They went out. And now God knows where they are."
	"Let's forget about it for now."
	"Forget about Chris and Joey?" I exclaimed. "Forget them? Forget they're missing."
	"Justin, they are clubbing. Joey tends to go a little overboard sometimes as you know and they're probably just having a good time. Maybe they went across town and it's a while to get back."
	"Maybe. Maybe not though," I persisted. "JC, I can't forget about it until they come back. Not that I don't want to listen to you. But I can't." 
	"Alright. Calm down. Can you try to go to bed though?" He gave me a hopeful look. "I mean, at least lay down and close your eyes. Where's your CD player? Or Discman?"
	"In my bag," I mumbled.
	"Why don't you just put that on and listen to something? Try to relax." He got up, starting for my bag and I stayed silent, allowing him to start sifting through my crap for it. In a couple seconds he found it and started back, handing it to me. "Here. I don't know what's in there."
	"Fine." I took it and started untangling the headphone wires.
	"We're practicing for a lot of tomorrow so you have to get some sleep…" 	
	"I know, JC."
	He didn't sit again, but just reached out and messed up my hair. "Good night, bud. Try to sleep."
	"Night, JC…"
:-:-:-:-:
Joey 
:-:-:-:-:
	Ooh. Bright lights.
	Pain.
	Too bright. Shut the shade.
	"Lance!" I croaked. "Close the damn window, will you?"
	Silence.
	Why didn't Lance ever, ever answer me? Such a fool in the morning.
	I heard a door open and sat up slowly, every bone in my body hurting. The familiar feeling of a hangover embraced me as my head began to pound and nausea took over my senses. I groaned. 
	"Good morning," came the voice of Chris. Cheerful. Hurt my head to hear that cheerfulness. 
	"What's good about it?" I muttered as I scowled and stared at him through squinting eyes. He had a mug of something which he immediately handed to me.
	"Coffee." He gave a weak smile.
	"Ugh… Where are we?"  
	"My room."
	"Why?"
	He laughed. "Wow. Someone blacked out. We got in really late and I decided we shouldn't wake up the guys." He paused, eyeing me critically. "Do you want some aspirin? It numbed my headache pretty well. You looked a bit worse off than me though. How you feeling now?"
	"Like something the cat dragged in," I answered dryly. "Fuck… Damn bartender. Paid him to water my shots down…"
	"Joey, Joey, Joey…" Chris laughed. "When will you ever learn?"
	"Never," I replied with a smile as I pushed myself out of bed, careful not to spill the coffee. I took a sip. Black. Never was a big fan of black coffee but it woke me up good enough. "Thanks." I looked at Chris.
	"No problem, man. We should head over to the other room soon."
	"Yeah," I agreed. "Despite my body hating me, from what I can remember last night was fun."
	"Can you match any faces or names to all the phone numbers you got?" He smirked.
	I reached into my back pocket and pulled out about twelve slips of paper with numbers scrawled on them. "Dear God. No." I laughed. I tossed them in the trash bin. 
	"Aw, you should've left them in Justin's stuff for him to freak out about. He'd call every  number. What a surprise those girls would have."
	I chuckled and started an impression. "Who is this?? What do you want??"
	Chris laughed. 
	"Can you imagine?" I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the pain. "Where's the aspirin? Then we'll head over." 
	"Sure, I'll get some." 
	Six aspirin later I felt slightly better. I swear I was still half drunk the way I felt. Who knows.
	It was already ten o'clock in the morning. Chris and I walked over to my room and I started digging through my pockets and wallet.
	"No key?" Chris groaned. "That's the last thing we need."
	"No, it's right here." I laughed as I pulled it out and slid it through to open the door. 
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	We were a little on the down side. Well, Justin and I were at least. JC was still sleeping. Justin said we'd be better not to wake him because he'd been up at four o'clock in the morning. I took his word for it and just showered and made sure he had his cereal.
	Justin looked exhausted. There was no doubt that he'd been up with JC. His eyes looked watery like he was going to cry but he was expressionless. 
	"Did you sleep at all?" I asked as I drew my legs up onto the couch and ate alongside him.
	"No," he answered stiffly.
	"Not at all?" 
	"Well. a couple hours maybe," he admitted.
	"That's not good."
	"So I'm finding out."
	I laughed, but he still had no expression. He just shoveled more cereal into his mouth like a zombie. I was kind of worried but it was better not to press. Especially this early after he hadn't slept. I was happy though that I hadn't been woken up at four... 
	Several moments of silence passed us by idly. I had to turn on the television after a while because all I could hear was myself chewing and it was a bit eerie. Justin eyes became glued to the television instantly, even though it was obviously not very interesting. Commercials about detergent really weren't the highlight of the channel, I'm pretty sure. But he had a glazed over look about it anyway.
	Suddenly I heard someone turning the knob of the door and looked away from Justin toward it. The door pushed open and in walked the once absent Joey and Chris. 
	"We're back…" Chris said in a comical voice as he walked in grinning. 
	I frowned. "Where have you been?"
	"We were clubbing." Chris rolled his eyes. "Don’t act like you didn't know."
	"And we didn't just get back," Joey continued. He looked pretty haggard and post-inebriated. I could tell by the look in his eyes.
	"Yeah, we got back pretty late and decided to crash in my room so that we wouldn't wake anybody up," Chris explained. 
	"I don't think you would have woken any of us up," I muttered. 
	"Hey, we were just being considerate," Chris said as he walked over and plopped down beside Justin, forcing the boy to take two hands to his bowl to keep it from spilling milk over the edge. "What's up, Justy?"
	Justin muttered something inaudible and stood up, slipping out of the room and into the bedroom with his food. 
	"Oookay," Chris said with a little bit of a laugh. "What's that about?" 
	"You interrupted him eating," Joey answered. "He must still be cranky."
	"He's not," I spoke up dryly. "Did you ever think that maybe when you tell somebody to call you, that perhaps having your phone on you would be smart? Or turning it on?"
	"It is on and it is with me," Chris answered with a smirk. "Don't start with me, Lance. Look…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small black phone. As he opened it, he began frowning. He pressed a couple buttons. "That's funny… I thought it was charged…"  
	"Apparently not, Chris, so don’t start with me," I answered.
	"Wow, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Joey's brow furrowed and he ran a hand through his messy brown hair with an irritated expression.
	"Didn't you ever wonder why he wasn't calling?" I persisted to Chris. "And think to check it? Wonder if he was worried about you?"
	"It never dawned on me he wasn't calling. I'd forgotten." Chris looked at me. I knew I had a hard expression. He frowned. "Lance, I was having a good time. Whether Justin called me or not didn't faze me. Do you want me to lie?" 
	"Well, it should've, Chris, because it had a huge impact on our side."
	"He knew where we were," Joey replied. "Come on. Let's not get into this." 
	I gave him a look. "Didn't mean he didn't worry at all..."
	"He had no reason to worry."
	"He's not convinced of that," I reminded. "He was scared for you and you guys didn't care. You just went out partying. Do you wonder how he feels?"
	"Well, we're fine, aren't we?" Chris sighed.
	"Aside from hangovers," Joey said. He began to chuckle but that broke off when he caught my glare. "Geez, man, chill Come on. We talked about how we don't want him living in fear. I'm not enabling that." 
	"I just want you to realize he's upset," I sighed. 
	"Yeah, we know," Chris replied. "It's kinda obvious, isn't it? And he'll get over it. Don’t worry, Lance. You know Curly's just fickle. By noon he'll play nice again."
	Did they really not understand it? Sure we all agreed that no one should be fearful, it shouldn't rule our lives, etcetera... But at the same time, there had to be a certain level of understanding, or sympathy. "Chris, don’t you care?" 
	"Of course I care!" He scowled. "He's my best friend. I care. Trust me."
	I just shook my head. "I just can't believe you guys."
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Oh, voices.
	Voices, voices, voices.
	Nothing like obnoxious friends who disrespect your right to sleep in the morning and talk loudly, oblivious to how it may affect you.
	Nope. Nothing like those friends.
	I did pretty well ignoring them regardless. It wasn't until I heard someone come into the room that I inwardly groaned. With a head under a pillow, it was hard to determine who it was but I wasn't about to risk letting them know I was awake just to see them.	
	"JC," came the voice.
	Justin… I took a deep breath.… No… He knew better than to wake me up now after keeping me up last night…
	Don't answer.
	"JC," he persisted. 
	Don't let him know you're awake…
	"Josh…" 
	"What?" I croaked as I started to lift the pillow.
	He walked over and crawled in bed beside me. I noticed the cereal bowl and inwardly groaned again. Geez… What does he want?
	"Don't spill that on me," I mumbled.
	"They're back…" he said with a sigh.
	"Whose back?" I frowned as I rubbed all sleepiness out of my eyes and looked at him. He gave me a 'come on' sort of look and I sighed. "I'm tired, Curls. Who…?" 
	"Dumb and dumber. Beavis and Butthead." He stared and when I didn't answer, sighed. "Chris and Joey."
	"Oh…" I answered slowly. I eyed him critically. "I woulda thought you'd be off the walls with enthusiasm at that news, but I guess I can't always be right, hm?"
	He just stared, ignoring my humor. Fine be that way.
	"Well, Justin, they're back. Isn't that what you wanted?"
	"They just got back though. Right now. This second."
	"But they're back…" I reminded. "Right? So what's the problem?"
	"The problem?" He kicked my leg. "Come on, JC! The problem?"
	"Yeah… What is it?"
	"You're so stupid."
	"Thank you," I muttered sarcastically.
	"The problem is that they don’t care that they were gone," he continued. "They don't give a damn that I waited up for them. That I tried to call. That I was worried. They just laughed and were like 'we're back so what' and I … God… I don't even care."
	"Justin, it's not that big a deal," I soothed. I rolled my eyes. "Calm down. I told you last night, you were worried uneccessarily."
	"I can't calm down. Wouldn't you be upset if I stayed out for twenty-four hours and then came back laughing and ignored you?"
	"You wouldn't do that. Plus they're older than you."
	"That's not the point."
	"And it wasn't twenty-four hours," I corrected. "It really wasn't that bad. I'm sure they have an excuse. Do they?" My eyes narrowed. They'd better. I wasn't fond of the disappearing all night idea either, but my reason was simply out of the unspoken respect of knowing where we all were. 
	"They said that since they got back so late they slept in Chris's room so that they wouldn't wake us," Justin admitted somewhat reluctantly.
	"Well, that was just considerate of them, Justin…" I answered. I watched his expression crumble. "It was. They didn't mean anything by it. You're just too sensitive and you were worrying about them. I'm sure they never would have guessed you ewre up. Nobody's at fault."
	"How can you say that? Like I said, if it were me, you would not be saying this. It was inconsiderate of them, JC. They didn't let us know they were back."
	"It's not like they had a curfew."
	"But either way it was inconsiderate." Damn persistence. Where did he get this persistence from?
	"If they knew we were waiting, it would be. But they thought they were doing us a favor. They didn't know you were staying up for them. If they did, they wouldn't have done it."
	"I don't believe you. I thought you would be on my side." He pouted.
	"There are no sides," I replied, rolling my eyes at him. "Gimme a break, Justin. There's no they and us. What do you want to do ― be mad at them?"
	"For a little bit."
	"That's silly, J. Where would that get you?" 
	"An acknowledgement." 
	"Oh, an acknowledgement," I echoed sarcastically.
	Justin flushed as he got angry. "Well, an apology at least!" 
	"You'll get that from them without having to make a big deal and throw a fit. I'm going to talk to them."
	Justin smirked. "Ooh… They're in trouble," he sing-songed giddily.
	I rolled my eyes. "Not really. I just told you that you're being ridiculous."
	"Oh." He sobered. "Well…"
	"Yeah, yeah. So get out of my bed and out of my room and go finish breakfast."
	He started to slip off the mattress with a sigh. "It's not even your room. Are you getting up now?"
	I moaned. "Maybe, Justin. Okay?"
	He frowned. "Don't strain yourself."
	I smirked. "Get out."
	He made a sad face. "Sorry. I always wake you up."
	"No you don't. No worries. Just leave and let me sleep a few minutes longer?" I pleaded.
	"Fine," he huffed in exasperation. "Not too long though, alright?"
	I gave him a look. "Alright," I agreed. 
	He grinned and got up.
	So confusing.
:-:-:-:-:	
 Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	Joey with a hangover.
	Justin with a cold shoulder.
	Lance with an attitude.
	And now JC. 
	He'd just come out of the bathroom, showered and dressed. His eyes scaled the room and settled on me heavily. I blinked. 
	"So…" he said as he ran a hand through the hair. "Today is practice, right…? Joey what's the matter, man?"
	"Headache," Joey admitted. I studied him. He still looked pretty bad. 
	"I see," JC somewhat scoffed. "Oh, Chris… I wanted to ask you something."
	I licked my lips. Lemme guess. Justin cried to you and now I'm the one to blame. I'm the asshole. What about Joey? He was the one drunk. This whole thing was ridiculous if we were really going to let these notes start dictating our trust for one another…
	"Ask away," I replied.
	"Come on, let's talk." JC started for the kitchen and reluctantly I got up from the couch. 
	I shot Justin a look. "What the hell did you say to him? What should I expect, Justin?"
	"Can't hear you…" he murmured, ducking his head as I walked by his chair and reached to slap him upside the head.
	"Course not." I shook my head and started to the kitchen.
	I walked through the doorway and watched JC at the counter pouring some orange juice. I felt the knots in my stomach tighten, knowing in hindsight that they must have been worried last night. 
	"Well?" JC started, looking up at me. 
	"Well?" I replied.
	He took a sip of the juice before putting the glass down on the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. "How do you think practice will go today after this?"  
	I arched an eyebrow. "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"
	He shook his head. "No, actually, it was more along the lines of 'what the hell were you thinking', but I'd decided to transcend into it gradually…"
	"JC… I don't see what the big deal is here." I sighed.
	"Okay, I have no problem with the fact you stayed in your room. You obviously had us in mind. My only concern is the cell phone issue. Why did you tell him to call? I mean that became such a huge thing, and you were the one that suggested him calling."
	"I didn't know my battery was dead," I admitted sheepishly. "I really didn't."
	"He tried you every five minutes, Chris. Every time a phone was in sight. He loves you and Joey and frankly you two scared the shit out of him."
	I looked him in the eye. "JC, I don't know what you want me to say. I know. Trust me, I do. But you have to realize that it was unintentional. I love him too, and I would never do that. I don't make empty promises. He knows that. You know that."
	"Okay…" JC nodded. "I just wanted to make sure you knew what was up with him. So if he doesn't talk to you for a while…"
	I smiled wryly. "Great."
	"He was up with me at four so don't expect anything out of anybody but Lance today. He's the only one that slept!"
	"So our practice will be interesting," I answered.
	He laughed. "To say the least."
	"It's silly though, JC. This fear. I understand it, I do. Or I want to. But we need to put six months ago back in the past. Yesterday was one thing, but..."
	"I know."
:-:-:-:-:
	Interesting practice was right. It wasn't even interesting. It just sucked. Joey actually fell asleep stretched out on some of the floor seats at the arena. Justin was being bratty and ill-tempered, although mostly just towards me. He was sugary sweet to anyone outside the group. Lance was being slightly more reserved than usual, although he did have more energy then most of us. JC slipped up and wasn't Mr. Perfectionist for once…	 It was a mess.
	"Okay, break," Lance exclaimed after several minutes of careless mistakes and mishaps. "Guys…. We're looking really, really bad…"
	"Especially since there's only four of us!" JC yelled towards Joey. He sighed when there was no response. "Curly, wanna wake him up? You're usually good at that."
	Justin shook his head. "Not today. I don't care enough. Can I go to sleep too?"
	JC sighed, giving him a look. "No longer then our break is, okay? Like ten minutes." 
	Justin sulked. "That's not fair though. How come Joey gets to sleep?"
	"Because no one wants to wake him up."
	"Fine… I'll do it," Justin muttered. 
	Justin did exactly what I expected him to do. He walked down to where Joey was peacefully snoring across three folding chairs and pulled the middle one out of the way. Joey slipped between the two chairs to the ground, one of them actually fully collapsing. Then Justin held up the stolen chair in defense in front of him as Joey scrambled to his feet with a curse.
	"What were you thinking…" Joey murmured angrily as he approached Justin.
	"Can I borrow a chair?" Justin asked, slowly backing away.
	"Not funny."
	"JC told me to," Justin protested. "I get to sleep now."
	"There's a trillion other chairs you could've slept on…" Joey growled. "Now my butt hurts and you get to pay."
	"JC said to wake you up," Justin protested, continuing to back away. 
	"There's nicer ways to do that."
	"I haven't learnt them yet."
	"Let me teach you." Joey reached for the chair.
	"Get away from me!"
	"Hey, Justin," I called, interrupting the two's spat. I sat at the edge of the stage, legs hanging down. "Want to leave Joey alone and come here?"
	"No." Justin turned and glared at me.
	I jumped down from the stage. "Why not?"
	He stared blankly. "Because…"
	"Because what…?" I replied, eyes narrowed. I glanced at Joey. "Man, go get some caffeine and wake up. We need you to get your act together, and I need to talk to him."
	Joey shook his head and muttered something about 'not being worth it' before stalking away. I turned back to look at Justin again. He was just shifting weight back and forth as he played with the chair.
	"Justin…" I started. "You know what this is about." 
	"Chris, can you just leave me alone?" he answered as he met my eye. "Please? I don't feel like talking."
	"Well, I do. And this time I get what I want, kapeesh? So put that chair to use and sit." I watched him hesitate for a moment before obediently unfolding the chair and putting it heavily down. I grabbed another and pulled it up so that we were face to face sitting.
	Justin cocked his head to the side and simply stared. I stared back. There was about a half minute of silence. Then I got restless. 
	"I just saved you from Joey, you know," I started. "You could at least be thankful."
	"We were just playing," he answered.
	"Oh, were you?" I raised my eyebrows. "I guess that was only apparent to you, because I don't think Joey knew you were playing. I think you were seconds away from getting your ass beat…"
	"Says you."
	"Look, Justin…" I sighed. "What do you want?"
	He blinked. "What do you mean?"
	"Why are you acting like this?"
	"I'm pretending to be mad at you," he replied.
	I paused. "Pretending?" What the heck did that mean?
	"Yeah…"
	"So you're actually not?" I frowned. 	
	"Well, no, I am. But I'm more not."
	I nodded slowly. "You are a blonde, you know that? Can't you make up your mind for me?"
	"All I wanted was an apology…" he answered softly as he folded his hands in his lap. "From either of you."
	At least he was being honest. He wasn't denying an issue and that's really more of a start than we usually got. "An apology for what?"
	"See, that's why I was mad… You're so clueless."
	JC's conversation floated back into mind. "Look, I'm sorry my cell phone's batteries have a life span of like five seconds. It's not my fault. I didn't realize. It was my fault that I said to call and then didn't charge my phone. I admit it. So put that moping face away, okay?"
	He pursed his lips. "You said you wouldn't be out long…"
	"We weren't. We were in my room."
	"But you acted like it was no big deal…" he persisted. "When you came back."	
	"It wasn't."
	"Too me it was…"
	"Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you mad or upset, okay?" I looked at him and saw him expressionless. "Okay?"
	"It's not really…"
	"Are you pretending now too?" I hoped.
	"No, Chris! I'm not. It was a big deal. I didn't know where you were or what was going on."
	"Worrying is JC's job. Not yours. I told you we'd be fine and we were."
	"You also told me that I would be able to call you," he retorted. "You're not always right."
	"And I'll be the first to admit that. Neither are you."
	"I didn't know where you were."
	"I understand!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "You didn't know where we were, fine. But you've said it a trillion times. Justin, there's a point where you have to move on. Both with something as simple as last night, and in general with picking things to get upset over."
	"Don't you care that I was worried? Don't you care about what could've happened?" he cried.
	"Of course I care! But there's nothing that could've happened." I shook my head. "You are way too paranoid. Honestly, I don’t know how I'm gonna deal with you if this is how you're going to be from now on. I thought we were past this. We said we were past this. We agreed not to let it run our lives."
	"I thought so too," he replied irritably. 
	"It is over. So stop acting like this. There's nothing to be scared of. Least not about any of us."
	He shook his head. "Why doesn't anyone get it?"
	"Get what? There's nothing. Nothing's happened except for these silly little notes. Whoever's doing it  is too scared to come face to face with you. Obviously."
	Justin's eyes began to fill. "No…"
	"Don't you think something would've happened already?" I persisted. "Why would they wait? And like you've always said, and like we've always said, and like the cops always said, they wouldn't come back. They're gone. They're free. Coming back to you only puts them on the run again and puts the police on the hunt. They don't want that." 
	"I don't want that."
	"Of course you don't... Justin, are you ― Come on. please don't cry."
	"I'm not…" He wiped his eyes hastily and lowered his head. "We have to practice now."
	He started to get up but I grabbed his waist and pushed him back down. "No we don't. Not until JC starts up. And I still want to talk." I paused. "Okay… So you're afraid that the people will target not just you but any of us?"
	"Yeah." He nodded.
	"Why would they do that?"
	He shrugged.
	"Justin, they're not going to want to uncover themselves again. They wouldn't gain anything. You haven't said anything new. You haven't done anything. So what's there to worry about?"
	"Better safe then―"
	"Oh, shut up." I knocked him lightly in the chin. "Stop this, will you? Listen… Paranoia gets you no where. There's nothing to be scared of. Tell me what's different from last time."
	"Nothing."
	"Think harder."
	He hesitated. "Well, you all know, but that's it. Everything else is the same basically…"
	 "Well, we all know. Which means that you're not running off by yourself anymore. The only times you got hurt were when you were alone. And you're never alone. Only in the bathroom." He smiled wryly. "And you got Lonnie and everybody else surrounding you. The woman that was the one to hurt you is in jail."	
	"I want to make sure of that… I was thinking about it…" he started up again.
	"Yeah?"
	"I wanted to go and kind of talk to her…" he replied softly. "I mentioned this to JC once. I wanted to―"
	"I don't think that's smart…" I began. "I'd have to think about that."
	"But I could face it all. Get over it. Find out what they could possibly want. She's already in jail so there's no reason she wouldn't want to get the others in with her."
	"I don't know, Curly… It doesn't sound like a very smart plan if you ask me."
	"I can't get hurt. She'd be behind bars. Right?"
	"Yeah, I know, but… you might… Once you get there… and you... And you see her again…. Kid, you didn't even want to know her name and now you want to see her again and talk to her? It just doesn't sound like you know what you're doing…"
	"I don't," he replied. "I want to try it." 
	"I don't know. You might walk away a bit hurt after, even if it isn't physical and I don't think it'll be good…" I continued. "What'd JC say when you mentioned it?" 
	Justin sighed. "He said no."
	"Did he sound definite?"
	"Yeah."
	"Want me to talk about it with him?"
	He looked up and frowned. "But you don't want me to either?"
	"We'd try to see whether or not we think it's a good idea… We should all talk about it. How's that sound?"
	"Like I'm going to be the minority," he replied.
	"Probably," I laughed. "But we'll see."
	"Okay." He sighed. "Sounds good." 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	"You wanna what?"
	I shrunk back into the couch as the yell left Joey's mouth. I looked across at him in surprise. "Why are you getting mad? I didn't say I would…"
	"Oh, good…" He gave a relieved sigh.
	"I just wanted to…" I finished. I looked at him shake his head again. What was the big problem here? 
	I glanced at JC and he just looked expressionless, arms crossed across his chest. He was looking down, like he didn't want to answer and be negative right away. Lance looked slightly shocked. And Chris… Chris gave me a small smile and shrugged. I knew he was against it too, but I appreciated his idea for a forum about it anyway.
	There was silence. Was this conversation really going to be one-sided? "Does anyone have anything to say besides 'no'?" I asked. I suddenly felt defeated. I hated that feeling.
	"Yeah," Joey persisted. "What were you thinking?!"
	"That I don’t have any other choice," I replied. "That I have to get answers…"
	"Answers, Justin?" JC started tiredly. "Answers to what? You know that the moment you see her face again that you'll freeze. Everything will come back and you don't want that. Trust me, Curly, this is the last thing you want to do…"
	"I will not freeze," I answered defiantly. I felt a surge of resistance rise in me and fisted my hands. "How would you know? And besides, it already all came back…"
	"You told me you'd forgotten things…" he answered, shaking his head. "How they looked."
	"The guys," I answered. "The guys, not her, JC. Not her! She's still there. She's still out there…"
	"Behind bars," Lance replied. "Let's not remind her of you."
	"Oh, remind her? I'm sure she remembers!" I exclaimed. "I put her there."
	"Then you think she'll be happy to see you or something?" Joey answered. "You are not going. Over my dead body. How do you think you'd walk away from something like that?"
	"No different."
	"No different my ass. She's going to say something to you… or… or look at you a certain way and... No, okay? Just no. None of us are going with you and security's not going to allow it." Joey fumed. He seemed really bothered by the idea.
	"Maybe I don't need any of you with me anyway," I retorted. "It'd be better that way."
	"Oh, don't be ridiculous," JC answered, sounding slightly irritated as he sat up abruptly. "You can't even go to sleep without us next to you. You're not going anywhere alone." 
	"Says you. You don’t know how I feel," I replied. Getting ganged up on was not my favorite activity.
	"Says me is right. You're not going to go by yourself. I know you too well."
	I shook my head. "No, you don't."
	"Come on, Jus," he repeated. "I know you won't."
	"Well, like you said before, you ain't always right…"
	He gave me a hard look. "Well, in this case I am."
	"JC, he's going to want to prove you wrong…" Lance warned.
	"And I will," I added. I worked my jaw. "If you won't go, then I'll just find a convenient time by myself."
	"Okay, look," JC started angrily. "First of all, you have no idea where it is. No clue whatsoever. I'm the one with the phone number to the place, not you. You don't even know her name, Justin. Second of all, you're so scared to be ten feet from us, how are you going to go that far?" 
	I narrowed my eyes. "Shut up, JC."
	"I'm right. Admit it."
	"You're wrong."
	"Justin, tell us why you want to go," Lance started gently. "Maybe we can understand."
	JC shook his head. "I'm not going to understand."
	"Neither am I," Joey agreed.
	"Chris?" I started pleadingly. 
	He gave me a somber look. "Don’t look at me. I'm going to be objective here…"
	"But..."
	"Well, just tell them why you want to go."
	"JC, remember last time when I called the police?" I started.
	"Six months ago?" he replied edgily. "No, Justin. I don't."
	"JC, come on, don't be mad at me…" I sighed. "I was just going to explain…"
	He leaned back in defeat and dropped his hands in his lap. "I'm not mad at you. Go ahead." 
	"Well, one of the times I called, they told me that they had no idea where she was. Whether she'd just walked out or whether they'd 'misplaced' her," I continued. "What if that happened again and it's her doing this?"
	"We could call and see where she is…" Joey started. "There's no reason for you to track her down yourself, Curls…"
	"But I want to talk to her," I objected. 
	"What'll that get you?" Lance answered. "Honestly. What are you going to get out of it? It's not safe..."
	"I want answers."
	"Answers to what?"
	I groaned pitifully. "None of you understand..."
	"Well, you can't explain yourself, that's why we don't understand," JC replied. "Give me actual reasons and maybe I'll agree."
	I shook my head. "You're never going to agree."
	"Well, if you don't try to explain, you'll never know."
	"I already know," I answered with a sigh. JC could be so annoying. Thinking he knew what was best when really he knew nothing. "You won't agree but that's not going to stop me."
	He worked his jaw. "We'll see about that."
	I eyed him irritably. 
	"Justin, just tell me what you think you're going to get out of seeing her face to face?" Lance persisted.
	"Affirmation," I replied.
	"Do you even know what that means?" Joey scoffed. "Affirmation of what?"
	"Knowing that's where she is. I have to know. I have to see it myself. And I want to hear her..." 
	"Well, what are you going to say?" Lance started. "You don't know her name. Will you say that you'd like to talk to the woman that you put behind bars? What do you think they're they going to say to you?"
	"They'll probably lock him up," Joey replied.
	"Funny," I snapped. "I can see asking you guys was a bad idea. But, you know, I don't need your permission. I don't need one of you with me..." Yes I did. I didn't want to admit it, but I really did need it. Somebody please say yes...
	"Yeah, you do," JC persisted.
	"No, I don't," I continued. "I have to go. I can't live without knowing."
	"Oh, stop being so dramatic..." JC rolled his eyes. "You really don't know what you're talking about. Tonight you'll think it over and tomorrow you won't know what you were thinking. So really it's not even worth giving you an answer." 
	I glared at him. "I'm not going to change my mind."
	"Yes, you will."
	"Listen, when you wake up tomorrow morning and I ain't here..." I warned.
	"You wouldn't. I know you. You wouldn't do that. Besides, we have a concert tomorrow."
	"You don't know me!" I yelled. "You don't know anything!" I fumed, feeling anger well up in me. Advice was one thing, attempting to control me was something else entirely . "Chris, can I stay in your room tonight?"
	"Alone?" he asked softly, looking up. He frowned. 
	I glanced at JC, curious of his expression as I replied firmly, "Yes."
	"Justin, you're really being immature, do you know that?" JC started. "Chris, don't give him the key... Come on."
	Chris reached into his pocket and then tossed his key over to me. "I'll be there in a minute."
	"OK." I caught it and stood up. I waited for a reply, but they just stared at me.
	They were silent and I felt like screaming. 
	"Justin... Think it over...?" JC asked gently, as though finally realizing that fighting with me on this was not the best tactic. "Don't do anything you're going to regret..."
	"I won't regret it." I pulled away. "Good night..."
:-:-:-:-:
	I stared at the sheets as I laid face down on them. I inhaled the stale smell of the hotel fabric as I tasted the saltiness of my tears. As the blanket got wet, I turned onto my side and sighed. I told myself to grow up, but in this moment of quiet solitude I needed to let go.
	JC's stubbornness and Joey's rejection of listening burned in my mind. And Lance... Who knew what he was thinking... He might have even agreed with me but God forbid he chose a side. That would be too extreme for him. He might break his goddamn scale of life.
	I wasn't asking much. I mean, we were busy and all with beginning the tour, but still... I needed to do this. Needed to. Why couldn't they understand that? I wanted to face my fears. Face the image that haunted me. See her one last time so I could close the door on it forever. She could possibly cast a sliver of light on this enigma and I needed to explore that option. 
	And I wasn't allowed to?
	Well, that was too bad. What was wrong? What's the matter? How come you're scared? Why won't you let go?
	This is why. 
	This woman.
	This thing...
	I felt like she could still control an aspect of me. My fear. It was like yesterday I was fine and now suddenly everything was back to get me again. That's all it really took. One day. One note. And everything was suddenly different again. Every shadow and sound had new meaning.
	How could that be? Six months of being 'normal' again and now.... now this. All over again.
	My thoughts were so mixed up. My heart was dying with the thought of the four other men in the room being mad at me. All these scrambled messages flying around me and I couldn't read what they said. 
	I didn't know what to do. 
	Could I go alone like I'd sworn to JC? No. Not really. I'd never survive. I would turn back and run to their open arms again the second I got there. Wasted worries because I'd never go through with it. Not alone. 
	And even if I did... To come back... I couldn't face their anger which would undoubtedly be waiting for me when I returned. They wouldn't respect my brave decision. They thought it was stupid. And maybe going alone was.
	God, where are you? Why is this happening to me? Do you care about me anymore? Have I reached a point where it's my turn to make it alone or something? These things shouldn't be happening. We were safe and happy...
	Then I realized I was alone.
	Back to reality, I was in a hotel room alone... Scary thoughts. Spooky scenarios. Unwanted people.
	A knock sounded at the door and I jolted into a sitting position. I wiped my eyes and cheeks dry and took a deep breath.
	Who was it?
	Could they know already that I was alone? Were they coming to get me?
	I shifted on the bed in nervous fidgeting and silently cursed as the mattress creaked in protest. Instantly the knock came back, harder and louder this time, as if I hadn't heard it.
	I sat on the edge of the bed, undecided and then a voice called me from my stupidity.
	"Justin..." came from behind the door. "It's me." 
	Chris.
	Duh.
	You idiot, who else would it be?
	I jumped off the bed and ran to the door, swinging it open. "Sorry... I didn't know who it was."
	"Well, it's good that you're cautious, but you know…" Chris gave me a funny look and moved in, shutting the door behind him. "It's not like somebody can see through the door, so the peephole does do wonders..."
	I turned and walked back over to the bed, collapsing onto it once again. How could I have not known it was Chris? Why am I such a paranoid freak? 
	"You got JC pretty worked up back there," Chris continued as he walked over to sit on my other side. "You know that?"
	"I know..." I sighed, turning my head to the side to look up at him.  
	"They just can't believe that you want to do this..." Chris replied. 
	"Well, I do," I continued. "And now I'm never going to be able to convince them..."
	"And you're too chicken to actually go for it yourself..." 
	"Yeah." I had to admit it.
	"So…" He gave me a long look.
	"So…" I echoed sadly.
	He smiled and moved to sit down beside me. "So that's why I'm going to go with you, if... you know. If you really think it's something you need to do."
	I gave him a surprised look. "What?" Did he just say what I thought he said? "You will?"
	"I just said so." Chris rolled his eyes.
	I frowned slightly, still not sure that I heard him right. "But... What about JC? He'll have a heart attack. And we have a concert. Would we make it back in time? Not to mention that I don't know where it is or even the phone number..." 
	"Stop babbling." He put a hand on my back. "Alright, look, I figure that you and I haven't really done anything together for awhile so this is the perfect opportunity, isn't it?"
	I laughed. "Yeah. That's our excuse?"
	"As pathetic as it sounds, yes. Now, as for JC and the others... Are they going to know we're going? No. Are they going to be pissed when we come back? Hells yeah, boy, you better believe it. Be prepared."
	I laughed. "So?"
	"So there's nothing we can do about that aspect of our trip." He patted my back. "After all, who do you think they're gonna blame? Frightened, innocent little you or responsible, knowledgeable me?"
	"You're not responsible," I objected.
	"Shut up, you. Either way. You're not going to be in trouble." He paused. "What was the next thing...? Concert, oh yeah. We'll be back in plenty of time. We can leave a note saying we went to a mall or something even if you want."
	"So we won't even tell them we're leaving before we go?"
	Chris shook his head. "What if they want to go too?"	
	"True..." I paused. I couldn't believe Chris wanted to help me with this... "And not knowing where it is?"
	"That's my plan. You've got nothing to sleep in for here anyway, so you have an excuse to go back to the other room."
	I frowned. "I don't want to..."
	"Just listen. You go back to get some of your stuff to stay here and you go through JC's bag."
	"Oh, that's not going to be obvious!" I gave him an incredulous look. "No!"
	"Just look for either a little address book or a paper or something," Chris persisted. "We know he has the number. Or even ask for it if you don't want to snoop. Say you've decided to call instead of going."
	I shook my head. "He'll never buy it. Never." 
	"Do you have a key? We can wait until they're sleeping."
	"No. I don't."
	"Oh." He paused for a minute and tapped his finger against his leg. "Well, Houston, we may have a problem..."
	"I'll snoop." I sighed. "It's just going to be so obvious, you know. He'll see me going through his bag and kinda be curious."
	"Tell him you like his clothes."
	"We ultimately wear the same clothes."
	"Then pretend you thought it was your bag."
	"Oh, yeah, right." I rolled my eyes and laughed at the idea of trying to use that as an excuse. I could imagine the look on JC's face. 
	"Just, come on. Pick a tactic and use it. Do you want to go or not? I'm putting a lot at stake here."
	"I know, Chris. Thank you. I love you." 
	He laughed. "Whatever."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	"I can't believe this.... Dammit...."
	I stared at JC as he went on and on babbling about how stupid Justin was and how stupid he was and how he must've messed up somehow and he didn't know why they were suddenly fighting. Joey would add in little comments here and there and I was pretty much quiet so far.
	"JC, well… you challenged him..." I said after I couldn't stand his soliloquy any longer. 
	"I did not," JC replied defensively. "Definitely not. We were just having a conversation."
	"But when you say stuff like 'I know you' and 'no you won't', it gets him riled up. You should know that by now…" I continued. "He'll just hang with Chris tonight and—"
	"Yeah, be thankful for that," Joey interrupted with a sigh. "No more five guys in one room. I should thank you for fighting with him."
	"I didn't fight with him," JC objected.
	"It's him," I assured. "Just let him chill out a bit and he'll be fine tomorrow. He just wants to prove you wrong."
	"Well, what if he does?" JC persisted. "What if he tries to go somewhere?"
	"Do you really think Chris would let him do that?"
	"Yeah, actually I do. In case you suddenly don't remember, Justin and Chris always wind up being stupid when it's the two of them rationalizing.!"
	I shook my head. "No, he wouldn't. He—"
	There was a knock at the door and we all looked at each other. 
	"Who's that, you think?" JC asked.
	"Justin crying for your forgiveness," Joey replied as he got up and started for the door. He swung it open and sure enough, there was Justin. "Speak of the devil!"
	Justin scowled at him. 
	"Yes, it's the smiling face we all know and love," Joey persisted as he tried to push Justin's lips into a smile. "Justin, make me believable here…"
	Justin walked past him grimacing. "I just wanted to get some stuff…"
	I watched the way Justin's eyes scanned the room and glanced at JC and me. What was going on? It was as if he was looking for something…
	"Are you gonna talk to JC?" Joey asked as he pushed Justin a little. 
	"Not unless he says something first," Justin answered. 
	"JC, say something," Joey called. 
	"No," JC replied with a sigh.
	"JC…" I objected as I gave him a look. "If you wanna know what the problem is, then ask."
	JC just shook his head. 
	I sighed. They were both too stubborn. The idiots. 
	Joey came back over to sit and flipped on the TV. I watched Justin walk over to his and JC's bags and crouch in front of them. He grabbed some clothes from his bag, which was open and had stuff hanging out, and then shifted and started to unzip JC's.
	JC noticed too.
	"Justin, you don't go shopping every other day to borrow my stuff, so stop it," he said as he stared at him. "Ask for once."
	Justin visibly stiffened. He sat down on the floor and glanced over his shoulder at us. "I'm not taking anything. I… I… think I put some of my stuff in here before…"
	"Oh, yeah? You did not. It's my bag," JC replied.  
	"JC, I did," Justin persisted. "Let me just look."
 	"Whatever. Don't take anything that's mine and don't make a mess."
	"I won't," Justin promised as he resumed sifting through.
	What was he looking for? I kept an eye on him while he looked and frowned as he slipped a couple notebooks and what looked like an address book under his own clothes.
	What the hell?
	What was he looking for?
	I forced myself to stay quiet so I wouldn't get Justin in any deeper with JC. The two were already having a bit of friction so there was no need to make any sparks. I was not in the mood to watch a screaming fest. 
	I was so curious though. So, so curious. 
	Justin stood a couple minutes later with a handful of clothes. But I knew underneath that he was hiding other stuff…
	"You look like you're gonna drop all that…" I started as I got up as well. "I'll help you back with it…"
	"What? No, Lance. I'm fine. Thanks." He met my eye and then looked away. "Good night…"
	"Why don't you just take the whole bag?"
	"Because I don't need it..." Justin insisted. "See you guys." 
	"Night," Joey muttered. 
	"Night," JC replied with a sigh. 
	"Let me help you," I persisted to Justin as he started for the door. I followed him out in the hall and as soon as the door closed I took his arm. "Alright, Justin, let's see here…"
	"Lance, what?" His brow furrowed  innocently as I started tugging at his bundle of clothes. "What do you want?"
	"I want to know what… this…" I found the edge of one of the notebooks and pulled it out. I found the others. "And this… And all this… what they are… I want to know what you're doing."
	"Lance…" Justin started in a frantic tone.
	"What's going on?" I demanded.
	"Lance, don't tell him…" Justin started to plead. "Please, please, please don't tell…"
	"Tell me what's going on," I replied. 
	Justin started to take the books back. "No… I can't… Chris wouldn't like that."
	"Well what is this? What are you looking for? I mean, are Chris and you stealing lyrics or something from JC?" I started with an incredulous tone. "Because right now that's about all I can make from this…"
	"Lyrics? No. Do you think that's all that's in here?" Justin gave the notebooks a dirty look like they were guilty of something. Then he gained a brooding look. "You're not going to say anything, are you?" He looked up and met my eyes again. "Do you know what JC would do to me? Are you going to say something?" 
	"I don't think so, but you haven't given a compelling reason not to say anything." 
	"I'll have them back as soon as possible. I'm not stealing them or anything. I’m just borrowing. Yeah… borrowing for a little bit. A very little bit…" he rambled. "And JC really, really doesn't have to know."
	"No, he doesn't," I agreed as I offered a sympathetic smile. "I'm not going to tell on you, Justin. I just want to know what you need them for."
	"I just wanted to see if something was written in them…" he answered cautiously. "It's no big deal."
	"If it's no big deal, how come we don't just ask JC about it? I'm sure he could tell you right away what's written in there."
	"Because he wouldn't tell me anything if I asked. Chris is waiting for me, Scoop..." He started to inch away. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
	I laughed and shook my head. "No you won't. Tell me now. Come one."
	"It's for tomorrow," he admitted as he stepped back. "Chris and I were thinking…. thinking of…." he trailed off. "Lance, honestly… It's probably better you don't know."
	"Justin, I want to know. I just promised you I won't tell. I'll pinky swear if you want."
	He shook his head. "No. Last time we did something like this, you later said that I shouldn't have involved you, so I'm not making that mistake again."
	I frowned. "When did I ever say anything like that?"
	"When I wouldn't let you tell any of the other guys about anything," he replied reluctantly. "And you kept reminding me that it was your problem then too and you didn't like not being able to tell the guys anything. This is like that."
	"It can't be as bad as that. And, Curly, I never regretted you telling me anything. I wanted to help you, you know that…"
	"But it's just as bad. I don't want to put you in that position again…"
	I paused. "Justin, nobody hurt you, right?" 
	"No!" he exclaimed. "No, no, no! It's nothing like that. I swear." 
	I gave a sigh of relief. "Okay. I was wondering what notebooks would have to do with that. And Chris."
	He smirked. "Yeah, it's nothing like that. It's something we're going to do and… it's really, really going to get ya'll pissed so I think I've said to much already and—wait, isn't that Chris calling me? Yeah, well I—"
	I took his arm. "Not so fast…"
	"Aw, Lance, come on…" He made a face.
	Then it hit me. "You're going to try to go out and talk to her tomorrow, aren't you?"
	"Lance…" he complained.
	"You are, aren't you?" I demanded. "Justin!"
	"Don't give me that look, Lance. You know how important this is to me." He shuffled his feet and looked at me nervously. "Are you still not going to tell?"
	"So far… But, Justin, please rethink this."
	"No. Chris and I planned it. I warned Joey and JC anyway so it's not like they'll be too surprised."
	"No, they'll just be furious. There's a reason they don't want you to do this." 
	He sighed. "Lance… Don't tell them?"
	"I'm not going to, I told you already. I just want you to know how much trouble you and Chris will be in." I can't believe he was going to do this. Actually go through with it. And Chris was going along with it? Ugh…
	"Okay, I'm warned. Can I go back to Chris before he has a heart attack now?" he implored.
	"Wait. What are the notebooks for?" I pointed to his clothing pile in his arms.
	"I need the number to call the place and get an address. I don’t know where it is or anything… But JC has kept in touch with the police."
	"This is a big trip, Curly…" I warned. "You can't just hop in a car and drive there. Who knows how far we are? We have a concert tomorrow."
	"Chris says we'll be back in time," Justin objected.
	"Yeah, Chris says? Justin, come on. What do you think?"
	"Lance, he said we'd be back. I don’t know. I don't know how far it is…" Justin frowned. "We won't miss the concert. Sound check and stuff, maybe yeah, but so what?"
	"So what? Justin, trust me, you do not want to get management involved in this. It'll be a mess. But if you and Chris screw up and miss anything tomorrow, Johnny's going to be on our backs," I warned. 
	"Will we have to fly?"
	I shrugged. "Probably. You'll get there quicker depending on where it is."
	"Do you think Chris knows that?"
	"Probably. Justin, he's just doing you a favor, but don't leave it all up to him. I don’t think he totally realizes… You don’t either. Leave early, that's all I can say."
	He smiled. "Thanks, Lance. For letting us go through with this. I really need to do it.."
	"Oh, no…" I shook my head and laughed. "I'm not 'letting' you do anything. I am not involved in this!"
	"Okay, okay."
	"Just be very, very careful, Curly, please? Make sure Chris takes care of everything."
	He nodded. "Yep."
	"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at the concert," I said with a sigh. "Jeez, man… You're going to get your ass kicked then."
	"Shut up."
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	I was starting to get a little worried after it had been about fifteen minutes and Justin hadn't returned yet. I felt bad for making him go snoop through JC's stuff like that—it was pretty risky; but better him than me doing it.
	I considered my options dealing with everything tomorrow. I didn't have many. I mean, I wasn't going to take back my promise to Justin to go with him, but I was starting to regret my decision a little bit. We were both going to be in a lot of trouble. Not to mention that we were really going to cut it close with the concert… We couldn't miss that.
	We wouldn't. It would work out perfectly. Wake up really early and get on the road. Spend the morning and early afternoon making sure we get everything he wants fulfilled done. Get back on the road and to the arena in time to have JC, Joey, Lance, wardrobe, management, and whoever else chew us out. Then hop onstage and perform amazingly for our unsuspecting fans.
	Piece of cake.
	Okay, so where was Justin? I needed to get to sleep. We both did. We had to so that we could get up early. It was hard enough for Justin to get up regularly, and this time I was planning on a lot earlier.
	Why was I doing this? Why was I pulling something this outrageous and crazy? Well, I felt bad for before. I felt bad about how I had disappointed Justin with the whole cell phone ordeal. I know it was kind of stupid to want to make it up to him, but I really wanted to. I'd felt bad. At the same time, I was also convinced he did need some kind of closure. And if this crazy plan did it, then so be it. 
	There was a knock at the door and I jumped up. It was about time. I briefly checked that it was him and then swung the door open, eyes dropping to the pile of clothing he hugged to his chest.
	"I'm back," he announced as he pushed past me.
	I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for clarifying."
	He laughed and walked over to drop the stuff on the bed. I eyed the pile skeptically.
	"Curly, I hate to break it to you, but we're not putting on a fashion show here. When I said that you didn't have anything to sleep in, I didn't mean to—"
	"Shut up, I needed stuff to cover my stash…" he answered as he crawled up on the bed and started to separate. He pulled out a couple of notebooks and small books. 
	"Ooh, good boy…" I smiled as I walked over. "Did you have trouble?"
	"Not really… a little…" he admitted. 
	"Well, hopefully one of these is it." I took one of the notebooks and opened it. JC's neatly scrawled handwriting filled the page. I started to read briefly. "Lyrics…" I read a few lines. "Man JC is lame...." 
	"Same with this one." Justin held up another notebook and tossed it aside. "That one's got some pretty dirty stuff."
	"Be careful or JC will wring your neck," I warned. "How are you going to get these back to him?"
	He shrugged. "I don’t know… I will…"
	"He better not look for it tonight."
	"Why would he?"
	"Who knows when the man'll get an inspiration?" I replied.
	"Chris…" Justin began worriedly. "He better not. He'll kill me."
	"I doubt he'll notice," I assured. 
	"Should I get these back tonight?"
	"I don't know. Maybe?" 
	"But how?" he objected. 
	"Say you forgot your toothbrush and go back," I offered. "I don't know."
	"Can you do it?" he answered.
	"I'd rather not…"
	"I'd rather not either!" he exclaimed. 
	I picked up one of the smaller books and opened it. Numbers and addresses. This was good… 
	"This is promising." I sat on the edge of the bed and started to turn the pages. Justin scooted closer next to me.
	"That better be it…" he sighed. "Otherwise what will we do?"
	"I don't know…" I replied earnestly. "We'll do something…"
	"Will we still go?"
	"Yes. Of course." I smiled at him. "We're going, Justin. Just wake up tomorrow when I tell you to and we'll be set."
	"Will we have to fly?"
	I paused. "Maybe… That's a good question."
	"What about security?" Justin asked.	
	"Security? Since when have you ever considered security?" I gave him a skeptical look. Justin was always the most willing to ditch security.
	"Lonnie might keep a secret," Justin persisted.
	"Might," I echoed. "Might. So? What's in it for him, Just?"
	Justin hesitated. "I don't know… I just want to be careful."
	"We will be. If this is about being recognized, just cover that mop of yours and we'll be fine."
	"I can convince Lonnie," he persisted. "I really could."
	"I know you could. But we don't have time for that and you can't just wake him up now and then at four o'clock in the morning."
	Justin swallowed. "Four o'clock in the morning? I can not get up at four o'clock in the morning…"	
	"Well, you better tomorrow," I replied with a laugh. "We've got to be early. We can't miss the concert."
	"I know. Okay, I'll try. Don't pour water or anything on me and I will." 
	"OK," I agreed. I continued to look through the pages in front of me. "I'm not seeing the number in this, Curly…"
	"That's not good…" he fretted. 
	A moment passed as we thought. Then he got a smile on his face and said. "I think I have it.  I think I know a way to get it…"
	"How's that?"
	Justin smiled.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:	
	We were so boring. Just sitting here… watching TV… not even talking.
	The phone rang and my hand shot out instinctively to get it since it was next to me. Not to mention that it was a coveted break from boredom. On the second ring, I had the cordless phone in my hand. 
	"Hello?" 
	There was a pause. "JC?" It was Justin's voice and he sounded somewhat timid. I frowned as he asked, "Hey, is Lance there?"
	"Lance?"
	"Yeah."
	"Want to talk to me for a minute?"
	"No, I need to ask Lance something." 
	"Are you going to just hold a grudge over all of this, Justin?" I replied gently as I got up and walked towards the window. 
	"Not now, JC. You'll go off at me. Lance isn't there?"
	I made a face but realized he couldn't see me. "Yeah, he's here…" I admitted reluctantly. Well, where else would he be? 
	"Are you going to get him the phone?" Justin asked with a hint of anxiety in his voice.
	I paused. I looked over at Lance and Joey on the couch, both pretty into the movie we'd been watching. "Justin… I know that tone. What are you not telling me? What do you need him for?" 
 	"I just wanted just to ask him a question, JC. Stop hogging the phone and hand it over to him…" Justin insisted. "Is it that hard for you? Come on. Put Lance on!"
	"It sounds like something's up though. Talk to me."
	"I am talking."
	"Don't get smart. I just don't like how we left off before. You're not thinking of something drastic here or something, are you?" I couldn't imagine Justin running off like he'd promised but there was still an ounce of me that was worried. 
	"Drastic?" he said in obviously fake awe. "Me?"
	"Who else?" I retorted. "I'm sorry I argued with you before. I was just a little upset about that idea that you had… I know you'd mentioned it once before, but it's still pretty surprising to hear, you know?"
	"Yeah…" he trailed off as if he weren't listening.
	"So are you going to stay with Chris?" I asked with a sigh.
	"Obviously. I got my stuff, didn't I?" 
	"And mine too no doubt," I joked.
	There was no answer and I rolled my eyes.
	"Justin, you still there?"
	"Uh-huh…" he answered somewhat weakly.
	"What's the matter with you?" I replied. 
	"Nothing…"
	"I'm sorry about before, like I said," I persisted. 
	"Me too… But come on, JC."
	"What?" 
	"Okay, let me break it down for you. There's this blonde dude named Lance in your room? Well, give him the phone so that he can talk to—"
	"Justin," I interrupted. 
	"Please put Lance on the phone? Chris is tired and is going to be edgy if I'm on the phone talking to you all night so just put Lance on so I can wrap this up and not get my butt kicked?"
	"I'm going to kick your butt anyway," I replied.
	"Is he not there or what?"
 	I rolled my eyes and finally put the phone down. "Lance," I said loudly. Lance looked up and I continued.  "Lance, there's an annoying brat on the phone for you," I announced. "AKA Justin."
	Lance laughed and got up, taking the phone with him as he walked away from us.  I watched him walk out as he gave a brief hello into the phone and sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
	"So why is he an 'annoying brat' now?" Joey asked as he put the volume on the television lower.
	"Oh, just because he won't talk to me," I replied irritably. "All I got from that conversation is 'put on Lance' and 'is Lance there'. Oh and the unforgettable 'why won't you let me talk to Lance?'. Quite a conversation. We went through a lot."
	"Man, why's he always talk to Lance?" Joey answered with a frown. 
	I shrugged. "I guess because Lance was there last time and he's in the habit?"
	"Yeah, I don't know."
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I gave Chris a tired look as JC finally agreed to put Lance on the phone. "It's about time," I muttered to him as I covered the mouthpiece. "JC's such an ass."
	Chris laughed to himself slightly as he pulled another pillow behind his head and took the controller to put the television on. "As long as you get the number, it's okay."
	"I'll get it," I assured. "I—"
	"Hello?" Lance's voice came over the line.
	"Oh, hey, Lancie!" 
	There was a pause. "Okay, what do you want?" 
	I laughed. "Nothing, Poofoo. Great buddy, friend, pal…"
	He sighed. "What is it? I'm in the other room so Joey and JC can't hear… I assumed you're calling me for something I don't want to hear."
	"Well, just one thing," I admitted slowly, trying to play it out. This couldn’t be too hard. 
	Then I realized that I hadn't told Chris that Lance knew about this. I wondered if that would make him mad.
	"Um, you know what I told you before?" I started softly.
	"What's that…?" Lance began. "About tomorrow?"
	"Yeah," I answered slowly. "What we're doing."
	"Yes, I know then. What about it?"
	"Well… the notebooks had nothing in them so I kind of need you…" I could feel Chris's eyes on me but I refused to look at him. 
