Sawn Song
Hey this is my last entry on here so I just wanted to say goodbye. See ya round, au revoir, have a nice life.

And not a day has passed that I'm regretting
Is it me or does school just completely suck? They love loading me down with homework, and I have two ISUs (Independent Study Units) due in like two weeks and I haven't started either one yet and I just got another one in Italian this week... AND my dad just ruined my favourite pair of jeans, I swear he should not be allowed to do laundry. So now I have to go out and buy ANOTHER pair and that's gonna cost like 50 or 60 bucks and I already need to buy two new cds (new Stills album out on the 23rd! and a new Buffy the Vampire soundtrack I just discovered). My life is a disaster, its in worse condition than my room and that's saying something. Anyways I have some poems I wrote up on Fictionpress.com. My pen name is Coffaholic but if it comes back as not finding anyone with that name do a title search for 'high heels' and you'll be able to find all the others through that one. That's all for now. Ciao!
- title lyrics: Ciagrette song- the All-American Rejects

Bring back the memories,
This one's giving up on you.
I don?t miss giving up on you,
And there's no more time.
Forgive me one more time.

?Cause I don't want you
Away.
Just bury me I am
Away
Whispered warning
Away
Just bury me I am
Away

And not a day has passed,
That I?m regretting.
The window?s closed,
And she's not letting me in.

One place, one place slipped away and
Missed call, missed calls
I can't stay too late
She?s gone
I will miss her voice, her eyes,
and love's first kiss.

I can't remind you all the time
Bring it back, bring it back
To where we were before
I can't remind you all the time
No, no
Bring it back, bring it back

One place, one place slipped away
Missed call, missed calls
I can't stay too late
She?s gone
I will miss her voice, her eyes,
and love's first kiss.

The day is gone
The sky is blue
I know you're all alone
And the sky is blue
Come back to me
The sky is blue
The sky is blue

Untitled
- Good old Sunday.
- Going to the movies later. Seeing house of rock.
- Went shopping yesterday. Bought the Forgotten Rebels, Distillers and Less That Jake cd. All incredibly good.
- Have homeowrk due tomorrow that I don't think I'm going to do but what ever.
- Got my Linkin Park cd back.
That's all for now. Ciao.

It been a bad day, another bad day and all I want to do is look at you and know I'm okay.
OMG my life sucks. One of my best friends is leaving my school because she now lives in Scarborough and she didn't bother to tell me until yesterday when I already knew because I asked one of her close friends if he knew what was going on and so he told me. I mean this is one of those things that you tell someone. You don't just show up at school and be all 'Oh yeah by the way I'm not coming back Monday or ever have a nice life.' I mean you should have some decency. Yesterday when I found out the first thought going through my head was 'She still has my Linkin Park cd.' Is that wrong? I hope not.
- Ha no school tomorrow. Gonna go feed the homeless in downtown Toronto. Finally going to a Catholic high school is starting to pay off.
- title lyrics: Bad Day- Something Corporate

It's been a bad day,
another bad day and all I want to do is look at you and know I'm okay.
From where I'm sitting these shoes ain't fitting and I'm walking backwards,
looking down, don't see the sky I see the ground.

Above
below you look and so you wonder,
where the time has gone of looking up, tomorrows on its way.
Above
below you look and so you say,
when I wake up in the morning is it 'gonna be another ugly day?

She sits in church its 2 pm and look whose back from work again.
I guess they thought your better off, without this life, without a job.
From where I'm sitting these shoes ain't fitting and I'm going nowhere,
killing time, just trying to feed my bleeding mind.

It's been a bad day,
another bad day and I cross my heart and hope to die
these dreams of yours are 'gonna fly.

