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THE SHAME THAT VICTIM'S CARRIES

by Rose Katts

The shame of sexually abused and an incest victim is unique for each individual.

They most of the time feel dirty, damaged and very different from others.

They knew that something was wrong but didn't know that they were being violated and felt very dirty even if they were too young to understand the meaning of sexuality.

The belief that "it's all my fault" is so very intense and those beliefs foster very strong feeling of shame into adulthood.

The incest/sexually abused victims have feelings of being dirty, bad and being responsible creating tremendous isolation.

One of the strongest feelings is feeling of aloneness, isolation both within the family and so much more on the outside world.

This isolation often prevents them from making friends which in turn can force them back to the aggressor for some attention.

Victims of incest/sexual abuse carry so much shame and guilt while blaming themselves.

Incest/Sexual abuse is one of the cruelest traumas for a child and it betrays the very heart of childhood which is their innocence.

Victims' of incest do not have to be touched or assaulted but if they have experience the invasion of their privacy can be as psychologically damaging to their well-being.

The only way victim's cans survive their early traumas is to push the memories so far beneath their subconscious that they may not surface for many years and sometime never.

The memories may come out when the person is in therapy or in a group or something happens to their child which will trigger the memories.

The memories usually come out when it is safe for them and many survivors panic and try to push them back and not believing that it happened to them.

Incest/sexual victims usually develop a false self to relate to the world in order to act as everything is fine and very normal.

In the world of a child that has been abused there are so much confusion and terror that they cannot handle the trauma and sometimes create other alters to deal with the traumas.

There are so much sadness, loneliness and such great isolation that the real self inside is in such agony that little joy and pleasures are experience because of feelings of worthlessness.

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