	There was a paused. "For what?"
	"I need you to find out for me…" I answered slowly.
	"How am I supposed to do that? How ridiculous is it going to seem with me going to JC and asking him for something like this?" he demanded in a hushed tone. "Esepcially after just talking to you." 
	"Pretty ridiculous under normal circumstances, I know," I admitted. "But just listen for a second. We can give you good reason. Like you can just say that you've decided that you want to find out about the case so that you know… know if there's anything to worry about or something like that. That way you need to call… you know?" Please agree. Please, please agree.
	"Oh, Justin, I don't know," he persisted reluctantly. "I just know I'll give you guys away by accident."
	"No you won't," I assured. He'd better not…. "Just act nonchalant like and ask him…"
	"What if it's in one of the notebooks that you took and he's like, 'oh sure', but when he goes over to his bag, he notices everything missing?"
	I shuddered at the scenario. "Well, then I just get killed next time he sees me," I replied. "But he won't make the connection that it's me that wants the number. Just that I'm snooping. He'll still get you the number anyway, you know?"
	He sighed.
	"Please?" I begged. "I know I'm really already eternally grateful but now I'll even be… be… immortally grateful… I'll do anything…"
	"I don't have a problem with doing it," he replied. "I just… I have no idea how I'm going to do this."
	"Just do it."
	"I'll try. Want me to call you back or come over?"
	"Come over," I answered with a smile. "You can bring back this stuff and put it back into JC's bag."
	"I'll call you then," he laughed. "I'm not getting my fingerprints on that stuff." 
	"Lance, are you trying to make me nervous? Because just so that you know, I already am, so…"
	"You took it, not me. Okay, let me go now so I can ask him. But not right away because I don't want it to appear like you asked me, alright?" he started with a reluctant edge to his voice. 
	"I love you," I laughed.
	"You say that every time somebody does something you want. You really think any of us believe you? Bye…" he sing-songed. 
	I hung up the phone and rolled onto my side on the bed to view Chris. He had a weird look on his face and I frowned. "What…?" 
	"Lance knows," Chris said.
	"Yeah…" I answered slowly, still frowning. 
	"Since when?" He sat up, fixing the pillows behind his bed.
	"Since I was coming back here with this useless crap—" I kicked the clothes and notebooks off the bed. They fell to the floor with a couple thumps. "—and he confronted me in the hall."
	"Did he force you to tell him?"
	"He's convincing," I replied with a meek shrug. "What's the big deal, Chris? He's not telling anybody. Trust me. He's never gone back on one of our promises."
	Chris just stared. "There's always a first time."
	"Chris…" I whined. "Well, what am supposed to do about it now?"
	"Exactly."
	"He is the least of our worries," I replied. "Believe me."  
	"Did you tell him everything? Why do you always have to tell him everything…"
	"He's going to call back," I informed, ignoring him. "Hopefully he'll be successful."
	"Uh-huh." 
	Chris laid back down and I sighed. 
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	This was going to be a fun night. 
	Excuse my sarcasm, but watching JC mutter to himself about random things and seeing Lance twiddling his fingers and nervously fixing papers or anything in sight was not pleasant.
	Was I the only one here not having an anxiety attack? My God…
	They both looked like they wanted to say something. Hell, I did too but I didn't want to get my head bitten off either. In situations like this, it was hard to determine what to do. There were so many risks…
	Lance had been fine before he got on the phone with the 'annoying brat'. He'd come back shaking his head and ever since then somewhat agitated looking. 
	"You know…" Lance started. 
	Yes. Finally life aside from the boring TV in front of us. Thank God!
	"Justin's just freaking out about this because he doesn't really know what's going on… So I was thinking…" he continued. JC looked up from his fidgeting curiously. "Maybe I should give the police station or jail a call and see how things are going. So we can reassure him a little?"
	JC shook his head. "I tried that. They really don't give any information. I think they're sick of me calling." He laughed a little.
	"Well, then I'll be a new voice," Lance persisted. "Do you have the number? I just… I think I can put Justin's worries at rest if he hears. Even if I have to make something up." He chuckled but I saw something in his eyes. Like he was… planning something?
	Lance planning something? 
	Hm…
	"Yeah, I have the number but I don't think you should waste your time," JC replied. "Don't you think, Joe?"
	I snapped my head back towards the conversation. "What? Oh, I don't know. If he finds something out it would be worth it. He could at least say he tried."
	"See?" Lance replied, looking at JC. "It's worth a try. Prove to him it's not a problem and move on." 
	"But it's not about the woman in jail that he's worried about," JC objected. "It's the people not in jail that he's thinking about."
	"I think this'll help anyway." 
	I shrugged. "JC, just give him the number. He's right."
	JC sighed and got up. "I've gotta find it. I wrote it down somewhere."
	"Let's hope you didn't do what you did with Lynn's number," I laughed.	
	He rolled his eyes. "No, Joey. I didn't." 
	"OK, good," I replied with a smile.  
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	Well, let's see. Joey and JC were falling asleep in front of a movie—and I would have been too if it weren't for my newly gained duties on account of Justin—and I had just nonchalantly convinced JC that it would be better for Justin to call himself…So what was there now to do but go give the number to Justin? Well, that's where I was unfortunately headed. 
	I frowned at the door in front of me and reluctantly knocked. I shifted my weight to one foot as I stood, gripping the piece of paper in my hand that JC had had—surprise, surprise—sitting by the phone. 
	Chris answered the door, eyes barely open. "Hello."
	"Hey, Chris." I waved the paper in front of his face. "Something you might want?"
	He smiled tiredly and took it. "Yep. Thanks."
	"No problem."
	Justin's voice came from inside groggily. "Is that Lance?"
	"No!" Chris called back as he leaned in the doorframe. "It's JC and he wants to know who took all his stuff!"
	"Hi, Lance!" Justin replied. 
	"You can come in…" Chris replied as he took my arm and then shut the door behind us. "We were just trying to get some sleep so we'd be up tomorrow."
	"Smart," I replied. "Hi, Justin."
	Justin grinned cheerfully as he sat up in bed casually. "You got it?"
	I nodded. "Uh-huh."
	"Yes!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands. I laughed at his enthusiasm. It was like the planning behind everything was distracting him from the actual issues at hand. "I knew you would pull through, Scoop! You totally rock."
	"Now, you know not to mention anything to the guys?" Chris started.
	I rolled my eyes at his worry. "Duh, Chris. My lips are sealed. I'm not involved in any way."
	He nodded. "Okay, fine. Just making sure. We'll be in enough trouble anyway, or at least me. But it'll be better if they don't find out before and stop us." 
	"They won't," I assured. "Trust me." 
	"Hopefully, we'll get back early enough and they'll barely notice," Chris continued. "Maybe we should leave a note that says we're taking a day trip or something… Yeah. And if they do notice and get pissed, Justin will use his secret weapon."
	"And what's that?" I asked skeptically.
	Chris smiled. "Show him, Curly."
	I looked at Justin and he made a pitiful pouting face, blinking his eyes and sticking out his lower lip. "I'm so sorry…" he said brokenly. 
	"Oh, very nice," I laughed. Chris applauded. 
	Justin grinned. It was the same pathetic pout he'd used since he was fourteen. While less of a child now, it still seemed to work.
	"If they find out where you really went that's not going to work though," I added. "Just to let you know. You look like part of a Bounty commercial. You know, where the kids spill crap all over everything, then look at the camera and go 'I'm sorry. So sorry'."  
	Chris and Justin exchanged a look. "Bounty… the quicker picker upper…." they screeched. "Bounty!" 
	"Uh… why am I here?" I groaned. I shook my head.  "I'm gonna go, guys, so good night and sleep tight. You've got a lot to accomplish tomorrow and I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for, but good luck. You might be incapacitated if Joe or JC sees you before I do tomorrow, so if this is the last time I get to—"
	"Lance, shut up!" Justin shouted as he chucked a pillow at me. It fell short and I just laughed. He glared. "You know, all these jokes about how Joey and JC are going to react, I mean, it's pointless. I don't care if they get angry, because I have the right to do what needs to be done."
	"Does it really need to be done?" I sighed.
	"Yes." He nodded. "I'm serious. At least Chris respects that."
	I exchanged a look with Chris, who shrugged. When I looked back at Justin, I noticed that he was bending down to pick up the notebooks from earlier. He lifted them up and walked towards me with a clever smile.
	"Oh no." I shook my head. "No, Justin. I already told you." 
	"Oh, Lance, come on!" he started.
	"No. I'm not risking it."
	He demonstrated his 'secret weapon' again and I just laughed. "That doesn't work on me."
	"It works on everybody," Justin objected. He frowned, knowing it . "Just do it? Come on."
	"I've 'just done' a lot for you, in case you don't realize."
	"Of course I realize. And it's appreciated. You do it so well…" he persisted. 
	"Good night, Justin. Sleep tight."
	"Aw, Lance, be a pal," he begged. 
	"Don't start. Look what I just did for you. Go make some calls and find out where you're going tomorrow," I replied. "I'm leaving."
	He sighed. "Fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	This was such a ridiculous plan… Driving somewhere would be fine but we were flying. This was so risky. If a flight got cancelled or delayed, we'd be screwed. Totally screwed. But it was too far to drive and I didn't feel like renting a car. It took too much. We could afford to fly and it was quicker, so we would. Airports were always a stress and disaster for me, but I would try to ignore that today. 
	Hopefully this was going to be worth all this. Justin better get what he wanted out of this whole thing. Closure or confidence or something. But at this point it didn't look like he would…
	Sleeping. How can you sleep at the airport? Having trouble waking up, I understood. Falling asleep in the cab, I could relate to. But not the airport. That was one of the loudest, busiest places ever. But he always did it. 
	So slouched in his seat, head at a weird angle and baseball cap slipping off his head, Justin did not look like he was willing to get much done today. I glanced down at our boarding passes as I sighed. This would definitely be a hectic day. I felt like going to sleep myself. But I knew that was a bad idea. If I did fall asleep, we'd definitely miss the flight. I glanced out at the planes through the large window behind us. 
	Six o'clock flight. Too early. Way too early. This is the last time… First and last. 
	"Justin…" I nudged his arm. "Wake up, bud."
	He groaned and shifted in his chair as I nudged him harder. "No," he answered.
	"Come on, the least you can do is keep me company. We're supposed to depart in twenty minutes so they should be boarding soon. They should have boarded already…" I answered softly. I hoped it wasn't a sign of delays already.
	"I'm not good company…" he murmured back.
	"Sure you are." I shifted in my seat and grabbed his falling hat, shoving it down tighter over his curly head. "Sit up and try."
	He groaned and did somewhat. "Okay..."
	"Yeah. You want coffee or something?" We hadn't had breakfast. I watched him make a face. "Soda? Something with caffeine?"
	"No, I'll be fine."
	"Want me to stock up on some candy?"
	"No, I'll be fine," he repeated.	
	"Okay, okay." I leaned back comfortably.
	"Are we going to be in trouble?" he asked after a minute. "I mean, do you think they'll be mad not knowing about any of this?"
	"Yes," I answered truthfully. "Don't worry about that now."
	"I am…" he answered. "I miss the guys, Chris…"
	"You're not awake enough to mean that." I rolled my eyes. "We'll see them tonight and you'll wish you didn't have to. Let's just focus on what we're doing today. Tell me."
	"Going to the police station which you have the address of," he started as he tilted his head to the side to lean against the back of the seat. He closed his eyes. "Finding Officer… Davis. Ask him if they know anything. Then ask if I can talk to the lady at the jail to see if she knows anything."
	"Good…" I nodded. "Let's hope we can do all that."
	"Of course we will," he answered. "Do you have your phone?"
	"Yeah, why?"
	"Are the batteries charged this time?"
	I rolled my eyes. "Yep."
	"Do you think I should call Lonnie? He's going to be quite perturbed…"
	Amused at his vocabulary, I smirked. "No, Justin. Everyone's going to be 'quite perturbed' and there's nothing we can do about it. I left a note."
	"Saying what?"
	"That we're going to ride around town today until the concert because we need to relax a little bit."
	He nodded slowly. 
	"That sound good?" I asked.
	"Yeah. I still think I should call Lonnie though. He's still pissed about me using the public bathroom in the mall. Remember that?" 
	I laughed softly. "Yeah. But you didn't know what was going on. He didn't either until we told him. He wouldn't have been so mad if he didn't know the details about the notes. But he's going to be mad about this anyway you want to try and get around it. Calling him now is not going to make a difference."
	"Maybe I'll feel less guilty. It'll show I'm thinking of him."
	"Yeah, yeah. No difference." I stopped talking as I heard a voice come over the speaker announcing our flight. "Sh…" I said. "I think we're boarding…" I listened and sighed. "Yep. It's about time. Ready?"
	He frowned. "Yeah." He got up and pulled his cap further down over his eyes. "This just doesn't feel right… No luggage. No JC. No Joey. No Lance. No permission…" 
	I gave him a look. "Well, this is for you. Not me. If you don't want to go…"
	"I do," he interrupted. "I really, really do. I just don't know why you do…"
	"It adds a little excitement into my boring life," I replied. "Justin, don't worry about me. Let's get on our flight, huh? So you can get back to sleep?"
	He laughed. "OK."
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	"I keep calling but there's no answer," I announced as I hung up the phone for the umpteenth time, shifting uncomfortably on the couch cushions. I kept calling Chris and Justin's room but it seemed like no one was there. I figured they were just too tired to answer the phone or whatever. Knowing them, they had probably stayed up pretty late and now were feeling it. 
	"It's still early, they're probably sleeping," JC answered as he walked out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. "Try later."
	"Or maybe they just know it's us," I replied as my hand lingered on the phone. "Justin takes a while to cool down sometimes."
	JC rolled his eyes. "He doesn't have to cool down. There's nothing to cool down about." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned back to the bathroom.	
	"Sure there is," I retorted. "He has to get over the fact that we're not letting him go anywhere."
	"Oh whatever," JC answered from the bathroom. 
	I leaned my head back on the couch and saw Lance coming out of the bedroom. "What do you think, Scoop?"
	"About what?" he replied with a frown.
	"About Chris and Justin not answering their phone. Are they sleeping or are they mad at us?" 
	I saw him hesitate and wondered at why he suddenly seemed nervous. "Oh, um, I don't know…" he answered, trailing off. "Is JC in the bathroom?"
	"Nope," JC answered as he walked out. "You don't have any idea, Lance?"
	"No. Why?"
	"Well, I want to know whether to let them sleep or go over and talk to them."
	Lance shrugged and walked around the couch to sit next to me. "Whatever you want to do I guess…" 
	"You don’t sound too enthusiastic," I laughed, elbowing him. "Tired?"
	"No, I just don't want to get on anybody's side," he replied.
	I shrugged. "There are no sides really. Just JC vs. Justin."
	"Shut up!" JC exclaimed as he walked over to pounce on me. "I told you already that there's nothing to cool off about and that he's not mad at me and I'm not mad at him."
	"Okay!" I laughed as I pushed him off of me. "Calm down before this turns into Celebrity Deathmatch!" 
	He laughed and settled next to me on the couch. "If Justin does something stupid…"
	"He's with Chris," I reminded.
	He gave me an incredulous look. "Exactly! Dumb and Dumber!"
	I shook my head. "We have a concert tonight. They're not going anywhere. They're sleeping late, that's about it. And good. They probably need sleep." 
	Lance cleared his throat. "Are we going to get some breakfast? You said we were going."
	"I thought we'd wait for them," JC objected. "Joey, try and call again."
	"JC, I just did!" I replied with a whine. "They're not going to answer now. Two seconds passed." I dialed anyway when I saw his face and rolled my eyes. After a minute of unanswered rings, I hung up. "I’m not about to leave a message. Do you have a key? You want to talk to them so bad, we'll just go wake them up physically."
	"It's still kinda early…" Lance began.
	"Early?" JC echoed. "It is not. We should get over to the arena in about four or five hours and I want to eat breakfast and lunch before that." 
	"Me too," I agreed. "I’m starving. If there's a choice, I'd rather not wait for them."
	"Why don't you knock on their door at least?" JC answered.
	I pushed up from the couch and sighed. "Yeah, at least," I muttered. "Let me back in when I knock, huh?" I paused as I reached the door and noticed a piece of paper lying at my feet. Aw, no, not again… 
	I crouched down to pick up the paper and unfolded it, relieved to see Chris's handwriting. However, as soon as I read it, my relief faded. "Oh geez…."
	"What, Joe?" Lance replied.
	I turned back to them and slowly walked over. "Get this." I cleared my throat. "To JC, Joey, and Lance. Justin and I have decided to take a day trip because we feel we need to relax a bit. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we'll be back tonight. I know we're missed desperately. Love Chris. PS. Lance, Justin wants you to give you know what back to you know who and he says please." I looked at them.
	Lance was shaking his head. "That's what he thinks."
	"What's 'you know what', Lance?" JC asked. "Who's 'you know who'?"
	Lance's eyes widened just noticeably. "Oh, I don't even know…" 
	"I think you do," I replied. "What's he talking about?"
	"Seriously. I don't know," Lance persisted. "It's Justin. Who knows."
	"But who's he want to give 'who knows' back to?" I started. "It better not be me. I don't have anything he wants anyway."
	"Probably from me," JC said irritably. "He was all over my bag. I should check. Lance, do you know? Seriously."
	Lance just shook his head but I could tell he was lying. He wasn't a very good liar. But I didn't say anything. He must've had a good reason.
	"Why would they go on a 'day trip'?" JC was shaking his head. "You're right, Joey. It is JC vs. Justin because I'm getting mad."
	"Told ya," I laughed. "See?"
	"So, uh… what are we going to do?" Lance asked.
	"Go to breakfast!" I exclaimed. "Right, JC?" I waved my hand in front of his expressionless face. "Come on." I snapped my fingers. "Don't get mad until they come back. I’m waiting because I want them to see me explode."
	JC smiled wryly. "Yeah, right."
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	"Want help with that?" I asked as I stole a French fry off the tray that Chris was balancing. We started away from the McDonald's counter slowly and I eyed his shaky steps. Since we hadn't eaten all day, once the plane landed we immediately went to the food court of the airport. 
	"No, it's fine," he replied as he eyed the two large sodas, large fries, and four burgers that wavered on the tray in his hands. We were hungry.
	"You sure?" I persisted, chewing on the inside of my cheek nervously. "Don't drop my lunch, man."
	"Shut up. See that table over there? That's where we're going."
	"OK," I answered just as a loud shrill ringing sounded. "Phone?"
	"My pocket, get it." He stopped walking and sighed. 	
	I reached into his pocket quickly and took out the phone, opening it and putting it up to my ear. "Hello?" I answered it. We started walking again, Chris faster so that he could put the tray down.
	There was a slight pause on the other end of the line. "Would you answer two questions for me, please?"
	My heart stopped for a second. JC. I recovered quickly and cleared my throat. "Hi, JC," I said cheerily. "I miss you."
	"Two questions," he persisted. 
	I bit my lip. "You sound mad." I knew damn well that he was but playing innocent often got you places. 
	"Because I am mad. First question: Where are you? Second question: What the hell are you thinking?" 
	I hesitated. "I'm…"
	"The more you lie the more painfully I kill you when you come back," he said stiffly.
	Uh-oh. Not good. "I can barely hear you," I started nervously. "So much static… Chris's batteries must be dying again. He never charges this thing. Can you hear me?" I paused and cleared my throat again. "Chris, did you charge this thing?"
	"Don't even try that act. I can hear you fine. Answer me, Justin Randall."
	"JC? How come you're not answering? Can you hear me?" I persisted. Damn, damn, damn! I didn't know what to say.
	"You and Chris... You two just can't be left alone, can you?" he continued in a low voice. "I know damn well that you can hear me, so listen up. We have a concert tonight. You do not want to be the slightest bit late. You don't want to miss soundcheck. Hear me? I don't know where your little day trip is to, but you better be back in about an hour."
	I paused. "Uh… An hour? Mission impossible, JC…"
	"So you can hear me, huh, smartass?"
	"Josh, listen, we're gonna miss soundcheck." I reached the table and gave Chris a pleading look. He had already taken a seat and was starting on the fries. He met my eye and frowned. He knew who was on the phone, knew what the conversation was, but what was he going to add to it? Hanging up was probably not as bad as anything I could say right now. 
	JC's voice was sharp. "No, listen to me. You won't miss it. You can't miss it."
	I laughed nervously. "I'm listening... But trust me... That ain't possible…"
	"Look, I don’t think you're understanding me here, Justin…"
	"I am though," I replied with a sigh. "We can't be back by then. We'll be back for the concert though. That I swear." 
	"That's not good enough. Where are you? I'll come and get you myself if that's the problem," he said dryly. 
	"Uh-uhn." I sighed. What could I say? 
	"Are you trying to prove something here?" he demanded. "The only thing you're proving is how immature you still are. You and Chris can not just run off to God knows where without security whenever you feel like and you should both know better—"
	I pulled the phone away from me and whimpered, giving Chris a look. "JC's having a coronary, Chris. I can't do this..."
	Chris rolled his eyes and put out his hand. "Here, I'll take care of him. Start eating."
	I handed him the phone in relief and took a seat. I took off my hat for a second to run a hand through my hair and stared at the food in front of me. Why'd JC have to go crazy over everything. I hoped Lance hadn't said anything to him. I knew he probably wouldn't, but I was still a little scared. Well, they couldn't touch us where we were anyway. 
	I picked up my burger and started to unwrap it as I listened to Chris.
	"Uh-huh. Yep. I know I am, JC," he was saying. "Where are we? McDonald's. Uh, yeah, the one down the street, sure. No, don't come. There's a lot of possibly scary looking fans in here and it wouldn't be smart… We're both fine." He smiled and laughed. "Sorry. Yeah, I know, but your threats are funny. Why? Just because."
	He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head.
	"The one time you charge your phone," I muttered at him. 
	He nodded and gave a tight grin.
	"JC, man, you're really overreacting…. Oh, yeah, I haven't seen nothing? Yeah, something tells me that. I'm an irresponsible fool and a bad role model… Uh-huh. Thank you. I'm going to hang up now, alright? No? Well, we'll chat later. We miss you. Take care."
	Chris snapped his phone shut. "That man needs to take a sedative or something."
	I smiled weakly. "Chris, as much as I wanna be here, I'm starting to have doubts."
	"Because we'll miss soundcheck? Just chill. We're here. Nothing's stopping us. Try and relax."
	"But I'm scared about where we're going, too, though," I objected. "I feel sick." 
	He shook his head. "No you don't."
	"I do."
	"Just eat. You'll feel better."
	"I don't know... I don't know what I'm doing…" 
	"Today is going to run smoothly. This should be one of the easiest days we've had in a while, Justin. It's just you and me, so if you ever don't feel right, we'll go home, simple as that. Just tell me."
	"I don't want to go home." I shook my head. "If I say I want to… Don't listen to me because I don't. Not until we do this." 
	"Okay…" he laughed. "Good, because it's better that we make our trouble worth it."
	"Are we going to tell them where we went?"
	He shook his head. "No. I mean, I haven't really thought that far ahead, but I really don't think that would be smart. Make them more mad, you know?"
	"Okay. Whatever you say, 'cause I don't know, but I thought it might make them understand a little better."
	"There's going to be no room for understanding when we get back, trust me. Hopefully it'll be close to the concert and they won't say much. After all, we can't be upset on stage now, can we?"
	"With the way you're talking I don't think they'll care." I made a face.
	"Yeah, well, like I said, let's not worry about that now. Wanna rent a car?"
	I smiled. "A nice car?"
	"We're at an airport. Not sure we'll find a Maserati or anything like that..."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	I watched JC hang up the phone and curse loudly. He turned around and kicked the couch. He kicked it again a second later. I didn't say anything and neither did Joey. We just watched in an awe at JC's sudden rare burst of anger. And after several seconds he took a deep breath and sat back down again.
	"My foot hurts!" he yelled.
	"I'm not surprised…" Joey laughed slightly. "What are you so mad at?"
	"Chris and Justin. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Jesus…." he moaned. "I can't believe them. I don't know where the hell they are. They said McDonald's but the way Justin talked it has to be further than that…"
	"You don't think that they'd go out to the police, do you?" Joey started. "Justin did threaten…"
	I listened silently to their conversation, refusing to speak and accidentally give Justin and Chris away. I was torn once again. I couldn't stand the feeling. My conscience was ripped in half and I didn't know which side to go to. It wasn't Justin's fault though. He'd warned me that I'd feel this way. And I didn't listen and made him tell me anyway. I hated being torn but… Was this better than being in the dark?
	"He wouldn't…" JC shook his head and got up again. "They wouldn't." He started pacing. "Justin wouldn't do that because he can't. He's too scared, right? Right? He wouldn't do that, right?"
	"I don't know…" Joey answered with a shrug. "I'd agree, except that he was pretty stubborn about it last night. And the way Chris said he was going to be objective… Who knows. Once it was just them…." 
	"Lance, what do you think?" JC asked.
	I noted the desperation in his voice and sighed to myself. Oh, boy, Lancie, what did you get yourself into this time….  
	"I really don’t know…" I answered slowly.
	"You have to know. He's been telling you everything," JC persisted. 
	Should I say I do, but that I can't tell them? Would they buy that? Would they leave me alone? I wouldn't be lying…
	They already assume that's where they might be going. And Justin and Chris didn't care about them knowing as long as they knew after they'd left. So that they couldn't be stopped. 
	So maybe it was okay…
	"Lance?" Joey snapped his fingers in front of my face and I turned to look at him. 
	What do I do?
	"Lance, you know, don't you?" Joey started. "JC, he knows. What's the matter with you, Lance? Why didn't you tell us?"
	I decided I couldn't go back on my word. I didn't say a thing. "I can't." 
	"Oh, what's it matter anymore?" JC cried out in exasperation. "How can we possibly do anything about it now anyway?"
	I didn't tell them. "I'm not saying anything." 
	"How could you not tell us?" Joey persisted. "Could we have stopped them?"
	"They were going to go no matter what," I answered finally. "I wasn't involved. I just found out last minute. I told them not to go."
	"Well, swell job that did!"
	"Joey, chill, it's not Lance's fault," JC replied stiffly. "I can't believe this… Geez…"
	There was a knock at the door and we all looked towards it.
	"Who could this possibly now?" JC muttered as he started towards it. He pulled it open and groaned. "Hey, Lonnie."
	"You don't seem very happy," the man replied as he walked in. "What's the matter?"
	"We've got some MIA's," he replied as he came back over. "Not our fault though. None of us knew." He sent me a look.
	"Knew what? Where'd they go?" Lonnie frowned. "Chris and Justin? Mustn't be far. Those two couldn't punch their way out of a paper bag."
	"No, we think it's pretty far," Joey replied.
	"Why you think that?" Lonnie answered. "They ain't that stupid."
	"Well… Justin had his mind set on going back to the police. Seeing what he could find out in person…" Joey persisted. "We told him no but you know how he gets… He said he needed to see the woman behind bars with his own eyes."
	"You told him no and forgot to put a leash on him?" Lonnie replied. "Well, thanks for telling me now."
	Joey made a face. "Chill, we didn't know either."
	"You think we wanted to have them run off right before a concert?" JC demanded as he paced around the room.
	Lonnie glanced at him and watched him get a drink from the kitchen skeptically. "JC's freaking out I see."
	"Yep," I agreed. Joey nodded. 
	Lonnie walked over and sat down. "When is it going to get through to that boy's head that he's got me for a reason? That I actually do more than make fun of him?" He sighed. "I came over wondering why you guys were sitting around when you'd wanted to get over to the arena early, but now I know…"
	JC stormed back in, gripping a glass of water in his hand. He was muttering to himself. "We miss you, Josh… We swear I'll be back in time. You sound mad. We won't miss anything. We're fine… Bullshit."
	"He talked to him on the phone," I explained to Lonnie, who looked puzzled at JC's rambling.
	"Ah…" Lonnie nodded. "And?"
	"And they wouldn't tell us where they were or what they were doing." I was relieved that Lonnie hadn't blown up. I guess he was waiting too. 
	"So what exactly were you guys planning on doing?" Lonnie continued. "Just waiting until they came back?"
	"What can we do?" Joey replied.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	I shook my head. "You can't."
	"Try and stop me, Chris."
	I stared at Justin patiently and dangled the keys in front of his face yet out of his reach. "From driving it? You try and do it first. Heh. Know how to jumpstart?"
	"But…. but it's such a nice car…" Justin stared at our newly rented vehicle with a look of longing. 
	"You're a Mercedes-aholic," I replied. "Get over it. And I know it's nice. That's why you're not driving it."	
	"Seriously, why can't I drive? I have more of a clue than you do about where we're going…" He started over to the driver's side and I grabbed his arm.
	"One more step, you can forget even getting into the nice car," I warned. "You'll be in the trunk."
	He rolled his eyes and gave me an exasperated look.
	"There's a lot of reasons why you can't," I started restlessly. "First of all, you're not old enough to. You gotta be at least twenty one to drive a rental. Even older I think, I'm not sure."
	"Aw, you're making it up." Justin crossed his arms.
	"Nope. You can look it up," I promised. "And if you don’t believe me still, then another reason is that I didn't list you as a driver when I rented it. So the insurance wouldn't cover you if something happened. So, Mr. Speeder, I'm not taking a chance."
	"I do not speed."
	"Speedometers don't lie, buddy boy. So kindly walk over to the passenger side. In fact, I'll be nice and open the door for you if you want."
	He pushed past me irritably and finally got in the car, slamming the door.
	"Well," I huffed aloud. I got in the drivers side and shut the door. "Maybe you can drive back…" I lied as I turned the key in the ignition.
	"Really?" Justin grinned.
	No. Over my dead body.
	I smiled. "Maybe."
	"You rock, Chris." Justin started fumbling with the radio.
	"I know I do… Hey keep that. It's a classic." I swatted at his hand as he was about to turn off Paul McCartney and John Lennon. 
	"Classic smassic," he muttered as he sat back and reached for his seat belt. 

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

	"So…" I rested my hands on the steering wheel. "Which way do we go?"
	Justin turned his head to glance at me. "Um, how about we drive out of the rental parking lot?"
	"That's not what I meant, genius." I laughed as I put the car into reverse and started to back out of the spot.
	"I should drive."
	"Why? You don’t know where you're going either."
	"I have more of a clue than you do." He sighed, as though being able to drive would have been the most important thing in the world.

Suddenly, I'm not half to man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh,  yesterday came suddenly.

	"Quit singing along and drive." Justin bounced in the seat next to me. "Come on, old man."
	"I'm trying to remember what road it's on," I answered. "And if you listen to the lyrics of the song, I think you could really relate to it."
	"I don't feel like relating. I feel like getting out of the parking lot. They're giving us a weird look…"
	"Who, Justin? There's no one around." I looked out at the parking lot, empty other than cars. 
	"In the building," Justin persisted. He started playing with his seatbelt. "Let's drive. Go somewhere."
	I studied his fidgety actions out of the corner of my eye and realized how nervous he was getting. Well, I could understand that. Even I was a little bit apprehensive. We were facing something in his past that we hadn't even expected to be mentioned. And we didn't have any happy people back at the hotel when we got home anyway. It was a losing situation, but hopefully we'd get some information.
	I started to wonder why I'd agreed to all of this. It seemed crazy.
	"Are you ready to go, Justin?" I asked, taking my hands off the wheel and leaning back to stretch nonchalantly. 
	"I've only been asking you to drive, Chris…" he replied. 
	"I know, but I just want to make sure you really want to do this. Because we don't know what's going to happen. I won't think you're a baby if you say you want to go back."
	"No." He shook his head firmly. "We're going. Don't you want to?"
	"This is for you."
	"I want to go."
	"Alright, then we're going." 
	I sighed. Please, be the right decision….
:-:-:-:-:
	A little bit later, we'd finally made progress.
	"Yeah me. I parallel parked!" I applauded myself. "It's been a while."
	"Can we… Can we just sit here for a minute?"
	I looked over at Justin skeptically. I knew this was going to happen. Dammit.
	"Sure…" I replied slowly. "You're going to go in, right?"
	"Yeah, of course," he replied stiffly. "I just… want to plan what I'm going to say." 
	I nodded. "Okay." I glanced at my watch and turned off the car, taking my seatbelt off. I slipped the keys into my pocket and took a deep breath.
	"Want to get something to eat first?" Justin started up after a minute of silence. He put his seatbelt back on.
	"No." I shook my head. "Justin… It's now or never. What's it going to be?"
	"A few minutes…" he replied. "I'm just thinking."
	"Well, thinking is only gonna make you change your mind." I reached over for his seatbelt.
	"Not yet!" He covered the buckle with his arm. "Give me a minute!"
	"I gave you a minute. You're not changing your mind now." I looked at him and frowned as he changed his expression. "The secret weapon's for JC and Joey so put the face away. We're going in."
	"Chris…" he pleaded. "One minute. I'll count. One Mississippi…. Two Mississippi… Three Mississippi…"
	"Speaking of Mississippi, how do you think our rare albino is doing?" I started as I started pulling at Justin's arm. "Think they've gotten it out of him yet?"
	Justin shrugged. "I don’t know. Let's call him?"
	I sighed and slid out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I walked around to the other side and grabbed the handle, yanking the door open. "Okay, Justin, come on. I'm about to make a scene here." I bent down and grabbed him, pulling him half out of the car.  "We only have time for this if we do it now." 
	"Ow, ow, seatbelt!" he objected as he punched me in the shoulder several times.
	"Then take it off!" 
	He complied slowly.
	I sighed. I needed something. Some kind of bargain. Something… Something… I knew he wanted to do this. He just needed that extra push. "You wanna make a little deal?" I asked him gently. 
	Justin eyed me skeptically. "About?"
	"You coming in right now."
	He waited.
	"You can drive back," I said. "I'm swearing to you. You will be in the driver's seat of this Mercedes."
	"Serious?" His face lit up.
	"Yes, serious. But if there is so much as one scratch on the car, your ass is grass, little man." I took his arm. "Alright. Here we go. This is the police station. Nobody's in there but friends."
	"You're right. I'm being stupid." He slid out of the car and shut the door reluctantly. 
	I looked up at the sky. Thank you God…
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Sitting on the floor alone, I glanced around at the mostly empty arena. Then I remembered the food I had. I shoved my French fry into the small cup of ketchup and crushed it, smearing the red sauce on my hands. 
	I felt a hand on my back and looked up. Joey. 
	"Hey, man." He sat down cross-legged in front of me. 
	"Hey," I echoed as I searched for a napkin in the McDonald's bag. 
	He indicated the fry. "Stop taking your anger out on the poor defenseless food. I'll eat it if you don't want it."
	"Okay, eat it," I answered without looking up. I found a napkin and cleaned my hand off.
	He took a fry. "I was kidding. I want you to eat, JC."
	"Did you all finish already?"
	"All? Yep, all two of us finished. Lance is finding a bathroom. See, we eat food. We don't just stare at it and attack it."
	I laughed. "Shut up, Joey." 
	"What are you thinking about?" he replied, cocking his head to the side.
	I looked at Joey oddly for a moment but then shook my head, "Just that we're not going to have much to do tonight if Justin and Chris don't reappear." 
	"Have you called them again?"
	"No," I admitted. "Maybe I should but all I get from them are cutesy answers and no hints. And I don't know what to say to them anymore."
	"I have a lot of stuff I'm gonna say," he chuckled. "You can leave it to me if you want."
	"Joey…" I laughed.
	"Well, it's not fair of them to leave us hanging like this without a clue."
	"I think we have a clue where they are," I objected. "I mean, it's kinda hard to believe, but you know that they pulled it off."
	Joey shook his head smiling. "Who would've thought that Curly would have the guts? I would have put money against him."
	I shook my head. "Well, he's just proving me wrong. It has nothing to do with guts."
	"JC, it's not your fault. He hadn't even planned on mentioning it to us, remember? That's what he said. So your conversation wouldn't have made a difference. He'd already made up his stubborn mind about what he would do."
	I nodded. "I guess. And maybe it's the right thing to do."
	"Maybe, but we should've known about it."
	"Known about what?" Lance's voice sounded as he approached and sat down beside us.
	"Did you find the potty, Lancie?" Joey teased.
	Lance blushed. "Yes, dumbass. Hey, you still haven't finished eating, JC? Sheesh. I'm surprised Joey hasn't taken the food over."
	I laughed. "Nope. I'm taking my time."
	"AKA, he's staring off into space," Joey added.
	"Not surprised. So we should've known about what?" Lance persisted.
	"Well, JC and I are the we. Where Justin and Chris ran off to. You already knew," Joey replied.
	"Not for sure," Lance objected. "Maybe I should have told you guys, true. I'm sorry, but I was just keeping my word. And," he decided to lie, "I didn't know they would actually do it." 
	I frowned and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "And no one's saying that was wrong, Lance, to keep your word and all. You were right to do that." I started unwrapping a burger. "Just never let Justin tell you a secret plan of his."
	"I've fallen for it a couple times now," Lance laughed.
	I nodded. "Justin's deadly." 
	"What else should we know about, Scoop?" Joey asked jokingly.
	"Nothing…" Lance answered with a smile.
	"Oh, I know one," I answered sarcastically. "I definitely know one."
	Lance laughed. "No, you don't. What?"
	"The PS in the note," I began. "Return the ― "
	"Oh..." Lance began. "Oh, yeah...."
	"Well?"
	Lance frowned. "I can't." 
	"Come, Poofoo, what is it?" Joey persisted. "You can't just admit you know and not tell us. Think of the position Justin's put you in here…"
	Lance sighed. "You know already I'm sure. Return something." 
	It clicked and I groaned. "Alright, Lance, what of mine is missing?"
	"He told you to return whatever it was," Joey reminded. "So…? Return it already." 
	Lance rolled his eyes. "I can't. They're in his room. Or Chris's rather. I don't know how he expected me to get them."
	"Well, tell us what they are at least," I persisted. 
	He gave me a look.
	"It's mine, right?" I asked.
	He nodded. "Yep."
	I frowned. "Am I going to be upset?"
	"Aren't you already?"
	"I can sense a potential to be even more upset."
	"He took them by accident though," Lance continued. "He didn't know that's what it was. He was looking for something else."
	I felt myself getting nervous. What the hell was in my bag? Clothes? What? I couldn't think of anything else. Nothing incriminating at least.
	"Lance, just tell us already," Joey answered. "We're kicking Curly's ass anyway, so tell us now so we won't have to do it twice."
	"Maybe I already put it back... You'll never know..."
	"Bullshit. Come on and tell us already." 
	He laughed. "Fine. You'll find out eventually, and I'm tired of these secrets. Well, remember when Justin came in and you guys got into a scrap because he was looking in your bag for something he 'put in there'?" he started.
	I nodded. "Yeah. I knew he wanted something…"
	"Well, he was looking to see where you'd written down the police department's number. So basically he stole—or borrowed, I guess is the better word—every piece of paper in your bag. Notebooks, address books, the works…"
	I stared at him. "Are you serious? So all my stuff has been sifted through by Chris and Justin's grubby little prying fingers?"
	"Justin feels awful about it," he objected.
	"He doesn't know the meaning of awful yet," I replied. "Does he think I was just going to write random phone numbers all over everything? Why didn't he ask?"
	"So we wouldn't get suspicious," Joey replied.
	"But for God's sake… It wasn't even in my bag," I persisted. "He's such a fool. He ought to just ask. I'm tired of these games." 
	"Watch the French fries, JC!" Joey yelled with a laugh.
	I looked down to see I was squishing them in my fist. I rolled my eyes and let go. "Defenseless food. I know, Joey. I've gotta work on that." I sighed. 
	"You wouldn't have given him the number if he asked," Lance said. "You can't say that you would have."
	"I know... I know..." I admitted. "So what are we gonna do here? What time are we guessing they'll be back."
	"By the concert," Joey answered. "They'd better. Can you imagine? You know… Not even going to think about that. A couple thousand fans waiting outside… We have to tell them we're missing members. Go home if you want. We suck. Here's your money back. Yadda, yadda, yadda."
	I shook my head. "That's not going to happen," I replied stiffly.
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	So far so good. We got into the precinct. Asked at the main desk if Davis was in and where his office was… Go past some security and introduce ourselves again. We were walking towards his door now.
	So much was coming back to me… Being here before… The first time I'd come…
	I walked up the steps of the brick two-story building and pushed open the doors. Inside I was met with a foyer of sorts that looked pretty banal with a wooden bench here and a plant there. There were several doors. I was the only one there. I walked up to a glass window where a woman sat, smacking gun. She wore a black uniform and had frizzy red hair.
	"Hello. Can I help you?" she asked, looking up as I approached. She blew a pink bubble and it snapped loudly. 
	"Hi, um . . ." I don't know why she intimidated me. I guess it was just the atmosphere. "I'm doing a report for school about different, uh, procedures of law, and I was sort of wondering if you could give me some information?"
	"Okay, honey, what do you need?" She leaned back in her chair.
	"There's just a few questions I have . . ." I replied, gaining a little confidence. She was nice enough. "If a person were to witness a crime . . . say a murder, what do they do?"
	"Well, that person is required by law to come forward as a witness," she started. Then she frowned. "Shouldn't you be writing this down?"
	"I . . . I've got a photographic memory," I replied quickly.
	"Okay." She shrugged. "By law, if you witness something, you have to tell what you saw," she continued. "To help us catch the murderer and solve the crime; you know."
	"What happens then?" I asked. She gave me a funny look. "I mean, to the witness? I mean, won't the bad guys come after them?"
	"Well, that's why we've got a thing called the Witness Protection Program. If it's serious enough, they can be relocated and set up with a new identity with maybe even armed guards and such."
	"Oh . . ." I was disappointed. 	
	"Are those all your questions?" she asked.
	I looked up. "Yeah." I nodded. "Thank you."
	"Sure, anytime, kid. Good luck on your report." She smiled and turned back to some paperwork.
	I walked out in more despair then I'd walked in with. I looked at my watch. Oh well. I guess I'll be back early, I thought with a sigh. Great. 
	I was walking down the street when suddenly something hit me from behind—
	"Curly…"
	Why did this all have to come back? Why did this sick feeling in my stomach have to return?
	I HATE THIS.
	I blinked when I felt Chris's hand on my shoulder. I glared at him for a minute and then softened. It’s not his fault.
	"No spacing out allowed," he said.
	"I didn't space out."
	"No, you've only been staring at the door for five minutes."
	I rolled my eyes and reached out to knock. As I hesitated, Chris grabbed my wrist and forced me to knock, rolling his eyes.
	"Come in!" a voice inside hollered. 
	Chris reached for the knob and turned it, opening the door. "You gotta be the one to talk," he hissed in my ear. "Remember this is all for you." 
	I nodded and walked in. Sitting behind his desk was the same man I remembered. I tried to smile at him but I was really freaked out about being here again. I had no idea it would feel this weird. As he stood up I faltered but tried to act nonchalant.
	"Welcome back, Justin…" he greeted as he stuck out his hand and shook mine. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to see you again relating to this."
	"Me too," I answered ruefully. "Officer Davis, this is my friend Chris. He came with me."
	Davis smiled. "Please, call me Paul, Justin. Nice to meet you, Chris." He shook his hand as well. "Have a seat."
	Chris and I pulled the two chairs in the corner closer to his desk and there was a slight moment of silence. 
	"Now, as you probably already know, JC's called here several times," Davis started. "When he first mentioned that you'd gotten a few threats, I was really surprised. In fact, I still am. We definitely didn't expect that."
	"Neither did we," I answered.
	"Well, they always say to expect the unexpected." He smiled slightly. "Now, have you gotten any more notes?"
	"Not recently," I admitted. "I haven't found them yet at least."
	"And is it only notes? Any phone calls? I know last time you got a call…"
	"Only notes…" 
	He nodded. "But you haven't seen anybody? Nothing physical?" he persisted.
	"Only notes," I repeated. "That's it. But I thought it was over."
	"We all did," he answered. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. "However, there is the matter that we never were able to track down the two men involved. Why they would want to resurface is puzzling, but some people just like to make sure they get revenge…"
	"You think it's a matter of revenge?" Chris spoke up with a frown.
	"Well, revenge is the wrong word to use," he started. "That's too strong a word, I guess, especially not knowing all the details. But it's obviously involved with last time, so it's not a new 'stalker', pardon the term, I know it sounds worse than it is. So yes, 'revenge' is the only conclusion I can come up with."
	"Does that mean that they won't stop until they're satisfied?" Chris continued.
	Davis shrugged. "I can't get inside their minds. We had a profiler on the case, but there wasn't much they could come up with either. And the woman we do have incarcerated isn't much help. The names she gave us once were obviously fake."
	"I wanted to know whether… it would be possible…" I started slowly. "Possible for me to talk to her? Ask her a couple of questions..."
	Davis paused. He looked surprised. "Are you serious?"
	"Yeah."
	"I'm sure it's possible, but I don't think that would be very recommended. I have to admit that I'm surprised you asked," he started.
	"Why?" I objected. "I see her all the time anyway, this time I get to face it in person. I think it's the best thing to do."
	He nodded. "Alright. Maybe it is. I mean, there's no restraining order, there's no policy against visitors; I mean I can't legally stop you." 
	"Why wouldn't you think it's a good thing to do?" I began to get skeptical. This wasn't the same as the over-protective brothers telling me flat out no just because they didn't want me scared. Just because they didn't want to put up with the aftermath. This was a 'fine, if you want to' with a hint of something being wrong from an impartial person. It made me nervous. 
	"Well, a lot of reasons," he started slowly. "Not that there's anything wrong with it legally, like I said. Will you find out some information? Maybe. She might talk to you. However, from what we've observed, she seems protective of these two men so you might not. You could walk out with nothing. No huge problem there, but this woman is smart. She won't hesitate to try mind games with you. You know she did it before. Don't expect her to be friendly or receptive."
	I shrugged. "I can handle myself. I don't have to be friendly either."
	"AKA, act normal," Chris murmured. "Obnoxious."
	I smiled at him. 
	"I don't know if you understand what you might be walking into…" Davis frowned. 
	"Paul, I can handle it. I'm pretty sure."
	"Pretty sure isn't really good enough," he answered. "Justin, you never saw anybody after everything settled down, did you?" 
	"Saw anybody?" I frowned. "What do you mean?"
	"He means a shrink," Chris replied dryly. "No, he didn't."
	I frowned. I did not want that whole conversation again. There were a lot of times in my life people wanted me to 'talk to someone', from something as simple as my mother not thinking my childhood was nurturing enough to a variety of other reasons, including this mess.
	"Well, then this is still kinda raw, huh?" Davis persisted. "I'm not worried about you going in there, Justin. I'm worried about how you're going to come out."
	"I can handle myself," I repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time. "Are you not going to allow it?"
	"It's up to you, son. I just want to make sure that you can handle this."
	"Of course I can," I answered. He didn't know me. He didn't know what I could handle.
	He gave me a look but just nodded. 
:-:-:-:-:
	"This is the jail?"  Chris asked as we pulled up to the dark stone building. We'd taken Davis's squad car instead of our own because we needed him for clearance into the place and to see a prisoner.
	"Yep," Davis affirmed. "One of the biggest in these parts. We had her transferred here a couple months ago because it has higher security. She had her mind set on leaving a couple times, so we put her here."
	I swallowed as we got out of the car. "She tried to escape?"
	"Unsuccessfully, yes," Davis admitted. "Novice attempts that we see all the time. However, here she'll never get the opportunity."
	"It looks like a school," Chris continued as we walked towards to gate.
	"Yeah, my school was surrounded by barbed wire and electric fencing too," I replied sarcastically.
	"Aw, shut up."
	Davis stepped up the gate and slid a card and punched a few numbers. He waited a couple minutes and then the gate opened with a buzz. We walked in and he shut it behind us. When I heard the click of the lock behind us, I hesitated for a minute.
	Should I do this? Should I see her again? Should I start this all over?
	Everyone seemed so against it. Even Chris. Even though he'd come, it was as the companion, supporting my independence. Not because he thought it was a great idea. No where close.
	But I had to.
	She'd started it over. Or somebody had started it over. Not me. The victim.
	But was I going to come away different? I didn't think so. I couldn't think of how this was going to affect me any more than anything else. I wasn't going to be different. Least not worse. I could handle it. I was stronger than she was. She was behind bars. I was free. 
	"Curly-boy, you coming?" 
	I blinked and saw Chris ahead of me, realizing I had stopped walking. I felt like an idiot and was relieved to see Davis up ahead just talking to some guards with his back to us. 
	"Let me guess," Chris started. "We were 'just thinking'?"
	I smiled at him. "Yep." 
	"It's not too late to back out…" he started. "Even though we're here, we don't have to go any further. No one would think different."
	"I would," I answered, rolling my eyes. "I want to go in." I understand why he was being so cautious but his constant 'we can turn back' line was getting a little grating. We couldn't turn back. I would never forgive myself after coming this close.
	"Are you nervous?"
	"Yeah," I admitted. I looked up and saw Davis beckoning us. "Davis wants us, come on."
	Chris grabbed my arm. "Look, Justin, if you're going to be hurt by this, I don't want to go in there. This is supposed to help you. If it's not going to, it's pointless. So tell me now what you're 'thinking' about so I can decide."
	"I'm thinking the same stuff as you, Chris," I retorted. "So let's go."
	"Fine… I just hope we don't look back later like 'what the hell were we thinking'…"
	"We won't. Come on. You dragged my out of the car and I'm here. I thank you for that, but why the hell am I dragging you now?"
	He smiled forlornly. "Alright, Curly, let's go see what's up."  
 :-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	"Cancel it?" I exclaimed.
	"Yeah…" JC replied slowly. 
	"The whole show?" Lance asked.
	"No, half of it," JC answered sarcastically. "Yes the whole show."
	I stared down at the floor beneath us. We were sitting on the edge of the stage, watching the crew members around us. We couldn't exactly practice without Curly and Chris. It was half-assed.
	"What about all the fans?" I asked. "Most of them are probably already on their way here."
	"It's not too late to call it off. We could stick around and if any fans do show up, maybe just do a little meet and greet sort of thing… To make up for it," he continued. "I don’t know."
	"Well, I don't think any of that's necessary," Lance objected. "Chris and Justin will be back in time." 
	"How do you know, Lance?" I replied. "You can't be sure." I shook my head. "That's what makes me nervous. We can't even say, well we know they're on this flight, or this bus, because we don't know. We have no clue." 
	"No, but I'm almost positive," he persisted. "Just trust them. They wouldn't miss a show. Justin promised. And if it was him, Chris wouldn't allow it either." 
	"I do trust them," JC answered. "And I know they don't want to miss a show, but a lot of things aren't really in their control. Traffic for instance. And you know how those two are about wearing watches most of the time…"
	"Don't cancel," I spoke. "Not only might it be unnecessary, but Johnny'll have our heads. If he knew they were missing… Last time one of us ran off like this he threatened to replace the entire security staff." I laughed.
	"Which one of us did that?" JC frowned.
	Lance rolled his eyes. "Who do you think?"
	"It's always Justin." JC shook his head.
	"Only because when the rest of us go off, we're bright enough to go unnoticed," Lance answered. "When Justin goes it's a huge drama." 
	"Oh, yeah, Lancie?" I smiled at him. "Where have you been sneaking off to that we don't know about?" 
	"Don't I wish..." he replied. 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"Only him."
	"What?" I stared at Davis as I sat at the edge of my chair. We'd been sitting in this waiting room for about ten minutes while Davis talked to the security and got things ready for us. But now he came back with this news.
	"She said she'll talk, but only to Justin…" Davis answered. 
	"Well, sorry, we can't do that…" I looked over at Justin and he just looked quiet. He was gripping the sides of his chair with his hands and I could see his knuckles turning white. Jesus, he was scared shitless about this whole thing. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't I see it until now? This couldn't be good, could it? How could this whole thing be good? I was an idiot. 
	"Sure we can do it," Justin said softly. He cleared his throat. "I can do it. Where is she?"
	"Justin, come on," I objected. "Don't you want me with you?"
	"Yeah, but she said only me, Chris, and we're not just gonna walk away…" Justin answered. He met my eye for a brief instant. "Where is she?" 
	Davis sighed. "Down the hall second door on the right. It's a bit of a conference room. However, it's soundproof for the rights of the prisoner. A guard is outside the door, so when you want to leave, just press the buzzer by the door. Okay? They'll be surveillancing you the whole time."
	"Okay," Justin answered. 
	Davis nodded. "Take your time. I'll be right around the corner at the main offices for when you want to leave." He walked out of the room.
	Justin started to stand but I jumped up, and stood in front of him. "Listen."
	"No, Chris," he objected. "Don't. Not right now."
	He tried to walk around me but I pushed him against the wall, gently, keeping him cornered. "Tell me you're okay." I put a hand on his chest as he started to pull away again. "This isn't just pretend."
	I didn't like this whole thing. Why did I suddenly feel so nervous?
	"I’m okay." Justin frowned. "Let me go, Chris." His voice rose. 
	"If she says something to you that you don't like, you leave there," I insisted. "Don't play Mr. Tough Guy. Promise me you'll obey that."
	He nodded. "Okay already."
	"Say that you swear."
	"I swear," he murmured.
	"Okay." I patted his cheek. "Go then, I guess. You want this. I just don't like the idea of not being in there, but maybe it's better."
	"Don't be a JC," Justin teased.
	I laughed and let him go. "Okay, go ahead. I'll be right here."
	"Don’t break anything," he answered.
	"Oh, just go already."
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	"How would it sound if one of us took all of Justin's parts?" I started. "JC you could take both, right? Or Joey, but you'll have to do the high harmony for Chris."
	"We could do it…" JC answered. "It's just going to sound different. And the choreography's not going to look right. Nothing will be right. None of the fans would like it."
