A Day In The Life Of Sean... especially written for you, dear fan

The Manics were busy rehearsing a new track in a secret location. Or so they thought until Sean looked out of the window only to see one of his most obsessed fans stood there. “Fuck!” he exclaimed. Nicky jumped out of his skin, spitting his ribena all down his white top. “Now look what you made me do!” James got up and walked out of the room without explanation. Sean sighed. He wanted to go shopping, but he didn’t want to encounter his fan. “Look!” said Nicky “just go if you’re going!” Sean decided to go out the back way.

He opened the door and checked all directions, no-one was around. So he made his way out, until he heard a strange noise, looked round and 3 of Nicky’s most obsessive fans were heading straight for him. They must have been hiding somewhere! Sean knew there was no escape so he stopped and posed for photos, signed CD booklets, answered questions about Nicky’s whereabouts, accepted kisses, compliments and near-fainting attacks, until he could stand it no more. Worse, his most obsessive fan had realised what all the commotion was about. He made some excuse about having a schedule to keep and ran back to the safety of the studio. Only to be greeted by an irate Nicky.

“I was watching you, from the window! Those were my fans, not yours” Sean was taken aback. “But I didn’t see them, I thought there was no-one about!” Nicky raised his eyebrows, as if this wasn’t enough. “I went out that way because I didn’t want to see someone out the front!” Nicky frowned. “She keeps following me everywhere” ... “Are you sure it’s not one of James’s?” asked Nicky. Sean was upset now. “Can’t I have a fan, then?!” ... “I didn’t say that” said Nicky. “You insinuated it”. James appeared, sipping coffee. “What are you bitching about?” he enquired. “And have you worked out that bass part yet?” Nicky sighed and returned to practise. “We don’t need you” said James to Sean “you can go out for a bit, you’ll only put him off, watching him”.

Sean looked out of the window. He stood just far enough back so she couldn’t see him. She was standing very near to his Vespa. He’d brought it along for shopping trips (taxi drivers had started recognising him and he was sick of them singing Design For Life for the duration of the journey) “I can’t do this with him stood there hovering over me!” said Nicky, getting more stressed. “I don’t sit there while he works out the drums”. James gave Sean a look. Straight out of the Tolerate video...

Sean zipped up his parka. He had no choice. He swung open the front door, and strode over to his beloved machine. She hadn’t seen him, she was studying the Vespa intently. What should he do?! Suddenly, she turned round. And was face to face with him. They stared at eachother for what seemed like an eternity. Nicky was at the window, grinning. “Good thinking, James” he said. “Knew you could get him out there” ... “Let me see” said James. Meanwhile Sean looked away from his fan and got on the bike. She spoke.

“I’ve always wanted one” (she lied) He smiled nervously. It wouldn’t start. “Was it expensive?” ... “I don’t know how much it cost” (he lied) “I just saw it and I had to have it”. “Wow!” she said. The Nicky fans were coming over. Nicky opened the window and yelled “Get me a paper and James wants...” James put his hand over Nicky’s mouth, knowing he was going to say something disgusting, and closed the window.

“I’d love to ride on it” she said. “I’m not sure about that” he replied “I almost crashed it the first time”. “No! You give me a ride” she said “I could squeeze on”. The Nicky fans were shouting at the window. “Oh get on, then” said Sean “only round the car park though”. “I love you!” she squealed. The Nicky fans looked on in jealousy as the Vespa finally started and Sean showed off his driving skills. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Why didn’t he just say No?

The Nicky fans talked amongst themselves. “Look at her, who does she think she is?” ... “You’re only jealous because you didn’t ask him for a ride” ... “Why would I do that? I’m a Nicky fan” ... “Well for a Nicky fan, you don’t half go on about Sean a lot” said her friend. “I don’t!” ... “You do!”

Back in the studio, Nicky grabbed his video camera. “I must film this!” he said. James sat down, laughing. Just like the old days, he thought. A car screeched to a halt and out got a well-known journalist, arriving to talk to Nicky. Sean stopped the bike, nearly hitting the car. “Get off!” he said “Get OFF!” The fan did as she was told, and Sean drove off at top speed (or as fast as a Vespa will go anyway) looking behind to see the fans surrounding the journo. “Brilliant!” said Nicky from the window “look who it isn’t”

Sean decided he hated the fans, always intruding in his otherwise peaceful life, and wouldn’t return to the studio today. Oh no, today would be an adventure. He turned off the main road and headed for the country. Leaving Nicky at the mercy of the journalist, or should that be the journalist at the mercy of Nicky.

