Title Page
II. Dedication
III. ’’An Open Letter to Mama’’           About
IV. ’’Untitled 1’’           About
V. ‘’Elvis, Part II’’           About
VI. ‘’Untitled 2’’           About
VII. ’’Conversation with Myself’’           About
VIII. ‘’Unknown’’           About
IX. ‘’I don’t know why the caged bird sings’’           About
X. ’’Poem Six’’           About
XI. ’’Dead on your feet’’           About
XII. ’’Title Track’’           About
XIII. ’’A Love Story’’           About
XIV. ‘’The need to be me’’           About
XV. ’’Advertisement’’           About
XVI. ’’If Wisdom Rhymed’’           About
XVII. ’’When Finally Death Comes at Last’’           About
XVIII. ’’Ornamental’’           About
XIX. ’’Autobiography’’           About
XX. ’’History Teacher (What?)’’           About
XXI. ’’Unfinished Manifesto’’           About
XXII. ’’Normal’’           About
XXIII. ’’Jimmy V’’           About
XXIV. ’’he’’           About
XXV. Shy, Shy, Shy’’           About

About the Author
Contact the Author

’’An Open Letter to Mama’’

My innocence swept away
by an unending flood
I’m immersed in the mud
covered in the sludge of life
I’ve given up on any love

Someone once told me
to follow my heart
so don’t take it with you
to your darkened tomb

I was born of your womb
and cast in your mold
then I was left without a hand to hold

If what if’s and could’ve beens
would bring you back
I wouldn’t lkive in your shadow today
Let me take your place in the grave

How would things be?
--if you weren’t taken from us
Have I made you up in my mind?
Because no one will dismay me.
Even if I have, I don’t care--
it’s all I have, and what I rely on.

I’ll tell the world one day
what it lost
and what it cost them, me.

Maybe I don’t speak of you often enough
and maybe I’m bitter a little too much
and maybe you’ve frowned at some things
and maybe I’ve made you proud

I wonders sometimes if you thought I would forget
or it you thought I would hold it against you
but I won’t and I can’t

I miss you everyday
but no matter how great my pain
I know your’s was more
when death beckoned at our door.

’’Untitled 1’’

A piece of pie
Made from self pity and doubt

Blah is the sound of my life
hitting the ground

But if no one is around
DO I make a sound?

I became a statistic
A number
in the monotony of your day

You won’t remember my face
Much less my soul
But I look at you like I know you

I’m the one in the corner
shrinking back from
my contradictory world

’’Elvis, Part II’’

Biased people
Biased books
All the big ones are the crooks
They embrace
unknown dreams
crush them like
grass beneath their feet
Weeds push through
cracked pavement
Mama’s back ain’t broken
Just her heart

Baby boy gone too quick
Replaced with a demoralized man
Saw the world
Missed the bus
Stolen hope replaced with doubt
Now the big ones rejoice
they profit from your mood
You’ve got your brain
but not your mind
Go forth and spawn
hatred for the outside
the time has passed

A sharp gun blast

Sit at home
Hum that tune
Warn the others
No one to hear

Mama sits and twiddles her thumbs
Baby boy gone too quick
Killed by success and politics
The big ones prosper
His story told
His life lived
the others get out
they find self
He lies alone
Mama cries for the last time

Baby boy has left this misery
The big ones destroyed
buried deep within his heart
Sugar coated obituary
No talk of pain
No space for despair

‘’Great man passed
Came from nothing
died too young
Husband of none
Survived by mother,
Loved by al’’

But not himself
Mama can go on now
Son no longer here
Spirit floats above
Peacefl as a dove

’’No one knew his hurt
He was so misunderstood
I know he’ll be written
about in Books
I hope they get it straight
Sacrifice soul for Success
Is not the way
don’t let his death
be in vain’’

Biased people
Biased books
No one learns
from his mistakes
New ones to take his place
Mama prays everyday
Let them get out and find their way
before it is too late

Baby boys gone too quick
Mama sits home heartsick
She knows their pain
but has to go
see her Boy
happy up There
joining him in eternal joy
Her chair sits empty
No more tears
Maybe no one will take her place
Unless the big ones have their way

’’Untitled 2’’

Paint me a picture of perfection
An anomaly of canvas
A diagram to describe myself
unblemished, un-pure

Cut and dissected
No that’s my liver
not my heart
Hair in my nose
And up my eyes
Blackened adonis
Or is it reddened, greenened

Or should I be on TV
to make up words

Dirty heart, gutter mind
Not classy enough for you

Excuse me, that’s just the
remnants of my life
Don’t let my corpse
hamper you on your drive
to the top

’’Conversation with Myself’’

