Deathwishes...


Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...
Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Play main theme..."Hey There..."

Part I...

   


This makes six...Buffy thought...As she re-entered Spike's old graveyard...

Six times in one night...The record to date...

God...If the others found out...Hell to pay...

And I'm not a little...Pissed at myself...

Checking Spike's old place to see if he's come ho...Back...

A light shined in her eyes a second...Damn...

"Hold it!..." A guard called to her...Hurrying over...

Ever since Riley and I blasted the damned old crypt...Guards on every shift...

"This is private property, miss..."

Hmmn...she eyed the middle-aged guard in his uniform...

Wait a minute...

"You're a vampire..." she glared at him...

Slayer?...He blanched...

"Just earning a living, ma'am..." he pleaded...

No kills when I'm on the job...Hell, I probably protect more people driving them off from here than I
ever kill...er killed...When I still killed...Before I got a responsible job and could buy blood...he
hastily noted...

Please?...he gulped...

"I even have a human partner working with me...Still fine, still breathing...Come on over and you
can see for yourself..."

"Lets see 'im..." she sighed...

I can tell him your car broke down...You just need to make a call or something...he noted helpfully...

"Actually I do..." she replied curtly...

Bout time I checked in with Dawny...she thought...

They passed a large monument...Both tensed...Sensing...

"Do you feel something too?..." the vamp guard eyed her...

I try to shoo em away...My job...he noted rather proudly...

Suddenly a harsh cry...And something...Someone came crashing down on the Slayer...

A blonde Someone...

"Spike!!" Buffy screamed at the vampire as he held her down...

The other fellow vamoosing as fast as his little guard's legs could carry him...

Though to his credit...To fetch help in the form of his partner...

Not exactly the hunter type, this one...

Spike in work face was holding her down...But somehow she wasn't afraid or even overly
concerned...

He somehow didn't seem ready to follow things through to the conclusion...

But seemed anxious to convince her he was...

"You're gonna die now Slayer!..." he repeated...Somehow without that ole Spikean menace...

And he seemed to be avoiding doing anything particularly lethal...Though...

Did he just try to cop a feel?...

Gee...Kinda missed that touch of his...

"Damnit, Spike!" she hollered at him, throwing him off...

What the hell do you think you're doing?...

"I'm going to kill you, Buffy!..." he cried...But somehow it lacked conviction...

Still...She couldn't let the ambush...Or the feel...Slide...

She kicked him back hard...

"Spike!...I've had enough of you!..."

This time...she began...It's really ov...

She saw the tears in his eyes...Streaming a bit...Now...

"William...?" she gasped...

What's wrong...?

"Kill me!..." he screamed at her...

Kill me or I'll kill you!...Buffy...he paused...

Couldn't call her...Buffy...And go on with it...he dropped to his knees, sobbing...

"William..." she stared at him...

"Kill me...Kill me, please...Buffy..."

If you ever gave a damn for me...Kill me now...he looked up at her...

He tried to rise up at her...But...

"Look at me..." he shook his head through the tears...

I can't even get the Slayer to kill me...

"Will...What's wrong?...What's happened...?" she looked at him...

My God...she gasped, seeing him clearly...

Where the hell did you get those scars?...

Africa...he sighed...

Fought a demon god and his minions...Won...

Or lost...Depends on your pov...he shook his head...

Hmmn...Beat a god?...Nice...she thought...

But why the...?

"Spike?...What the hell are you doing attacking me like that?...You know I could've killed you just
now..."

He glared at her...What the hell do you think I did it for, moron?...His look clearly saying...

"Long way from killing me, I'd say..." he grumbled...

But...Since she clearly wasn't in a killer mood...And he'd exhausted the limits of his ability to
menace...He got up, dusting himself off...

No Slayer coat, she noticed...And his hair looks...A little more natural...

As a fellow peroxider she had an instinct for these things...

"How's things been with you, Slayer?..." he asked politely...

Well...she began...Eager to tell all...Hell, why else had she been checking this place out every night
for weeks but to tell her boyf...Tell her former nemesis...About things...

Whoops...Gotta maintain discipline...No one attacks the Slayer...Or cops a feel on Buffy Summers...

"I really should stake you right now, Spike..." she glared...

He put a hand to his face...Please do, he muttered...

"What?..." she stared at him...

"I want you to kill me...Is that clear and monosyllabic enough for you?..." he eyed her...

Kill...You?...she stared at him...

When you just came home...To me?...she thought...

Er...Just got back...To annoy us...she mentally corrected...

Kill...Me...Yes...he glared at her...

"You are still the Slayer, right?...It's what you do, right, love?..."

Ummn...Well...Right, my lo...er Love...she thought...

But...

"Spike, why do you want me to kill you?..."

"Because I want what's left of Spike...In me...Dead..."

So, if you wouldn't mind...
"How's about doin' your duty, Ms. Summers...?"

Here...he picked the stake she'd dropped...

Ummn...she stared at him...

"If you don't...I might just pay a call on dear old Dawny...Or the others..." he glared...

"So...?" she eyed him...

The chip wouldn't let you hurt them...

"William...Why do you want to die?..." A thought suddenly sparking in her mind...He
feels...Different...

Summers...he sighed...I just attacked you...I tried to assault you...Damnit girl, what does it take?...

Ok...he threw up his hands...

"I should've tried ole Harris first anyhow...I was just afraid he'd hurt himself trying to kill me..."

Xander?...

"No!!..." she cried...

"You can't go there...He really might kill you..."

Hello...he eyed her...

"What have I just been asking you for...?...Do you think I'm lying?..."

"I don't understand Spike..." she looked at him...

"Why...?" Now when we're back together...she desperately brushed the thought away...

Oh, my God...she thought...

Nah...It couldn't be...I'm just upset and my senses are a little dull...

"Hey!!!" the vamp guard was returning...With his promised human buddy...

Great...Buffy looked back at him and his friend as they raced up...

I had to find the one with a sense of social responsibility...

A Slayer-saving vampire...

"It's o..." she began...Spike grabbing her from behind...

"This girl's dead if you two make a move!..." he cried...

God, not again...Spike!...What the hell's with you?...she thought, squirming...

But not enough to break loose...Eyeing the pistol in the human's hand...And the wooden stick, torn
from something in her vamp guard's...

My vamp hero...she rolled her eyes...But stayed in Spike's grip...

"Let her go..." the human guard cried...

Or I shoot...

Spike tossed her at them...And moved back...A clear target...

"Got him, Slayer..." the vamp guard whispered to her as he passed her...

No!!!...she screamed, hopping up...Tearing the stake from the vamp's hand...

The other fired at William...No effect beyond his reeling back a bit...

Stings, those silly little things...

The human guard fell back and ran for his call box...His friend following...

Staring at the strange Slayer he'd tried to help...Geesh...

Well...They say the Slayers have a death wish...he noted, turning to run after his pal...

She ran up to Spike who stood against the large monument he'd jumped her from...

With the vamp guard's stake in his hand...Scooped up from where she'd tossed it...

"Spike is almost gone...Let me finish the job..." he pleaded...

"I know...I know...But...Please...No!!...Will...Please don't!..." she cried...Grabbing for his hand...

"Don't leave me!...William...Please...No...God, don't leave me now..." she sobbed...Embracing him
as she twisted the stick out of his hand...

Don't leave me again, Will...Please...Stay...

"I love you..." she whispered in his hair...

Not Spike...You...
I never stopped loving you...William...Never...

"Cicely?.." he breathed...

She blinked at him...Every bit as confused as he...

***
A young man entered a dive just outside the Sunnydale limits...

A young man of pudgy aspect...With a harassed, hunted look to him...A guiltily hunted look...

And a ridiculous looking phony beard and wig...

He nervously beckoned the barkeep over, demanding whiskey...

"Id?..." the barkeep eyed him...

"What...?" he stared at the man...Looking round the dive...A coupla elderly barflies hanging
round...One clearly a demon at that...

Hey...Law's the law...the barkeep eyed him...

The young man fumblingly pulled out his wallet...Phony id...

"Juilo Hernandez?..." the barkeep regarded him, looking carefully at the id...

That's me...Warren nodded...

And you're 34...? the barkeep smiled...

"You gonna sell me the drink or no...?"

No...the man shook his head...

I look too young?...Warren stared at him...

"Nope...I just don't like smart-assed punks..."

Out...the barkeep pointed...

"Or what...?" Warren stood up...

Or I pull the trigger...the barkeep smiled...Pulling out a shotgun...

Ok..Warren put his hands up...

Ok...No problemo...
"Too early in the day for me anyway..." he muttered, backing away...

A woman stood in the doorway, eyeing him...

With a wide smirk...

"Hey, Warren..." she grinned at him as he backed up towards the door...and her...

Jesus!...He jumped, whirling round...

Hi...she nodded...

Right on time, Mr. Mears...she smiled...Pointing to a dark booth...

He's ok, Henry...she called to the barkeep...Who frowned but put his gun away...

"Come and sit down...Before you fall down, Warren..." the woman patted him...

"Will you can it?..." he frowned at her...Taking a seat in the booth across from her...

"That anyway to talk to the girl who saved your miserable hide from the most powerful wiccan the
world's seen...At least in quite a while..." she frowned back...

Hey...he glared...The idea was mine...

But the talent was mine...she eyed him...

Your robot and then your pitiful clone would never have fooled Willow for a second without my
ability...

Not to mention my helping you grow clone boy in a few hours instead of 24 years...she noted...

And I expect you to keep your part of our bargain...Amy grinned at him...

***
"Cicely...?" Dawn eyed Buffy...

He called you...Cicely?...

Yeah. Buffy nodded tersely...As they approached the grounds of the new Sunnydale High...

"The girl who dumped him in 1880?..." Dawn looked at her sis...

Yeah.

"Seems they had more of a history than he let on that night..." Buffy frowned...

Oh...? Dawn turned to her, holding up a moment...

Yeah.

"And...?" Dawn frowned, staring at her sis...Who had also refrained from mentioning her own little
burst of bizarre emotion during the encounter...

Married...Buffy growled out, a bit reluctant...

What?...Dawn blinked at her...Halting in her tracks...

"Married?...Spike?..."

"Just a day or two..." Buffy looked away...

Then she chased him away...And he died...she looked back at Dawn...

Definitely something going on in there...Dawn thought, looking at Buffy's clouded face...

"And he thinks you're...?"

Seems to be his notion...As of last night, at least...Buffy paused...

Though he hinted he was beginning to think he'd sensed it all along...

"Ridiculous, of course..." Buffy noted...Looking up the road towards the waiting new high school
building...And her new career...As well as Dawn's next step towards adulthood...

"I make a coupla silly coincidental remarks to him...That happen to be things this Cicely said to
him...A century ago..."

And tell him I never betrayed him, never stopped loving him...she did not say...

As ridiculous as the soul thing...she looked at Dawn...

Something in her eyes saying something quite different, Dawn realized...

"But...I humored him...Said I'd look into it with Giles..." Buffy continued...

He seemed kinda...Depressed...Even a little...Crazy...

"Like Angel?..." Dawn asked, a bit anxious...

"It couldn't be true...Could it...?" Buffy looked at her sis...

A soul...?

"Sounds like he's feeling the remorse thing..." Dawn noted...

But Giles would be the one to ask...When he gets back...she hastily added...

"Anya might be able to tell..." Buffy eyed her...

One demon can sense another...Even if she is part human still...

"Maybe..." Dawn nodded...

But...Buffy...? If the soul thing is true...?

"I'll be careful with him, Dawn...I won't take any chances..." Buffy replied reassuringly...

Well...Good...Dawn nodded...But...

"What do we do...For him...If it is true?..."

I...Buffy paused...

I don't know...she looked on down the street where a mix of eager, phony jaded, and truly jaded
students were converging on the school grounds...Groups beginning to cluster at various spots...

What if...? Dawn resumed...And stopped...

"We'll deal with Will's soul...If it is back...When the time comes..." Buffy shook her head...

We have enough to worry about right now...

"Anyway, I got him to go to a new crypt last night...Clem took what stuff he had of his to him...He'll
be ok for now..."

He promised not to...Do anything...she looked at Dawn, hesitating...

To himself, I mean...she added...

For my sake...she did not say...

After I pleaded with him for the best part of an hour...And refused to leave without his solemn
promise...On his new soul...If it exists...she likewise did not say...

Ok...Dawn nodded as they continued on...But...What I meant to ask was...

What if this Cicely stuff is true?...she eyed her sis...

Buffy halted...

"Are you saying it's my fault?!..." she whirled on her sis...

That I condemned him?...Abandoned him...?...she glared at Dawn intently...

Ummn...No...Dawn stared at her sister...

"I just mean..."

"It has nothing to do with me!..." Buffy cried...

It was Fate!...The Powers That Be!...she insisted, her voice getting a mite shrill...

Was that a slight British accent creeping into her voice?...Dawn wondered, staring at her...

***

Deathwishes...Part II...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse, www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all
other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...
Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Part II...

Seven hours before a certain infamous house party in 1880, Cicely Addams Walthrop wrote to her
husband in London, back at the flat he'd been lent by her cousin...

"Dearest William,

The indications are very strong that I shall shortly be fighting what may well be the greatest of my
enemies and as I may either not be able to write you again or you may wish never to hear from me
again, against my best judgement I am compelled to write these lines to you in the hope that they
will fall under your eye one day when I am no more.