“Sean’s gone for a ride” said Nicky. “That was Sean?” asked the journo. “Yeah” said Nicky “playing with his toy”. Oh God, thought James. He’s in that mood. “Sean thinks it’s funny to disappear for hours, we never know where he’s going” ... “But at least Sean comes back” bitched James. “Coffee?”

Sean didn’t know where he was going, he just kept driving until the nearby town was out of sight. And he thought how he’d be happy if he never went back, ever. He pulled up outside a quaint country pub, and sat taking in his surroundings. “Are you OK?” asked the woman from the pub, collecting glasses from the outside tables. “Yes, thanks” he replied. “Don’t suppose you can drink and drive” she said, the tone of her voice making slight fun of his chosen transport. “Orange juice?” Sean resisted the urge to ask for ribena, this was the real world after all. “OK, thanks”. “I’ve never seen you here before, just passing?” ... “You could say that”.

Sean drank his juice, and made a hasty retreat before she extracted his life story from him. “See you again!” she shouted after him. Today he seemed to be spending all his time fighting off mad women. Never mind that, Nicky had been relentlessly teasing him over a letter one of his male fans had written to a magazine. And, to make matters worse, he had suddenly started getting letters from die-hard Nicky fans telling him how cute they thought he was “ever since he got rid of the beard”. Really!

It had started to rain, maybe time to turn back. The woman was still outside the pub, waving. That’d be the life, he thought. Buy a country pub and ride round the countryside all day. But no shops. Dilemma. He’d still have time to go shopping if he went back now.

Nicky was in his element, giving away all Sean’s secrets, the latest films he’d watched, what Sean thought of them. “So, is there
really a Cult of Sean fans?” enquired the journo. “That’s what I want to know” retorted Nick. “There’s one especially ardent fan who follows him everywhere”. “So it’s just the one?” ... “Well, they’re quite solitary, really” ... “Different to say your fans?” ... “ James was feeling a bit left out. “Well” said Nicky “mine tend to be more sociable, a Sean fan would probably just stand there and look at you. A bit like Sean, really”. The journo wondered when Sean would be back. He didn’t especially want to speak to him, anyway. Maybe he’d make a move now, having recently written some rather strange things about the Manics drummer, greatly offending Sean’s fans.

Sean had by now made his way back, had noticed the journo’s car was still there, and let himself quietly into the building. He listened at the door to the studio. Nicky was in full flow. “Sean didn’t have any fans in 1993” (I did, thought Sean) “Not til he cut his hair!”. Sean couldn’t believe it. “So, you think he cut it to attract girls?” James looked slightly worried. He didn’t, did he?! Nicky was getting bored. “The new single, well, we’re rehearsing it, sounds good...”

But the journo wouldn’t let it drop. “So, this Cult?” ... Sean walked in, and fixed his glare on the journalist. The journo stood up, looking guilty. And then, Sean did something he had never done before...

“I read what you wrote about me and I think it’s the biggest load of shite I’ve ever seen in my entire life!” Each word was said with slow determination, making it even more scary. James went white. Nicky forgot to breathe. All eyes were on the journo. “I couldn’t believe it, after all the times I was civil to you. You’re just a...” there was a pause that seemed to last an eternity... “LOWLIFE!” The journalist drew a horrified breath... Nicky stared in disbelief.

Sean had left the outside door unlocked. His fan was stood there, and she’d heard it all. She strode up to the journalist and slapped him across the face. “Anyone who hurts my Sean hurts me!” she said. And then she did something which is unprintable (he limped back to his car) James was trying to get a light. Nicky sat down, shaking. “Did you get my paper, then?” he asked blearily.

But Sean was out in the corridor, trying to recover from the shock. “I hated what he wrote about you” she said. “But don’t worry, some of us understand you”. “Where did the Nicky fans go?” asked Sean. “Well” she said “after that journo had told them a few juicy facts about Nicky, they were happy”. He suddenly looked at his fan in a different light. Still, he wanted to say why don’t you go home and get a life...

But she had. She put down her pen. She was just daydreaming, afterall... (or was she) I hope all you Sean fans enjoyed this little story. I know I did. And I feel much better after writing it. And incase you’re wondering, any similarity of the characters in this story to real life people (i.e. one particular journalist who shall remain nameless) was totally intended. Wait, there’s more...