The last words on your lips I never heard
I’m sure they were ones of love
or loss
deprived
because the final cost
was your young life
and my altered one
sell my soul
to speak to you
one more time
live on the streets
and die in despair
for one more hour
where we sit silent
and I memorize
your face
to get me through
70 years of pain
now just my inspiration
hoping one day to
make you proud
I’ll never have the satisfication
of a gratifying hug
so I’ll work my fingers to nubs
and maybe
I can find answers
because I need someone
to tell me
it’s ok
to be confused, isolated
from your dreams
it’s ok to dream in tongues
as long as I dream
am I a kindred spirit
or still a lost child
searching for that elusive hand to hold
someone to say
it was a bad dream
but it wasn’t
and it isn’t
I’ve had a dozen revelations
but no resolve
just a sapping drive
to succeed without direction
some would say
I let you hold me back
but they don’t know
what it’s like
to be 6
and 25
at the same time
I can never explain
to anyone what it’s like
to look in the mirror
and see an old soul
at 17
and wonder if the
light at the end
of my journey
is permantently dimmed
leading me to stumble
over mere pebbles
and slight cracks
in my path
when I make it to the end
will this Hell become
Heaven
or will I discover
the bliss I’ve
awaited isn’t worth
all this
and I’d rather burn now
instead of being so lost
but all of that is
because of me
I was destroyed
by you
but now I’ll use you
to find myself again
and rebuild
stone by stone
until I’m an unpenetrable wall
who can survive without you
but treasures you in the
recesses of my mind

’’Unknown’’

Your silence is deafening
I cry tears for your grief
opaque though they may be
You speak in tongues
or so it seems to me
for my language is different from yours
You walk alone
separated from others
and those you love
You are foreign to some
an acquaintance to few
and a brother to others
You are an outsider
someone different from the rest
yet you are like many others in this country
Oppressed

’’I don’t know why the caged bird sings’’

I don’t know why the caged bird sings

A litany of frustrations
is my song

I’m caged by others
who refuse to see the real me
only seeing a bird

I’m caged by myself
unable to let others know me

My wings were broken long ago
so now I sit here caged

chirping docilely

trying to hard
not trying hard enough

the bars have become my salvation
and my damnation

Will anyone ever wonder why I sing?
Will anyone care?

or is it up to me
to find freedom

My wings may be of no use
but doesn’t my soul still exist

Is it strong enough
Or will I be shot down
By a hunter (the world)

Do I have no more value
Am I just a bird
just something to look at
and never understand

“Oh, how pretty!” the shallow say

I scream but it’s only
a muffled tweet
No one turns my way
“It’s just the bird in the cage” they say

I don’t know why the caged bird sings

For no longer am I caged

I have found acceptance of self

“The bird is dead.” the shallow say

And I sing a song of Triumph

’’Poem Six’’

Rain pouring down on the soul of another
dirt on the grave
No more days for your mother
If grief brought her back
She’d stand here today
you wish the pain would go away

Her life is gone
but her soul lives on
you will not have her forgotten
the struggles she faced
just to rise from the bed

Her sunbeam smile when
you peaked your head in

How can she be gone
How can she be cold
How can her light be squelched so early
and yours, too

You look back on those days
with a fondness you hate

Pinch you and you’ll wake up

Instead you’re here forgetting her face
wanting to know her spirit
searching for a grip on life
by using hers’

’’Dead on your feet’’

Dead on your feet
You came in last
Victory was yours
After all the tribulations
No medal for you
only a cheering crowd
The smile beams on your face
You know this was your race
Beat back the secrets
that made you run
Now you walk with your head held high
the limit for you is now the sky
For at the end
Triumph was your prize
over the demons that haunt
No adoring fans for you
No winner’s stand
the payoff was the mend
of broken dreams
and a life’s lesson learned
without the screams that pierce the heart
without the anguish of knowing
those left behind
now freedom is truly yours
could a race do all this
could it all be true
Liberty translated into shoes and a track
it’s all over now
No looking back
They are gone forever
but within your soul
demons erased
leaving room in your heart
for peace and for memories
of those torn apart
last in the line
first in your mind
Finally, at last
Victory is thine

’’Title Track’’

If I were a jigsaw puzzle
You would put me together
backwards and upside down
declaring yourself done
after a two second inspection
That must be all
there is to me
the exterior
Which you see
It would be too much
of an investment
to find any substance
because you’ve already assumed
If only you could turn a blind eye
to your peers
maybe a depth would show
instead of ignorance
you protect what you lack
just as I
except my shortcomings are different
easily overcome
to an uneducated eye
but if you wandered
the maze of my mind
An understanding
might dawn
And in the back of your brain
an Epiphany might lie
almost discovered
discretely buried
so that you don’t have to deal
with anything more than the
Surface

’’A Love Story’’

Touching your skin
Kissing your flesh
Feeling your warmth under my fingertips
Is it love that flows from your heart
or lust

