BY
TOM HORNER
The bright warm sun washing his face awakened Phil. Wrens singing beyond the closed windows signaled the cold and snowy winter's surrender. This winter had been exceedingly harsh, with the snow beginning in October and continued with unusual savagery until just a few days before. Although the calendar showed March fifteen, there was still a four-inch coating of snow hiding the budding spring grass. Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, was most miserably conservative. Six weeks to spring, hah!
Despite the spring feeling and the sun's warmth, depression seemed to entrap him with a heaviness that seemed to foretell disaster. The feeling was becoming very common since his coronary bypass grafts and usually forecasted angina pain. With awareness that this could be the last day of his life, he bowed his head: "Father, if this is the day you call me, I pray You will find me worthy, - no -, I pray You will MAKE me worthy to serve You. Cleanse me with the Blood of the Lamb. Amen."
Immediately the weight lifted and the feeling of confidence returned and cheered him. Reassured, he dressed and went to greet his early arising wife, Ellen. After a quick kiss, he headed for the coffee pot.
Ellen asked, "Are you still planning on taking those fish back to THE AQUARIUM?"
"Yes, I planned to go this afternoon. Did you have something else in mind?"
The two were marriage partners for nearly forty years. They had long since worked out a compatible relationship.
"No. We can go if that is what you want.
"I almost talked myself out of taking them back until I watched the larger Oscar go over to the biggest and fullest live plant and pull it out of the gravel. You know how I like the underwater plants. I think I would sooner have the plants than the fish. At least the water would not have to be changed so often. Anyway, after watching the Oscar pull out that plant,I decided today was the day."
"When do you want to leave?" she asked.
"No hurry. We can have a leisurely breakfast and then go. I don't feel speedy this morning."
"Well, I wasn't going to chase you out without breakfast. I needed an idea when you wanted to go so I could plan my day."
He chuckled, "I didn't think you would send me out into the cold, cruel world without breakfast. Even you can't be that heartless."
"So you think I am heartless?" she said lightly tossing a potholder at him.
"Heartless, yes, and apparently vicious also," he said, catching the potholder and lobbing it back.
Reaching for him, she planted a loving kiss firmly on his lips and asked, "What do you want to eat?"
"I'm in the mood for something exotic. How about some pancakes with strawberries. There are some thawed, aren't there?"
"You know there are. I suppose you want whipped cream on them also?"
"Of course, what else?"
The banter was light and happy between these longtime partners who had traveled such a long, hard road together. Life had not been easy, but with the flickering flames of faith to sustain them they endured. Now that they were retired and the children were settled, they were taking time to enjoy each other.
Phil's heart condition was both a worry and a blessing. The surgery went well but the recovery was very slow. Fortunately, Social Security came through before public welfare became a necessity. Although the checks were meager, Medicare paid most of the medical bills and there was still enough for a modest, if conservative, life style.
After a sumptuous meal of homemade pancakes and strawberries from last year's garden, they caught the fish and left. The trip was pleasant, with the sun shining happily in their faces as they drove.
A clenching pressure returned to his chest, but not wanting to concern Ellen, he said nothing. The pain didn't leave as he hoped. Discreetly unscrewing the cap from the nitroglycerin container attached to his key-ring, he surreptitiously slid the small tablet under his tongue.
Immediately, he felt the stinging of the rapidly dissolving tablet. Within a few short minutes, the usual headache arrived as the pain in his chest subsided. He mentally breathed a sigh of relief. This was not yet the time.
Finding the two store owners, he stood in front of them, politely awaiting the conversation's end. To his frustration, they continued talking as though he were not there. Their rudeness angered him and he whirled on his heals to search for fish to replace the two he was returning.
Phil rounded an aisle, allowing a customer to inconsiderately push past heading toward the front counter upon which he had placed the heavy container. As he grousingly muttered under his breath, another customer rushed right at him. Jumping aside, he fell against an open shelving display.
To his surprise, Phil felt no pain and looking down, he saw the upper half of his body as well as the lower part of his right thigh, knee and half of his calf were sticking through the pegboard. Looking to his left, he saw, with a start, most of his left arm projecting from the same shelf.
Making a deliberate effort, he jerked himself upright. He pulled the errant body parts to the same side of the partition then looked incredulously at the offending display. To his amazement, there appeared to be no damage to the shelving or the pegboard partition. It was as if he had not crashed into it at all.
While staring at the shelving, another customer rushed toward him, running full force into him. Phil was too astounded to have time to brace himself for the impact and expected to be knocked down, but to his considerable astonishment, the customer ran through him without slowing.
The impossibility was overwhelming! What was happening here, He wondered? Such things were impossible! First he falls through a display shelf, then a man ran through him as though he had no substance.
His stupefaction continued until he looked directly into the face of his long dead father, Ross. "Dad, is that you?"
"Who does it look like? Of course it's me."
"But Dad - - - you died."
"Of course."
"But if you are dead, how can I see you standing here, in front of me?"
"That's not too hard to explain. I'm not the only one dead."
"Of course not," Phil stammered in exasperation. "People die all the time. That doesn't explain how I can see you. What's happening to me?"
Ross, sympathetic concern on his face, said, "Son, apparently you are not aware of your situation. Come over here, I want to show you something."
Phil's consternation continued as he followed his father around the aisle to see a crowd in front of the counter. Several customers were bending over a man, flat on his back, on the floor. Ellen was furiously applying CPR upon the man.
"Who is that, Dad?"
"Look closer, Son.
Attempting to push through the crowd, he found that he easily slipped to the inner circle and was standing over his wife, who was breathing into the collapsed man's mouth. As she pulled away to continue pushing on his chest, Phil's mouth fell open.
"Dad! How can this be? This guy looks like me."