Sean wanted to repay her but he didn’t know how. He unzipped one of the many pockets in his parka and pulled out his shiny gold credit card. He handed it to her. “I wonder if you’d like to go shopping with me?” At that she couldn’t speak (because it was every Sean fans unrealised fantasy to go shopping with their hero)

Nicky appeared in the doorway. “Don’t do it” he joked “I once went shopping with Sean and by the end of it, I couldn’t walk, he wouldn’t let me sit down, he just kept going from shop to shop, he is totally addicted”. James appeared next to Nicky “When I went shopping with him, I thought I was going to have to forcibly drag him out of the shop. He kept saying “just one more” but when he’d been in another five, I went home”

But Sean was outside, already starting up the Vespa. “You’d better go” said Nicky “he can’t go shopping without that” (looking at the credit card in her hand) She ran out of the door, the last thing she heard was Nicky shouting “have a good time” ... As they were driving towards the local town, all she could think was “what have I let myself in for” and “where on earth is he going to put everything that he’s bought?” And who would believe her when she told them?

They pulled up at a snobby pay car park, something she was not used to (where she came from you never paid for a parking space) Sean seemed to know the way (she remembered him saying he’d been shopping in nearly every city in the UK, his knowledge seemed to extend to small towns, too) She ran to keep up, feeling like a complete fool. After all, this just did not happen to you, did it? Maybe she would wake up in a minute. And where were they heading anyway. A trendy designer clothing shop? An electrical retailers? Surely not... Dixons? Sean stood outside to catch his breath... “That new console comes out today” he said “why do you think I was so desperate to go shopping?!”

They stood in the doorway to Dixons. She thought she was going to be relentlessly spoiled but oh no, Sean only wanted to get his hands on Sonic the bloody Hedgehog. “I’ve spent the last few years killing and blasting things and now I feel like something cute”

She heard laughter and saw the Nicky fans coming down the street. She felt inferior to them in their leopard print and eyeliner. She’d look bloody ridiculous if she dressed like that. But she heard what they were saying. “And did you see her?!” said one “it very nearly didn’t start with her on the back of it” ... “Give me Nicky anyday” said another.

Sean heard them too. Of course he did. And it hurt. They both walked in the shop with their heads down, feeling dejected. There was a huge display that said “Get your Dreamcast here”. Sean’s eyes lit up. And a huge picture of Sonic in mid-game action. Sean couldn’t find his credit card and started to panic. Then she remembered and gave it to him. He went over to make the transaction. 2 minutes later he returned, empty handed. “They’ve sold out and they won’t let me have the shop model, even though I said I’d pay more”. Then he walked out in silence.

Oh God. This was terrible. She went up to the counter. “Do you know who that was?” They looked at her like she was daft. “Oh, stuff it!” she said. “I just want to go home and sleep” he said. Oh this was bad. “But there must be other shops you could try?” she asked. He pointed at his expensive watch. “It’s nearly closing time!” So it was. “We could try?” But it was pointless. They wouldn't have any either. So they walked back to the scooter in silence. It wasn’t there. Sean looked round helplessly. Everything was going wrong. It had started to rain again, this time heavier. She ran over to a nearby bus shelter. She didn’t know what to do. Or say.

When she turned round, he was heading towards her. “I’m sorry, it’s just a shock, that’s all” he said. “Today has been a bit of a

bastard”. She saw the journalist drive past, he didn’t see them. Not that they could ask him for a lift now. Sean got out his mobile. She stared at it in horror. “They kill you!” He ignored her, waiting for an answer.

“Nick? It’s me, someone stole my bike... I know!! ... I can’t be asked, I just wanna come back” There was a pause. Sean listened intently and then told them where he was. “Ok see you ... James and Nick will come for us after Nick’s watched the sport. Then we’re going out to see a film” Oh, she wasn’t sure about that. “I want to go home” she said “Where can we drop you?” So it was decided. They waited. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t. He didn’t know what to say either, so he didn’t. To make it worse, the Nicky fans arrived at the bus stop on their way home. Oh God!

She tried to look anywhere but at them. Sean tried to hide in his furry hood. But they recognised him. “Where’s Nicky?” said the loudest. “Oh look, it’s her” said another. “What’s she doing with Sean?!” questioned a 3rd under her breath. The bus came. And they got on, without taking their eyes off her once. She started to cry. Why did they hate her so much? Just because she didn’t look like them? She couldn’t stand it anymore.

Sean gave them a death look as the bus drove off. “Are they always like that?” he asked. “Sometimes. Probably because I don’t dress like them and I don’t know the lyrics and I don’t read those books” Sean could identify with that. “I never liked having to wear that stuff, and Nick used to try and make me. But I was having none of it” She still looked pathetic. “When they tried to spray me gold, I just walked off!” She smiled, because she knew full well he’d done that. “I thought that was brilliant!” she said. “I mean” said Sean “can you imagine ME in that photo?” There was no answer to that really.