I’ve identified my emotions
and they care me, trhill me

I see you face in my dreams
But not your essence
That’s what I miss the most

If you had to die
why couldn’t it be with my questions answered
or is that selfish

You were loved before you died
but was I
will I ever be
Now that you’ve left me

My heart blackens slowly
Realizing that I can no longer remember
your smell, touch, embrace
I’m without your smile
Your laugh

And it kills me slowly

Knowing I’ll never hear your voice again
and the love I thought it held

I found your picture the other day
I smiled, then threw it away

It will always be a struggle
but when you are palpable
I cannot breathe
cannot function

Thinking maybe it’s all a dream
A nightmare

But it’s not

I watched them lower you
to your final resting place
without me

But I will join you now
in everlasting peace

God cannot punish me
for this indiscretion

My punishment was being
without you

Now I’m committing the sin
to atone for it

The gun is cold
like death’s grip
but my blood is hot
and it will take me to
Eternity

’’The need to be me’’

The need to be me
break loose from these fetters
I am no longer clay
for them to mold how they want
It is my true self I am chasing
absolute determination to drag it down
to the plane of which I am on
In orer to better myself
Your feelings must be hurt
for this I am sorry
but your happiness doesn’t always come first
Some people aren’t the exact die-cut
of your perfected human Being
I am just me
the same person I’ve always been
it’s now that I’ve chosen
to stand be heard
I do not bend to all your wishes
like the rag-doll you want me to be
my well-being no longer comes second
maybe it’s sanity I’m after
for it I’ve never shown you me
How will I know when I’ve reached my goal
When I no longer feel broken
but when your spirit is torn
between accepting this me
or fighthing for the one you knew before
it’s for me to choose

’’Advertisement’’

No, I’m not having a bad day
I just lost myself in the pills
and forgot who I am

deluded with poisons
to cure ailments imagined
by society
‘’define me’’ I say

inhabited by regrets
wavering when faced with my conscience

Absolved of responsbility
by their degrees
and rationalizations

uncontrollable paranoia
aimed at the targets
who have deceived humanity
into a blind search
for an unreachable nirvana

a euphoria, available by prescription
prerequisistes include selling off
of any real feelings

emotional self-mutilation
is the byproduct of a troubled brain
slip into an easier consciousness
awash in a muted light
averting eyes from your insides

mental scabs bleed, too
soothe them with a purple thrill

’’If Wisdom Rhymed’’

There was a time
When I didn’t have a dime
Hope was not lost
Though it would cost
Not my sooul
but to reach my goal
I had to climb with all my might
and put up a strong fight
in order to find
some peace of mind
And to gain the glord
in the end I had to, lordy
me it’s been hard
kinda like a cheesy card
My life has been
full of sin
but through it all
I shall never fall
cause I know that I
have him on my side
to repent of things
so as not to cling
to my past lies
so that I might buy
Salvation in the end

’’When Finally Death Comes At Last’’

When finally death comes at last, too fast
A diseased person struggling for breath
Stuck forever between now and the past
The loss of this love aches like my own death

Torn apart inside by this final blow
No more loving words from within the heart
The pain seems to spread like a river’s flow
No more silly things like throwing sweettarts

Your light diminished just like your life
How can I continue without your smile
My soul being pierced with the sharpest knife
The empty space left in life to reconcile
Now love from you no longer will I gain
No matter how long I suffer in pain

’’Ornamental’’

In the manger lies the Christ-king
with star looking on so bright
hanging on a branch each year
reminding us of all that is right
Other ornaments holding memories
of past nights by the tree
Baby’s 1st Christmas was long ago
but there it still sites for everyone to see
We go to the trouble of lights
fussing and fighting over what goes where
and when the stockings are hung with care
and the tree illuminates the room
we look on the tree with delight
and see the Christ-king above
and know all things are right with His love

’’Autobiography’’

You write in metaphors
I don’t write similarly
I’m just a young hillbilly girl
Kregg is my middle name
Proud of her roots
Strong in her faith
Being herself day after day
Some have called me a poet
But that’s a title I don’t want
I need not edit my work
For then it’s not mine
It’s the critics
So if you don’t get it
I won’t elaborate
The meaning is for me
Not to teach you
Nine to Five is not my concept
If you force it, it will never work
It’s without emotion, without wisdom
without hope
Fluff is not in my lexicon
If you want happy
Find yourself a greeting card
I write what I know, what I feel
So I’m not looking for validation
Is it not elegant enough for you
Did I forget to elevate
to a level no one understands
Whoops! Better change that
before the world realizes
that not every thought is perfect
Not every problem is solved in a half hour
that the ones who set the standards
Don’t come close to reaching them
Is that what fulfills you
or is that what society told you to do
I know my thoughts are’t revelant
I’m not a millionaire
sometimes I forget to comb my hair
No need to listen to me
Cause I’m just an uneducated
hick from NC
Wait! Wait!
maybe there’s hope yet
that I’ll fit into your Social norms
that I’ll change what makes me happy
to please you
or maybe there’s Hope
that I’ll continue to stand up for
the beaten down (wo)men
who has forgotten their culture
forgotten their past
or just forgotten to be proud
Fame doesn’t call me
if it does
it’s probably calling me Misty
Correct me if I’m wrong
but shouldn’t they find me
instead of me hunting them down
I won’t be a stalker
But I’ll hide in the shadows
with my thesaurus
and my disjointed thoughts
waiting for the world to conform to me

’’History Teacher (What?)’’