	"It wouldn’t be worth doing that," Joey objected. "Sure we could technically do it, but we'd ultimately suck. And Justin has all these little parts worked in too. Even if they're just little cutesy things, they take up time and without them things will be off."
	I sighed. "Just an idea."
	"Should I call again?" JC asked. 
	"How about Lance calls?" Joey suggested. "Justin seems to have accepted him as his confidante."
	I rolled my eyes. "I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time," I answered. "It has nothing to do with that." 
	"Call anyway," JC laughed. "Tell them if they're not back by six, we're canceling everything and they have to tell Johnny why." 
	"Okay," I agreed as I started backstage to where I knew there was an accessible phone. I pulled a chair up to it and sat tiredly. What a day. I dialed Chris's cell phone number and listened to it ring. 
	Two rings.
	"Hello?" came Chris's voice. I was slightly taken back by the edginess and heavy fatigue in his tone. 
	"Hey, Chris, it's Lance," I started gently. "I was told to see how you guys were doing. JC was dissuaded from calling because of last time." 
	"Has he cooled down at all?" Chris replied.
	"Oh, yeah," I affirmed. "He's just being a little distracted all day. He's getting worried sick over you two."
	"Or the concert rather," Chris answered. "Which we will be back for, you can tell him again."
	"Try to get back before six," I replied.
	"No problem."
	I frowned. "Chris, what's the matter? There's something in your voice."	
	"Well, I'm just getting a little anxious about Curly, that's all. Even though he's only been in there for about five seconds." He laughed dryly. He sounded more like he was going to cry.
	"In where, Chris?"
	"With that woman. God, we don't even know her name…"
	"Why aren't you with him?" I retorted. Suddenly my heart skipped a bat. "Chris…"
	"Don't give me that tone, Lansten. At least I came with him," Chris shot back. At my silence, he sighed. "I'm sorry. I've been glued to him up until this point so right now is kind of breaking me down. Because once we got to the prison, the woman refused to talk to Justin if he wasn't alone. So Justin, being the stubborn kid he is, agreed."
	"But how could you do that? Who knows what she'll say to him?" I groaned. 
	"I don't know, Lance. All I was thinking is that it's now or never and he has to get over this. He thinks this is the best way and I'm not going to disagree. I don't like the idea of it, but it's his decision. I'm not going to tell him what to do, and we're not finding anything out any other way." 
	"Do we need to?" I persisted. "Do we need to find out at all?" 
	"Don’t you think so?" Chris started. "Sure it's 'just a couple of notes' but to him it's not. To us it's not. And maybe nothing will ever happen. Maybe we'll never get another note. Maybe it's only a reminder but not a threat. But then there's that maybe it's not. And we can't take that chance. It'll be the one time we're not holding his hand. But he feels like this will help him put some closure to the situation, and he's old enough to make up his own mind." 
	I paused. "Chris, I know… I do understand that. I think we all feel that way, but… But is seeing his biggest nightmare really going to help him?" I remained skeptical. To me it seemed it was only going to bring back more bad memories.
	"Sometimes it does…" Chris answered slowly.
	"And other times?"
	"Let's stick with the sometimes."
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
 	I walked to the door. 
	The guard let me in.
	It was a plain room. Nothing much to distract. White walls. Wood floors. A couple of windows, bars across them. Simple table with several chairs on both sides. 
	And her.
	"And so we meet again." The menacing female voice made me look up.
	Same blonde hair. Piercing eyes. Her face looked drawn and her expression hard. She was in the standard prisoner uniform. I felt the instinct rise to turn back to the door. To get away. I had always run from her before, so why was I now coming to her? Why, why, why?
	"Won't you sit down?" she began, gesturing to the numerous chairs. "And please, do stop staring. You make me feel like there's something wrong with me."
	There is, I wanted to say. There is. You sicko. 
	She sighed and folded her arms over her chest as I took a seat across from her. "You don't want to sit next to me?"
	"No," I answered. I sat as still as I could. One hand gripped in the other. I wonder if she could tell I was shaking. Show no fear. You're in control, Justin.
	A smile spread across her lips. "And so he speaks… How's it feel to see me again, Justin? I've missed you. Ashley misses you. We all do."
	I started at her, narrowing my eyes. "You're sick."
	"Everybody's sick in their own little way…" she answered with a shrug. "I have no regrets. Thank you for leading me to this beautiful place, Justin. I don't think I ever got the chance to thank you." 
	"Well, you're welcome," I answered. "The uniform suits you."
	"I understand you wanted to ask me some questions?" She raised her eyebrows. "I feel so wanted. So important. I have information that you want. We have some of our own questions."
	I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Go ahead."
	"Really? I can go first?" She smiled. "What a gentlemen." 
	She stood up and I froze. I could feel my pulse start to race and my hands start to get clammy as the fears of yesterday came back. I felt the sickness I thought I'd ridden myself of come back in my blood. 
	She came around the table and stood behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders. So close to my neck. I felt myself shudder. I wanted to yell or hit her or at least get her off of me. Instead I was like stone. 
	"Justin Randall Timberlake…" she whispered. "I know so much about you. Is anything in your life a secret? And just think, you don't even know my name."
	"Why should I?" I answered. "It's useless information." 
	"How did it feel to watch them die?" she leaned in closer to me. I could feel her nails on me. 
	"Prisoner, step away to the other side of the table," came a loud voice through a speaker in the wall.
	"You're sick…" I told her. Don’t shake. Don't move. Don't let her know you're scared.
	"Do you want to join them?" she persisted, her hands sliding beneath my shirt to touch my skin. 
	"N-No…" I replied. I could feel her nails on me. Why was I here?
	"No?" she answered. "Why not, Justin? And loosen up.. .You're so tense…" Her hands slid to my shoulder blades and I pushed my chair back and jumped up. I couldn't stand it.
	She laughed at me. "What? That didn't feel good?"
	"No, it didn't," I answered sharply. 
	"Prisoner," the speaker voice repeated firmly. "Take a seat or you will be removed from the room." 
	She walked over calmly to the other side of the table again and sat back down. I reclaimed my seat as well and watched the way she rested her hands on the table.
	"Ashley has a question…" she began again.
	"What?" I frowned. 
	"Ashley. She has a question for you."
	"Shut up, okay? That's not funny."
	"I know it's not." She turned around, eyes sparkling. "She wants to know why you let her die. Why you ran away."
	I shook my head. This wasn't why I was here. I was here to ask her the questions. I was here to get my own closure. Not to let her talk.
	But she continued. "Why did you leave her in the hospital, Justin? She had no other visitors." 
	"I said shut up."
	"Why didn't you go to her funeral? Why don't you ever talk to her?" she persisted.
	I slammed my fists against the table. I couldn't deal with this. This wasn't why I was here. Not to bring up that little girl. That defenseless little girl. "Shut up! Shut up!"
	"Didn't you care enough to go to her funeral? She thought she was important to you… And you've never even been to her grave… Do you even know where it is?"
	"Why won't you shut up? Is that all you do here? Make up lies?!" I exclaimed, feeling the heat within me rise. But I refused to break. I clenched my fists.
 	"Why? Huh, Justin? Why did you leave her?" she asked simply. "That's all she wants to know…"
	"Ashley is dead. She doesn't want to know anything," I answered.
	"I know she's dead. You killed her."
	"You killed her, you asshole! Don't start with me."
	"I haven't started with you yet. These are her questions…" she answered and sighed as if she were bored. 
	I took a deep breath and met her eyes. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to strangle her. Feel my hands around her neck and choke the life out of her. See her blood on my hands instead of Ashley's. That was something I dreamed about.
	"You have a very sweet family, Justin." She drummed her fingers on the table as I glared at her. "What, don't you think so?"
	"What do you know about my family?" I answered.
	"That they're very sweet. Darling brothers. Eric says your mother's beautiful…"
	"Eric?" I demanded.
	"Oh, dear, you don't remember Eric? He was with me when we first saw you and Ashley. Dark hair? Distinguishable nose?" She smiled. "Great guy… Anyway, yeah, he thinks your mother's very pretty. She looks a lot like you.
	"Go to hell…"
	"I haven't seen her myself of course…" she answered with a sigh. "But Eric promised to bring a picture back of her. When he gets closer. Your brothers too." 
	"Stay away from them…" I answered stiffly. "If you get within a hundred feet of them so help me God…"
	"It's not me." She shook her head. "I just get my phone call once in a while. Tell me, what accent is that your mother has? When she answered the phone… I knew this. Something like… You're from Tennessee, right?"
	I swallowed, trying to down my anger that was boiling inside of me. I was ready to jump out of my chair. "You called her?"
	"I had to hear her voice… Eric's told me so much about her. There's one thing we need to know, though…" she continued, a small smile forming that I wanted to rip off her face. "Our question. Your darling baby brothers. Would they get in the car if someone asked them to? Perhaps if we told them mommy or daddy was hurt?"
	"What did you just say?" I whispered.
	"Or maybe if we say that we have a puppy. Or better yet, that their brother wants to see them… Yes, they barely see you, isn't that right? Big brother is so busy. Sad… We'll just tell them you're waiting for them. That's easy. They're young. Defenseless. Stupid. Like Ashley." 
	With a cry, I leapt out of my chair and dove across the table, my hands grabbing her neck and pushing her back. Her chair fell backwards and we toppled to the ground. She was stronger than I had remembered. She tried to fight back but all I could think of was my brothers. My mother. This man watching them. 
	"Get off of me you brat!" she snapped as she grabbed the front of my shirt and tried to flip me off her. My hands were tight around her neck and I clenched them. 
	"You're sick, you're sick, you're sick!" I yelled as I started shaking her, gripping her neck. 
	Her face was turning red. Her stringy hair was messed up. She was squeezing my sides as hard as she could and it hurt like hell but I didn't let go. 
	"Die!" I yelled at her. "You're the one that should've died!"
	Then suddenly arms wrapped around my waist and I was pulled up off the ground. I didn't let go of her neck yet until other hands grabbed my wrists and wrenched my grip off. The arms around my waist got tighter as I tried to kick out at the woman lying on the ground. Her eyes were closed momentarily and then she looked up at me. I could see the imprints of my hands on her neck. Two guards were coming up behind her with handcuffs. I tried to pull free as whoever it was, some guard most likely, started dragging me out of the room. I was able to kick a couple chairs over.
	"Stop," the man carrying me hissed in my ear. "Unless you want to be restrained, stop resisting." 
	I fell slightly limp in his arms and stared at the woman being handcuffed. I was in the doorway now. Her eyes never left mine. I flipped her the finger and then my wrist was caught again. I looked up and followed the arm to see Chris. I shook my arm out of his grasp. 
	"What are you doing?" he hissed. Then he looked at the guy holding me. "I'll take him now. You can let him go. We're leaving, is that okay?"
	"More than okay," the man answered dryly. I felt his arms unwrapping and stood up straighter. I was still pissed. I was burning inside. I was feeling every emotion possible and sicker than ever. I still wanted to get my hands on that woman. Still wanted to kill her. And have no regrets. Just like her. I didn't care that Chris looked like he was going to slaughter me. I noticed Davis at the end of the hall with his arms crossed. I didn't care. I wanted to go back in that room. I wonder what my sides looked like. Probably just red. But she'd had quite a grip… and so did that man. 
	"Justin," Chris said stiffly, "come on." He took my arm.
	I cast a look back at Davis as Chris started dragging me. He'd blended back in with the other security. I watched the woman start coming out of the room and made myself stiff and heavy so that Chris couldn't move me. I started to pull back. 
	"What do you think you're doing?" Chris answered as he grabbed me around my waist and arm. "What is wrong with you?" 
	I grunted and pushed him away. I just wanted to see…
	Davis was approaching us. "Ready to go?" He looked at me icily.
	"As soon as Justin remembers how to walk, yes," Chris replied. "I'm sorry for all this. I didn't know this would happen. Sorry for any trouble."
	"Usually it's the prisoner jumping the visitor," Davis answered wryly. "They're used to this kind of thing. Don’t worry about them. Worry about him." He indicated me as he frowned. "Justin, calm down, you hear me?" 
	"He just needs to cool off a little," Chris answered dryly. "Justin, let's not make any more of a scene. Want that other guy to carry you out to the car? Come on."
	 I pulled away from them and started walking towards the exit. "I'm sorry, Paul," I said loudly as we left.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"That was weird…"
	I looked up at Lance's voice and noticed the peculiar look on his face. "What's weird? How are they doing?" 
	He sat down with Joey and me and shook his head. "Well, I talked to Chris and he said that they'll be back before six no problem. So don’t worry about the show. And apparently Justin is going to talk to that woman."
	"No…" Joey groaned. "That's the worse thing possible."
	"Well, I wouldn't think so to begin with, but he's doing it alone," Lance continued.
	"Alone?" I replied in surprise. "Is Chris crazy? I'm going to have to kill both of them now. I can't believe they're doing this…" I wrung my hands together.
	"Was that the weird part?" Joey asked. 
	Lance shook his head again. "No, the way Chris got off the phone was. He was like 'talk to you later. Justin's freaking out' and then he hung up the phone…"
	I paused and started chewing on a hangnail. "What's that supposed to mean? He's 'freaking out'. What's that mean?" 
	"I don't know." Lance shrugged. "I have no idea."
	"Did Chris sound upset?"
	"He sounded upset from the beginning," Lance replied. "I don't know. Something happened but I don't know what."
	"This is ridiculous. Why did they have to do this?" I groaned. "Every time he does something like this… I mean, him running off was what started this whole ordeal. It's what got him to be a witness…" 
	"They'll be back soon, chill…" Lance answered.
	"He's fine," Joey assured. "It's probably so stupid. Freaking out doesn't imply bad necessarily. Maybe Curly saw a mall. Or a McDonald's. Just got attacked by a fan. Looked in a mirror and saw his fro acting up. Who knows."
	I smiled slightly. "Maybe…"
	"You know it's something like that," Lance agreed. 
	I shrugged and sighed, trying to keep the smile but it faded. "I'll just be happy when all five of us are at this concert and we can forget about today."
	"Yeah, me too,"  Joey affirmed. Lance nodded.
	 I thought for a moment and looked at them. "Guys, you don't think they'd really let him see her, do you? I mean, he's just a kid, they're not going to let him in to see a murderer, right?"
	"He's got Chris with him," Lance answered. "And from how Chris was talking, they were letting him."
	"They probably figure 'oh, here's chance for us to get some information too'," Joey added. 
	I sighed. "Oh well. Nothing we can do now." 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	I didn't know what was the matter with Justin. I hadn't heard him talk since before he went in with that woman. That bitch. I don't know what she said to him or what she did to him, but all of a sudden when I was talking to Lance, I hear people start yelling and I hear Justin's name so I ran over to see what was going on. And he's in there strangling the woman like he wanted to kill her. I'd never seen him like that before.
	He refused to walk into the police department. Didn't say anything to us, just went to sit on a bench near where our car was parked. I think he was scared of being arrested if he went in because of what he'd done. Davis had called and asked me to go in to talk with him for a minute, so casting one last look at Justin, I agreed.
	Once in his office, he started fumbling around his desk as he spoke. "I’m going to give you two numbers," he said slowly. He got a piece of paper and started writing. "I don't know if Justin got any information…"
	"Somehow I doubt it," I replied. 
	"Likewise," Davis answered. "I don't think my warning was enough for him. I had an inkling that something like that was going to happen…" 
	"I didn't." I shook my head. "I'm sorry. He doesn't usually act up like that… Physically, I mean. She must've said something."
	Davis nodded. "I'm sure she said a lot of things. Try to talk to him and see how he is. But, here's my number and below it is a psychiatrist." He met my eye. "For any of you. I'm not recommending it. I'm not saying he needs it. I don't know. But it's an option if anyone think it's necessary." 
	I took it and put it in my pocket, the whole idea ludicrous to me. I thanked Davis and shook his head one last time before leaving his office and returning outside. I walked down to where Justin was and found him in the same exact place. 
	I stood in front of him and waited for him to do something. Laugh at me, push me, whatever. 
	He didn't move. I wasn't sure he even knew I was in front of him. His eyes were open… but he had this glazed over look. 
	"We're going home," I told him. I frowned and tapped him on the head. He turned his gaze up at me. "Justin… I’m leaving. You can sit here if you want, but it's a long walk to the hotel."
	He stood up and I started walking to the driver's side when I remembered my promise. I honestly didn't really want him to drive, but oh well, who was I to take back a promise? I was ready and going to hand the keys over, but he ignored it and walked to the other side of the car.
	With a shrug, I simply unlocked the car. He got in the passengers side and leaned into the back to grab his baseball cap, which he readily shoved onto his head. 
	"You want to tell me what you were thinking to do something like that?" I demanded quietly as I turned the key in the ignition. I didn't want to sound angry, wasn't even sure if I really was. I didn't know what I felt. He reached for the radio but I slapped his hand away and shut it off. "No radio."
	There was silence and I looked over to see him looking out the window, the side of head rested against the back of his seat.  
	"Seatbelt," I reminded.
	He sighed and pulled it across himself, buckling it. Then he returned to looking out the window.
	"What'd I do?" I started. "Did I hurt you somehow?"
	He shook his head.
	"Don't you want to talk about it?" I persisted. "That was a big deal, going in there." 
	He shook his head again. 
	"Okay…" I answered. "Then let's go home, huh? We have a concert, remember. You still up to that?"
	"Can we…" he started softly and his voice got caught. He cleared his throat. "Can we stop at the graveyard while we're here?"
	So he speaks. With a request.
	I glanced at the clock and remembered our flight time. "What graveyard? No, Justin, I don't think so. Is it that necessary? We have to get to the airport."
	He fell silent again and turned to the window again. 
	"Justin, I wish you would quit this act and start talking to me…" I started, raising my voice a notch to let him know I wasn't kidding. "I don't even know if it's dawned on you what you did back there. You're lucky you're with me because I'm pretty lenient, but my God, Justin… I'm surprised Davis didn't lay you out himself."
	"She didn't die," he answered to the window. "I wanted to kill her."
	I stared at him in shock. "Justin… Come on."
	"Why the hell didn't she die?" He kicked the glove department and I noticed his tears. "If I'd had one more second with my hands on her neck… Just one more second." 
	"You better stop saying that," I began. I was in shock. "Do you know what you did was wrong? It doesn't matter who that is, you don't do that to somebody."
	"Fuck that. Her not dying was wrong," he cried as he clenched his hands into fists.
	"Justin, stop it," I retorted. "Just shut up, and think about what you're saying for a minute. It was wrong."
	"Either way." He shook his head, as though frustrated that I couldn't understand what he meant and why he had done it. "Fine. I didn't do it then. She deserves to die," he answered forcefully. He ducked his head and the brim of his hat hid his face. He held his hands out in front of him like they were still around her neck and stared at them. "Why didn't it work?" 
	I took his wrist. I didn't know what to do. I'd never heard him be like this before. Never heard him hate somebody so much. Never heard him this mad. Justin was never violent, and usually so easy going. It took a lot to get him seriously angry. 
	I squeezed his wrist. "You attacked a woman, Justin."
	"She should've died."
	"Why?"
	"Why? Because she killed her and I didn't, Chris." He paused and shook his head. "That lady… You know, I didn't do it. I didn't do anything."
	"Yeah, you did," I answered in confusion. "Everybody saw it…"
	"No!" he wailed. Again, something I wasn't understanding. "I didn't though. I didn't." 
	I could suddenly tell we weren't going anywhere for a while. I took off my seatbelt and pushed the armrest between us up so I could slide over on the seat closer to him. "Justin…" I started. "Hey, listen." I slid an arm around him but he was stiff.
	"I didn't do it," he persisted. "She's completely wrong about that. I visited her. I stayed with her. I couldn't go to her funeral but that wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. Didn't she know that? How can she use that against me? But I was with her… I didn't leave her…"
	I struggled to know who he was talking about. The child that had died… Ashley. It had to be her. Now I understood the grave comment. What had that crazy lady in prison said to him about her?
	"Justin, she knows that. She's in heaven now," I said softly. "Why are you bringing her up again?"
	"Because I think I killed her…" he sniveled and then shook his head. He pushed away my arm, irritated. "Don't touch me, Chris. Just drive. We don’t have to go there."
	"We'll go." I sighed. I would feel like a complete asshole if we didn't go to the grave now. He did that sometimes, got emotional so you'd feel bad enough to get him what he wanted, but this was different. This was serious. "We just have to make our flight, that's all. You know that, right?"
	"Yeah, I don't want to miss the concert," he said dimly.
	"If I speed we'll get there," I joked. But once again he'd become silent and turned to the window.
	I slid back to my seat. I knew there was more bothering him than just Ashley. I knew something else had been said. I felt a hardness within me form and I wanted to get out of the car and get a few punches into that woman myself. Instead I put on my seatbelt and started to pull out of the spot. 
	She'd hit a nerve. I'd always had a protective instinct over Justin. Hell, we all did. He was the youngest. As the baby everyone had always been inclined to take care of him. So now that that woman had said stuff to him while he was vulnerable and made him think that everything that had happened was his fault… I couldn't stand it. And I knew there was even more than this that he was thinking about. I wanted to know what it was that she'd said that had made him attack her. 
	I gripped the steering wheel tighter and glanced over at him. He was wiping his eyes and cheeks with the sleeves of his shirt. 
	"Where is this place?" I asked, clearing my throat. "Do you remember? Joey took you, I know…"
	"Joey got lost," he answered. His voice was stronger. I didn't like that. He was hiding something. This was going to be like last time, pretend it was all okay. "But… take a right here."
	I put on my directional signal and pulled into the right lane. I kept glancing at the clock. "You sure?"
	"I think. I'll be just a second, I swear," Justin said softly. 
	"Take all the time you need," I answered. After all, concerts were secondary to mental health right? It wasn't like we could just come back here whenever we wanted. "Okay, I see a sign actually. I think it's just up this street."
	"I remember this road…" Justin started, voice trembling.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	"Oh damn…" I muttered as I looked at the entrance of the arena. Lance, JC, and I had been sitting on the edge of the stage, mostly quiet as crew members hurried around and one of the opening acts did a microphone check. The worried, unsure look on our faces now seemed permanent.
	"What?" Lance asked. 
	JC was lying flat on his back with his eyes closed. "Tell me it's Justin and Chris please…"
	"Nope," I answered. "It's Johnny."
	"Oh damn is right," JC muttered back, rolling onto his side. "I'm going to bed."
	"He's smiling at least," Lance noted as he studied the black man from a distance. "He's not mad about anything to begin with so that's good."
	"And he doesn’t know yet," JC added.
	"He's not going to know," I answered. I waved at  the approaching man and exclaimed, "Hi, Johnny!" 
	He walked up to the stage and rested his hands on the surface. "How come you guys aren't getting ready? JC, you alright, son? You look tired."
	"He's always tired," Lance replied.
	JC sat up and smiled. "I'm great. Just relaxing before the big show." 
	"Relaxing is good." Then Johnny frowned. "Where's Chris and Justin?"
	A slight moment of silence passed among us, but I cleared my throat and not look worried. "Well," I said, "Well, Justin, he forgot his bandana and made a big deal about it so Chris went with him to run back to the hotel and get it. They should be back soon."
	"Wardrobe has enough bandanas to keep him happy for a year," Johnny objected. "Are you for real?"
	"This was a 'special' bandana, Johnny," I persisted. "Lucky or something. You know how Justin gets. So fickle."  
	Johnny shook his head. "Sometimes I don't with that boy… As long as they're back soon. Excited about tonight?"
	"Of course." Lance grinned. "Supposed to be a big crowd." 
	Johnny nodded. "And we opened up several sections near the far side of the stage too that originally weren't sold." He pointed to the upper tier sections to the side of the stage. "Great, huh? So it's even bigger." 
	"Great…" JC answered with fake enthusiasm. The three of us exchanged a look.
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	We went to the graveyard but I didn't stay long. Chris asked if I wanted to be alone and I said yes, but then I regretted that because I just kept thinking about him sitting in the car. I'm sure he was nervous about the concert too. But I got to talk to Ashley and apologize for not coming by more often and that I was sorry that I had let her down. There was a lot on my mind that I tried to get out as quickly as I could, knowing we were probably running behind schedule. 
	Then Chris and I went to the airport. I was kind of upset after that and felt really sick to my stomach about the whole thing, but I did all I could not to cry because I knew that Chris would feel bad if I did. So we got to the airport and got our tickets and boarding passes settled and were soon on the plane. We had made it. As soon as the engines started up, I fell asleep at my window seat. It felt like I'd been asleep for maybe five minutes when I felt Chris shaking my arm.
	I opened my eyes and stared at him tiredly. "What?" I asked, leaning my arm on the tray down in front of me. I looked around and found the eyes of all the other passengers in my view were staring at me. Did they recognize us? Why were they staring?
	"Why are people looking at me?" I whispered, shifting closer to Chris as I felt uncomfortable. Even he was looking at me weird.
	"Because you were screaming," he answered plaintively. 
	"I was not." I narrowed my eyes. "I was sleeping."
	"I know. But you started saying 'don't touch them, don't touch them' really loudly…" Chris answered. 
	I looked up at the people again, but most of them had turned back to do whatever it was they'd been doing. I felt myself blushing. "I did?"
	"Yeah. What's that about? Don't touch who?"
	I buried my face in my arms. "I can't believe I did that…" I moaned. I took off my hat and rubbed at my hair with a sigh. 
	"Justin…" Chris persisted. "Don't touch who?"
	"I don't know," I lied. "I didn't even know I was dreaming."
	He frowned at me. "You sure?" 
	"Yeah." I nodded and looked out the window. "Are we almost there?"
	He nodded. "Yep. They should be announcing our descent in soon."
	"Cool," I answered, trying to smile and not show him I was about to cry. I saw the woman and moaned to myself. Go away…
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	A quarter to six. A quarter to six.
	Where were they? Johnny would have a fit. If he walks into the dressing room now, oh God… I wouldn't even know what to tell him. Especially since Joey had already given such a poor excuse. Stubborn as he could be, Justin would never do that over a bandana. 
	Lance and Joey were playing pool. I couldn't concentrate on any games. I was having a hard enough time concentrating on breathing as I sat on the couch. I listened to their carefree banter at one another and it calmed me somewhat, but then I would think to myself, how could they be that calm? and it would make me more nervous.
	Then as soon as I swore we were all over and that Johnny would come in hollering any second, the door opened and Chris and Justin walked in. 
	I sat up and glared at them. I was more glad that they were back than annoyed, but the whole running off with an agenda that the rest of the group didn't know about bothered me. "Both of you get over here," I ordered quickly before they could move. 	
	Chris walked over but Justin turned away and went to the farthest side of the room from me and sat down heavily on the floor. He started to pull off his shoes. 
	"Justin," I started but caught Chris's eye. He shook his head and took a seat next to me.
	"If you're about to blame anybody, then blame me," he said in a low voice. "I'm warning you, do not yell at him."
	I glanced over at Justin, taking off his shoes in the corner. "Why not? I'm sure it was his idea. What happened?" 
	Chris set his jaw. "A lot."
	"What's wrong?" I narrowed my eyes. "Chris, what were you thinking, taking him somewhere like that? That should've been a group decision and—"
	"No," he interrupted. "It was his decision, JC. Get over that group thing. There are some things that are group decisions, and other things we need to do for ourselves."
	I shook my head. "No. Not something like that… No."
	"Well, it's over," he answered.
	"Is it over for him?" I pointed at Justin and noticed he was looking at us. I lowered my hand and spoke quieter. "What happened, Chris?"
	"I don’t think now is the time to—"
	"What the hell happened, Chris? Tell me," I demanded. 
	"I don't even know. I can't really get into details. What time is it? I mean, he cracked," Chris answered. "I don’t really even know. The woman would only talk to him, and he agreed. There wasn't much I could do. He promised me he'd leave if she said or did anything to him. I told him no at first, JC, don’t give me that look."
	"What look?" I answered incredulously. I wasn't even aware I'd changed expressions. I was just frowning.
	"That disappointed look," he answered. He kept his voice low. "I don't even know what happened, man. Just one second and then I heard a big commotion—I'd been on the phone with Lance—so I go over to the room they're in. I don't know what he was thinking or what she did, but they were on the ground and the security was trying to get Justin up because he was strangling her. JC, he said he was trying to kill her."
	I rolled my eyes. "Don’t be ridiculous." My voice shook slightly and I glanced over at Justin again. I wasn't really believing any of it. I couldn't even believe he'd even seen the woman again. It all seemed surreal…
	"Well, it's for real, JC," Chris answered. "In the car he was upset and I asked why, and he says 'cause he hadn't killed her."
	"Are you sure?" I frowned. This was the same sweet Justin that had done that? I didn’t understand… "Like he attacked her?"
	"Yes, I'm sure. He scared the shit out of me. He had his hands out and he was asking why she didn't die. Why he hadn't gotten one more second to choke her…" he continued quietly.
	"Enough, enough. Well, what did you say to him? Did you obviously say that was wrong?"
	Chris nodded. "Yeah. Of course, but he said that he was right and her not dying was wrong."
	"Well, did you straighten him out?" I demanded, my voice raising a bit, though unintentionally. 
	He shrugged. "He calmed down. I don't know. What was I supposed to do? She told him all this shit that he believed. I don't know what. He walked in there gullible and I guess she knew the right things to say. Just like everyone warned him."
	I frowned. "Like what?"
	"I don’t even know." He sighed. "JC, I'm sorry for what we did but I think it was worth it."
	"Worth it?" I echoed. "How can it be worth it?" I hissed. "You haven't told me anything that makes it sound worth it. Oh, it turned the baby of the group into an attempted killer." 
	"He was just upset. I told you, he calmed down. Does he look like a killer? Since the plane, since the ride here, he's been fine. Just quiet but fine." 
	We both glanced over to Justin where he had crawled under the pool table and was concentrating on tying Lance and Joey's shoes together as they stood arguing about a shot. Joey kept shifting from foot to foot so Justin had a very determined but exasperated look on his face.
	"No…" I answered with a fond smile. "Not at all. Are you making up all this? He looks fine…"
	"Why would I make this up?"
	"Wishful thinking I guess. I'm just having a hard time dealing with, I don't know…" I admitted. "You two had us really freaked out, that's all…"
	"I figured from how you sounded on the phone," Chris answered with a smile.  
	"I'd had this whole big disappointed speech planned…" I persisted. "Huge thing. About how we could've missed the show, and whatever. And I just forget it entirely."
	"Well, needless to say I'm relieved," Chris answered. 
	I laughed. "I'm sure." After a moment of watching Justin, I frowned. "Should I talk to him?" 
	"He wouldn't talk to me. Literally. He just clammed up," Chris answered. "But go ahead and try if you feel like being frustrated."
	"Did she hurt him at all?" I asked as I started to get up.
	"Physically?" Chris shrugged. "He hasn't said anything, I told you. I think he was the physical one."
	I stood for a second, unsure. "Okay." As I walked over, I wondered how I was going to get him out from under the pool table. I saw that he had resorted to tying just Lance's shoelaces together. Shouldn't take too long… 
	I stood at the edge of the table waiting for him and motioned to Lance to look down. He did and just rolled his eyes, not saying anything. At least he knew. We couldn’t have him tripping and busting his face or something before a concert. I laughed as Lance started walking and moving his feet a lot. 
	There was a knock at the door and we looked up to see Johnny walking in. "Hey, guys," he greeted. "Just making sure you guys are all finally together and set. Where's Justin?"
	Oh, thank God he chose now and not ten minutes ago…
	I looked down as Justin backed up into my leg and came out from under the table. He stood up. "Hey, Johnny," he said. 
	"Oh, there you are," Johnny answered, a little stiffly. "That disappearing act was pretty uncalled for back there. You can't just leave like that. Come on, Justin."
	Justin stared at him with horror and fear on his face. I could tell he was trying to figure out what Johnny knew and whether we had told him anything. It was pretty funny actually since Johnny was really just talking about a bandana.
	"And, Chris, come on…" Johnny persisted as he turned to look at the other man. "You know better; going along with something like that… Justin, I'm disappointed. Did you get what you wanted?"
	Justin froze. "Um… Yes, sir," he spoke unsteadily.
	"Bandanas aren't that important," Johnny answered. "Pick and choose your battles. We have press here. Well, I'll let you guys be. I'm expecting a great show tonight, like always."
	We all nodded. The look on Justin's face was priceless. Johnny left, shutting the door behind him.
	"Bandana?" Chris asked with a laugh. "What the hell? I was like 'oh, shit!' and then he goes 'bandanas aren't that important'." He lowered his voice to sound like Johnny. 
	"That was our excuse for you guys," Joey answered. "We had to think fast so we said Curly needed a bandana. You went with him."
	"Genius." Chris smiled.
	Justin had returned to his seat on the floor, reaching to pick up his sneakers, and so I walked over to sit across from him. I stretched my legs out as he drew his up. 
	"So…" I started.
	He stared straight ahead, jaw set. "Let's not do this now..." he sighed, looking over at Joey and Lance at the pool table. 
	All right… So is this what Chris warned me about? "Do you think I'm going to yell at you?" I asked.
	He nodded and brought a hand to his mouth, chewing on a nail.
	I paused. "I'm not… I promise." 
	He shrugged. 
	I frowned. "Would you rather I did?"
	He started to get up and I grabbed his arm. "Can you talk?" I pushed him back down. "Are you going to sing tonight? Or what are we doing here?"
	"Sing," he answered.
	"You'd better." I looked at him and couldn't understand… "Want to tell me where you went off to today?"
	He took a deep breath and sighed, glancing over at the pool table and then over at Chris. He kept his eyes on Chris. Then he shook his head. "JC..." 
	"I already talked to Chris," I answered. "And he told me you weren't going to talk to me about it. But I didn't believe him. You always talk to me…" I tapped the rim of the hat he was wearing. "Right?" He was silent and I just sighed. "Why won't you talk to me, Curly boy? What'd I do?"
	"Nothing," he answered.
	"Then why won't you even look at me?"
	He turned his head and stared at me. Then he shifted forward and crawled closer so that our foreheads were nearly touching. "I'm looking at you," he replied. "There." 
	I laughed at him. "Justin… Okay, stop already…"  I tried to push him away from me but we were still face to face. 
	"I'm looking, I'm talking, you're still not happy," he persisted.
	"Well, you're not saying what I want," I answered. 
	"What do you want?"
	"For you to tell me what happened today," I answered. His eyes drifted and I frowned. "I know where you went, I know who you saw... What did she say to you? Chris said that you tried…" I hesitated, unable to say it. "Or that… that you wanted to…"
	"Kill her," Justin replied smoothly. He backed off my legs entirely and sat. "I wanted to kill her. Is that what he told you?" 
	I looked at him, incredulous and horrified. "Justin, that's sick."
	"This is why I don't want to talk to―"
	"Talk to me?" I finished. "What, you don't see anything wrong with that? What you just said."
	He scrambled back from me and slid back under the pool table, crashing into Joey and Lance's legs as he did so. 
	"Um, excuse me?" Joey started as he crouched down to peer under the table. "Curly?" 
	"Whatever. Leave him alone," I replied. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	"You're sick… You're sick…" I murmured to myself. I felt a little silly under the pool table like this, like a little kid, but there'd been no where else to go. This room wasn't big enough for me to be anywhere by myself, and we were so late already there was no way I could wander the halls for air or go anywhere to relax.
	I didn’t understand… Every time they asked me what I'd done or what I was thinking, and I told them, they became horrified. I didn't get it. I wasn't sick. She was. She was. I told them the truth and suddenly I was sick. I was wrong. I shouldn't think like that. I would hear that 'they told me so' from the beginning and how wrong I was.
	Well, I was glad I went, I was glad for once I had the upper hand over her. So tough for them. And I was right. They didn't understand. They never did. 
	So why waste my time? Why try to explain? It wasn't between them and me. It was between me and her. And until I could get my hands around her neck again… Until then it wouldn't be over. They didn't understand last time and I didn't expect them to understand this time either. 
	I wanted to call my mom and my brothers and Paul and the rest of my family and tell them. Tell them to move even. To be careful. Don't be stupid. Lisa, watch Jon and Steve. There's someone after them.
	Them. Why them? It was me. Why them suddenly? 
	"You're sick…" I persisted to myself quietly. I liked that feeling of being on top of her, my hands around her neck, seeing her helpless. Seeing her wanting me off of her. Seeing her try to scream. It was a situation unlike the others. She was sick. She was. She was so sick. So demented. I couldn't even possibly reason why God had created somebody like her. And Eric. Ugh.
	I snapped back to reality when somebody grabbed my ankles and started pulling. I recognized the sleeve of Chris's shirt and rolled my eyes, reaching to seize his hand. 
	"Come on out, Curly, we're going to wardrobe," he said as he came down on his hands and knees. He looked around me. "Nice little spot you picked out. Are you five years old?"
	"Shut up," I answered irritably.
	"I'm not making fun of you…" he objected. "Well, actually..."
	"JC said I'm sick…" I started after I noticed that the other guys had left the room.
	Chris frowned and stood up. He offered me his hand. "I don't think he'd say that… Why would he say something like that?"
	"Because I told him the truth. I'm not going to talk anymore." I put my hand out and let Chris pull me up. "That's the whole problem. That's why I couldn't tell them even where I was going." 
	"Oh, don't say that…" he answered. "Want me to ask him what he meant?"
	"No," I declined. "Leave it alone. I don't want to do all this he said she said stuff again."
	"Who's the she?"
	"You know what I mean, asshole."  
	"Did you tell him about the fight with the woman, is that what it was about?" Chris persisted as we started out of the room. 
	"I just said that she should've been the one that died," I answered with a shrug as we started out of the room. "I don’t see what the whole big deal is, but he got this look on his face… Sorta like the one you're getting now…" I broke off. Not Chris too…
	"I'm not getting any look," he answered. "No look." 
	I just shook my head, losing all faith I had in even explaining it to him. "How long?"
	"How long what?" he replied. "Till the show? First opening act goes in one hour. That what you wanna know?"
	"Yeah. An hour is good."
	"Yeah." He patted me on the back. "We had plenty of time for this daytrip." 
	I could tell he was being facetious.
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	JC had this pained look on his face as we left the dressing room to go to wardrobe. We all basically had an inkling about what. Joey and I had remained silent when Justin and Chris came back, figuring that JC wanted to and could handle it on his own. Apparently he couldn't by looks of it now. He'd spoken to Chris and then gone over to Justin… I don't really know what happened.
	"Why are you both so upset, man?" Joey asked as he laid an arm around JC's shoulders once we reached the room with our costumes.
	"Because something happened in there that only he knows about," JC answered, almost dejectedly. "And he tried to strangle the woman to death."	
	Joey chuckled and dropped his arm. "What?"
	"Don't laugh!" JC snapped at him. "It's not funny, Joe. When he rants to you about why she didn't die then you can laugh, alright? Jesus…" He stomped away towards the rack of clothing cursing. 
	Joey stepped back with a dazed look. "Alright, man, sorry… I just couldn't get the image of Justin strangling a woman." 
	"So I guess that's what Chris meant by freaking out…" I spoke gently.
	"He won't talk…" JC continued. "One word here and there. I mean, he obviously doesn't want to talk about it, but I can tell this whole thing was a bad idea. He doesn't even have an expression. At least last time he talked to you or lied to us. Even if it was lies, he still talked…" 
	"JC, calm down…" I started. "Do you want me to talk to him when he comes in?"
	"He wouldn't talk to Chris or me," JC retorted. "What makes you think he's going to talk to you?" 
	I saw his hurt expression and sighed. "Because like you just said… he talked to me last time."
	"That means nothing," JC muttered. 
	Joey cleared his throat. "I hate to sound like the asshole in this situation… but right now I think we should concentrate on this concert?"
	"You're right," I assured him with a smile. "We'll all talk about this later."
	"Hey, boys…" Lonnie's voice came from the doorway as he entered with a smile. "More of your beautiful fans have added themselves to the huge boisterous crowd outside the arena… One of them even got through the south entrance." 
	"Wonderful!" Joey exclaimed.
	"So where's my boy Justin at?" Lonnie frowned. "Don't tell me they ain't back yet…"
	"Oh, they're back," JC answered dryly.
	"Did you kill them yet?" 
	"I couldn't. Justin's all weird," JC continued. "Something happened and he won't talk about it."
	Lonnie made a face. "I'm sure you'll find out, JC. And until then I bet you'll worry about it."
	"Of course." JC smiled a little bit.
	"I'm sure they're fine. This whole barely showing up in time for a show though? Not cool." 
	 "Do we look as funny in these outfits as I think?" Joey asked, changing the subject as he held up a shirt from one of the racks.
	"Uh, yes," Lonnie answered. "How is that even a question."
	"Thought so…" Joey frowned. 
	"I laughed. "But the beautiful fans love it."
	"Sure they do..." 
	I looked up to see Justin and Chris walk in. I tried to see through Justin's expression. He was usually easy to read. But lately he seemed to be proving all of us wrong. I couldn't tell anything. He looked... fine?
	He started talking with Lonnie. I could tell the guard was kidding around with him by the way he spoke and jokingly pushed Justin. It didn't look like he was even giving him a hard time about being gone. A slight smile was on Justin's face but it didn't look like he was saying much. 
	How was this concert going to go?
:-:-:-:-:
Chris 
:-:-:-:-:
	Surprisingly enough, the concert was flawless. Any friction between any members of the group, even internal friction, wasn't obvious. Justin reclaimed his role as the energetic, attention-seeking heartthrob in the spotlight as he bounced around the stage and encouraged the crowd to sing along or scream. I think we were all pleasantly surprised by his transformation back into the Justin we knew and loved. That had definitely been a concern after a long day. 
	However, it didn't last.
	The quietness after the concert and during the ride to the hotel was not surprising. Most of us were the same afterwards. Sure, Justin was usually off the walls with me pending the ride, but after today, sure he'd be tired. Sometimes he'd be happy after a show and sometimes sick of it all if it were after a bad day or a busy week, so no big deal, right? Right…
	Once we'd showered and changed at the arena, we drove and reached the hotel. It had been a silent yet mutual agreement that we would go to Joey and Lance's room and stay together like we had two nights ago. So we could straighten this all out. 
	Obviously, the silent yet mutual agreement hadn't reached Justin… While Joey slid his key into their door, Justin stood across the hall at my door, looking at me expectantly.
	"Justin, we're going to stick in here tonight, buddy," I told him. 
	"I have to get my stuff," he reminded. He had a glint in his eye and I could tell he was going to put up a fight. However, I sighed and relented, telling the guys we'd be right there. 
	Once the door to my room was unlocked, Justin entered and flopped down on the bed. He grabbed the controller and flipped on the television. I walked over and swiftly pulled the plug out of the wall. I wasn't going to start with this. I started to get my bag together.
	"Hey... That's the same thing JC did to me the other day…" Justin mumbled. He got up and plugged it in again, returning to the bed. It went on again with a click of the controller.
	"That was a  gentle hint," I retorted as I dropped my bag on my bed and went to unplug it again. I turned to him tiredly. "Get up and get your stuff together. And JC's stuff ― whatever you took."
	"No," he answered, this time turning to fiddle with the radio on the table next to him. 
	"What do you mean 'no'?" I answered. "In case you've forgotten, this is my room that you're in and so it's my decision whether or not we stay here. We're not."
	"Maybe we aren't, but I am," he replied. "And so what if it's 'your' room. All the rooms are the same." 
	"Think again," I answered. "I told you. Get up."
	"No," he answered firmly. "I'm not moving."
	"Yes, you are," I persisted. I got all my stuff together and dropped it over by the door. Then I started to gather the few things of Justin's that he'd had in here, including those damn notebooks and whatnot of JC's. 
	I looked over at him, eyes closed as he listened to something on the radio that was playing too faintly for me to determine what it was. He looked peaceful for the first time today. Almost like he was about to fall alseep. I didn't care.
	"Come on, we're leaving," I directed. "Get off your lazy butt and come."
	"I told you…" he muttered. "Why do we all have to be in there?"
	"Because we all feel more comfortable for tonight. And besides, you don't tell me anything," I answered. I eyed his stillness and sighed. "Need help over here or something? Because I'm sure all of us could lend you a hand."
	"No thanks," he replied dryly. "I'm staying here."
	"Fine. Then all of us will come in here," I answered. "I'll go get the guys."  
	"Don't!" he exclaimed forcefully as my hand reached for the knob. "Don't get them."
	"Or what? You'll try to strangle me too?" I recoiled. That was a low blow and I realized it as soon as the words left my mouth and I saw the look on his face. 
	"Yeah, you know, maybe I will!" he shouted as he sat up in bed and grabbed the radio, pulling it's plug out of the wall. "Here! Is this what you're going to do next?" He hurled the radio over at me. "Go to hell!"
	I quickly shifted as the small clock radio slammed into the wall next to me and crashed to the floor. I stared at Justin, unable to anticipate his next move. I was surprised, and looked at the place where it had hit the wall. There was an obvious dent. I looked at him now, but he was frozen in place on the bed, staring at the empty place on the table beside him where the radio had been, as though surprised at himself. 
	"Okay, you know what? Fine…" I started quietly as I picked up my bag and the notebooks. "You stay here. I don't want to be around you if you're going to act like that anyway. Go ahead and sit here by yourself. You can think about today." 
	Before he could answer— yeah like he really was going to—I left and slammed the door behind me, cursing. What the hell was the matter with him? What was going on in his head? I knew what I'd said was wrong, but he was worse then I was. I had done nothing but help him out the entire day, going with him, supporting him, organizing the whole thing. 
	I knocked on the guys' door and sighed impatiently. Joey opened the door and frowned. "And where's the rest of the peanut gallery?"
	"Funny." I pushed past him. "I'm in no mood."
	"Why? What happened?" Joey persisted. "Need me to go get him?"
	"No, he deserves to be alone," I answered as I dropped my stuff in the corner. He also deserved Joey going to get him, as Joey would just unmercifully drag him over if needed. I noticed Lance and JC on the couch watching TV and walked over, Joey at my heels.
	"Here." I dropped the notebooks in JC's lap and he looked up in surprise. "Justin's stash."
	"Thanks I think…" JC replied slowly as he set them on the table next to him and I took a seat in the chair. "Where is he?"
	"In my room," I started. "He refused to come, not a huge surprise although after today you'd think being all together might be good. Then after a bit of an argument, I said that it was fine, we'd all go in that room instead. Then there was a poor choice of words... And now I'd rather leave him in there."
	"What'd you do?" Lance groaned. "Or say?"
	"I said 'what are you gonna do, try and strangle me too?' and he exploded. Ripped the radio out of the wall and threw it at me. So since I have no patience, I left him there." I shrugged. "It's been a long day." 
	Lance started softly. "Well, maybe if you hadn't said—"
	"If I hadn't said?" I exclaimed. "No, this is not my fault. I left for my own well being. Who knows what he would have thrown next…? I spent the entire day with him, and if he doesn't want to give me the time of day, fine." 
	JC put out his hand. "Give me the key to your room."
	I looked at him incredulously. "I don't think so. I'm most likely gonna pay for the damage, so—"
	"Dammit, Chris, he needs to talk to somebody. He won't throw anything at me," JC persisted.
	"Oh, like I expected it?" I looked at him and shook my head. Sighing, I continued, "JC, when someone wants space, you give them space. This boy wants space." 
	"So you won't give it to me?" He made sure.
	"Nope." 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	What had I done…?
	My eyes shifted from the empty space on the wooden surface next to me to the doorway near the floor, where the broken radio lay pitifully. 
	I looked at the door. Closed. Chris had left. I wasn't sure why. Well, I knew why, but I didn't mean it… I was sorry. I looked down and noticed a wet spot forming on my shirt. I was crying.
	Getting up, I walked over to the door and sat beside the radio. I suddenly felt so forlorn. "I'm sorry, Ashley," I told it tearfully. "I didn't mean to hurt you…"
	Its black plastic body just sat there, motionless; expressionless. It didn't comfort me or tell me it was okay. It just stared at me with an unforgiving presence.
	Giving up, I walked back across the room, looking at things through tear blurred eyes. I glanced briefly at the unplugged television with no desire to put it back on. I regretted acting like such a kid to Chris. I looked over at the phone, sitting hazily on that table. I had a burning desire to call my mother, but I couldn't possibly like this. I couldn't talk and have her think I was sick too.
	I walked around dumbly for a little bit as I sniffled in the presence of the looming walls around me. I looked at the two beds and thought about the four men in the other room, undoubtedly talking about me. That I hated. I felt sick. I was sick. 
	A shower. That's what I needed. Just wash this day off of me and get the grit of the prison out of my skin. I remembered her hands on my shoulders and shuddered, immediately taking my shirt off and tossing it to the ground. Dirty. 
	I glanced down at my stomach and pressed lightly at the skin of my sides, above my hips. It hurt just slightly and had faint bruising where she had squeezed as I was on her. Not anymore than if it were from horsing around with the guys. She'd grabbed there pretty hard while I'd choked her half to death. Not hard enough. 
	I kicked my sneakers off and stripped as I walked towards the bathroom, leaving the clothes strewn on the ground. I wondered if they guys were disappointed. I knew Paul at the police station was disappointed. I'm sure they all were. 
	Once in the bathroom, I turned on the faucet to hot and stepped into the shower. 
	It was shockingly cold at first, but soon it heated up and the bathroom began to fog up. I grabbed the soap and cursed. Why did hotels wrap them up in this stupid paper? I unwrapped it quickly and threw the papers out of the shower onto the tile floor. 
	Working the soap into a lather, I tried my best to get everything off of me that could possibly have come from her. I knew that even though I couldn't see it, it was there. 
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	I sat there and listened as the guys started to discuss the possibility of making Justin see somebody. Chris began talking about how Davis had given him a number to call. It made me sick. They were jumping to so many conclusions without talking to Justin first. He would inevitably talk sooner or later. They couldn't judge his state of mind by how he reacted immediately after something. 
	I picked up the phone and dialed Chris's room. He had to talk…
	"You calling him?" Joey asked.
	"Yep," I affirmed as the phone rung. The guys were silent and I rolled my eyes. After several rings I hung up. "But he's not answering."
	"You don't think he did something stupid again do you?" JC began worriedly. 
	"Of course not," I replied. "He just doesn't want to talk to us so he's not answering it."
	"Why wouldn't he want to talk to me?" JC persisted. "I don't get it. He's always told me everything…"
	"Maybe because you told him he was sick?" Chris began stiffly. "Could be that."
	We turned to stare at JC. "Why?" I asked.
	"I didn't tell him he was sick. Chris, where did you get that?" JC exclaimed. "Why the hell would I do that?"
	Chris shrugged. "He said you did. After he told you what he did?"
	"I said that that was sick. Not him," JC objected.
	"Well, he obviously misinterpreted," Chris answered.
	"Well, I didn't," JC persisted bitterly. "I would never do that. Is that what he's thinking?" 
	"All I want to know is what really happened in that room," Joey began. "What she said to him."
	"Don’t we all," I answered slowly. "Chris, you have no idea?"
	"Well, I know part of it. I think. Because, in the car he started saying that he didn't do it. He began rambling on about Ashley. About how he went to visit her and stayed with her. That it wasn't his fault that he couldn't go to her funeral. He wanted to know why she didn't know that."
	"So in other words…" I started. "The woman conveniently had some information and switched it up."
	"Exactly. And I'm sure that's just part of it," Chris answered.
	"You know what the other scary part is," Joey began. "He didn't find out about the notes, right? I'm sure she wasn't directly responsible. I mean... We still have no idea who's behind that." 
	A moment of silence followed Joey's statement. He was right. We still had no idea who was out there. 
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Finally I was able to convince the guys that I should go over and see Justin. That he'd had enough space. Chris gave me the key in exasperation and told me not to say anything stupid. That hurt but he was right… I had to admit that it was a poor choice of words on my part too. Not that I liked to admit it. 
	When I reached the door however… I began to have doubts. Maybe Lance should come instead. Sure I've known Justin for the longest time, but lately… Lately he didn't seem to want to confide in me. 
	Maybe I would make it worse. Maybe I would say the same thing again…
	Dammit, JC, just open the door. You've known him half his life. 
	With one last determined breath, I slid the key in and pushed the door open. The first thing I did was nearly break my neck on the infamous radio. I kicked it aside, andl looked into the room. There was silence.
	The two empty beds. Unplugged TV…
	The room was empty.
	Aw, no… Justin… Don't tell me you left….
	He wouldn't do that. I trusted him too much for something like that. 
	I walked further into the humid room and noticed his clothing strewn on the floor carelessly. Fighting, the urge to pick up, I walked towards the bathroom where the door was ajar and the exhaust fan could be heard...
	I pushed open the door and looked at the empty bathtub and wet towel on the floor. So that explains why he didn't answer the phone at least…
	My eyes drifted to the mirror. It was fogged up except for where a finger had written in huge scrawled letters the word 'DIE'. I sighed and left, flipping off the light and fan.
	I took another look at the room and started to get nervous and slightly upset. However, then the other night came back to me. When he and I were sharing a room and I'd come back from my 'secret meeting/date with imaginary girl' and found him missing…
	I walked over to the balcony door. It was dark out there with no light, but I knew he was there anyway. I slid the door open and flipped the light on. "Justin?"
	There was no answer and I scanned the empty chairs disappointedly, a tremor of fear racing through me. If he's not out here… then…
	Then I noticed the pair of bare feet sticking out from the other side of one of the chairs. With relief, I walked over and followed the foot up to jean clad legs, a bare chest, and the sleeping face of Justin. He sat, supported by the wall behind him, head cocked to the side. His legs lay stretched before him.
	I settled down next to him with a smile. "Oh, Justin…" I started. I took a slight grip of his wet hair and shook his head a little. "Wake up, sleepy. "
	He groaned and tried to roll over, unsuccessfully as he realized he was sitting up against a wall. Tiredly, his eyes opened to meet mine. Then he lowered his gaze. "I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep." He rubbed at his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.