I have this past night sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive
in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of Humanity
and of the principles we have so often advocated and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear
death" have called upon me, and I obey.

The battle I fight may be a success...And I may hope that once done, I may yet be able to explain my
behavior of this coming evening...Acts yet to be committed which you will not understand...And
perhaps never forgive...But not my will, but thine, O God, be done. If it be required that I fall in this
fight for Mankind, I am ready. I have no misgivings or uncertainty in the justice of my cause...I
know as no one else, the great debt all of us owe to my predecessor Slayers. And I am willing, truly
willing to offer my life and soul as they have.

This day, this very morning, I informed my cousin Henry of my calling and my great sorrow and
with difficulty convinced him of the truth of my seeming ravings...He has pledged to speak to you
within a day of tonight's battle and will bring you proof that what he will tell you is true. I can only
hope that hearing...And believing...You may, one day, come to understand why I choose now to send
you away...So soon, so soon, my darling...

William, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing
but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Mankind comes over me like a strong wind and
bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to tonight's battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most
gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them, however brief. And hard it is for me to give
them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and
loved together and seen our children grow up to honorable man? and womanhood around us. I have,
I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me perhaps
it is the wafted prayer of my dear departed little Edgar from Heaven that I shall return to my love
unharmed. If I do not, my dear Will, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath
escapes me, it will whisper your name...

Your loving
Cicely..."


Mrs. Walthrop's cousin Henry nobly attempted to forestall her battle with the Angelus pride by
finding and attacking them in their lair that afternoon...Left for dead by Darla, he was found and
saved by local citizens...

Although the night's battle was prevented and the immediate menace felt to be reduced by the
uproar in the city caused by the attack, the near death of her beloved cousin persuaded her to go
through with her previous plan and use the demon Halfreck, summoned by her Council and her
Watcher, Simon Farris, to impersonate her and convince her newly-wedded husband that she had
decided their marriage had been a foolish mistake...

Attacked by Drusilla after fleeing the Foxcroft house party shattered by Cicely's icy rejection,
William died late that night and turned shortly afterwards, Cicely prevented from reaching him in
time to prevent his resurrection after collapsing on seeing his body in the morgue...A collapse in part
brought on by her pregnant condition. Her letter was later found, unopened, in the flat's mailbox by
her cousin...

She died six months later in premature childbirth, along with her stillborn daughter.
***
The tall, distinguished-looking, elderly man ended his reading, eyeing his two visitors...

"Is that the information you required?..." Rollins, chief archivist of the Council of Watchers eyed his
old friend Rupert Giles who nodded and quietly thanked him for taking the risk of disbursing such
highly guarded and sensitive information...A deeply shocked Willow beside him...

It's true...she thought as they slowly made their way out of the dim vaults of the archives...I couldn't
believe it when Buffy called and asked us to check out Spike's crazy notion...

I mean...Sure, it was obvious somewhere in there she wanted to believe it...But...

Then Giles found out...There was a Cicely...And more, she was a Slayer...One of the greatest...But
still...I couldn't believe the rest...God...
***

Deathwishes...Part III...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse, www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all
other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...
Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Part III...

Hmmn...Buffy thought, looking around the office...

Seems like old times...Back in the principal's office...

Funny how they all look the same...

From behind his wide desk, the principal eyed Buffy with a wide smile...And began the usual spiel...

"This work-study program is an excellent chance for you to see all aspects of the teaching
experience, Ms. Summers..."

Buffy beamed her own smile in return...Nodding dutifully...

Carefully decked out in her most professional suit...The red "throughly responsible Buffy" one...

Well, at least this one seemed relatively ok...the principal thought...

In spite of what the staff from the old high school had said...

"And of course, it will be good for your sister to have you close at hand..." he continued...

Hmmn...Just like when my mom was a teacher at my junior high...he thought...And every kid in
school tortured me over it...
Still, poor kid, she must be having a hell of a time raising that sis of hers alone...And trying to get
back with college...

***
"Xander..." Anya sighed as they strode through the graveyard...

Rather pretty actually in the morning sun...

"We should think this over..."

Uh-huh...he nodded...

"I'll think it over...Spike's ashes..." he turned to look at her...

She rolled her eyes...

"You heard what Buffy said..." she began...

He stopped and looked at her again...

"After the words... "Spike's back"...I stopped listening..." he frowned...

Don't argue with me on this, An...he muttered, resuming his pace...

"Whatever he told her last night...It's all hooey...Spike trying to get back in her good graces..."

He wanted her to kill him...Anya eyed him...

Sure he did...Xander muttered...And halted...

"Look..." he stared at her...

"Buffy has a blind spot a mile wide where William the Bloody is concerned...Ever since she came
back to us...Maybe even before..."

Why that is...I don't know...he looked down a row of tombstones to where the large monuments and
crypts lay...

"But like hell am I gonna believe that Spike has a soul now...And that he knew Buffy in some past
life..."

They were married...Anya noted...If it's true...

He put up his hands, waving them as if to ward off the notion...

"Messing with minds is Spike's favorite sport...He left just long enough for her to miss him...Now
he's back with some crazy stories...And she's buying..."
I'm not letting her make this mistake again...

"He could've killed her last year...In his crypt...She told us that..." Anya shook her head...

I believe he's not planning to kill her...Yet...Xander glared...

He wants more than that...He's gonna have her begging for it if he can...That's what he wants...

"Buffy...?!...Begging...?" Anya stared at him...

"He wants to humiliate her, An..."

Hell, Angelus could've killed her that night back when Angel lost his soul...he noted...But it was too
much fun to let her live...And go after her friends and family, one by one...

"And that's what our dear Will is planning...Maybe foregoing the killing family and friends, thanks
to the chip...But only thanks to that..."

He tried to protect Dawn...When Buffy was gone...Anya tried again, as they began walking down
the row of tombstones...

"Fine...He loves Buffy...In his own bizarre, twisted way..." Xander eyed her as they walked...

Is that supposed to convince me to stand by and let her get involved with him again...?

"You're involved...Or you were...With a demon..." Anya noted quietly...

***

"I still don't see why you need me..." Warren noted to Amy as they sat in their booth...

If I didn't...she smiled...You'd've been roast flambee...And long-cold ashes right now...

"You're just lucky poor Rack thought of me when you went to him..."

And I'd say the need on your side was far greater...At least as far as survival goes...she noted...

"Am I saying I'm not grateful...?" Warren eyed her...

But going after the Slayer...Now...After my little disaster back in May?...

Can't we just leave well enough alone?...Slip off somewhere...

Together, maybe...he looked at her...

His hard past months curbing his instinctive addition of... "Babe..."...Hey, he needed this one...

She sniffed at him, coldly grinning...You and me?...Please...

Though somewhere, deep within her...Despite her full evaluation of Mears' worthless character or
lack thereof...

Somebody wants me...A voice cried...Somebody needs me...

And hey, he's not that bad-looking...And a genius, whatever else he is...

She pushed the voice down and frowned at him...

"I'm willing to admit that I need your help, Warren...I haven't a fraction of Willow's power when
she's juiced up..."

And you have the scientific background as well as some magics knowledge I haven't...Plus you've
studied the Slayer and co for months...

"If I'm going to break Willow...By destroying her friends...I'll need to do it in a way she'll never
trace back to me..."

If you're good at anything, it's covering your ass...Little man...she smiled...

"But..." Warren sighed... "What's the point?...Break Willow?...So what...?...So she becomes a mad
superwitch again?...And destroys the world for real next time...?"

My...And you were the guy who was gonna do in the Slayer and rule the world from Sunnydale with
the Hellmouth backing you up?...Amy eyed him coolly...

Well...That was only the long term goal...Warren noted...I woulda been happy ruling Sunnydale and
having Buffy kneeling at my feet actually...

"Willow won't be superwitch when we've finished with her...She'll be..." Amy paused...Looking
away..."Like me..."

Alone...

***



Deathwishes...Part IV...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...
Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Part IV...

As they methodically searched the crypts of the third cemetery they'd tried
since early morning, Anya continued to try to persuade her ex-fiancee to hold
his stake...At least until they'd met with Buffy and seen if she'd heard back
from Giles and Willow in England...Currently engaged in checking out William's
story to Buffy of the previous evening...

"Why don't you let me talk to him?..." Anya desperately suggested...

Buffy was right last night...I could sense it if he's changed...If a soul is
present...

"And you'd tell me if it wasn't...?" Xander eyed her...

If you don't believe I would, may I should just go right now...she angrily
frowned back at him...

"I imagine D'Hoffryn has plenty for me to do..."

An...he paused, sighing...

"I didn't mean it that way..." he looked down the row of crypts...All silent in
the midmorning sun...

Not a sign of habitation...Although Spike would've just settled in...And he was
pretty experienced at covering his tracks...

"I wouldn't have let you come unless I trusted you...And I do..." he pleaded...

But all we have is his say-so...And some vague feeling on Buffy's part that
he's not lying...

He resumed his pace down the row, peering into the first crypt on his left...

"It was more than a vague feeling, Xander...You saw her at the house last
night...No matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise...She believes
him..."

And she's had a connection to him since he came to this town...Especially after
last year...

"And he's taken every advantage of it he could...An, he tried to rape her..."

"She said he stopped...And left...When he realized she meant no...And
"tried"?...What pure monster would "try" to rape an injured Slayer?..." she
noted...

Wrong...Sure...But a wrong any human might commit...Xander, this is a vampire
who passed up a chance to kill his worst enemy when she was at his mercy...

And it was only after she pushed him away after being his lover for most of a
year...

A year he spent time and time again trying to help her...She admitted that...In
fact, it was more like she was pleading his case to us...

"Xander...Can you see Angelus doing something like that?...Or any vamp you've
ever run into...?"

Answer me this...she paused...

"Why did you and Giles let him stay around Dawn after Buffy died...?"

"That was different...I told Buffy...We never forgot who or what he was..."

But you trusted him enough to take a risk, right?...You left Dawn with him,
alone...Time after time...

All because you knew he loved Buffy...And wouldn't risk losing the chance of
seeing her soul again...Someday, somehow...

He stopped...

"Giles..." he paused...

"Giles felt sorry for him after...Glory and all...When he cried for her..."

He told me...It was impossible...It couldn't be that a vampire demon could cry
for a human...

Even the chip couldn't explain it...

There had to be...Something different at work here...

"Maybe...Even..."

Anya eyed him...

Sometimes...Giles told me...Sometimes the soul can fight its way back...For a
moment...Say a mother killing herself just after transformation to save the
kids...Or a lover just as they transform...

It's rare but...

But it's never happened to a century-plus old vamp...Not without magical
aid...Like Angel's curse...Or an extra soul, like with Darla...

"Maybe...The chip gave William a window back into Spike..." Anya noted...

Just enough to let him love Buffy...Sense Cicely in her...And now, if this
African story is true...

Xander shook his head...But...

"Xander, let me speak to him...If I sense only Spike in there...I'll gladly
help you stake him...But, if there's any chance this story's true..."

He looked down, nodding...But...

"An...? If it is true...The whole deal...Why?..."

Why would Buffy...er this...Cicely?...Have driven him to Drusilla...?

"I can't...I won't believe the Buffy I know could be that cruel...Even in
another life..."

Maybe there was a reason...she noted...

But first things first...Xander...she took his hand...

"Let me try...Please..."

He closed his eyes, leaning against a stone...And opened them...

"When Buffy was invisible..." he began...

I went to Spike's old place...Trying to find her...

She was there...I knew it, but I wouldn't let myself believe it...

She was all over him...Invisibly...

Happy to be with him...Hiding there from the rest of us...

And he covered for her...Never said a word...Not one gloat...

I blocked it out for weeks afterward...And since...
Especially since...You know...We found out...

"I've told myself...It was the dying thing..."

Spike was dead...She'd been dead...She needed to find her way back...

And if she had to use him to come back to us at last...Well, ok...I could
accept it...

Temporarily...

"But the thought...That she might...That this connection...Might last..."

I'd have rather seen her dead in the ground again...he nodded...

"He was there for her, you're right...We weren't...All this year...We dragged
her back to save us...And couldn't help her...Couldn't even reach her...And the
only one who could...Was a monster..."

And the worst of it is...he looked down...

I knew what was happening...And I went along with it...Hell, it was so much
easier to sit back and let her slide downhill...She was here, after
all...That's all we needed...The Slayer to save us...If she got involved with
Spike, well...Heck, her problem...I had my own troubles, right?...

"Until I saw you with him...And it became my problem..."

Could it be true?...he stared at her...

Could Buffy be this Cicely?...Could Will have been...Be...Hers...?

"Slayers do reincarnate more than most folks..." Anya sighed...

Short lifespans, lots of unfinished business...

"Wish me to find him..." she stared at him...

But leave him to me...For now...

He paused...And nodded...

I wish...You'd find him...he told her...

And see if this damned story is true or no...

"Back soon..." she kissed him...
And vanished...As he sighed and continued his walk...

Hell, a pretty place for a daytime walk...He never got to see these places by
day...

Besides...If he caught one vamp in its crypt by day...It was worth losing a
vacation day...

***

"So..." the principal beamed...Waving Buffy into the small room...

This will be your office...

Along with the other three work-study councilors, of course...he noted...

Right...she smiled...Four of us...In this room...

