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10/03/01
Vs Athletico Jizzmen
Half time
0-1
Full time <1-4
Team: Andrew, R. Blair
(C), Churchley, Hunter, Kennedy, G. Clarke, Smith, P. Clarke, Justice,
Belcher, Harrison. Subs: Hunter (Davison 30), Blair (Belcher 35), Williams
(Smith 45).
It was always going to be a tough game against Jizzmen
who were second placed in the league, but Brazil were not daunted and from
the outset stamped their class on the game. Kennedy and Smith combined
well to release Justice down the left who’s cross was met by Belcher at
full stretch with a diving header which the keeper did well to save. A
crunching challenge from Belcher caused the first out burst from Jizzmens
no. 3, who for anominities sake shall be known only as ‘Fat Bastard’, who
threatened to drop him after the game (scary stuff), which unlike his
stomach was an empty promise. Brazil pressed forward with the front 2
combining well on several occasions, imparticular when Harrision knocked
down for Belcher to strike a swerving volley from 25yds that went narrowly
wide. Brazil got a warning of things to come when one of Jizzmens
beanpoles won of header off a corner but Andrew saved well. A good run on
the right by Clarke skinned ‘Fat Bastard’ and centred for the incoming
Harrison who proceeded to fall over the ball and miss a sitter from 5 yds
out, but to be fair he got 9.1 for artistic impression, Belcher scored
with the rebound but it was ruled out for a hand ball by Harrison. A
minute before half time a long throw from Jizzmen saw one of their bean
poles head home to take the lead 0-1.
Second
Half
Half time saw Davison replaced by Hunter to try and combat the
Ariel threat from Jizzmen. Jizzmen realising that they were outplayed in
the midfield resorted to the Wimbledon style – punt it in the air and hope
one of their lanky bean poles got on the end of it, which began to work
well for them against the vertically challenged Brazil side. A corner from
Jizzmen saw them score a second 0-2. S. Blair made his return from
injury for Belcher, as the Brazilian midfield struggled to get to grip
with the match as the ball spent most of its time in the stratosphere. It
was no surprise when yet another long Jizzmen throw was header in, all be
it by a different lanky bean pole. Soon after the ref gave a dubious
penalty against Hunter, but I suspect this was so a Jizzman player could
say they scored with their feet. Williams replaced Smith with Justice
moving into the middle, a tactical switch saw Brazil go to 3-5-2, with R.
Blair shifted to midfield. A great run by Hunter from defence saw him skip
2 challenges before being clattered by ‘Fat Bastard’ who earned himself a
yellow card. For some reason ‘Fat Bastard’ had a lot to smile about during
the game which beats me, as if I that fat, with girly breasts, I am not
sure if I would see the funny side of it. S. Blair tested the Jizzmen
keeper with a fizzing long range drive before linking well to set up R.
Blair for an easy finish.1-4.
Final score : Brazil 1 – Wimbledon
– I mean Jizzmen 4
“Brazil played the better football, when it
wasn’t 60 feet in the air”
Ref:- 8/10
Man of the
Match- ‘Fat Bastard’ Jizzmans no. 3 for making me feel better about
myself as no matter how unfit I will ever get I will never be as fat and
untalented as him.
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