A taxi pulled up, and Sean got in the back next to Nicky, so she got in next to Sean. James was in the front, smoking with the window open. No-one said anything. She gave her address, which was quite a long way away, and Nicky looked bored. “I don’t know about this film” he said “I’ve been in the studio all day, I’d really rather go back to the hotel” So they did. It was the best in town. Well, she thought, they might as well enjoy their fame because one day, it will be gone. Nicky got out. “See you then!”

“He’s in a bit of a nark today” apologised James. “As ever, these days” said Sean. “What’s this film again?” James told him. “I’d rather go back and watch the DVD than some arthouse shit” he said. James turned round. “It isn’t arthouse shit, just because it’s low budget doesn’t mean it’s shit!” Oh not an argument. “Yes but at least on the DVD I can stop it when I want, or watch it again if I missed a bit” Talk about sibling rivalry. “Yes but Sean” retorted James “the whole IDEA of going to the cinema is just that, it’s a CINEMA” A blank expression came across Sean’s face. “You can’t smoke anyway” ... “Oh bloody hell” answered James. Anyway tonight, Sean had wanted to play the new Sonic game, hadn’t he.

They had forgotten she was there. The taxi driver gave her a nervous smile. “Right, I’ll go on my own” said James. “And I can WALK” And with that he got out of the taxi. So the taxi set off in the direction of her town. Finally they pulled up at the end of her road. “Here we are then” said the driver. Sean looked around. “Oh, we played near here once, I thought we had. Just down the road there. On our first tour” ... “Oh did you?” You could tell he didn’t want to be alone. “I’ve got to go” she said “It’s getting late” ... “OK see you” said Sean. She thanked him for the lift. So the day was all over, that was it. She started walking away, waving. Just as the taxi went out of sight, she looked away. Back to reality, then...

“Wait!” came a voice. Who said that? It was Sean, coming towards her. What on earth? “I didn’t feel like going back alone, Nicky will be asleep, James will only get drunk after the film. You don’t mind if we go and look at the place I mentioned? I’ve never seen it since” Well she couldn’t say no. So they went.

Outside the now derelict building, Sean stood there and reminisced to himself. He looked really sad. She looked up at it. What a dump, she thought. “It’s been like this for years” she said. “So, you had to play places like this?” It was getting dark. “I wish we hadn’t come here now... I just wish I had the Dreamcast” ... “You know, there may be a way to get one” ... “No, I’ll have to go down first thing tomorrow. I wanted to play it tonight. We’re going soon, and then we’ll be busy” ... “I know someone who sent off for one from the catalogue and it was supposed to arrive today” she said. “I can’t impose like that” he said. She was having none of it. “Well, what else have you got to do?” she replied. He tried to explain that he didn’t want to, but she was already off down the street. She disappeared into a nearby house, for what seemed like an eternity. “They don’t believe me” she said “they accused me of being on drugs or something. As long as it’s just for tonight, it’s OK. They don’t believe it’s for you, though” She handed him the box “Only ‘cos they haven’t paid for it yet... they figured I’m trying to impress someone” Well she was, wasn’t she... “But better not hang about with that, round here. Come on”

Within 5 minutes they had it all set up and the game onscreen. Thank god she had just bought a 20” screen stereo TV or she would have been so embarrassed. The day had been so horrible, that this was the only way to save it. Suddenly, Sean’s mobile rang. “Where the fuck are you?” came a voice on the other end. It was Nicky. “James is back - the film was shit - but where are you?” Sean turned off the phone. Just for once in my life, he thought, let me forget I was ever in the Manic Street Preachers. “Er... won’t Nicky worry?” she asked. But Sean was already engrossed in the game.

So, she went off to make coffee, not quite believing that Sean was in her living room playing Sonic The Hedgehog! Oh, he must be hungry. She was starving. So she decided to cook something. Then, she realised she didn’t have the first idea what to make. Chip butties it was then. He would think she was so common (true)

Sean perched Sonic safely on the top of a precipice and looked around the room. He’d always secretly wondered what his fans were really like. His eyes wandered to the PC. Not bad, he thought. There was a PlayStation permanently plugged into another TV, and lots of games. This was just like his house... And suddenly he wanted to go home. And never have to set foot in another studio again. But there was no time for dreaming... he was on a Sonic adventure... She brought the coffee and chips in and sat down on the settee... “It’s so cute, isn’t it? I’ve played all the others but I was going to get this when it came down in price” ... She was putting him off. “You don’t mind if I play it all night, do you?” he asked, eyes fixed on the screen. “Oh no, I would” ...