She looked around...Two desks, stuffed into the two ends of the room, barely
leaving room for three chairs...

"Guess we gotta come up with one more chair for you guys..." the principal
smiled...

But hey, you'll all be much too busy to hang around here anyway...

"Well...Have a seat...And let me get you the counselor's manual..." the
principal beamed again...

Hmmn...Right, Buffy nodded brightly...Eyeing the peeling paint on one wall as
she took a seat...

Geesh...Isn't this a brand new school building...? Built by our Xander no
less?...

Still...Hellmouth...And school building...Peeling paint just kinda goes hand in
hand...

Well, Xander did warn me never to buy more real estate in Sunnydale...

God...Why did Mom and Dad hafta buy in Sunnydale proper?...Why not good ole
Crestwood...It's just five miles away...With normal Californian property
values...And no Hellmouth...

I coulda commuted...Patrolled, saved the world, died and resurrected...And
retained equity in my house...

"Here you go..." the principal smiled...Hefting a huge loose-leaf book to the
desk in front of her...

Volume one...he noted...

I'll have Ms. Finders bring you the other five...

Great...Buffy nodded...

And...He pulled up a large box of files...

Here's your first case...

"This is...One case?..." she stared at the box...

He's had a few difficulties in junior high...the principal noted...

Read it through carefully...You see Jorge at nine-thirty...

"But...It's nine now..." she eyed the huge file...

Well...Just skim over the important papers for the first appointment...he
smiled...

"After all...You'll be seeing a lot of Jorge..."

Right...Buffy smiled frozenly...Blinking a bit...

***

Deathwishes...Part V...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Part V...


***
Nice plaques...Anya noted...Eyeing the various tributes in bronze to fallen family members...

She stood facing a sitting William...Who on her appearance had come out of the strange depression
that seemed to grip him long enough to offer her a cushion for slab sitting and a glass of slightly
warm...New fridge not yet acquired, he'd noted apologetically...Soda...Then resumed his seat and
stare...

"Spike...?" she asked hesitantly...

Please...Do not call me that...he eyed her...

"Sorry...Will?..." she paused... "You do remember me, right?..." He'd clearly been startled when
she'd materialized but he'd seemed to recognize her...

Anya...Vengeance demon of late...Harris' little...

Love Bunny...he grinned at her for the first time...

A boy's sweet grin...One she'd seen on his face only a few times...Including the time...

"Will...I realize this has been hard for you...But..." she couldn't help tapping her hands together in
excitement...This was just too great...

"You've got your soul back...This is wonderful..."

Yeah?...he sighed at her...

I see Humanity didn't work out too well for you, dear heart...he noted, eyeing her...

"That was different..." she paused...

And well...Things aren't settled yet...

Not for me either...he noted quietly, looking away...

***

So...Buffy eyed Jorge, now sitting cramped in one of the three room chairs against the opposite
desk...Her nine-thirty...

A large, somewhat hulking young sophomore of sullen aspect...

"You're Jorge?..."

"Brilliant..." he sneered at her...

You get all that by reading my file?...he eyed the huge, half-exploded file on her desk...Well,
partially her desk...

"I'm Ms. Summers..." she smiled at him...Looking him over...

Unpressed clothes, obviously much washed...Unkempt hair...Bad skin...

He slouched as best he could in the tight chair, crushed against the desk...And gave her a similar
once-over...

"I see from your file you had some trouble last year..." she noted...

Really?...he looked at the ceiling...

"Quite a lot of trouble..."

My, my...he sighed...

"But what surprised me is..." she paused...

"You made it to sophomore..."

How'd you manage that...? she eyed him...

With this record?...she glanced at the file...

He leaned forward, grinned, and motioned her over for a whisper...

"Screwed my guidance counselor..."

He sat back and started a laugh...As she caught him with a glare...That somehow made him pull up
short on the hee-haw...

"It says you're good with computers and math...That you got by in part thanks to your "outstanding
ability" in both..." she noted...

Are you any good?...she looked at him...

"Lady...I'm so good...In ten years you'll be begging for a crack at me..." he grinned...

You still gotta have that ole college diploma, Jorge...she smiled...

Microsoft and Sun don't take dropouts...

He gave another sullen glance...Still, not bad he had to admit...A definite improvement over last
year's...

"Wanta prove to me you're as good as you think you are...?" she eyed him...

There's a computer free down the hall in the library...And I have something special I wanted to
check on the Net...

"You get it for me...And today's session continues with you using the computer on your own for the
rest of the hour..." she smiled at him...

***
Will?...Anya stared at him...

"You must realize...This changes everything...You have your life back..."

He glared up at her from his seat...

"I'm living in a crypt...I can't even go out that door...!" he cried, pointing to the entrance...

I'm dead, you silly fool...!

Dead...And a mass murderer...he put his head in his hands...

"But then..." he raised his head and eyed her...

Maybe you could give me some pointers on dealing with that...

***
Deathwishes...Part VI...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...

Part VI...

Willow sat across from Giles at the table where they sat at the restaurant of the inn they'd
chosen...In a town as to near the Council's...The Royal Council of Librarians and Library Scientists,
known as the Council of Watchers to those in the know...archives building as they dared...

He was intently pouring over additional notes and records...Mostly lent to him at great personal...Or
at least professional...risk by several old friends...All with long-standing favors called in...

He paused to look over at her...Her own pile of documents in front of her...On which, until a
moment ago, she'd likewise been working steadily...

"Anything wrong, my dear?..." he looked at her...
No...she shook her head...

Well...she immediately and sheepishly reversed herself...As he eyed her kindly...

"It's just...Giles...? All this time...?...We've been helping the Council do its dirty work?..."

At least the 1880 Council...she hastily noted...

"Keeping Buffy and Will apart...Maybe permanently if we'd destroyed him...And all the time...?"

We didn't know Willow...And William was in no condition to be reunited with Cicely...or Buffy...he
sighed...

"But all these years..." Willow was near tears as she rescanned the batch of old letters...From
William Soames Walthrop to his Cicely...Fragments of Cicely's personal journal...And notes taken
on her by her own Watcher...Who had betrayed her in the end...

"Will's soul has been fighting to reach her...Hanging on, somehow...And none of us ever tried..."

There was no way to know that Willow...Giles patted her hand...

Giles...Willow shook her head...

"I knew he was different...Almost from the start...And after the chip..."

It was Amy all over again...I never made any real effort to help her until Tara left me and I was
bored...

"I could have...I should have tried to save him...At least last summer...After all he did for Buffy and
Dawn..."

But I was too busy...Trying to pull off my little resurrection stunt...she looked away, sadly...

"Willow...None of us tried to help William...Even after he tried to save Buffy...It never even
occurred to us...So long as he wasn't a threat, we were all content to leave him as he was..."

But then...he went on...None of us ever tried to go beyond the curse for Angel...

"It has been a busy past couple of years, my dear..." he smiled, shaking his head...

And, honestly...How could we have guessed at this?...he indicated the two piles of notes and
documents...

The Council could've...Willow noted bitterly...Some of them, I mean...she corrected hastily...

But the ones who knew must've been terrified of her finding out...Especially after she got so far
beyond them...Even beat a God...
Well...god...she grinned wanly at Giles...

Joke's on them...Unlike her insane little best friend, Buffy would've...Will...Probably thank them for
any info they gave her...

Poor Buffy...Poor Cicely...she rubbed her face...Poor, poor Will...

God I thought Tara and I had it rough...she grinned though her tears...

"She didn't come back just because I called her...Or for us...Did she, Giles...?" Willow looked at
him...

"When I came...Home..." Giles paused...

To save me...Willow added, gently taking his hand in hers...

"Buffy asked me...Why had she come back?...She felt there had to be a reason...Beyond just being
there to protect Humanity...And Dawn...And all of us..." he put his chin on his folded hands...

She'd left someone behind...Willow noted...

The someone she'd reincarnated after a century to find...

"No wonder she was attracted to Angel..."

Cicely within was expecting to find a soul in or hovering around her vampire...she shook her head...

"Poor Angel...Just a case of mistaken identity..."

"On his part as well, my dear..." Giles noted...

Yeah...Willow nodded...Well...Buffy had blonde hair...And a noble soul...

Like his Darla...The human Darla the poor guy's searched for...At least subconsciously...All his
existence...

Sure explains the brood...she grinned...

And why he never pushed to stay with Buffy...I never could quite buy all those different
excuses...she eyed Giles...

"I think Will would have chosen to stay with her...Even without sex..." she grinned... "And even if it
meant the Apocalypse began tomorrow..." she sighed...

Hell, he did choose to stay around...And has paid for it, watching Spike kill for a century...

"The demon god must have sensed William's presence...Influencing...Hovering...When he restored
him..." Giles nodded...

"But...Why, Giles?...." Willow looked at Cicely's few surviving papers...

We saw her last letter to him...She loved him...Hell, if all's true, she's moved Heaven and Earth to
find him...Almost literally...

Why did she agree to send him away?...

"Her Watcher...Farris...Was a clever and diabolical man..." Giles noted...

Bent on gaining power...World power...

And patient enough to lurk in the shadows...Quietly preparing his way to the Chairmanship...For
years...

"And Cicely Addams was his prime tool..."

Somehow...Someway...Giles pondered...He tricked her into believing Will would be safer away
from her...

Oh...God...Willow stared at him...As he blinked back...Both realizing...

Drusilla...

"That bastard had Drusilla waiting for him..." Willow shook her head...

***

"This is what you wanted?..." Jorge eyed the screen of the library computer, having called Buffy
over...

This creep's picture...? he sneered at the image of a young, rather nervously solemn-looking
William Soames Walthrop staring out at them...

Old class photographs from Cambridge University...Circa 1880...

Will...she touched the screen gently...

So...she smiled to herself...It's true...

He really was a Cambridge man...

"What...? He your great-great something or other...?" the boy eyed her...

Staring a bit at the tear running down her face...

"You...Ok?..." he hesitated...

Yeah...she grinned...

Oh, yeah...she wiped the tears...

Ummn...How's about one more search?...she eyed him...

A girl this time...

A Ms. Cicely Addams...Same year...Also English...

"You could try Cicely Addams Walthrop as well..." she looked at the screen...

***

Deathwishes...Part VII...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 1
first to be sure...

Unless of course Uncle Joss...er, Mr. Whedon...Does use my Cicely-Buffy story line...

(Guess that makes 5 stories I'd have to change Cicely to Cecily in...Or is it 6, now?)


Part VII...

"So here I am..." William eyed Anya as they sat in his new crypt...

Soul boy...

40,000 plus murders to my credit...

"And...Best of all...It was the woman I loved who put me here..." he smiled at her...

Who came back...To play with me some more...
Will...Anya looked at him...

"I don't know Cicely...I don't why she did what she did..."

But I know Buffy Summers...

"She loves you, Will..."

Ah...he grinned coldly at her...

"She tell you that, eh?..."

"She didn't have to...Will...If you had seen her last night...Talking about you and what happened
for hours, calling Giles frantically at one am...Well, our time..."

"Well..." he eyed her...

"She told me she loved me in 1880 too..."

"You were...Married...?"

That's the usual reason a woman takes a man's name, dear heart...he nodded...

"An unfortunate mistake on her part, I guess...Which she rectified almost immediately...With a little
help from poor ole Dru..."

He eyed her...Grinning coldly again...

She always did seem to go easy with my poor lamb...Gratitude, you think?...

Anya shook her head...Will...

"I loved her again as soon as the chip let me..." he paused...

I tried to save her...To be a man for her...

And did she see me?...Try to help me?...

"Will...She didn't know...She couldn't know..."

He looked at the plaques on the crypt wall...Beloved husband, beloved wife...

"In 1880 she used me...And when she was bored with me, sent me off..."

2002...Repeat process...

"Of course..." he smiled bitterly...
Barely restrained demonic killer is a better excuse than bad poet/poor man...

"We don't know why she sent you away Will..." Anya hesitated...

What to say...Hell, from his pov he has excellent reasons to call on my services...

"Giles has been checking out your Cicely story... He called with some information this morning...He
and Willow are...Or were...headed out to the Watchers' archives to get more..."

He looked at her carefully...Nodding...

The bloody Watchers' Council...? He thought...

And...? he asked, as casually as a human William-souled William the Bloody could...

"She was a Slayer, Will...A great one..."

He blinked at her...A Slayer?...

Well, it did make sense at that...

"Right..." he agreed coolly...

No wonder she wanted me out of her way...A bloody awful poet with no money is sure to put a
crimp in a wealthy Slayer's style...

***

The tall, brown-haired...And quite elegantly dressed young man led William...Wearing his one
barely passable grey suit...Over to the young woman waiting by the stairs...Smiling warmly at
them...

Well, at good ole Henry, William thought...

As he gazed upon the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his largely miserable 21-odd years...

"And this..." Henry Foxcroft beamed at his young friend...

"Is my cousin...Miss Cicely Addams..."

He stared at her a moment, blinking, almost forgetting to take her outstretched hand...Offered
somewhat less daintily than most of old Henry's female friends, he noted...

"Mr. William Soames Walthrop..." Henry smiled...

She stared at him...

"Mr. Walthrop?...Is something wrong?..."

Henry had warned her of his friend's slight discomfort in the social arena...Still...She hadn't
expected...

Was he crying?...

But...Yes, the poor boy had lost someone...His mother, yes...Recently...she remembered...

