Michele Leschi

 brown 'silky-stuff' pajama tops

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  for A. (for loving me...once upon a time) 

  I never wore brown, 
  preferring black, basic and complete... 
  beatnik dreams from a place before my 
  time. 

  blue, yes, compliments 
  resounding in memory, basic and bittersweet... 
  fat girl's hurt, salved with colored 
  praise. 

  green, for the eyes 
  I saw reflected in mirrors, basic and what? 
  fat girl's "best point", a smile for that 
  cliché. 

  white, not often, hah! 
  never got that far, just dreamed 
  someday 
  a dress...? 
  a hope 
  a connection. 

  and then, you and I found 
  that dancing, spinning light and...! 

  your eyes, those smiling, 
  quizzical brown, deep brown really 
  looking at me, 
  looking within me... 

  I looked into them so often 
  into you. sought our hope? 

  we... 
  you always 
  held me close 
  you... 
  wanted me?! 
  and... 

  i... 
  i wanted you 
  and a dream. 

  and we were like children, 
  needing 
  to explore 
  a chance 

  "Brown 'silky-stuff' pajamas" 
  I said, and how you laughed 
  at that and how your laugh 
  was so soft 

  why can't I hear it anymore? 

  I think 
  that laugh 
  perhaps, was more a smile 
  at times... 
  those times, 
  alone... playing at sex and 
  love and 
  learning what we could, 
  bodies holding on to seek... 

  do you remember? 

  all those moments, 
  yes... 
  and all 
  those tears ... later? 

  it's ...DAMN, it's Valentine's Day, why? 
  my stomach aches 
  and... 
  and, today, god...today, 
  you are the past... 
  a dream 
  a memory 
  of...love? 

 


I remember! 
that bond, that smile, that 
....time I wore brown. 

you wore the bottoms 
she, I... wore the top. 
I wore 
Your brown! 
...and loved it 

It was the best of us 
sharing those pajamas. 
It was the best of me... 
how I loved them 
as my own. 
How I Needed them... 
to prove You 
were my own. 

oh, they were so soft, 
like those eyes 
I would search 
when we held each other 
after sex 
and 
after soft laughter, skin 
and breath 
and our dewy bodies ... 
clinging 
again, all so soft... 



but, then, I spun away, alone... dancing 
into that spiral of darkness, blinded and cold and... 
and...? 



I never wore brown, preferring black, 
basic and complete. 


different dreams, a kind of lump 
in my throat, but I 
exhale. 
yes, 
for when.. 
when I wore brown, 
the green-eyed, fat girl's 
tears dissolved... 
into a mirrored 
ice-blue dress 
gown, 
yes... wedding. 

disguised as a 
young/old 
remembered 
ice-blue dream. 

sweet, sad , silly 
but still so real... 
hopes and 
a dream 
of soft-spun 
brown 
silk... 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2002 Michele Leschi

 About the author:
Michele Leschi studied acting and has a B.A. in Theatre Arts. Originally from Rhode Island, she now resides in Irvine, CA. A lover of the arts, some of her works may be seen in Stories.com.

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