	"What are you thinking about?" I asked in a soft voice. There was something about being outside at night that made you feel like you should be whispering.
	He shook his head. "Nothing, JC. How'd you get in?"
	"Chris gave me the key... Thought you might want to talk."
	"You don't want to hear it, trust me..." he sighed. 
	"Come on, it can't be that bad…" I persisted as I shifted positions and slipped an arm around his waist. 
	"You'll say I'm sick…" he whispered. "Again."
	"I never said that you were sick," I said stubbornly. "You misunderstood me. I said wanting to kill anybody was sick."
	"Then I am sick," he persisted.
	"No, you're not," I replied. "That was just anger. You don't really want to kill her…"
	"But I do…" he murmured. "I really, really do, JC."
	I cleared my throat, tightening my arm around his waist. "What were you thinking about?"
	"Blood," he answered. "Why there's no blood when you choke somebody."
	I frowned. Come on, just talk to him like it's normal. Is that the right thing to do though? Oh well, it kept him discussing this. "Because you don't break the skin…"
	"But I wanted to see her blood all over…" he answered. "There was no blood."
	"Justin, please don't say that…" I began gently. "You know, it's not like some video game, or a movie, it's life. You can't do that to somebody no matter how much you're angry." 
	"See, I'm sick," he cried out.  
	"Come on… No you're not…" I paused. At least he was talking… "Why kill her?"
	"Because it felt so good…" he sighed, leaning into me. "My hands around her neck. She couldn't talk anymore. Her face was turning red… Almost blood red. I guess that's good enough. And her eyes were wide open and her mouth … trying to yell…" he murmured into the night air with a small smile. "It was the first time I've ever seen her not in control."
	Great. He smiles for the first time and it's when he's talking about murder. Wonderful. "Wasn't the fact she was in prison enough to show you she's not in control anymore?"
	"No," Justin replied. "Because she could still talk. She can still have control." 
	"And how come you wanted to kill Chris?"
	"I didn't. What are you talking about?" 
	"Why'd you throw something at him?"
	 "That was an accident," he objected. "Is he mad?" Tears flooded to his eyes easily.
	"Ripping something out of the wall and throwing it at somebody is not an accident. Neither is wrapping your hands around someone's neck and trying to kill them," I answered reproachfully.
	"Oh, that wasn't an accident," he assured. "It was an accident that they stopped me."
	I stared at him in surprise. "Justin, do you know what you're saying?"
	"Stop looking at me like that. I'm sick, aren't I? I'm so sick… It didn't wash away…" he began sadly. "Listen, I told you that you wouldn't want to hear it..."
	"Want to go to bed?" I asked when I couldn't think of a reply. "Maybe you're tired. It's been a long day... I mean, I can't even believe what you did today..."
	"No…" he moaned. "I’m sorry. I'll talk nicely. What do you want to talk about? The concert? We did good. Good crowd. Good… good everything. Meet and greet? Good, good, g—"
	I clamped my hand over his mouth. "Stop," I hissed. "I don't want to talk about the concert… I still want to talk about what you did with Chris all day."
	"We took an airplane ride, rented a car, came back. The end."
	I frowned, unaware that they'd had to fly. I guess it was a bigger trip than I'd thought. "Yeah? Come on, Justin, I actually want to know."
	"Alright, we rented the car. It was nice. A Mercedes that Chris rented but I wasn't allowed to drive." He frowned. "I was supposed to though…. .Then we went to the police department... Anyway, yeah, we got there and he couldn't tell me anything. Didn't know a thing. So I went to see the lady at the jail." 
	"Then?" I encouraged. We were getting somewhere… 
	"Chris kept saying the place looked like a school, but it was a prison… I don't know how something with a gate like that and fencing looks like a school…"
	If only he'd get past the incessant description and get to the part I needed to know… 
	"I had to see the lady alone because that's the way she wanted it. Chris didn't want me to go, but I needed to because like he'd said 'it's now or never'. So I went in and she was there… And…" he began to trail off. "She was there… And she looked at me…."
	"Did she say something to you?"
	"She said hello. And… That's the most I'm going to say tonight. It's late. I'm going to bed now, JC.." He started to pull up as tears began but I pulled him back down, nearly on top of me and wrapped both my arms around him. I was not letting go now that he'd started to open up. "Tell me what she said to you."
	"I don't want to," Justin answered as he squirmed. "Let go. I'll sit."
	I sighed and obeyed. True to his word, he settled down once again beside me, now looking unphased. 
	"She said hello…" I insisted.
	"Yeah, we said hello..." He turned quiet. Then he swallowed. 
	"Just, come on, what's the matter? I know she said something to you that made you so mad…" I persisted.
	"Oh, she said a lot of things…" he answered.  
	Okay, back on track… I sighed. "Tell me one."
	He leaned his head back against the wall. "Sit down."
	I frowned. "Hm? I am sitting."
	"No…" he groaned. "She told me to sit down. Then she wanted to know why I didn't sit next to her. Because… That… That she'd missed me… That Ashley had missed me." He wiped his eyes hastily. "She said 'we all miss you' like she and Ashley were on a side now… Like she talks to Ashley or something."
	"No, she doesn't. Obviously. She's a sick lady, Justin," I told him.
	"Well, that's what I told her," Justin continued in a little voice. "And she said 'everybody's sick in their own way'. And that I'd led her to this beautiful place… She said she had a question… So I said, okay… And then she started talking so much I never got to ask my question. I never got anything from her… The whole day and making all of you mad and it amounted to nothing… I don't know anything. Why anything happened. Where the notes are from. Who knows things..."
	"We were worried, not mad."
	"You said you were going to kill me. We all want to kill somebody at some point or another. Everybody's sick in their own way…"
	Hearing Justin quote that woman made me sick. What could I say?
	"Not physically. I was never mad.  'I'm gonna kill you' is just figurative…"
	"Well, for some people it's literal," he murmured. "It's the same thing… Either way…" 
	I didn't argue. "So what'd she ask you, Justin?" I continued. "Tell me what happened."
	He swallowed. "She touched me…" He froze. "I couldn't stand it.… and she knew my whole name and everything about me…"
	"What'd she ask you?" I persisted. I could feel my anger rising at this woman and tried to accept the fact that whatever had happened already happened. I couldn't change that. I had to change the way he remembered it.
	"How it felt to see them die. If I wanted to join them. Because Ashley wanted to ask me why I let her die. Why I killed her and left her. Why I didn't go to her funeral and never talk to her and always leave her…"
	I was silent, clenching my fists, and he continued in a monotone voice.
	"Then she said I had a beautiful family… My brothers and mother and that Eric's gonna take pictures of them…"
	Eric? I didn't speak. I was shocked. His voice started to waver as he continued. 
	"Eric promised to take pictures as he got closer…. She said that she ….  she liked my mom's accent when she answered the phone. And she knew what it was, knew where I was from." He swallowed as his voice broke, visibly struggling to calm himself. He played with the frayed edge of his jeans. "And then she said… she had their question…. If Jonny and Steve would get in a car… " He paused, as if regaining his voice. "If… if she said that Mom or Lisa was hurt or that I wanted to see them." He sniffled and then punched the wall beside him. "She's gonna get them now… She's gonna get them… With me…"
	What to think. What to say. What could I do? 
	So that was it. What drove him to attack her and now attack himself internally with all these questions and worries.
	I caught his fist in my hand before it collided with the wall again and stroked his hand silently. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly.
	What were we supposed to do now?
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	"What do you thinks taking them so long?" I asked impatiently. The movie we were watching was so damn corny. Geez. How did we even start watching it? To pass time I guess. No one had the will to actually flip channels.
	I watched the family on the television hug and forgive each other for the umpteenth time in the movie. It was sickening how many times they forgave and forgot the little things that in their life were disasters. 
	"They're probably talking," Lance answered quietly.
	"Or JC is dodging flying objects," Chris muttered.
	"You're going to forget that happened, right?" I tossed him a look. "You know he didn't mean it."
	"Okay, next time Justin throws a radio at your head and nearly knocks you out, you can forget it happened," he answered.
	"But you see, he doesn't throw radios at me. I'm nice," I retorted with a laugh.
	Bite me, Joey. I said nothing wrong." 
	"Chill, man. I’m just kidding around." I gave him an incredulous look. "Sheesh, calm down. You look about to explode." 
	"I am," he replied. "I'm just a tad bit edgy right now." 
	"No, you think?" 
	"Shut. Up."
	"He knows you didn't mean it," I continued. "Everyone says stuff they don't mean every now and then. Look at JC. Telling Justin that he's sick. I guess Lance and me are the only good guys, huh, Lance?"
	"High five, bro," Lance answered unenthusiastically. 
	I slapped him on the thigh. "No appreciation for the man trying to lighten the situation. Hmph." 
	"You're making the situation worse," Chris answered. "You're making me feel bad."
	"No big loss." I shrugged.
	"Now, you know I think I might be feeling like Justin," Chris started angrily, "because if I had a radio right now, I would definitely throw it at you!"
	"Go get a radio and we'll see who's talking, Shorty," I answered with a smile. 
	Chris just shook his head. "Superman my ass. Super annoying is more like it."
	"Ooh, good one."
	Lance laughed. "Guys, come on." 
	"What, are we distracting you from the movie?" I retorted. "Don't tell me you're actually watching this crap, Lance."
	"No," Lance answered. "If I knew where the controller was this would've been changed a lot time ago." 
	"I’m just worried is all," Chris replied, continuing to defend himself. "A little upset that my friend has suddenly turned his anger into violence against me is all."
	"Yeah." I chuckled at him. "I haven't seen Curly do anything but mope recently, so until I see this sudden streak of violence he's got in him, I don’t think I believe it."
	"Well, when we have a lawsuit shoved up our asses because Justin attacked an unassuming prisoner, then maybe you can believe it," Chris snapped.
	 "She obviously provoked him," Lance objected.
	"Who knows what she said," Chris answered. "Everyone just saw Justin jump across a table and choke her."
	Somehow I still couldn't imagine that…
	"I'm sure JC is finding out," Lance assured. "Justin likes to ramble so most of it will be in there." 
	"He likes to ramble nonsense stuff," Chris answered. "I couldn't understand what he meant half the time he was talking to me." 
	"Nice friend you are," I teased. 
	"Well it's hard to know what he's talking about. Earlier it was all about killing her," he persisted. "And he really sounded like he meant it too. That's what's so scary. Maybe JC can fix it."
	"Well… then maybe he should get help…" I answered slowly. I'd been against the idea when Chris first mentioned it, but now I was starting to see why he'd said it.
	"Come on, guys," Lance answered, rolling his eyes like the whole notion was ridiculous. "Not yet. You haven't even talked to him, Joey."
	"Because obviously it's dangerous!" I replied with a laugh. "I know, Lance, you're right. And I wouldn't agree to it until I had, and in the end it's his decision. Happy?"
	He sighed. "Joey, I mean, what do you think he's going to say when you tell him about that idea?"
	"He says no to everything," I replied. "Just for the heck of it."
	"Well, he's not going to say no to this," Chris answered.
	"Chris, he does not need therapy!" Lance exclaimed. "None of us have even seen him yet."
	"And when you do he's going to pretend he's all great again and put on his cute, goody-goody little act. It's all pretend, Lance. I saw him in the car, and I saw him on the plane, and I saw him just before in the other room. If JC doesn't talk him out of it, I want somebody too." Chris crossed his arms. 
	"What happened on the plane?" I asked.
	"Bad dream," Chris muttered. 
	"He was good at the concert, wasn't he?" Lance persisted, defending his point.
	"He's always good at the concert," I objected. "We've all run through it so many times it's all natural." 
	"Joey, whose side are you on?" Chris asked.
	"I don't know yet…" I answered honestly. "I guess we'll see."
 :-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I pulled away from JC as I realized how stupid and inconsistent and…. and just plain silly I must've sounded repeating all of that to him. What had possessed me to say anything at all? I hadn't been planning on telling him anything. I was supposed to keep my mouth shut. I guess I was just used to telling JC what was going on. 
	I was relieved JC didn't say anything. Didn't pass judgment. I'd been scared he would. Or he'd think I was sick again. 
	Everything started coming back again. That's all that talking about it got me. I started feeling her hands on my neck and shivered.
	"Curly, where you going?" JC asked as I pulled up from the corner.
	"To… Uh, to shower…" I answered, pulling my hand out of his and starting to walk away, pushing the chairs gently out of my way.
	"You just showered though…" he objected as he stood and followed me. "Your hair's still wet. Trust me, you're clean."
	"No, I'm not. I'm showering…" 
	"No, you're not. Hey, remember when you locked me out here at our room?" he asked with a laugh.
	"Yeah, I do. Sorry," I answered with a frown. That seemed like a year ago.  
	"No, it was kind of funny," he replied. 
	I slid the door open and slipped back inside. He was at my heels.
	JC cleared his throat. "Just, let's go back to the other room, okay? Get a shirt on and we'll go. Come on, it'll make everyone feel better, Jus." 
	"I'm showering," I insisted. Her fingers crawled up my back again. Touched my bare skin. "I'll just be a little bit. Don't wait for me though. If you don't want to." 
	He walked over to the bathroom and shut the door, leaning against it. "No. You just showered. Don't you realize that?"
	"What? I want to shower, JC," I answered, shifting uncomfortably as I stood still. "Is that really such a crime?"
	"Did you or did you not just shower?" he demanded.
	I swallowed. "I'll take a bath then. I didn't just take a bath…"  She'd touched me. I had to get it off.
	He shook his head. "Justin, there's no need to shower again, trust me." When I didn't answer he bent down to grab one of my shirts from the floor and tossed it over. "Come on, bro, let's go, okay?"
	"Can we go swimming then?" I answered as I let the shirt hit me in the chest and fall to the ground.
	"The pool's probably dirtier than you think you are," he answered. "Not going to wear a shirt? Fine. Let's go." 
	I just stared at him. I didn't see why it was such a huge deal if I wanted to hop in the shower. It would take five minutes. "Okay."
	"Okay? Good…" JC smiled. He started for the door. 
	When he was a couple feet from the door, I simply walked towards the bathroom and slipped inside. "I'll be five minutes, JC," I said as I closed the door behind me and turned the lock. 
	As I walked over and turned on the tub faucet I heard him grab and knob and turn it uselessly. Next he pounded.
	"Justin!" he yelled. "Justin, what is this…"
	"I'll be out in a minute," I answered back, unbuttoning my jeans.  
	"Open up, J," he demanded. "Honestly, why do you need to shower again?"
	"Because. Just  give me a minute!" I replied as I let my jeans fall to my ankles. JC stopped knocking on the door and I could almost hear his sigh. I'm sure he was wondering what was up, but if I wanted to shower, I could shower. I made the water hot so that steam started coming up and kicked my jeans and boxers to the side.  I stepped in and tried to be as quick as I could. I got as soapy as possible and let the scorching water wash it all off. After a minute or so I turned the faucets off and grabbed another towel. 
	"See, JC?" I called. "The shortest shower ever. Just for you."
	He didn’t answer and I was beginning to wonder if he'd left. Oh well…If he did, he did. There was nothing to be mad about. 
	"JC?" I called as I toweled off quickly and pulled my boxers and jeans back on. I noticed my message from before reappearing on the mirror with the steam from the shower and frowned. It wasn't supposed to come back… I wiped it off with my towel and then discarded the cloth on the floor.
	I opened the door and found JC sitting on the couch by the TV. He looked up at me tiredly and I smiled widely. "I'm clean now, we can go."
	"You were clean before," he answered. "Sit down."	
	With a sigh, I walked over and sat beside him.
	"How come you don't listen to me anymore? Why do you say one thing and do another? And why is it necessary for you to take two showers in ten minutes?"
	"I felt dirty," I explained. He couldn't possibly understand. He'd never had those hands on him. Never felt the touch of a killer on his skin. 
	"Well, you weren't."
	"It was only a shower." I ducked my head into him to soak his shirt and he groaned. I shook my head, spraying him and the wall behind us. 
	"Okay, okay…" he started. "Want to go?"
	"Depends." I got up and grabbed the shirt from the floor, slipping it over my head. "Is Chris upset about the radio?" I asked. 
	"Surprised," JC admitted slowly. "I want to get ready for bed, so let's go okay?"
	"No… Don't go to bed already…" I objected. How could we possibly sleep? I thought he wanted to talk. Talking was better than dreaming or staring at the darkness. "I thought we could go swimming… or do something…"
	"You've been out all day, haven't you had enough?" JC stood up with an incredulous look. "I thought you'd want to rest, I mean, after all that you told me you must be tired after today…"
	"No…" I replied. "And what I told you… It's all… Don't mention it again, okay?"
	"You know it's not real, right?" He approached me. "She took stuff she knew and she made up a story to bother you. You know that?"
	I stared. "Um, yeah, whatever…"
	"No, seriously, Justin. I don't want you worrying about this. They're lies. She's not going to touch your brothers."
	"Eric will."
	"This 'Eric' probably doesn’t even exist!" he exclaimed. "Now stop being gullible and think for a minute!"
	"I am thinking and he does exist!" I exclaimed as I worked my jaw angrily. What did he know? I tell him a couple of things and now he thinks he can tell me what to do about them and think about them? No. Uh-uhn. 
	"How do you know? Because she said so?"
	"No, because I've seen him! There were two and he was the one that… He shot everybody… and he was the one that I saw in the hotel and when Chris went to get soda when we were at the arcade and he… he was standing there. He was the one with the gun and he was at our hotel and—"
	"Stop rambling, J," JC interrupted. "Come on, you don’t even know what you're saying anymore. Let's go."
	My mouth dropped open. "I do know what I'm saying!"
	"You're tired. You're upset. You just had a really emotional day. Let's calm down. I know what she said is upsetting, but think about it. Everyone knows about your family. You're famous. You just need to look up your name online and you can see your family. She doesn't know anything that the twelve year old down the block doesn't know." 
	"I don't wanna calm down. You calm down. You seem to know it all, don't you?" I snapped, backing away as he put his hand out. "Go… Just go and I'll stay here."
	"Come on, man," he answered dryly. "We just need rest. You need to just calm down and sleep it off." He stared at me, crossing his arms.
	"Sleep it off?" I echoed. "Sleep off today? Is that what you mean?"
	"Somewhat, yes. Sleep off your anger. Make sense of what happened." He started walking towards the door. 
	"What happened?" I repeated. "What happened is that I failed. I was supposed to end it all today and it didn't happen."
	"Because you didn't get your answers?"
	I shook my head. "No. I wanted to hurt her."
	"You went there looking for answers, Justin. That was it. And I know you might not have gotten what you wanted, but you know what, it took a lot for you to go, and you can be happy that you did it and got to see that she was controlled somewhere. But trying to hurt her was wrong, and  you can't keep focusing on―" 
	"It wasn't wrong. Why am I the only one that sees that?" I followed him to the door without an objection only because I didn't want to make a bigger rift between us. I was bad enough off with Chris.
	"I don't know, Justin, maybe everybody else in the world is blind or you just have this divine gift." He opened the door and waited for me to walk through.
	"Just shut up…" I answered. I was angry at him. JC, who always wanted to act like he knew everything that was going on, that he understood every situation, every human interaction, like the lyrics of his stupid songs that he wrote in those little notebooks. It wasn't so easy. 
	"You shut up. You're the one suddenly with these sick ideas in your head about murdering people." He lowered his voice now that we were in the hall. 
	"Why you talking softly?" I replied, raising my voice louder than it had been. Louder even then when I was mad at him before. "Are you embarrassed to have a sick friend?"
	"Shush up," he hissed. "It's late and people are sleeping, that's why." He moved across the hall to knock on their door.
	"You have a sick friend. Am I even your friend anymore? How's that feel? Your friend tried to strangle someone!" I told him resoundingly in a stage voice. 
	He turned around and grabbed my arm, yanking me over and clamping a hand over my mouth. I tried to pull but then just gave up and let him silence me.
	The door opened and Joey peered at us. He leaned casually against the side of the door. "Is this a hostage situation?" he asked, frowning. "Are you armed with radios?"
	I stared at him in astonishment and then my already present anger sparked. I kicked out at him, using JC as a balance since he was already holding me.
	"Hey!" Joey exclaimed, backing up and just missing my foot's wrath. 
	"It's not funny!" I exclaimed as I kicked out again.
	JC let go and struggled to shut the door as I pushed through. "Sorry, Joey. We're a bit… wound up now." 
	"Well, wind down, Justin, because these are personal, award winning appendages you're kicking for!" Joey exclaimed. 
	I stopped and simply glared. 
	"Chris told me you were getting a little rough but I didn't believe him at first…" Joey continued. I shouldn't have opened my mouth."
	"Sorry," I told him simply. I walked past him and stalked towards the couch where Lance and Chris were sitting. I squeezed between them comfortably. 
	"You're going to get killed by everybody tonight, I can just tell," Lance said as he shifted over to provide more room. 
	"Just don't get mad at me, Lansten, you're my haven," I replied.
	"What about me?" Chris objected. 
	"I tried to kill you, remember?" I answered.
	"Well, I'm only slightly upset at this point."
	"Cool. I didn’t mean it. That's two down, two to go…"
	"What'd you do to JC?" Lance asked.
	"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it." I shook my head. "Want to go to the arcade? Those two are plotting, I can just tell…"
	"Who, Joey and JC?" Chris asked. He turned around. "No, they're laughing. At you probably."
	"Or one of Joey's jokes is actually humorous to JC," Lance answered.
	"Yeah, let's split this joint. Look in everybody's bags for quarters and we'll head out…" Chris answered. 
	"Head out?" JC answered as he walked over, overhearing our conversation. "I don't think so. Not yet at least." He and Joey sat down. "Especially not if it's with you again, Chris." 
  :-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"Let me guess… Conference time…" I sighed. Justin shifted uncomfortably and groaned beside me.  
	"Yes," JC answered, putting his foot up on the coffee table in front of us. "Conference time."
	"If it weren't for you two, we wouldn't have to have a conference," Joey answered. "So don't complain."
	"And, Justin, no showers or throwing things until we're done," JC added, giving the boy a smile. It wasn't returned. 
	Justin muttered a curse under his breath and leaned back heavily into the couch.
	"Okay, anyway, we want to talk about today," Joey persisted. "What you guys did."
	"We almost canceled a show today and that's not going to happen again. It shouldn't have happened to begin with," JC continued.
	"Canceled a show?" I repeated incredulously. "Justin, did we or did we not call and tell them that we would be back in time?"
	"We did," Justin answered.
	"Guys, let's not take sides…" Lance objected.
	"Not to mention that I called you guys," JC voiced dryly. "Just to let you know…"
	"Same difference," I answered. "Either way, you were informed that we'd be back."
	"But how could we trust that?" Lance answered. "Traffic, losing track of time, getting caught up with something else… You never know. It was really risky."
	"Let's not take sides, Lance," I replied stiffly. He rolled his eyes.
	"I understand that you thought going was important," JC started again in a lecturing tone. "And, Curly, thank you for not going alone, although I doubt Chris was worthwhile to have around…"
	"Hey…" I interrupted. "No need to pass judgment. Come on, get this sermon over with."
	JC sighed. "I just want to make sure that you guys realize that it wasn't right. We were left not knowing what to think, and that's not fair to the three of us."
	"Lance knew," Justin objected. "So it's just you two. Sucks for you, but no big deal."
	"No big deal?" Joey exclaimed. "Last time I worry about your sorry ass I guess."
	"Good," Justin retorted. "And I don't need supervision. I could have gone alone." 
	"Remember when Chris and I didn't come back from clubbing that night?" Joey persisted. "How'd you feel, Justin? Did you sleep that night? And don't lie because we all know the truth anyway. Did you?"
	"No," I admitted. "But that was different."
	"How?"
	"Because I wasn't out getting drunk," he answered sharply. "At least I had my senses, wherever I was."
	"I'm starting to wonder about your senses," JC answered. "You don't know the difference between right and wrong."
	"I do too." Justin sighed theatrically and rolled his eyes. "Quit the act, JC, you're not my mom."
	"What would mom say to you about what you did today?" he shot back.
	"Nothing," Justin said stiffly 
	"And about how you're talking about killing people?"
	"I'm not." 
	"It's true. You have been doing that and it's a little scary." I watched him set his jaw and get a hard look in his eyes.
	"Justin, we just want to know why," Joey started. "We know why you went, more or less... That's not what I'm asking. But why you went after her. Even... Yeah, we know who she is and what she did, but .... What possessed you to do that? Why do you think it's justified?"
	Silence.
	"Unless somebody attacks you—"
	Justin interrupted loudly, "Joey, shut up! You don't know anything!"
	"Well, I know it," JC replied angrily. "Whatever she said to you, Justin, it's not a reason, because it's all a lie. I don't know why you can't see that. Why you want to be a victim. It's not true."
	"Nothing's true to you," Justin cried out. "What she said isn't true. She isn't true. The notes weren't true. The whole murder wasn't true. Nobody's threatening us." He shook his head. "Why isn't anything true to you until something bad happens that you can see?"
	I put a hand on his thigh but he threw it off. "Don't." 
	"Justin…" I started.
	"No, none of you understand and I don't get it," Justin persisted. "You say 'don't worry, Justin' and 'This doesn't exist; Justin, it's all in your head'. Well, guess what? I am worried and to me it does exist and I'm sorry if you think that's wrong and I'm doing something bad but I can't see it that way and I wish you'd all get off my ass about it!"
	We all just stared at him, surprised at his lengthy discourse and hurt tone.
	"We're just worried…" Lance answered.
	"Well, don’t be worried," Justin answered.
	"But you're—"
	"I'm crazy. I'm sick. I'm wrong. I'm stupid. I KNOW," Justin answered sharply. "I'm sorry that Chris and I left. I'm sorry for the way I feel. But I'm not changing so just leave me alone. Are we done yet?"
	"No, we're not," I answered. "We may not understand you, but it's not like you understand us or see where we're coming from either."
	Justin became tight-lipped again and just shook his head. 
	"Do you want to see somebody?" Joey asked suddenly.
	"Joey!" Lance objected. "Come on. We haven't talked about this." 
	"See somebody?" Justin echoed in confusion. "What the hell does that mean?"
	"Do you want to see somebody that can help you?" Joey persisted.
	"Help me? Help me from what?" Justin answered. "What kinda question is that?"
	"Help you see straight. Help you figure things out."
	Justin scowled. "I have things figured out. I am seeing straight. Maybe you four should see somebody if you're so worried."
	"Seriously, Justin, I think it might be a good idea if you talked to somebody…"
	Justin looked at us, a look of fear creeping onto his face. "You're kidding right? Please tell me this is just getting back at me for leaving…"
	JC shrugged. "It might be good for you to do. It's completely up to you, but if you feel like it would be better to talk to somebody else. I mean, if we can't get through to you, maybe somebody else can."
	"Get through to me? You're getting through to me…" He shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you guys want me to see a shrink. I'm not a nutcase. Are you going to make me?"
	"You don't have to be a nutcase. You can just be having a hard time. And no one can make you do anything."
	"It's only because I didn't get to ask my question…" Justin persisted.
	"Justin, that woman probably didn't even know you were getting threats," Lance spoke up with a frown. "How would she know? She's closed off from the other guys. She wouldn't know anything. She'd make something up."
	"She'd be able to know what they were thinking," Justin insisted. "I don't even want to talk about this if it's going to convince you that I need to see a shrink. I told myself not to mention it, but… Ugh, why didn’t I listen? At least Lance doesn't think I'm crazy, do you, Lance?" 
	Lance shook his head. "No, you're just—"
	"We never said you were crazy," JC objected. "Just like I never said you were sick! Stop saying that!" 
	"But you did," Justin exclaimed. "See you should see this shrink, not me. You're the mental one."
	"But I never would do that. I never said you were sick and now you keep saying you are… Justin, please…"
	"Everybody's sick in their own little way…" Justin answered stiffly.
	"Don't quote her," JC snapped. "Why follow what you hate, Justin?"
	"It's true."
	I stared at the two in confusion as they argued. Obviously that woman had said that… It was perplexing that Justin was actually listening to stuff she had told him. Made me wonder what else he was thinking. 
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	Sighing, I watched the group act on confusion, anger, and uncertainty. This was not working at all. The way Joey brought up therapy so vaguely yet bluntly made me mad. We hadn't even decided on it as a group yet and here he was proposing the idea out of thin air. It was apt to make Justin against the notion out of anger before he even thought about	it.
	As soon as Justin started up with JC, I cleared my throat and started, "Justin, why don't we go down to the arcade…?" I suggested. I sent JC a hard look. 
	Justin's brow furrowed in receding anger, replaced by relief. "Just with you?"
	"Yeah. If you want. Find sneakers and we'll go."
	Justin jumped up at the opportunity to be out of the conversation and went to search for shoes. 
	"Lance, that's not good, we need to all talk about this," JC objected in a whisper.
	"You guys talk about it then," I answered. "Haven't you gotten him worked up enough? You're making it worse. You're making him not want to tell us anything. And, Joey, how could you go suggesting help like that?"
	He shrugged. "I thought it was the right time to do it."
	"Well, it wasn't. We didn't even discuss it."
	"I think we should call the number Chris got anyway," JC answered. "Tomorrow of course, not now. But just to find out information."
	I shook my head. "He doesn't need that."
	"Who knows? Maybe he does," Chris answered. "Even if it's just one visit to decide if he trusts it or not, I think it'll help."
	I remained skeptical.
	"Lance, try to convince him," Joey started. "Just to try it once. Just once, that's it. Make a deal with him."
	I sighed, feeling like a traitor. "Depends on the mood."
	"Try," he persisted.
	"It's also late," JC added. "It's two o'clock in the morning, that's why he's such a mess."
	"Shit. It's two?"
	JC nodded. "Yeah."
	I sighed. "Geez." 
	"I'm ready to go, Lance!" Justin called. I turned around and he was waiting impatiently at the door, hand on the knob. 
	"Bye, guys…" I started as I got up.
	"Don’t forget to mention it," Joey answered. 
	I shook my head. "Maybe. Don't wait up." I walked over to Justin, making sure I had a key. He opened the door and stepped out as I followed. 
	"I can't believe them, can you?" Justin began immediately. "And they wonder why I want to throw things at them…"
	"Don’t though," I warned as we started walking down the hall. "I think you've done enough."
	"Oh, I know." He bit his lip. "It's just… I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I told JC everything out of habit and I don't think I should've…"
	I frowned. "Why not?" 
	"Well, because, I don't think he's taking it seriously. He said it's all a lie, but to me, it's not. And even if there is that chance that it is, I'd rather take it seriously, just in case, you know?"
	I wanted to ask for more information. Specifically exactly what he'd told JC, but I knew that would be pressing too much and that he probably didn't want to repeat it again.
	"I know, Justin, but you have to understand…" I started. "That lady was playing off your fear. She knew what you didn't want to hear and she knew what would bother you. So she accumulated all that together and said some stuff. I don't know what, so I can't be sure, but that's what it sounds like."
	"Maybe, but like I said I'd rather be safe." He paused. "Do you want to know what she said?"
	"Not if you don’t feel like talking about it," I answered.
	"Okay, maybe later then," he replied without commitment. "But even if the stuff she said isn't true like your saying, either way, she knew a lot. She knew too much."
	"Maybe she's a closet teenybopper." To my relief he smiled a little. "I don't know, Justin, but you've got to stop jumping down the guys' throats, okay? They don’t totally understand what's going on."
	"You do, though," he answered. "Right?"
	Taken by surprise, I hesitated. "Um, I'm trying to. I think I do."
	"I think you do," he agreed. "You know more about last time than they do, so you know more. They keep jumping to conclusions. I'm afraid to tell them things without them thinking they understand it already."
	We reached the elevators and he glanced at me. "Can we not go to the arcade?"
	I felt my stomach turn. "Um, where do you want to go…?" Please not out of this building, Justin. Don’t make me have to say no to you…
	"Up," he answered. "I want to see if we can get on the roof."
	I stared at him. "Why?"
	"To see the moon."
	"The moon?" I answered. This was very un-Justin. 
	"I just wanted to do something different…" he started. "If you don't want to, it's okay. We can go downstairs if you want… You probably can't even get on the roof here… Sometimes those floors are private."
	"No, no, we can do it," I objected. "I was just a little surprised, that's all. That'll be cool though. It's worth a try."
	He grinned and pushed the up arrow on the controls. "Awesomeness…" 
	The elevator brought us to the top level of the hotel, but it wasn't looking very promising. Justin was growing slightly disappointed, I could tell. We hadn't spoken since he'd pressed the button.
	"Maybe there's stairs up," I encouraged hopefully.
	Justin pursed his lips and started down the hallway, past the numbered doors. I sighed and followed. After several minutes of what I thought would prove worthless, he stopped in front of a door and let out a giddy laugh.
	"There. It says roof." He pointed happily as he reached for the knob.
	I caught his arm. "It also says 'designated personnel only'," I added. I gave him a look.
	"Lance, I haven't done one thing I was supposed to today," he answered. "Why stop now?"
	"What if there's an alarm?"
	He shook his head. "Nah, man, come on. If there is, then we make a run for it. Don't be a baby."
	"If they evacuate the whole hotel because of us…" I answered with a laugh. 
	He gave me one last look and then pulled the door open. He paused for a minute, but then considering it safe, pushed through and peered into the dark stairwell.
	"I don't know about this…" I looked up at the filthy single light bulb that flickered as it lit the way up. I frowned at the way my voice echoed. 
	"Oh, be daring," he answered. "We're already almost there."
	"Sure…" I nodded sarcastically. "Almost there."
	Justin started up the stairs, taking two at a time up into the darkness. I shook my head and with a sigh, followed him slowly. He had killers after him, so why be scared of a dark stairway? I laughed at the thought. But for someone that had been so fearful to have anyone out of his sight, he was certainly being rather brazen now. 
	"Lance, can you stay with me?" Justin requested as he hopped back a few steps and pressed against me.
	Oh, yeah. Mr. Brave Guy. 
	"Sure, Justin," I answered. I was ready to tell him we could just see the moon from one of our room's balconies. 
	"I see a door," he started, taking my arm and pulling me up the stairs quicker. He reached the door and turned the knob, pulling it open swiftly. The cool night air hit us and he took a deep breath, leaving my side and darting out the door.
	I stepped outside and watched him run around a little bit. The smooth concrete ground beneath our feet somehow didn't make me feel safe as I stared out at the nighttime skyline. There was such a low railing… How many stories was this building? Geez…
	It was very beautiful however. I couldn't see much of the roof itself in the moonlight, just that it was clean and that we were the only ones out here. But the night sky was gorgeous. Millions of little white stars that sparkled and one big full moon that smiled down at us. 
	"Isn't it amazing?" Justin asked as he ran back to me and pulled me farther from the door. I reluctantly let it close behind me and tried to pull back as Justin dragged me nearer to an edge. 
	"Look down!" he requested. "Isn't that so cool?"
	I marveled as his sudden carefree transformation, smiling and laughing as he began chattering about the sky. 
	"Can you please stay away from the railing, J?" I asked quickly as he started to lean over to look down. 
	"Why, I'm not going to fall," he answered. But regardless he moved back. "You're just too scared of heights, you know? You're missing out."
	"Yeah, on an early death," I replied. I smiled as he walked over and got down on the floor to lay flat on his back.
	"Do this," he instructed.
	I walked over and laid down next to him, looking up at the sky. "That's a lot of stars. Really clear night…"
	He cleared his throat and shifted to put his hands behind his head. "Lance, do you think I'm crazy?"
	I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and noticed his gaze still on the sky above. "Justin, nobody thinks your crazy."
	"But then why do they want me to see a shrink?"
	"Well, because you've said some crazy stuff…" I started. 
	"I know I've said stuff about hurting her since I got back…" he admitted. "And that's why I told myself not to say anything—but I did anyway…"
	"Do you mean it?"
	He swallowed. "Yeah… Lance, I've never hated anything so much in my entire life. Never. I never thought I could hate this much. But I do."
	"I understand that," I soothed. "But it's not up to you to make sure that she pays for the stuff that she's done. And I know that what she did hits you hard, and although none of us can really feel what you're going through… we're trying at least. She's in jail now, which is just about all that's going to happen to her. I know it doesn't sound like too much, but then she has to deal with God."
	Justin laughed. "I want to help God out."
	"What you want to do is murder," I answered. "And you can't just do that. It's not justified and it wouldn't be fixing anything."
	He sighed. "I just feel… I need to do something." 	
	"You've done everything you can."
	"But I don't feel that way… And this shrink asshole that they want me to see is not going to make me feel that way."
	"Don't call them an asshole yet, Justin. Don't pass judgment like that. People just want to help."
	"Yet?" he echoed. He groaned. "Lance, you don't think I need to see somebody too, do you?" 
	"I think it's up to you," I answered slowly. "Will it help? Maybe. Will it hurt you? No. So it's worth a try."
	"But it's up to me?"
	"That's just me. I don’t know what JC , Joey, and Chris are thinking…" I answered honestly.
	"They can't just make me go."
	I shrugged. "Justin…"
	"They can't, though," he persisted. "And what if press finds out? And it's all over that I'm crazy? That certainly wouldn't be good."
	"Justin, you're not crazy…" I said with a sad laugh. "Stop saying that. Chris is crazy. You're not."
	"Maybe I am. Who knows anymore." He shivered. "I don't know. But she said all this stuff... And I don't know if it's true or not, but JC just making up his mind about it right away… Everyone thinks we're so close, and we are, I don't mean it that way, but I shouldn't have told him this. He made me feel stupid. He was just like 'well, you know it's not true' and not to think about it… So unphazed." 
	"He didn't mean to make you feel stupid," I assured. "If he got upset, wouldn't it get you more upset?"
	"Yeah, but still…"
	"He was scared that you wouldn't tell him," I told him. "He figures if he acts like it isn't worth worrying about, then you won't worry. But he wanted you to tell him." 
	"Well, of course I would tell him," he answered. "But now I just feel like I shouldn't have."
	"Yes, you should've, Curly. Trust me."
	"It's just so much stuff…" he replied softly. He brought up a fist to wipe his eyes. "All this stuff and I don't know what to believe or do or who to tell…"
	I longed to know what it was but kept silent in asking. "That's a reason why maybe you should talk to somebody…" I suggested gently.
	"Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?" he asked.
	"No…" I answered truthfully. "I haven't."
	"I don't want to… More questions. I've had enough questions. I never get to ask mine," he persisted. 
	"Justin, it'll be the most relaxed setting you'll ever have been in," I assured. "They want to make you feel better."
	"How can it be relaxed if I'm in a strange office with a complete outsider that wants to know all about me?"
	"They want to help."
	"Apparently so does JC, Joey, and Chris, but they're not very successful," Justin answered. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know. I know they'll keep pressing, but… I don't know," he repeated. 
	"Just try to relax," I answered. "Look at the sky."  
	He was silent for a minute but then started shifting positions again. "I can't. I've got these thoughts and this feeling in my stomach that's making me sick."
	"Is it all because of this therapy thing?"
	"Yeah. I don't want to be in that category. People that need shrinks."
	"Then go to show that you don't need one," I answered. "Prove them wrong."
	Justin considered it for a minute. "Maybe…"
	"Besides, it'll be kinda fun, Just. You'll have an hour of complete attention on you. Where you can say and do just about anything." 
	"No, because I'm Justin Timberlake. They'll know that."
	"Justin, no they won't. You're just John Doe to them. They can't say anything outside the room with you anyway. It's all confidential."
	He looked thoughtful. "You mean, say I badmouthed one of you guys… They couldn't tell any of you?"
	I laughed. "Yep. We'd never know."
	He smiled. "Maybe this won't be so bad…"
	"But you have to be serious about it," I reminded. "You can't put on an act and pretend about stuff. Just how you shouldn't pretend things are okay. You have to tell the truth."
	"I know."
	I sighed in relief at his acceptance of the idea. 
	"But," he started.  "I'm not going unless they drag me. It's not a bad idea, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run there in joy, okay?"
	I laughed. "Okay, Curly."
	He sighed contently and stared at the sky again. I wondered how we were going to do this. If Justin did actually see somebody, it would pretty much have to be local because we were busy. And if we kept traveling… He couldn't just keep seeing different people. The point of the whole thing was consistence and trust. If he saw a different person every week, it would never work.
	After several minutes, I glanced over and saw his eyes closed. I sat up and stretched. "Curly, come on let's go and get some sleep, okay?"
	He opened his eyes and sat up as well, trying to brush off his back any dirt from laying on the ground. Then he stood up and started towards the door tiredly. I got up and followed.
	"Uh-oh," he said tiredly.
	"What?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. I joined him at the door.
	He showed his hand on the knob, unable to turn it. He pulled a little with no success. 
	"Oh, no, we are so not locked out," I groaned. 
	"Nobody knows where we are…" Justin said sadly. "We'll be here forever… I don't have a phone..." 
	I leaned back against the wall, trying to decide what to do. "Do you think there's another way out?" I looked at Justin and noticed him biting his lip, a smile tugging at his frown.
	"Oh, you little joker," I started. "What as asshole." 
	"What?" He looked at me innocently.
	I pushed him away and turned the knob myself. It easily opened.
	"Wow, Lance, you're strong."
	"You gave me a heart attack," I accused with a mock glare. 
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"So you're going to call in the morning?" Joey asked.
	"I will, yeah," Chris started. "Unless you want to, JC."
	I paused. "He was so against it…"
	"Maybe but you can't deny that he has to talk to somebody…" Joey began with a frown. "After that conversation? If he's not going to open up to us.... If this turns into last time we're all in big trouble."
	"He opened up to me though," I objected. "He told me what the woman said to him."
	"Really?" Chris looked at me in surprise. "He did? When, just then when you went to his room?" 
	"Yeah," I replied with a shrug. "After a bit of persuading."
	"Well, what'd she say?" Joey persisted.
	I frowned. "She mentioned things about his family. That one of the men was going to get closer to Lynn and maybe do something to his brothers…" I felt anger within me again as I remembered Justin's tears as he'd told me… "But, I mean, I don’t even know what details the lady had besides that. Names, anything. She doesn't know anything about them. She's making it up and he's falling for it."
	Joey frowned and leaned down to rest his head in his hands. "Oh…"
	"It's really getting to me though… I mean, he's taking this so hard," I persisted. "When he was telling me, it's not like I know what to say to him. So I told him it's not true, but that's not what he wants to hear… I'm getting mad at myself just like him."
	"That woman's insane…" Chris shook his head. "His family… I was wondering what had him attacking her."
	"He keeps attacking her," Joey answered. "That's the problem. In his head. And he still wants to do it."
	"Have you heard him start up on it?" Chris began. "It's so unlike him…"
	"Yeah, he did it to me," I sighed. "And he wrote it in his mirror…" I rubbed my eyes tiredly.
	"What's he say?" Joey asked. "I only know that he does it…"
	"Well, he starts up about her needing to die, and that it wasn't his fault…" Chris started dryly. "And how his hands weren't strong enough and that they didn't give him enough time. He's so serious too. He says he wants to see her blood and he wants to break her neck."
	"That the only reason they stopped him was that it was policy, not because it was wrong," I added. "He thinks he's right."
	Joey frowned. "That's sick. Did you tell him anything?"
	"Yeah," I answered. "But he doesn't care if you yell at him about it. He yells back that he's right and that I think he's sick. I'm getting really worried because I don't know if he means it or he's just making a point… or making me mad."
	"I'd vote for the last two," Chris answered. "He's always loved to see how far he can go with you. But it also has to do with the fact that he's upset too."
	Joey sighed. "So should we give him a couple of days and see if he improves?" 
	Why did I feel so bad? Talking about him behind his back. Making plans for his well-being like we knew best… And after that conversation during which he told us specifically not to. I felt like I was betraying him.
	"Well, let's call and see what we can find out anyway," Chris suggested slowly. "Just to see what it would involve and maybe get a little advice at least."
	I nodded. "Yeah, that's better. I mean, the idea of him having to go to a shrink isn't very appealing, you know?"
	"Yeah, I feel better knowing that at least he told you what she said," Joey answered. "And that he answered. At first I was kinda doubtful. You know, when he was sitting alone in the dressing room?"
	"And under the pool table?" Chris added.
	Joey smiled wryly. "Yeah, that too. If there wasn't something wrong with him, I might actually have found it amusing…"
	I shook my head, scowling. "Stop. Stop saying that there's something wrong with him… There's not... He's just upset and not sure how to deal with what happened, but it's really getting to me…" 
	Joey grimaced. "You said it too."
	"Well, I am wrong sometimes, you know…" I replied dryly. "I can't stand hearing it. There's nothing wrong with him. He's just upset."
	"Well how long will this 'upset' stage last, JC?" Chris asked. "I'm willing to wait until tomorrow to see how he is after a good night's sleep, but after that, I want to do something about it. And not one of your little conferences either. They obviously aren't helping."
	"I know…" I groaned. "I know… And a good night's sleep? He's out with Lance and it's already tomorrow."
	Chris shook his head. "I'm realizing now that taking him where he wanted was not a smart idea. He didn't even ask me. I suggested it. I thought it would help. I'm starting to think it was a terrible idea that he wasn't ready for."
	"No, maybe it's good…" Joey objected. "He saw that she's in jail, so he doesn't have to fear her anymore. Sometimes you need to face your demons. But as for the other guys? I don't know…"
	"We know nothing about them," I started. "Absolutely nothing. Justin is the only one that knows what they look like. I don't know whether to ignore it or what…"
	"Well, acknowledge to Justin that it exists, JC," Chris replied. "That's what he gets pissed at you for."
	"I didn't want him to worry…" I answered.
	"Well, he sees through you, so be honest," he persisted.
	"So… to change the conversation slightly…" Joey began. "Where are we all sleeping tonight? Are we really all in here again or was that just to talk?" 
	"Do we have to do anything tomorrow?" Chris asked.
	"Not much," I affirmed. "It'll be a healing day." I laughed. 
	"I want a bed," Chris started with a crooked smile. "So I'm probably going to my own room for once." 
	"Oh, Chris, come on, you know you're welcome in my bed…" Joey said suggestively as he held a goofy smile.
	Chris rolled his eyes. "So, JC, if you wanna come with me. Justin too. You both need sleep. Joe, you and Lance can stay here."
	"So it's actually almost like our original plan," I answered. I shrugged. "That's fine with me. If we can get Justin to come with us. He might still be a little ticked."
	Joey got up and stretched. "He can't stay here. I'll give him hell all night. So he doesn't have a choice."
	"He'll probably want to sleep in our room alone," I answered. "He's suddenly Mr. Fearless. Attacking his biggest nightmare and telling us all off."
	"Not safe," Chris replied. "I mean, between his own fears and still not knowing who is out there." 
	"Oh, trust me, I know. But we haven't gotten any notes in a while, so I'm little less concerned...."
	"Maybe that's what they want," Joey answered. 
	I shuddered. "Don't say that. I'd still like to think they don't exist."
	Joey shrugged. "I'm getting a drink." He started walking towards the kitchen and then paused. "They're back. I hear them with the key." He continued walking and I heard him taking a glass out.
	Sure enough, seconds later, Lance and Justin stepped into the room. I studied Justin's expression and was relieved to find him looking slightly more relaxed. Thank God for Lance. 
	"I think we should head to bed now…" Chris started as he got up. "Hey, guys, have fun at the arcade?"
	"We went to the roof," Justin corrected. "It was nice."
	"The roof?" I repeated, standing myself. "What's up there?"
	"The sky," Justin replied.
	"You'll have to tell me about it," I replied. "Ready to go to bed?"
	"Where are you going?" Lance asked.
	"We figured that we wouldn't be all crowded tonight," Chris answered. "Justin, come on, wanna stay in my room? Half your clothes are there anyway."
	"Uh…" Justin hesitated. "JC, you coming?"
	"Yeah," I answered, afraid of his answer.
	"Okay, I'll go," Justin agreed.  
	I sighed. I'd been scared that he wanted to avoid me, but thoughts of that diminished. I walked over to grab my bag, gathering random things of mine and replacing them in there before I zippered it. Justin was squatted by his own bag, doing the same.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:	 
	I opened the door to my room and pushed it open tiredly. As I entered, I bent down to quickly grab the infamous radio. As Justin walked in, I handed it to him.
	He groaned. "I told you I was sorry."
	"What are we going to do with it?" I answered.
	"Maybe it still works," he suggested as he picked up the cord and frowned at the two bent prongs. 
	I laughed. "You get that to fit back in the wall and… and I don't even know what, because it's not possible. Look at it."
	He shrugged and dropped his bag, walking over to the table between the two beds. The outlet was behind it so I wasn't sure how he was going to manage it. Just like I didn't know how he'd managed to throw it at me. 
	I glanced at JC coming in and smiled. "Joshy's sleepwalking," I teased at his dragging demeanor as he walked with half closed eyes. "Bed's over there Mr. Sleepy."
	He rolled his eyes at me. "Whatever." He collapsed on it.
	"Do you think the hotel will notice this?" Justin asked as he tried to squeeze himself between the bed and table to reach the outlet. "If I don't do anything to it? I couldn't reach it from underneath, and now…" 
	"Do you know how hard I would laugh if you got wedged between those two things?" I started as I sat on the edge of the bed and slipped my sneakers off. I watched him push himself further in with a grunt. "I would laugh so hard…" 
	"I don't understand how they got it plugged in in the first place," he persisted irritably. "And shut up, Chris." 
	"Why are you even bothering?" I answered as I kicked him in the butt. "Just leave it. You're going to get stuck."
	"I can feel the outlet…" he replied. "I just can't get the plug to it." He stepped back and frowned.
	I leaned past him and grabbed the edge of the desk, pulling it back and leaving a huge space between it and the wall. "Voila." 
	Justin moaned. "Why didn't I think of that before…" 	
	"Because you're an idiot," I answered. "We've been through this a million times, Justin."
	"And you're just a regular genius," he answered sarcastically. He reached back and put the plug in after a struggle. I was surprised he even got it in, the way it was so bent. But after about a minute, he set back on the bed next to me and pressed the radio on. Music played.
	"I didn't break it!" he exclaimed. 
	"Well, I'm surprised," I replied. "It hit the wall pretty hard."
	"Can you guys go to bed now?" JC murmured into his pillow in the other bed, rolling onto his stomach. 	
	Justin got up and jumped on JC's back. "Joshy…" 
	"Chris, Justin, whoever the hell you are—Stop…" JC moaned. "It's three o'clock in the morning and we've had enough arguments today…"
	Justin started bouncing on top of him. "Is Joshy tired?"
	"Yes, Joshy's tired," JC murmured back with a groan. "Stop moving around…"
	I got up and started over to them. "Need some help, Curly?" I laughed as Justin moved to pin JC's arms behind his back. 
	"What's that? You say you want to be tickled?" Justin answered. "Right?" He jostled JC again. 
	"No, get off me, Justin," JC groaned as he tried to roll over. "It's three o'clock in the morning."
	"I know, you've told us three times."
	Several minutes went by as Justin and I mercilessly attacked JC, tickling him until he was almost crying, and knocking him to the floor. We finally let up when we got tired and JC just laid motionless on the ground, panting.
	"Okay, so JC's got the floor, and, Justin, you and I each get a bed," I announced, smiling at Justin as he grinned at me. I flopped down on my bed with a sigh. Justin was acting normal. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he threw the standing JC a pillow and a blanket.
	"Out," JC requested, motioning Justin off the bed. "After that, you're not with me. Sleep with Chris."
	"But, JC, we gave you the whole floor," Justin objected. "You've got the biggest sleeping area of all."
	"You can have it," JC answered. "Or the couch. Or share the other bed. I'm not risking you tickling me again. I just lost ten years of my life."
	I laughed. "Curly, come on, then. Leave the old man alone." 
:-:-:-:-:	
Justin
:-:-:-:-:		
	It was dark. Something had woken me up. Some dream. Some noise.
	Now I was cold. We'd stripped to boxers before going to bed and now I had goosebumps all over despite the heavy blanket and comforter on top of me. I was frozen, shivering. I felt the warmth of Chris several inches away from me and wondered at it. 
	::Justin Randall Timberlake…::
	I sat up quickly. A voice. My eyes shot around the dark room, seeing shadows everywhere. 
	::I know so much about you….::
	I shook more and lowered in the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I swallowed and tried to stay still. Why was I hearing voices? 
	::Ashley has a question…::
	"No…" I murmured out loud, squeezing my eyes shut.
	::Why'd you kill me, Justin? Why'd you let me go?::
	No, go away. "You're not real…" 
	::I don't remember what they looked like…. I know what happened, but . . . but . . . people keep asking and I can't remember…….How's my grandma?::
	"Stop!" I cried out. I was not reliving this. I was not going to see her die again.
	::If a person were to witness a crime . . . say a murder, what do they do?::
	I was so naïve. I'd been so stupid. Running out in the morning that day. Going God knows where because I'd felt like it and because I never thought otherwise of acting on a whim, and now all this on my soul forever. Not knowing what to do….
	::Is anything in your life a secret? And just think, you don't even know my name…. How did it feel to watch them die….:: 
	God….. Why won't this just go away. Once and for all? I was fine. Every time I'm fine…. It was too good to be true, those months of feeling like things were finally going back to normal.
	::In case you haven't noticed, the security at the hospital isn't too great. In fact, neither is it at your hotel. This is a small town. They don't expect stuff like this and aren't prepared….In other words, don't screw with us.::
	Why did I? Why had I screwed with them? Now they were screwing with me. With my mind. With my memories…. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to speak to her. Nothing was different. Maybe it was worse. It definitely wasn't better. Even the great feeling of pushing her done was being erased by the stress of not knowing. 