Ummn...he wiped back the tear that had spilled out of one eye...

"Some smoke or something in my eye..." he explained...

Sorry...

"Not at all..." she shook her head...

Anya looked at William...As a tear ran down his face...

"I cried..." he paused, staring at the wall...

She was so beautiful...And I was just poor Caliban...Crying to dream again...

***

"Well, ok..." Buffy smiled at Jorge, as they sat, back in her office...

"You are pretty good...So what the hell are you wasting your chances for...?"

You anxious to wind up at Doublemeat Palace for the balance of your working life?...she frowned...

I can tell you, kid...That glamourous life you see going on behind the counter is just a facade...

He looked away...Rolling his eyes...

Then back...Unable to resist...

"How come you wanted all that stuff?..."

"Come back on time next week and I might tell you..." she grinned...

***

Dawn eyed her sis...Off in another world...

Geesh...she stared at her tray...

On the first day of high school...I put any potential social life in the toilet by eating lunch with her in
this locker of an office...And this is the thanks I get...

"Hear anything from Giles yet?..." she tried, brightly...

Unt-uh...Buffy shook her head...

Not since this morning...

Hmmn...

"How's about Anya...?"

Not at the shop...Buffy replied briefly...Her mind elsewhere...

She stared at a couple of papers...Printouts from Jorge's searches...

"Records of our most wanted...?" Dawn grinned, trying to look from where she sat...

Unt-uh...

"Well..." she paused...

"I'm off to a good start...Homeroom teacher stripped naked and danced to "If You Want My
Body..." first period..."

Uh-huh...

"Then I got killed by a vamp who must've slipped into the building last night...I just transformed by
the way..."

"I thought you looked pale..." Buffy grinned at her a moment...

Sorry...she shook her head...And eyed her carefully...

"Dawn...I did some checking..."

There was a Cicely Addams...

She died as Cicely Addams Walthrop...In London...In 1880...

"And..." she pushed the printout of Will's class picture over...

There was a William Soames Walthrop...Cambridge University student...

Dawn blinked, staring at the printout...The solemn, nervous, but somehow even in that sea of
confident, arrogant young British overlords of the Earth, outstanding...face of Will looking back in
his best suit...

It's the kindness...In the eyes...she thought...And suddenly realized Buffy had just spoken the same
thought aloud...

'Course he also looked preety ridiculous in that crowd...With that suit and hair...she noted, smiling...

"He was very poor, Dawn..." Buffy said quietly...

It was a terrible struggle for him to get so far...You can't imagine what poverty was like back then...

Dawn stared...

Buffy nodded...Yeah...

"I'm beginning to remember..."

***
"Miss Addams..." the slender young man nodded at her...An annoyed look on his face...

William...? Yes, that was it...William...

She frowned a bit...The household footmen Smike and Squears who had been lounging out on the
back portico with Henry's "friend" eyed her...She repeated a thinly veiled "suggestion" that they
resume their duties...

The two got up...Smike in an especially impudent mood...

"Well...Be seeing you, mate...Maybe we'll stop by at that..." Smike cast a brief leer at Miss
Addams...

"480 Merriweather St...Thursday night at eight..." Walthrop replied...

See you there mates...

The two sauntered back inside...Cicely glared at them...

She'd also caught the tail end of Mr. Walthrop's little performance...As she had come in to see about
Henry's little guest...And where those two lazy oafs had gotten off to...

As the strutting Miss Addams...

Regally bowing to all and sundry as she made her little procession...Accepting the natural adoration
of her male peers...Awaiting the doffing of caps and the bowing and scraping of her inferiors...

"Ah...Mr...er...Pardonnez-moi while my maid fetches my opera glasses so I might have a look at
you...Ah...yes..." In high falsetto voice Walthrop had thrown his head back and looked down his
nose...A rather good imitation at that... "Mr....Wal...trop?..."

Much to Smike and Squears' amusement, obviously...

She turned back to little Walthrop...Barely taller than she, she amusedly noted...

If rather beautiful eyes...Staring deep into one...

The people cousin Henry takes under his wing...Still...dear Henry did admire the little...

A bit of a rough diamond he'd called him...But...A true and worthy friend...With a bright future...

And anyone admired by Henry Alexander Foxcroft was usually worthy...she had to admit...

"Fomenting revolution in our household, Mr....Walthrop?..." she unconsciously had thrown her
head back and looked down her nose at him...

"We were just talking, Miss Addams...I wanted to hear about their lives..."

"And encourage them to attend some meeting of radicals?..."

He eyed her...Truculent but a bit off balance...Had she heard his little performance?....

Hardly radicals, Miss Addams...Just a meeting of students, thinkers, and workingmen and -women...

"Socialists?...Communists?...Or just Anarchists?..." she smiled at him...

Amazed she knew there was a difference he thought, looking at her sourly...

"Even the dogs in the street have a right to meet occasionally Miss Addams...And try to better their
lives a little..." he replied coldly...

"I see...And is making fun of us...My cousin who's been so kind to you...And me...In front of our
staff...Another right of the "dogs in the street"...?" she asked...Sweetly...Turning to glaring stone at
the end...

Self-righteous little...If I could have him on the receiving end of my stake one night for thirty
seconds...she thought...I'd teach him a lesson or two about making snap judgments of people...

Quite a glare there...Walthrop noted to himself...

But was angry in a moment...Thankfully angry...Considering how she'd thrown him off balance,
putting him in the wrong...

Not to mention...Well...He still wasn't used to dealing with women like this...

Especially wondrously beautiful women like this...
"I wasn't making fun of...Your cousin..." Walthrop paused...Eyeing her...

Henry is my friend...I don't make fun of my friends...Even if they are rather of the "toff"
persuasion...

He's a good sort...And can't help the inbred toff in his bones...

"I see..." she eyed him coldly...So...

"Miss Summers...?"

And Miss Summers...? the principal smiled at them...Leaning into the office...

"Miss Summers...Your 12:15 is waiting for you in classroom 113...I understand she breaks things
when people let her down..."

"Dawn...Aren't you due back in homeroom now?..." he eyed her...

That was just about all I remembered of it for now anyway...I'll tell you more later...Buffy hissed as
they hurried out...

"Do so, Miss Addams..." Dawn hissed back, in a rather good high-pitched British accent...

***

Deathwishes...Part VIII...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 1
first to be sure...

Unless of course Uncle Joss...er, Mr. Whedon...Does use my Cicely-Buffy story line...

(Guess that makes 5 stories I'd have to change Cicely to Cecily in...Or is it 6, now?)

Part VIII...

"So...?" Warren eyed Amy...
Sitting in the living room of her new apartment, rented after she'd recovered what little she could
from what her mother had left her, following three years of her few remaining family members'
grabbing what they could...

All of whom had made themselves unavailable...Distant and forgotten aunts, uncles, and cousins for
the most part anyway...With the exception of her father who'd likewise preferred to remain
incommunicado...After securing his share, of course...

She stood, regarding him...He'd lost weight in the past months on the lam...Not surprising...

Hard to stop and sit down to a meal with the thought of avenging super-Willow on your tail...

"Want something to eat?..." she asked...Coolly but just the faintest hint...Of eagerness...

First date in three years, four months...First person over since she got the place...

"Yeah...Sure...But, can we dispense with the pleasantries and get down to business?..." he frowned...

I still think this was a crazy idea...Bringing me back to Sunnydale...

"Willow's friends are here...The Hellmouth is here..." Amy noted...

Your "nemesis" Buffy is here...she grinned...

"I've moved on, lady..." Warren sighed...

I got more important matters on my mind these days...

Namely...Not meeting my "nemesis" or her insane friend ever again...

"Willow will find out you're alive one of these days..." Amy pointed out...

She'll feel it...And even though she's gotten herself back under control...She and the others won't
stop until you're in prison, at the very least...

"The only way for you to be safe...Is to help me destroy them all..."

So...? he glared at her...

"Destroy them...All...Already..."

Cast a spell and put 'em six feet under...End of story...

"I'm not quite that good...And they've got some protections...Besides Willow would sense an attack
like that...She'd target in on us in a moment..."

No...Amy shook her head...We've gotta do this the non-magics way...At least non-direct magics
way...And use others who can't be traced to us...

"Oh...And after six years of trying to kill the Slayer and her little friends in every possible
way...Someone is just gonna accept our offer and take them out...Without implicating us..."

Not any someone...Amy smiled...Coldly...

Buffy is going to do it...

Warren blinked at her...Buffy?...

A buzzer went off...

"My chicken...Grab a chair and I'll bring the things over..."

Warren...she smiled...

A leetle nervously now...First date in so long, after all...
***

"Look...er Will..." Xander paused, eyeing the vampire as he paced the ground level of his new
crypt...

Anya off to the Magic Box to collect what she could to help make the place somewhat livable...

"I realize you've had some tough breaks...But...You've gotta try and deal..."

Will stopped and stared at him...

"Didn't you come out here to kill me, Harris?..."

Spike...Xander replied...

I came looking for Spike...

Probably to try and kill him...he agreed...Definitely to drive him away...

"And on dear Anya's say-so...You're ready to chance that I'm telling the truth?..."

I did...I would...Xander nodded...

"But I also have confirmation from Giles and Willow in England thanks to An's call from the
shop..."

And I'm not in the habit of killing the human-souled...Even vamps...

"At least not when I've given my promise not to...To the vengeance demon I love..."
"Jesus...?...How did I manage to fail against you idiots all these years?..." Will angrily shook his
head...

I'd guess...Xander sighed a moment, then smiled...You didn't fail, William...

"Probably you're the reason Buffy didn't die last year when Spike could've taken her...And why
Spike never took Dawny...Or Joyce..."

Will glared at him...And continued his pace for a moment...Then halted by a plaque dedicated to
someone's century dead infant son...

"Don't sentimentalize me, Harris...I did nothing...I never stopped Spike from killing...Not once..."
he stared at a grim and blank crypt wall...

Not one bloody f-ing time...he sighed...Putting his head against the wall...

No...Xander agreed...

You couldn't ...Will...No one could stop their demon...

I couldn't even slow my jackal spirit down...

"But somehow you gave Spike a human edge...Made him care about the world...About Joyce and
Dawn...And when the chip appeared..."

Well...he grinned...

Lets just say...I never saw Angelus ever care about any human...Outside of wondering how they'd
hold up under his torments...

"Believe me, Will..." Xander eyed him...

I am not crazy about this changed situation...

It was a hell of a lot easier this morning when all I had on my plate was to get rid of you...One way
or another...

And all this...Cicely business...Does not help...

"But we're stuck...And a lot of moaning isn't gonna change things..."

"Spike isn't dead, Xander..." Will noted...

He's right here...Waiting in me...Hoping for his chance...

"Really?..." Xander grinned...

"Well, then...Welcome to Humanity, Will Walthrop..."

Will...he gestured with his hands in front of him...If all this is true...You fought Spike for a
century...Without help, alone...

I'm no expert...But I know...This does not happen often...If ever...Unless a gypsy curse or a fiendish
LA law firm or maybe a power-crazed Wiccan is involved...

"You forgot a power-crazed division of the US government..." Will grinned wanly a mo...

Nah...You had their help...Xander grinned back...

But...

"Are you gonna give up now?...When you've won?...Beaten him back?...Maybe for good if you can
hold out..."

When you have us...And...

Cicely, maybe...To help you...?

"Jesus, Harris...Is this how you stopped Red?...A football pep talk?..."

"Well...Like hell am I gonna tell you I'll still love you no matter what you did..." Xander smiled...

I'll leave that for (Well, first goddamned time for everything, he thought, sighing...)...

Your wife...

William stared at him...

And Will...?

"I still will kill you if you hurt her..."

Anya materialized...Bearing a box...

She looked at the two...Will looking at Xander oddly...

"Is everything...Ok?..." she asked anxiously...

Yeah...Xander nodded...

"I've just been spelling out the ground rules for him..." he noted...

Xander...Anya looked at him...

No, no...Will patted her shoulder...

"It's what a good brother-in-law does, dear heart..." he grinned over at a suddenly blinking Xander...

***

"Of course...You shouldn't get any ideas from this..." Amy eyed Warren...

Right...he nodded...

I'm lonely...Not crazy...she noted...

Rolling over to eye him carefully as they lay in bed...

Absolutely...he agreed...

"And I've protected myself...In case you get any ideas about playing with my mind...No love
spell...Or "cerebral depressor" is gonna work on me, Mears..."

Hey...If you weren't any good at magics...I'd be fried muscle boy right now...he grinned at her...

Daddy has still got it...He thought...

Nothing I like better than a really needy type...A beautiful needy type...

A powerful, beautiful needy type...

Still...It was...Nice...

Like when things with Kat started out...

Before Buffy ruined everything, butting in...

Hmmn...Buffy...?

"Before...Things moved along...?" he eyed Amy...

You said...Buffy would take care of her friends for us...

"Yeah..." Amy nodded...

"Well...?" he looked at her...

Warren...she sighed...

Buffy Summers is a Vampire Slayer...A great one...

But even the greatest Slayer is bound to have one bad day...

"And all we gotta do...Is ensure that she has a very bad day..."

And never knows we were the cause...

***

Deathwishes...Part IX...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 1
first to be sure...

Part IX...

Cicely frowned and looked at the little Mr. Walthrop...Back again for another round...

Under his usual guise of an engagement with dear Henry...

