© Susi Franco

Some people go their whole lives
And never fall in love.

I am done with being angry
Done with being hurt
Because you do not
Love
With me.
The passing of time
Like pages turning too fast to be read
Has changed Loves' requirements
For me.

I said I didn't want a prince
And I got exactly
What I asked for.
You are no prince.

No, hardly royalty,
Just a confused man
Running from his own doubts,
Lying automatically
Out of ill-defined habit,
Trying to survive
His own voracious needs.

Even seeing you
Without
The kind cloak of
Lovelorn metamorphosis
I find a peace
In your arms
I know not
Elsewhere.
My skin does not thrill
When another man touches me

As it does
With you.

I did not ask to love you
And you did not ask for me to.
It comes as an undeniable
Force of nature ;
Just as heartbeat comes
One after the other
Without benefit of conscious thought
To propel it.

You trace the line of my cheek
With your fingertip
And I cannot breathe
For a second.
You pick my hand up, put your lips to my fingers
(No man does that except you)
And my eyes close involuntarily.
You come back to the bed to kiss me goodbye
Just one more time
Four times,
Laughing.
The sight of you in my bath-robe
Makes me smile
Even when you are not here
Even when I am sad about
Everything else.
You call me on your way home
Just to say you are thinking of me.

What woman would
not love those things
Or the man who does them ?

I have no need for insipid daydreams of veils and rings
No space in my life for ivy-covered cottages.
My life is wrapped up in
Much more tangible
Reliable things.
I am too old, too experienced and trail-weary
For such onomastic foolishness.

But I could use the utility
your nearness
Your smile
Your visage
Provide.
And I know the sun shines a little brighter
When you call.
I know other women
Prize you just as I.
They do not know
There are
other women, though.
They do not know the reality of you
The way I do
No would they offer you the freedom
I give
If they did.

You'll come back to me
After the chase is done
And the prize is sacked
No matter what pretty eyes
Enchant
Or what tender arms
Wrap round you,
I am the only one
Who does not demand.
That gives me a power
No one else can ever have.
I understand
The drive that makes you offer
Those highly detailed lies.

At times, I pity your infirmity;
Want to hold you close
Stroke your dear head
Allay your monsters
Rock you and murmur "
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhh".
I am the asset in your life
You have not yet acknowledged.
Most likely, you never will.
I have accepted that.

You'll be back
And I'll be waiting
Because I love you
And I don't know
How
Not to.
That is
my infirmity.