	::Ashley will barely speak. She won't eat, talk, or anything. Her condition is poor… Emotionally… Physically…::
	::Justin, why did you leave me? Why did you let me die?::
	I pulled up in bed, once more, unable to stand it any longer. I pushed the blankets off me and sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair.
	::Do you want to join them? Ashley has a question for you. Which of those four inside means the least to you? Which one? We could kill all of them if you'd like….. Should I give the signal?…..::
	"No." 
	Her hands slid down my back, nails gliding my skin. Hands on my neck. My shoulders… Her skin touching my skin.
	I was disgusted.
	::She had no other visitors…. Why didn't you go to her funeral? Why don't you ever talk to her?::
	I got up out of bed, shuddering and escaping from her touch. I escaped to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me firmly and sinking to the ground as I flipped on the light. I wished my mind would shut off. How could I sleep if my mind wouldn't shut up? But I couldn't just lay there in bed, listening to these reenactments in my head. I would never fall asleep that way. I needed to clear my mind. 
	::Darling brothers….. When she answered the phone….. I had to hear her voice….. Get in the car….. Just like Ashley…… Only a risk…."
	No. It wouldn't stop. I sighed, crawling to my feet and walking over to the shower. I turned the faucet and felt the cool water on my hands. I switched it to showerhead and took a deep breath…
	::Why'd you kill me….::
	I had to get that feeling off of me. The feeling of her hands touching my skin. Her dirty, bloody, conniving, uncaring hands had touched me…. I needed to relax. Needed something to relax. 
	::Found a suspect…. Behind bars…. Good news… Maybe things were finally back to normal.::
	"Bullshit," I muttered loudly as I slipped off my boxers and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water rain down on me as I put my chin up to have it hit my face. I knew I'd already showered. I knew it was silly. But I needed something, and I couldn't leave the room, couldn't really do anything.  
	I stared at the white tiled wall and leaned against it. Every time I closed my eyes I kept thinking. I kept seeing. I saw Ashley, I saw Eric, I saw that woman, I saw my brothers…. How dare they all be in the same category. All because of one day. 
	I dumbly picked up the soap and ran it over my arms. Soap. Get everything off. All where that woman's fingers lingered. Wash it off. Scrub anything off that might still have a sense of her. I don't want to be anything like her. Would that really help? No. 
	It wouldn't help at all. 
	I rinsed off and turned off the shower. I felt so tired. Emotionally and physically. 
	I grabbed a towel and dried off. I was lucky the mirror was fogged up. I didn't have to look into my lost eyes again. 
	In the same garments—or should I say, lack of—as before, I flipped off the light and slipped back into the other room. The dark room with flickering shadows and voices…. All in my head. 
	I started towards the beds, fumbling in the dark. I walked between the two carefully and was just about to creep back in with Chris.
	"Justin…" JC's voice came in a whisper as he shifted in bed, the mattress creaking.
	I froze, silent for a moment. His voice startled me. "JC?"
	"Did you shower again?" he murmured. "I thought I heard the water…"
	I didn't answer.	
	"Come here," he started tiredly. 
	"It's dark," I objected.
	"Did you take a shower again?"
	"No," I lied. 
	"C'mere, Curly…" His arm reached out blindly, touching my waist.
	I sighed and walked closer to his bed, climbing over his legs clumsily to collapse beside him. "Happy?"
	"Very," he answered. I inwardly groaned as his hand fell upon my hair. It lingered there and he sighed, pulling at a strand. "You did shower… Why again? That's what… four showers you took today?"
	"Is it?" That did sound weird. 
	"So I'm just wondering why… It doesn't seem like you."
	"I felt dirty," I answered.
	"Why?" He pulled at my hair again. It felt good to have a different touch. "You weren't."
	"Yeah, I was. She touched me."
	His hand fell still. "Justin…"
	"Don’t say anything. You asked and I told you." I rolled unto my side, facing away from him. 
	JC was silent for a moment but then he ran his fingers along my back soothingly. "I'm sorry. I'm not disapproving. Showering isn't wrong."
	I closed my eyes, wondering if I might fall asleep if he kept doing that. "I keep remembering it and then I feel her hands on me again," I answered. "I keep thinking of everything she said and it bothered me. I just needed to relax." 
	"I know I can't tell you to stop remembering… And I'm not going to, Justin, but I don't know what else to say..." he whispered. "If you can't sleep at night then something's the matter…"
	"I just can't stop thinking about it," I persisted. "No matter what I'm doing."
	"So next time you think about her, are you going to shower again?" JC asked. There was a tinge of humor in his tone, but I knew he was serious.
	"I don’t know… That's just… I got this feeling. She was so casual with me, like we were best friends or something, the way she walked up and…. And when I get that feeling again I want to wash it off."
	"You can't just wash it off," JC persisted. "It's psychological."
	"I know…" 
	"Is it that you're worried about what she said to you? Because you know that that's all—"
	"Don’t talk about that, JC…" Because you have no idea what you're talking about.
	"Why? If it bothers you that much—"
	"It doesn't bother me half as much as you do when we talk about it," I answered.
	"Oh…" He sounded a little affronted and shifted back against his pillows. "Okay…"
	I turned over to look at him. "I don’t mean that I don't want to talk about it..."
	"Well, it sounds like it."
	"It's not you, it's what you say," I persisted.
	"What I say? Well, that's me, Justin," he answered with a laugh. 
	I tried to make it like I had said it to Lance, but JC made it so difficult. "You make me feel stupid. Whatever I say, you're just like 'oh, well it's not true, you know' and I don't know… I feel stupid."
	"I don't want to make you feel stupid," he objected. "I'm sorry… I'm not always right, Just…"
	"Duh."
	"Hey…" He elbowed me with a smile. "In this case I think I am. Now, just listen to me. I see that look on your face…"
	"See what look? JC, it's pitch black!" I objected.
	"I know you're doing it," he answered confidently. "But the intention of this woman was to get you riled up.  She knew you wanted something and she wasn't going to let you get it. Or even ask for it. So she took the little facts that she knew about you—that you were still mad about Ashley, that you have a step-mom and two little brothers—and she turned things around so that it would get to you."
	"But—"
	"And she was successful. She's a con-artist, Justin."
	"But she knew so much, Josh…"
	"It seemed like it, but really she didn't. Unless you didn't tell me everything."
	"I did," I sighed.
	"She probably doesn't even know that you're getting notes, Justin. How could she? She's secluded."
	"She says she gets phone calls."
	JC shook his head. "If so they're monitored. But I don't think she even gets them. Did she mention notes?"
	"No," I admitted. "You always make yourself sound so right…" I complained.
	He smiled. "Cause I am right. But you're not stupid. Did you ever hear the expression, you can't see the forest for the trees?"
	I frowned. "No."
	"Well, it means that you're not seeing the whole picture. You could have a couple of trees around you, that you're focused on, but not have a clue that you're surrounded by miles of trees. You need an aerial view, or an outsider, to tell you. I’m your outsider. Get it?"
	"Yeah."
	"Nothing's going to happen to you. I promise."
	"What about Jonny and Steve?"
	"Nothing."
	"And Mom?"
	"Nothing." 
	"What if you're wrong?"
	"You said it yourself, I'm always right."
	"Okay." I nodded, not exactly trusting it. But I trusted JC so I took his word for it.
	"Can you sleep now?" he asked. "Have you slept at all?" 
	I shrugged. "I'll try. Can I stay here?"
	"Of course. Good night." He shifted down into the pillows and rolled over. 
	 "Night…"
	I waited several minutes, closing my eyes briefly but unable to put my thoughts to rest. I could tell JC was still awake, he kept moving every now and then, so I cleared my throat. "Are you going to make me see a shrink?"
	There was no answer and I thought for a moment that maybe he actually was sleeping. I was about to close my eyes again when he answered.
	"I don't know."
	"I don't want to," I replied. 
	"I know you don't," he answered.
	"That doesn't make a difference?" I persisted.
	"I don't know," he answered. "Don’t worry about that."
	Don't worry. Sure… Easy for you to say… "Why'd you even ask me?"
	"Of course we'd ask you, Justin… It concerns you…" he answered.
	"Well, I have no say in it? I'd rather you just knock me out and take me there rather than ask me and then tell me my input doesn't matter," I muttered.
	"Aw, you don't mean that… Your input matters."
	"You just said—"
	"Justin, what time is it?" he interrupted.
	I paused. "Like three something, I don't know," I answered dryly.
	"Good, then how do you think my mind is functioning? I have no idea what I just said," he answered. 
	"What about the stuff you said that I liked?"
	"You listen to that part. If something I say makes you mad, just say 'well, he's half asleep anyway'."
	I laughed. "OK."
	"Wanna sleep now?"
	"I guess…" I answered. "Good night."
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	Why is it that the phone had to ring so obnoxiously at such inopportune times? Like now at three o'clock in the morning? Why would any of the guys be calling now? It didn’t make sense.
	And of course Lance wasn't going to get it. God forbid the guy actually woke up to answer the phone. No… Of course not.
	So that left me, poor Joey, to get it. And after several minutes of fumbling around in the dark, I found it and did.
	"Hello?" I knew I must've sounded like crap. So what? I mean, whoever thinks that they can call at this time—
	"Hello, is Lance Bass there?" a man asked. I didn't recognize his voice and got a little suspicious.
	"Um, may I ask who's calling?"
	"Oh, uh, this is the front desk." The man cleared his throat and continued. "There's a package for him here? It's urgent. I know it's late…"
	I glanced at the sleeping Lance and sighed. "Alright, I'll let him know."
	"Tell him it's urgent."
	"Yep, I heard you the first time," I answered tiredly as I hung up the phone. I rubbed my eyes and got up, walking over to Lance's bed. I shook his shoulder.
	"Lance…" I started. 
	"Go away," he mumbled irritably, pulling a pillow over his head.
	"Lance, wake up, man," I requested as I yawned. "Dude, don't be annoying." I pulled at the pillow and got it out of his grasp. "Look, the front desk just called and they said they had an urgent package for you."
	"An urgent package…" Lance echoed. "What time is it?"
	"Like I know. I'm going back to bed. I think you should go get it though. The guy sounded pretty insistent. Must be important."
	Lance nodded, bleary eyed. He started to sit up and pull himself out of bed. "Okay… I'll go see what it is. Let me change quick."
	"Yeah, I'm going to sleep," I replied, slipping back into my bed. Sucks to be Lance. Hehe. 
 :-:-:-:-:
	Sleepily, I opened my eyes to turn over in bed to ask Lance what the whole thing was about and what the package was. It'd been a while since he'd went; I'd dozed off a little bit, but now I was curious.
	"Hey, Lancie, what was—" I broke off when my eyes registered in the dim light.
	His bed was empty.
	Frowning, I slipped out of bed and eyed his discarded blankets and comforter. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was eight-thirty. 
	Well, maybe he's up already.
	I walked out of the bedroom and searched the rest of the hotel room, including the bathroom and balcony, as I called his name.
	"How bizarre…" I murmured to myself. I was beginning to panic a little bit, even if there was no reason to. 
	Maybe Justin had woken up and called Lance over for something. Or maybe Lance just decided to hang out in their room.
	Or maybe there were a lot of fans downstairs and something happened…
	At three o'clock in the morning?
	I found sweatpants to slip on over my boxers and headed out the door barefoot to Chris's room. I pounded on the door without thinking. My mind was racing. 
	The door opened and a boxer-clad and rumpled looking Justin answered it with a nice dose of bed hair. He didn't even look to see who was there before dragging himself back over to bed and collapsing on it. 
	"Guys," I started loudly. 
	I critically eyed the sleeping Chris. He'd shifted to lay across the entire bed, tangled in blankets. In the other bed were Curly and a lump of blankets that I guessed was JC. 
	 "Justin, wake up JC for me, huh?" I requested. "Do you hear me?"
	He murmured something and I walked over to Chris, shaking his shoulder and pulling the blankets off of him.
	"I'm up, I'm up…" Chris complained, swatting at me irritably. 
	"Guys, this is very, very serious!" I persisted, growing frustrated as I noticed that Justin was more interested in rebuilding his nest under the covers rather than getting JC's ass out of bed. "Justin, what'd I just tell you to do?" I demanded as I walked over to him. 
	"I told JC to get up and he don't wanna," Justin murmured. "And frankly, neither do I."
	"It's important. It's about Lance," I continued as Chris sat up and I pulled Justin out of his covers by grabbing under his arms. I then began unwrapping JC from his own.
	"Justin, go to sleep now…" JC mumbled as I shook him.
	"Okay," Justin agreed.
	"Guys, listen to me!" I exclaimed. JC winced, as I was close to his ear. I shook JC harder. "JC, dammit, don't you want to know what happened? Guys, this is an emergency! Wake up!"
	JC cleared his throat and opened his eyes, sitting up and squinting at me. I flipped on the light above the table between the two beds, making him groan. 
	"Guys, Lance is gone," I started angrily. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I don't know where he is or—"
	"What happened?" JC demanded, now one hundred percent awake. He pushed the covers around him down. 
	"Joey, if you're playing around, it's not funny," Chris started.
	"Why would I play around?" I exclaimed, shifting over as Justin climbed up next to me on the bed silently.
	"What happened?" JC persisted.
	"I don't know…" I answered, shaking my head. Finally they were focused. "A little after you three came here, the phone rang and it was the front desk. They said they had a package or whatever for Lance, so I woke him up and told him about it and he went downstairs. I fell back asleep until about five minutes ago when I noticed he wasn't here. Wasn't back yet."
	"You're sure he never came back? He's not just out for coffee or whatever because he couldn’t sleep?"
	"I don't know," I admitted. "But I don't think he came back. I think i would've woken up."
	"Well, where could he possibly be?" Chris answered incredulously. "I'm doubting he's still downstairs…"	
	"What if they got him?" Justin spoke up for the first time.
	"Who?" I answered.
	Justin fell back and covered his head with a pillow, moaning. 
	I reached over to slap his leg, persisting, "Who, Justin?"
	"Justin, stop it with the paranoia. He probably just went down to the lobby and Joey, you're just putting the wrong two and two together and jumping to the wrong conclusion," JC answered.
	"I'm not jumping to any conclusions," I reminded. "I have no idea."
	Justin moaned. "This isn't happening."
	"I agree with JC," Chris started slowly. "Joe, you just woke up, right?"
	"Yeah," I agreed. "So?"
	"So maybe he just went out for a walk."
	"Did you check the balcony?" JC asked. "I always forget to check the balcony and that's why I always think that Justin's lost." He patted the pillow on top of Justin's head.
	"Well, I looked out there," I answered. "Everywhere."
	"What if there was no package?" Justin persisted in a mumble from under the pillow. "Who gets a package in the middle of the night?" 
	"Will you stop it?" JC retorted, pulling the pillow off of his head roughly. "You have to understand that you can't relate everything that happens in life to that. Nothing's about to happen to you and nothing's happening to us. So it has nothing to do with Lance." He ended his rebuke bitterly.
	I watched Justin set his jaw and shake his head. "Nope. You don't get it."
	"No, I don't, but let's not worry about that now. We're worried about Lance," JC persisted tiredly. 
	"His bed looks the same as when he left…. when I saw him last…" I continued. I slipped an arm around a somewhat scared looking Justin as the kid sat up next to me again. "So I don't think he's been back…" My voice shook slightly. "I don't know. I shouldn't have fallen asleep…"
	"We should go down to the front desk and ask about this 'package'," Chris started with a sigh. "Find out if it existed."
	"So did somebody do something to him?" Justin asked with a sniffle.
	"Of course not, J…" I assured him automatically. "Want to come downstairs with me?"
	"Yeah," he agreed. "I'll go." 
	"Okay, get some clothes on, and I'll be right back," I answered. "Gotta be decent. I'll meet you in the hall."  
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Lance missing?
	I knew this was some kind of mistake. He just got up and took a walk because he couldn't sleep or went to get a soda. Or something. Something else. Nothing like what Justin feared. 
	Although I couldn't disregard his crazy worries either. I just hoped that this was Joey overreacting a little bit. Justin just worrying too much. Because of course Lance was fine. We were just idiots. 
	Please, God. If I've ever needed anything…
	Lance was young but he was also one of the most responsible people I knew. He wouldn't just disappear. And surely he wouldn't  be stupid enough to pull something like Justin had those six months ago… He thought things through a little more than emotional Justin. He wouldn't leave the hotel without telling us.
	I laid back in bed, adjusting the pillow behind my head as Chris flipped channels and fidgeted nervously over by the television. We were in the 'too early to panic' state, but all were edging into the panic stage quickly enough. 
	I watched Justin out of the corner of my eye as he pulled on jeans and located a shirt to wear. He found his sneakers and pulled them on, tying them loosely and then stood, glancing at me.
	"JC… I'm going to meet Joey…" he said.
	"Don’t you two go anywhere other than downstairs," I started. "We don't need you guys disappearing too."
	"I know," he answered. "We'll be back quick."
	"Bye, be careful," I answered. I trusted Joey and I figured they'd be back soon enough, before I could worry about them too.
	I listened to the click of the lock as he shut the door and sighed, crawling out of bed to go over to Chris.
	"Whatcha thinking, Chris?" I asked as I sat down on the couch.
	Chris continued to flip channels, a dazed look in his eyes. "I don't know what to think. I'm scared. I'll tell you that much. I'm hoping there's nothing to be scared about, but I'm scared anyway."
	"You think somebody tricked him?" I asked. That was my fear.
	"You mean, you're dropping your 'he probably went for a walk' suggestion?" Chris answered wryly. "I don't want to think he was tricked, but that's what I keep coming back to…  I mean, when has anyone we know ever gotten a package in the middle of the night? An unexpected package?"
	"Me too, but don't tell Curly that," I answered. "He doesn't need that."
	"JC, dammit… Stop trying to hide stuff from him. Trust me, he's thinking it too. He's not incompetent. And none of us need it."
	"Well, he can think it but he doesn't have to know we do. He doesn't have to believe it," I answered as I crossed my arms over my chest. "He wants us to at least offer some sort of assurance." 
	"There's nothing else to believe until Lance walks through that door."
	JC sighed. "We don't need this. I'm not jumping to conclusions. There's nothing that they could possibly want from us. Nothing. It's stupid that they would target us again. Target Justin. It's ridiculous that any of this is even real."
	"I heard you and Justin up or talking last night…" Chris started. "Is he doing alright?"
	"He has a lot on his mind," I answered with a shrug. "I really don’t know. And he keeps showering."
	"Well, I'm personally glad he showers," Chris answered slowly. "It's a good habit…"
	I rolled my eyes. Then I yawned and shook my head angrily. "Jeez… Lance, where are you?" I wondered aloud. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I stepped out into the hall just as Joey was coming out of his room, in a sweatshirt and jeans. I shut the door behind me.
	"Perfect timing," Joey noted as he smiled.
	I nodded. "Yeah…" I was shaking. I hoped it wasn't obvious. If they did anything to Lance…. Anything at all… I swear to God. He was not involved. "Why would they do something to him?"
	"What?" Joey frowned at my spoken thoughts as he started down the hall. I followed. "Justin, nobody's doing anything to him…."
	"How do you know?" I retorted shakily.
	"How do you know?" he countered. "Who's they?"
	I bit my lip. "How do you not know?"
	"Look, Justin, the point is that neither of us know what happened, let's keep it at that and not jump to any conclusions just yet."
	"They're going to tell us that there was no package. I know it…" I murmured. "I know it. And I'm gonna die. But not before they die."	
	"I don't want you to come with me if you're going to talk like that." Joey stopped walking. "So if you want to, go back and worry about it to JC and Chris because I don't want to hear it."
	I stared at the floor, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. I couldn't help how I felt.. "Don't listen then. I'm talking to myself."
	"Go back."
	"What?" I looked up at him in surprise.
	"I don't feel like listening to you. I'm trying to find Lance. Go back or I'll bring you back."
	"Joey…" I started in exasperation. "I won't talk okay?"
	"Whatever. Then come and don't talk. I'm just sick of you talking about dying and people following us and now speculating about all this…" he muttered as he started walking away.
	"I'm not," I answered in objection as I followed.
	"What happened to not talking?" he retorted.
	I stopped short, considering actually going back. If he was going to be an asshole about it. After all, these were my thoughts. It wasn't like I was making this stuff up just to bother him. What happened to respecting honesty? 
	"I'm just kidding!" he cried, poking me in the ribs. "Justin, c'mon already. I'm just worried about Lance enough already."
	"Me too," I answered dryly as I went with him. We continued walking until we made it to the elevators. 
	"But you know, you have been talking about that crap. And it's not good. It's not good to focus on that."
	"Stop, I don't need this from you, Joey," I replied as I started forward to press the elevator button for down. 
	"I don't need it from you either. It's a little disconcerting… "
	The door opened and we walked in. "Well, it's just my thoughts. When I don't say nothing, people wanna know. When I do say something, it's nothing ya'll wanna here." I pressed the lobby button.
	"Yeah, well,we're all just a little concerned about how you went after that lady, Jus. That's all. And how you went there to begin with."
	"Yeah, well, I don't want to kill her," I answered. The elevator rumbled beneath us as it started its descent. 
	He looked at me in wonder. "Serious? You changed your mind?"
	I shrugged and turned to finger the shiny textile on the elevator wall. "I don't know."
	"Well, I mean, yesterday was really emotional…" Joey persisted. "We were all a little stressed. And we say things we don't mean and—"
	"No, I meant it."
	"You don't mean it now though?"
	"I do," I replied.
	Joey shook his head. "I don’t understand you."
	"Me neither." I shook my head. "I'll keep my mouth shut now." 
	Joey rolled his eyes. "Okay." After a moment's pause, he sighed. "Justin, seriously, now you've got me so confused and worried."
	"Worry about Lance."
	"Oh, trust me, I am," he replied. "I'm worried about everything." 
	We were silent until we left the elevator and approached the front desk. Joey took it from there as he rested his hands on the counter and told about how he was concerned about a package that they'd gotten a call about last night…
	"We would never call about a package at that time…" the woman at the desk answered, her elderly face registering worry. "Our patrons are most likely in bed at that hour and we don't want to disturb them… However urgent the package is."
	I watched Joey's broad shoulders stiffen as he drummed his fingers across the counter. "Do you know who we are?" he asked.
	The gray haired lady smiled slightly and nodded. "Of course."
	"Well, did you see one of us come down here last night?" he persisted. 
	"I only came on shift about an hour ago," she admitted. "I could find out who was on the desk at that time, though, if you'd like."
	Joey nodded. "Please."
	"I'll get you the information and call your room, alright?" she continued. "Is that easier?"
	"Sure."
	I couldn't help thinking that this was my fault. That wherever Lance was somehow was related to what I had done and what I had seen. I kept telling him everything. I kept putting him in the bad position. I selfishly made him help me and now look.
	I started to back away as Joey began giving her information and their cell phone numbers to call if they could get in touch with whoever was working. After a minute or so, he turned away from her. 
	"Ready, Curly?" he asked in a stiff tone as he started walking towards the elevators. 
	"Is Lance okay?" I asked softly.
	Joey didn't answer, just focused his full attention on reaching the elevators and pressing the buttons to press to go up. As he waited, he stretched his arms out in front of himself and yawned loudly.
	"Joey," I persisted. 
	"I hope they ordered breakfast while we were down here…" he said. "I'm starving."
	"Joey… did you hear me?" I persisted. "What else did she say?"
	The door opened and we walked in, Joey swiftly going to press the number of our floor. I reached around him and pressed all the numbers in front of it. One, two, three, four—
	"Justin!" Joey slapped my hand away from the panel. "What the hell are you doing? We'll be in here forever." 
	I gave him an annoyed look, and then reached for it again. Five, six— "You didn't answer me," I replied. "Now you have time to." Seven, eight—
	Joey pushed me away from it, and stood in front of the buttons, blocking them. The doors closed and we started up. Only to stop at the first floor and wait a few seconds for any passengers there. Joey muttered something taking the stairs.
	"Joey, you didn't answer my question," I persisted.
	"Because you're a God damn brat sometimes. Now we're going to have about a three hour ride up to the room thanks to your fascination with buttons."
	"Not quite three hours. I thought I'd give you a chance to answer," I replied.
	"Well, I haven't got an answer. I don't know what to think, Justin. What do you expect my answer to be?"
	"What if those people did something?" I began as the elevator closed and proceeded to stop at the second floor. 
	"Justin, let's not go thinking that yet, alright?" he replied, shaking his head. "That's all you've ever got on your mind… That's why I don't want to talk about it."
	"I know, but—"
	"No buts. Just shut up. I’m not in the mood."
	"Like I am? I just want to what happened to Lance," I replied stiffly.
	"We all do. Join the club."
	"Maybe if you hadn't let him go alone and had woken your lazy ass up," I began angrily. "Then maybe this wouldn't have happened."
	His eyes sparked. "What did you say?"
	"You heard me. How did that seem legit? Now those people might—"
	"Those people?" he echoed. "Those people? There are no 'those people', Justin. That was the past. Yesterday is over and done with. I don't want to think this has anything to do with that.."
	"But it makes sense… What else happened?" I persisted. "That's—"
	"Stop, there's nothing to prove that," he snapped. "Because it's all fictitious and because you had to take a day off yesterday. Because you don't understand anything. Because you're gullible. That's it. Stop jumping to conclusions."
	His response hit me hard. Sure I was being a little bit stubborn and cryptic lately. Sure I'd kinda given a hard time, but that was because I couldn't understand everything that was being thrown at me. That didn't give him the right to make false assumptions and spit them out at me. Maybe what I was afraid of wasn't true, but we didn't know that yet. 
	Joey got a disturbed expression on his face. "Justin, look at me and tell me th—"
	"No," I interrupted, not wanting to hear his accusations anymore. I cursed as the door opened. We were at level five now. Why'd I have to make this ride any longer than it already was? "I don't care. I don't care whether you believe me or not. I don't care what you think. I only care about Lance!"
	"Bullshit. Fine. Think what you want. Scare yourself and act like it's our fault. I don't know why you can't be easy with us during all this crap!" he exclaimed. "Jesus, Justin, I didn't expect this from you! I wouldn't have asked you to come down with me. This isn't just you now. It's about Lance."
	I bit my lip and glanced at the open door. I needed... air... 
	Air...
	Needed air.
	Without looking at Joey, I pushed out of the elevator and slipped through the closing doors. Screw him. Let him go upstairs himself.
	I made sure that the doors had closed and that he wasn't coming and then started door the hall, taking a deep breath. I felt my eyes begin to water.
	"I hate him," I muttered. "Hate them all." A couple tears slipped, despite my attempt to hold back, and I tasted the saltiness on my lips. 
	Why did this have to happen to Lance? Sweet, innocent Lance who never ever yelled and never got into fights with us if he could help it and was always there for anyone, expecially when I needed to talk to somebody. Where was he? 
	Please let nothing happen to him, God...  Please. I'll do anything. Anything at all if only you let nothing happen to him. I'll never even talk about that lady again. Never.
	But if something did happen to him... Anything at all. If he even says he didn't feel good, then I swear I'll rip every organ out of her body and make her eat it.
	Everything has a reason. Bullshit. There was no reason to any of this. Nobody understood. I couldn't understand.
	I stopped at a potted plant that rested by a couple chairs in the middle of the hall. It was so... perfect. The tall perfect ceramic bowl that came up to my knee and the perfect long leaves that flowed out from the perfect slender trunk of the perfect plant. 
	I kicked it experimentally. First just as a test. Just to get some anger out. But then all my fury welled up and I felt it burning within my chest, yelling to be released somehow. 
	In several minutes, I started walking away, surprised by the pain in my foot. I glanced back at the tipped over pot with the cracked side and dirt falling out onto the crimson carpet.
	Oops. Oh well. No more perfect. 
	I glanced around a little self-conciously, hoping no one had seen.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	Why was so much going on? It didn't seem right that we would have all this loaded on us, especially in one week's time. 
	It was bad enough that we'd gotten that note in the fan mail. That had begun Justin's deterioration back into the meek and cautious creature that we thought he'd rid himself of. Then I get this grand idea to let him face his nightmare. Man, was that a bad idea. Or wasn't it? I couldn't decide. I was too ambivalent about it. 
	And to top our youngest's transformation into a fearful, vengeance seeking monster, we now had a member of our group missing. Gone. Vanished. Without a trace or a clue. Sure he'd actually only been gone for several hours, but the whole ordeal with a 'package'??
	I couldn’t help but feel slight anger towards Joey. Why had he woken up Lance for this nonexistent package? This trick? Was it a trick? Who knew. But it seemed like it. It fit so perfectly. Joey could've gone with him, but no… He had to sleep.
	Oh, don't blame Joey. How would he have known? And why Lance would go alone in the middle of the night in the first place. That boy was crazy. Too trusting. Maybe this would give him a lesson in being more responsible with what he heard. 
	And JC… JC was near hysterics, I could tell. He was silent, watching the TV peacefully as he played absentmindedly with his fingers. Tugging at the edge of his shirt. Drumming his fingers against his leg. I could tell this was eating him up inside. On top of Lance, he was trying to figure out a way to help Curly. To make him understand whatever it was that he believed. 
	I studied JC quietly. His eyes were shining with unshed tears as he stared straight ahead, releasing an exhausted and worried sigh every now and then. He was almost going through the stress he'd had over Justin's disappearance over again.
	It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door and I realized that Joey and Justin were back. Hopefully they would've found something. Oh, God, I hope so. Maybe Lance was just scoping out the coffee or whatever in the lobby. Oh, please…
	"You want to get that or should I?" JC asked softly.
	I cleared my throat. "I'll get it, man. Just relax." I jumped up and went to the door, glancing out the peephole and seeing Joey. I opened the door.
	"Hey…" Joey greeted with a grunting voice as he pushed into the room.
	"Missing somebody?" I started, glancing around the empty hall out the door.
	"Don't even start about him," Joey answered with an edge to his voice. "I really can't even begin to—ugh, God! He's so…."
	"Well, where is he, Joey?" JC demanded, voice thin.
	Joey shook his head as he collapsed on the couch. I took a seat beside him. "Like I have a clue? Maybe on his way back?"
	JC moaned and hunched forward to bury his face in his hands. "Oh God… Joey, what are you talking about?" 
	"He's marching around somewhere, I don't know," Joey answered. He had a concerned look as he talked to the silent JC. "He's safe, JC, though… He'll come back when he's not mad and he thinks that I've calmed down. I'm sure he's on his way back."
	"You're sure?"
	"Mostly sure." 
	"He knows better, JC, he'll be back. But somebody's gotta call Johnny and tell them that we're canceling practice today. At least we don't have a show tonight," I started. 
	"And breakfast. Let's call for some breakfast," Joey said. "That's the only thing I can count on it seems." 
	"You can do it," I answered. "I don't feel like talking. I know you don’t either, but—"
	"I'll do it," Joey agreed. "No problem."
	"What'd the desk say?" I persisted.
	Joey paused, swallowing visibly. "Well… this person was on a new shift so she wasn't there that early, but… she said that they would never call like that about a package. Not at that time…"
	"But who knows," I answered optimistically as I sat back down and put a hand on JC's back. "That first person might not have thought that way and would have called."
	"Exactly," Joey agreed weakly. "I gave her our cells and the room number to call. She's going to try to get in touch with them."
	I nodded and stood up again, stretching. "Good. You order breakfast and I'm going to look around a little bit for Justin."
	"Alright, well just know that he's in a mood," Joey warned. "I dig myself a grave every time I'm near him apparently."
	"Wanna come for the walk, Jace?" I asked, patting the man on the back.
	"Nah…" JC leaned back, running his hands through his hair before folding them on his lap. "I don't feel like getting dressed."
	"Okay," I answered with a nonchalant shrug. I glanced at Joey, who had sat down and was now occupying himself by flipping TV stations with a scowl.
	I started towards the door, my heart and feeling heavy. I didn’t really feel like looking for Justin. He could come back when he wanted if he was going to act like this. I assumed it was his fault anyway, by Joey's reaction, but maybe that wasn't fair. Regardless, I had to get out of the room for a little bit and this was an opportunity.
	However, it turned out that I didn't even have to look for Justin. The moment I opened the door, I surprisingly enough found him there, sitting across from the door, leaning back against the wall. 
	I took a breath and shut the door behind me as he glanced up. I walked over to him and settled beside him comfortably. 
	"Is Joey back?" he asked.
	"Yep," I affirmed.
	"Oh, okay. I didn't know whether he decided to look for me or just come back," he answered softly. 
	"You know, Joey really didn't need that…" I started sternly.
	"I didn't need that either."
	"We're worried enough about Lance being gone, Justin. Why should you disappear? Even if you or him just got mad. I don’t know what you were thinking…"
	 "I didn't disappear," he objected. "I decided that I didn't want to ride the elevator with Joey, so I took the stairs instead."
	"He didn't know that."
	Justin shrugged. "I don’t care."
	"Well, Justin, it wasn't very responsible. We're trying to figure out what's happening and we don’t need you trying to attract attention."
	"I didn't want attention," he muttered, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling with a sigh. "That's why I stayed out here…"
	"Either way."
	"I'm sorry…" 
	"You should see, JC. He's really getting torn up over all this…" I continued. "He's just sitting in there, worrying…"
	"He's worried about Lance…" Justin murmured. 
	"We all are…"
	"Is he okay?" Justin persisted softly. "I didn't mean for this to happen, honest…"
	"It has nothing to do with you, Curly." Why the heck was he blaming himself over this?
	"But I started it…"
	"We don't even know if that's it," I replied. "This could be a coincidence. For all we know, Lance just went for a walk."
	Justin shook his head into me. "No… It's not… I can tell… What if something happens…?" 
	I listened to Justin start to sniffle as tears came to my own eyes. Lance…. I couldn't even imagine. I couldn’t even tell myself that he was missing. He was out for a walk. In my mind he'd be back in a little bit. 
	"Nothing's going to happen," I assured an uneasy Justin. "They never hurt you, did they? I mean, I know a couple of times she did a bit… but nothing permanent…" I reached over and stroked his hair. "So why would they touch Lance? He didn’t even see anything…"
	"Well, why are they doing anything?" he persisted. 
	I paused, uncertain of how to answer. "I don't know…. I really don't…. It'll be over soon."
	"You think so?"
	God, how could I promise something like that? "Yeah. And Lance'll come back and we'll forget anything ever happened. Just like last time." Before he could answer, I shifted and stood up. "This floor is killing my butt, so let's go inside, okay?"
	Justin wiped his eyes and smoothed back his hair as he stood up. "Alright."
	I knocked on the door tiredly and in a couple seconds, Joey pulled it open. He glanced from me to Justin, keeping his eyes on him for a moment or so, and then returned his gaze to me. "I just ordered breakfast."
	"Good, I'm hungry," I replied as I pushed in, Justin behind me. I wasn't really hungry but that would be a distraction at least.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	I wasn't thinking much.
	The past half hour or so for me had been the type of moments where your eyes drift to some unimportant or miniscule item and you remain focused unintentionally on it for periods of time. No thoughts, nothing. 
	Lance had disappeared. Now Justin was pulling his antics. Hopefully Chris would find him without much effort. It was bad enough we didn’t know where Lance is…
	It wasn't fair. 
	I couldn't focus though. I couldn't believe it. How, in such a short amount of time, so many drastic things could happen. It didn't seem possible.
	It wasn't fair.
	Lance. This was Lance we were talking about. I couldn’t jump to any conclusions, but for whatever reason he was gone or out, he didn't deserve it. I'd hate to agree with our biggest fear of what had happened but…. But somehow my heart was telling me that… what I didn't want to hear…
	I broke from my reverie as a big weight dropped onto the couch next to me and an arm pushed around my neck. I hadn't even realized I'd zoned out but now I blinked and looked at the curly hair pressing against me. Justin. Since when did he get back?
	"I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I didn't mean to disappear."
	I blinked and stared at him, wincing as his arm tightened around my neck. "Loosen up a bit," I requested hoarsely. "And you were gone for five minutes, it's okay…"
	"I shouldn't have left…" he insisted. "I didn't mean to hurt Lance…."
	Lance.
	Hurt.
	I swallowed. "You didn't." My voice broke. "Lance isn't hurt. Joey ordered breakfast. You hungry?"
	"No…"
	Lance could be hurt.
	Lance.
	Hurt. And none of us knew where he was.
	"What are you thinking?" Justin asked.
	"I'm not thinking…" I answered.
	"That's impossible," he persisted. "Even nothing is something. You have to be thinking. I'm thinking about Lance."
	I nodded. "Me too… He'll be back…" I looked away as I felt emotion rising in the back of my throat. This was too much. I could tell Justin had already been crying. When I looked at him his eyes were red and his cheeks flushed. But that was Justin. He was always emotional. Not me, I wouldn't do it. 
	I listened to Chris and Joey discussing which one of them was going to call Johnny about a break and I sighed, swallowing forcefully. 
	"I hate this…" Justin persisted. "I'm sorry…" 
	I swallowed and shifted in my seat, feeling his weight as he leaned against me. "We're all sorry about a lot of stuff…" I replied softly into his ear. "But we can't change anything now, right? All we can do is hope we find out where he is… And remember he hasn't been gone long." 
	"Okay," he sighed as he slipped his arm off me and sat back against the couch tiredly. 
	"Chris is calling Johnny," Joey announced, causing both Justin and me to look up at him as he approached us. 
	"What's he going to say?" I inquired as Joey sat next to Justin and put an arm around him, pulling him over towards him as if to quickly acknowledge whatever argument they had earlier was over.
	"Just briefly tell him what's going on. Which will be hard considering we kept the first time almost a complete secret from him… So saying it's back isn't going to mean much to him…" Joey chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. "Chris's going to try and postpone this week's concerts due to 'illness' and see where that gets us. They have to call the venue. We really have… what, just two more shows this week? We could see if we could reschedule them. Have a good week or so…"
	"That's stupid," Justin spoke. "How do we do that?" 
	"Stupid or not, we'd all be benefiting from it," Joey answered as he frowned at him. "You in particular, Curls, you need to sleep for about a week. Besides, we can't perform without Lance. Remember how hard it was for us when he was sick? Not to have him on stage? And we knew he was safe then."
	"But he's gonna be back in time…" Justin objected in surprise. "Isn't he?"
	Joey and I exchanged a look. How could we answer? We had no idea what was going on… No clue. 
	"Don't do that. Don't not say anything," Justin cried. "At least answer. What are you thinking?"
	"I don't know," I answered. "And Joey doesn't either. We have no idea…" I trailed off as I heard Chris's voice in the other room raise angrily as he talked on the phone. I couldn’t understand what he was saying though. Just that he was getting angry. I could just imagine. I was glad it wasn't me on the phone.
	Damn. What was going on?
	"You've gotta be thinking something," Justin persisted as he played with the edge of his t-shirt. "Answer yes or no. Did Lance just go for a walk?"
	"Justin, why are you doing this?" Joey demanded. 
	"Doing what?" Justin answered. "Huh? I'm just trying to figure out what happened. There was obviously no package." He wiped at his eyes with both hands. "So what happened? Where is he?"
	There was a sharp knock at the door and Joey jumped up at the opportunity to leave the uncomfortable conversation. "Food," he said. "That was quick."
	Justin's eyes traveled with Joey's motions as they shined with emotion. The door opened and Joey took the rolling cart from the man who was standing there with a few words and a smile. He signed the bill and handed it back to the man, who then left. Joey smile and pushed the cart over towards us.
	"Food…" he started.
	Justin shifted and slowly started to rise. "I'm thinking I'm going to take a shower, and get dressed, 'cause I'm not really—"
	"Sit, Justy," Joey interrupted. "I even got you cereal. I asked for it specifically just for you…" He held up a small Applejacks box. "Come on." 
	Justin trailed off and frowned guiltily as he took the cereal from Joey's hand. He sat back down reluctantly.
	"What else did you get?" I asked, watching as Joey took the platter top off of one of the plates.
	"Eggs, and stuff…." Joey replied. He cleared his throat. "Chris! Food when you get a chance!" he yelled.
	"Is there milk," Justin spoke up as he took a bowl and poured his cereal in it carelessly.  
	Joey smiled and held up a small carton.
	Justin frowned again and grabbed it. I could tell he was looking for an excuse not to eat so he could leave. 
	And what?
	Shower again?
	This was getting so ridiculous. I just wanted to get ourselves back in Florida and relax for a little bit…
	But now Lance… What were we going to do?
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	My stomach was yearning for food but somehow, looking at the continental breakfast in front of me, I just couldn't find my appetite. As much as I tried to pretend, there was so much on my mind.
	After an attempt to leave that I blockaded, Justin had settled to slowly eating his cereal. JC had barely moved since he asked what else I'd gotten for breakfast. 
	Chris joined us in a couple minutes with a stubborn/irritated look on his face, announcing that he'd just finished talking to Johnny.
	"What'd he say?" I asked warily. If the man hadn't given us time I swear…
	"We have the week," Chris answered as he walked by the couch and tousled Justin's hair. He took a seat in the arm chair beside us and sighed. "After a fight. He's not happy. He is on the phone with security now I think."
	"Did you explain about Lance?" JC asked softly from Chris's other side.
	"Yeah." Chris sighed. "I told him that Lance had disappeared, most likely not because of his own account. Johnny didn't understand it, but I didn't give him time to ask questions. I kept it vague. I'm not about to explain six months ago to him. We don't need to bring that up. It's over."
	"It's obviously not," JC spoke up dryly. 
	"Either way, I didn't feel the need to explain it to Johnny right now, JC," Chris answered. "I vaguely told him that a bunch of stuff from our past is coming back and it wouldn't be good PR if we let this week get into the public eye. Once I said that, he started to agree… He's gonna book us back to Orlando for the week. These two shows are going to be added to the end along with some meet and greets to make it up to the fans and press. They'll do refunds if people don't want to reschedule and put the rest back on sale."
	"We can't go back to Orlando," Justin objected, dropping his spoon into his bowl. It clattered. "I'm not going back."
	"Don't you want to see your mom?" Chris pushed the emotional aspect.
	"Lance thinks that we're here," Justin began shakily. "He is here. If he tries to find us or contact us, it'll be here. I'm not leaving."
	"What do you think he's going to call if he calls anywhere?" Chris persisted. "My cell phone or the hotel? I don't think any of us know the hotel number."
	Justin shook his head, persistent. "He's going to come here… I know it... We all know where the hotel is." 
	"Justin…" Chris persisted, looking at JC and me for help. We were both silent. "We'll leave a message at the front desk. We'll do what we can here to figure things out, but I don't know if camping out here is the best idea." 
	"The last message at the front desk was fake," Justin reminded. "There was no package. I'm waiting for him here."
	"No. You're not." Chris shook his head. "Three of us. One of you. I'm pretty sure you're coming." 
	"Not until Lance comes…" Justin sobbed, pushing his bowl of cereal onto the coffee table. "I'm not leaving until he comes back. It doesn't make sense to." 
	"Do you really think Lance would want you to sit here and wait for him?"
	"Yes," Justin answered, nodding. "He'd want us to wait for him. How's he going to get back? He won't have a flight or anything and he'll be stuck here…" 
	I cleared my throat. "Hey, Chris, you want anything to eat?"
	Chris looked at me in surprise and then glanced back at the emotional Justin. I gave him a look that meant we'd handle it later and he nodded. 
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	Darkness…
	Silence….
	My mind was blank. My mouth was dry. I was only aware of a pounding pain in my head and the fact that I didn't know where I was….
	Lance.
	Lance Bass.
	Okay, you know your name. That's a good start. But where are you? What are you doing here? Memory is okay… Remember everything… Everything except… except for the past night….
	Dammit.
	Think, Lance…
	A package.
	Went downstairs to get a package and…
	And then?
	I didn’t know. 
	I couldn't remember. 
	I moved to roll over and found myself bound. My hands and ankles were tied and I couldn't move. 
	Fear rushed into me.
	I felt nauseous. 
	What was going on?
	My eyes were open and yet all was black. I was tied. Where were the guys? Where was that package? Did I ever make it down to the front desk?  What happened?
	The pain in my head was overwhelming. I was too scared to make a sound. 
	I tried to think. I tried to find where I was. Where the guys were. I wished it were like one of those movies where the two people have a psychic connection and are somehow able to find the one that's missing…
	But my mind was blank.
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I laid on the bed and pretended to watch TV in what had been Joey and Lance's room as the guys got all their stuff together. I couldn't believe they were thinking of leaving. Just running away.  
	How would Lance know where to go? If I were him and I came back and found everything gone, I wouldn't know what to think. I didn't want to put him in that position. It wasn't right. Lance would be back by the end of today and apologize and tell us he'd just gone for a walk or something. I didn't care what Johnny told us to do. Johnny didn't know what was going on. 
	I jumped as a pile of clothes was dumped on me with a bag and I realized that it was my stuff. I sighed and pushed it off onto the floor, making sure to dump all the contents out of the bag as I did so. I was not leaving. No matter what. 
	"Justin," came JC's voice.
	"Hm," I answered, gluing my eyes back at the television. 
	"Be good and cooperate, will you?" he answered as he bent down and picked up my stuff, putting it back on the bed. He stuffed things back into the bag. 
	I grunted but didn't touch the stuff this time. I knew I still had some clothes in the other room as well. I wasn't about to go get it…
	"Want me to pack for you?" JC persisted. "I will if you want." 
	"No," I answered quickly. "Don't. I'll get around to it." It was a lie. I had no intention of packing. 
	"Well, get around to it soon because we have a flight to catch. Johnny booked us. We're not leaving Lance. We're going to help him, Justin," JC answered, his tone strained. "You're not the only one that's upset with this. But sitting here doesn't do anything." 
	"I'm just resting," I replied, closing my eyes. I knew we didn’t have a flight yet. So we—Or did we? Did Johnny really schedule a flight?
	"You have stuff in the other room too."
	"I know, JC."
	He muttered something and walked away. I frowned, feeling scared. I tried not to get all of my emotions wrapped up again, but every time I thought about it all, it just became overpowering. But I couldn't get upset now. Not until later when they would try to make me leave.
	The television was turned off by somebody and I sighed, rubbing my eyes. Chris was in the other room, I think. I only saw Joey and JC in here. Chris for once wouldn't let me get away with anything though. 
	Why was this happening? We finally get a week relaxation and it's because something horrible happens? Did that make sense? Could we get another week once Lance came back? I really didn’t understand any of this. I wanted to go back to bed and pretend that none of us had woken up yet this morning. 
	Why'd it have to be Lance? I mean, I love the other guys just as much and wouldn't wish this on them, but Lance was… Lance was different. He seemed so unassuming and optimistic. It wasn't right that this would touch him. 
	Another pile of clothes hit me. "Justin, I brought your stuff in from my room," Chris said.
	With JC gone, I pushed everything once again to the floor again and watched it fall into a mangled heap that yearned to be left alone. 
	"If you don't want to bring any clothes home that's fine with us," Joey called from across the room as he passed by the door. "You have a big enough wardrobe as it is." 
	I scowled and Chris sat beside me on the bed. "It's not going to work," he said.
	I looked at him. "What?"
	"This act. This not packing. It's not going to stop us from leaving. And us includes you."  
	"Okay." I nodded. "I respect your opinion."
	"It's not an opinion…" he objected. "It's a fact."
	I shrugged and sat up to look for the controller. 
	"We'll never find Lance if you keep this up." He shook his head.
	I sat up stiffly. "What?"
	"You heard me. We're making an effort here and you're not."
	"I'm not?"
	"No, you're not. Obviously. You're lazy. You're lying in bed. Not listening to anything."
	"Lance is going to come back any minute," I answered. "And I expect to be here."
	"Look, Curly boy, if Poofoo was going to come back on his own accord, he would have already. He wouldn't be making us worry like this. I think we're looking at something a little more serious this time around. So why don't you get off your sorry ass and help us."
	"I'm waiting for Lance," I replied. The end of his tirade has fizzled off and I'd paid no attention. I already had my mind set and it was not changing. 
	"Lance isn't coming, don’t you understand that?" he snapped. "I don’t want to sound blunt or like I want to accept that, but he is gone and we  have to find him!"
	"He is coming back," I objected. "Just wait. He'll be here." 
	"Justin… Geez… It's times like these that I can just see…" He shook his head. "Just listen for once. I swear, if you did we'd have no trouble at all. None of this would have happened if you listened for once."
	I paused. "So it is my fault." 
	"Justin, no. But just sometimes…"
	"You just said…" I trailed off. "God… If I didn't just… It's true…" I sighed and shook my head.
	Chris got up. "Don't be a baby. I don't have time for this. Pack."
	I watched him leave the bedroom and listened to the door shut. I was alone. I stared at the pile of belongings on the ground and closed my eyes as the image blurred.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	I gazed around the hotel room in wonder at how we'd spread ourselves out and littered it with our belongings… Hell, Justin and I had only been in this particular room for a couple of days and yet it looked more like it had been years. Even stuff under the bed. I reminded myself to check our initial room too…
	"Slight delay in case you guys hadn't noticed…" Chris started as he emerged from the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
	"Hm, let's see…" Joey started as he leaned against the door frame of the kitchen with a glass of water in hand. "Could it have anything to do with a lazy teenager with curly hair and a mode of vengeance?" He tapped his chin in fake thoughtfulness.
	"Give the man a prize," Chris muttered sarcastically. He walked over to plop down on the couch. "This is a mess. Maybe he's right."  
	"Hey, Joe, get me a glass of water?" I asked with a sigh.
	He nodded and ducked back into the room. I heard the water running and sat down beside Chris.
	"So…" I started.
	"So," he echoed.
	"What do you want to do?"
	"Want me to pack his stuff?" Chris asked. "Most of it's just in a pile anyway."
	"Don’t do that…" Joey objected as he walked towards us and handed me a glass of water. "Don't give him the satisfaction."
	"This isn't about us cleaning up after him," Chris replied. "Thanks for the water, by the way, Joey."
	He rolled his eyes. "You didn't ask."
	I ignored their playful banter and sighed plaintively. "Alright, so any plans on how we're going to be able to leave?" I asked. "Because we all know that it's best that we do. So we can focus on getting in touch with Lance…" I trailed off as I felt my voice getting weaker. "Whoever knows we're here expects that." 
	Face it, Chasez. He's gone. Not forever, but you have to deal with the fact that unless you guys do something…
	"We could leave Justin here," Joey replied. "I for one have no problem with that. If he would like to stay, then let him."
	"Joey, we don’t have time to joke around." I shook my head, frowning at him. 
	"I don’t know whether to agree with him or not—Justin, I mean," Chris admitted. "If he's going to put up such a fight to stay here, then it's not really worth it. And what if Lance does call back here? Remember when Justin ran off he left a message at the front—"
	"Lance didn’t run off," Joey objected. "This is different."
	"So we're admitting he was abducted now?" Chris scowled. "I don't want to. Sure that's a possibility—"
	"Why the hell is everything we say a possibility?" I exclaimed in frustration. "Why can't we admit to anything? Be sure of anything? I can't even tell Justin whether he has a right to be scared or not!"
	"Because that's all we have, JC. Possibilities," Chris answered in a solid voice. "We can't jump to conclusions, we can't make assumptions. And I'm sure we don’t want to either. Because if your assumptions are anything like mine, they are definitely the least desirable scenarios…" 
	"Of course we're thinking the worst," Joey assured. "That's only natural. Now Lance is a smart kid and we all know that. He's not going to do anything stupid and—"
	"It was stupid that he went down for this fake package!" I insisted. "He already did something stupid by doing that!"
	A look of regret passed over Joey's normally nonchalant features. His brow knit together in sorrow. "I know. I'm sorry, guys. I was tired and I wasn't thinking… Neither of us were thinking."
	"Oh, God, Joey, please don't blame yourself…" I began with a sigh. "Do you know how many things we all blame ourselves for? Like if I hadn't yelled at Justin when he'd run off that one morning… he wouldn't have been so terrified to tell us about what he'd seen and we could have avoided every moment of the last sixth months… Like if Chris hadn't snapped back at Justin, he wouldn't have had a radio thrown at him…" I watched Chris smile ruefully and shake his head. "Little things like that. Playing 'what if' is the worst thing to do to yourself. Because there is nothing that you can do about it now. Absolutely nothing."  
	"I know," Joey agreed. "But it's instinct. I should have gone with him but I didn't."
	"None of us would've. We would have gone back to sleep just like you had…" Chris assured. "None of us blame you, if that's what you're worried about."
	"So don’t blame yourself," I added quickly. "Lance wouldn't have wanted you to either."
	Joey's expression crumbled. "God, JC, don’t… do not say it like that."
	"Like what?" I frowned. "What'd I say?"
	"Past tense. Lance isn't gone, JC."
	"Jesus, I know that," I retorted, taking a deep breath. "I didn't mean it that way…" 
	"Okay, guys…" Chris soothed. "Let's just try to calm down and try to see what we have here, okay?"
	I wiped my eyes quickly with my sleeve, hoping they didn't notice. "Always the responsible one, huh, Chris?"
	He smiled. "Uh-huh." He cleared his throat. "Now, as for Lance, what can we do right now but wait a little bit, right? I called the police and let them know while you guys were getting your stuff together. Paul was surprised but he said he would start to look into it. He didn't want to think it was involved either. Now, I don't know what you two think, but I don't think it'd be smart for us to be here while they're researching. It's not good."
	"But for questions…" I started.
	"I explained about the package thing," Chris persisted. "We don't know anything else. Paul has my number. Look… I just don't think Justin—or any of us for that matter—can deal with being subject to them looking for clues…. Clues to find Lance."
	"Like any of us can deal with being subjected to him being gone?" I objected. 
	"Well if you put them both together, JC, it'd be worse," Chris replied. "We already agreed that we wanted to head to Orlando for the week."