What?
How dare you tell me what my fears are
That I’m as ignorant as you
I don’t bring myself to those lows
Not even in the dark recesses of my brain
You cannot put that noose around my neck
Hang yourself with hatred
But I refuse to be the nest in line
Why can’t I be offended--
I’ve been down
I’ve been the outcast
been laughed at for the color of my skin
I don’t have the right to judge
So who gave it to you
I fight for you
and you turn on me
and those like me
No matter really
Cause I’m keeping on
because no one will tell me
who I am
or what my place is
and one day you’ll realize
to Love God is to Love your Neighbor
He sees pigment-less world
It’s Satan with the color TV

’’Unfinished Manifesto’’

Here’s my public opinion
The world is covert
hiding it’s disfigurements

“Everyone hates us?”

Llook at the injustices
you commit daily

I am a Humanitarian
not an American first
even if it means
you consider me a Traitor
abusing my right to free speech
(I guess you missed that war)

Trust is placed in God
or other entities
but if we trust God
we must trust our fellow beings

He created us all
even the Perfect ones

Don’t assume my vote counts
when others cast their lot for someone else

I can’t back you if you kill
Does your Bible not include the passage
Just not lest ye be Judged--
or do you want the World sightless
The courts deliver no real justice
because she is blind folded
by politics

Her scales are tipped with green
which you pluck
to continue your smut
while the man
on your street
starves
Begging for your cavair scraps
but the dog had to eat
so forget your
brothers and sisters

’’Normal’’

Our goals are shattering:

‘’No! No! She must live up
to the world’s standards
not the ones she set for herself
Here’s your list of accomplishments
achieve them now before you die’’

‘’I know that’s how you did things
but you’re not me
unless I put on a dress
and wear the designer duds
then I can be a carbon copy
of everyone I hate
I’m not trying to be different
or difficult
or unique
I’m being the only person
I know how to be
the only person
I want to be
if I have to stand out
and be treated harshly
that’s your choice
My ideals will not
self-destruct in five seconds
under your judgmental eye
I looked deep within in myself
years ago
and found out
that I don’t need anyone to tell me
what I think
what I know’’

’’Jimmy V’’

When last your presence was felt
succumbing to the cruel hand you were dealt
my hopes diminishing with your life
Mourning seeming to contrast with your strife

Once as vibrant as a flower in bloom
Now wilted and faded from the evening frost
A friend, husband, father, hero, icon lost
The draining of soul the final cost

‘’Never give up’’ is the immortal chant
Giving hope to those who say ‘’I can’t’’
But gone you are now, no one to carry on
Leaving me to wonder where inspiration will come from

Like an angel sent from heaven
with the singular mission to lift spirits
Called back from your eternal life
God sees fit for others to take over your fight

I know that though gone, you are still with us in essence
A constant loop, running around
still searching for the elusive one to hug
body laying cold in the grave they dug

’’he’’

My wounds are healed
but my thoughts are deep
There’s something inside chasing me
that attacker knows my dreams, and memories
but he doesn’t want to take them from my soul
he wants to open my eyes to world around
to fill my tunnel with his light
to absolve my fears and make me whole
give me strength in the darkest days
take my burdens and laden himself
he will give me my grief so that I may be human
but he will take away my suffering before it drags me down
for he is to me all things,
God

’’Shy, Shy, Shy’’

Shy, Shy, Shy
could you stand up and take off your skin

Shy, Shy, Shy
why must you ask me to expose myself

Shy, Shy, Shy
try to get over the stares of your peers
the ego-piercing gazing of your tormentor

Shy, Shy, Shy
no one asks for it
the fear of exposure
the need to blend in with the background

Shy, Shy, Shy
why can’t you understand
instead of always picking
at the mental scabs
don’t you see them bleed

Shy, Shy, Shy until you’ve felt it you don’t know
the pain of being seen
and wondering if they truly understand
the real you

Shy, Shy, Shy
let me cover my eyes and hide
sit in my seat quiet
avoid confrontation with my demon

Shy, Shy, Shy
turn around and run
away from the tormentor’s call
share with the world

If you like to contact the author please e-mail me.