It been a bad day, another bad day and all I want to do is look at you and know I'm okay.
OMG my life sucks. One of my best friends is leaving my school because she now lives in Scarborough and she didn't bother to tell me until yesterday when I already knew because I asked one of her close friends if he knew what was going on and so he told me. I mean this is one of those things that you tell someone. You don't just show up at school and be all 'Oh yeah by the way I'm not coming back Monday or ever have a nice life.' I mean you should have some decency. Yesterday when I found out the first thought going through my head was 'She still has my Linkin Park cd.' Is that wrong? I hope not.
- Ha no school tomorrow. Gonna go feed the homeless in downtown Toronto. Finally going to a Catholic high school is starting to pay off.
- title lyrics: Bad Day- Something Corporate

It's been a bad day,
another bad day and all I want to do is look at you and know I'm okay.
From where I'm sitting these shoes ain't fitting and I'm walking backwards,
looking down, don't see the sky I see the ground.

Above
below you look and so you wonder,
where the time has gone of looking up, tomorrows on its way.
Above
below you look and so you say,
when I wake up in the morning is it 'gonna be another ugly day?

She sits in church its 2 pm and look whose back from work again.
I guess they thought your better off, without this life, without a job.
From where I'm sitting these shoes ain't fitting and I'm going nowhere,
killing time, just trying to feed my bleeding mind.

It's been a bad day,
another bad day and I cross my heart and hope to die
these dreams of yours are 'gonna fly.

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Oi. Hey people. Hope your all doing well. How am I doing? Hmmmm. I've said the word 'suck' so much that it has lost all meaning to me.Everything is falling apart. I'm not talk to my dad. I'm not talking to my friend because sshe won't stop skipping school. My coffee maker broke and I refuse to drip the crap they call coffee at school. I have sooo much homework, just spent about half my bank account and my computer deleted all my music. Anyone wanna trade lives? Please? Oh well, I'll find a way to get through all this, one thing at a time. I just have to keep telling myself that murder is a felony.
- title lyrics: Child Psychology- Black Box Recorder

stopped talking when I was six years old
I didn't want anything more to do with the outside world
I was happy being quiet
But, of course, they wouldn't leave me alone
My parents tried every trick in the book
From speech therapists to child psychologists
They even tried bribery
I could have anything
As long as I said it out loud

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Of course this episode didn't last forever
I'd made my point and it was time to move on
To peel away the next layer of deceit
And see what new surprises lay in store
My school report said I showed no interest
"A disruptive influence"
I felt sorry for them in a way
And when they finally expelled me
It didn't mean a thing

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

(At that time she stopped what she was doing, she stopped playing. She stared, she had the facial grimicing, and then the psychiatrist was saying, "Julie, Julie, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes? Can you stick out your tongue?" And all of a sudden, Julie struck out.)

The November day when I came home
The Christmas decorations were already up
Spray on snow, coloured flashing lights
And an artificial tree that played Silent Night
Over and over again
My parents welcomed me with loving arms
But within an hour were back at each others throats
Normal, happy childhood back on course
Batteries not included

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it
Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

So don't take anything for granted, sit outside in the rain.
I know I'm awful. I've been busy. It's true! Work is keeping me so busy and the homework, and I'm now writing on the school paper and my first article is due on Monday and I haven't started it yet. . . and the story that I'm writing is giving me major writer's block, so that leaves no time to do anything else, barely sleep! And tomorrow I have a funeral in the morning for my best firend's aunt and I 'm going because I knew her and her daughter goes to school with my brother. And then I have to work AND the I have to go to a baby shower. I mean how screwed up is that? And my web 'zine hasn't been updated and I said it would be done Monday and even then it was a week overdue. So you can't really hate me that much. I'll post the finished article for the paper on here when it's done. It's about the origin of skateboarding. I thought it was a cool topic.
- title lyrics: Never give up- New Found Glory

Living with me
I don't think it would be so bad
This is the first time this year
That I'm not going to make you mad
I'm tired of my conscious
Always telling me to stop slipping in
But I can't waste a second
On trains that will never begin

Everyone has a head upon their shoulders
We're losing our pride as we all get older
Everyone has to become their saviors
You might not get it right
Or you might realize that its too late