	"I feel horrible going back there without Lance," Joey sighed. "Not knowing where he is… Or anything…"
	"They never hurt Curly," I started softly. "And if they wanted anyone to pay for anything… it would be him, right?" I swallowed. "So Lance they wouldn't touch. Maybe just hold him for a…. a deal or something… but… For that they would have to contact us. I mean, if it's them then it would make sense for them to contact us."
	"Let's not even think about it like that." Chris shook his head firmly. "Let's not consider them having him, alright? All we know is that Lance is missing and that we are going to go to Orlando for the week while the police do what they can. It's Lance Bass. It's impossible anyone would even be able to walk five feet with him without somebody screaming out his name."
	"So what are we doing this week?" Joey asked quietly.
	"We're getting Justin to face everything. See somebody. We're ending this," Chris answered. "It's these secrets and worries causing all this bullshit." 
	I smiled at Chris's assured tone. It made me lean a little more towards thinking everything would settle down in a few days. Lance would be back and we would all be together again. It felt good to have someone else reassure me. I was usually taking role as the leader of the group, so it was a little unsettling to sit back and watch someone else take control… but it felt good. Chris knew what he was doing.
	"JC, go get Justin," Chris started. "Get him to start packing up his stuff."
	"Me?" I widened my eyes. 
	Chris looked at me incredulously and rolled his eyes. "Man, for obvious reasons, yes, you."
	"Why?"
	"Because I just tried, and if Joey goes in there, Justin's getting his ass kicked and I don't think that's going to help." 
	"That's not true," Joey objected.
	I just gave him a look but got up nonetheless. Why'd they think he only listened to me? Well, I guess he did, but I wasn't sure about this time… We were close but apparently not close enough. I couldn't tell what was going on with him.
	 I couldn’t tell what was going on with anything actually… 
	I reached the bedroom and pushed the door open, closing it behind me as I slipped inside. The TV was back on and Justin was lying under the covers on the bed with a pillow over his head, a huge lump in the bedspread. Most of his stuff was on the floor by the bed.
	Sighing, I walked over to switch the TV off. He rolled over slightly, barely noticeable, and I cleared my throat.
	"Ready to go, Just?" I asked, knowing the obvious answer. "Come on, don't do this." 
	He didn't say a word.
	I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, patting the huge lump beside me. "You gotta understand, Just… We're leaving for a reason. We're not leaving Lance… You know that. Everyone's telling us it's better to do it this way."
	He grunted.
	Okay, so a form of a reply was good… Even if it wasn't intelligible. 
	"Did you get your stuff together or would you rather just leave it here?" I began again. "Because really, we have to go, man." 
	Another grunt.
	"Okay…" I slid off the bed and kneeled down to start pushing his stuff back inside his bag. I felt like an idiot actually doing this for him, but I knew he was having a hard time with everything, and I felt guilty that we were leaving too, so I figured I'd give him a little break.
	"Don’t…."
	I looked up and saw him sitting up, glaring at the work I'd done so far.
	"Don't?" I echoed. "Well, if you're not gonna do it yourself…"
	"Don’t do it for me," he objected as he got out of bed, leaning over to pull the bag away. 
	"Do you understand that we're leaving?" I started stiffly, letting him take his stuff. Then I began picking up and tossing the scattered things of his on the ground towards him. 
	"I'm just going to wait for Lance and then we'll join you," he replied mildly. "I mean, I know why you guys want to go to Orlando, but I feel I need to stay here." 
	Just like that.
	So suave a tone. So sure of himself.
	"Dammit, Justin, what don’t you understand?" I inquired as I snapped. "Things don't always get solved because you want them to and—"
	"Nothing's ever been solved," he interrupted as he pushed some clothes into his bag. Then he sat down on the bed again. "Nothing. Don’t tell me that's what I think, because you have no idea."
	"Nobody has any idea," I answered. "No idea." I walked over and sat down beside him. "What am I thinking?"
	He stared at me blankly.
	I waited for him to blink and then started again. 
	"Maybe I feel the same way as you. Maybe I feel worse. Don't you think that I should be pissed because you don't understand me?" I demanded. "I know you're upset. I know you're worried about Lance. We all are. None of us want to leave, but sometimes you have to do what's best. And this is what's best, Justin, whether it looks like it or not. Maybe I don't understand what you're going through, but don't put yourself on a pedestal because of your special, individual feelings. You sure as hell don't understand what I'm going through either. And Joey, and Chris…. And Lance. We all… we all don’t understand…"
	Justin had turned pale. "Don't cry, JC…" he whispered.
	I trailed off and reached up to touch my cheek, surprised at the wetness I found there. I looked at Justin and the fear shadowing his young eyes. His own tears had begun. 
	"God, Justin, I'm just as scared as you…" I managed. "I'm sorry…"
	He reached out and I enveloped him in a hug. He rested his head against my shoulder and sniffled.
	"I'll pack. I'm sorry," he whispered. 
	I took a deep wavering breath as I rubbed his back. "I'm just worried too. About Lance. About you."
	"I'm fine," he assured. "I'll pack, Josh."
	"It's not about the packing." I smiled and wiped my own eyes hastily with one hand, keeping another around Justin tightly. 
	"Yeah, it is," he insisted. "I'll do it. What about you?"
	I paused. "What about me?" I repeated.
	"Are you okay?"
	"Of course I am. I just want to get home and figure it out," I answered. "And that's what this week is for. We're going to find Lance." I pulled away and stood up, starting to walk away. I stopped at a couple of feet, feeling his eyes on my back.
	"Just finish up in here. I'm going to make sure I have my own stuff…" I said hoarsely. 
	I left before he could answer and shut the door behind me. I leaned against it for a moment and swallowed hard, closing my eyes. 
	A moment of silence.
	A peaceful second of solitude.
	I opened my eyes and pushed from the wood behind me to walk into the other room. I walked past Joey and Chris without looking at them and started for the door.
	"I'm going to just walk this floor a little…" I said softly. "I'll be back in a few…"
	"JC—" Chris began. "What about Justin?"
	I put my hand on the doorknob, refusing to turn. "He's packing. I'll be back." 
	"Alright…" Chris agreed reluctantly. "Be careful."
	I nodded and left.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	I watched JC leave and simply sighed. For a moment I stared at the closed door before turning my head back to the television.
	"What do you think happened?" Chris asked.
	I glanced over at the older man and noticed the worry in his dark eyes. "Who knows," I answered honestly. "As long as Justin's packing…"
	"Yeah, but JC just left."
	"Thank you. I hadn't noticed."
	"Joey…"
	I cleared my throat. "Chris, he's been anxious and edgy all morning. Just let him take a walk and cool off."
	Chris stood up, shaking his head. He started pacing several feet away. "We let Justin take a walk and he gains a stalker. We let Lance take a walk and he disappears. Now JC goes for a walk and who knows what—"
	"Chris, shut up," I retorted. "Just shut up, okay? I don’t know whether you're trying to be funny or what but either way I'm not impressed."
	"I'm not trying to be funny," he snapped as he stopped walking and glared at me. "For once, Joey, okay? Believe it or not…" He trailed off and walked over to the window to look out. 
	Great. Pissed him off too.
	"Want me to go after him?" I started in a softer tone. 
	"No, I guess he needs to be alone," Chris answered with a sigh. "I'm sure he'll be back in a couple minutes."
	I nodded, taking a deep breath. I leaned my head back and stretched my arms out. Noticing Justin in the bedroom doorway I turned in my seat to look at him.
	"Hey, Curly," I greeted. "You packed?"
	He nodded, and said, "I think mostly." I silently thanked JC's powers. Whatever he had done to convince him… I noticed the boy's eyes searching the room as he stepped out and read his unspoken question.
	"JC just went to walk a bit," I informed. 
	I watched a look of panic coat Justin's face as his mouth parted and he replied, "What?"
	"He went to walk. He'll be back in a sec." 
	Justin tried to look convinced. "Okay." 
	"You ready for Florida?"
	Justin nodded, and replied, "Yeah... I guess." 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:	
	I never thought we would get to this point. 
	Finally we were on the plane en route to Orlando airport. Two shows postponed and a missing member. Spirits weren't high but there was a unanimous relief that we had some time from the road to breathe, concentrate, and find Lance. There was no way we could have gone on stage without him. We also had the goal of getting Justin some help on the side. Our guards were relieved as well. Lonnie had mentioned the security fear. 
	I glanced beside me and noticed the sleeping Justin in the window seat. Always sleeping on planes. He looked relaxed at least. Of course it's a well-known fact that everyone looks carefree and younger when they sleep, but to me it was an actual reassurance nonetheless. His brow wasn't furrowed and his face was without worry. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I didn't care for a moment that he would remember everything when he woke up.
	I heard murmuring voices behind me and with my own restless mind decided to join JC and Joey. I unclasped my seatbelt and with one last lingering look at the boy next to me, I stood up and walked a step back to view the two friends. 
	I took a seat at the edge of the neighboring row. The first class section of the plane was empty aside from us and I wasn't sure about the section behind us. We had taken an oddly timed flight that wasn't crowded, luckily.
	"Hey…" JC greeted. "I thought you might be asleep too. We were just talking…"
	"Talking," I repeated. "Anything interesting?"
	"Just about him," he pointed the back of Justin's chair. "And Lance."
	Yep, interesting, I decided. Kind of important. I cleared my throat. "Well, what's the consensus?"
	"That by tomorrow all five of us will just be oversleeping in bed and Justin's mom will make us breakfast…" JC admitted. "That's what I'm hoping."
	"Dude, I said thinking," I insisted. "What are you really thinking? And did you even call Lynn by the way? I know Justin didn't."
	JC nodded. "Yeah. During my walk." He paused. "I told her what was going on and everything…" JC sighed. "Without trying to get her scared, which was hard. She's happy to be seeing us and wants us all staying with her, but she's really worried about Lance… She was going to call the rest of our parents to let them know, she said…"
	Joey nodded. "That's for the best….  You know... I can't get it out of my mind. Even though I refused to let Justin say they were involved... If they touch one hair on his head…"
	"I know, bass albino's from Mississippi are so rare…" I joked, trying to lighten the mood unsuccessfully.
	"They?" JC echoed, ignoring me. "They? Stop saying they. We don't know that's what happened."
	"JC, it's obvious they're involved… What should I say?" Joey objected apologetically. "I don't know where else he would be." 
	"It is not obvious," JC persisted stubbornly. Yet he made no effort to back that up. 
	"Now, what?" I started. "You don't want to talk about it?"
	JC shook his head as if not trusting his voice. 
	"Is that yes, you don’t want to talk about it? Or no, you do want to talk about it?" I persisted.
	JC's eyes met mine, glowing with emotions I'd never seen before. "I don't know," he managed. "I don't know anything."
	There were so many things we wished to take back… All of us had some event in the past that we regretted. Something that in our minds would have somehow prevented all of this. But playing the game of what-if is the worst game you can play. Because there's nothing you can do about what already happened.
	Nothing.
	We couldn't turn back.
:-:-:-:-:	
Lance
:-:-:-:-:		
	Humming….
	Who was humming? I couldn't recognize the voice. I didn't even recognize the song. Some peppy beat. Up tempo and happy. And off-tune…
	It didn't improve my disposition.
	I struggled and opened my eyes, shifting slightly in my bonds as my body woke up. An involuntary groan escaped my mouth as I felt the stiffness in my bones and cramped muscles.
	The humming stopped.
	I swallowed, attempting to get rid of the cottony feeling in my mouth. It was horrible and didn't help the hollow nausea in my stomach. 
	"So you're up…" came a pleasant man's voice.
	Pleasant?
	Pleasant?	
	Whoever it was had me bound by my ankles and wrists on a cold cement floor. He was not pleasant.
	The humming began again as I felt hands begin to do something to the binds on my wrists. I frowned, but then soon found myself being untied…
	"Sorry about the rope…" the man persisted. "Had to ensure that you didn't wake up and leave while I was gone. Not before we could properly introduce ourselves…"
	Ankles were untied next.
	"Go ahead and sit up if you can…"
	I blinked and stretched a little, testing my strength. I was a little weak but decided to go for it anyway. Somehow this whole situation had danger flashing all around it…
	Cautiously, I sat up and looked at the man now settled on the floor several feet away, commencing humming once again. He had dark, stringy hair. His skin was deathly pale in contrast, his face gaunt with a drawn expression.
	"Where am I?" I asked in a rough voice. I tried to clear my throat.
	Humming. No answer.
	I sighed and shifted over to look at what he was doing. My eyes widened.
	"Pretty pictures…" the man said in a thoughtful tone.
	I stared at the ground in front of where he sat. I was horrified. In front of him were about ten or so random pictures. Of us. Our group. Not just studio pictures or concert pictures, but raw, real life pictures. Pictures of us in a parking lot. Walking into a hotel. A picture of our hotel room…
	"What do you want?" I whispered with fear on the edge of my voice.
	Humming stopped abruptly. "Hm?" 
	"What do you want with me?"
	"You?" He let out a soft laugh. "Nothing with you…" He laughed once more before beginning to hum again. He started to rearrange the pictures and I noticed writing on them.
	I was slightly relieved that he claimed he didn't want anything with me… That was reassuring… But was it the truth? Because then why was I here?
	I squinted to make out the writing on the pictures. I noticed that in the pictures I was circled in blue marker. And Justin…
	Justin had a slash across his face in red. 
	My eyes rose to the man again, who was looking at the pictures contently, the tune once again drifting into the air. 
	"Who are you?" I persisted.
	No answer.
	I'd never seen a look like that before… On somebody's face. In somebody's eyes… It was as if he was… crazy… It terrified me.
	I licked my lips and started again, softly. "My name's Lance… What's your name?"
	The man looked up, his eyes dark. "I know you're Lance.... I'm Eric." He paused. "Or I used to be. I don't know what I said my name was today. What do you want to call me?"
	"Eric…" I repeated. "And who are you?"
	He smiled broadly, revealing his teeth. In a tone as nonchalant as Justin had been with his ludicrous statements the past day or so, he said smoothly, "I'm a butcher." 
:-:-:-:-:	
JC
:-:-:-:-:	
	"No. No way, man."
	I sighed, keeping my voice even. "But, Justin, if—"
	"No. Come on." The curly head shook indignantly.
	I walked further into Justin's bedroom and chewed nervously on a hangnail as I watched the boy collapse on his bed. 
	It had been an emotional afternoon. Lynn had been waiting impatiently for us at the airport. Not impatient because we were late or anything like that, but just in the sense that she was dying to see us and make sure the four of us were alright. Thank God she'd been home from vacation. If we'd come home and Lynn wasn't there…
	She was having a hard time dealing with Lance's disappearance, obvious from her red-rimmed eyes and concern. The curly haired middle aged woman was also having a hard time dealing with everything else that we began to tell her.
	She'd refused to believe that the son that had held her hand until we'd left the airport had revisited that part of his past. She knew only vaguely of six months ago. Just what we'd uncovered for her. Honestly, we'd left most of the details out for everyone. She had barely been aware of Justin's emotional state at seeing an armed robbery and the results of it. Forget his physical state. She had been so horrified at his seeing something like that… Telling her that they had actually touched Justin would have sent her over the edge. So over the phone before we'd come home, Justin had admitted to seeing a crime, leaving it at having "ID'd the bad guys". Claiming not to worry; it was over after a month or so and she seemed to stop being concerned.
	Even as overbearing and protective a mother that she was, a phone call didn't always reveal the whole story, as she was now finding out.
	As I spoke to her alone, her surprise at what she didn't know was slowly revealed. She was dismayed at what else had happened. Angry that he'd ever been alone. Upset that the son that always told her things had left this a secret. Regretful that she'd ever let him tour by himself. Appalled that I hadn't told her sooner. I told her that we were thinking of bringing Justin to talk to somebody, and although tears came to her eyes, she'd agreed with me. While Justin faced his own frenzied trepidation, we could in turn realize where Lance might be. 
	And that’s where I was now. 
	Mentioning it to Justin. 
	One word mentioned and he was belligerent.
	As soon as a "talk" or a new "someone" was mentioned, his offended and displeased tone returned and he refused to listen. He gained his notorious sulk and turned away.
	A swat of his hand to turn on his radio. Closing his eyes. That was his answer.
	"Justin, you don’t have a choice," I started as ventured over to look out his window. "You demanded the other day why I asked you your opinion if it didn't matter. Well, guess what? I'm not asking you now. I'm telling you. Thanks for allowing me to make that change."  
	"I'm telling you too," he persisted. "No."
	"You don’t even have a reason. It's something new. It's a different approach. It'll help you…" I pushed the window open a crack, allowing a small cool breeze to enter. "You need to talk about it with somebody and not keep it in anymore. It's not good." 
	"NO."  
	"It's like trying a new food…" I continued. I ran my finger along window pane. "You'll never know if you like it until you try it. So just give it one chance and—"
	"No. N-O, JC. No."
	"Justin… Curly… I don’t know what to tell you…" Don't get angry, JC. He's just upset. Try to understand what he's feeling… 
	I can't understand.
	How could I possibly understand? It was easy. It should be easy. Why was he so insulted by the suggestion? 
	I cleared my throat and pushed away from the window, walking towards his bed where he lay with a comatose look. "Give me one good reason why you don't want to go and maybe I'll reconsider, bro." 
	His head turned to look at me, leaning against his pillow with a bored look. "Just one?"
	Sarcasm. Wonderful.
	"If you can handle it," I retorted in the same tone.
	"Remember when you called the cops and had them 'come to me'? Instead of me going to the station?" he asked in a smooth tone. An assured tone.
	I didn't really remember but this was one of those situations where you just agree anyway so I nodded.
	"What happened?" he questioned.
	Uh-oh. I looked at him helplessly, unable to answer.
	"Remember he wasn't really a cop?" Justin persisted.
	Oh yeah… Although it was different, I sighed. Damn, he had an example. However irrelevant. "This is different." 
	Should've said you didn't remember, Shazam! 
	"How? JC, it's not."
	"But it is." I sat on the edge of his bed. "I'll do the whole thing with you if you want. Even Lonnie will. Lonnie'll never let anyone even look at you funny…"
	"I just… I don't really feel like I should… I shouldn't have to do it if I don't want to…" he began in a softer tone. "There's nothing the matter…" 
	I reached out to touch his cheek gently. "I know, Jus… It's just… I think it's worth a try… To help you forget the stuff that's scaring you. Like I said, I'll go with you…" 
	"Who is it though?" he asked slowly. "A guy, a girl? Name? How old are they? Where are they from? I mean, who will I be talking to? I can't just… I can't just tell a complete stranger about all this… What if they work Bop Magazine in the afternoon, and…. and something slips…"
	"Justin, no…" I shook my head and laughed. "Confidentiality is the key here."
	"What if they don't know that?"
	"Trust me, it's in their job description. In their contract. It's tattooed to their foreheads."
	"Really?" he smirked.
	"Shut up." I swatted him. "Will you do it…?" I watched his uncertain look. "For Lance, Justin?"
	A new look crossed his face. 
	"Lance was in favor of this, you know," I persisted. "And when he comes back, he'll be happy you tried."
	He swallowed, pausing for a minute. But then he replied slowly, "Okay." 
	As relieved as I was at his giving in, fairly easily might I add, I was frustrated that I couldn't decipher that look. I hated to use Lance in that way, but I knew he would understand. I knew he would agree. I wondered if Lance had ever tried to convince him of it like he said he might… Maybe that's what the look meant.
	"Thank you…" I continued, clearing my throat. "I think you'll be happy you went, Ju."
	He grunted and turned over onto his side. I got up and left his room, deciding it would be worth it to let him think things over himself.
:-:-:-:-:	
Chris
:-:-:-:-:	
	I glanced at the clock as I sat down with a glass of juice in the Harless's kitchen the next morning. I stared at JC in surprise at what he'd just said.
	"He agreed?" I asked. "Since when?" 
	JC ran a hand across his chin, which had grown a slight stubble over the past few days due to his lack of shaving. "Last night. I talked to him."
	"And he agreed?"
	JC nodded as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He went over to the cabinets and started getting out bowls.
	I stared at the back of his t-shirt, as he was turned away from me, in disbelief. "Was it as easy as you're making it sound?" I shook my head. "What is this, he takes advice from everybody but me and Joey now or what?"
	JC chuckled a little as he turned around. "Well…" he teased.
	"Well, don't I feel important now…" I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, dude, how'd you manage it? Justin was so set on not going to see anybody just yesterday." 
	"Well, we just had a little talk and it all worked out…" JC persisted as he placed a couple bowls on the table along with some spoons. 
	"Just like that?" I persisted, incredulous. I knew for a fact Justin could be one stubborn and obnoxious ass if he wanted or didn't want something. So I couldn't understand how he'd suddenly given into this. Something that had made him have a fit when mentioned. "What'd you say?"
	JC's eyes clouded over at little bit as he pursed his lips. "Well, I told him to do it for Lance… And then he stopped arguing."
	I nodded slowly. "That's okay, JC. Whatever works."
	"Maybe I shouldn't have tied in Lance though… I just felt a little wrong about doing that…" JC admitted with a sigh and a shrug. 
	I was quiet for a minute and then slid my chair back to stand. "Well, I guess I'll go get the three stooges to come down for breakfast." I froze, eyes widening in shock at what I'd said. "I mean, two stooges…" I fell silent, not sure what to say. "I mean…"
	JC shook his head, lowering his gaze. "Just go."
	Wanting to kick myself at my mistake, I started out of the room and upstairs. How could I have used a phrase like that when obviously… Ugh… It was just something so natural to say that… Oh well… 
	I reached Justin's room and walked in, flipping the lights on. "Hey, Curly, wake up…" I greeted. It was eerie to be back home…
	"Curly," I insisted, staring at the mound of blankets on his bed. I reached his radio and flipped it to what I knew was an awful country station. Not to pass judgment on country music, but this station I knew for a fact only played songs that had to do with tractors and hunting. 
	Once sure it was at the right station, I turned the radio's volume up to a considerably loud setting.
	"Wow Justin, it's your favorite song," I persisted as I pulled the blankets down from his body. "How the heck did I plan that, huh?"
	As Justin began to moan obscenities at me, the radio screamed about a 'derned' possum that wouldn't leave no matter how many times 'this here' tractor 'gosh darn runned' it over… 
	Pushing his radio further from his reach while he was in bed, I left the room, humming to myself. 
	I reached the guestroom that Joey and I had shared, there being two beds. The man was still peacefully asleep. Peaceful, that is, aside from snoring that could wake the dead. 
	"Joe, wake up," I said loudly. 
	He murmured something and turned his head to the side.
	"Joey…" I repeated, approaching to shake his shoulder.
	"What?" he asked in a deep and groggy voice.
	"Don't make me get Justin to wake you up…" I warned.
	"No thanks…" Joey smiled wryly as he sat up and ran a tired hand through his hair. His brow creased and he glanced toward the door. "What is that horrible music? Is that Justin's room?"
	"Yep." I smiled. "The boy's decided to explore different genres of music."
	"Well, tell him to stop exploring," Joey demanded. He slid out of bed and stretched his arms above his head with a loud yawn.
	"Speaking of Curly, guess where JC's convinced him to go?" I continued.
	Joey looked at me with confusion.
	I rolled my eyes. "Guess who he's decided to talk to?"
	Grinning, Joey started, "No… Really, he did it?"
	"Yep." I nodded.
	"Well, finally some good news," Joey sighed.
	"Let's hope," I answered. "Who knows what's good anymore." 
	"I thought he didn't wanna go," Joey persisted as he searched the room for a t-shirt to pull over his bare chest. 
	"Me too." I shrugged. 
	Joey pulled a shirt over his head. "Well, as long as he's going, I'm not about to ask what changed his mind."
	"I wouldn't even mention it actually…" I replied slowly. "Don't act like it's a big deal. I feel like he could pull out at any second."
	"Why would I?"
	"You have the tendency to tease."
	"Well, not about stuff this serious," Joey objected. "I won't. I swear."
	"Good. I don’t want to have to kick your Superman ass…" I flashed a smile.
	"Oh?" He laughed dauntlessly. "You and what army, Shorty?"
	"Hey…" I defended with a laugh. "Let's not leave JC downstairs alone too long. The old man might have an attack or something."
	Joey grinned, but before he could answer me, his eyes shifted to the doorway. "Hello and good morning, Fuzzy."
	Justin ran a hand self-consciously over his mop of curls that obviously hadn't been touched since he'd gotten out of bed, and glowered slightly. "Chris, why'd you do that?"
	"Do what?" I frowned.
	"You know, put on that damn country station again," Justin persisted as he tugged at the front of his dark sweatshirt. "You probably woke up my mom and the neighbors." 
	"So does your screaming when I wake you up any other way," I replied with a shrug. "It's a no-win situation." 
	"But now I've got a song about possums stuck in my head."
	"Better than that pimping/spending shit that you usually listen to," I insisted with a combative smile. 
	He rolled his eyes. "I don’t always listen to that, you know. I listen to—"
	"Other stuff too. And today was possum day, congratulations. The neighbors, your friends, and mommy are up, let's move past it, shall we? I'm hungry," Joey said in interruption.
	Justin let out an annoyed breath and stalked out of the room. 
	Joey laughed. "He doesn't look like he's gonna want to go anywhere today…" 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I trudged downstairs from Chris and Joey's room, annoyed mostly because of the song now stuck in my head with the damn one stringed banjo and cracking voice echoing my every step. Why does he think it's funny to do that? Scaring me to wake up is not the way…
	I reached the kitchen and found JC alone making toast. "Hi…" I managed.
	"Greetings, earthling," JC answered as he fumbled with the buttons on the toaster.
	"Greetings, space cowboy," I answered, rolling my eyes. I noticed the stray cord to the toaster… "Plug it in, man. Mom must've unplugged everything when she went away."
	Pausing, JC muttered something and then stuck the prongs into the socket. "Ya know, Curly…"
	"Just 'cause I'm smarter than you…" I teased. 
	"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," he replied. "Want some?"
	"No. If you can't even plug in a toaster, you ain't making me anything," I retorted as I went to the cabinets to look for what else we had to eat, specifically cereal. 
	After a moment, JC began again. "You ready for today?"
	I frowned. "Today?" I took a box out of the cupboard.
	"Yeah, today," he answered pointedly. "Today as in the day that you go and talk to—"
	"Today?" I exclaimed. "Today, today?"
	"Yep," he replied. 
	I slammed the cereal box on the table. "I never said today… Why today, JC?"
	"Because we obviously don’t have much time before we get back on the road again," he answered in a patient tone as he drummed his fingers against the counter, waiting for the toast to pop up. 
	"We have… like, tomorrow…" 
	"Justin, I'm sorry, but you agreed and—"
	"Not on a day." I pouted. 
	"When did you think? Next year?"
	"I can be optimistic, can't I?" I retorted.
	"I'd like to see you optimistic," he answered. "Today's the day. You promised me. You swore. You vowed. You gave your word. I trusted you. Feeling bad yet?"
	"No." 
	"You going to go?" he persisted.
	I sat down heavily at the table. "If you really want me to…" I muttered.
	"It's gonna help, bro, just see. You can have a whole hour or whatnot devoted just to you…" he continued.
	I stared at him. "That's what Lance said…"
	He paused. "So you and Lance did talk about it…"
	"A little," I admitted. 
	Voices announced the arrival of Joey and Chris as they barreled into the kitchen just as JC's toast popped up.
	"Yo, man, that's looks good… Can you make me some?" Joey pleaded as he looked at the toast.
	"It's stale bread," JC replied, trying to dissuade him so he could just sit down.
	"Yeah, and it'll have melting butter all over it…" Joey licked his lips. "Mm…" 
	JC sighed and handed him the plate, giving over his toast. "Here you go, Joey darling," he said in a sarcastic voice. "Anyone else before I make mine and have to give it away again?"
	"Sorry!" Joey exclaimed as he sat down and grabbed the butter that had already been out on the table. 
	"So what are we doing today?" Chris asked. "And, no, JC, but thanks." 
	I watched JC start the toaster up again and poured myself some cereal. "I'm getting my head shrunk."
	Chris smirked. "Good boy. That ego was getting just a wee bit big."
	I glared. "Whatever."
	"You're gonna go talk to somebody, man? That's cool," Joey replied with a smile.
	Gee, Joey, could your approval and support be any more fake? I knew he was sincere but just didn't know how to display it. I gave him a look. "Yeah, it's fantastamundo," I replied back in the same tone. Well, maybe a little more sarcastic.
	"I wasn't teasing you, kiddo…" Joey answered in somewhat of a hurt tone.
	"I know, I'm sorry," I muttered, picking up my spoon. Oh how was the rest of this day going to go…
:-:-:-:-:
	Was that it?
	Had I really survived it?
 	Typical leather chair—not couch, thank God, that would have been way too stereotypical—along with the nice big desk in the corner. However, Dr. Ruthers, or Haley as I had been told I was allowed to call her, sat in a chair across from mine. I guess it was to make me feel comfortable. Like we were on the same 'level' or some shit like that. I could see through the techniques.
	She was nice enough. Dark olive skin, dark hair so tightly tied back I swear she must've had a headache, a beige skirt suit, no jewelry aside from small gold hoop earrings and a watch. And these blue blinking eyes that were boring into me. She was about thirty something.
	At first my gaze was around the room. I'd decided I couldn't look her in the eye. At the abstract paintings and light colored walls. The big window behind her desk. The bookshelf against the opposite wall…
	Then I realized that making eye contact would probably be better. I knew that all these gestures and whatnot 'told' her something about me. So I tried every extreme I could. First my eyes darted around the room nervously as she talked (about what I had no clue) and my leg bounced up and down 'nervously' as I drummed my fingers against the armrest of my chair. I modeled myself after Chris.
	Next, I stared her directly in the eye, sitting stiff and straight, making sure not to blink too frequently. This seemed to unnerve her; she began to tap her pen against her pad of paper.
	Did I mention that? The pad of paper? GEEEEZ. What the hell was with that? It was like I cleared my throat and it was scribble, scribble, scribble with her ink all over the lines that I couldn't see. So annoying.
	So, so annoying.
	"Well, Justin…" her patient, syrupy voice caught me from my reverie into my present state. Yeah, I'd looked at the clock to see that the forty minutes were up. Yes!!
	"I think we had a good first session, don’t you?" She didn't wait for a reply before continuing. "Well, I think we got the preliminary stuff done, like what you're here for and that you understand that this is all confidential…"
	She seemed at a loss of words and was giving me a weird look.
	What, lady? Come on! I wanna go to lunch!
	"Justin, whose here with you, hon?" she asked, closing up her little notebook and standing. She walked over to her desk and placed it there.
	Oh, God, how I wanted to run over and grab it, just to see what she'd written…. But how could she have written anything? I mean, I barely even said anything. 
	I remembered she asked me a question. I cleared my throat. "Lonnie."
	"Who's Lonnie?" she persisted. 
	"My bodyguard," I answered.  "He's a big guy."
	"Can you go get him for me? You can wait outside."
	I stared at her in surprise. "Okay…"
	"I'll see you soon, Justin."
	I nodded and got up to leave, glancing back just once before slipping through the door. I found my way down the hall to where there was a very small waiting room. Lonnie was lounging on the couch, his head tilted back and his eyes closed. He looked funny and kind of out of place. 
	I walked over and stood in front of him for a few seconds. He didn’t notice. 
	"Lonnie!" I said loudly, hitting his knee.
	The black man said up abruptly, blinking as he focused on me. "Done?"
	"What help would you be…" I started. "What if someone was attacking me?"
	He smiled. "I was hoping."
	"Aw, shut up." I scowled. "The lady wants to talk to you."
	He frowned. "Why? What'd you do?"
	"Nothing."
	"You piss her off?"
	"No, actually, I didn't even… Yeah, well she wants to talk to you. Hurry up. Can we go to McDonald's or something after? I'm starving." 
	"Sure, sure.... Alright, kid, just gimme a minute. Don't leave this room."
	I walked over to the magazine rack in the corner. "Wouldn't dream of."
	I watched him leave and then collapsed in a chair. How productive the past hour had been... I'd opted for Lonnie to take me because frankly I didn't want any of the guys with me. They would just ask too many questions. Chris and Joey would try to make it funny, and JC would be overly concerned and too attentive. I couldn't deal with that. 
	This place was nice enough though. In the waiting room were the chairs and magazine rack along with a fish tank and a receptionist window, which no one was behind at the moment… I wondered where she'd gone. Green carpets, yellow walls. Yeah, ugly. But nice enough. Clean. And it was a private and quiet independent practice. I didn't have to really worry about anyone seeing me.
	I rubbed at my eyes as I stretched my legs out, heels of my sneakers digging into the carpet as I slouched down. Too tired for this. Why had today felt like a year?
	Lance… I wanna talk to you. Where are you? I've got nobody to talk to…
	Did he know how much he was missed? I couldn't stand it much longer…
	"Okay, Justin, let's go…" came Lonnie's voice as he suddenly reappeared.
	I looked up at him walking towards the exit and jumped up out of my chair to scramble after him. "McDonald's?" I asked.
	No answer. We walked down the hall in silence. 
	"Are we gonna go or what, Lon?" I persisted.
	He sighed. "Justin, why?" he asked as he held the door open for me.
	"Why what?" I asked innocently as I walked past him to the outside world. I stared at the path beneath my feet. 
	He followed me out and we walked down the path towards the parking lot. "She told me you didn't speak once. Not once during forty minutes…" 
	"That's not true. I said some stuff… Like… that you were here and stuff…" I answered. 
	"Justin, that's ridiculous," he retaliated. "What's the matter with you? Did you not understand the concept of being here?"
	"There's nothing wrong with me," I defended. "Lonnie, please. You're the last person I expected to—"
	"Is that why you brought me with you? So you wouldn't get hollered at for it? Well, guess what…"	
	"What happened to confidentiality!" I exclaimed in interruption. "Why'd she tell you what I did? They promised that nothing I said would leave the—"
	"Well, you didn't say anything, did you?" he demanded. "Right?" 
	"So?"
	"Were you nervous?"
	"No. What's the big deal?"
	"The big deal is that… Well, even when we tell you to shut your fat mouth, you never do for a second, and now when you've agreed to come talk to somebody, you can't seem to open it," he answered irritably. "Car's over here." He pointed once we reached the end of the path.
	I was silent.
	He sighed. "Boy, I just can't understand it… How anyone puts up with you." 
	I sighed. "I never promised to talk. I promised to come. That was hard enough."
	"So you were nervous?" he persisted. "I mean, if you're nervous, I understand. But to do that just to be difficult.." 
	"No." I shook my head. "What's the big deal? What's she know?"
	"A lot more then you think."
	"I doubt it." I set my jaw as I reached the car and waited for Lonnie to unlock it on the driver's side. Once he did, I slid in and put my seatbelt on.
	Lonnie got in and started the engine. "Okay, now I just want to try and relate to you here… Justin, I'm sorry I wasn't there when any of this happened. I should've been but I wasn't, so I can't relate on that level…"
	"How could you have been there?" I shook my head. "I ran off."
	"Well, if I'd handcuffed you to something like I'd been advised to in the beginning…"
	"What?" I stared at him in horror. "Who advised you to do that?"
	He raised his eyebrows mysteriously. "Who didn't…" he teased.
	I grunted. "Whatever. But that in there was just… I didn't feel I had anything to say. Lonnie, I've gotta trust her first."
	"What's there not to trust? Her damn credentials are pasted on every object in the building. You know how many recommendations JC went through to find her name?"
	"That doesn't make a difference," I replied. "And you know it."
	"Alright, Justin, I give you that. Fine. But not talking at all?" He drove out of the parking lot. "How's that work?" 
	"Can we get McDonald's?"
	"I'll get you drive-thru," he relented. "Just chill."
	"Love you," I answered. "I'm starving."
	"Well, after burning off all that energy from imitating a rock back there, I'm not at all surprised," he replied sarcastically. "The guys are going to be so disappointed in you."
	I narrowed my eyes. "Confidentiality? Am I the only one who understood that part of the conversation? I feel cheated."
	"I'm glad she told me."
	"Yeah, yeah." I stared out the window at the passing blurs of cars. 
	He paused. "How do you feel after it though? You gonna go back?"
	I chewed on my lip. "I don’t have a choice."
	"You gonna talk?"
	"Maybe I'll just sing for her for forty minutes or sign autographs for her extended family. Does that tell you how excited I am to talk to her?"
	Lonnie glanced over at me and sighed. "Justin, why? She's a professional… She wants to help you. She seemed very nice…"
	"But she doesn't understand. She's a middle-class, average, working woman who probably isn't married, doesn't have any kids, lives in suburbia and has barely any stress besides deciding what skirt she'll wear tomorrow..."  	
	Lonnie chuckled and I continued, "So I'm just wondering how she can help me deal with something that she's barely even seen in the movies. You know?"
	"Yeah, kid, I do. But I'm pretty sure she's deeper than that. But you'll never know if you don’t try. And after a few times, if you don't feel it's helping, you can stop going."
	"Can I?" I replied sarcastically.
	"Sure. I swear. I'm sure anybody would agree." 
	"Serious? Then okay."
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:	
	Chris burst out laughing and I looked across the table at him in wonder as I unwrapped the burger in front of me. Lonnie and Justin had arrived back at the house about ten minutes ago with McDonald's and Lonnie was recounting his conversation with Justin's psychiatrist.
	Psychiatrist? Why's that sound so bad? To say he went to one? I mean, there wasn't anything wrong with that, of course, but it wasn't easy to say…
	"So she asks me…" Lonnie was saying. "'Is he shy? Not good with strangers?' And I gave her this look and was like, lady, that's Justin Timberlake you've got in there. What you talking about?" He shrugged. 
	"You were silent for almost an hour?" Chris persisted incredulously as he stared at Justin. "You?" 
	Justin shrugged, mouth full of fries.
	"Look, I gotta go, guys," Lonnie started. "I'll check up with you later." He tousled Justin's hair. "Bye, bud."
	"Bye," Justin replied. The rest of us said bye as well.
	"Justin, that's so ridiculous…" JC started. "How could you not talk for an hour?"
	"That's what I wanna know!" Chris chuckled.
	"I don’t mean that it's impossible for him to keep his mouth shut, I mean why would he want to," JC retorted.
	"Same difference," Chris replied.
	"Because she was weird," Justin answered.
	"Weird?" I spoke for the first time. "I doubt it. You're the weird one; that's why you were there."
	He turned his head to glare. "Whatever, Joey. I wasn't there for any other reason other than Lance asked me too."
	"JC asked you to," I corrected.
	"Lance asked first. Like you guys told him to." 
	I shook my head. "Fine, whatever. If he did. So how do you think he feels that you went there and gave the woman the cold shoulder?" I persisted.
	"Look, nobody ever told me I had to divulge everything… You just told me to go… Just to go and I did. Told her I understood what she said, sat there, whatever."
	"Common sense, Curly," JC muttered.
	"I think it's funny," Chris started.  It was typical of Chris. Always defending the baby. No matter what. Ugh. 
	"It is not funny," JC persisted angrily. "You're never going to learn, are you, Justin? I just can never understand you…"
	"I'm gonna go back, what's the big deal..." Justin pushed his chair back angrily, yet didn't get up. 
	"The big deal is that you can't just go there if you're not going to try. Are you going to talk next time?" 
	Justin nodded with exaggeration. "It was just a test."
	"With what? Her, us? What, Justin?" JC continued.  
	"I don’t know," he muttered. "I don't think ya'll should know what goes on in there anyway."
	"It's fine," Chris persisted. "You went. It was just the first time, it's fine." 
	"No," Justin objected, rubbing at his hair. "It's not fine. Ya'll are mad I won't go, then I go, and ya'll are still mad."
	"It was kinda funny," I started, trying to break the tension. I mean, if JC seriously thought that this one visit was going to have fixed everything or made any progress already, then he was the one that should be seeing the shrink. Things didn't change overnight. "Kind of impressive." 
	Justin smiled at me a little and I smiled back. 
 :-:-:-:-:
Lance 
:-:-:-:-:
	A butcher.
	Butcher…
	Needless to say, I didn't sleep well.
	After that blunt statement, still humming to himself, 'Eric' gathered his pictures and himself and left me. The lights were flipped off and I was left in this room.
	Pitch black.
	At least I wasn't tied anymore. I could move around.
	But move around where?
	I couldn't see and unfortunately I hadn't been born with a keen sense of direction. And even if I had a slight sense of it, I had barely gotten a chance to look around at my surroundings before the light was turned off. 
  	The brief conversation had left me shaking and I honestly wasn't certain I even wanted to move. 
	I convinced myself to however. I found myself actually smiling as I remember Justin 'bravely' leading me up the dark stairway as we went up to the roof and related this to that. 
	But this was nothing like that. This was so different. 
	So after several moments of taking baby steps around in the door like an idiot and not finding a way to get out, I'd settled back down on the cold concrete floor with tears in my eyes and decided the least I could do was try and sleep.
	Try.
	So that was last night. Back to the present. Remember yesterday with Eric fixing around pictures on the floor? 	
	Same thing.
	Still humming?
	No, now he was muttering to himself. I couldn't decide whether this was better than the off tune melody or not…
	What was he saying?
	I couldn't figure it out. Something about monsters.
	I sat up, stretching my arms above my head and out to the side, feeling my bones undo their kinks from a night sleeping on cement. 
	Nausea greeted me as I looked around the room and noticed just the one door. There was probably no way out. 
	I slid on the floor slightly, inching towards the man out of curiosity. I wanted to hear what he was saying…
	"He who fights…" murmured the man as he rearranged the pictures. "He who fights… I am… Never gaze…"
	I cleared my throat softly, trying to give the impression that I was awake. Slowly he placed down the last picture and looked up with piercing black eyes.
	"He who fights monsters…" he said in a low voice.
	What? Me? I fight monsters? What did he mean?
	I always considered myself to be good with words and understanding… but this I just couldn't… I mean, what was that supposed to mean?
	"Lance…" The man's eyes left mine and dropped down to a picture. His finger dragged along its edge and up the image of my body. He smiled and looked up again, his eyes hollow. "Lance."
	Fear encompassed me. I wanted out.
	Out. 
	I now had an idea about how Justin had been feeling. What had been haunting him. 
	Oh God…
	He'd had this hovering over him for the past sixth months?
	I would've… I would've… I don’t even know…
	"I…" I began, voice cracking. "I need to go to the bathroom…" That would be a way out.
	"Don't gaze for too long…" he whispered harshly, to the pictures, not me. "Don’t gaze… lest you become…" 
	What?
	What the hell was he talking about?
	Anger rose in my gut, mixing with nausea and fear. "I need to go to the bathroom," I repeated, louder.
	Eric began humming again, starting to put all the pictures into a pile. 
	After a moment of incessant humming, I gathered up the nerve to stand up. I was a little weak on my feet; I hadn't eaten in a while after all… And I was stiff… 
	I stood still, awaiting a reaction as I kept a wary gaze on the eerie man. 
	Nothing.
	I started walking towards the door.
	Still nothing.
	Something was wrong. Could it be this easy? Why wasn't he stopping me? I mean, he'd had me in bonds the other day… Surely he wasn't about to let me walk out of her like this…
	He did.
	I couldn't believe it.
	But he did.
	My moment of glory was short-lived. Once I opened the door and slid out, breathing a false sigh of relief, I realized there was no where to go.
	This was just another tiny room. With no windows. And one door. This one had a padlock on it that asked for a code.
	Great.
	Dammit.
	I turned back without a choice and reentered the room. "I really have to go to the bathroom," I said stiffly. With a slight pause, I persisted, "Hey, Eric!"
	He looked up, picture in hand and simply should his head. "No, you don't."
	Okay, true. I really didn't. But how the hell did he know that? So I could try and lie. "Yes, I do."
	He shook his head. "Pretty pictures… Don't gaze too long…"
	"Well, I hate to break it to you… You've been gazing a pretty long time," I snapped. I was growing anxious. Claustrophobic. Hungry. Cold. Mad. You name it. 
	He looked up, eyes sharp. "Then maybe it will reverse."
	"Reverse what?" I shook my head, not understanding.
	Eric stood up, grabbing a picture roughly from the floor and walking over to me. I shivered and resisted the temptation to back up.
	He's not going to hurt you…
	The mumbling idiot won't hurt you…
	Yeah, how do you know?
	"Look." He shoved the picture in my face. It was a picture of us sitting in what looked an airport. Chris was eating. Joey was sleeping. JC and I were talking. And Justin was…
	Justin was looking straight at the camera, as if he'd known they were there.
	I shivered again, suddenly feeling very cold. "I'm looking. What for?"
	"What do you see?" he demanded, shaking the picture slightly for emphasis.
	"I see… my friends. What am I supposed to see? I see that you invaded our privacy. I see you had no better things to do with your time than follow us around and—"
	"Shut up," he hissed. "Shut up. Do you hear me?" He pointed us out. "Joey, JC, Lance, Chris, and Justin." He growled and repeated, "Justin…" 
	"So?"
	"How about what I see? I see my life!" he exclaimed. "I see my wife's life! Ruined!"
	Whoa, hold up here… Wife? 
	So the lady person that Just had been talking about… and who he'd gone back to see… That was this guy's wife?
	Interesting.
	Twisted, but interesting.
	"Your life ruined?" I retorted, feeling bold. 
	"Yes! Our life! My beautiful angel is in jail! All because this child…. This antichrist… He decided that he needed to rip us apart and tear our whole being into shreds!"
	"And what do you think you're doing to him?" I replied.
	A small smile spread across his thin lips. "If the same than I admit I'm pleased… That was our goal…"
	Oh. 
	"Well, sorry to disappoint you," I snapped. "The only thing you've gotten from Justin right now is his attention. And he has a very short attention span so don't feel so special. It won't last."
	He scowled. "You just said."
	"I said nothing," I answered.
	"Shut up!" he yelled again.
	I flinched back and took a step.
	"This!" He waved the picture around. "This is the monster! This must be eliminated—She is in jail! For nothing! He framed her and—"
	"Framed?" I started vehemently. "Framed? I don’t think so. It was clearly proved that you were the cause of a child and an elderly woman's death!"
	"We gazed too long!" He shook his head and looked at me, almost pleading. "We gazed too long."
	"Yeah, well, I don't know what kind of excuse that is…" My voice wavered. "Why am I here? What do you want from me?"
	"You? Nothing. I just want to tear Justin's life a little bit more. Thread by thread until the seams are gone and—"
	"Where am I?"
	"Why would I tell you that?"
	"It's not like I can leave or contact anybody anyway," I pointed out.
	"Oh, you're allowed to contact," he objected.
	I stared. "Oh?"
	He nodded. "Of course. A non-traceable call from a missing friend without a location is just the thing to put a dent in Justin's happy world." 
	Non-traceable.
	No location.
	Oh, God… Where was I? Please tell me. Give me a sign…
	Hell, I would give a phone call a try anyway…
	Maybe I could figure something out.
	Maybe if I made him mad…
	"Do you know what happened to your wife?" I asked.
	He looked up from the picture and into my eyes with his dark burning coals. "What happened?" he repeated quizzically.
	"Justin and her were reunited briefly…" I persisted slowly. 
	"What?"
	"He visited her in jail," I replied. "And he got to feel what it was like to have his hands around somebody's neck… And see their life drained. Just like you guys did."
	"Liar!" he exclaimed. "Shut up!"
	"She's not badly hurt, don't worry," I persisted.
	"He never saw her! He wouldn't do that! She wouldn't… She couldn't… Stop gazing!"
	"They stopped him in time," I assured. 
	"Shut up!" he yelled as he tore the picture in half. "Stop making up this and spitting it out at me!" 
	Little pieces of me and my group fluttered to the ground, twirling and spinning before they fell to the floor.
	The man had turned around and stalked over to his spot on the floor, humming loudly. Frantically. As if trying to have just that melody fill his mind. And nothing else.
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I closed my eyes to the music, as if trying to have just that melody fill my mind. And nothing else.
	I wonder if anybody else does this.
	This is how I stop my pain.
	Music. Don't just listen to the song, that's not what helps. That won't do anything for you. Focus on one particular part. In harmony, pick one voice out of the blend and follow it throughout the song, concentrating solely on picking up every note of that one part. Pick an instrument and do the same. Focus on the tempo and drums. Focus on the melody. Concentrate on one part.
	It puts me in my own little world. My escape. 
	Everything had cleared from my mind and I was in a trance as I laid on my bed, hands behind my head and eyes closed. Nothing entered my mind. I couldn't feel my body. I couldn't remember where I was. What day it was. What time it was.
	In the back of my mind of course I did. I knew JC was in the other room talking to Paul. I knew that Lance was somewhere unknown to us and maybe unknown to himself. I knew that Chris and Joey had gone out to get Subway. I knew I had an appointment tomorrow to see Haley again. 
	A warm hand stroked my cheek and suddenly I felt it coming back. Slowly, where I was dawned on me and the memories flooded back and I lost track of the beat in the song.
	"You asleep, baby?" a warm woman's voice asked. 
	I forced a smile up at my mom. "Hi, Mom.... No. I was trying but it's not working."	
	"Okay, well I won't disturb you, but I just had some stuff for you…" she started as she sat on the edge of the bed. "I know you hate getting fan mail here, but I just had a couple of envelopes that I'd gotten and you know I never have the heart to throw them out…"
	I laughed at her and accepted the small pile of envelopes. About six or seven, not too bad. I could manage. "I don’t know how they get this address. But it's okay, I'll read 'em."
	She smiled. "You don’t have to. I just don't want to be the one to throw them out."
	"No, no, I will read 'em," I insisted, reaching over to put them on the small table beside my bed. I turned back and noticed the look in my mom's eyes. I frowned. "What's the matter, Mom?" 
	"Justin, I just… I just want you to know I'm here too… I like to think we're close… And I know it's hard because I’m not on tour with you anymore, but I'm always just a phone call away and I'd drop any work I have to be with you…"
	So that was it. "Mom…"
	"No, let me finish. Justin, I love you. You are the most important thing in my life and realizing that there's so much about you that I don't know about…"
	"You know it all now though," I objected.
	"Do I?"
	"Mom, I'm sorry…" I began pitifully. "It wasn't just you. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't even think about it myself. I didn't want it to be real… I'm sorry. If I had to do it over I would've called you the minute I got to a phone…"
	She sighed. "It's okay… Get some sleep, sweetheart…" She stood up.	
	"You're not mad at me, are you?" I objected. "I should've told you." 
	"Justin, I've never been mad at you your whole life and you know that… I'm just worried about you, that's all…"
	"It's almost over," I promised. 
	She half smiled. "I hope so, baby."
	I nodded and watched her leave and shut the door behind her. I sighed heavily and reached for one of the envelopes. These better be nice letters.
	Lance always gets the nice letters…	
	Lance…
	I sighed again and started to rip the top of the envelope. I slid the piece of paper out and unfolded it.
	As the words focused in front of me, I froze.
	No…
	Not again…
	Grabbing the letters, I jumped out of bed and yanked the door open, darting towards JC's room. His door was shut but I entered, anyway.
	"JC!" I started quickly but cut myself as I noticed the man was on the phone. He held up a finger to his lips from where he sat on his bed and I sighed impatiently. 
	"Well, we didn't think so either…" he was saying into the phone. Most of what he was saying was 'yeah' and 'I know'. Neither interesting nor informative…
	I traced my finger across JC's dresser and walked over to the window, looking out at the hazy sky. My heart was pounding. Come on, dude! Get off the phone.
	"Hurry up," I whispered, turning around and glaring at him. He rolled his eyes but seemed to start wrapping up the conversation regardless.
	"Yeah, so as long as you're looking into it, I guess…" he was saying. "That's all we can do. Yeah, we are. Okay. Right, bye." He clicked the cordless phone off and tossed it next to him on the bed. "Whattaya want, Curly?"
	I walked a couple feet closer and tossed the letters towards him. Most of them sailed to the floor. "Mom said these had come and she thought they were fan mail, but they're not. I just opened one and I didn't really read it, but I could tell and how do they know where I live?"
	JC got up and walked over, crouching down to grab one. "Postage mark says it's two and a half months old. Lynn must've held onto them for a while…"
	"Well that's just dandy, isn't it?" I replied.
	"Pick them up, Justin," he answered, walking over to throw the one he had in the garbage. He hadn't even looked at it. "I was on the phone with Paul just then…" JC started. "In case you were wondering."
	Wait a minute here…
	Was he just going to ignore the letters? Didn't they mean something?
	I went with it. Maybe he was right. Two months was a long time. 
	"Oh?" I answered as I jumped on his bed and stretched out. "What'd he say? That they're at Dunkin' Donuts right now but when they get the chance to put down their donuts they'll look into what's going on?"
	"Justin…" he rebuked. 
	"It's true! They haven't helped anything that's been going on!" I exclaimed. 
	"They've done a lot, Curly. They're the ones who put that lady in jail."
	"They didn't find her though. I did."
	"She found you," he corrected.
	"Same difference." 
	"Without them she'd still be lurking around."
	"Well, her colleagues are still lurking around," I answered. "It doesn't do me much good."
	"They're in the middle of trying to find them too."
	"So in other words, I should try to find them?"
	"Justin… jeez… why am I even trying to prove it to you?" he muttered.
	"I don't know," I replied sarcastically, smiling so he wouldn't get defensive. 
	"Okay, Justin, look…" he began, walking over and sitting at the foot of the bed.  "I'm admitting to you that these people exist. I'm admitting that I think they have Lance. For once… I'm saying everything you've feared is probably true."
	I paused. The atmosphere suddenly changed. He wasn't supposed to say that… Even if it were true…
	I cleared my throat. "Now tell me why."  
	"I'm working on it." He patted my leg. "For some reason they want your attention."
	"But—"
	"Is that Chris and Joe? I think they're back…" JC said quickly. He got up abruptly and walked towards the door, saying "They said they wouldn't be long," before leaving the room.