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Oi. Hey people. Hope your all doing well. How am I doing? Hmmmm. I've said the word 'suck' so much that it has lost all meaning to me.Everything is falling apart. I'm not talk to my dad. I'm not talking to my friend because sshe won't stop skipping school. My coffee maker broke and I refuse to drip the crap they call coffee at school. I have sooo much homework, just spent about half my bank account and my computer deleted all my music. Anyone wanna trade lives? Please? Oh well, I'll find a way to get through all this, one thing at a time. I just have to keep telling myself that murder is a felony.
- title lyrics: Child Psychology- Black Box Recorder

stopped talking when I was six years old
I didn't want anything more to do with the outside world
I was happy being quiet
But, of course, they wouldn't leave me alone
My parents tried every trick in the book
From speech therapists to child psychologists
They even tried bribery
I could have anything
As long as I said it out loud

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Of course this episode didn't last forever
I'd made my point and it was time to move on
To peel away the next layer of deceit
And see what new surprises lay in store
My school report said I showed no interest
"A disruptive influence"
I felt sorry for them in a way
And when they finally expelled me
It didn't mean a thing

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

(At that time she stopped what she was doing, she stopped playing. She stared, she had the facial grimicing, and then the psychiatrist was saying, "Julie, Julie, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes? Can you stick out your tongue?" And all of a sudden, Julie struck out.)

The November day when I came home
The Christmas decorations were already up
Spray on snow, coloured flashing lights
And an artificial tree that played Silent Night
Over and over again
My parents welcomed me with loving arms
But within an hour were back at each others throats
Normal, happy childhood back on course
Batteries not included

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

So don't take anything for granted, sit outside in the rain.
I know I'm awful. I've been busy. It's true! Work is keeping me so busy and the homework, and I'm now writing on the school paper and my first article is due on Monday and I haven't started it yet. . . and the story that I'm writing is giving me major writer's block, so that leaves no time to do anything else, barely sleep! And tomorrow I have a funeral in the morning for my best firend's aunt and I 'm going because I knew her and her daughter goes to school with my brother. And then I have to work AND the I have to go to a baby shower. I mean how screwed up is that? And my web 'zine hasn't been updated and I said it would be done Monday and even then it was a week overdue. So you can't really hate me that much. I'll post the finished article for the paper on here when it's done. It's about the origin of skateboarding. I thought it was a cool topic.
- title lyrics: Never give up- New Found Glory

Living with me
I don't think it would be so bad
This is the first time this year
That I'm not going to make you mad
I'm tired of my conscious
Always telling me to stop slipping in
But I can't waste a second
On trains that will never begin

Everyone has a head upon their shoulders
We're losing our pride as we all get older
Everyone has to become their saviors
You might not get it right
Or you might realize that its too late

Don't back down
I'm over the past
Can't you see
Don't back down
I don't really care about before
Before you met me

Is it cool if I see you tonight
There's a thousand questions
I want to ask you
If you think that its alright

Everyone has a head upon their shoulders
We're losing our pride as we all get older
Everyone has to become their saviors
You might not get it right
Or you might realize that its too late

Don't back down
I'm over the past
Can't you see
Don't back down
I don't really care about before
Before you met me

So don't take anything for granted
Sit outside in the rain
An excuse you know I planned it
Every ending
Its all the same

don't back down
I'm over the past
can't you see
don't back down
I don't really care about before
before you met me

What I'd give for a normal Tuesday
- haven't updated in a while, you all must be heart broken
- now in the second week of school. Classes are okay. Took me a while to find my locker (still need to have the number written on my hand to remember which one it is)
- have had two things pointed out:
1) why are only the pop tabs used to make wheelchairs? Why not the rest of the can?
2) All the months that have and 'r' in them are bunched together while the ones that don't have an 'r' are all together.
- Bought the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club cd. Very cool. Everyone needs to buy it.
- Got new red Converse All-Star high tops. THE COOLEST pair of shoes ever!
- Now have chocolate covered coffee beans, which are the best things ever. I mean chocolate AND coffee- what more could you want?
- My birthday was good. Got lots of money which I will spend on cd's because I have over 30 I need to buy. Also need to buy some books (most about Buffy)
- Now have an addiction to NOFX, the Violent Femmes and Bif Naked. All incredibly good (at least in mym opinion).
- Am now writing for the school newspaper for two reasons:
1) have no extra-curriculars
2) like writing anyways
- You know it's sad when the highlight of your summer was going to summer school. *sighs* Oh well maybe next summer I'll go to NYC *grins* God I love that place.
- title lyrics: Tired Of It Anyway by Treble Charger

Waiting for a hundred different things
that i know you could never bring
thinking bout the thousand times a day
you treat me like a throwaway

every time it's a lost cause sunday
turns around there's an ok monday
every time your not around's like a holiday
i'm getting tired of it anyway

