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  by Allison Katts 1991

A survivor may have been so wounded in the past when reaching out or help or may have been disbelieved whether it was in childhood or having parents that were toxic.

We may have reached out to unsupportive or untrained people who did not have the knowledge or the ability to hear their pain because they may have unresolved childhood pains.

There are even professional that are unhealthy and judgmental.

When you work with a good counselor or a therapist, you should be able to feel believed and understood.

If you don't feel respected, valued or understood, talk about it to them.

If the counselor discount your feeling then your not getting respect that is needed to heal.

Through writing and talking you can get your needs met and be respected.

I have had to struggle in finding caring, supportive people for help and didn't give up.

Begin by risking one little thing at the time and see how it feels to you then if it work share more.

If it doesn't keep looking and don't give up cause it is our responsibility as adults to seek help and get help.

By holding in our feeling, thoughts, concerns and creativities we become the false self, which feels bad and dirty and blames ourselves.

Our suppressed emotion built up after a while and eventually blow up sometimes at the wrong person and then we feel more shame and guilt.

We cannot handle it alone and we need to let it out in a safe way rather than holding it in and then having it come out impulsively through pain in our bodies or it turning into compulsive behaviors.

In telling our story we talk about what is important to us and what is meaningful, confusing or painful from our past or in the present.

Only by risking, sharing we interact and discover more of ourselves and then we begin to heal ourselves which help integrate the true selves.

Committing ourselves to work through our pain and grieving our loss we then begin to share our feelings and free ourselves from its pain.

By sharing and risking we become aware of it's affect on ourselves through becoming aware we can then transform our dysfunctional parts.

Transforming ourselves into positive and more functional parts and out of victims' stand is what worth it.

We do have choices as adults to or not free ourselves from our past.

We can make it a better place for our children to grow in.

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