Chapter 13
NotAnalAboutLife: austin
austinsanford: richie
NotAnalAboutLife: shoes
NotAnalAboutLife: how are you
austinsanford: good good
austinsanford: ju?
austinsanford: and your shoes
NotAnalAboutLife: fine
austinsanford: so how was your dad?
NotAnalAboutLife: im still at his home
austinsanford: ohh okay
austinsanford: hows it going?
NotAnalAboutLife: great and yourself
austinsanford: im not as cool as you i guess
NotAnalAboutLife: whyy is this
austinsanford: because i dont wear the pants around here
NotAnalAboutLife: ohh, yeah i do
austinsanford: i brought him a pretzel
NotAnalAboutLife: i bet you didn't know i wore your pants in your house
austinsanford: i didnt
austinsanford: i thought they were painted on
NotAnalAboutLife: My pants?
austinsanford: yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: ahh ys the tight pants
austinsanford: they were tight
NotAnalAboutLife: and you liked it
austinsanford: i have tight red pants but they werent very clean
austinsanford: of course i did
austinsanford: did
NotAnalAboutLife: red
NotAnalAboutLife: excellent
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: like serious red too
austinsanford: when i get back ill wear them for everybody to see
NotAnalAboutLife: all of my tight pants are brown
austinsanford: they are like knock off dickies
NotAnalAboutLife: i guess its to hide poop smears
NotAnalAboutLife: really?
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: from a thrift store
austinsanford: 2 dollars
austinsanford: woot woot
NotAnalAboutLife: i have green knock of dickies from the thrift store
austinsanford: i was so excited i danced
austinsanford: knock offs are better than the real thing
NotAnalAboutLife: and they have a cool buton in the front
austinsanford: nice
austinsanford: i want a belt with a bell on it
austinsanford: that way i could ask people to ring it
NotAnalAboutLife: hmmm
NotAnalAboutLife: if you ever go sking put your lift ticket on your fly zipper
austinsanford: or maybe a pair of roller skates from the 80s
austinsanford: why?
NotAnalAboutLife: then they have to look at your crotch
NotAnalAboutLife: and you can say, hey be professional
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: they deserve it too
austinsanford: for not being professional
austinsanford: i dont ski though
austinsanford: i mean i dont ski well
NotAnalAboutLife: nor i
austinsanford: itd be cool to go dressed as an elf and knock people over
austinsanford: thats all i can think of though
NotAnalAboutLife: i dressed like spiderman
austinsanford: to go skiing
NotAnalAboutLife: i had to bput those hand warmers in my crotch
NotAnalAboutLife: yes
austinsanford: werent you cold?
NotAnalAboutLife: yes
austinsanford: nice
austinsanford: we should all be forced to be cold
NotAnalAboutLife: i fell iin the halfpipe and the spandex on my anus froze
austinsanford: ughh
NotAnalAboutLife: we got it on video
austinsanford: i dont wanna think about it
austinsanford: that just sounds uncouth
NotAnalAboutLife: the fall, not the frozen anus
austinsanford: ohh okay
austinsanford: the anus thing just doesnt sound cool
austinsanford: where did you get a spiderman costume?
NotAnalAboutLife: party fair
NotAnalAboutLife: the child size was 20 dollars and the adult size was 4o
austinsanford: nice
austinsanford: uggh thats to much
austinsanford: i think id like to die smiling
NotAnalAboutLife: so i got the child size
austinsanford: thatd be cool
NotAnalAboutLife: it would be cooler if you died wearing a spiderman costume
austinsanford: then people unvailed me and found out that i was really spider man
austinsanford: that would screw over my secret identity though
NotAnalAboutLife: hmm
austinsanford: and then who would be spider man?
NotAnalAboutLife: his illegitimate son
austinsanford: right
austinsanford: but i need to have one
austinsanford: lets go to vegas
NotAnalAboutLife: who inherited his sp[ider powers but only some
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: he couldnt climb as good and stuff
NotAnalAboutLife: like the power to lay eggs
austinsanford: thats a cool power
austinsanford: you could make an army in a couple of days
NotAnalAboutLife: and he has eight arms and legs
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah and he would have spider minions
austinsanford: then you could take over the world because in real life there are no brave people
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: people will do anyhing to avoid a fight
austinsanford: and they will run over weaker people to get out of danger
austinsanford: did you see the airline safety cards in fight club?
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
austinsanford: the guy pushing the kid away to get air
austinsanford: that would be funny
NotAnalAboutLife: that was the first time i saw that movie
NotAnalAboutLife: it was excellent
austinsanford: damn right
austinsanford: im surprised considering you live near lauren
NotAnalAboutLife: chuck paluknik is amazing
austinsanford: have you read any of his other books
austinsanford: they are all great
NotAnalAboutLife: i spelled his name wrong
NotAnalAboutLife: i read lullaby
austinsanford: palahniuk
austinsanford: that one was good
NotAnalAboutLife: then i stopped reading
NotAnalAboutLife: because i read it in two days
austinsanford: nice
NotAnalAboutLife: then i got sick of words
austinsanford: words can be irratating
NotAnalAboutLife: did you read choke
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: ive read all of them
NotAnalAboutLife: it sounded interesting
austinsanford: it was
austinsanford: pretty graphic though
austinsanford: they all are
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah, there is a prevailing theme though
austinsanford: always
austinsanford: he never gives you a story without a hidden metaphor
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: or like seven intertwined
austinsanford: haha yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: like lullaby had a lot
austinsanford: and the twists he does at some of the end of them are sick
NotAnalAboutLife: how many books does he have
austinsanford: 5
austinsanford: fiction
austinsanford: i dont know how many non-fiction
austinsanford: richie whats your favorite color?
