Guy Question 3

Q:My ex-boyfriend dumped me about half a year ago, and I cannot seem to let go. I still think of him constantly, and I love him with all of my heart. He has a new girlfriend now and they seem so perfect together — I don't know what to do. I feel lost without him. Help!


A:The loss of a close relationship can be really hard, and it can take time to get over the feeling of sadness. You and your ex probably used to spend a lot of time together, and you have plenty of nice memories of him. It's natural to miss him and feel a little lonely, so you'll probably have to put in some extra effort to keeping busy and being social. Seek out your best friends, and spend time with them at the mall or the movies, or at each other's houses. Let your friends know that you're feeling low and need them to help you cheer up. Make sure you have plans with people for at least one night on the weekends, and that you hang out or talk to them on the phone most days after school. If you are not involved in a sport or a club, maybe you should think about joining one after school, because that will keep you busy — and you'll probably wind up having fun and meeting some cool new people in the process. None of these things will replace your relationship, but it will help you feel better. Your ex-boyfriend seems fairly well into a new relationship, so it doesn't seem that the two of you will be getting back together. At some point — probably sooner than you think — you will be ready to move on, and you'll find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. How can we say this with such confidence? Because everyone on the planet who is happily coupled up now has definitely been dumped before. But as long as you do some things for yourself, you won't feel this way forever. —Kate Forest, MSW