vending machine station leaflet stand seats
fridge bottled water cigarette shelves bins
in my head egg plastic sandwich cartons
percolated commuting briefcases
poster faces sugar free paper cups
energy drink dribbling and snotting
brian the carpet bag golf umbrella
peeling plaster on the hoof of his hand
and I lamppost high in relation tried
avoid hang snatch on coat tails ride the floor
out the automatic door to taxis
but brian shook my hand on sunday
bus stop morning fizzing with e-mails
in my purple skirt in my new jacket
in my lip gloss head under my black coat
brian exclamation marl among perms
bus is late bus is late tabloid headlines
in his head when's the next one when's the next one
I told him again checking timetables
standing pointing my visual full stop
top brian's next question his eyes rehearse
conversations his lips twitching stealing
small glances at me my name is brian
what is your name leave me alone I said
in my head friendless me unhappy me
natalie my name is brian pretty
name bus is late my head was in the bath
at 3.30 missing this bus again missing
the train I began to walk brian follows
people don't often talk back to me brain
except to say terrible words happen
terrible world at the moment headlines
buses never show up friends all married
I never found the right women well that
traffic light ain't changing now train will leave
without you what's your name my name's brian
now I'm rich so you don't have to worry
I'd like to meet you for a chat I'll buy
you a cup of tea and a scone I said
yes do you know where tesco is I said
yes I didn't want brian's directions
he's shaking my hand and not letting go
clammy hand hot hand and peeling plaster
I'll try goodbye I hid in the toilet
washing my hands and in my cubicle
I walked fast to the end of the platform
me finding a seat with out a window
listening to headphones gramophones
in my head me university high
and full of career trying to keep warm
'Demophilia Part Two'
bath water is warming I was so cold
gobbing stale spit down the sink toothpaste lips
pint of diet coke in a stolen beer glass
asprined water caffeine breakfast kettle
grumpy hair computer headache tissue
spit my glasses living on chatroom friends
talking in soundbytes I am funeral
sorry you dead school friend in the photo
newspaper cuttings our news lowered flags
the first of the final generation
plastic tomato ketchup stained tea-towel
you made me cry mind stifled with textbooks
walking fast in time to a headphone beat
walls hanging by bricks in my hood in my
head and coat for safety dressed in black
living on chewing gum I'm birthed in blood
that's not all love magazine photofluff
in my head rucksack full of traintickets
I tore up all the photographs of me
many of my faces in the egg box
in the bin this morning the curtains closed
I emptied the cashpoint machine I took
a train to the town where the rail track ends