FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine - International Standard Serial Number ISSN 1449-7425 Issue 55 Vol 6 # 1 January 2005 FreEzine is a free email magazine/newsletter containing articles of interest from a Christian perspective and is published no less than monthly. FreEzine is NOT Spam and is only sent to people who request it. If you ever want to stop (or start) receiving FreEzine you'll find instructions at the end of this newsletter. FreEzine is also available in Spanish - La Revista libre de Ezine, French - La Revue de Ezine libre, German - FreiEzine Zeitschrift, Italian - La Rivista di Ezine libera, and Portuguese - Revista livre de Ezine. A special "hello" to all of our new subscribers. We welcome and appreciate feedback on how we can improve this e-zine for you. IF YOU FIND THIS NEWSLETTER USEFUL... ... PLEASE FORWARD IT TO FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES! IN THIS ISSUE: Editorial: Only Two Things to Worry About Prayer Thought: Lord, Make Me an Instrument of Thy Peace From My Case Files: Best Man Troubles Letters to the Editor: Daffy-nitions: The Difference Between a Taxidermist and a Tax Collector What's On? Seminars & Workshops Repeatable Quotable: Immortality Article: Take the Gospel to the World through Your Marriage Natural Remedies: Fatigue Havagiggle: 'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas Split Second Wisdom: The Second Day of a Diet The Extensive Exposition: Christian Apologetics The Funny Bone: Eaten Out of House and Home Sermon Snippet: The Meaning of Life Theologically Speaking: My Old Watch Freebies: Free 2005 Calendar Freebies: Free Christmas Piano Music Multimedia CD Take a Hint: Cleaning off Ballpoint Pen Marks Cooks Corner: Vegetarian Sun Burgers Watch This Space Subscription & Other Information And in Closing: I Love Your Freckles FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine -FreEzine Editorial: Only Two Things to Worry About There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or not. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you don't, you won't be alive to worry. --Editor's archives Prayer Thought: Lord, Make Me an Instrument of Thy Peace Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen. --Attributed to St. Francis of Assisi From My Case Files: Best Man Troubles After three decades of counselling, your editor (a retired sociologist) sometimes ponders some of the things which have come up in counselling that, in retrospect, contain an element of humour. This section will be included from time to time to share some of these snippets. Names have been changed to protect privacy. Egbert lamented that Maggie just didn't seem to appreciate him, in fact she candedly admitted that she had eyes for the best man at their wedding. They had only been married a short time before he came to see me, lamenting "The trouble with having a best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove that he is not the best for her. When I challenged my best man on this, he said that the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you have to go out of your way to prove you are the best." Letters to the Editor Cantos de poetry, Catchwords, Changes, Clamourings, Clichés, Commendations, Comments, Commercials, Complaints, Compliments, Congratulates, Credits, Cries, Criticisms, Critiques? We'll Take All! Daffy-nitions: Taxidermist or Tax collector What is the difference between a Taxidermist and a Tax collector? The Taxidermist only takes your skin. -- Mark Twain What's On? Seminars & Workshops: For information on free lifestyle seminars, see . Information on the 2005 GNU Seminars is available from . Also a number of free lectures are advertised on . (P.S. Carolyn of Good News Unlimited has advised that they have some new books in stock: 'The End of Terrorism' (1ET0001) by Des Ford $24.95; 'Which Jesus' (1WJ0001) by Tony Campolo $9.95; 'The Cross of Christ' (1TTC001) by John Stott $14.95; 'Body, Soul & Spirit' (1BS0001) by Pr Ritchie Way $10.00; 'Will Christians go to Heaven when Jesus returns? (1WCG001) by Pr Ritchie Way $7.95; and 'In the steps of our Lord' (1IT0001) by F F Bruce $13.95 (Prices do not include postage - see for details. Repeatable Quotable: Immortality I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. -- Woody Allen Article: Take the Gospel to the World through Your Marriage Our culture's emphasis on individualism and consumerism isn't friendly to marriage. In fact, with many people choosing to live together outside marriage and divorce running rampant, people in true Christian marriages can feel like resident aliens in a broken world. But if you and your spouse decide to live out God's original purpose for marriage, you'll not only offer the world a radical alternative, you'll help transform the world as God's power flows through your marriage. Your relationship with each other will become an evangelistic mission, giving everyone you meet a glimpse of the living God. Here's how you can take the gospel to the world through your marriage: >> Strive to understand our culture's case against marriage. Know the reasons why so many people are hostile toward marriage in our society. Keep in mind that they seek personal happiness and autonomy above what God wants and what's good for the community. Understand that they are reluctant to commit to marriage because they don't want to risk pain and are afraid that marriage will restrict their lifestyle. Realise that once you understand the culture's case against marriage, you can more effectively refute it through your own marriage. >> Look to the Bible - not the culture - to guide you in what it means to be masculine and feminine. Realise that men and women are designed to complement each other and move each other toward fullness in Christ. Understand that God has called men and women to merge their lives in marriage to fulfil a shared calling. Rather than engaging in separate lives that meet only in certain ways, God intends for couples to share every part of their lives with each other. Know that, as people made in God's image, husbands and wives are meant to help each other grow closer to God through their relationship with each other. >> Shift your focus from your own goals to God's goals. Know that God has a much greater purpose for marriage than simply personal happiness on Earth. Instead, God wants to use marriage to transform husbands and wives into people who will faithfully bear His image on Earth and develop values that will count for eternity. Realise that, when couples give up the quest for personal fulfilment and take the risks necessary to follow God in their marriages, they often find joy as a result. >> Don't isolate yourself. Realise that Jesus did not have the obsession our culture currently does on the small, isolated nuclear family. Don't think of marriage as a couple's club, withdrawing from other people. Instead, realise that you and your spouse are a vital part of a greater family - the body of Christ - and that your marriage should enrich that family. >> Teach by example. Rather than just lecturing others on morality or simply trying to legislate it, make a genuinely positive impact on the culture by showing how you are obeying God in your own life. