Chapter 1
It was on
another beautiful morning in the Smurf Village when Empath awakened, fresh from
another night of sound sleep and aware of the fact that a whole two months had
passed since he left Psychelia for good and since Gargamel has last set foot in
the forest.
It was nice for
him to step out and see the village back the way it looked before the evil human
wizard nearly destroyed it. Frankly, it was better to step out and see everyone
getting ready for the day ahead at their own pace than it was in Psychelia. Over
there, everybody had to follow a routine set for them by the Psyche Master,
which had to be followed to the letter and allowed for no deviation or brief
recreation. Laziness and leisure had no place in Psychelia, so he remembered his
instructors saying.
Empath passed by
Lazy on his way to wherever the day would take him. He made no move to wake him
up. He just smiled at the oversleeping Smurf. Be fortunate your life was
never lived in Psychelia, my fellow Lazy, Empath bade him silently.
"Smurf o' the morning to you, my fellow Empath," Tapper greeted as Empath met him and Duncan McSmurf at the breakfast line. "Ready to smurf your day with a nice hearty breakfast?"
"This smurf can't wait to see what's on the menu for today, Tapper," Empath said. "Eating nutrient paste in Psychelia was sufficent, but it sure lacks the variety of home-cooked meals in the Smurf Village."
"You should have smurfed here a few years ago when Greedy had smurfed us his big pancake breakfast, laddie," Duncan said. "Why, the pancakes were so light that they were just smurfing in the air, and so were we after we had smurfed them."
"Aye, it surely wasn't how I wanted to be smurfing up to heaven, I'm telling you," Tapper said, rolling his eyes at the thought.
"A good thing that Clumsy and Lazy hadn't smurfed those pancakes, or else we would have been smurfing around forever for who knows how long," Duncan said. "Of course, it didn't help that Gargamel was smurfing around after us, but then Clumsy's pancakes had us smurfing back to the ground and out of harm's way."
Empath laughed. "If only this smurf was here around the time when this was happening, this smurf might have had a hand in keeping you safe from Gargamel and who knows what."
"You were smurfly missed, I can tell you that," Tapper said. "But even if you weren't here, I still have faith that the Almighty will protect us and smurf us under the shelter of His wings long enough so that all the Smurfs can witness the truth of His existence and the power of His might and salvation."
Duncan chuckled. "If that's what you want to believe, Tapper, then so be it. I'm more apt to believe that it's the spirits of the McSmurf clan smurfing over us and keeping us safe."
"This smurf wouldn't know exactly what to believe as for what divine being is in control as our protector," Empath said. "Just as long as this smurf isn't forced into worshiping somebody that this smurf feels is too restrictive about our lives, then this smurf will be happy."
"There's nothing restrictive about smurfing your life in the Almighty, Empath, just as long as you're willing to trust and obey, for there's no other way that will be truly satisfying to live," Tapper said. "He just watches over you like a good shepherd, to keep you in all your ways, and in His everlasting arms He shall smurf you up, that you won't smurf your foot upon a stone."
"I'd say to let the laddie smurf enough time to enjoy his freedom before he makes any decision of who or what he wants to devote his spirit life to, Tapper," Duncan said.
"Thanks for the support, Duncan," Empath said. "This smurf couldn't agree with you more."
"Just know that I'll be praying for you and the entire village, my fellow Empath, that it may become your desire to know the Almighty and to smurf after Him with all your heart," Tapper said. "In the meantime, I'm going to be busy this morning in my distillery, smurfing the sarsaparilla ale ready for my customers."
"Have you ever tried brewing other kinds of ale besides sarsaparilla ale?" Empath asked.
"Only a few times have I tried smurfing that barley ale, which is similar to what the humans drink in their villages, but alas, there are only a few Smurfs here who would want to smurf such a tasteless ale like that," Tapper answered. "I still have bottles of that ale that I couldn't even smurf away on the hottest day of the year."
