Chapter 3
Tapper came out of his distillery with a barrel full of sarsaparilla ale when he saw his fellow Smurf Duncan McSmurf at work fixing up the damage that was left behind by Papa Smurf. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, my fellow Duncan, what was smurfing on out here while I was busy?" Tapper asked.
"You should have seen it, laddie," Duncan McSmurf said. "Papa Smurf became this big muscular smurf that was smurfing up the village until he saw Smurfette, and then Empath stepped in and smurfed the lassie away from him, and that made him so angry that he chased after Empath."
"Oh dear," Tapper said, sounding a bit fearful. "I just hope that Empath and Smurfette are all right, and that we can figure out what made Papa Smurf become the thing that he is now."
"Ah, here comes the laddie now," Duncan said as he turned and saw Empath flying back into the village with Smurfette in his arms.
Hefty greeted
Empath with some consternation. "What the smurf had happened to Papa Smurf,
Empath?" he asked. "And where is Papa Smurf now?"
"Papa Smurf is
currently out in the forest, trying to pick up Smurfette's scent, Hefty," Empath
answered. "This smurf led him out there with Smurfette when we found out."
"It was awful,"
Smurfette added. "Papa Smurf had smurfed into this beastly creature and he
grabbed me and smurfed me so hard against his chest I couldn't breathe!"
"I hate beastly
creatures!" Grouchy threw in.
"Well, as long
as this smurf has Smurfette shielded, Papa Smurf can't pick up her scent and
come back to the village, so we're safe for now," Empath continued.
"So how did Papa
Smurf become this beastly in the first place?" Brainy asked.
"That's what
this smurf wants you and Tracker to find out, Brainy," Empath replied. "Papa
Smurf was in his laboratory where the whole thing got started, which is where
you should start looking."
"His lab was so
full of smoke, we need to smurf it all out before we can go in, Empath," Tracker
reported.
"Handy's
breathing device should help either of you out," Empath reminded them. "We need
to get started, because this smurf can only keep Smurfette shielded from Papa
Smurf's nose for a short time." He flinched briefly when he felt a slight throb
of pain in his head, which made Smurfette look at him with some concern.
"We're already
smurfing on it, Empath," Brainy affirmed, joining Tracker as they headed to
Handy's workshop.
As soon as the
air has been cleared, Brainy and Tracker examined the wreckage in Papa Smurf's
laboratory. They could see the Smurfette sculpture Papa Smurf was working on now
turned into mush by an overturned table. Throughout the whole search, Tracker
smelled the air around him and noted something strange about it.
"Smurfs like
some of Papa Smurf's chemicals have been mixed in with something else of a
magical nature," Tracker stated. "Already I'm smurfing a bit more energetic than
I already am, like being around Smurfette."
Brainy, who was
wearing Handy's breathing mask left over from when a smelly creature from the
far corner of the world had hatched in the village during Empath's absence,
found an atomizer on the floor. "Tracker, what do you smurf of this?" Brainy
asked as he handed Tracker the atomizer.
Tracker sniffed
around the atomizer and noted something of it. "I do believe that's where the
something else that mixed in with his chemicals smurfs from," he replied.
Tracker and
Brainy turned over the atomizer to Empath, who recognized it for what it was.
"That is Vanity's pheromone cologne, Tracker," Empath gasped.
"Well, whatever
it was, it certainly got smurfed in with the chemicals in his laboratory and
smurfed into something else," Tracker commented. "Papa Smurf must have breathed
in a lot of this, because the air had mutasmurfic properties in it."
"That was my
conclusion all along, Tracker," Brainy snapped as he removed the breathing mask
from his face.
Empath could
figure out the rest. "Apparently, Papa Smurf does have a crush on you,
Smurfette," he told her. "He must have wanted to try this pheromone cologne out
in order to attract you, and it ended up turning him into this love-crazed
muscular grotesquerie of himself."
"You mean Nosey
and Editor were right about him?" Smurfette asked. "That Papa Smurf is in love
with me?"
"He's physically
in love with you, Smurfette," Empath explained, "but his heart and his mind are
not that attracted to you. That's the whole point of having a crush…" He stopped
when he felt a sharp pain in his head that made him clutch his forehead.
Smurfette looked
at Empath in concern. "What's happening, Empath?" she asked.