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you stay married and build a healthy marriage that shows the world the power of God's love. Don't just talk about God to others; let them see Him at work as your marriage speaks for itself. >> Live an "Already-But-Not-Yet" life. Let your marriage reflect the reality that you and your spouse share in Christ's resurrection power even though you still live in a fallen world. Embody the gospel by showing how you and your spouse are in the process of helping one another grow into the people God wants you to become. Show a watching world what it looks like to remain faithful to your marriage vows despite difficult circumstances. Let people see how you and your spouse forgive each other, relying on God's power to begin anew. Be kind to each other. Serve each other cheerfully whenever you have an opportunity, trusting God's promise that those who lose their lives for His sake will find them. >> Work together, not separately. Don't follow the world's default plan of husbands and wives living in separate spheres. Instead, share your responsibilities, with both of you helping to provide for the family and nurture any children God gives you. Contribute equally and hold each other accountable. >> Be open and honest with others. Don't try to hide your marital challenges from other people or pretend like your marriage is perfect. Understand that every marriage has its share of difficulties, and the only way you can influence others for good is by admitting that your marriage has flaws and showing how God is using your challenges to help you and your spouse grow. --Adapted by Whitney Hopler ( Natural Remedies: Exploring some of nature's hygiene helpers and ways to fix basic ills, chills, aches and pains. Common sense is paramount - some of these hints are health related, and if you have a medical condition such high blood pressure, are taking prescription medication or are in any way unsure whether you should follow the self-help suggestion/s provided, consult a doctor or natural therapist. This month: Fatigue Blend 10 drops of marjoram, 15 drops of may chang (Litsea cubeba) and five drops of peppermint oil with 30ml of a base oil, such as almond. Put a few drops on a tissue and inhale to pep you up. Try taking Siberian ginseng - this herb helps the body adapt more easily to both physical and emotional stress. -- Pamela Allardice, Natural therapist Havagiggle: 'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas 'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, While upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, Went into the kitchen and started to clean. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror. The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN." With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox. Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name: "Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!! To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall, Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!" He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk. He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load. Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer, "Enjoy what you got ... You'll be paying all year!" -- Adapted from Split Second Wisdom: The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason The Extensive Exposition. Each issue we will make available a longer article available by email free to those who request it. This is to keep the FreEzine a readable length yet make available more in-depth material for those who are interested. Articles provided under this section do not always reflect totally the beliefs of the editor. In some issues more than one article will be available under this section and articles will need to be asked for by name to save confusion. We have no separate mailing list for the automatic despatch of articles in The Extensive Exposition so a separate request will need to be made for each article. This month's article is the full text of Christian Apologetics; Evidences For A Logical And Rational Faith In Jesus Christ As The Son Of God. By Mark A. Copeland This is in PDF format, resourced from , and made available free by writing to the editor and asking for the article by name. (Please check the available space in your email box before requesting articles (68k req.) The Funny Bone: Eaten Out of House and Home After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home." Aside: Are you a writer, a poet or an illustrator? If you have something you have written or illustrated that you would like to consider having published, a free 60 page Style Guide is available online at , or from the Editor of this FreEzine. There is no charge for publishing and YOU receive payment on publication (see the free Style Guide for details). Publishing formats include Books, Pamphlets, Leaflets, Magazines & Ezines, Online video & audio, CD-ROM & floppy-disk electronic books & multimedia, Video & Audio tapes and Talking Books & audio CDs. Sermon Snippet: The Meaning of Life is but One's Perspective! A boat docked in a tiny Greek village. An American tourist complimented the Greek fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Greek. "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American. The Greek explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, dance a little, play the bouzouki, and sing a few songs. I have a full life." The American interrupted, "I have a MBA from Harvard and I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Athens, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise." "How long would that take?" asked the Greek. "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American. "And after that?" "Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really? And after that?" "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your grandchildren, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife, and spend your evenings singing, dancing and playing the bouzouki with your friends". -- Ken Aitken Aside: Things To Ponder If you cry under water can you see the tears? