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With each new issue of the "DeSoto Thought Police", we will be adding new articles to this page. They may be excerpts of articles from future-issued 'Zines... or, they could be complete articles from past 'Zines. And, who knows... maybe we'll add in some bonus articles every once in a while...so, keep checking it out! This week's featured article is: PEAS ARE PATRIOTIC -written by Caplee By the time this hits print, U.S. bombs will probably be raining indiscriminate death upon the country of Iraq. If not, just wait a couple weeks. Trust me. The U.S. has no intention of allowing Saddam to disarm. Inspections deciding the fate of Iraq are about as legitimate as Osama's last "threat tape". It has already been decided. Pack yer bags kids. WE ARE GOING TO WAR. Don't get me wrong. I am not by any means sympathizing with Saddam Hussein. I'm not a big fan of weapons of mass destruction myself. Not half as much as the man preaching behind the podium. If little Georgie is so worried about making the world a safer place, then maybe he could take some initiative himself. The U.S. has enough nukes to wipe out most of humanity, with missiles targeted at "every reasonable adversary". You better believe that includes Iraq. If I had my way, everyone would have to recycle their nukes to build flower gardens for the elderly, but since that's rather unlikely, don't you think it's just a bit unfair that everyone but the U.S. and it's allies are expected to disarm? Yeah, the leaders of this country are incredibly interested in peace. We've backed out on the anti-ballistic missile treaty signed with the USSR after the cold war, refused to sign the nuclear test ban treaty, which was signed by over 164 other countries, and even disregarded new protocol to the 1972 biological weapons treaty. Why did we refuse to sign new protocol? ...Give up? (This is the funny part). It's because it would require INSPECTIONS of our biological weapons facilities. Sound familiar? Jeez, I guess we better bomb ourselves. Maybe the UN will be a little more willing to give their support in this case. I guess it's just the hypocrisy of the whole situation that really gets to me. I agree that Saddam Hussein is a bad dude. He's almost as crazy as our president is dimwitted, but we're going about this all the wrong way. The guy has got it good right now. He's got everything he could possibly want. Our sanctions against Iraq, which could be responsible for the deaths of over half a million children ("worth it", in the words of former secretary of state Madeleine Albright), haven't done jack shit to Saddam himself. He's got everything to lose. ...Unless of course we bomb the falafel out of him and his country and give him nothing to lose. It's the caged animal philosophy. When backed into a corner I have no doubt that he will retaliate with any chemical or biological weapons he might have. It's unlikely that citizens such as us could be harmed here in the cradle of democracy, but countries such as Israel or Turkey, as well as U.S. troops would be fairly easy targets. I have a feeling this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Not only would a war in Iraq destabilize the already fragile region, it would provoke retaliation among other Arab nations. I don't have a solution. I just know that Baby Bush and his trigger-happy buddies have potential to make a big mess out of things. Peace is patriotic. Unfortunately I don't give a shit. Patriotism is fucking stupid. Peace just makes sense. -Cap