Lil' (Vamp) Men...

PG-13

Summary: In the free fall after the "Destiny" episode...Yes, potential spoilers-Run like Hell!...Prior to leaving for Europe, William gives his take on his role in Buffy's world...

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

I kinda like this shortie so...Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse, "Normal" (hey note the quotes cause I'm just gonna do to your long note on what constitutes your idea of the normal Buffyverse what Spike did with Buffy's ideas for his comic strip in "How to Murder Your (Immortal) Wife"...which by the way is archived on the BR verse page at www.geocities.com /buffyrebecca/hmw.html) Buffyverse page, www.angelfire.com/zine2/buffyrebecca/index.html...



Angel frowned at the pacing blonde vampire currently attempting to wear down his carpet...

"Look, Spike..." he began...

"Enough Angel...I've waited as you asked until Wesley and Willow, Jr. here..." William gave Winifred a sly grin... "Could check things out...The Universe is no longer wonky...And I am out of here..."

"Need I remind you that you just accepted a partnership here...A junior partnership..." Angel glared... "It would be nice if you settled in and actually did something before taking your first vacation..."

Nice suit, by the way...he noted... Thanks, William nodded... "It's one of yours...I had the inhouse tailor it cut down...No time to waste running round the mall..." "What!?...I haven't even worn that one yet!..." Angel fumed...

So?...You and I haven't worn suits since 1918...William noted... "Besides light colors clash with your heroic brood..."

See...He turned to Fred... "Takin' your advice about trying to fit in...Though it seems more like grinding myself down in the Angelic-poof cookie cutter..."

We have an inhouse tailor?...Wes eyed Fred...Oh, yeah...she nodded... Gee, hasn't he noticed I'm dressing better these days...?

"Angel...I saved the world in general and your bloody ass in particular...I call that above and beyond...And you might remember that I hold another position as well as your junior asswiper (after you, of course Wesley...he nodded politely)...as of 3pm yesterday...One which requires that I make this trip in any case..." he drew himself and suit up solemnly... "As newly appointed Official LA Observer of the restored Royal Council of Librarians and Library Scientists attached to observe the actions of this firm by order our beloved Chairman Giles, it's an absolute necessity that I immediately confer with my Chairman...er Chairperson..." he corrected, beaming at Winifred and the just-entered Harmony...

Bloody Christ...Wesley fumed to himself...I toil for years in this damned LA salt mine and this little snot of a blonde vampire saves the world once...Once, I remind you...And Giles puts him on the new Council...?

"Spike...Before you go off half-cocked..." William looked down, surely the new suit was doing a better job of hiding it than that... "...to Europe..." Angel eyed him...

He waved a hand... "Yeah, yeah...Look...Blossman I got it...I'm not a fool...I know my place in the Slayer's world...I'm the former poet, remember?...I've had it figured out for some time now and Buffy doesn't need you to spell it for me...I'll be sparing her sympathetic, sweet heart don't worry..."



"Actually..." Angel eyed him, a faint smile... "It wasn't Buffy's feelings I was trying to spare..."

William eyed him a mo...A slow return smile spreading...Well... "Thanks, 'Granddad'...But am I serious...Liam...I understand my role in the scheme of things Buffy and I've accepted it...I just want to see my Summers girls again...Give 'em the thrill of experiencing William in the flesh again..." Angel glared... "With appropriate covering..." he waved a hand, indicating the suit...

Phone and email just don't compare, you know...

He does carry off a suit better than I would have expected...Fred noted to herself...But then I suppose back in the 1880's...

"But honestly...I know my part now..." he nodded...Pausing as Angel, Fred, and Harmony stared at him...

"I'm the Laurie in this production of 'Little Summers Women'...And I'm content with it..."

Angel blinked...Not exactly the role he'd of cast Spike in... "...'Laurie'...?" Fred asked...Harmony explaining...As Angel and William in turn stared at her...Never would have thought Harm would've read Louisa May...

Say...Angel suddenly looked at his new junior partner... "That mean I figure as Professor Baer?..." A tad pleased...

"You?..." William chucked... "You couldn't even spell transcendentalism...No, ole pal...You are the nameless foreign immigrant our Buffy-Jo passed in the street one day while thinking up one of her more lurid tales and thought was just the kinda hunky type she could use for her latest strong but dim hero..."

"And you might remember I'm now your employer...Walthrop..." Angel glared...

"My...Other...Employer, Mr. Angel..." Will replied... "And while I intend to be utterly objective at all times in my role as Observer...It would be a shame if I had to report to the Council that you seem to be falling under the influence of the sinister senior partners and their toys...Displaying signs of megalomania and all that..."

They say Hitler had quite a brood...he noted solemnly...

"Buffy would be heartbroken...Having to bring a task force of Slayers to raze this place to the ground as a pre-emptive move...But she did seem inclined that way anyway when I spoke to her and Giles yesterday..."

Guess knowing you and all...he gave an innocent look... "She did not..." Angel glared, then... "Did she?...Hell, she knows me better than that I hope..."

"Well, ok...I was just yanking yours...But she was a tad annoyed 'bout your delay in informing her of my miraculous return...And if someone...Who as yet has not...Were to inform her of my recent plight regards incorporeality and your sitting by on your ass welcoming my near slide into Hell..." he eyed his new senior partner... "I think you might find her inclined to view any negative reports on your activities by me in the worst light possible..."

"All right, fine...Get out of here...Go to Europe... 'Laurie'...Stay there if you damned well want to...We got on fine here without you and will go on fine without you..."

"Gee...You really think I got that much chance with her?...I mean you being the ex- and all...Maybe I should upgrade my role after all...I do have a lot of the professorial type about me when I'm not insane with blood-lust and the sheer instinctual joy of soulless killing..."

"Get Out!..."

"I'll give my best to the girls and ole Giles...Any special messages for your dear Xander?..."

"Security...This is Mr. Angel...If Mr. Walthrop has not left the building within fifteen minutes his special status is declared null and void and you have a killer vampire within our building to destroy on sight..."

"I'll see in you in say...Three weeks, boss?...That's about a reasonable naturalized American-of-European-descent-who-knows-something-about-how-to-live executive vacation, isn't it?..."



Oh...he paused by the door... "I know of course you'll have finally gotten round to dealing with poor ole Dru by the time I return...But just in case your hair care schedule prevents you, I'd like to make her my focus when I get back...It's high time someone cared enough to give the poor thing peace..."

That does sound like Theodore Lawrence...Harmony noted to Fred...Very sensitive, gentlemanly kind of guy, though very passionate and kinda sexy, in an 1860s kinda way...

"Later people...And remember, I expect the rest of the team to maintain my high standards of performance while I'm away...Including proper Angelic asswiping, Wyndham-Price..." he waved a hand as he headed out the door...

Damn I shoulda said five minutes...Angel noted...

"Does this mean he gonna start up with Dawn now?..." Harmony asked... "Cause you know, that's what Laurie did when Jo turned him down...Switched to the younger sister..."

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