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing (for eternity) the clothes you were buried in? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say that they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. -- Editor's Archives Theologically Speaking: My Old Watch I have had the same watch now for twenty-four years. It was a gift from an uncle that I got when I was just fourteen. It was one of the first digital watches ever made and it weighs about two pounds. I have gone through about five watchbands with it so far. Some of the numbers on the display are getting hard to read as well. Still, I keep buying new batteries for it and refuse to get a new one as long as this one works. My wrist feels strange without its familiar weight on it and my heart still feels a touch of warmth from my late uncle's love when I look at it. A part of me too is reassured when I look down at this old timepiece still working away after all these years. It gives me hope for myself in the years ahead of me. This body of mine just turned thirty-eight years old recently, which means that if I live an average life span on this world then half my life is already over. Since a large part of the first half of my life was spent figuring out what life is all about, this only leaves me the last half to really live my life the way it was meant to be lived: in choosing and sharing love, joy, and oneness with God. I take hope then in seeing my old watch still working away, after most watches are thrown away. It reminds me that I can keep working away too and bring a little Heaven to Earth, no matter how old I get. Whether you are a new clock, an old watch, or an ancient timepiece remember that you still have time to make a wonderful difference in this world. You still have time to warm some hearts with your love, touch some souls with your joy, and heal a few lives with your light. You still have the time to live like you were meant to, to love like you were born to, and to be one with God like you were designed to be. You still have the time to bring a little Heaven down to Earth and to ready your soul to fly from Earth back to Heaven. -- Joe Mazzella Freebies: 2005 calendar Normally using the "Reply To Sender" email option doesn't work with FreEzine as a commercial or other unrelated distributor occasionally sends out the magazine. However, for this issue, by using the "Reply To Sender" email option we will regard it as a request and will send you a free one-page 2005 calendar to print or give-away. Get in early for 2005! Reply to sender. Freebies: Christmas Piano Music Multimedia CD. This is a free CD (however you will need to pay postage). Use it as an audio CD and enjoy 13 carols from around the world. It is also MP3 compatible. And it can also be used in a computer to print the full sheet music scores (intermediate piano) for all 13 carols! Check out Please note: freebies are usually only available for the duration of the issue in which they are advertised. To make sure that the free offers remain available for a longer period of time, from January 1, 2005 freebies will be listed on . Then they can be accessed long after the issue date (while stocks last), Take a Hint: Cleaning off Ballpoint Pen Marks Wood or Painted surfaces - use distilled white vinegar. Dab it on with a clean rag, then blot off. repeat as often as needed until the marks come off. Wallpaper - dampen spot with water, then apply a very light coat of hair spray. Let it set a minute, then blot with a dry rag. Jesus Loves You Ministries Cooks Corner: Vegetarian Sun Burgers 2 1/2 cups cooked brown rice, 1 1/2 cups grated raw carrot (packed), 1/2 cup finely diced red bell pepper (or green), 1/2 rolled oats, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup boiling water, 1 small onion, chopped, 1/2 cup sunflower seeds, and 1/2 tsp. each, rubbed sage & celery salt. Place the first 5 items in a mixing bowl. Blend the water and the remaining ingredients, until creamy. Mix this creamy mixture with the other items in the bowl. Place by 1/3 cup measures on a cookie sheet. Press out into a burger shape with a fork. Bake at 400 degrees F. for about 40 minutes or until a little crispy around the edges. Good with lettuce or sprouts as an open-face sandwich. -- Katy Chamberlin (http://www.amazingdiet.org/) Watch This Space: Future issues will include other sections not listed here. Why not write to us suggesting what you would like to see included. Subscription Information: FreEzine is a free email magazine/newsletter, published by Lionel Hartley, PhD () no less than monthly and sent out ONLY to those who request it. As FreEzine only uses an opt-in email list, we never buy or otherwise obtain email addresses. Although we encourage our readers to forward a copy of FreEzine to their friends and invite them to subscribe, we have a strictly No Spam Policy. 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And, in closing: I Love Your Freckles A grandmother and a little girl whose face was sprinkled with bright red freckles spent the day at the zoo. The children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a boy in the line cried. Embarrassed, the little girl dropped her head. Her grandmother knelt down next to her. "I love your freckles," she said. "Not me," the girl replied. "Well, when I was a little girl I always wanted freckles" she said, tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The girl looked up. "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little girl peered into the old woman's smiling face. "Wrinkles," she answered softly. -- Gracemail