But who had now decided to terminate today's increasingly angry discussion...

She having accused him of being a rather classic example of a self-righteous, self-proclaimed
working class hero...

An intellectual snot...Who'd probably never seen the inside of a factory...Walthrop choking,
remembering his years slaving in the Brusset bottle works...

While he had noted her unfortunate "priggish" tendencies...Questioning as to whether she had ever
known anyone or thing outside her little circle of fellow prigs...

A conversation she was as always...Rather enjoying...

"My cousin will be expecting to find you here, Mr. Walthrop..." she glared at him...

Oh...Don't go...she thought...

You ungrateful little...

"Please tell Henry I'll be back later..." he stubbornly replied...Turning away from her...And moving
rather swiftly to the door of the back garden...

"Where are you going?...Henry will be coming in a few moments..." she called...

Uhhh...He mumbled, fumbling with the door...

"Mr. Walthrop!!...Stop!!..." Cicely cried to him in a startlingly loud voice...

He halted, staring back at her...

"I am talking to you!...Where...Are...You...Going?!..."

In five words or less...Sir...she frowned...

Five words, eh...? Walthrop glared back...

"Out...For...A ...." he began...

Dawn blinked at her sis...As they walked toward the Magic Box...Where, hopefully, new info from
England awaited them...

"What did you...er Cicely...Do?..."

I think I leapt across the garden and hit him so hard he nearly flew out of his shoes...Buffy
pondered...

"It's still all a little hazy..."

Guess it's no wonder now why my little debates with Spike always seemed so familiar...she
sheepishly noted...

***
"I can't say I think much of this idea, Warren..." Amy sighed at her partner as they stood outside
one of Sunnydale's most notorious demon-frequented bars...Fortunately, far from the areas the
Slayer and co normally ventured in daytime...

We need back-up, right?...he eyed her...

Demons hate the Slayer, right?...

Logic therefore dictates...

"I may not be able to protect us..." she noted...

If "logic" fails to work with them...
"Trust me, bab...er Amy..." he corrected hastily...

I've dealt with these types many a time...

Right...Amy rolled her eyes...

But followed him in...

It was a little brave of him she couldn't help noting to herself...

All she had now, after all...

***

"Can't we just send this stuff to Buffy...?" Willow eyed Giles...As they sat in at the Heathrow
airport terminal...Her carefully packed box of Cicely letters and journals beside her...

I'm not sure if I'm ready to face the guys...she noted sadly...

Or leave you...she did not say, staring at him...

"Willow, wherever the information here is to lead Buffy...Whether to her past, to her William. or
wherever it takes...Eventually she is going to need her best friend to help her deal with the
consequences of facing Cicely..."

She'll need her Watcher more than her...Former...Best friend...Willow sighed...

"If Buffy needs my help, I'm always here for her..."

And for you, my girl...he patted her...

"But this is something you must face on your own...Just as she essentially must face Cicely,
William, and the past on her own..."

All we can do is be ready to help...And you are the one who lives in Sunnydale...Who has a life there
to return to...

"Even if Buffy and the others can't accept you back in the old way, Willow...Your life is there...And
you have a family waiting for you...Though you may have nearly forgotten them in the last couple
of years..." he smiled...

"I do miss my parents...I haven't been much of a daughter these past few..." she noted, nodding...

Guess I got a lot of fence mending to do all around...she sighed...

Well...You know what they say, Willow...Giles smiled gently...

"Home is the place where when you come...They have to take you in..."

"I love you, Rupert..." she hugged him...

And pulled back to eye him firmly...

I don't mean...Little Willow loves her teacher...

"I know that..." Giles nodded...

And all the better reason for you to go home...And work things out...

"But...Will you think of me?..." she pleaded...Taking his hands...

Not as another daughter...Like Buf...

"I will think of you...Every day, my Willow..." he kissed her gently...

But this is something for us to discuss later...Much later, when you have your life put to rights...

Yeah...she sighed, nodding...And grinned an old Willowian grin...

"Buffy and Will...Married...I still can't believe it Giles..."

Well...Cicely may have been a very different person than our Buffy, my dear...

"Best to bear that in mind...Especially as Cicely surfaces in her..."

"I will...Goodbye...Rupert..." she kissed him and headed off to her gate...

"Not that much later...!..." she called, halting just before the security barrier...

He stared carefully back, waving...
***

"So fellas...That's the deal...We...My Wiccan friend and I...Are taking on the Slayer..." Warren
announced...

And we're here to offer you the chance for a crack at revenge...

The chance to make her...One of your own...

"So..." he eyed the group...A motley crew of the dregs of demonkind at the best of times...And these
were not the best of times...

Who's with us...

"F-you, human..." one hog-faced demon called...

"Take the witch, eat the little bastard..." another called...

Ummn...Warren nervously grinned at the demons...

One...Now two...Rising ominously...

Amy moved into a protective position...Desperately running through every defense spell she could
think of...

But then...

Suddenly, bizarrely, Warren burst into song...Some kind of march, a startled Amy realized...

In German...Of a kind...With the words hideously mangled...But a few barely intelligible...

"Panzer...something, something...Panzer troops cutting through...Something, something..." he
banged his heels down hard on the floor as he sang, eyeing the group...

The demons stared for a moment at him and each other...Then, one fellow, far in the rear of the bar,
stood and joined in, filling in the German Warren was murdering...
Play

("Panzerlied..." translation, of course)...

"In blizzard or storm,
Or in sun warm and bright,
The day hot as hell
Or bone-chilling be the night,
Our faces may with dust be laid,
But spirits never fade,
No, never fade;
Relentless, our tank
Thunders out on a raid."

Others began rising, joining in...Banging horned heels on the floor...

"With engines a-howling,
Fast as is the wind,
We head for the foe,
Safe, as we're in armor skinned."

Soon the whole bar was on its feet...Including the few drunken humans...All singing and banging
heels in rhythm...More or less...

"Our comrades still behind us roam;
We fight the foe alone,
Yes, fight alone.
We stab through the line
To break the foes backbone.
(Oh, Ja!)
Whenever the foe
May appear in our sight,
We'll ram throttle full,
(several demons getting weepy)
Then we'll humble all his might!
Of what use is our life if we
Our country serve freely?
Yes, serve freely!
To die for our country,
Our honour shall be."

Yeah!!...Warren raised a fist...We're gonna take the bitch at last!...he called...And resumed his
song...Mostly mumbling now as the Germanic demon roared the lyrics...And the others joined in the
chorus...Shaking the whole building...

Amy stared...Holy...

"Warren?..." she hissed...

What the hell are you singing?...

God knows...he hissed back as he continued...Saw a Nazi colonel singing it when he wanted to rally
his troops in "Battle of the Bulge" last night on TV...

I figured...Couldn't hurt...Some of these guys must've been Nazis in their human lives...

"With tank traps and mines,
Our foe tries to impede.
We laugh at his ruses;
We know he'll not suceed.(She'll not!...Warren tries, catching a bit of the German...)
And when, in threat, his cannons stand,
Half hidden in the sand,
Yes, in the sand,
We can find our way
Over much safer land.

And should at long last,
Fickle Lady Luck leave,
And we remain here,
Leaving family to grieve,
A bullet with our name on it,(I still have mine...One fellow noted contentedly)
Find us and seal our fate,
Yes, seal our fate,
Our tank will our grave be
On that final date."
***

"Well, young man..." the older demon who'd been the first to join in his battle song came up...

That was very inspiring...Reminded me of the old days back with the 6th SSDeath's Head Brigade...

"But you're not gonna join up either...?" Warren sighed...

All the others having politely refused to sign on to the latest crazy "we're gonna get the Slayer"
scheme...Especially under human leadership...

Though they appreciated the little human fool's can-do attitude...And were behind him and his
magical friend 100%...In spirit...

Experience (especially the past six years) having provided them with a realistic pov when it came to
down to action...

"Well..." the tall and gnarled figure paused...Large scales on his cheeks moving to reveal oozing
glands with each breath...

Your idea has merit...To make the Slayer one of our own...

"But many have tried..."

Besides...he noted...Even if you succeed, a former Slayer is likely to be a very ambitious
vampire...With a will to rule over all of us...

"Can't say as that would necessarily be a major improvement in my existence..." he smiled...

She won't be hunting you anymore...Less you piss her off...Warren replied...

That's one hell of a big improvement...

"And my friend here..." he indicated Amy... "Will be able to keep her in line..."

Warren...? Amy stared...

All I said was...I think I can keep her from killing us...At least tone down our appeal as dinner
items...she thought...

The risks...For all of us...Will be minimal...Warren insisted...

"And with Buffy the Vampire on our side, Sunnydale will be at the mercy of anyone with the guts to
take it..."

Namely...Us...he waved to include Amy and their companion...

With plenty of rewards and goodies to distribute to all...

Gotta admit...He has ambition...Amy noted to herself, eyeing her partner...

The old demon eyed them...Well, hell...A boring existence these days anyway...And it was nice to
find someone with a little of that ole determined-to-get-the-Slayer spirit...

So many simply accepted the status quo these days...

And he could always eat them later if things went wrong...Maybe even if things went well...

"What would you need from me...And any friends I might persuade to join in one last campaign...?"

***

Deathwishes...Part X...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part X...

Thank God for teleportation...Anya noted as she returned once again to the shop...Just in time to
catch a couple of teenaged girls...Comez demons in disguise...Attempting to walk off with several
reasonably valuable items...

Not that I wouldn't trade it gladly she noted to herself...For good ole footpower...If Xander and I
ever straighten things out...

"Guys..." she assumed working face...

"Put 'em back..." she coldly ordered in a booming voice...

The demons eyed each other...And grumbling, returned the stolen bits...

Out...she pointed, again with booming voice...

Wow...A human customer, browsing, stared at her...

Neat...Can I get one of those morphing masks...?

"Sorry..." Anya, back to human face, sighed, reluctantly...

Specialized make-up technique...Not for sale...

She looked over at the chiming door...Buffy, with Dawn...

"Anya!..." Buffy called, waving...

She rushed over...At Slayer speed...Dawn staring...

Ummn...Buffy paused...Trying to recover a little poise...

"Any more news?...From England...?...Or..." she looked around the shop...Several humans...

"Anywhere?..."

Just a sec...Anya raised a hand, turning to answer a customer's question...

Not that she didn't still set a high priority on love of the true persuasion...But hey...Working here...

Buffy fidgeting...

Wait a minute...she looked round again...As Dawn came up...

"Where's Xander?..." she asked nervously...

Oh my God...Dawn thought...Looking for him as well...

Much as I don't want sis hurt again...

If by the slightest chance all of this crazy Cicely stuff is true...

And Will is my...(Gulp)...Can't say it, won't say it...Yet...

"Anya?..." Buffy pleaded...
***

"So...You stupid sot..." William eyed Xander as they stood, now on the lower level of the
crypt...Xander engaged in doing a little electrical work...

May as well try to do it according to code standards this time...Spike's old place had been an
electrical disaster waiting to happen...

"You still haven't patched up things with that poor kid yet?..."

"I'm working on it..." Xander replied...

Hell...Harris...

Xander glared at him...

"I don't need love advice from William the Bloody, even in human-souled form...thanks..."

Xander...A girl like Anya comes around once...Will grinned...

In a millennium...

"We're working on it...I'll deal with it..."

She...Will paused...Staring at him...

She's not evil, Harris...In fact, I've never seen a demon so unevil...

"I never said she was..." Xander focused on the wiring in front of him...

Let me work, Will...One thing An doesn't need is me...fried...

Much as she may have wished it the first coupla days...

Will frowned at him but held off pursuing the matter...

"Hand me that pair of pliers...The insulated one...Right..." Xander took the pliers and continued his
work...

"What happened, Will?" he asked...

William looked round...

"Not a thing so far...Should the telly be on?..."

I mean...Xander twisted a pair of wires together, straining a mo...

"Between you and Cicely..."

Ah...

"I met her...We fell in love, or so I thought...She asked me to marry her...She decided that was a
rippin' mistake...She chased me off..."

Why...? Xander looked at him...Pulling on several other wires...The tape there, please...

"God knows..." he passed the electrical tape over... "My looks...The bad poetry...My lack of the
social graces...The dire poverty..."

Maybe it was that time of the month...

Guess the real question was...Why did she marry me in the first place?...Will noted...

"She married you..." Xander eyed him thoughtfully...

Yeah...Happened a lot, actually...Even in my day...Just didn't get mentioned that often in the social
history books...

"She was a Slayer...Don't you think, well...She might have had a good reason?..."

As in...? She didn't want little Walthrop in her way?...Once she'd had a chance to think things
over...Will frowned...

"Walthrop?...That's your name?..."

William Soames Walthrop...Most pleased to meet you, sir...he nodded formally, grinning...

"I'm sorry..." Xander paused...

I should've asked before...

"I wasn't William Soames Walthrop before..." Will noted...

***

"You're sure...?" Buffy eyed Anya...Asking for the fourth time...

Dawn nervously in support...

He isn't going to hurt him, Buffy...He promised me...Anya replied...Looking reassuringly at both
sisters...

"And Alexander L. Harris is a man of his word..."

Outside lifelong commitments...she sadly noted...

"Well..." Buffy pondered...

"I should get over there in any case..."

Just to see if he needs anything...she hastily added...Noting Anya's slight glare at the potential
casting of aspersion on the value her ex?'s pledge...