NotAnalAboutLife: green and then pink
austinsanford: good good
NotAnalAboutLife: yours?
austinsanford: green
austinsanford: green gets me off
NotAnalAboutLife: the color of champions
austinsanford: why? who knows
NotAnalAboutLife: not the dark green though right?
austinsanford: umm no not really
NotAnalAboutLife: like real green or lime
austinsanford: i like grass green
austinsanford: but light grass green
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: i know of what you speak
austinsanford: dark green is sort of depressing
NotAnalAboutLife: it reminds me of sick poop
austinsanford: ohh okay
austinsanford: it makes me think of dead people
because thats the color decomposin corpses get
NotAnalAboutLife: true
NotAnalAboutLife: speaking of rotting corpses
austinsanford: haha
NotAnalAboutLife: have you seen my short story page
austinsanford: yeah i have
austinsanford: i havent looked recently
NotAnalAboutLife: equipped with wax rotting skull
austinsanford: whats the adress again
NotAnalAboutLife: www.richieb.cjb.net
NotAnalAboutLife: read the banana story if you may
austinsanford: which one is that
NotAnalAboutLife: the last one on the list
austinsanford: k
austinsanford: that was really ackward
austinsanford: but good
austinsanford: i laughed
austinsanford: why is the banana named jon?
NotAnalAboutLife: why is he not
NotAnalAboutLife: it shows that bananas have feelings too
austinsanford: you are right
NotAnalAboutLife: the story of seven steps to sucess is probably my favorite but its long and weird in the fact that i thought of it
austinsanford: i wish there was a way not to eat anything
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
austinsanford: then we would be cool
austinsanford: well i mean there is a way to not eat anything
NotAnalAboutLife: we could be plants and make our own food
austinsanford: that would be good
austinsanford: all we would need was the sun
austinsanford: but we would still kill things for no reason
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
NotAnalAboutLife: like war
austinsanford: i meant animals but yeah war too
austinsanford: everybody needs to do some fight club shit and just kidnap the guy and threaten to cut his balls off
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah
austinsanford: if its a woman than we should like threaten her uterus or something
NotAnalAboutLife: or even worse, we'll take away her tampons when shes having a heavy period and only give her white pants to wear
NotAnalAboutLife: we'll see how cooperative she becomes then
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: dude you are anti-abortion right?
NotAnalAboutLife: indeed, saving the fetus
NotAnalAboutLife: and yourself?
austinsanford: well do you think its right for a kid to have a horrible life and end up contributing to crime rather than just not be born
austinsanford: im not sure how i stand on it
NotAnalAboutLife: surely if you are vegitarian you must be pro-life
NotAnalAboutLife: yeah, i mean you don't know he is going to be bad, at least give him the chance
austinsanford: you are right
NotAnalAboutLife: we all are sinners who is to point the finger and say shame shame
austinsanford: but what if this kid has such a messed up life because of his mom
NotAnalAboutLife: he raped a guy i lied to my grandma
NotAnalAboutLife: adoption
austinsanford: good point
NotAnalAboutLife: we are not to choose
NotAnalAboutLife: if you don't believe in god, then let karma take its toll
austinsanford: well im not into religion but i dont think we should be the ones to choose
austinsanford: karma gets you later on dude
NotAnalAboutLife: ahh it is all around
NotAnalAboutLife: you've never heard of karma debt
austinsanford: but karma also says what happens is gonna happen and there is no way around it
austinsanford: its like fate
austinsanford: i just dont think the government should have a say in something like this
austinsanford: and i dont think killing more people gets your point across
NotAnalAboutLife: nor do i, because to hem its about economics
NotAnalAboutLife: no war is necessary
austinsanford: its just like gay marriages, the government shouldnt be allowed control over that
austinsanford: it makes no sense
NotAnalAboutLife: if we are smart enough to make nuclear weapons surely, we can use our great minds for diplomacy
austinsanford: of course
NotAnalAboutLife: a monkey can press a button that says lauch missle, ya know
austinsanford: but we want to be a feared nation not one that is liked by everybody
austinsanford: yeah
austinsanford: because with fear we get more of what we want which is stupid
NotAnalAboutLife: every president wants to go to war in hope that they will be remembered
austinsanford: yeah i bet that is a big part of it too
austinsanford: i can remember every president who did something wrong
NotAnalAboutLife: look at me im george bush i defeated afgahnistan and iraq
austinsanford: but i dont remember those who didnt go to war or something like that
NotAnalAboutLife: richard nixons name contianed the letters to spell criminal
NotAnalAboutLife: bill clinton was the second president to be able to do that
austinsanford: really
NotAnalAboutLife: yep
austinsanford: with their middle names to right?>
NotAnalAboutLife: richard millhouse nixon