(Chorus)
Don't say it don't say it
cuz everything you ever say
is just another story
just save it and save it
just because u say the words
it doesn't mean your sorry

The moments never dull when i'm with you
but you never see the moment through
and all of this excitement wears me down
as much as all the runaround

What i'd give for a normal tuesday
already know what I'm in for wednesday
Every week your acts a little more passe
I'm getting tired of it anyway

(Chorus)

Everything you do
I can't trust it
everything you say
don't believe a word

Everything you do
I can't trust it
Everything you say
I don't believe a word

(Chorus)x2

Don't say it, don't say it
Just in case you change your story
Just save it and save it
Can't exchange your new found glory
Don't say it, Don't say it
Just because you say your sorry
Just save it, And save it
You can't change your story

Can't stop myself forom laughing no matter how sad these things can be
- Got the top row of braces on. They feel weird. . . very weird.
- My birthday tomorrow! Yay! Just one more year til I get my learner's permit. . . .
- Title lyrics: Sometimes Wanna Die by Joydrop

Don't worry bout one thing
Don't worry bout nothing
She said I'm not gonna let this one go
Nobody's on my side
Nobody seems to see
How much, how deep, how far these can be

My eyes are dry and, I
My eyes are dry and
I,I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I sometimes wanna die

And everywhere I go
And everyone I see
Somehow almost sets me free
And the space where we meet
Is different from the rest
And I just can't seem to forget that

My eyes are dry and
I, I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna

And you were at the start
And now you are at the end
And you left me with nothing to defend
I need the voice of a good friend

Can't stop myself forom laughing
No matter how sad these things can be
These things can be

My eyes are bright and
I, I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I still don't even know you
I, I sometimes wanna die (3x)
Yeah I sometimes wanna die
I, I sometimes wanna die (4x)
Yeah I sometimes wanna

Being grown up isn't half as a growing up. These are the best days of our lives
- haven't updated in a few days.Actually been fairly busy.
- went to the ortho on Thurs. and they put these spacers in so the braclets for the barces will fit. they SUCK. I haven't been able to eat solid food since.
- The Yeah Yeah Yeah's are coming to the opera house on the 29th (my b-day!) and I so need to go because:
1)the tickets are only $16 (that's Canadian)
2)are the coolest band ever (any band with their name HAS to be good)
3) it's on my birthday, it's fate
All I have to do is somehow convince a friend to go with me.
- summer's almost over. I'm actually looking foward to school. It may be lame but it's true. I need something to focus on 9-3. Well that and I've watched too Much Music for it to be considered healthy.
- title lyrics- in this diary by the Ataris

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
and not a spoken feeling.
I'm knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80's songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top's singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it's time to go.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

I can't help be bored while this world passes by.
- only had to work 2 hours yesterday but got paid for 4 because you could go in on a voluntary basis and help out cause they weren't going to open cause they aren't an 'essential service.'
- I bought that suit yesterday. It had gone down to only $90! (hey if you were to buy it at a boutique or something it would've been around $1000 so) Bought some fishnets too.
- going in to get my braces put on Thursday. Not looking forward to the pain.
- Title lyrics: Mr. Amsterdam by Sum 41

I've said this before no matter how hard I try.
I can't help be bored while this world passes by.

SO!

This revelation's got no meaning.
We've lost it all in hopeless dreaming.

AM I JUST LOSING GRIP??
Paint it black and just forget me.
THIS WORLD'S A SINKING SHIP!
Cuz our baggage is too heavy

I can't stop believing that there's something to be said.
What are we achieving with the bull shit that we're fed?
I know why they're gonna say, I've lived to see the day,
this world comes to be, here's a resignation from me.
A resignation from me.
A resignation from me.

I've said this before no matter how hard I try.
I can't help be bored while this world passes by.

Don't tell me we're close to something, that we don't even understand.

WE'RE PRISONERS TO OUR HOMES!!
Some might say we're all to blame.
THE OUTSIDE'S SO UNKNOWN!!!
I don't want you to complain.

I can't find the answers to save humanity.
I can't fight the anger.
Here's a resignation from me.