Randall Nevermade was born during a rain storm in Calcutta, India, 27 years ago. He wrote his first poem when he was eight. It was about clouds. This is his first work of fiction, entitled 'I like Clouds'. He lives in Portland, Oregon.
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Jeanette McCartney once bought an umbrella from a man she thought resembled 'pope of surrealism' Andre Breton. It was raining, and she didn't have a jacket. She thanked him profusely as she handed over the money. The man she bought the umbrella from turned out to be the ex-President of Venezuela, who was grateful to unload that piece of shit umbrella. She is a filing clerk in Dublin, Ireland. She has contributed to the Anti-Gravity Review, the Thoughts of Leaving Times and the Watchtower.
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Martin Vaboom had never previously written a story. This annoyed him so much that he sat down and wrote one. The result annoyed him even more. He is a male nurse, and seeks a female nurse for correspondence about the beauty of nature. He lives and works in a cabin in the mountains, somewhere in Northern California.
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Conrad McKrustican was the young writer of the year 1989, and voted 'most likely to write a realist short story' by his Creative Writing class in Chico State. He lives with his wife and two children in Connecticut, and has published several short story collections about, mostly, struggles and reality, often involving taciturn men in lumberjack shirts, their wives, and drink-driving incidents. He is an alcoholic, but realises this offers him a useful perspective on everyday life. He is not an alcoholic. He acknowledges he may be an alcoholic. He is currently working through his problems.
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Linda FanDerMartin has been a working writer for the last twenty years. She has published a number of Romance novels, and also works as a travelling baseball equipment salesperson. She would like to interest you in this season's catcher's mitts.
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Ronald McDonald was named, by his parents, after the red-afro wearing fast food clown, and has stubbornly clung to the name, even when threatened with legal action by the McDonald's corporation. He writes stories about circus performers and works as a lawyer in Pensacola, Florida. None of his children is named the Hamburgler.
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Slanko O'Shea writes about the difficulties of adjusting to American life when you're constantly being knocked down by pickup trucks and having to claim for damages. A Starbucks somewhere in Washington State has a whole shelf devoted to his works. This is his first published poem.
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Michael Duffy met the writer Jeanette McCarthy once in a bar in Dublin, and really liked her, so would like to get in touch with her again. They talked about fiction and the spiralling rents in the city, and how what they'd really like to do would be to move to the country, but neither of them drive, so it would be quite difficult really. He felt they really connected.
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Randall Nevermade would like it made clear that he has never actually written a poem about clouds, not when he was 8, not when he was 28, although it is accurate to say that his first published story is about clouds and how much he likes them. He did write a poem when he was 8, but it was about the complexities of international relations in a nuclear age. It was an ambitious work of sublime complexity. After writing it, he felt he had to 'unlearn' the process, which he has spent the last 19 years doing. 'I like clouds' is the result of this process.
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Jeanette McCartney would like to point out that she is happily married, and, though she has occasional conversations with members of the opposite sex in bars, these conversations are friendly and, above all, platonic.
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Robert Fantomas has written a number of literary biographies, including books on Keats and Farfalle. He is currently working on a series of short pieces related to contemporary fiction. He is happily married to writer Jeanette McCartney.
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William R. Mandible knocked a guy down once in Florida. They swapped insurance details, but the guy he hit said his name was Ronald McDonald, so Mandible drove off, sure that the guy was a joker of some description.
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Carlos Andres Perez Rodriguez used to be the President of Venezuela. He is quite interested in surrealism, and once bought a suit and umbrella belonging to 'pope of surrealism' Andre Breton. He kept the suit, but can't remember what he did with the umbrella. This is his first published story.
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Karl Whitney was born in Dublin, Ireland. He writes frequently, but publishes rarely, and has contributed little to society, yet hopes to, one day. He has never met a South American president and doesn't own an umbrella.