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TWIN SISTERS GROWN APART

by Rose Katts 1990

 

Tell me how have we grown so far apart in the years? We shared the same wound for nine months and slowly we grew so far apart over the years.

We shared the same crib and bed wrapped in our separate blankets. In the night we would end up unwrapped with our arm around each other.

The adults in our lives slowly pushed us apart by comparing us with each other. I felt a distance beginning when I failed a grade and then our father made it loud and clear that you were more intelligent.

I failed a grade because I could not see the blackboard or read and needed glasses so very badly.

As the years went by the competition was so overwelming to me. Trying to be like you so that our parents would be proud of me also however the more I tried, the more I failed to meet their expectation.

Even as an adult when I accomplished getting certificates from college and award from school it was not important cause in their eyes you accomplish more.

You were not responsible for the distance we had as children but as adult you chose not to have anything to do with me.

One day over fifteen years ago you told me "never to phone you again if all I could do was to talk about the past".

I needed validation and information from you but instead you closed the door and have not heard from each other in years.

Just because I let out the shameful secret. More than 15 years later we meet again and still you do not want to hear my cry and you want to sweep everything under the rug.

I need to be heard by my twin and yet the denial stand in the way of us being close.

Have we grown so far apart in distance and in our heart because I feel unheard by my twin sister?

I suffer chronic pain in silence and can not reach out to my twin sister because I know from trying in the past that she is not able to hear my cry.

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