"Take it easy, son. That man was you. You passed from mortality to immortality."
"You mean that I'm dead!"
"Your body is dead. Your spirit lives."
"What happened?"
"You had a heart attack. Didn't you notice the symptoms?"
"I had chest pain and there seemed to be a pressure on my chest, but I have that frequently. Why should it be any different this time?"
"Your time is up, that's all. It's time to go now. Say goodby to Ellen, then we must go."
Phil leaned over his now still wife, who had ceased CPR and was crying.
He placed his hands around her face and slowly kissed her. Whispering into her ear, he said, "I am okay honey. Don't worry for me. Everything will be all right."
Ellen seemed to hear him, or at least sense his presence, for she slowly stood up and said, "Everything is okay. He is okay."
By this time a group of Emergency Medical Technicians arrived to place a stethoscope first to the body's chest, then over his carotid arteries. The EMT with the stethoscope solemnly looked up and shook his head negatively.
Ellen spoke up, "He's dead, but he is okay."
"Yes, ma'am. He is gone. Are you related to him?"
"Yes. He is - was my husband." The tears were reestablishing dominance.
"If you can, ma'am, we need to ask some questions."
At this, Phil felt a tap on his shoulder. His father was speaking to him, "Come on, son. We must go now."
Suddenly remembering his father's earlier lifestyle, a crushing fear paralyzed him. "Da-. Daa-. D-D-Dad. Where are we going?"
"Why we are going home. You earned your reward."
"But Dad - - - which way is home? Up or down?"
Ross stood looking at his son with the well remembered whimsical smile. "Why would you ask that? Don't you feel confident you are saved?"
"I feel that I am saved, but -?"
"But what, son? - Oh, - I see. You thought that I went into the lake of fire, didn't you?"
"I remember your life style while I was growing up. You had a blistering temper, you cheated on Mom, you frequently broke the law and you were the meanest drunk I have ever known. I assumed that life style would lead to condemnation."
"It does. Tell me, son. Have you always lived a perfect life?"
"Nooooo. No way. I am improving as I get older, but there are some things in my past - I daily thank GOD for his forgiveness."
"Do you feel that GOD could not forgive me?"
"I - No, of course not. He will forgive anyone who believes in Jesus and repents. But although you acknowledged the existence of a supreme power, I didn't think you believed in Jesus."
"I found the truth through television before I died. Actually, I found my Savior though a television ministry. I, too, thank GOD daily, but now, in person.
"If you are satisfied, son, we have to go. It is time.
Phil felt a soft warm glow on his face, accompanied by a bright light.
It felt like sunshine.
Confused, he could faintly hear the wrens singing from the other side of the closed windows.
To his astonishment, he was in his bed. Suspiciously expecting his hand to slide through, he clutched the pillow beneath his head. It bunched up in his hand. Slowly realization arrived. It had all been a dream. Taking a deep breath, he slowly exhaled. He was still here.
The sun's warmth was welcome, but there was a feeling of melancholy and depression, a feeling of impending doom which had pervaded his dream. This was more than the constant depression of coronary disease or the routine depression of diabetes. It insinuated itself into the core of his being and there was a heaviness pressing upon him seeming to foretell of disaster. This feeling was no longer a stranger since his coronary bypass and usually foretold of angina pain. If that were true today, it would be a whopper!
With the thought that this could be his last day, he bowed his head: "Father, if You call me this day, I pray that you will MAKE me worthy to serve you. Cleanse me with the Blood of the Lamb. Thy will, not mine, be done. Amen."
The weight immediately lifted and a feeling of confidence returned along with his usual good nature. With this feeling of assurance, he dressed and went downstairs to greet his early arising wife, Ellen. After a quick kiss, he headed for the coffee pot.
"I would like to take those fish back to trade in. Did you have something else in mind?"
"No, we can go if you want. When do you want to leave?" she asked.
"I don't feel speedy this morning. Let's have a leisurely breakfast then go. I'm in no hurry to do anything."
"Well, I wasn't going to chase you out without breakfast. Pulling his face to her, she gave him a loving kiss and asked, "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Surprise me. I'm agreeable to anything you're in a mood to make."
"How about bacon, eggs and hash brown potatoes?"
"Sounds great to me."
He really loved her and was so grateful she felt the same about him.
After a sumptuous meal, they caught the fish, placed them in a Styrofoam container half-filled with water and left. The trip was pleasant, with the sun shining happily in their faces as they drove.
Phil felt a strong, uncomfortable pressure envelop his chest with a painful tingling racing down his left arm. Trying not to concern Ellen, he discreetly unscrewed the cap from the nitroglycerin container upon his key-ring, surreptitiously sliding the small tablet under his tongue while Ellen pretended not to see.
The few customers in the store lazily meandered among the rows of aquariums. Ellen immediately went to the marine fish section while Phil deposited the heavy fish container onto the counter.
A jolt of pain rammed into the center of his chest, causing him to stagger backward then falling forward to his knees facing the front floor. The pain dispersed as he caught himself and feeling a sense of peace, he began to search for the store owners to complete the trade-in.
Finding the couple who owned the store, he stood in front of them politely awaiting their conversation to end. Rudely, they continued talking, completely ignoring him. Their neglect angered him and spinning on his heals, he began searching for fish to replace those he had returned.
A customer brusquely jostled past, heading toward the counter from which he had just come. As he groused under his breath, another customer rushed directly at him. Jumping aside, he fell against an open shelving display. Losing balance, he went flying head first into the shelving. To his surprise, he looked down to see parts of his body sticking through the pegboard.
Remembering his dream, he wondered if he had died and looked about for his father. To his dismay, his father was standing a few feet away with that well remembered whimsical smile.
"Hello, son,"
"Dad?"
THE END