Life as i know it...
My life changes so often that i can't really know it. Its like one second a certain person is saying one thing to me, and then a week later, they say something completely different. It hurts me, and that person knows this, but they still can't make up their mind. I can handle it better now though. I don't just sit and cry and feel sorry for myself. I know now that, that won't get me anywhere. Its definitely not going to help me in any way shape or form. I think i'm dealing with everything better now, which is really good for my stress level, which used to go through the roof. Thank god for MTV. I love MTV. Cribs, newlyweds, the osbournes, all that stuff. I love music in general, so its all good.

God...
I don't want to offend anyone, but i don't believe in god. I don't believe that something can have that much power over what goes on, on earth. We are supposed to have control over our lives and take responsibility for our mistakes, but how can we if we are supposedly being controlled by some higher power? I can't help but feel like that means we're just puppets on a stage, following directions, with absolutely no control.

I don't believe that something that is supposed to be all good and pure and amazing would create a world where people kill eachother. A world where you can be so sad that a bottle of sleeping pills is your last resort. A world where you can step outside and maybe never come home. It sounds like god and satan are a little closer than worshippers will have us believe. Or maybe they don't exist at all, and people are just sick and twisted.

I'm not looking forward to the day i die. I have no idea what will happen. If god does exist, that will definitely be interesting. I'm scared that after death, the only thing is oblivion. Why do we live for only 80 years when the world is supposed to go on forever? I almost wish i believed in a god, because i would have somewhere to go after i die. I wouldn't feel so scared.

I don't want to meet the god who made this world.

Ernest Hemingway once said, "This world is a lovely place and worth fighting for." I believe the second part.

Childhood memories....
Am I the only one who wants to be five again??? It was so much easier then. You woke up in the morning, and your mom picked out your clothes, cooked your breakfast and drove you to school. Then you played with toys, listened to stories and napped until she came and picked you up again. Then you would go home and play with your barbies, or G.I. Joes or whatever, and played with your friends. Then you went to bed at like seven o'clock.

You didn't have to worry about boyfriends and girlfriends, the possibility of your mom offering you drugs (true story), and juggling school, work, over demanding parents, friends with emotional problems the size of the grand canyon (i'm one of them), and the endless parade of people who think its fun to mess with your head. No wonder so many people in this country are institutionalized.

I find myself laying awake at night trying to figure out how I'm going to make it through the next day without ripping every single hair out of my head.

Now I ask you...why can't I be five again?

The Story of Jenn2....continued.....
Okay, seriously now. I was born in Alberta, Canada, and I still live in Alberta, Canada. Honestly, how much more do you need to know? Don't be nosy....

The Story of Jenn2.....
Jenn2 was born in a little town just north of Crazyville. There she was whacked over the head with the shalailee sticks of the resident leprachauns. Some say thats why she is so crazy now, others say its the events that came after this that caused that..... I guess you can decide for yourself.