"Buffy..." Dawn groaned...

You can't just go running over there...We can't be sure of him yet...
"Oh sure you can..." Anya shook her head...

I saw his soul just fine...And Giles confirmed that his African demon god was powerful enough to do
it...

"Plus he and Willow say the Cicely story is true...She definitely knew him as Walthrop, married
him...And was a Slayer..."

"We know..." Buffy nodded...As several new customers entered...Two demons among them, Anya
noted to herself...

We did some checking on the high school library computer...

Great...Anya smiled and turned to deal with her customers...

Demons...No doubt without cash she sighed inwardly...And with sticky fingers...

Especially this species...

"Anya...?" Buffy halted her...Grabbing at her right arm...

"You saw it?...His soul...?"

"Yeah..." she looked at Buffy's face...So many emotions flickering across...

It's a beautiful soul, Buffy...she smiled kindly...

"Yeah..." Buffy nodded... Glancing at Dawn...

It always was...

***

Amelia and Philip...William sighed...

"My brother and sister..." he shook his head, looking at Xander as they sat in the lower level of the
new crypt...

God...Xander, what happened to them after I died...? They had no one...he put his hands to his
forehead rubbing...Trying to hold back all the thoughts tearing at him...

"Thank God Mum died the year before...Thank God...If she had lived...And learned what had
happened..."

Xander stared at him...Is this the "thing" I've hated all these years...?

The monster I could see digging his claws into my Buffy's soul...My "sister" Buffy...
But even I had moments...When something he did...Something he said...Made him too human to
kill...

Almost a friend...Almost...

A brother-in-law?...

And all of it...Just the fragments of Will that got through...

But then...My "sis" would only have married someone special...

"I'm sorry Will...I wish I could say the right thing..."

He thought a moment...

"Maybe...Somehow we could check records from back then...See what happened..."

Willow could do it...When she gets home...

If she comes home...he thought...

Though...Sometimes...he paused...

"Sometimes it's best not to know..."

Will nodded...But...

"I have to know...What I left behind..."

***
Willow watched the clouds floating by as her plane cruised over the Atlantic...

All life...Giles had told her...On that day...That special day...When he'd told her the truth about what
had happened to Glory's human counterpart, Ben...And in showing her the darkness within him, had
showed her that the darkness could co-exist with the light...Even be controlled by the light and
enlisted for brief periods in its service...

All life has a deathwish wrapped inside...

It's inevitable after all...he'd told her...

All living things die...In time...

Even most Undead things cease to be...

And so...For all living things, all life...Especially intelligent, rational life...There is the temptation to
get it all...Over with...
To end the tedium...Or the torture...Or the sorrow and loneliness...And move on...To the Eternal,
hopefully...

And the harder the living...The stronger the wish...Or at least, the more the wish comes to the
surface...

Making it no wonder a demon run largely by instinct, like many vamps...Would generally be
inclined to accept and fight for its long existence...No or little ability to control its actions, no
responsibility...Easier existence...Weaker deathwish...

Whereas humans...Or human-souled creatures...Had the burden of responsibility for their
actions...And a stronger deathwish hidden within by consequence...

And the greater the scope for action...The greater the responsibility...The greater deathwish...

Angelus being the best example of all...Terrified by his years as Angel...The hideous burdens and
responsibility...He'd preferred to try and destroy the world rather than risk the chance of having to
one day resume those burdens...

The trick...Is to remember that death is...Usually, he'd smiled at her...

A one way ticket...With no travel reporting, no guidebook, no previews...And no known way to
change course once underway...

While life, however, hopeless it may seem...Offers an infinite diversity of possible options and
rewards...If one has the courage to take new paths...Or re-explore old ones...

And just as Buffy had slowly, painfully overcome her deathwish of the past year...Perhaps triggered
not so much by her own death and resurrection as by her despair and fear after her mother's death
and with the feeling of hardness she'd sensed overwhelming her before the Glory battle...So she,
Willow...And now newly souled William...Must overcome their natural deathwishes...And seek for
paths old and new that would keep the knowledge that life is a precious, transient wonder worth
experiencing before them...

We're so lucky...William and I...Willow thought...Each with a second chance at life...If we can bear
the burdens...

Are you there, my Tara?...she eyed the clouds...

Rest now...And I will see you again...I have that chance again as well, which I nearly threw
away...Thanks to Xander and Giles and Buffy...

But I will try life for now...And see what paths open for me...

After all, William endured a century of horror to begin finding his way home...The least I can do is
try...

***

Deathwishes...Part XI...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite
Slayer-girl...Who may shortly need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part XI...

Things are humming along...Warren noted happily to his Wiccan partner as they finalized their
plans for the coming rematch with his "nemesis" at Amy's apartment...

Or rather, as she did her research and he wandered about, trying to get his two cents' worth
in...Generally just getting in her way...

Something of a comedown for the former Fearless Leader of the Trio...

She regarded him dryly...Humming along?...

"Warren, sit down...I gotta concentrate on these protective spells...Unless you want Sunnydale's new
vamp queen to eat you first...?"

He frowned...Once I gave the orders, girly...he thought...

And one day...After we deal with the Slayer...

"You not happy with the current situation, Mearsy...?" she asked him quietly...

He stared at her...She eyed him coolly, clearly reading every thought...

Quite a girl, he found himself thinking...In spite of himself...

"Hey...I'm just trying to show a little enthusiasm for the operation, lady...That I'm with your
program...Whatever the hell it is, exactly..."

Lets not forget I was the one with doubts at first...he noted...Taking a seat...

And that I've gone along blind on most of this...

"In exchange for my saving your miserable life...And giving you some damned good sex..." she
replied...

And a preety nice chicken dinner...he grinned at her, catching her by surprise now...

She couldn't keep a smile off her face...For just a mo...Then wiped it...

"As for not letting you in on the details...You already know the basic plan...It's simple..."

We use your knowledge of Buffy and her habits on Patrol to give our friends a decent crack at her...

When the time is right...We intervene, staying hidden...To provide that bit of extra brain power the
vamps and demons here always seem to lack...

And Buffy finally has a very bad day...

Then, at the scene...While we wait for the new Buffy to wake up...We use my spells to protect
ourselves against her...

She does the rest...

"And later...When she's "done the rest"...Taken the others out...We step forward...And when she
realizes she can't harm us...New vamp Buffy will have to deal..." Warren nodded...

A whole new Trio...Definitely superior to the old from his pov...

Maybe she'll deal...Amy looked at him...

Maybe not...she looked away...

He blinked...

Maybe...Not?...

"Can't you make sure she's in a receptive frame of mind?...Hell, if I had my cerebral depressor
handy..."

This will be her demon, Warren...That toy won't work on her...At least not for long...

She'd just be that much more anxious to kill us...Even if she couldn't do it her own way...

"Kill us?...But you said..."

If my spells work...She won't be able to kill us the "normal" vamp way...Amy explained...

That doesn't mean she couldn't find a way...If she doesn't decide we're more useful to her alive...

He stared at her...What the hell are you getting me into?...his look clearly saying...

"Then...What's the point?...If we can't be sure she'll be on our side..."

The point...Amy patiently noted...Is that she'll take the others out...Without any track leading to us...

She'll kill her friends...Her little family...Maybe turn them as well...

And when Willow comes home...She will feel...What I felt...

Not just losing her honey this time...

Losing everyone she cares about...Losing all the things that made her Willow...Cause even if vamp
Buffy doesn't go after all of them herself, the survivors will all try to stop or save her...

Especially when we see that they learn what's happened to her...

"And she'll take Willow for us too, right?..." Warren asked nervously...

I don't know...Depends on how much Willow wants to die, really...Amy smiled at him...

Though you better pray she doesn't get turned and retains her magics ability...she noted...

"But...If Willow is so powerful...Won't she stop our little Queen of the Damned...? Before she starts
her killing spree...?"

"She might...If she were here...But she has to get here to be able to do that..."

And how do you know she isn't on her way right now?...Warren looked at her...

"She is on her way...Right now..." Amy grinned...

Jesus...he blinked at her...

"And you were gonna tell me...When?!..." he glared at her...Rising angrily...

Damn it!...he hollered...

"Do you know what she'll do to me if she catches me now?!!...And if she finds out what we're up
to...?!!"

She gave him a grim little smile...He clenched his fists...

"And if you think I'm gonna let her take me!!!...And not you too!!!..." he paused...

I know you'd turn me over to her in a second...Amy nodded...Still smiling...

He calmed down...Ok...Obviously she either had something else up her sleeve...

Or she was one crazy witch-bitch...

Probably both...he realized...

"So..." he sat down again...

"Are we just gonna go ahead...With super-witch on her way...?"

We're gonna go ahead...Amy nodded...But Willow is gonna be delayed...

"Oh..." he smiled a little, looking at her...

"So you have got something...?"

What did you do?...he grinned...

"Not a thing..." Amy beamed... "Outside keeping a listen on her phone calls and emails home to
friends and family..."

What...? the red started to color up his face again...

"Willow's mom...And Buffy's old Watcher did it for me...For us..."

He called her...Amy explained...And suggested she meet Willow in NYC...To give Mom and her
little girl a chance to catch up before her poor, troubled kid got back to the old college whirl and
all...

"Willow's such a fool to have thrown her mother away like she has, you know Warren...?" Amy
sighed...

I mean...A mom who loved her...And she's just ignored her...

It's a terrible thing to do...If you're lucky enough to have parents and family who love you...

I sure oughta know about that...she smiled wanly...

"But maybe they'll patch things up a bit while they're together in New York for a few days..."

Giving us our chance...If our new friends come through and we move quick...

He nodded...But...

"Lemme ask you something, Amy?..."
You don't expect to win this one, do you?...he eyed her...

I mean...Willow will come home with dear Mommie after her week in New York and find Buffy's
killed everyone she could get her little fangs into...

And Willow will stop her...And sooner or later, find us...

Amy smiled at him...Rising and moving over to a desk against the far wall...

"Well...Warren, with your skills, including that diplomatic nature of yours...I'm sure we'll form a
working unholy alliance with demon Buffy...And sweep all before us...Including Willow..."

But...If we don't...

I'll settle for making Willow suffer...Even if she does get to keep Mommie and Daddie...

He rolled his eyes...Yep, crazy as a wiccan loon...

Why do I always get these types latching on to me...?

"See this Warren...?" she pulled out a document from the desk ...

"My dad had me declared legally dead...So he could take the house..."

I'm dead...she grinned coldly...My own father said so...

Of course...He didn't know I was a rat...

But he didn't even look for me...Nobody did...

Nobody gave a damn...

Heck, Mom only left me the house because she was gonna take my body...And then stage my...er her
suicide...

I'm dead...I just haven't stopped moving yet...

And I wish...I'd never been born...Not into this Hell...

"You're dead too, Mears...You just won't accept it yet..."

Pardon me?...Warren looked at her...

"So really..." Amy smiled... "If vamp Buffy or raging Willow catches us in the end...What does it
matter?...We're dead..."

Her face hardened a bit...
But before I let them bury me...I want that bitch to suffer too...That "sweet little Willow"...Who
thought it was a big joke to play with me in that hell cage...Spent a total of 45 minutes in three years
trying to help me...And I counted those minutes, Warren...And, when she was too bored to think of
anything else to do...Changed me immediately back, no effort at all...

All of them...Let me suffer for three years...Until there wasn't an Amy to come back to anymore...

Until I was dead...

He frowned at her...

"Well, girly...You can be as dead as you like but Warren Mears is not dead...And I don't intend to
die..."

She chuckled at him...He turned beet red...She waved an apologetic hand at him...

"Don't get mad, Warren...It's just...Hilarious to hear you of all people talking about not intending to
die..."

"I am not dead!..."

He hesitated...

"Am I?..." he felt himself...Nah...

You're worse than physically dead, Mearsy...Amy grinned...

Your soul is on a one way trip to Hell...Forever...

"Maybe your little dreams will come true...Maybe you'll win...And for one year, ten years,
twenty...Hell, maybe you'll find a way to live a couple of centuries...You'll rule Sunnydale, even the
world..."

But after that...The bill comes due...

Unless...she paused...

"I like you Warren...I know I'm crazy to...I know you'd sell me out in a minute...But...I guess
everyone needs somebody..."

You could still change the outcome...For Eternity...

Yeah?...he regarded her...

Yeah...she nodded...

"And pray tell...?" he sneered at her...
"Repent...And sin no more..." she grinned...

They say it works...

Repent...? he stared at her...

"Turn yourself in for both murders and Buffy's shooting...Beg Willow's and Buffy's
forgiveness...Try to do some good with whatever bit of your life you get back in and after prison..."
she smiled at him...

Course you gotta be sincere...The Powers That Be can read phony, so they say...

He smirked...Repent...

Sure...If I believed in that crap...

"Hey...I tried, right?..." she eyed him..."Last kind act of the ghost of dead Amy...A nice girl, in her
day..."

A little sadly, he saw...

God...she really meant it...he realized...

She really...Cared...

"Well..." she sighed...

Guess we're both headed for the same place...she smiled...So we'll each have company...

And who knows...Maybe we'll pull it off...Rule Sunnydale and the world...Together...

For a little while...

"Your confidence in our little scheme is really underwhelming..." Warren frowned...

Sorry...she patted his arm...

Just being realistic...

