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Theresa knows how to get what she wants, with her looks alone she has men throwing themselves at her waiting in line just for a chance to buy her gifts. She doesn't like getting in the ring, but don't underestimate her, because when she wrestles she lets her strength show. Theresa occasionally teams up with Ann because they have alot in common.
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One half of The Ashleys, Ashley I is known as the looks of the operation. The Ashleys are willing to do anything to win, even if they have to sleep their way to the top.
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One half of The Ashleys, Ashley II is known as the strength of the operation. Although she suffers from a disease that leaves little use of her right hand, she has managed to become a wrestler. She is known for using her wrist brace and her cup as weapons, often getting her disqualified.
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This girl has caused her parents nothing but trouble. She has been on the backs of many milk cartons. At 14, Jailbait is the youngest ELOW Superstar.
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Cloaked entirely, we know little about this mysterious woman. She is led to the ring
by her husband Osama Bin Rotten, who beats her if she upsets him in anyway. She
usually teams up with Rosie O'Nasty.
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The Wicked Witch
Making a grand entrance on her broom, you'd really beleive The Wicked Witch has magically powers. But her entrance is where it ends. Although she beleives she has powers, she's proven time and time again that the only power she has is the power to run her mouth. The Wicked Witch is very predjudiced and usually teams up with The Confederate.
The Confederate
Not much is known about The Confederate except the fact that she is from the south and that she is predjudiced. She usually teams up with The Wicked Witch.
The Yentas: Coffee and Cigarettes
In their robes and slippers, with cold cream on their faces and shower caps, The Yentas can be a scary site. Coffee and Cigarettes have been friends for years.
Cuddles
This chubby 40 year old woman thinks that she's a teenage debutante, and is always seen drinking TAB soda.
Rosie O'Nasty
This loud, fat stand up comediene is very obnoxious. She hates men, and is usually seen shooting Koosh Balls at her opponents. She usually teams up with Afghanastania.
Klepto the Klown
Klepto is crazy, so stay out of her way! She occasionally teams up with Dr. Anna Bortion.
Dr. Anna Bortion
This evil abortion doctor likes to kidnap pregnant women and perform abortions on them without their permission. Since nobody has every seen a diploma, it is unlikely that she is even a real doctor. She occasionally teams up with Klepto the Klown.
Mother Corpse has dug up her sons grave many times, and been in and out of mental hospitals all her life. With her zombie like make-up, she can be very scary, especially when she carries a piece of her son to the ring!
Pamela M. Smith, esq.
This feminist lawyer will do anything to win. She usually teams up with Chonnie Cung.
Chonnie Cung
Chonnie is an Asian news reporter who likes to ruin peoples careers by making up vicious stories. She usually teams up with Pamela M. Smith, esq.
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