For that comfortable feeling while flying!!!!!!!!


Supposedly real control tower transcripts.

*** Any More Complaints? ***
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a
360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between
aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two
thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand
dollars worth."

*** What the...?!***
PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower
and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem; go ahead
and let PSA go first." The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before
United had a chance to object to the impersonation.

*** Which Exit Did You Say That Was? ***
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his
approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy,
turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of
Highway 101 back to the airport."

*** Mmmm-mmm, Good! ***
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure...by the way, as we
lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7...did you copy the report from Eastern?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff...and yes, we copied
Eastern and
we've already notified our caterers."

*** No, That's not what I Said! ***
O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3
miles, eastbound."

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got that
Fokker in sight.