He looked at her a long moment...

"Amy?...If you really believe in all that crap...?"

Why don't you...You know...Give it up yourself...?

Repent...

"Who'd care...?" she smiled at him...

***

Deathwishes...Part XII...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...Who may shortly
need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part XII...

"A week...?" Buffy spoke into the phone...

Willow won't be home for another week?...she sighed...

And I won't get to see my...er Cicely's...letters and journal until then...she did not say...

Giles was apologetic...But, still...Sending the things with Willow had been the fastest and probably
safest route...

Within his somewhat strained means...He kindly did not say...Not wishing to remind Buffy that his
gift to her and his neglect of his own concerns had been the cause of the means straining...

She caught herself however, realizing she was running a tad low on the gratitude scale...

"Thanks for all the archive searching, Giles..." she hastily told him...

And...For taking care of Willow...

"She's ok?...Right...?" Xander called anxiously, having come over...

Buffy put up a hand...A mo, please...

Sorry...he backed off and sat by Dawn...

Who had questions of her own...For him...

Though the central question he'd been forced to answer already...Immediately on appearing at the
door of the Box after finishing his little impromptu electrical installation job...

"William...?" Dawn, Buffy, Anya...Had all asked...

Anya ready to teleport...Not that she lacked faith in her Xander's solemn promise...

Just...If some accident had occurred to Will...Say Xander's fist had accidently smashed his face
open...She was ready to provide immediate medical assistance...

After all, that wouldn't have violated his promise not to destroy William...

Buffy ready to leap out the door...Tense as a coiled spring...

All three sighing audibly in response to Xander's innocent... "I think I got his power all set..."

Good ole Xander...Buffy had hugged him, near tears...Joined quickly by Anya and finally
Dawn...As he stared at them...

"It was just a few wires..."

Great...Buffy had nodded, beaming at her "big brother"...

Just as the phone...Giles...Had rung...

But Dawn still had many questions...

How'd he seem...? Was he showing more of the brooding remorse thing?...Had he told him
anything about Cicely they hadn't heard yet?...Did he want to see them?...

Was his hair really as natural looking now as Buffy and An had said?...
***

Ok...Buffy eyed the others, having put the phone down...With the exception of Anya, who'd
resumed her duty post at the cash register...

Love and redemption is all very well...And the gang was always more than welcome to use the
Box...Especially with Giles still a partner...But, business to run...

Unless, of course Mr. Harris wanted to talk in private...she'd noted to herself...

Which apparently...He did not, just yet...

Rats...

Not wishing him to be one...she hastily added to her thought...In case certain somebodys might be
thought-reading...
Just...Things had been going so well between them this morning...He could at least have told her
what happened with William in private...Like he would've in the old days...When she'd drag him off
to make him tell her things in private...

"Ok..." Buffy continued...

Willow will be in New York for a week or so...Her mom is joining her there...Giles wanted her to
have a little less pressure in the first reunion...Which is great...And what Wil needs...

Phew...Dawn thought...

She'll be coming home with her mom...Mucho less likely she'd kill us all with Mommie by her
side...

"Giles gave her everything he could get his hands on about Cicely at the archives...He's sending a
few digitalized documents by email..." Buffy noted...

So...We'll see all the Cicely stuff in a week...

Just a week...she corrected...

Ummn...For now...He thinks we should give William some down time...Not overdue the visits...

Not leave him alone of course...she hastily added...

Just not overdue it...While he gets a handle on the soul thing...

"So we can't go see him?..." Dawn looked at her...

Ummn...Not that I wanna rush another meeting with my sis' near rapist...she thought...

On the other hand...Soul thing cancels, right...Absolves?...

And he is my...(Gulp)...No, not yet...Hold on that one, Miss Summers...

Does a century-old marriage between two more or less dead (at times) people count?...

Ummn...Buffy replied...

"I'll check on him in a little while...But I think I should go alone..."

They looked at her...Dawn, Xander, Anya even, from her post...

"Just to check on him, guys..."

I'm going too...Dawn insisted...

Alone, Dawn...Buffy glared at her...

Buffy...Xander frowned...

"I was willing to give William a chance today...But I'm not willing to take a chance with you...We
don't know how this thing will play out..."

He has a soul now, Xander...Buffy stared at him...

And he's my husband...Maybe...she did not say...Tried desperately not to think...

"Buffy..." Xander sighed...

"I gotta tell ya...He's not in great "romantic reunion" mode right now..."

And having a soul does not make him incapable of violence or anger...Or evil...

Violence...? Dawn jerked her head up...Looking nervously at Buffy...

"William is not evil!..." Buffy shouted in a sudden rage...Trembling...

How dare you talk about him that way!...she shook...

And burst into tears...

Xander stared at her...Was that a British accent?...he hissed to Dawn...

It's been creeping in on her all day long...Dawn whispered back...

He sighed, patting Buffy's shoulder and then hugged her...

"I want to see him..." Buffy sobbed...

Please...

"Buf..." Xander lifted her chin...

Ya know I couldn't stop you if you went...

But...I...

She looked at him...

"Does he hate me?..." she asked...

Does he hate you?...You?...Dawn thought, grumbling within...

Ok, right...Soul thing, rejection, driven off to a century of hideous torment...

Guess I can see where human Will might harbor a grudge...A misplaced grudge, of course...

I hope...she thought...

"He doesn't hate you...But..." Xander eyed Buffy, the tears tracking down her face...

Buf...He's had a terrible time...And...

"And I'm to blame..." Buffy sighed...

"Drusilla...Or better yet...(Least for me, he thought) Angelus...Is to blame, Buffy..."

Whatever Cicely did that night...

"I hafta see him Xander...I don't wanta go against you...I know you're just looking out for me..."

Will you take me...? she pleaded...

Just for a few...

"Isn't Will going to go on Patrol with her tonight...?" Dawn hissed to Anya, having gone over to
her...

I mean...she explained as Anya stared at her...He always showed up on her Patrols...

And he's her...Ummn...

He always went on Patrol with her...she finished lamely...

"I think Will needs to take it slow with her for now, Dawn..." Anya noted...

Xander sighed at Buffy's tear-streaked face...

"An...Dawn...Buf and I..."

Will be back in a little while...

"Thank you..." Buffy kissed him...

He stared...That Brit accent again...And that wasn't quite the way Buf had ever kissed him
before...From his limited, I-luv-ya-big-bro, Buffy kiss experience...

So...That's...he thought...

"You're welcome...Cicely..." he told her quietly...
***

Poor ole New York...Willow sighed, looking from her window as her plane continued its descent
towards LaGuardia Airport...

One big open wound...The pain and sorrow like a shroud drawn over...

And yet...Hey, lady, she waved at the Statue of Liberty as she caught a quick glimpse through a
cloud...

So much love...So much concern...

As she left the plane and reached the gate area, she began looking around...A little frantically...

Well, right, new security...Mom's probably...

She reached the security gate...Armed men in uniforms patrolling...

"Willow!..." her mother called, waving from just past the no admittance area...

God...She looks so worn...When did she get so worn...?

When did I stop seeing her...

Mom!!!...she waved, running...

Oh...Ma...she sobbed, dropping her bags and hurling herself into Mrs. Rosenberg's arms...

"Baby...Baby..." Mrs. R pulled back...

I'm so sorry, baby...

"I'm the one who's sorry, Ma..." Willow shook her head...

"Have you been eating?..."

All English stuff, Ma...I'm starved...You gotta a place in mind?...she grabbed her bags...

"What am I sayin'...You got four places lined up, right?..." she grinned...

"I know a good spot in Greenwich Village from my college days..." Mrs. R noted...Pausing by the
transport desk to request a cab...

How's that nice Mr. Giles?...I gotta send him something nice for keeping us informed about you...

"Rupert's fine..."

Whoops...

"Rupert, eh?..." Mrs. R eyed her daughter...

Ma...

***

Deathwishes...Part XIII...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...Who may shortly
need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part XIII...

"Haven't you ever been in a boat, Mr. Walthrop?..." Cicely asked...Smiling at the little man...As he
struggled with the oars...

A day out in the Lake District, courtesy dear cousin Henry and his generous offer of his cottage...

Ummn...Walthrop shrugged...Trying to seem casual about it...Casual as one could with one oar
floating off into the center of the lake while the other seemed likely to pull him in...

Why the hell she'd asked him to come out here...He'd never know...She must enjoy the spectacle of
him constantly being humiliated, trying to cope with a world he'd never experienced outside of his
beloved books...

Well, there goes the other oar...

And he'd given up critical exams time for this...Not to mention precious dabs of his funds in
traveling here...Money much better spent on his books or better still sent to his sister and brother,
Amelia and Philip...

Still, she'd promised to "fire his poetical imagination" with new sights...Actually she'd teased that
she would do what she could to fire anything that might possibly be there...

Dim coals, judging by what she'd read of his work...
Well, to be fair, a remark she instantly withdrawn and profusely apologized for after seeing his
crestfallen face...

Rather remarkable, her consideration for his feelings just then...Considering her usual haughty prig
manner...

She'd almost seemed...To care...

But then, she simply wanted to please ole Henry...And demonstrate her capacity for compassion to
the lower orders...

Who knew, maybe she was in love with her cousin...? Unable to act on it, perhaps, but
desperate to please him...

The boat was drifting out into the center of the lake...At least in pursuit of one oar, he noted, if rather
slowly...

Oddly enough she didn't seem much distressed by the situation...Lost out on the lake with her
cousin's ragamuffin charity case "friend"... The "dangerous radical" William Soames Walthrop...A
joking sobriquet she'd placed on him at dinner the other night...Which her father had taken quite
serious umbrage at...Glaring at the "radical" Henry had smuggled into his home all the rest of the
evening...

Well, he supposed if she was so determined to take it calmly, the least he could do was demonstrate
similar fortitude...

In the end, after all, he could always try...Drowning...er swimming...back to the shore, dragging the
boat behind...

"Don't be distressed..." she told him...Kindly, he noted with surprise...

William...she paused...

He stared at her ...

"We can just drift a bit...We'll catch up to one of the oars soon enough..."

Tell me about your family...William...she eyed him...

"Henry says...He told me...Your mother died last year..."

Tuberculosis...he nodded...

And years of slaving like a dog...With beatings from the masters to boot...

"Amazing what "gentlemen" can get away with when the woman beaten almost to death by her
employer is a poor servant..." he noted...
God save the Queen, our just legal system, and our noble Parliament...

"Henry is hoping to better things like that..." she noted...

When he gets to Parliament...

I wish there were more like him...William noted simply...

"I've always said it...He is a good man...And my friend..."

Who owes you a great deal, William...she looked at him...

"He needed a bit of help...I was glad to oblige..."

"He would have failed and been sent down...If you hadn't taken him in hand..."

"I rather enjoyed helping a toff..." William said curtly...

Nice to have one indebted to one...Can come in handy...

"Are you always so ready to snap at anyone who shows you a little kindness...?" she glared...

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean that..."

As I didn't mean to hurt you the other day...she noted...

I thought you could take criticism...You certainly claim to be able to...

"I never claimed to be a great poet, Miss Addams...I just...Try to write..."

You need more...Experience...William...

"I've had years of it, Miss Addams...Assisting my mother and her fellows in service, working in
factories, working anywhere I could make a few shillings...Trying to keep a roof over my brother
and sister's heads...Bury my mother in some dignity..."

He eyed her...

You can't know the "experience" I've had...And frankly, I'm glad for you, you haven't...

It was clouding up and getting gusty...

"I may have had more "experience" than you can imagine, William..."

He stared at her...

"My name, by the way, is Cicely...Please use it...I don't like calling you by your first if you refuse to
use mine..." she smiled wanly at him...

She looks tired...He noted...As if she's been working at the books or something...All night...

"Perhaps we'd best try heading in..." he looked at her...

Wouldn't want to compromise your reputation any further...

"I can bear a little "compromising"..." she smiled...Stared at him...

Was she...Nervous?...

And looked away...

"Henry thinks you have a great future..." she began...

Henry...Is a very kind friend...

"But when you get your degree..."

I will be a poor man with a degree from Cambridge, two others to feed...And...

A very bad poet...

"Your story the other night was very good..." she paused... "You have promise..."

A tale to friends about my working days...A hair better than my poems...

As your friend Henderson pointed out...When he gave me my new nickname...

"Bloody Aw..."

"Henderson is an ass!..." she eyed him fiercely...

You wrong me to call him my friend...

He stared at her...So angry...So suddenly...

Like a summer storm...

For...Him?...

"Are you going to let a fool like him tell you to stop...?" she went on...

Is that what your mother killed herself for...So you could give up at the first hint of criticism?...

"I have to think practically...Mouths to feed, remember?..."
"Don't belittle my opinions, Will...iam...Just because I don't know hunger and cold right now
doesn't mean I don't understand..."practicalities"..." she told him crossly... "I'm not a little fool, you
know..."

Just because you must think of the practical doesn't mean...The romantic in you has to die...she
muttered...Looking out toward shore...

Odd...? He could almost...Think she was talking about...herself...

The romantic mustn't die, Will...she looked back at him...Life's not worth living without it...

Wind was really picking up now...Boat rocking...

"Are you all right?..." she looked at him...

Just...he paused...

A trifle...Giddy...

A swell caught them neatly, lifting the boat, turning it over...

"William!..." she cried, grabbing for him...With simply amazing speed...