Don't back down
I'm over the past
Can't you see
Don't back down
I don't really care about before
Before you met me

Is it cool if I see you tonight
There's a thousand questions
I want to ask you
If you think that its alright

Everyone has a head upon their shoulders
We're losing our pride as we all get older
Everyone has to become their saviors
You might not get it right
Or you might realize that its too late

Don't back down
I'm over the past
Can't you see
Don't back down
I don't really care about before
Before you met me

So don't take anything for granted
Sit outside in the rain
An excuse you know I planned it
Every ending
Its all the same

don't back down
I'm over the past
can't you see
don't back down
I don't really care about before
before you met me

What I'd give for a normal Tuesday
- haven't updated in a while, you all must be heart broken
- now in the second week of school. Classes are okay. Took me a while to find my locker (still need to have the number written on my hand to remember which one it is)
- have had two things pointed out:
1) why are only the pop tabs used to make wheelchairs? Why not the rest of the can?
2) All the months that have and 'r' in them are bunched together while the ones that don't have an 'r' are all together.
- Bought the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club cd. Very cool. Everyone needs to buy it.
- Got new red Converse All-Star high tops. THE COOLEST pair of shoes ever!
- Now have chocolate covered coffee beans, which are the best things ever. I mean chocolate AND coffee- what more could you want?
- My birthday was good. Got lots of money which I will spend on cd's because I have over 30 I need to buy. Also need to buy some books (most about Buffy)
- Now have an addiction to NOFX, the Violent Femmes and Bif Naked. All incredibly good (at least in mym opinion).
- Am now writing for the school newspaper for two reasons:
1) have no extra-curriculars
2) like writing anyways
- You know it's sad when the highlight of your summer was going to summer school. *sighs* Oh well maybe next summer I'll go to NYC *grins* God I love that place.
- title lyrics: Tired Of It Anyway by Treble Charger

Waiting for a hundred different things
that i know you could never bring
thinking bout the thousand times a day
you treat me like a throwaway

every time it's a lost cause sunday
turns around there's an ok monday
every time your not around's like a holiday
i'm getting tired of it anyway

(Chorus)
Don't say it don't say it
cuz everything you ever say
is just another story
just save it and save it
just because u say the words
it doesn't mean your sorry

The moments never dull when i'm with you
but you never see the moment through
and all of this excitement wears me down
as much as all the runaround

What i'd give for a normal tuesday
already know what I'm in for wednesday
Every week your acts a little more passe
I'm getting tired of it anyway

(Chorus)

Everything you do
I can't trust it
everything you say
don't believe a word

Everything you do
I can't trust it
Everything you say
I don't believe a word

(Chorus)x2

Don't say it, don't say it
Just in case you change your story
Just save it and save it
Can't exchange your new found glory
Don't say it, Don't say it
Just because you say your sorry
Just save it, And save it
You can't change your story

Can't stop myself forom laughing no matter how sad these things can be
- Got the top row of braces on. They feel weird. . . very weird.
- My birthday tomorrow! Yay! Just one more year til I get my learner's permit. . . .
- Title lyrics: Sometimes Wanna Die by Joydrop

Don't worry bout one thing
Don't worry bout nothing
She said I'm not gonna let this one go
Nobody's on my side
Nobody seems to see
How much, how deep, how far these can be

My eyes are dry and, I
My eyes are dry and
I,I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I sometimes wanna die

And everywhere I go
And everyone I see
Somehow almost sets me free
And the space where we meet
Is different from the rest
And I just can't seem to forget that

My eyes are dry and
I, I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna

And you were at the start
And now you are at the end
And you left me with nothing to defend
I need the voice of a good friend

Can't stop myself forom laughing
No matter how sad these things can be
These things can be

My eyes are bright and
I, I still don't even know you
I, I still wish that I could hold you
I, I still don't even know you
I, I sometimes wanna die (3x)
Yeah I sometimes wanna die
I, I sometimes wanna die (4x)
Yeah I sometimes wanna