"I'd rather be smurfing that stuff than the filth that humans call ale, which tastes really nasty, like something that smurfs out the other end of a horse," Duncan added. "I can smurf why our good friends Johan and Peewit prefer wine over ale."
Empath cringed at the description. "This smurf will surely remember that whenever this smurf ever visits a human tavern for anything, Duncan."
Tapper laughed. "That's one thing you won't have to worry about when it smurfs to my ales, Empath. They will always be clean and tasteful...well, except for the barley ale...and you'll never have to think about their origin, as colorful as Duncan's description of human ale may be."
"Maybe later on this smurf may help you empty the stock of tasteless ale that you have, just to enjoy something that isn't sweet after a day's worth of meals, Tapper," Empath said.
"I'll be happy to smurf you a bottle when the tavern's open," Tapper said. "How about you, my fellow Duncan?"
Duncan snorted. "Too bland for me. I'll stick with a real Smurfsman's drink, thank you very much."
"Ah, well, to each his own, as I would say," Tapper sighed as he, Duncan, and Empath got their breakfasts and settled down to enjoy the meal.
After he had his
breakfast, Empath began his rounds as the assistant counselor, observing
everything going on and offering meager assistance to whoever asked for it. For
the most part, everything was just going along smurfily — which to Empath
meant that it was too peaceful for him. A small part of him lived for a bit of
excitement, which he knew was not what a true Psyche would crave for.
He came by
Smurfette's house and saw her busy at work on her house, with Papa Smurf already
there holding the ladder for her. "Salutations, Papa Smurf and Smurfette,"
Empath greeted. "This smurf didn't expect to see the both of you here!"
"Well, I needed
somebody to help me smurf up the holes in my roof because it's been starting to
leak in my bedroom," Smurfette answered, "and Papa Smurf just happened to be
here right after breakfast to hold the ladder for me!"
"It's no real
problem at all, Smurfette," Papa Smurf called. "There wasn't much else for me to
smurf today in my lab!"
"How's it going
down there, anyway?" Smurfette asked.
Empath noticed
that Papa Smurf was looking up at Smurfette in a rather offensive manner when he
answered her. "Oh, just smurfing fine!" he chuckled.
"Just hold on
for a minute more, Papa Smurf!" she called down.
"No need to
rush, Smurfette! I can smurf here all day!" Papa Smurf replied.
Empath frowned
as he continued to observe Papa Smurf. He sensed that the leader's eyes got
wider as he saw Smurfette from behind, and his mouth was constantly gaping open.
What's going on with you, Papa Smurf, he wondered.
"Okay, Papa
Smurf, I'm done," Smurfette announced. "I'm starting my way down the ladder!"
She slowly descended carrying the pail of mortar and an old spatula she used for
the caulking in one hand when the next rung her foot landed on broke, and she
found herself falling, crying for help.
"Don't worry,
Smurfette...I've got you!" Papa Smurf responded as he quickly caught her in his
arms.
"Gee, thanks,
Papa Smurf," Smurfette calmly answered after she let out a sigh of relief. "I
really appreciated your help this morning!"
"It was my
pleasure, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said, though he looked as if he didn't want
this moment to end.
"Uh...Papa
Smurf," she gently reminded, "You can let go of me now!"
"Oh...sorry,
Smurfette," Papa Smurf humbly responded, as he allowed Smurfette to be back on
her feet. He tried to maintain as friendly a smile as he watched her go into her
house to remove her work apron, but he knew Empath was watching him like a hawk.
He felt like a Smurfling whose hand had been found sneaking into a cookie jar —
or someplace rather unmentionable.
"This smurf
would like to talk to you, Papa Smurf," Empath finally said as he and Papa Smurf
started to walk a little distance away from Smurfette's house. "This smurf is
becoming a little concerned about you."
"Oh?" Papa Smurf
wondered. "What is it about me that you need to concern yoursmurf about?"
"The way you've
been acting around Smurfette," Empath answered. "This smurf has noticed that
you've been staring at her in what Brainy would call a lasmurfious
manner, and then when she fell and you caught her, you held her in your arms for
a bit too long!"