Empath groaned
slightly as the pain lessened, though it was still present. "This smurf's third
eye is starting to weaken, Smurfette," he managed to say. "This smurf cannot
keep you forever shielded from Papa Smurf's ability to pick up your scent
because it is draining this smurf's physical and mental energies."
"Oh, no,"
Smurfette gasped. "We have to smurf Papa Smurf back to normal before that
happens!"
"Unfortunately,
Smurfette, the only way we can smurf him back to normal is if Papa Smurf
actually smurfed it with you," Tracker warned. "If that air he breathed in
smurfed up his desire to be around you like that, it won't reverse itself until
that happens!"
"Papa Smurf has to mate with me?!?" Smurfette asked, not believing her own ears.
"Michty me, I sure don't want to think of Papa Smurf wanting to smurf that to the darling lass!" Duncan said.
"I would have to agree with you on that thought, my fellow Duncan, as inappropriate as it smurfs," Tapper said.
"Then we must find a way to keep Smurfette's scent blocked and also give Papa Smurf something to expend his built-up energy on to restore him to normal," Empath suggested, who was now clutching his head a bit more because of his mental energy being expended. "Brainy, you must come up with a pheromone blocker as well as an artificial version of Smurfette's scent to lure Papa Smurf away from Smurfette."
"Anything to
prove I'm as good as an assistant to Papa Smurf," Brainy replied eagerly. "You
can smurf on me to help, Empath." He quickly rushed off to get started.
Smurfette
noticed Empath was headed to Tailor's house and stayed close to him so she would
remain shielded until Brainy can find out how to create a pheromone blocker.
"What are you smurfing to Tailor for, Empath?" she asked, curious about the
whole thing.
Empath felt
slightly embarrassed to answer, but for the sake of her safety he had to tell
her. "We need that something to give Papa Smurf to transform him back to
normal," he replied. "And Tailor is the only Smurf who can make that
something very quickly and skillfully."
Tailor looked at
Empath as if he had gone crazy.
"You want me to
smurf you a life-size doll of Smurfette?" he asked. “I hope it isn’t because you
have some persmurfed thing in mind.”
"This smurf can
assure you, it isn't for this smurf's use," Empath answered, trying hard to
fight off the growing pain in his head. "We need to get a Smurfette doll made up
or else Papa Smurf will come back for Smurfette and...smurf her!"
"All right, all
right," Tailor fussed. "I'll start smurfing it up. Just don't blow your smurf in
here!" He started to get his materials for the doll.
Duncan was waiting outside Tapper's Tavern when Vanity came around. "Say, Duncan, have you seen Tapper around?" Vanity asked. "I feel that I need to smurf with him right this instant."
"I'm sorry, laddie, but Tapper's busy praying to his Almighty right now, and I'm here to make sure that he isn't dissmurfed," Duncan answered. "Why, what's the matter?"
"I've heard that my pheromone cologne was responsible for smurfing Papa Smurf into a muscular brute that was after Smurfette," Vanity said. "I feel that the whole thing was all my fault, because I gave Papa Smurf the cologne to smurf onto, to keep it out of my hands."
"So that's where the cologne smurfed from," Duncan said, realizing it for himself. "Well, laddie, I don't blame you for how you're feeling right now, but I don't think you should be blaming yourself. If anything, Papa probably got a little curious and tried to smurf some on himself to see what would happen."
"But I don't see how just that cologne could smurf him into what he became -- not that I find it smurfticularly attractive or anything," Vanity said.
"We're smurfing on a way to get Papa Smurf back to his old smurfy self soon, Vanity," Duncan said, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder to show some empathy.
"I'd hate to think of anything that would happen to Smurfette," Vanity said. "I don't think I'd be able to smurf with myself knowing that."
"We won't let it smurf to that, laddie, I promise you," Duncan said, sounding confident.
Meanwhile, in
the forest, Papa Smurf had started to become angry again. He couldn't pick up
Smurfette's scent anywhere, and now he felt hurt because of it. He picked up
rocks and threw them around, scaring off whatever animals were nearby, and even
knocked down some small trees. He growled in anguish as his temper grew.
The only thing
that was on Papa Smurf's mind was Smurfette, and he was intent on finding her
again, no matter what stood in the way.