Being grown up isn't half as a growing up. These are the best days of our lives
- haven't updated in a few days.Actually been fairly busy.
- went to the ortho on Thurs. and they put these spacers in so the braclets for the barces will fit. they SUCK. I haven't been able to eat solid food since.
- The Yeah Yeah Yeah's are coming to the opera house on the 29th (my b-day!) and I so need to go because:
1)the tickets are only $16 (that's Canadian)
2)are the coolest band ever (any band with their name HAS to be good)
3) it's on my birthday, it's fate
All I have to do is somehow convince a friend to go with me.
- summer's almost over. I'm actually looking foward to school. It may be lame but it's true. I need something to focus on 9-3. Well that and I've watched too Much Music for it to be considered healthy.
- title lyrics- in this diary by the Ataris

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
and not a spoken feeling.
I'm knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80's songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top's singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it's time to go.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

I can't help be bored while this world passes by.
- only had to work 2 hours yesterday but got paid for 4 because you could go in on a voluntary basis and help out cause they weren't going to open cause they aren't an 'essential service.'
- I bought that suit yesterday. It had gone down to only $90! (hey if you were to buy it at a boutique or something it would've been around $1000 so) Bought some fishnets too.
- going in to get my braces put on Thursday. Not looking forward to the pain.
- Title lyrics: Mr. Amsterdam by Sum 41

I've said this before no matter how hard I try.
I can't help be bored while this world passes by.

SO!

This revelation's got no meaning.
We've lost it all in hopeless dreaming.

AM I JUST LOSING GRIP??
Paint it black and just forget me.
THIS WORLD'S A SINKING SHIP!
Cuz our baggage is too heavy

I can't stop believing that there's something to be said.
What are we achieving with the bull shit that we're fed?
I know why they're gonna say, I've lived to see the day,
this world comes to be, here's a resignation from me.
A resignation from me.
A resignation from me.

I've said this before no matter how hard I try.
I can't help be bored while this world passes by.

Don't tell me we're close to something, that we don't even understand.

WE'RE PRISONERS TO OUR HOMES!!
Some might say we're all to blame.
THE OUTSIDE'S SO UNKNOWN!!!
I don't want you to complain.

I can't find the answers to save humanity.
I can't fight the anger.
Here's a resignation from me.

Finally got the nerve to tell you how much you mean to me; you said i was your best friend
- Aunt + uncle came to visit today. Had lunch, went swimming, fell down and scraped up my knee pretty badly.
- Have to work tomorrow. Great more stuff I'll need to know. I swear it will take me about 6 mpnths to stop calling people 'hey you' and actually learn their real names.
- Want to go see 'Grind'. God that looks like a funny movie. Now I'll I have to do is find a friend that is still spaeking to me to go with; could pose problems.
- need to go shopping badly. Well I don't NEED to go so much as I WANT to go. At least it's air-conditioned in the mall.
- Haven't had ANY coffee today which resulted in my slightly 'surly, sarcastic, the-world-can-bite-my-ass' attitude.Falling down didn't help it at all.
- Realized that I've updated this almost everyday and there are like NO comments :( so now I'm quite unhappy.
- Title is from the song 'Your Boyfriend Sucks' by the Ataris. Here's the rest of it:

You're better off without him, don't call him...
He's breaking your heart.
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,
It's tearing you apart.

He lied to you a thousand times,
When I was there he kept you waiting.

And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.

Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me you said that I was your best friend,
A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be.

And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.

Kill the rock stars
Another day has come and gone. . . *sighs*
- Watched the second half of Pride and Prejudice on A&E. Went to the dentists. Couldn't talk w/o intense pain for almost two hours. So awful. Am wondering what colour to die my hair. Maybe something wild like blue or red or purple. Something to get rid of the boredom. Toodles.

The four letter word got stuck in my head, the dirtiest word that I've ever said, it's making me feel alright.
Hey is it me or do power black-outs so suck? Yeah I live about an hour from Toronto so we had no power until this morning. It makes you realize how much we rely on electricity. And how much I really need music. I couldn't even make any coffee to calm me down because, duh, the coffee maker needs electricity. But there are a whole ton of people who are suffering more than I was so I shouldn't complain. But yay! There's power now and I'm going to stop because in a minute I'm gonna be repeating myself and you'll all be getting bored and leave.
- I have new bookcases! Go me! They're white and shiny and new and new is almost always better than old. I haven't actually put them together yet but it shouldn't be too hard.
- Everyone go out and download 'Blinded (when I see you)' by Third Eye Blind. It is like the best song I've listened to all week.
Toodles