RATIONALIZING THEIR BEHAVIORS
© BY ALLISON KATTS
[cry of a victim in therapy]
Some people rationalize the abuser behaviors by saying to us that "Something might have happened to them."
The abuser denied our feeling and needs and they were just plain being selfish.
The incest/sexual abuse victim also rationalizes which is the only way that they can cope with it.
We as victims put enough blame on ourselves and we have search for reason of "WHY DID IT HAPPEN TO ME"
We have builds so much self-blame and self shame onto ourselves without our therapist or counselors doing the same to us.
The incest/sexually abused victims when seeking help does not feel safe to opening up their emotion when others tend to rationalize the abusers' behavior or reason of "WHY THE ABUSER HAS BECOME ABUSIVE WITH US."
That can happen so much to victim seeking help and so lots of time victims are deterred from seeking help.
When seeking help the incest/sexual abused victim need the most is to be believed and foremost to be heard.
They need their feelings acknowledge and guidance to be able to get in touch with their suppressed emotions.
How can an incest/sexually abuse victim open up when there is
RATIONALIZING THEIR BEHAVIORS?
When there is rationalizing then as victims we feel that we are not worthy of our needs so we shut down emotionally especially when there is constant rationalizing.
When we are hurting from suppressed memories and emotions of our past, we desperately need to be heard in a nonjudgmental way.
The incest/sexually abused victims usually feels unloved and needed unconditional love and the feeling of safety when seeking help.
The incest/sexual abused victim need to feel that they are more important then the abuser because they were the ones that had their needs taken away.
When a incest/sexually abused victims seek help they need to feel that they are worthy of unconditional love and feelings of safety.
The incest/sexually abused victims needs to feel that they count more than the abuser does because they were the ones that had their lives shattered by the abusers' behaviors.
Having to struggle with a counselors or therapist or layman rationalizing the abuser's behaviors is one of the hardest to combat while seeking help.height="10">
There is no reason to rationalize the "abuser's behavior"as though it is not their fault that they have abuse a child or children.
THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE REASONS.
It is not the responsibility of the victim but of the abusers to seek help just like the victim does.
The abusers need to take responsibility for themselves in order to make it safe for the children.
The victim has suffered enough and the abusers have taken their innocence and have shattered their lives.
Some victims have their lives so shattered that they have Multiple Personality Disorder in order to cope with their traumas of the past.
Victims' lives are shattered beyond belief but we have survived the best way that we know how and sometime continue being a victim and cannot get BEYOND VICTIMS.
By rationalizing the abusers' behavior it is very difficult to get beyond victim.