	I sat there a minute, confused. But then I just shrugged everything off like I was used to doing and followed him out the door.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"Mm… smell that bacon?" Joey was saying as we walked through the front door of the Harless house with soda, subs, cookies, and chips. Joey had been talking about how good the bacon smelled ever since we'd gotten into the car.
	"Joey, you got the chicken," I teased.
	"Did not! Don't even try it," he replied. "That BLT is mine. Hell, two of them are mine… I am so starving…" 
	"We should do a Subway commercial, wouldn't that be awesome?" I answered, shutting the door behind me and waving at Lynn, who was in the kitchen. "Hey, Justin's mom, we're back!"
	"Subway commercial?" Joey answered skeptically. "How 'bout… not?"
	"Free BLT's…"
	"Hm…"
	"Hey, boys," Lynn greeted with a smile. "Let me take some of that from you. I was just about to set the table."
	"Thanks," Joey replied as Lynn took one of his bags.  
	"Where's Dumb and Dumber?" I asked, following the two of them into the kitchen and setting my stuff down on the table. 
	"Justin was trying to sleep, if one of you want to wake him—"
	"And live?" Joey muttered.
	"—and JC was on the phone," she continued. 
	"Not anymore!" came JC's voice as he appeared in the doorway, Justin behind him.
	"Mm… Bacon smells good…" Justin murmured as he walked over to give his mother a quick kiss on the cheek before going to the cabinet to grab plates.
	"Well, we got you tuna," I joked.
	"Did not! Don't even try it," he replied.
	I looked over at Joey in awe, surprised at how the two of them had used the same expression. "Stupid minds think alike!"
	"Hey!" Joey objected. "Hey, look, Just, we got a two of every type of cookie…"
	"Every type?" Justin smiled. He put six plates on the table and then started to put them out when he noticed there were only five of us. Muttering to himself, he grabbed the extra plate and stalked over to put it away. I frowned. 
	"Justin, careful." Lynn frowned as her son put the plate back so hard it sounded like it almost broke. "I'm actually going to go to the store, so you don't need a plate for me either. But I'll put it back," she added quickly, rescuing the plate. "Have a nice lunch, boys. I'll see you in about an hour or so."
	Justin nodded and sat down at the table.
	"Bye, Lynn!" Joey exclaimed, waving at her as she left. He unwrapped his sub and shook his head. "Hey, Chris, tell them how much you paid for lunch."
	I laughed, remembering. "Guess first," I insisted. 
	Justin counted the sandwiches and drinks, his brow furrowed in concentration. "How many cookies? And how much did each—"
	"No, that doesn't matter," Joey interrupted him. "Just guess."
	"Twenty," JC replied.
	"Twenty-one." Justin smirked at JC.
	"Nope and nope." I shook my head.
	"More or less?" Justin asked.
	"A dollar ninety nine," Joey replied.
	"Dollar less?"
	"No. The whole thing cost that much."
	"No way." JC stared at them. "You're kidding, right?"
	"She didn't speak English very well." I started laughing. "And when I told her I had a coupon… Well she just started canceling out things."  
	"Which Subway is this?" JC asked with a chuckle. "The one just in town?"
	I nodded. "Uh-huh." 
	"There was no tax either." Joey cracked up. 
	"That's horrible that you didn't say anything," Justin began. "She'll probably be fired now…"
	"I don’t know why they hired her to begin with!" I exclaimed. 
	"Three words," JC answered. "Equal opportunity employment."
	"Imagine how much money they're losing?"
	"She makes a good sandwich…" Joey said through a mouthful of it. 
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	At least an hour must have passed.
	Alone.
	In this plain room with nothing but several shredded pictures of myself and my friends that I was too disgusted to even look at.	 
	Alone with this afterglow of insanity that still lingered after the man's angry withdrawal from it. I wanted to know where'd he'd gone. I wanted my fear and trembling to stop. I wanted to make my phone call…
	So the second the man returned, that was the first thing I planned on asking. He'd told me I could after all. So I had my hopes up.
	But when he returned… with that dark look in his eyes and his hollow features… I started to hesitate. He had no pictures this time. He just sort of stood there.
	Do it, Lance.
	Do it.
	"Um, Eric…?" I started slowly.
	He turned his head, eyes connecting with mine. "Yes, Lance?"
	The way my name rolled off his tongue so easily, as if he'd known me for years, caused a shiver to run down my spine… 
	Do it.
	"You said I could use the phone?"
	He smiled. "Certainly."
	"And I can call anyone?" I asked. 
	He began walking away and I followed. "Of course. You have no idea where we are."
	"How do you know?"
	He laughed, a hoarse sound. "Oh, think you can get me worried that easily? I know that you have no idea."
	Damn.
	"If you say so…" I replied nonchalantly—or at least I hoped—and gave a shrug. He didn’t seem the least bit amused.
	We reached the second door where there was the padlock with a code. I watched intently as he fingers flew over the numbers. I caught about two of the numbers. One and three. But that was it. Dammit. There were about seven.
	The door opened and I was surprised and a little bit unnerved to see that we were in what looked like a regular house… 
	But where?
	We walked into a room with dark mahogany furniture, a blood red couch, cream walls, and bookshelves. It looked like a living room of sorts. He pointed at a table next to a couch and I noticed the phone sitting there innocently.
	"They're at home," he said. "I'll give you your privacy. Don't think of going anywhere." He started to walk away.
	"What?"
	He turned. "Don’t go anywhere. I have the whole house set up with cameras and  so—"
	"No, before that." I stared at him wide-eyed.
	"Oh, I said that they're at home. Wouldn't want you trying to think of hotel numbers. They're at the Harless's."
	"Oh." I tried to feign a 'well of course' look but didn't pull it off too well. All I could think of was how the hell he knew something like that…
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	I passed the ball, bouncing it against the hot pavement before darting behind Joey's defense. Justin caught the ball and demonstrated his abilities with an impish smirk, dribbling through his legs easily and moving closer to the basket as Chris eyed him and the ball. He'd always had a natural way on the court ever since he was little. A little cocky though… 
	Chris moved forehead and instead of going for the ball, reached to pull at Justin's patterned bandana. It slipped slightly down over his forehead and immediately the boy forgot about the game. Tossing the ball to the side, his hands went up to his hair. "I can't see!" 
	"Time out?" Joey laughed as he reached down and stopped the rolling ball.
	"Aw, man…" Justin scowled at Chris and pulled the bandana off his head. "You messed it up." He fumbled with the knot.
	"I know, and it took your mama three hours to get it in right…" Chris teased. 
	Justin got the knot out and started to smooth it out to put back on his head. "My mama's not home."
	"Oh, that's right. Took you six hours."
	"Screw you."
	Chris poked Justin in the ribs, causing him to mess it up again before he could tied it on his head.
	Isn't it funny how in the face of a crisis, you can take a couple minutes to pretend everything is alright again? How human nature can so easily put things to the back of its mind, or find a distraction? I knew for a fact that this basketball game in Justin's driveway was doing little to make any of us forget about what was going on in our lives. Getting sweaty in the hot midday sun could barely do that. But roughhousing for a little bit did let us concentrate on something else at least. 
	Justin jumped on Chris, tackling him to the ground. I winced. Hot blacktop. Must feel nice… 
	"One on one?" Joey joked, passing me the ball.
	"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes. "You'd get your ass kicked, Joe."
	"Not Superman!" Joey scoffed. "I got height on you, Skinny."
	"Well, I got my mad skills," I replied.
	"You sound like Curly."
	"Hey!" Justin objected from where he fought Chris. "No he doesn't!"
	"Isn't the pavement hot, guys?" I asked as I bounced the ball over by where they were wrestling. "Hm… Who shall I hit?" I dribbled the ball around them.
	Just then I noticed the sound of the phone ringing inside. I glanced toward the house and then nudged Justin with my foot. "Your phone's ringing, Justin. It's your house so scram and pick it up."
	Justin muttered something but lifted off of Chris and scrambled to his feet. He darted off towards the house, door slamming behind him.
	"You're lucky, Chris. JC's funding the Save the Senior Citizens Foundation," Joey laughed at the grimacing Chris. "Else your ass would still be on the pavement." 
	Chris stood up and brushed himself off. He picked up the bandana from the ground and started to put it on his own head.
	"Real cute, Chrissy," Joey teased. "Stick to your headbands."
	"Yeah, yeah," Chris muttered as he finished the knot in the back and flashed a grin. "You just wish you could look this good."
	"I don’t have to wish," Joey answered. "I was born this way."
	"Well, God had off days too."
	"Hey now…" 
	I laughed at them. "Well, guys, as you argue over your perfection, I'm gonna grab something to drink. You want something?"
	Joey nodded as he sat down on the basketball and stretched his legs out. "Anything." He pulled up his t-shirt to wipe his sweaty brow.
	"Does Justin have any Gatorade?" Chris asked. 
	I shrugged. "I'll check. I'll be back."
	I entered the house and headed for the kitchen. I was dying of thirst and was glad that we'd gotten a chance to take a break.
	I stopped short in the doorway when I noticed Justin leaning against the wall with the cordless phone to his ear. He was flushed and had a deer in headlights look on his face.
	"Justin, who's on the phone?" I demanded, walking over to him in concern. My immediate thought was Lynn. Had something happened? "Curly?"
	Justin looked up with obvious pain. "Lance…" he whispered. 	
	I stared at him in shock as it registered and put my hand out. Justin obediently handed over the phone and started to walk away but I grabbed his wrist.
	"Hello?" I lifted the phone to my ear.
	"Justin, it's not that—JC?" Lance began. "What happened to Justin?"
	"I took the phone. Where are you, Lancie? What's going on?" I demanded, slipping an arm around Justin's waist as I heard him take a labored breath. 
	"I don't know…" Lance answered earnestly. His voice sounded strained. As if he was holding back tears. 
	"Does who I think have you?"
	There was a pause and then a whispered, "Eric. Justin should know."
	"Who is that? I don’t get it. Why?" I persisted. "You don't know where? How are you on the phone?"
	"Try to calm down, JC. Please… I don't know where I am… I don’t know why or how… Some house with this man. He's letting me make phone calls…"
	"Has he touched you? If he hurt you in any way…"
	"No, I'm fine. Perfectly fine, JC. I'm more worried about Justin... He's the one they focus on. Is he okay?"
	"Of course. He's got us. But you, Lance… We need you back here. I talked to the police, but how are we supposed to know? Can you call back when we can trace you?"
	"You can try but he says that its not able to be…" Lance replied softly. 
	"Well we'll try," I answered harshly. "Dammit, Lance, we need you back here." I let Justin pull out of my grasp and patted his back before he walked towards the table. "How did this happen?"
	"I don’t know… I… I don't really know anything right now…"
	There was this lost tone in his voice. This sad, lost tone. He was scared. He was alone. 
	Oh, God, Lance…
	How do we reach you?
	I glanced over and saw Justin was walking—well, pacing—the kitchen, mumbling to himself. 
	"Lance…" I started helplessly.
	"Wait… I have to go now," Lance began. "I'll—"
	"No. Don't go. You can't. Don’t leave me hanging. Tell me what to do first…"
	"I'll call back tonight," he persisted. "Give everyone my love. I'll see you soon."
	"But, Lance, what can—" I stopped when I heard the click and the dial tone. "Dammit." I slammed the phone down on the counter. 
	Dammit!
	Damn, damn, damn!
	I turned around. Maybe Curly'd had better luck. 
	"Justin, did he say anything to you important?" I turned and sighed when I got no answer. How the hell would he know? His mind was obviously every which was as he paced the kitchen. "Justin," I persisted. "That's not helping anything."
	"I can't help it…" Justin moaned as he collapsed in one of the kitchen chairs. "I can't help it…" He took a deep breath, trying to repeat Lance's words in his head, trying to figure out if he'd gotten any information from the short conversation. "What are we supposed to do?"
	"Try to think… Did he say anything that gives you any clue—"
	"No," he sighed futiley.
	"He's calling back tonight he said. Apparently he's free to make phone calls."
	Justin wiped a his eyes. "Can we trace it? Call the police, JC, maybe they can trace it"
	"I will, I will… Do we have Gatorade? Yeah? Will you get Joey and Chris some before they die waiting for us… Um…" I looked at the phone uncertainly, afraid to touch it. I had to call the police.  I started to wonder if I should call on the same line they just called to. Maybe they could trace if I couldn't... 
	I looked up. Justin had a bottle of Gatorade in his hands.
	"Go out and tell them." I swallowed. "I'll call."
	Justin nodded silently. 
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	When Justin came back outside, he looked like he had seen a ghost. He approached us with a stiff walk and handed Chris a bottle of red Gatorade. 
	"What's the matter?" I asked.
	His brow forrowed and he rubbed at his jaw.  "Lance called."
	I blinked. He didn't just say… "What?"
	Justin didn't blink. "Lance called," he repeated forcefully.
	"God… From where? Where is he?" I tried to keep my voice calm. "Who has him?"
	"I don't know. We don't.... I mean, JC has to see if they can trace it. It was so quick..." He cleared his throat, kicking his foot at something invisible on the pavement. "I think he told him… He knows more…"
	"Did he sound okay?" Chris asked. 
	Justin cleared his throat again. "Yeah. I guess. Kinda scared… He said he was fine… I mean... It was so quick."
	"Yeah? That's good at least, right, Just? He seemed okay?"
	"I mean.... I guess. He's calling back tonight. JC says." He glanced over at me hopefully. "That can be traced, right?"
	"Probably, yeah." I gave him a smile. "It's all gonna be wrapped up. Lance is fine. Everything's going to be fine…" I had to try to be optimistic if no one else would. "If they're ready when he calls... Then it'll all work out tonight." 
	"You'll never be in a movie with that kinda acting, Joe," Justin answered with a murmur.
	"It's true, Justin," I persisted. "This sounds promising." 
	"Promising," Chris echoed. 
	"There's no reason to expect the worst," I continued. "Come on. That's pointless. I mean..."
	"Then what?" Justin challenged. 
	"Lance called!" I explained. "None of us were expecting that, right?" 
	"No," he admitted. "But we don’t know anything from it either." 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I thought about my brothers. I thought about Lance and the threat that had also been vague made against Jon and Steve. It sent a chill down my spine.  It was such unsubstantiated fear. That's what bothered me. I was so jumpy. They had great supervision. No one would be able to just walk away with him.	
	Yeah, and like we'd ever thought someone would just 'walk away' with Lance either?
	Chill, Justin. Just chill.
	I didn't speak as Chris and Joey went back and forth with their own worries. 
	When JC came back outside, it seemed too soon. Far too soon. Who could he have called? What progress could have been made. I watched Chris take a big sip of Gatorade and then stuck my hand out. 
	He have it back to me and I took a big gulp before turning my attention on JC. "Did you call the police? Or Jim and Diane? 
	JC's eyes studied a tree in the yard.  "I let the police know he called. First I called Paul Davis again. He told me that he was going to inform our local police because it would be easier for them to investigate and to expect a call from them soon. I called Jim and Diane. Apparently… Lance called them too… She wanted to keep their phone line open so it was brief." 
	"Really? He called them too?" I asked. "Did he tell them anything different?"
	JC shook his head.
	"I hate waiting." Joey shook his head. "I can't stand it…"
	"I wish I knew how he was doing… Justin said sounded okay?" Chris asked.
	"Pretty good, considering, yeah." JC nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah…"
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	What good had phone calls done? I had no information to give them or subside their fears with. I could only assure them that I was okay. 
	Physically.
	Emotionally I felt like I had already shattered and was lying on the ground in a trillion shards. I couldn't stand it here much longer. By the guys being home I knew that this was destroying our tour. By their voices I knew it was destroying them.
	JC… I'd never heard him sound so fearful. Or angry. He sounded even worse than when Justin had disappeared on all those occasions. I was flattered that I meant this much. I hated to know that all this pain was because of me.
	I remembered going down for a package. Why had I done that? Why had I been so stupid? My instincts don't work that late at night—or early in the morning, rather—I guess… I was too trustworthy.
	So stupid…
	I could have avoided this whole thing…
	No, I'm sure they would've gotten me later. People like this don't give up at one try.  
	My parents… It had been hardest to talk to them. Hearing my voice and not being able to do anything seemed to be the breaking point of everybody…
	The only improvement I could was that I was out of that stupid plain room with no windows that would put me in the dark at night. Eric had never asked me to go back in there so I simply stayed in the room I'd made the phone calls in. Fine with me.
	I longed to find a way out. Or at least a location. Anything that would give me a hint. It was so frustrating…
	Eric was out of sight. He'd gathered himself and his pictures and settled elsewhere. Maybe because I'd made him mad he didn't want to sit by me anymore… He probably didn't believe what I'd said about his 'wife' and Justin anyway… 
	I shrugged off the warning about cameras and sighed…
	Maybe it was time to do some exploring…
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	The next day, I studied Justin as he emerged from the room with a solemn look. I put down my magazine and stood, smoothing down my shirt as Justin gazed around the ugly waiting room with a look of disgust.
	"Ready, bro?" I asked. 
	He looked at me. "Yeah. Are we going to the cops now?"
	"Did you really wanna do that?" I asked skeptically and followed him out the door with a wave to the receptionist. 
	"Duh," he replied once we were outside. He gave me a look that expressed the same thing.
	I was unsure. After all, it was just yesterday that Lance had called. We were all still a bit shaken up about it. I regretted not being able to speak with the kid, but slowly I was realizing that regrets were useless. If there was one thing I was learning from this whole ordeal, that had to be it. I would have preferred to have learned the reason behind all this instead.
	And now Justin walks out of the counselor's office looking worse than when he'd walked in. Before he'd walked in it had been all nervous energy. Typical Justin before something big or something that was depending on him. A fidgeting chatterbox basically. He hadn't stopped talking the entire car ride over. I had taken Lonnie's place as chauffeur because we all agreed the man needed a day off. 
	Besides, I'd wanted to see this place that we'd arbitrarily decided Justin should go. He was my little brother for Christ's sake. I wasn't about to let him go off somewhere and talk to somebody I'd never seen. So I was glad to come. To make sure he wanted to go too. I didn't really like the idea of him going, honestly… Even if it would help him in the long run I was still a little ambivalent about the whole thing… 
	But it seemed okay. It was private. It was peaceful. It was fear that made him unwilling, not that he was against the notion of going. He seemed a little more accustomed to it now.
	After the second visit? First time you'd accompanied him and you can tell that?
	Well…
	I didn't know for sure. But aside from his sudden quietness, which I prayed was the aftermath of spilling the beans to that nice lady, he seemed alright.
	Back to going to see the cops. He was looking at me as we walked; he was waiting for my answer. 
	"I don’t know if we should, Just," I replied. "Last time I did something like this you retracted into your little shell and got me in trouble."
	"No," he objected, scowling. "That's so not true, asshole."
	"Come on," I returned with a frown. "And it is true. I don't think it's necessary. JC was taking care of everything, remember?"
	"JC calls and asks…" He broke off as we reached the car. I unlocked the doors and he got in the passenger's side. Once we were in and seatbelts on and I was in reverse, he began speaking again. 
	"JC calls and asks them what's going on," he continued. "But he doesn't push them to do anything. He's like 'Have you found anything? No? Oh well, I'll call back, bye.' And that's not good enough for me. I want to do more."
	"Like what?"
	"Trace phone calls," he replied. "Like yesterday when he called… And he promised to call back last night too… but he didn't…"
	"Maybe he'll call today," I replied.
	"I hope nothing's the matter with him…" he answered slowly.
	What an ironic statement. He hopes nothing's the matter with him? Yet the guy is kidnapped? Oh, I'm sure there's nothing the matter with him…
	"I'm sure he'll call today, kiddo," I assured. "Maybe he's on the phone with JC right now."
	"No, don't say that!" he objected loudly. It caught me by surprise and I looked over at him as he spoke. "I want to have them be ready to trace when he calls…"
	"Justin…" I began. "They said they were setting a tap. I trust them. We'll take this one step at a time. We can't be hasty."
	"I want to take all the steps at one time," he returned.
	"That's hasty," I answered with a laugh. "I just said not to be…"
	"I'm going to go crazy if I don't see him soon…" Justin answered softly. "You don’t understand…"
	I hate it when people do that. Whether it's 'you don't understand' their excitement or their heartbreak, it's the same thing. They have to be alone, be secluded, be famed or be pitied for some reason and no one else of course understands. I don't know why that bothers me. I try not to let it. It's more of an expression than anything else.
	"Yes, I do understand, Justin."
	"I know you do. You know what I meant. It's just…" Justin paused, swallowing. "I do miss talking to him… And I've kinda… I never realized how there he was…"
	We were at a light and so I glanced over at him and frowned. "Justin, you can talk to any of us like that…"
	"It's not the same…" he replied. 
	"Okay." I wasn't about to start an argument. I kind of understood. The two of them were the youngest. They'd always kind of banded together in certain situations. 
	I paused as the light turned green and I started forward. "Should I turn for the precinct?"
	Justin shrugged in an attempt of nonchalance. "Only if you want to and think it's a good idea too."
	"Justin…" I started. Then I just sighed. "Fine, we'll go."
	"Not if you don’t want to…" he objected.
	"Okay," I replied slowly. "Then we won't go. We'll go home."
	"Okay," he answered with great disappointment obvious. After a second, he cleared his throat. "Chris?"
	"Uh-huh…" I knew what was coming.
	"I just think it's a good idea... Don't you…?"
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:
	I took a bite out of the apple I was holding and leaned against the counter as I watched JC sitting at the table, head in his hands as he flipped through a phone book. I knew what he was doing. He had a list of the names that that woman had given to the police as collaborators with her. Now that he had the name 'Eric' in his mind from Lance, he was busy seeing if any of the last names and first names were swapped or scrambled. He was desperate.
	"How do you think it's going?" I asked.
	"Hm?" JC murmured as he barely glanced up. 
	"Justin and Chris. How do you think it's going?" I reiterated. 
	"Well, I just hope it's going." He sent me a wry smile. "You know them."
	I shook my head. "I think they're fine." I walked over to sit down. "But you know… The whole counseling thing with Justin... I mean, he didn't really tell us anything, so why do you think he can tell a stranger so easily?"
	"Because the stranger's not going to get mad at him," JC answered. "That's why. And he did tell us, Joey. He told us everything. It just took a little time."
 	"And persuasion," I added. I took another bite of my apple. "When Lance gets back…" Funny how I can talk about it as if he's just on vacation. "When he gets back, do you think we should make him do the same thing…?"
	JC frowned. "See somebody? I don't know, really. I mean, I've never been fond of the whole therapy trend either, but in Justin's case it just seemed like maybe talking to somebody wouldn't hurt. Lance... I guess it'll be up to him too."
	"Well, I guess it depends on how he acts, huh?" I answered. "But I just know that… If it were me, I might." 
	JC let out a deep breath. "God, I hate this. I really hate this."
	"I think we just need to all get drunk and try to relax after this…" I half kidded.
	"Yeah," JC agreed. He closed the phonebook. "I don't know why I'm... This is a waste of time," he muttered. He looked up at the clock. "Just and Chris should be back about now…"
	"Maybe they're stopping somewhere," I suggested.
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	During my exploration the day before, I found little more than a bathroom. It was hard to believe, but this place had very few windows. And I couldn't find any door out. It was really like a jail. 
	But it was nice to find a bathroom. I really had to go. After relieving myself, I washed my hands and studied my reflection in the mirror. I looked no worse than I had expected. Tired.  Hair messed up. Disheveled clothes. 
	I need to go home…
	I needed to get out of here. 
	A knock on the door.
	Dammit.
	How would I ever get out of here? What was even the point of being here? 
	I opened the door and found Eric there. 
	"Hello," he said. "Had fun walking around?"
	"It was exhilarating," I replied.
	With no other words, I'd been led back to that bleak room and locked in. It was so frustrating. I was scared to fight and speak up. I had little bursts of brazenness every now and then, but I was really so harmless.
	Maybe I could catch him off guard…
	But then where would I go? 
	Right now I had the phone in front of me again. All I knew was that it was a new day. I had gotten a bit of sleep. I didn't have to go to the bathroom. 
	I dialed and waited. Hearing their voices was enough to suffice for now, but I really needed more than that.  
	"Hello?" a voice answered the phone.
	Justin… I paused, just listening to his breathing for a minute. 
	"Hello?" he repeated.
	"Hey, Justin…" I replied.
	"Lance?" His voice rose a notch. "Is that you?"
	"Yeah, it's me."
	"Lance," he started. "They're gonna try to trace this and see if it'll work… They set up or did something that supposed to connect to them…"
	I guessed 'them' to be the police. "Justin… I have no idea where I am."
	"We'll find out," he said. "We miss you, man. Really. I'm going crazy."
	"I'm gonna see you soon," I promised.
	"Really?" he asked. "Have they said anything? Do you have any idea what's going on or why they're doing this? Who has you?"
	"All I know is this guy named Eric…" I answered.
	"Eric?" he echoed incredulously. "Tell me you didn't say Eric."
	"I did."
	Justin's sigh was broken. "He's the one… He's the one that… God, Lance… Has he hurt you?"
	"No, he just says weird stuff… I'm scared of what he says… Can you look it up for me and see where it's from or what it is?"
	"Okay," Justin answered shakily. "What is it?"
	"Something about gazing and becoming a monster…" I struggled to remember.  "He who fights monsters. And gazing."
	"Okay…" he replied slowly. "I'll look it up. But what about where you are? Has he said anything about where you are?"
	"No... I can't even find a door. It's... I don't know.  How is everybody? How are you?"
	"We're all just focused on what's going on…" he persisted. "Johnny gave us a little time off but even he doesn't know what's going on… We didn't know the best way to..." 
	"Yeah, I don't know," I agreed. "I mean... There's a lot to explain..." We hadn't exactly been forthcoming with Johnny the first time around. 
	"Yeah. And… And I'm seeing that lady that you wanted me to go see. I saw her today. This was the second time…"
	"How'd it go?" I asked.
	"Well, the first time… Not so well… I just don't know what to say to her."
	"Don't worry about it, bro. It's fine…" I assured. 
	"Okay." He paused. "Hey, Lance. Joey wants to talk to you. He's going to rip my arm off to get the phone away from me in a second if I don't let him have it…"
	"Okay, Just. Put Joey on."
	In one second, Joey's voice came over the line.
	"Lance, my boy, how you doing?" he asked. I could tell he was trying to be smooth but he had a frantic sort of tone.
	"I'm good, believe it or not…" I replied. "Don’t worry."
	"Don’t worry? I am, trust me." He laughed a little. "Lance, we're all kinda lost here… I mean… I woke up and…"
	"It's not your fault…" I answered. "I shouldn't have left like that. We both thought nothing of it, so no one's to blame."
	"Listen to you, kiddo… You're the one God knows where and you're trying to comfort me… Always the same Lance… No matter what."
	I laughed at him slightly, swallowing hard. "God, Joe… I don't know what to say…"
	"We've got everyone looking for you, Scoop… It's hard, trying to keep it on the down low, you know? We don't want MTV's 'help' or anything…" He sighed. "But JC's been contacting everyone whose number he can get his hands on. We're covering every track. Even today, Justin checked up with the local police because as usual he thinks they're lazy." He paused, chuckling and I heard a low, "Yes, you do, you baby. You said it…. Yeah, Justin's saying he didn't say that now. Anyway, yeah, we've got everyone looking for you…"
	"Have you talked to my parents?"
	"Yeah, we just did recently. They're worried sick about you. They said you called."
	I nodded, clearing my throat. "Yeah." The sound of my mom's tears echoed in my mind. 
	"With them and JC hounding everybody and taking charge, we're gonna find you real soon, man." 
	I hoped so. "Oh, I'm sure of it, Joe."
	Joey paused and I could have sworn I heard him sniffle. Superman. "It's not the same without you…"
	"I'm fine. It's gonna be fine."
	"Everybody's looking for you, man…" he persisted. "Do you have any idea…?"
	"Where I am?" I asked. "Not really. I'm just in a house. That's all I know. I don't even know what state I'm in."
	"State? Man, please…" Joey sighed. I could just see him running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes. 
	I looked over and noticed Eric in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and  a small smile on his lips. "They'll never find you," he said softly. 
	My eyes narrowed. For that one second while talking to Joey it seemed like things were okay. That one second. Now a chill of fear returned.
	Joey was asking something.
	"Sorry, what?" I asked, shifting my gaze to the wall.
	"I asked if you've eaten, stuff like that," Joey answered.
	"Yeah, I do," I answered. Eric had been pretty good about that, delivering cereal, sandwiches, and soda randomly. I reluctantly ate them. I didn't want to accept it at first and then there was little choice. After all, I got hungry. 
	"Lance, I don't know what to say… I mean, just hearing you voice… I wish I could say more, but…" He sounded so broken. 
	"Joey…" I began.
	"You mean so much to us, Lance… I don't know what we're going to do if we don't get you back soon…" He took a deep breath. 
	"Joe, I'm gonna see you soon." I blinked as my vision blurred. 
	"I know. I know…" 
	"Okay, that's enough," Eric started from the doorway. "Wrap it up, Lance." 
	I glared over at him, for a moment defiant. But that wouldn't help anything. 
	"Joey?" 
	"Yeah, Lance?"
	"I've got to go…"
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:	
	A few hours later, I held the phone in my hand tightly, glancing behind me in the kitchen to make sure the guys were still outside. As the officer listened on the other end, I spoke quietly, assuredly. I was almost surprised at my ability to speak so calmly. 
	I was also surprised that the officer was listening. I felt like I had involved myself so much in their investigation that I was starting to lose credibility.This time I felt like he was truly listening.
	When I finished explaining my thought, there was a moment of silence.
	"Justin," the officer finally said. "You'll obviously thought a lot about this."
	"I have," I agreed.
	"And it's interesting, since one of our team passed this same type of idea onto the sergeant yesterday."
	"Really? Why didn't anyone mention anything?"
	"Well... With your social status and the impression we had, we didn't feel like it would be a good idea. We thought it would be too risky."
	"Too risky? Listen, I'm willing to do it. I don't care about that. I want to do it."
	"I know. I see that." He cleared his throat. "Alright, let me see what we can do. I'll have to give you a call back... How's... an hour?"
	"An hour," I repeated. "I'll be at the phone." 
	"Okay, great." He paused. "And, Justin."
	"Yes?"
	"We will find your friend. I promise you that."
	Hours later, after I got my call back from the same officer, I continued to look at the phone. I went online to search for what Lance had asked me to, and while scanning the internet for a matching quote with random search attempts, I glanced at the receiver questioningly. I knew Lance would call again. He was making it a habit to call more than once a day. And I was dying to talk to him again now that I had my mind set on a plan. 	It was confusing, how much freedom he had to contact us. But there was no information beyond that. 
	It had to work. It had to. I knew Lance would give me a little bit of a hard time when I told him about it, but I knew this was what I had to do. We weren't getting far with what we were doing. My talking to a damn shrink wasn't helping anything except making me feel stupid. My thoughts and ideas were so substantiated until I said them out loud. Then they were just so juvenile and I was left thinking, man, I'm an idiot. How do the guys put up with me?
	So I was going to take it into my own hands. Again. I knew I could handle it and I knew I could find Lance. Or he would find me. Either way. It would work. 
	But while I was waiting for him to call, I was looking up that quote he'd asked me to online. He wanted the full thing so the least I could do was find it. But I was having a tough time… When you put a couple words into a search engine like 'he who fights monsters', you get a hell of a lot of results. Despite being a child of the internet age, I wasn't the most computer savvy in the world... With our schedule, I typically didn't get   much time to do more than check my email. So I didn't know where to look. 
	Yahoo.com, Search.com, Hotbot.com, Excite.com… I made the mistake of typing exciter the first time. 
	Then just as I was about to give up I found it.
	Friedrich Nietzsche.
	"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
	I raised my eyebrows and leaned back in my chair as I gazed at the computer screen. Interesting. 
	I could see how that could be relevant to this guys situation, or his excuse. He damn well was a monster. 
	It was a scary quote and thought. I didn't wanna dwell on it too long so I just printed off the page and shut down the computer. 
	Then as if it were chosen timing, the phone rang. I darted out of the room and down the hall towards the kitchen where a cordless phone was. 
	"Hello?" I asked, almost breathless. Please be Lance. Please be Lance…
	"Hey, Justin?" It was Lance.
	"Hey," I answered into the phone.
	This was the step to something big. And I couldn't let anybody know because they would interfere.
	"Yeah, man, you okay? You sound a little out of breath…" Lance answered.
	"Nope, I'm great. I got that quote you wanted…" I started for the door to go outside. This was a conversation I couldn't have anybody hear. It was dark outside but I could care less. 
	In less than a minute I was on the lawn, the door shut quietly behind me. It was spooky how quiet it was outside. This was almost worse than talking inside. I was the only sound out here…
	"Oh, you did?" Lance sounded pleased. "Who is it?"
	"It's kinda freaky…" I began. I recited the quote to him and paused, waiting for his response.
	"That's weird."
	"Yeah," I agreed. I cleared my throat and knew I had to change the subject. He often couldn't stay on long and we had to discuss this. "Um, I was hoping you'd call, Lance, because I have a really important thing to talk about with you…"
	"Yeah? And why are you whispering?" 
	"Well… I'm outside. This is just a conversation between me and you. I didn't want any eavesdropping."
	"Okay…" He sounded really confused. "What is it?"
	"Lance, I was thinking…" I continued. "And basically this guy wants to torture me psychologically, right? He took you to get to me?"
	"I guess in a way, yeah," he agreed slowly. "I can't really figure out what his motive is. IWhat are you getting at?"
	"So then of course he'd want to see how it's 'affecting me'… And he's not getting any of that by watching you call me, right?"
	"Justin, what's this about?"
	"I want you to tell Eric that he needs me there with you," I answered. 
	"Justin—"
	"No, before you say anything, just think about it."
	"Curly, no," he replied firmly. "I know you're worried about me, but you know how many people are looking and I'm going to see you real soon."
	"Well, I want sooner," I answered sharply. "And I want to see Eric again. I need to, Lance. These bastards in their suits are doing next to nothing and this is a way to finally fix it."
	"Just, if you think about it, it's barely been a week and—"
	"It shouldn't have lasted a day!" I exclaimed. I had to remind myself to keep my voice down. I couldn't afford to attract any attention. "Tell him. We'll pick a time and a place."
	"Justin, I can't. I can't do that." His voice sounded so lost, so undecided.
	I'd decide.
	I had decided. We were gonna do this.
	"I need this, Lance. But the only way I can pull it off is with your help."
	"And you're not going to tell JC, Chris, or Joe, huh?" Lance asked. "Do you have any idea what the effect of your last little escapade like this was? And now you're driving yourself into the hands of the enemy."
	"Exactly." 	
	"Justin, you were scared out of your mind to open the door and step outside when you knew these people were thinking of you!" he exclaimed. "Why do you want to see him?" 
	"Because, Lance." I needed it so badly. "It's the only way to get you back, Lance."
	"No, it's not…" he objected. "It's not. I talked to Joey before and—"
	"It is though. Who knows how long it'll take otherwise. We need to put an end to it now," I persisted. "Put Eric on the phone."
	"No."
	"Lance, come on. I didn't know this would be so difficult."
	"I'm not about to get you hurt, Justin. This man's going to get sick of his game sooner or later. Realize it's pointless. Maybe your idea is exactly what he wants. You're willfully doing what he wants. He's not going to hurt me, that's not his plan. So if you're just patient—"
	"You're my friend, Lance! I'm doing this for you."
	"Then listen to me as a friend and don't."
	"No, you don't get it." I shook my head and kicked at the ground I'd been pacing on. It was so dark out. So dark. "You really have no clue."
	"No, you don't. Dammit, Justin, you are not here. You don't know how he thinks. For once you're on the other side, so listen to me."
	"No."
	"I'm going to have to get off soon. You want to end this with an argument?"
	"No, Lance. God, no. Just listen to me," I exclaimed, getting worked up. "Look, Lance, you need to give him the phone now. Otherwise you leave me no choice but to get in the car and blindly drive until I find you."
	"Justin, don't be such a goddamn baby. No means no. It's a crazy idea. Everyone around you is working for the same thing. Cooperate."
	"Lance. Give him the phone. You know this will work."
	"Justin, I can't."
	"You can."
	"Please don't make me do this…"
	He was breaking; I could tell. "It'll work out, I swear," I replied in a soothing tone. "Just give him the phone and we'll see each other before you know it. Is he around?"
	"He's in the other room."
	"Lance, just let me talk to him."
	No answer.
	"Lance?"
	"I don't know, Justin…" he replied brokenly. "I don’t know what to do… What are you going to say to him?"
	"Just give him the phone. I'm not gonna get hurt, Lance. I've dealt with them before, don't worry. I can handle it…"
	"Okay."
	I smiled. "You'll give it to him?"
	"Yeah…" he answered slowly. "I don't know what to do. Just a minute."
	Happiness and fear surged through me as he said those words. I didn't think twice about it being the right decision. I felt weak with mixed feelings and gripped the phone, glancing back at my house. Yes, this was it…
	I waited, listening to the silence on the end of the line. 
	"Hello there…" came a gravelly voice. 
	"Eric," I replied in as strong a voice as I could muster. "It's been a long time"
	He grunted. "What do you want, Justin? I have your friend here… Beautiful boy."
	I shuddered at him voice. "You're trying to get to me, huh? That's why you did this? So how come you didn't take me?"
	"Because this was more fun. How are you feeling, Justin? Now that I have your world wrapped around my finger?"
	"How about you come see how I'm feeling?" I replied. "You're not man enough to face me. I faced your wife… That was interesting."
	There was a pause. "What…?"
	"You heard me." I smiled. "How come you don't want me? Don't you want to see me?"  
	"No…"
	"She agreed to see me. And I got to choke her, with my bare hands. My hands were around her neck and her face was all red and she couldn't speak, Eric…"
	"You liar."
	"Uh-huh. Call the prison. It's true. She was on the floor where she belongs…" I paused for a moment. "I think you want to see me. That's why I want to meet you somewhere. You pick a time and a place."
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Yawning, I finally realized how exhausted I was.
	Sleep, JC… You need sleep…
	Upstairs, I pushed opened Justin's door and observed his empty and slightly messy room. No Curly… I hadn't seen him in a while. 
	I was too tired to try to find him downstairs.
	I was about to head to my own room when I saw Chris coming up the stairs. He smiled and waved at me.
	"I was about to go to bed," I told him.
	"Hey, it's not that late," he objected. "You're that tired?"
	"Yeah, thinking will do that to you," I joked.
	He nodded and smirked. "Is Justin in his room? I was gonna see if he wanted to do anything. The kid needs to lighten up a little bit."
	I nodded in agreement. "He's not up here. I thought you all were down there."
	"I looked downstairs and didn't see him." 
	"He's not up here," I repeated with a shrug. 
	Chris tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe I missed him downstairs. I'll have to check under the furniture."
	I laughed. "Okay, but I’m going to bed. Don't wake me unless you can't find him."
	"Come on, Jace, help me find him quick?" Chris replied. "You have that Justin sensor."
	"I do not. Especially not now when I'm totally zonked."
	"Zonked?" Chris snickered. 
	"Exhausted, retard. I'm so tired I'm using words like that…" I crossed my arms and stared. "Alright, he was in the kitchen last?" I pushed past him and started down the stairs. 
	Chris grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Yep." He pounded down the stairs after me.
	I reached the kitchen and saw nobody. "He's not in here…" The phone was gone. I walked over to the fridge and opened it, taking out a carton of juice.
	"Great help you are…" Chris began as I took out a glass and began pouring myself a drink.
	"I'm helping," I objected as I put the carton back and picked up my glass, taking a quick sip. "Here I go."
	I moved into the living room. Lynn was reading a magazine and looking somewhat relaxed. She looked up and smiled.
	"Hi, guys… What are you up to?"
	"Hey, Lynn," I replied. "We're looking for your son."
	"I haven't seen him for a while," she answered with a shrug. "Tell him to say good night to me if you find him though. I’m going to head up to bed in a minute."
	"Okay, will do." I walked over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Night, Lynn."
	"Night," she replied. "You boys doing okay?" She asked as I pulled up.
	I licked my lips. "Um, I think we will be. Once all of this is smoothed out."
	"Justin doesn't talk to me anymore. Does he talk to you?"
	I frowned. "Sometimes, yeah. Lynn, he'll be fine, we're taking care of him on the road. This is just a bizarre circumstance."
	"Oh, I know, I know," she answered. 
	"I'll see you in the morning, Lynn." 
	"Good night, Lynn!" Chris chirped from the doorway.
	We left and started for the family room where Joey was watching television by his lonesome self.
	"Where's Justin, Joey?" Chris asked.
	"You asked me like five minutes ago, dude," Joey answered. "How the hell should I know?" 
	Chris walked over to the couch and then dropped to his knees, crouching to look under the couch. "Oh, Justin…"
	"Why are you looking for me under the couch, dumbass?" came Justin's voice.
	We all turned to see him walking through the front door. 
	"There you are!" Chris exclaimed as he got up and brushed himself off.
	"I can't fit under the couch, I don't think," Justin replied. "I'm almost sure." He walked towards us and set the phone on the table. "Not about to try."
	"Who was on the phone and why were you outside?" I asked as I sat down next to Joey. I studied Justin's distracted look.
	"Uh, a neighbor," he answered. "And I don't know. I just walked outside…"
	Bad liar. He sucks at lying. I shrugged it off though and sighed. "Well, your mom wants you to say good night. She just went up to bed." 
	"Okay. I'll be right back…" he answered as he walked out the room. We could hear his feet pounding up the stairs.
	"Alright, who really believes he was on the phone with his neighbor?" Joey laughed. "I'm doubting that. I didn't even think he knew any of his neighbors."
	"A tad bit suspicious," Chris agreed. 
	"Guys, I'm going to go to bed," I announced as I stood up. "Good night."
	"Night, Dad," Chris replied.
	I pushed him away. "Oh, whatever, Chris. And don't you and Justin stay up too late tonight. Joey, you can baby-sit."
	"Me?" Joey exclaimed. "Hey, no way. I'm going to sleep as soon as this show is over." He gestured to the TV. "And that's like ten minutes. I'm not getting involved with those two."
	I smiled. "Sure… Okay, Chris, just don't tear the house down." I walked out of the room and started for the stairs. As I was halfway up, Justin appeared at the doorway.
	Perfect.
	"You going to bed now too, JC?" he asked. "It's not that late." He started down the stairs.
	I nodded "Yeah, I'm pretty tired. But do you have a second? I wanna talk to you." I eyed his expression and noticed the change when I asked to talk to him. 
	"Why?" he answered.
	I walked up a couple steps to where he was and prodded him a little. "It'll take a second, come on."
	He sighed dramatically. "JC, I don't—"
	"What's so bad about talking to your best friend?" I objected. "Come on."
	He set his jaw and sighed. "Fine. Your room?"
	"Sure." 
	He walked into my room and I followed, shutting the door behind us. He moved over and collapsed on my bed, laying all spread out with his eyes closed. "Okay, lay it on me. What do you wanna talk about?"
	I walked over and sat down in front of the dresser with a sigh. I started to untie my shoelaces. "Well, it's just a quick question. I was just wondering why you lied to us, Curly…"
	"Okay, what?" he asked with a frown. He didn't move one inch but to slip an arm behind his head and turn to look at me. "When?"
	"Just now. I'm not gonna ask you who was on the phone except to say that I know it wasn't your 'neighbor'. Obviously not if you had to go outside to talk to them. And the way that you just say that so easily, lying as if it's nothing… That hurts, Justin."
	"It hurts that you don't believe me."
	I slipped both my sneakers off and pushed them to the side. "Why should I believe you? I can tell when you're lying."
	"You don't trust me."
	"You're lying, Justin," I repeated. "It just worries me that you're gonna do something stupid again."
	"I don't do 'stupid' things," he replied stiffly. "And you make me lie to you. I don't want to do it."
	"I make you lie," I echoed. "Yeah, that's it?"
	"You do," he replied.
	"I make you? How? By asking a simple question?" 
	"Yes."
	"Justin, that's so stupid." I got up and walked towards him. 
	"You said this would be one second," he started. "I don't know what you expect from this conversation." 
	"To find out what's going on. I just wanted to know what you were planning."
	"Who said anything about planning?"
	That tone of his voice. I'd hit on something. "Justin… What are you up to?" I stepped back and paused. "Does it have to do with Lance?"
	"Why would you think that...?" he replied slowly.
	"Who were you talking to?"
	"Nobody… It's nothing. I'm just going to fix something…" he replied. 
	"No, listen to me… Justin, you can't."
	"Can't what? I didn't say anything. Who says I'm doing anything?"
	"I know that look in your eyes… Do I have to call Lonnie to stay with us and keep an eye on you?"
	"No."
	"I don't trust this."
	"JC… Dammit…" He sat up. "I didn't say anything. You're taking everything out of context." 
	"I don't care. Justin, don't you remember last time? Huh?"
	"Of course I do," he exclaimed.
	"What do you remember?"
	"Everything."
	"No, I don’t think you do. Because if you did you wouldn't be planning anything to do on your own. Don’t you remember not being able to walk outside without us?"
	"You all keep saying that but I was never—"
	"You don't remember then," I retorted. "Justin, just about a week ago when you found out about the note, Chris had to drag you to go to the arcade. This is what you're going to start again. Don't play superhero."
	"JC, you're the one putting ideas in my head." He slipped out of bed and paced a little. "I didn't say I'd do anything. Just chill."
	"You said you were going to fix something," I reminded. "Please, Justin… You're killing me here…"
	"Good night, JC… I'm going downstairs now," he replied, starting towards the door. His hand hovered over the knob. "Okay?"
	"Why are you asking my permission?" I retorted. I ignored the look on his face and refused to believe this was just stress. "Justin, you know I always try to help, I always try to have you trust me. But you're not seeming to make that a worthwhile effort." 
	He seemed surprised and the statement, but then simply said, "Good night, JC," in a stiff voice and left, shutting the door firmly behind him. 
	Great, Chasez. I'm sure you'll sleep awesome tonight.
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"Pick a good one," I told Joey bossily as the man thumbed through the collection of DVD's and movies in the house. 
	He looked up at me from his seat on the floor. "And what constitutes a 'good one'? Do tell, my liege."
	"One that'll have Justin up all night."
	"Aren't we trying to do the opposite? Look—Cinderella… That was a good movie. Cinderella was a babe…"
	I snorted. "You're really missing clubbing, huh?" I gave him a sympathetic yet laughing look. "Pathetic. We are not watching Disney. If you want Disney we'll stick Justin and JC in a room together with reruns of the damn MMC and see them get into reminiscing."
	Joey snickered and continued to sift through tapes. "That'd be torture."
	"For us or them?" I answered.
	Joey laughed.
	I looked up as Justin entered the room and grinned. "Hey, man. We were just talking about you."
	"Were you…?" Justin replied flatly as he walked over and collapsed on the couch. He leaned back and put his feet up on the table.
	"Uh-huh. Actually, we were making fun of you." He shrugged and I studied him critically. He had a different look to him. "What's the matter?"
	He just shook his head. "Nothing." 
	"Seriously, you go up to say good night to your mom and you come down with an expression looking like you've been to hell and back. You in trouble?"
	"No."
	"What, then?"
	Deep sigh.
	"Justin, what?"
	He pressed his lips together thoughtfully and then pushed back harder against the couch. "I had a fight with JC…" 
	"Jeez, now what?" Joey exclaimed. 
	He rubbed his temples and then covered his face with his hands. "Everything."
	"In five minutes?"
	"It was an eternity."
	"What about?" I persisted, giving him a commiserating look. JC and Justin… Two peas in pod yet so close they clashed with each other's emotions all the time. 
	He ran his fingers through his hair. "He doesn't trust me."
	"Since when?" I rolled my eyes. "Sounds like you were both probably just a bit overtired."
	"I think I messed up," he persisted softly.
	Joey and I exchanged a look. 	"How?" I asked.
	Justin shook his head and just pointed to the movies. "What are we watching?" he asked softly.
	"We're watching…" I began dramatically. "The life and misadventure of Justin Randall—or 'Danger' as he insists—Timberlake. The brat was born 1981 in the rip roaring town of Elvis—"
	"Will you just shut up," Justin interrupted with a sharp tone, slightly whining. "It's not funny. And I never told anybody to call me Danger." 
	"Justin, just looking at you is funny. This is freaking hilarious."
	"Chris, I'm really pissed off and not in the mood…" he began. "Can't we just watch a movie?"
	I snickered. "Justin developed the uncanny ability of bad timing and a bad sense of humor that often grated on people's nerves…" I persisted in an announcer's voice, ignoring Justin's increasingly irritated look and Joey's warning one. "Both came into play and led to his demise one day as he snuck out of the hotel and decided to go bakery hopping. Once he'd—"
	I was unable to finish because Justin lunged from his seat to jump on me. His knee landed dangerously close to hitting something personal and dear to me and every other man, and I yelped in surprise, inhaling sharply and trying to protect myself. I found myself being dragged to the ground under his weight, coming this close to hitting my head on the coffee table. 
	"Joey, help me, dammit!" I managed mid-fall as Justin succeeded in pinning me to the ground. But Joey was just sitting comfortably there in front of the family DVD's and VHS's, smiling widely at the scene before him.
	"Nah, hell, man, you deserve it. Bakery hopping? I'm letting him be at least for a couple more seconds…" Joey answered as he got up slowly and walked towards us.
	Damn him.
	I tried to fight and gained a slight upper hand but only for a second before Justin shifted his weight back on top and my head was slammed back down on the carpet. Not a welcoming feeling. Justin was pretty strong. I slipped a hand free from his grip and placed it on his chest, pushing him off. Or attempting to. 
	"Okay, Justin… That's good enough…" Joey finally said as he edged closer. "You can stop anytime now. You've proved Chris is a huge wimp." 
	Wimp? I fumed. He'd pinned me without even a fair—
	You know, it wasn't worth it. 
	I pushed up to try to sit but Justin shoved me back down again, straddling my waist and bolting me down as his fist connected with my chin.
	Ohhh God. He was actually fighting now. I couldn't remember the last time we'd actually fought beyond wrestling.
	Then it was over as he was pulled off me. I could see the ceiling above me instead of a flushed and angry young face. I blinked and saw Joey pushing Justin down on the couch.
	"You done now?" Joey asked him. "What's the matter with you?"
	"I'm done..." Justin mumbled submissively. 
	Pain in my jaw. Pain in the back of my head. Pain in my back. I felt old 
	I forced myself to sit up, clearing my throat and feeling weak. I glanced over to Justin.
	"You get all your anger out?" I asked dryly.
	"No," Justin replied.  
	"Oh, Justin, come on…" Joey collapsed beside him in exasperation. "Don't be like that. I just let you kick Chris's butt."
	"Oh, sure, you were in control..." I replied. I sniffed. "I guess we're not watching The Life and Misadventure of Justin Randall 'Danger' Timberlake."
	"Chris, don’t," Joey warned. 
	"Both of you just shut up," Justin replied dryly. "Let's just watch a movie or something." His tone was sour.
	"Listen, man. Don't take it out on me because you're mad at JC…" I began.
	"But I'm not." His eyes met mine, and I could see right away he was still harboring a grudge. "I'm really not." 
	"Just because he's mad at you then," I rephrased bluntly. "And because you messed up somehow."
	"I didn't mess up yet," he corrected. "Tomorrow."
	"Tomorrow," Joey echoed.
	"Yeah."
	"Okay…" Joey frowned. "That sure makes a lot of sense. Thank you, Justin."
	"No problem." Justin bounced his fingers on the arm of the chair with nervous energy. He let out a deep sigh and was clearly preoccupied.
	"So who was really on the phone?" I asked abruptly.
	He looked at me in surprise. "What?" 
	Bingo.
	"So that's what you fought about with JC, huh?" I replied as I got up off the floor and moved to sit in the chair adjacent to the couch they were in. "So… I'm guessing you should tell us... Not worth a fight with us too. Aside from the attempt to knock me out which you just made. You haven't swung at Joey yet."
	Joey flexed from his seat on the couch, showing little through his sweatshirt, and smiling. "He knows not to mess with Superman…"
	"Yeah, Joey, uh-huh. Real impressive." 
	"You know it."
	"Who was it, Justin?" I repeated.
	"It was just a regular old phone call," Justin objected. "I don't see what the big deal is. I told you it was a neighbor, and it was. Respect my privacy and move on.."
	"Your 'privacy' has wound you up at gunpoint the last couple of times, Curly boy, so I'm not going to respect it," I answered as I attempted to make direct eye contact with him. "Did you tell JC something different? Maybe we should all talk about this."
	"No." Justin shook his head. "He's asleep…" He paused for a second and took a breath. "Look, my neighbor just wants me to do something for him tomorrow that's really, really important and I'm just afraid I'm going to mess it up. Or that agreeing to do it was a mess up… 'cause of… lack of time…"
	Neighbor.
	I was disgusted that he would say something like that so easily. After all that we'd been through, you'd think that we would have developed an increased sense of trust or reliance on each other. Obviously not. "So what movie are we watching, Joey?" I asked. 
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:	
	"And then he just totally jumped on him," I continued as JC watched me make eggs at the stove the next day. Taking advantage of the fact I rarely had the chance to cook or have a kitchen at reach, I'd offered everyone breakfast. JC and Chris were the only ones that took me up on my offer. Justin said he didn't want breakfast and he headed to shower. I assumed he already ate since he seemed to, surprisingly, be the first one up. Lynn was out the door not far after I got up,  and that left JC and Chris.
	"He what?" JC turned to look at Chris, sitting across from him at the kitchen table. "Why?" 
	"Well, it wasn't that bad. C'mon, Joey. Don't exaggerate. He's playful like that," Chris objected, rolling his eyes.