"Empath, Empath,
Empath!" Papa Smurf chided. "You're probably smurfing into things that just
aren't smurfening! All that's going on is just me helping Smurfette out."
"This smurf can
tell there is more to it than just that, Papa Smurf," Empath persisted. "This
smurf can sense feelings in you that are similar to that of my fellow Smurfs — a
sense of pleasure whenever you're around Smurfette, and a sense of deprival
whenever you're not around her. If this smurf didn't know any better, this smurf
could say you're having an amorous infatuation with Smurfette!"
Papa Smurf could
feel himself getting red in the face from the embarrassment of having to hear
Empath say exactly what he was feeling. And he certainly didn't like it.
"WELL, I DON'T
NEED YOU CONSMURFLY READING MY MIND OUT TO ME LIKE THAT!" he shouted angrily at
Empath. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE MY THOUGHTS ALONE?"
Empath hardly
felt hurt by Papa Smurf's sudden flash of anger. But he did sense that he might
have overstepped his boundaries when sensing somebody's feelings.
"This smurf
apologizes for intruding upon your thoughts, Papa Smurf," Empath said. "It was
not this smurf's intention to violate your privacy in any way."
Papa Smurf
snorted in disbelief at that before he went off.
Smurfette joined
Empath as he watched Papa Smurf walk off. "What was that all about, Empath?" she
asked. "Sounds like you just smurfed a nerve in Papa Smurf!"
"This smurf
wishes to know exactly that," Empath replied, shaking his head. "He's certainly
not been behaving like himself lately!"
"Well, I do
appreciate him helping me out in the past few days," Smurfette sighed, "though I
can't undersmurf why he's been smurfing around me. Is he that afraid that I
can't smurf things for mysmurf nowadays?"
"All this
smurf's been noticing is that he has been staring up at you with some rather...personal
thoughts on his mind," Empath answered as he and Smurfette started walking
together. "This smurf doesn't try to invade someone's private thoughts without
good reason, but this smurf had to know why."
"Hey, Empath,
want to smurf the latest news on Papa Smurf's whereabouts?" Editor asked as the
two of them passed by his newsstand, where he passed out the daily Smurf Village
Voice to whoever would read it.
"What is it to
you that you want the village to know about me and Papa Smurf?" Smurfette
snarled, already offended that some other Smurf would take such interest in
spreading around personal information.
"Well, it's no
secret, Smurfette," Editor sheepishly answered. "Nosey and I have been smurfing
the scoop on what he's been smurfing with himself, and it seems that Papa
Smurf's got some sort of big crush on you! Last night, he asked Vanity for a
floral arrangement that he wanted to smurf to somebody, and we just figured they
were probably for you. Two days before, he's borrowed from fresh clay from
Sculptor, and Brainy thinks he's been seeing Papa Smurf smurfing a bust of you
in his off-hours. In any case, he's certainly got you on his mind lately, and
it's probably because Cupid's been smurfing his love arrows on him."
"This smurf
would rather settle for facts instead of just hearsay and speculation, if it's
all the same to you, Editor," Empath objected mildly.
"Go peddle your
unsmurfy laundry to someone else and smurf out of my affairs!" Smurfette
remarked with a bit more hostility in her voice as they walked off.
When they were
alone again, Smurfette asked, "Do you think it's true what they're saying,
Empath — that Papa Smurf is in love with me like all the other Smurfs?"
Empath rolled
his eyes skyward, repulsed at the thought. "This smurf doesn't know, Smurfette,
though the thought of it makes me worried for you as well as for this smurf!"
Smurfette
giggled. "Gee, Empath, it sounds to me like you're jealous of Papa Smurf!"
Empath looked at
her. "Me? This smurf...jealous? Of PAPA SMURF?"
"I can already
smurf the green in your face right now, Empath," Smurfette continued.
