Chapter 18
I have been reading more about philosophy. It seems that the more the days pass, the more I am able to understand. I can read the same thing seven times and learn something new each turn. My most recent epiphany has been about “love.” There have been many occasions where I thought I had understood what it truly meant and what it has to be. Upon reading further I discovered that one word is far too vague to describe such a immense feeling. You can say, “I love ice cream.” You can also say to your husband/wife, “I love you.” Does this mean you love ice cream equally as much as you love your significant other? It may be possible, but in most cases it is a flaw in our communication skills. In Greek, there are three words pertaining to love; Eros, Philia, and Agape. Each word deals with a different level of love.
Eros is the love of the body. It is the love of beauty. Eros is the root of the word erotic. Many find this to be the love of true beauty. This would deal with beauty as a thing, such as the entire world’s beauty. In a way, your love for someone’s beauty is because it reminds you of how beautiful the world can be. Eros is a conditional love. Once the beauty dies, the Eros dies as well. To me Eros is needed for true “love”, but more is needed as well.
Philia would have been used to describe a friend, family member, or acquaintance you are fond of. Philia is the love of a person’s company or antics. In example, Philia would describe the emotions you feel when you laugh so hard, you almost pee your pants because a person is so funny. It feels good inside. I believe Philia is a very necessary feeling to have when dealing with true “love”.
The final word dealing with “love” is Agape. Agape is considered to be a love for the soul of a person. Agape is used when referring to God’s love for men and womyn.
Agape is unconditional love, because it is love for the soul. Agape is the most complex version of love there is. This is the most important feeling to have when dealing with true “love”.
If you take all three and balance them out you will find that this may be true “love.” True “love” can be best described as a love for a person’s soul, mind, and body. Once the body becomes old and unattractive, one will still love the other’s mind and soul. True “love” is about enjoying the significant other’s company and wanting them to enjoy yours as well. True “love” is looking at that person and having their beauty remind you of how wonderful life is. Their beauty will remind you of how beautiful their mind is and how beautifully unique their soul is. True “love” is not just a physical attraction. It is a physical, mental, and psyche attraction.
I think the major flaw in our attempts in understanding love is that we try to translate emotions into words. I consider words to be the most primitive form of communication that we have. We only use words because we have not gained enough knowledge to be able to use our other abilities to communicate. I believe one should be able to convey their “love” to another person in complete silence. Silence is the key to all of our understanding. You will never truly understand something unless it has been communicated to you by silence. You may ask, “How do I communicate without words?” I believe at this point in our very small mentality, actions are the key to true communication.
“Actions speak louder than words” –whoever said that
Putting a hand on a sobbing friend’s shoulder will do things words cannot. They will be deaf to your words, for their sobbing is far too great. But in silent communication, a hand on their shoulder will say so much more than you could ever spit out in words. They will feel the warmth of your comfort and know that you would go out of your way, just to see them happy. They will realize that you may not always be friends, but at that very moment, they are all you are thinking about.
Holding a persons hand is a more convincing way to convey a message of loyalty. The words, “I’ll never leave you.” Will pour off of your tongue and disappear into the air. Your grasping of their hand can say so much more. What it really does, is that it leaves room for interpretation. While you are holding a significant other’s hand, many thoughts will be going through their mind, many of which may contain you. During that same experience of holding hands, the person may squeeze your hand. If this were to be communicated verbally, it would probably mean, “I am very happy right now, and I wish this would never end.”
Looking someone in the eye says so much. It shows respect, but it can also show affection. The other person knows that at the point when you are looking them in the eye, he/she is the object of your attention. Everything else in the world does not exist. The only thing you are focused on is that person. I myself need to improve on this. I realize that this is a very important form of communication. The only problem is that it makes me nervous. I don’t want to be the center of someone’s attention. I feel that if the focus on me only, they will realize all that I am not.
In fact, I need to improve on all of my forms of physical communication. It is not that I am unable to communicate this way. It is that I am afraid to. There are many things I do not do, in fear of being pushed away. I would rather not ask the question than have the possibility to hear the answer, “no.” I would rather not hug a person than have the possibility of having them push me away. This is how I feel. It is just a problem I have to work on. My good friend Captain gnome told me it is better to regret doing something, than to regret not doing something. Captain Gnome is so very smart.
In other events, I haven’t done any experiments on people lately. Do not worry. I have a few ideas in store. Some of them even have a point. So stay tuned.
Aristotle once said, "things that cause friendship are: doing kindnesses; doing them unasked; and not proclaiming the fact when they are done" (Rhetoric, II. 4, trans. Rhys Roberts).
How true is that? I am so glad a lot of people are smarter than me. Otherwise, I’d never learn anything. I wish I could be the kindest person ever. Unfortunately, I suck at life. So that will never happen.
On another note, I wish I had a top hat like the Madhatter. Then I would be cool. Then I could parade around saying, “Look at my wonderous hat.” I could put stuff in it, like socks or Jell-O. Then I could eat Jell-O as I showed off my amazing top hat. I think I would be a black top hat with a pink leopard print band wrapped around it. That would make me feel really special.