	"It didn't look playful," I answered sarcastically. "You wouldn't have asked me to get him off you if it were just 'playful'."
	"Joey..." Chris rolled his eyes.
	"It's true."
	Chris shook his head at JC. "We just got into a little tiff. He said he'd gotten in a fight with you."
	"It was just a little disagreement," JC answered. "I just got the feeling he was up to something, but of course he claims he isn't. We're on edge as it is so... He say anything else to you?"
	"Nope. We didn't say much after," Chris answered. I just scrambled the eggs as he explained. "We put on a movie and didn't talk through it. As soon as the first credits started, he got up, muttered something that I think meant good night, and went upstairs."
	"He was a little weird this morning..." I began. "I mean, who turns down a Fatone breakfast?"
	"I almost did after that first bout of food poisoning," Chris answered. "But I think I've developed a stomach for it."
	"Shut up," I laughed. "I'm the best cook out of all you. You'd be living on peanut butter and jelly if it weren't for me."
	"Joey, you rarely cook for us," JC reminded. "We always order in or eat out."
	"And who reminds us to eat?"
	He laughed. "Right."
	"When does the Bass's flight come in?" Chris asked suddenly.
	I frowned. "I didn't know they were coming."
	"Well, of course they are," JC answered. "If you heard how concerned they were, you'd be surprised that they didn't teleport here. I think the first flight they could get was for tonight actually."
	"Whatever Justin is planning, he'd better not do while they're here," I started. "They're upset enough as it is."
	"We all our. I'm hoping it was just me imagining things, but he just seemed weird. He said something about fixing things, but... Who knows."
	"We'll just all stick together," Chris replied. "Nothing's changed. We know it's better to keep everyone together with everything going on. The more open it is, the better." 
	"If we don't find Lance soon, we're all going to wind up killing each other," I answered. "And get your plates, the eggs are done..."
:-:-:-:-:	
Justin
:-:-:-:-:	
	I got dressed slowly, trying to make sure I was ready for this. Did I really want to do it? My body seemed to say no.  I'd already thrown up two times that morning thinking about seeing Eric again. That probably should have been an indication that I wasn't ready, but hey… 
	 I had to leave soon so my nerves were racing. The time and place that we'd picked echoed in my head and I closed my eyes briefly while buttoning my shirt.
	I couldn't forget the time and place.
	The next most important thing was getting out of the house. Mom wasn't home so the guys as usual would take it upon themselves to be responsible for me. Damn them. I love them to death but they can be a bit overbearing. I was hoping they wouldn't give me too hard a time today. 
	Taking a deep breath I looked at the door. Should I go? Was it too early? Was it a bad idea? Would something happen? 
	I glanced at the clock.
	My stomach felt really messed up and I couldn't tell whether it was because I was nervous or feeling guilty. What I was doing was gonna look pretty bad. But hopefully I could come out as a hero. I was gonna get Lance back. 
	I walked out my door and swallowed, rubbing my eyes. I also hoped I could drive with only two hours of sleep under my belt… It had been a tough night to fall asleep.
	As I walked down the stairs slowly, I could hear the sounds of the guys putting dishes in the sink and talking. 
	Think of an excuse, Timberlake. And a good one. They're going to question you going somewhere alone immediately. 
	Basketball?
	No way, they'd wanna play with you.
	Hm, the neighbor thing? Even though they hadn't believed it? 
	No.
	Hey why do they have to know at all?
	But they're gonna ask. And you can't just stand there and smile, dimwit.
	I had the urge to run back upstairs to the bathroom, but fought it down and reached the first floor with a sigh. Think…
	Think! God you're almost in the kitchen!
	Um…
	"Guys…" I began as I walked in towards them a few steps.
	"Boy, you missed a heck of a meal…" Joey laughed at me as he put a plate in the dishwasher. "I made eggs. Scrambled with cheese. And toast. Doesn't that sound good?"
	Well the nausea that's overcoming me from the thought is saying no but I'll smile and nod nonetheless.
	"Yeah, I bet it was great, but I wasn't that hungry…" I replied. "And I was just about to go out for a bit, okay? I'll be back later."
	I saw the three of them exchange a look and frowned. What was that supposed to mean?
	Oh well.
	"Where to?" Joey asked nonchalantly. He leaned against the counter.
	"Well…" I pursed my lips. Think. "I was gonna… I need… I'm going to go shopping I think…"
	"We were thinking of going to the mall, we can go with you," JC offered.
	"But… we're always recognized when we're together," I objected.
	"News flash, Curly. You're Curly. Your hair is recognized. Not us."
	I pouted. "Well, I can't help that now can I? So I'm just going to go by myself. You don't like shopping with me anyway. You always say so."
	"Okay." Chris shrugged. "Your choice."
	I chewed my lip a second. He seemed to give up far too easily. "Really?"
	"Yeah, really. I mean, you wanna go that bad without us then go."
	"Alright... Well, then I'm going to go." I looked between Joey and JC and saw neither of them object. It seemed too easy. Especially JC. You'd think that after last night's argument he'd still be suspicious. Oh well. No problem in my opinion.
	"Okay, I'll see you guys later," I said, backing through the door before they could change their mind. "You guys need anything?"
	"We might go out too. No use sitting home all day," Joey answered. "So if you see us behind you pulling out, we're not following you." He smiled and laughed.
	"Did you eat?" JC asked.
	"Yeah." I nodded. Last night but he didn't specify.
	"Okay." He nodded. "See you later…"
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"The police station?" I began, watching as Justin walked out of the car and started towards the entrance. We sat low in our car on the other side of the parking lot as we watched. "Why wouldn't he just tell us he was coming here?"
	"Maybe he just decided to stop on the way," Joey replied.
	"Way to where?" JC replied. "We all know he's not actually going shopping. I don't know what he's up to, but it's something."
	"Maybe he just wanted to come alone," I replied. "I mean, they're doing the best they can. I don't know what they'll tell him in person that they couldn't tell him over the phone."
	"He's up to something," JC answered. "I know it."
	"But what?"
	"I don't know... That's what we have to figure out."
	"By tailing him all day..." Joey sighed. "This is a huge breach of trust."
	"He's breaching our trust."
	"Yeah, but he's not going to be happy to know we're following him."
	"He won't know."
	Joey rolled his eyes.
	We waited around, and JC began messing with the radio. He had just settled on a station after a few minutes of checking out the options when I noticed Justin walking back out of the precinct.
	"That was a quick visit," I said slowly, eyeing the clock. "That was ten minutes."
	"They probably told him to get out so they could focus on the investigation without him prodding them for more info..." Joey muttered. 
	JC's eyes followed Justin as the kid got back into his car and slammed the door shut. "Where to now, Justin..." he questioned softly out loud. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	It was almost time…
	I sat in my car, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel and trying to mouth the lyrics to the song I had playing. I could barely concentrate. I'd reached the meeting place downtown and had struggled to parallel park on the side of the busy road. Now I just had to wait for the car he'd told me he'd be driving.
	Did I know what I was doing? No. Did I know the consequences? No. 
	What was I gonna do when I got there? How would I act?  I wasn't really sure what I was gonna say to Eric. I just needed to see Lance and know that he was okay. Then I would decide.
	But you're gonna be seeing Eric first you retard. Just act like you did on the phone, however you managed that.
	No hesitating.
	Just act like you had a plan. 
	Yep, that's what I would do.
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	"Why's he just sitting there?" Joey asked.
	"I can't sit still much longer," Chris warned.
	I sighed and looked across the street at Justin's car, just parked there. I couldn't see in because the windows were reflecting the Florida sunlight, but knew he hadn't gotten out. We didn't know why he was here or why he was just sitting in his car. He couldn't possibly be lost.  	 
	"I swear, I have to piss so bad…" Chris muttered.
	"What's around here that Justin would want to go to?" Joey persisted. "JC, you with us, man?"
	I nodded and ran my finger along the steering wheel I sat behind. "Yeah… Just thinking…"
	"This is weird…"
	I sighed. "I don't understand what he's doing…"
	Joey sighed. "Maybe he knows we followed him and that's why he's just sitting there."
	"No, I don't think so… He would have approached us by now."
	"Guys, I really gotta go…" Chris cleared his throat.
	I turned to see the man, almost thirty and acting like a two year old in the backseat. His leg bounced up and down with bubbling energy as he frowned and pointed at his pants. "Daddy, I gotta go…"
	"Too much information…" I muttered, turning back in my seat to look out the window at Justin's car once again. I glanced at the clock. Only five minutes had gone by…
	"Maybe there's a good song on the radio or something," Joey continued. "You know how he is about stuff like that."
	I shrugged. I could accept almost any explanation on the basis that I had none of my own. 
	"That's probably it." Joey sat back in the passenger's seat and tried to stretch his legs out a little more. I could tell he was getting restless as well.
	"Justin's a big boy, guys, and I'm pretty sure I trust him. How long are we gonna sit here?" Chris complained.
	"Oh, shut up, and suck it up," I answered. "You should've gone before we left."
	"I didn’t have to go before we left…" Chris crossed his arms. "How about I just get out of the car and find a place and I'll be right back?"
	"Chris…"
	"We don't need three pairs of eyes to see that he ain't going nowhere!" he exclaimed. "And I’m about to go all over the car if—"
	"Ugh! Alright, go!" I cried, disgusted. "Just try to hurry, alright?"
	Chris muttered something and undid his seatbelt. He pushed open the door and slid out, slamming it behind him.  
	Joey shook his head and laughed. "Chris…"
	"He's a moron. Justin better not see him or this will all be pointless," I answered dryly. I chewed on a fingernail nervously and squinted as I tried to see further towards Justin's car. "Isn't it funny how you think you know somebody... you think you can predict their every move… and then suddenly you realize that you know nothing at all…?"
	Joey sighed. "JC… I know how you're feeling… but we're just going through a tough time and it's not you…"
	I shrugged. 
	"JC, it's not. It's not any of us. We've all screwed up in the course of these past six months and none of us can disagree. Justin thinks it's his fault, you think it's your fault, Chris thinks its his, and on and on…"
	"It's Joey, the voice of reason in *NSYNC," I muttered. "All this time they all just labeled you as the flirt." I smiled at him to know not to take it personally and found him grinning back.
	"Damn straight. Flirt my ass. It's my intellect they're missing."
	"Sure…"
	He laughed but then leaned forward in his seat and pointed out the window. "Hey, man, look." 
	I quickly looked towards Justin's car to see him getting out of it. I tensed and stared. "Should I get out?"
	"JC, no…" Joey answered slowly. "Just watch."
	We were silent as we observed. Where was Chris? I didn't wanna risk looking behind me to find out; I was too intent on watching my mysterious best friend. He was walking up the sidewalk a bit, away from us, and my eyes locked on his back. I yearned to rip off my seatbelt and run after him, demand to finish the conversation from last night…
	No. No, just see what's happening.
	"Where's he going?" Joey asked quietly, almost speaking to himself.
	It was hard just to watch as he walked couple more feet. Then…
	No. No. No!
	He was walking towards this dark old Oldsmobile. It had peeling, dark reddish paint and tinted windows.
	"He is not getting in that other car…" Joey began. He was taking off his seatbelt. I already had mine off and was pushing my door open frantically.
	I heard a car door slam just as I was about to scream out his name. He was already in the car, and it was about a half a block away from us. 
	I started running.
	"JC!" 
	I heard Joey's voice behind me but I couldn't respond. All I could feel was the rage burning up within me as my feet pounded the pavement and I watched the car in the distance begin to pull out from it's parking space into the road. The misunderstanding, the anger, the hurt, and the fear. 
	Burning within my lungs, below my ribs, my body objected to the strain I had just suddenly put on it—That forced me to slow down considerably, but I persisted. If I couldn't stop the car I could at least get the license plate… 
	Dammit! 
	I memorized the letters/numbers as my feet skidded to a stop and the car drove out of sight. I cursed loudly to myself and caught the attention of several people walking by; they merely frowned and kept walking, thankfully not recognizing me.
	I walked over to a parking meter at the curb of the sidewalk and kicked it hard, feeling my foot's pain at the contact, and ignoring it. I kicked it again.
	A hand touched my shoulder and I spun around. Joey.
	"Dammit, Joey!" I cried, voice choked.
	"I know…" He stared downward at his feet.
	"Why would he… Why'd he set something up like that?" I demanded and stared at him through a hazy gaze. "Who was that?" 
	Joey shrugged. After a second's pause, he reached over and enveloped me in a tight hug. I relaxed in the bigger man's grip for a moment and then patted his back and pushed from him. "Thanks…" I murmured.
	"Let's go back to the car…" he suggested. "We need to think this through." 
	We got back to the car and found Chris sitting in the back, awaiting patiently our return. He frowned as we climbed back in, taking in the dark looks and quietness.
	"What?" he asked. "I go take a piss and the world falls apart?"
	"Basically, yes." I angrily turned the keys I had left in the ignition and shook my head. I leaned back for a moment, just closing my eyes. I repeated the license plate in my mind.
	"What happened?" Chris persisted.
	Joey sighed. "Justin's decided to take the situation into his own hands apparently… We just saw him get into some car and it drove off." 
	Silence. Then, "What?"
	I cleared my throat, "No one mentions a word of this to Lynn. Or Diane and Jim. Alright?"
	"But JC—" Joey began.
	"No, don't," I persisted. "Lynn can't handle this. And Diane and Jim? Jesus, Joey, their own son is missing. They don't need to know that Curly was an idiot on top of that. And we don't know that he's missing now too. He can't be." 
	"Well then 'where' is he?" Chris asked. "Hypothetically?"
	I paused. 
	"When is that boy gonna learn…" Joey began slowly. "That I am Superman? Not him?"
	"Joey, please…" I implored with a broken laugh. "Just say something like Johnny called and wanted him to do a little promotional thing in… Tampa…"
	"That's not gonna work…" Chris objected. "The first question is going to be, what about the rest of us?"
	"We thought it would be best if we waited around to help with finding Lance," I continued.
	"First of all, Justin would never leave without telling Lynn himself or without giving her a phone number at least… And none of us, not even him would go off on a promo by themselves."
	"Yeah but he'll go off by himself for bullshit like this," I replied shortly. "I'm buying him a tracking device for Christmas."
	"Coal," Joey answered. "All the way. I'm going to beat him with a stocking of coal."
	"If we ever make it to Christmas," Chris muttered. 
:-:-:-:-:	
Lance	 
:-:-:-:-:
	I know it was probably wrong of me. I should have been mad. I should have been devastated. Horrified and in denial. But instead… instead I was almost happy. I was relieved. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I was no longer alone.
	Seeing Justin, with his curly mop of hair, and ignoring the fear in his eyes, was like an oasis to me. He entered the room where I sat in solitude and silence, the locked room that I had recently and frequently ventured out of when the locks on the doors permitted, and he was a shock to me.
	I got up off the dirty floor of the plain room, nearly stumbling as dizziness overtook me. Got up too fast… Hate when that happens.
	Justin was at me in seconds, hands on my arms for a moment in a cursory examination before he wrapped his arms around me so tightly I thought I would suffocate. I slowly put my arms around him.
	"Lance…" he began.
	"Oh, God, Justin, you actually did it…" I whispered as I gripped his shirt briefly before patting his back and trying to stand away. "What are you thinking? You shouldn’t have come."
	"I need to do this, Lance," he answered emotionally, sounding half his age. "We all missed you… I had to do this." 
	I closed my eyes. "You shouldn't be here… What is this going to change?"
	"We already had this discussion," he replied, stepping back from me as he finally let go. He set his jaw and tried to look brave. He looked me up and down again. "You look okay. How you feeling?"
	I shrugged. "Good under the circumstances. Justin… I… Have you talked to Eric?"
	He shook his head. "Pretty silent ride over. Kept asking me what I did to his wife. I couldn't say it in person like I did over the phone… So I told him that I'd just talked to her. No use in having him mad while I'm actually within range. Besides that he didn't say much—except that you were in here." He trailed off. "I'm not sure... I'm not sure what they want." 
	I nodded. "Do the guys where you are, Justin?"
	He shook his head again, avoiding eye contact as he studied the room. "You know they wouldn't let me."
	"Justin."
	"But…" he lowered his voice to a soft whisper. "We're gonna get out of here…" 
	"How?"
	"I gotta look around first. It wasn't that long a ride to get here, Lance. We're not far away. He took you right back home."
	I shivered. All this time not far away from home. That was so freaky.
	I watched him as he began walking the exterior of the room. He looked perplexed at the lack of windows.
	"Don't you ever get out of here? Where's the phone?" he questioned, turning to stare at me. His brow was furrowed in confusion.
	"Yeah, he just leaves me in here sometimes but lately I've just been able to wander the rooms… That one door is unlocked but there's another behind it with a lock," I answered. I sat back down on the floor. "Not that there's much to look at outside. Maybe I'm an idiot but I can't find a door." 
	"Maybe there's a hidden door. Like behind a bookshelf." He smiled weakly for moment. "Can I be Sherlock and you Watson?"
	I smiled back. "Justin…" Suddenly, I was so glad he was here. Just having his energy in the same room was helping me feel better. "Fine." 
	He ran his fingers alone the plain walls and walked for several more feet before turning around and coming back towards me. "If I had to spend five minutes in this room I would crack."
	"Justin, you are gonna spend five minutes in here. At least."
	"I meant alone."
	"I don't know how you couldn't tell the guys, Justin."
	Justin shook his head. "I had to do it, and I couldn't waste the time of explanation. You know how it goes. But I had to do this, Lance. You know I had to."He suddenly looked scared again.
	"Sometimes it takes two, Lance," he began. "I can do it. Trust me. Even if I have to kill Eric, we are getting out of here. And trust me, I have no problem with that."
	I stared at my friend, mysteriously harboring these plans. "Justin, you don't mean that… That's not what you're planning."
	"Lance, the man deserves to die," Justin answered, rolling his eyes as if were the simplest thing in the world to understand. Like the fate of this man lay in his hands... "Whatever happens, happens. I've realized that's the only way to go about things."
	"Justin. We need to be careful." 
	Would I stop him?
	I kind of wanted it too…
	"We can do this," he replied. I could feel him scrutinizing me. "And I need to take this into my own hands. I started all of this… I can finish it. We can get out of here, we can figure out what they want. And if something bad happens to them because of it, then I don't care." 
  	"Justin—the quote that I had you look up, don't you realize it? Don't you understand it?"
:-:-:-:-:
Joey 
:-:-:-:-:
	When we got home, Lynn was there, talking on the phone in the kitchen. When she saw us arrive, she smiled and waved. We collapsed tiredly in the family room. So much was on our minds and we hadn't really spoken since we'd begun the drive home. We probably should've. Within a few minutes Lynn walked in.
	"Hey, boys. That was Diane on the phone. They're at the airport now and they'll be here in a few hours. They're holding up well, I'm relieved. I'm just so glad they got a flight out.... How are you three doing?"
	"Good," Chris answered. I could see him swallowing. I glanced at JC, who was staring steadily at his hands, which were folded in his lap. The extent of plans was that we'd all agreed that we couldn't tell Lynn. JC of course would find it nearly impossible not to, being the closest to her out of us.
	"Where's Justin?" Lynn asked with a frown.
	"Uh… He was having a bad morning so he decided to take a drive," I began in a dull tone. Nothing out of the ordinary. "He said he might drive out to the beach or just go shopping or something. To 'chill'."
	"He didn't want any of you with him?" she persisted. "That's unlike him."
	"Who wants to be with Justin on a bad morning?" Chris joked.
	"That's still odd of him to run off like that…" She looked worried.
	I looked at her and sighed. What little you know of your son, Lynn. He is the prince of sneaking away. 
	"I'm sure he'll be back soon, Lynn," Chris answered. "Hopefully he'll call later."
	"JC, you're a little quiet this morning…" Lynn walked over to sit on the couch. "Are you feeling alright?"
	"I'm just a little bit tired…" JC replied, eyes darting to meet hers for just a brief second.  "I didn't sleep well." 
	"All this stress, sweetheart, it's no wonder. Maybe you should take a nap."
	JC smiled sadly. "Maybe I will." He cleared his throat and stood up. "Yeah, actually I'm going to do just that. I'll be upstairs, guys."
	Chris and I exchanged a look as JC fled the room. It was like he couldn't be apart of the lie anymore. 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"JC…" I began as the man reached the top of the stairs and started towards his room.
	"I just need to relax, Chris…" he answered in a monotone voice. Suddenly he stopped and headed to the bathroom.
	I followed him and frowned as I watched from the doorway. He opened the cabinet and his eyes scanned the contents. In the mirror I could see his face, eyes dark, face slightly unshaven…
	He pulled out a box and I objected at first with a simple warning, "JC…"
	"It's children's Tylenol, Christopher." JC spun on me angrily. "Quit watching me, huh? My head is killing me, and I'm just taking Tylenol. Child strength. It's all Lynn has anyway. Jesus... Doesn't she know Justin's not a little kid? Why's she keep this child's strength stuff?"
	I set my jaw. Alright. I had never heard of anything bad coming from children's Tylenol so I guess those four that he popped in front of me and swallowed couldn't do too much harm. 
	"You gonna sleep?" I asked, moving out of the way as he pushed past me back into the hall.
	"Uh-huh… Or try to," he replied. "Just ignore me, Chris. I didn't mean to snap at you, but I really don't want to talk about this." 
	"Hey, we don't have to," I assured as I walked slowly after him. "I just thought, you know, that I would at least offer." 
	JC stopped walking shortly and slowly turned around. "Chris… What… What are we gonna do?" He took an unsteady breath. 
	"What can we do?" I answered gently. 
	"But now Justin…" JC's voice broke. "If that Eric puts one finger on him. If he gets closer than a foot from him… I swear…"
	I forced a smirk. "Are you kidding? JC, Justin's attitude will have Eric wish he never had even heard of *NSYNC. Lance and Justin'll be back in no time…" 
	"Chris, it's not funny…" JC ran a hand through his hair. "He's so stupid. And now we're lying to everybody!"
 	"We're not lying to anybody," I objected with a frown.
	"The press, the fans, Lynn… Come on, Chris." JC shook his head. "You see this? Look how worked up I'm getting. I'm just gonna relax a little bit and lie down… Try to sleep for a little while…" He turned towards his room.
	I let him go. 
:-:-:-:-:
Justin
:-:-:-:-:
	I  spent the last couple of minutes with Lance in silence. Thinking. I knew that as happy as he was that I was there, that he didn't agree with it. I could just tell. I didn't really blame him, knowing that it positions were reversed I would feel the same.  But it was a relief in itself to see him. That moment Eric pointed to the door and I walked through, I couldn't believe it. He'd been here all along. 
	And he seemed alright. I had been a bit worried, but the worst of it seemed that he was a little rundown, but that was expected I guess. At least Eric hadn't hurt him. Physically anyway. Emotionally I could tell Lance was hanging by threads. 
	When Eric finally opened the doors to the room—no words, just the door opening and his walking away—I eyed the opening hungrily. I was aching to make a move.
	I jumped up and outstretched a hand down to Lance, who took it reluctantly and let me pull him up. He eyed me.
	"Ready?" I whispered. 
	"Justin…"
	"How come he doesn't say anything?" I asked as we walked towards the door. "I would think he would wanna piece of me after everything we've been through."
	"Well be thankful he hasn't started anything," Lance answered.
	"I'm going to," I replied.
	"Justin, please don't…"
	"Trust me, Lance, I know what to do. I can do this… He gives us so much freedom…" We walked into the house from our secluded room silently and I searched for possible weapons. "Is there a kitchen?" We were in the living room it looked like…
	"A kitchen?" Lance echoed.
	"Yes." You know, where they keep sharp objects?
	"I don't know…" he shrugged. "You wanna call the guys and let them know you're okay?" He pointed towards the phone.
	"Later, right now I—"
	"Justin, dammit. You have no clue what you're doing," Lance hissed as he took my arm. "Call them and tell them where you are before you kill yourself." 
	"Where I am?" I answered, pushing his arm off. "Where am I then, Lance?"
	"Just tell them you're with me, at least," Lance answered. He muttered something and walked over to sit on the couch. He stared at me expectantly and gestured to the phone. "Don't you think they're worried senseless?"
	"More like ready to beat me senseless," I replied. "I'll call, rest assured, Lance. Just not this second." I knew the moment I called I wouldn't be able to get off the phone and there were more important things to focus on now. 
	I walked the perimeter of the room a little bit. Past the book shelf, running my fingers along one of the dusty shelves that was at my height. "Is he in another room? Where'd he go?"
	"I don't know, Justin."
	"Well doesn't he do anything? He just lets you roam?"
	"He listens when I make a phone call. He sometimes talks to me… What more do you want to know? You'll find out soon enough."
	I licked my lips and walked towards the couch to sit down besides Lance. "Look, man, I'm sorry I'm pissing you off but I am gonna do this."
	"You're not pissing me off." He sighed. "You're just making me worry more."
	I forced a laugh and elbowed him gently. "Well, don't. This is all gonna work out. Just you wait and see, Lancie."
	"Just… I don't know what you have planned, or what you know that I don't... And I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you th—"
	"Good, then don't," I answered. I stood up again and walked away. "I'm exploring." 
	Without waiting for his approval, I walked through the door, down a hall, which lead me to a kitchen. A kitchen. Gee, Lance, thanks for being so helpful. 
	No windows. It was weird. Kinda bizarre but, hey, I wasn't here to be an interior designer, so I wouldn't critique. I flipped through the drawers, finding them all empty. Empty, empty. How could every single one be empty?
	Well it wasn't like someone actually lived here… Well did Eric live here? I doubted it. What about the other guy that had been with him six months ago? Was he involved in any of this? 
	Under the sink there were some cleaners and things, but what good were they? Would I throw or squirt him with it? Real effective… I pulled open the last draw and my mouth dropped.
	Pictures of us. Dozens and dozens of pictures of us…
	I shut the draw quickly, and turned around, trying to decide where to search next. I left the useless kitchen and found a family room type of thing next. With a fireplace. A black iron fire poker tucked away in the corner in its base. 
	Perfect.
	I rushed over and slipped it out of the little holder next to the fireplace and studied it carefully. It was about a foot long with prongs at the end. Perfect, perfect. I started back towards the other room.
	I guess at this point I should have probably begun to hesitate. Listened to Lance. Started to wonder what the hell I was thinking. Whether I would really be backed up. But I didn't think. I felt a need to have immediate results. I wish I had stopped to rationalize for a moment. I really wish I had.
	But with the adrenaline pumping through my veins, my fear felt like strength. My shakiness felt like a hint to push forward. I was filled with all this passion. The memories of Ashley and of being threatened fueled my rage.
	With the lean metal pressed near to me, my hands gripping its handle, I made my way back through the kitchen and back to Lance. As I was about to grin at him and tell him my plan, I stopped short.
	Lance wasn't alone.
	I carefully tried to hide the poker behind me as I leaned 'nonchalantly' in the doorway and stared at Eric. The man was sitting beside Lance on the couch. Lance had a pale, sick look on his face. A gun was sitting between them. 
	My eyes locked on it.
	"I guess your friend forget to tell you about the cameras, hm, Justin?" Eric asked in a gravelly voice. "I didn't want to have to tie either of you."
	Cameras? What cameras? 
	I took my eyes off the black gun and settled them on Lance. He was staring dumbly at his hands, which sat in his lap. What cameras? 
	"Now put that down on the ground and come here…" Eric continued.
	I tightened my grip on the poker. "No."
	"No?" He paused. "Justin, I know why you came here. I know that you're tapped. I know you're wearing a wire. I know that they know where I am."
	I stared at him.
	"I'm not stupid," Eric said simply. "Now put that down." 
	I swallowed. "No." 
	Eric grabbed Lance's arm and yanked him to stand up with him. He snatched the gun and held it to Lance's chest. "Put it down. Now."
	Lance looked so pale. Oh God… What was I doing?
	I froze for a moment and then turned to run back into the kitchen. My mind was racing. I almost dropped the metal; my hands were so shaky and slick with sweat. I waited at the corner and took a deep, wavering breath. 
	Footsteps.
	Steady, even footsteps. 
	He was coming. I raised the poker and waited, feeling weak and swallowing. This was it. This was it. If there was ever a moment in my life… 
	Why was I doing this? Why did I rush, and not wait and find out more of what he wanted? 
	Closer. Louder. He was coming. 
	Closer. 
	I raised it higher. 
	Please….
	He was almost here…
	Let me get it… I want this so bad…
	I saw a flash of color as someone was walking into the kitchen and I swung out as hard as I could. I noticed Lance still at his side and cursed as I connected solidly with something.
	At the same time a gunshot went off.
:-:-:-:-:
Joey
:-:-:-:-:	
	I embraced Lance's mother and she hugged me tightly, pulling away after a moment to hold me at arm's length. I tried not to be upset by her red-rimmed eyes and fatigued appearance.
	"Joey, how are you doing?" she asked politely. "You holding up alright?"
	I nodded as I shook hands with Jim. JC, Chris, and Lynn were giving their own greetings at the same time. 
	"You made such good time from the airport, Diane…" Lynn was saying with a smile as she put an arm around her. "I'm so glad you were able to get on that flight. Would you like a cup of tea? I was just putting some on when you rang the bell…"
	"That sounds perfect, thank you, Lynn…"
	"It's great to see you boys," Jim started as we walked towards the kitchen. "But, Lynn, where's Justin?"
	I could tell Lance's parents were just torn apart. When Lance first joined the group way back when, Diane, along with Lynn, had been super-glued to their sons. When they finally reached the point where they knew the life their children were leading and realized that for the most part, they could make their own decisions, they'd backed off. And now look what had happened.
	This was going to be a long night…
:-:-:-:-:
Lance
:-:-:-:-:
	"Lance! Lance!" 
	The voice seemed distant, galaxies away. I floated. I felt nothing but this sudden realization that I had no idea what was going on and hadn't the slightest grasp of my surroundings. 
	"Dammit, Lance!! Can't you hear me?"
	Fuzziness. This cloud surrounding me. I could hazily make out someone hovering over me and a bright ceiling above them. Where was Justin's voice coming from? 
	I knew something was wrong. The haze was clearing and pain was enveloping me. Unbearable pain that I hadn't felt anything like before…
	"Lance!" Justin shook my shoulders. What was his problem?
	"Mm…" I managed as I frowned deeply and tried to push him off.
	"Why didn't you answer me?" Justin stood up and began pacing as I lay on the ground motionless. 
	Why did I feel so weak? What was that warm trickling feeling I felt as I sat up and leaned against the wall? 
	"Why did I do that?" Justin was screaming. I heard him slamming things and winced. Then suddenly he was hovering over me again. "And you… And you… I'm sorry! God!"
	Me?
	What was wrong with me?
	I looked down.
	Swallowed. 
	"They're on their way," Justin persisted. "I know they're on their way. They heard everything. That was the point. I don't know why I did it like that." 
	I leaned back, slamming my head on the wall accidentally. "How'd that happen?"
	"You don't feel it yet?"
	My voice was choked and I glanced down again to where a large red spot was spreading slowly on my right leg through the jeans. "I feel something…"
	"His gun went off. His gun went off!" Justin began screaming things again  as he picked up this long black metal stick looking thing—was that a fireplace poker?—and began to attack parts of the kitchen with it. He was doing a pretty good job of destroying the cabinets. 
	"Justin…" I whispered hoarsely. "Justin!"
	The poker clattered to the ground. "What?"
	"I'm bleeding pretty bad it looks like…" I managed as my eyes watered. "Can we do something?"
	He nodded and walked over towards me. "Did you see what I did?"
	I closed my eyes. "What? I'm blank right now, Justin… I can't think..." The pain was increasing.
	"Look next to you," he replied stiffly. "Look what I did." 
	I looked next to me and nearly threw up. Eric was lying, too close to me for comfort, his eyes rolled back in his head and limbs sprawled. His gun was still in his hand. Crimson blood covered half of his face and seemed to spread from several places in his chest. 
	"Jesus… Justin…" 
	"I just… I swung at him when you two walked through the door… And I caught him pretty good in the head. His gun went off and when he fell to the ground I just stuck that thing through him a couple times before he went down…" He pointed at the poker.
	"You stabbed him with that?" I demanded, looking at the body again, causing a sharp pain in my leg. 
	Justin looked flushed. "I didn't mean it… I didn't plan for any of this." 
	"You mean it," I replied. "You meant it." 
	"I had to get us out of here…" 
	"You hadn't even been here an hour, Justin…" I shook my head. "Help me now."
	Justin nodded and walked over. He looked terrified as he kneeled down close to me. "I hate blood…" he muttered as he touched my jeans. "I think you gotta take them off.... We have to see what it looks like." He reached for my waist with a shaky hand and his fingers lingered on the button. "You got boxers on?"
	"Yes, Justin," I muttered with a half laugh.
	"Just making sure my virgin eyes wouldn't see anything they shouldn't," he replied as he undid the button and zipper.
	"Well, everything I've got you've got too… Hopefully."
	"I do," he retorted sarcastically. "Except for a hole in my leg…" He started to help me pull the jeans down.
	"I got it," I replied. "Get my sneakers off."
	He crawled down lower and began untying them. 
	I stared at my leg and the blood the was beginning to ooze from this nasty looking wound. It was low on my right thigh, a couple inches above my knee. I tried to tell myself it wasn't as bad as it looked. I couldn't really tell because of all the blood. My leg was throbbing. 
	Justin shifted back over to me as he slipped off his t-shirt, remaining now in just a white undershirt. He placed the shirt on top of my thigh and pressed down so hard that I had to grit my teeth to keep from screaming.
	"Sorry… That's what you're supposed to do, right?" he asked.
	"I don't know." I squeezed my eyes shut, in pain. What would people do in the movies? How were we in this situation? It seemed unreal. "Find something to tie to stop the bleeding…"
	Justin looked around, licking his lips. "Eric had a belt. That good?"
	"Yeah." 
	I closed my eyes and tried to relax.
	"How do I do it?"
	I snapped back to Justin's question as he held the belt in front of my eyes to see and then glanced down at my legs. I reached down and pointed to above the wound. "I'll do it."
	"You can't do it your―"
	"I can." I took the belt from him, gritting my teeth. Then I looped the belt around my leg, slipped it through the buckle, and pulling tightly. I'd seen this done on so many movies…
	The shock was starting to wear off completely and what had been unbearable was now… Now… I don't even know. 
	I glanced over at the body lying near me and then over at the metal poker abandoned in the middle of the floor. I really thought I was going to throw up… Suddenly none of this was real.
	Had the bleeding stopped at all? I couldn't really tell. I was honestly ready to freak out at this point but was asserting that great self-control I possessed instead. 
	"Do you hear that?" Justin began.
	I struggled, thinking that I could only hear my heart pounding and a strange ringing. But then I heard it. The sound of sirens. They were getting louder.
	"I told you," Justinn began. "They heard the whole thing." 
	"What are you talking about?" I mumbled, leaning my head back against the wall again. I'd never felt pain like this. 
	I slowly felt the room go fuzzy. 
:-:-:-:-:
JC
:-:-:-:-:
	Just about to finally go to bed and the phone rings. Figures. It really figures. I really didn't feel like talking to anybody. Didn't feel like mustering the energy to turn away from my bedroom.
	Lynn, Jim, and Diane had headed up to bed a while ago so that Lynn could get the other two settled in a guest room. They seemed to be holding on, but it was obvious what a struggle they were making. Joey, Chris, and I were just about to go up as well, when the damn phone decided to ring and I was deemed the one to answer it. 
	"Hello?" I answered it tiredly as I leaned against the wall of the kitchen. I sighed during a slight pause.
	"Hello, are you kin to a Lance Bass or Justin Timberlake?" a smooth feminine voice asked.
	My eyes widened and I stood up straighter. "What? Yes. Yes I am." 
	"May I have your name please?"
	"JC Chasez."
	"Thank you. JC, this is Memorial Hospital.  We were given this number as where to contact the next of kin."
	"What happened?" I demanded. 
:-:-:-:-:
	It seemed like an eternity, but within minutes we were at the hospital and asking the main desk for Lance and Justin. I had so many things running through me at that moment that were indescribable. I was overjoyed that we knew where both Lance and Justin were and that they were safe, but I was terrified at what being in the hospital would mean. 
	After a brief talk with the desk, it was determined that Lance was on the sixth floor in a private room and had just come out of recovery after emergency surgery. None  of us knew what type of surgery or why. There was nothing on Justin. That scared me a little but I figured nothing meant good news. 
	We headed upstairs, all anxious and worried. We were quiet, a nervous silence. 
	Once on the sixth floor, we passed the nurse's station as we came off the elevator and headed down the hall, scanning the room numbers for his. It was always a little foreboding for me to pass all these rooms and know that the people inside were suffering. 
	His room was almost all the way at the end of the hall. The three of us walked in slowly, not knowing what to expect. We saw the foot of the bed as we walked in. Upon entering fully, we finally saw Lance.
	He looked so pallid and weak. Asleep, Lance looked peaceful and young lying in the hospital bed and covered by the sterile white sheets. An IV was connected at the top of his hand and constantly dripped a mysterious liquid. I shivered, taken back by his appearance and amazed that we finally had him back.  "Lance..." I sighed out loud. 
	"I think I should call Jim, Diane, and Lynn…" Chris murmured as he left the room. 
	I stood there in silence with Joey and noticed Justin sitting in the corner in a large cushioned chair. I could only see him from the back, as he was facing Lance's bed, but he looked asleep in the way that his head was tilted to the side. 
	I walked over with a sigh and rested my hands on his shoulders tiredly. "Oh, Justin…" I whispered.
	Joey had walked over to sit at the edge of Lance's hospital bed. He ran a hand down his pale cheek and pushed back his light hair from his forehead. 
	I shook Justin's shoulders a little, evoking a small murmur of objection. I did it once more and he suddenly he jumped out of his chair and spun around in shock. Fear was bright in his eyes. His mouth parted as he glanced over at Lance and then back to me.
	"JC," he whispered. His eyes calmed as if in recognition. I couldn't tell. "You're here." 
	"C'mere, Curly…" I held my arms out to him and after a moment's hesitation he walked forward and accepted the hug. I held his waist tightly. "What happened? What did you set up, Justin?"
	He stepped back from me with a sigh. "You have no idea what I did…"
	"You got Lance back…" Joey murmured from the bed.
	"I set it up," he said quietly. "I set it up, the whole thing, and they tailed me. They knew what I was doing."
	"The police? That's a big deal, Justin. Why didn't you tell us?"
	"I couldn't. I couldn't. I needed to do it, and I knew you guys would have to think about it like I did... I didn't have time for that."
	I should my head. "But you were so stupid. God, J… I swear…"
	"You have no idea…" he murmured. "No idea…"
	Before I could answer, Joey spoke.
	"And what happened to Lance?" 
	"It's part of what I did…" Justin answered. Slowly, he moved towards the bed and stared at Lance with a cataleptic but sad look. 
	Chris walked back into the room at that moment. "They're on their way," he announced. He approached us and noticed Justin. "Curly boy… God." He shook his head. "Well, it's finally five again..." 
	Justin shook his head and collapsed back in his chair with a dejected look. I studied him for a moment and then walked over to where Joey sat so I could get a better look at Lance. I knew it was probably better not to question him, but I had to know at least a couple of things now.
	"What happened to him, Justin?" I asked. "Is he okay?" 
	"He got shot in the leg," Justin answered. "He's still out from the surgery but they said he should wake up soon."
	"Shot?" I paused. Lance… Shot in the leg? What the hell happened? 
	"Yeah…" He sighed deeply. "They said it looked worse than it was. He should heal quickly." 
	"Jesus Christ..." Joey muttered. "Shot." 
	"Yeah..." Justin replied dimly.
	Even understanding what had just happened, and culminating all of the recent events, Justin's tone hit me. Something was still off, something about the bland way he was forming his words. 
	"Justin, what's wrong with you?" I asked with a frown, slightly frustrated. "You don't seem relieved at all. You're not hurt are you?"
	"No."
 	"Well, then what? We're all back together finally."
	He just shook his head. "I know..." 
	I let out a sharp breath. "Justin, what is it?"
	Silently, Justin got up out of his chair. He paced for a minute, glancing at Lance in the hospital bed. 
	"What?" I persisted. "What else? 
	"Nothing... I need some air." Justin walked towards the door, moving around Chris to exit to the hallway. 
	I stared at his empty chair with a frown and after a pause, I sighed. "I don't get it."
	"He'll be fine…" Joey replied. He was now holding Lance's hand, remaining glued to the side of his bed. "He's probably upset about Lance."
	"I don't want him far," I answered. "After all this, the least we can do is stick around." 
	"I'll go talk to him," Chris replied as he left as well.
	I touched the sheets covering Lance gently. "Shot in the leg…?" I shook my head. "How did that happen? Why? I mean... It's Lance. Who would want to hurt Lance..." 
	"At least he's here now," Joey answered with a frown. "I don't know what Justin did or even if he had anything to do with it, but they're back now… That's all I'm concerned about."
	I nodded, so many questions formulating. "They're back.... But is it over…?" 
:-:-:-:-:
Chris
:-:-:-:-:
	"Hey, Justin…" I started after the boy, watching him turn abruptly down a hall, his pace quickening. "Come on, man…" I jogged a little ahead so I could catch up with his long strides. I touched his arm at first, and then grabbed it, forcing us to stop. "Okay, come on…"
	Justin pulled his arm away, but stayed where he was. "I just need some space, Chris," he said. He eyed some chairs on the other side of the hall and walked over, sinking into one heavily. He hunched forward and rested his elbows on his knees, burying his face into his hands.
	I glanced around the hall and walked towards him. "Justin." I dropped into the seat beside him. "Don’t do this. Lance is lying in a hospital bed right now and I've barely gotten to see him, so —"
	"Then go back to his room," Justin retorted into his hands. "I never asked you to follow me."
	"I'm not about to leave you when you're upset," I replied.  "What's the matter? You upset about Lance?"
	A mumbled something or other was the reply.
	What was going on? What was his problem? Didn't he know he was just adding to the stress of the situation? 
	"Can I explain something to you, Justy dear?" I began sarcastically as I roughly pulled his arms down and forced him to look up. "Your mother and Lance's parents are on their way over here. We saved your scrawny ass with the pitiful explanation that you just felt like going out after a bad morning. They don't know that you were gone."
	"What?" 
	"That's right. They don't know what you did. But just wait till we get through with you."
	"They're going to find out."
	"Maybe. Maybe you'll tell them. Maybe the police will tell them. I don't know."
	"You don't understand what happened in there."
	"What do you mean?"
	"What I did."
	I noticed his change in expression. "Is that what's the matter?"
	"Chris…" Justin made a pitiful sound.
	"Are you in more trouble? They haven't told us anything, Justin. We don't even know how Lance got shot. Is that Eric guy—"
	"He's not gonna do anything." Justin shook his head. "Nothing. He's gone."
	I sighed and noticed out of the corner of my eye a nurse walking down the hall. Okay. We needed to talk somewhere private. There was something we'd learned the hard way a long time ago, and that was the pitfall of displaying emotion or private conversations publicly. 
	I stood up. "Alright, c'mon. We're gonna have a talk. Just not here."
	 He looked up and simply sighed. "I don't want to go back there yet, Chris." 
	"You do a very good 'pathetic'," I congratulated sarcastically. "I bet you can imitate standing up real well too."
	"Chris, I just wanna sit here for a bit," Justin replied lethargically. "Sit here and rot." 
	"Well, it's a hospital. They don't let people rot. I'll find a place for you to rot, though, come on," I persisted. 
	"Can't we just go somewhere?"
	"Yeah," I agreed. There had to be somewhere.
	Finally he stood up and sighed, awaiting instructions. Where was there a place to talk? If there was an empty waiting room or something… There usually weren't on floors like this. There had to be something though…
	"Okay… let's see…" I began, walking down the hall a little ways and glancing into every room I passed. I fought off my feelings of being uncomfortable, and gained a little boldness as I peaked into rooms. After a minute, I found a rare thing: an empty hospital room. Smiling at my find, I dragged Justin inside.
	"You get your own bed, Justin!" I exclaimed with forced excitement, pushing him down to sit before I took a visitor's chair for myself and pulled it closer to him. I looked him in the eye. "Alright, buddy boy…"
	"Chris…?" Justin began as he shifted uncomfortably and fingered the thin, stiff blanket he sat on. The hospital room seemed dark and stale. "I want to tell you something but I'm not sure how." 
	I stared at him quizzically. "Justin, come on. Look at me. Look who I am. What is it?"
	His eyes met mine for a moment before his expression twisted. "What isn't it?' he answered. "I don't even know where to start."   
	I frowned. "Justin, I can't read your mind. What happened? Is it Eric?"
	"Eric…" Justin echoed roughly. 
	"What'd he do?"
	"I don't know what he wanted."
	"What happened? Where is he now?" 
	"Eric's dead, Chris," he spat out.  "I think he's dead."
	That statement was like a bullet in itself.
	He didn't just say…
	I blinked. "Dead? But…How?"
	He swallowed visibly, turning his head to the side to stare out the window on the far wall. "I wanted it so, so bad… It's all I've been thinking about, dreaming about… I revolved around this idea for weeks. And then… He was right there and… I don't know…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "He was right there. And the whole thing just came together… and…"
	No. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
	God, no.
	He wasn't going to say what I thought he was gonna say. 
	"It seemed like the only thing to do," he murmured persistently. "I'd never been so sure of something…"
	"Justin…" I began with widened eyes. "I don't think I understand what happened."
	"I'm sorry…" he answered. Then, without prodding, the rest of the story quickly followed in a rambling, jumbled sentence. I listened in awe. "I picked up this thing and when he walked by and I swung and his gun went off when… when it connected to his head and Lance was on the ground because the bullet hit his leg, and suddenly I couldn't stop… I just… I just rammed it through his chest…There was blood and…"  
	After a moment I realized he had stopped speaking
	"Chris!" Justin persisted. His voice was getting softer as I didn't answer. He kept repeating my name. "Chris…?"
	"What?" I managed, staring at him. What did he want now? I couldn't bring myself to tell him it would be okay. I couldn't bring myself to even touch his arm. I couldn't believe it. 
	His eyes were wary. "I don't know if it was right. Don't hate me."
	I sighed. "I could never hate you, Justin."
	"Then why are you looking at me like that?"
	"I'm thinking. I'm reflecting." I forced myself to walk towards him. "Did you talk to anyone? Do they police know?"
	"They know. We're supposed to talk more later." 
	I moved to sit down beside him on the bed
	Justin wrapped his arms around my waist the second I came within reach of him. I winced at his hold as I ran my fingers once through his hair. 
	"It's okay, Justin… We'll figure it out." 
:-:-:-:-:	
Joey
:-:-:-:-:	
	"You guys missed the doctor."
	I turned at JC's voice to see Chris and Justin reenter the room. Their appearances had changed since they'd left. Their expressions were different. Justin had a wary look as he walked over to stare out the window. I wondered what they had talked about.
	Chris walked towards us, looking somewhat fazed. "The doctor? What'd he say?" He reached the bed and put a hand on Lance's arm.
	JC's eyes strayed from Justin at the window back to us. "Dr. McClure. She said that he's really lucky actually considering the circumstances… The bullet grazed his leg pretty deeply, I forget how many stitches she said, but it was a lot."
	"How is that lucky?" Chris replied incredulously. "He was shot for God's sake."
	"The bullet wasn't imbedded in there," I spoke up. "He went through surgery and it was clean. Their main concern was stopping the bleeding and they did. No arteries were hit—so he was really lucky. Plus he gets to come home once he wakes up and they give him the final clear. He should be able to heal quickly."
	Chris nodded in understanding, a look of relief crossing his face. 
	"The doctor congratulated whoever it was that was smart enough to know how to stop the bleeding at the scene…" JC began. He paused. "Justin, I guess that would be you, man."
	We all glanced over at the boy staring out the window, his back to us. He seemed oblivious to the world around him. Not the slightest reaction to the compliment was visible.
	"Justin," JC began.
	Justin turned and leaned against the window as he quickly fumbled with an, "Oh, sorry," response. "I was thinking." 
	The room fell silent and stayed that way for a couple minutes. It stopped when the 'adults' finally arrived. The three went directly to Lance's bed and I moved out of the way for Diane to sit. She stroked her son's cheek, murmuring soft words and trying not to show the tears that slipped down her cheek. Jim took Lance's hand in his own. 
	After a moment with them, Lynn stepped away and went over to Justin. 
	I sighed. 
	Things were resolved? Right?
:-:-:-:-:	
Justin
:-:-:-:-:	
	Lance was home. He claimed he didn't really remember what had happened. The doctor's said that it was a form of shock, and maybe denial. Maybe fear. I don't know, but I really didn't have the will to talk to him about it. It was bad enough I had to talk about it all. My only regret is that I wanted someone who understood to sympathize with me, and he was the only possibility.
	Sleeping, Lance appeared to be the same 'ol Lance that he had always been. The sweet face, the unassuming expression… But once he was awake, it was just a reminder to me what had happened. The pain sketched in his face as he tried to walk was unbearable. Because it was my fault. 
	Had I been too rash?
	I knew I was wearing a wire. I knew I had police following me. I knew that I had people that could help, with their detailed plan, to get us out of there.
	But instead I didn't wait. Instead I let my emotion get the best of me.
	But he had a gun, what was I supposed to do?
	Had I killed him?
	Really? I'd killed somebody.
	What had I done?
	Killed.
	Joey'd nearly had to carry Lance into the house. He had crutches so he could keep off his leg, but it was obvious that the effects of the drugs and surgery as well as just the pain of the leg itself was doing a double whammy on him. But he'd insisted on coming home anyway, even to the objection of his parents, who were horrified to see their son so pale and weak, yet overwhelmed to have him back. 
	Now he was on the couch downstairs, asleep, and the house was silent. Utterly silent. After an hour, Diane left Lance's side and succumbed to my mom's insistence that she sit down and eat and relax herself.
	So while everyone else was being quiet, I was too, going over some stuff. I knew the police would be coming over to take statements at some point, and I tried to keep that in the back of my mind. 
	"Justin."
	I looked up as JC entered my room cautiously, an 'am I interrupting anything?' look on his face. I gestured him in.
	"Come, look." I patted the space on my bed next to me and he walked over slowly. 
	"What is it?" he asked as he took a seat and tousled my hair. He looked down at the objects on the bedspread. "Pictures?" He frowned and picked one up. "Where'd you get these?"
	"Eric," I answered without a pause as I looked at the one he'd picked up. There had been some markings on some of the picture, but it had rubbed off without too much effort. "He had them." 
	His eyebrows went up briefly and he dropped the picture. "Oh."
	"JC…" I began slowly, swallowing. Now or never. "Can I tell you something?"
	"You just did," he replied before laughing. "Of course you can; why do you ask that?"
	"You might not want to know this…" I answered. His face remained smiling. How could he smile? He must not have any idea.
	"Sure, I do," he objected. "Then I've got some really good news to tell you. That's what I came looking for you for. Wanna know it first?"
	"I need to say this." I picked up a picture of the five of us walking towards a car and played with the bent edge nervously. I'd been really lucky so far. No one had hollered at me yet for my disappearing act; they'd seemed to have forgotten. Or they realized it wasn't worth being mad over.
	"Okay. But I think i should tell you the news that I have first. The police called." 
	"The police?" I echoed. "Are they still coming by?"
	"They are," he replied. "They want your whole story, but they wanted to keep us updated." 
	"Updated with what?"
	"They found Eric." 
	I paused, freezing for moment. "He's dead."
	"What?" JC answered. "Who told you that?" I hadn't told anyone but Chris my story. That's what I need to tell JC now. I needed to confess to him. But before I could, he continued. "No. Listen. He was alive. He is alive. They said he had a really bad concussion, and was injured, but he didn't get far. Why are you giving me that look? I just spoke to the police, Justin."
	"But I saw him," I persisted. "He was dead."
	"I don't know what to tell you, Justin. He's alive."
	I didn't know what I felt. I hadn't killed him. He was still alive. Was this good?  "So… where is he?"
 	"You don’t have to worry about him. You'll never see him again. The only thing we have left to worry about is Johnny killing us about Lance, and giving our albino some TLC for a while." 
	I nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. Trying to understand how this would change what I planned to tell the police later.
	"What's wrong, Justin?" JC persisted. "I thought this was good news. He's in custody. He has a lot of charges against him. You'll never see him again."
	"I know."
	"Then whats the matter? You look like you just saw a ghost."
	I stared at the pictures sprawled out on the bed and slowly shook my head. "No. It's good news. It's really good news. I just have to... take it all in."
	"Good. We can all finally get back to normal, J, right? This is all okay now."
	I nodded. 
	"So, before I gave you all that info," JC persisted. "What did you want to tell me?"
	"Nothing," I answered. "Really, it was nothing."
	"You sure?"
	I nodded and pushed the photos together in a pile. "Yeah." 
	"Alright. Well if you want to tell me, you know I'm always here."
	"I know."
	"I was gonna watch a movie with Chris and Joe..." he started, changing the subject. "You wanna come downstairs and watch with us?"
	I was about to say no, and then I realized I couldn't keep in my room with my thoughts like this. It wasn't helping.
	"Yeah, I'll come."
	"Good." JC pushed himself up off my bed. "No more secrets, Justin. From this day forward, it's all over and we're a group again."
	I stood up, following him towards the door. "No arguments here." 
:-:-:-:-:	
:-:-:-:-:	
	The dark haired man smiled to himself as he readjusted his hands in the tight restraints. He gave a little sigh and shifted in bed so that he could have a view of a window instead of the plain white wall. 
	He hummed a song to himself. "—up my heart when I'm with you… and when we are apart…" 
	He trailed off.
	"Never gaze too long." 

:-:-:-:-:	
	
finis Dec 2000