"What does this
smurf need to feel so jealous about, Smurfette?" Empath asked, like he was the
one being interrogated here. "Papa Smurf is 547 years old! Besides, he's already
had a wife years ago and he's the village leader and father figure to all the
other Smurfs here, including you and this smurf. It just wouldn't be right for
him to have those kind of...feelings for you like he's just one of the
other Smurfs! He's just too old for you!"
Smurfette
laughed at that, which made Empath feel even more defensive. "What is so funny
about that, Smurfette?" he asked.
"The reaction on
your face, Empath, is what's so funny," Smurfette replied, trying to settle down
from her laugh. "You really think that I would smurf those same types of
feelings for Papa Smurf as I do for all the other Smurfs and you. Truthfully,
though, I do care for Papa Smurf, but I care for him only because he's like a
father to me. I wouldn't smurf anything to him that would hurt him or any other
Smurf. And by the way, I do think that you are jealous!"
Empath settled
down when he realized that Smurfette was just kidding around with him about the
jealousy bit. "This smurf never thought I would have to deal with the feeling
that this smurf was competing against Papa Smurf for the affections of a female
Smurf!" he said. "Sometimes this smurf wishes that life among the Smurfs wasn't
getting so...complicated."
"Yoo-hoo,
Empath!" another Smurf called out. Empath saw Vanity approaching him carrying
his hand mirror in one hand and an atomizer in another. "I think I have smurfed
the perfect solution for attracting the one real love in my life — mysmurf, that
is!"
Empath found
this to be somewhat amusing. "You're seriously believing that wearing a new type
of cologne will help you stay attracted to yourself, Vanity?"
"Oh, it isn't
just any type of cologne, Empath," Vanity told him. "It's smurfed with the
pheromones of the birds, bees, and flowers, a true all-natural solution. Just
one smurf of this and the object of your desire will be smurfing at your feet at
an instant. Oh, I just can't wait to try this on myself!"
Smurfette rolled
her eyes in total disbelief. "Oh, Vanity, you can't seriously believe that stuff
will work!"
"Vanity, this
smurf isn't saying your intentions were bad or anything," Empath said, "but this
smurf just doesn't think that wearing a powerful new cologne will make you any
more attractive to yourself than you already are. If anything, it's more likely
to make you too attractive to everyone else. Personally, this smurf thinks you
are perfect enough for yourself just the way you are."
Vanity looked at
Empath as if he had never heard any Smurf tell him something that honest about
him before. "Do you really think I am that perfect without needing this
pheromone cologne, Empath?"
"If this smurf
was you, this smurf wouldn't try changing anything about yourself that you
already know and love," Empath replied honestly.
Vanity felt so
taken by Empath's sensitivity, he gave his atomizer a second look. "You know,
Empath, maybe you are right. Maybe I am perfect the way I am." He looked at
himself in his mirror and found that Empath was being truthful about him. "Oh,
the sheer ecstasy of knowing how perfect you are without having to improve on
it! Thanks, Empath...I know just what to do with this pheromone cologne now!" he
said excitedly.
"This smurf is
honored to help you out, Vanity," Empath responded with a smile as he watched
Vanity walk quickly away in another direction, constantly kissing his
reflection.
Smurfette
laughed at that. She never thought Vanity would ever not need anything to make
himself look better than he already is to himself.
"What some
Smurfs wouldn't do for the object of their affections, Smurfette!" Empath
exclaimed as he rubbed his chin, still amused from dealing with Vanity's
dilemma.
Smurfette just
noticed Empath rubbing his chin. "Gee, Empath, you not only sounded like Papa
Smurf at that moment, you also acted like him!" she mentioned.
Empath didn't
realize this until he found what his hand was doing on his face. "Well,
Smurfette, this smurf does admire Papa Smurf. It's just unfortunate that this
smurf doesn't have his beard," he remarked. He briefly thought about how he
would look wearing a beard and then pushed away that thought, realizing he
wouldn't be able to grow his first set of whiskers for another 150 years.
"You know,
Empath, I still think you're jealous of Papa Smurf," Smurfette jested.
"Well, maybe
this smurf is just a little..." Empath said sheepishly.