But a hair too slow...They went in separately...

He bobbed up...Much to his own surprise...

She wasn't there...He looked round in terror...

"Cicely!!..." he screamed...

"Cicely!!!"

He pushed himself back down...And found her just under the upturned boat, stunned by striking the
side...

Grabbing her, he desperately dived back under, while trying to cover her mouth and nose from the
water...And popped up with her on the other side...She coughing and choking as he propped her up
against the upturned boat...

He saved me that day, Buffy told Xander quietly, staring out the car window...And I thought...He's
tougher than he looks...This sweet little William...

And he is a beautiful soul...A true romantic under that front...Who needs someone...Like me...

He can see it, I can tell...He sees there's more in me than some vain little fool...He can see the
Slayer...
And even more...The fellow romantic...

He'll do for me...I want him...

God bless you, dear Henry...For bringing him to me...

If we have the courage...I can escape my fate...With him... And help him escape too...I know he has
the courage...I feel it...

If he wants me...If he can love me...

Best to get that straight, Miss Addams...And I will...

But I think...He could...He does...

If I can make him believe my story...And we have the courage...

Buffy paused...bowing her head and rubbing her temples...Xander continuing to listen quietly...

"I didn't tell him..." she said simply...

I was afraid...Afraid I'd lose him...

"I thought I could escape with him...I married him...But I knew...I was putting him in danger..."

"Oh...God, I loved him so much...!...But it was wrong...I couldn't let him die..."

And they were coming...Darla, Dru, and Angelus...The worst I'd ever faced...And I couldn't just
leave London to them...

"I couldn't run from what I was..."

And...Then...she pondered...

Then my Watcher offered me a solution...

Xander glanced at her...

She shook her head...Shrugging...

"Cicely takes her own good time coming out...I'll just have to wait for the rest to surface..."

We're here...he told her...As the car pulled to a stop...Outside the grounds of William's new resting
place...

"Beautiful place, isn't it?..." she eyed him...

Will and I didn't have much time to look it over...But it seemed nice...

Yeah...he nodded kindly...

It is a nice place...
***

"Well..." William stared at her as she stood with Xander in his new crypt's ground level...

Nice of you to drop by, Slayer...

"Care for something?...Thanks to ole Xan here...." he grinned at Xander... "I actually have a
working fridge now..."

She shook her head...Looking around...

"We...Ummn...Should get some posters or something for you...From the house..."

Lower level only, my girl...he smiled coolly at her...

Groundspeople do swing by on occasion...

"Dawn...Says hi...Hopes you're ok..."

As ok as a dead man can be...he grinned...

She looked at him...

"Leave us a minute or two, Xander?..." she turned to him...

Just a minute alone...

Please...?

"A minute...Maybe two..." Xander replied...Eyeing Will...And headed outside...

"So...Miss Summers..." Will sat on the large stone slab in the center of the crypt...

Something on your mind...?

"Whatever you think...About what happened that night..." she said carefully, not looking at him...

"That night was a century ago...And Cicely...And William...Are long dead..." he noted...

So...Nothing to trouble your little head over...

She looked at him now...
"I loved you, Will..."

You don't even know me, Buffy...he looked up at her...

"Spike was your little playmate last year...Whatever contribution I managed to make..."

"Don't do this Will...You went to Africa to come back to me...All the way..."

Spike went to Africa...To get the chip out...And come back and kill you...he smiled at her...

"He just picked the wrong god...One with a sense of ironic humor..."

Giles doesn't believe that...Buffy eyed him...

"He told me...The demon must have sensed you within...And what you really wanted..."

Hell...she grinned for the first time...

"You oughta know better than anyone...Spike was the only demon in the world with a decent sense
of humor..."

I'm dead...Buffy...

I'm a dead man...With a vicious demon barely restrained inside him...

Who's killed thousands of people...At least a few of whom were more or less totally innocent...

"I was dead...Twice as Buffy...Once as Cicely..."

It's no picnic...But...I dealt...

"You weren't a mad killer, love..." he sighed...

You're not a killer, William...You're not resp...

"Spike is me!..." he got up, glaring...

My id, if you like...

But he is made from me...My dark half...

All they got out of you...Was the Nibs...he grinned at her...

"We all have a dark side, Will..."

You just haven't seen mine...

"Haven't I, pet?..." he looked at her...

I've seen Anne...Remember...?

Anne?...Buffy stared at him...

"Your demonic counterpart...Spike's seen her hovering round you...I've seen her...Hoping, praying
for her chance...When you were with us in the crypt before...At our mercy..."

You have quite a demon sister, girl...he looked away...

"Why, Cicely...?" he stared back at her...

Why didn't you try to help me?...I cried out to you from Spike, Buffy...

You never heard me...

"I'm sorry..." she began...he waved her off...

He paced the crypt, continuing quietly...

As long as you got what you wanted...What you needed...You were happy to leave me as I was...

"Just as you used me in 1880...And spit me out when you were done..."

No...Will...

"I loved you so, Cicely...I stayed...Hung on...All these years...Because somehow, I couldn't believe
that you'd done it...Somehow, I thought...You'd come for me..."

"I didn't...William...I loved you...I came back..." she gasped...

I'm "beneath you..."...Sound familiar?...he smiled...

"You still remembered it a century later...That night in the bar..."

I didn't know...I didn't know...she stared helplessly at him...

"Well...You have your hero now...Angel...A trade up, I'd say..." he nodded at her...

She looked back at him...

Don't worry...Miss Addams...he smiled at her...

I'll make no trouble about the divorce...Or annulment if you prefer...

"But then, I imagine your father arranged that for you after I died, eh...?"
"He wanted to..." she eyed him...

I wouldn't let him...

He stopped in his pacing...

"You were the Slayer then, weren't you?"

Yes...she nodded...

And never told me...?

"I was afraid to...I thought...You'd leave me...Or worse...You'd try to fight with me..."

Why did you make me leave, Cicely?...Why that night of all nights?...

"I don't remember...Yet...Everything that happened..." she paused...

But Will...I didn't do it because I hated you...

I came back...I'm here...Because I love you...

"What happened to my brother and sister...?" he asked her suddenly...

Amelia, Philip...Do you remember them at all?...

I...she paused...

Sister...? Brother...? she thought, trying to concentrate...

"No...I didn't think you would..." he eyed her...

Will...

"Miss Addams...?...If you don't mind...I'd like a little time to think now..."

Alone...he stared at her...

She got up...Shaken and lost as he'd ever seen her...As bad as she'd been that day...He'd patched her
poor hands...

"I guess...You need some time to think too, Buffy..." he told her, a bit more kindly...

She looked at him...

It's the kindness...In the eyes...

"I love you, William...Don't forget that..." she said quietly...

And I will wait...As long as it takes you...To come home to me...

She went to the entrance and called Xander back...

***

Deathwishes...Part XIV...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...Who may shortly
need a little help herself...Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part XIV...


The Master of the Sunnydale Universe is back...Warren thought happily...Eyeing the assembled
demon allies...

All four of them...Amy noted to herself, watching her partner inspecting them...A proud Napoleon
reviewing the Grande Armee...

Well, doesn't take much to make nerd boy happy...

And, she thought in spite of herself...Is kinda nice to see him happy...

No more talk of leaving Sunnydale...Leaving her...From him...Even with the long odds against
them...

Still...she eyed him, hesitant...If we left now...If I could get him to take me and go...

He'd leave me...Soon as we were safe...If we ever could be safe...And Willow would go back to her
happy life...Untouched, unbothered...Just a minor bit of make-up with the family...And a little
remorse in the soul, quickly eased when Warren is revealed to still be among the living...

Of course...If we pull this off...For even a little while...He'll get rid of me as soon as he can...

It's just a matter of whether he kills me or Buffy or Willow does...
And what does it matter?...To dead rat girl...

"Amy..." he called her over...

The boys would like a leetle display of your prowess, babe...

"If you don't mind...Just something simple to convince 'em we've got what it takes..."

Sure...she nodded and headed over, a faint note of eagerness in her voice...

Somebody needs me...

For a little while...
***

On the one hand...Dawn noted...Sitting at her sis' Willow-gift laptop...

Getting into Buffy's email is a violation of her privacy...One that I would never tolerate myself...

On the other hand...God I've gotta know what Giles sent her about Cicely and William...

Really he should've known enough to send copies to me...

Back to that first hand...What if there's something really, really personal in this stuff?...Not to
mention the non-Giles stuff...Maybe something from Angel expanding on whatever he said to her
last year when they met...

Hmmn...That sounds like a case for the other hand, for sure...If only to protect my (gulp)
broth...Yikes!...Not yet!...Back up, Dawn, back up...Ummn...Will's interests...(Not that I'm
forgetting the attempted rape of course...though...Spike's attempted rape...)

And there could be stuff concerning me...

Say an evaluation of my character...Or some plan with Giles for sending me off to an English
boarding school when she gets back into college...

But back to first hand...How could I ever keep quiet about anything I read?...If it's any good...

I'd never be able to keep it in ...She'd be hurt...And she's been hurt a lot...

Other hand again...I am made from Buffy after all...Part of her...And Cicely, really...

He sent the stuff to both of us really...And I don't have to look at anything else...

As junior Slayer-in-training I must be kept informed...Especially as regards William the
Bloody...(My b-in-l...Ohmigod!...)

And she does have her password right out...In the bottom of her desk drawer...In case she forgets it...

Practically an invitation to go on in...

***

He loves me....He loves me not...Anya stacked the Imhotep figurines on the main display table of the
Box...

Females...Loves...

Males...Loves not...

Hmmn...This male one has a chip...Definite discard...

This one...Discolored...Really gotta speak to my supplier in Egypt...Another male for the discard
pile...

Hmmn she smiled...Looks like it's...Shoot...

Broken arm on this female...But hey...It'll still work...Doesn't look bad at all...Definitely a keeper...

And the winner is...

Xander entered the shop with a troubled look on his face...

Troubled...And he came to me...

I tell ya...The Imhoteps are right on the money every time...

"Hey, Xander..." she called...

Whatdaya think?...she pointed to the stack of figurines...

Uh-huh...he nodded...

It's bad...

"Oh...?" she blinked...Staring at the stack...

What's wrong with them...? she asked...A little crestfallen...

Not a good omen...

"Everything...An...I tell ya...I'm worried..." he sighed, moving to their research area and taking a
seat...

Oh?...she looked at the figurines...

Very bad omen...

Soul or no soul...he shook his head...

"Oh...You mean Buffy...er Cicely...And William...?" she perked up a bit...

What did you think I meant...?

"Nothing...So what's the matter...?"

"What's the matter...?" he stared at her...

An...Buffy believes she's the reincarnation of Spike's dead wife...

And that she's responsible for driving him to Drusilla...

He seems to share that opinion...

It might even...Be true...he sighed...

"And worst of all...I can't just stake him to make it all go way now that he's got a soul again..."

"Where is Buffy?..." she asked...

Took her home...he replied...

"Dawn go home?..." he looked around...

Yeah...Anya nodded...

Guess it's just us...she smiled wanly...

He looked at her a moment...

"I never got a chance to say...Thanks..." he told her...

For coming with me this morning...And keeping me from...

You know...he rolled his eyes...

"Was Will really angry with her?..."

I think he's...Looking for someone to blame...

Ah...Anya nodded...Anger...
"It's one of the stages..."

Stages...? he stared at her...

In facing death...she explained...

"I was reading this article about the stages humans experience in facing death...Fear, Anger,
Bargaining, and so forth to Acceptance..."

An...?

"You remember...I wanted to understand humans' fear of death...Back when Mrs. Summers died
and I got all death-obsessed..."

But...William...he began...

"I know...He died a century ago...But he never got the chance to go through the stages..."

So...I figure...He's doing it now...

Hmmn...She could actually be right...he noted to himself...

"Buffy...Cicely...Just has to be patient while he gets through this..." she noted...

Actually...he paused...

That's just about what she told him...That she'd give him all the time he needed...

"She loves him, An..." he shook his head...

My poor Buffy...What is she gonna do?...

"There are worse things that finding your true love after a century, Xander..." Anya replied...

She might have lost him to Spike forever...But now...

"There are worse things..." she eyed him...

***

Holy shit...Dawn stared at the screen...

It can't be...

But it is...

The eyes of a digital copy of a portrait of Ms. Cicely Addams, 1878 stared back at her...
Could it just be a resemblance?...Halfreck did look older...And something heftier...

Jesus...She came to me...

Naturally...I was made from her former client...Hell, no...

Her current client...

She's not here because of my little depression...She's not my "justice demon"...

She's...Buffy's...

Anya...I've got to call An...

"Dawn!..." Buffy called from the front door...

Yipe...she hastily began shutting down...

Hmmn...Buffy looked good as a brunette...

***

"Well..." Zorg, the Germanic older demon smiled at Amy...

A most impressive display of magical ability...

Absolutely...Warren beamed at her...

Ummn...Thanks...she nodded to their new ally...Smiling a little at Warren...

I was on my toes there...she grinned inwardly...

"This little scheme may indeed have a chance..." Zorg eyed her carefully...

And you really feel the new Ms. Summers will cooperate with us...?

"She'll be evil...That's all I really can guarantee..." Amy noted...

You know Evil generally has an eye on its own best interests...Warren quickly chimed in...

And our Amy will see to that Buffy the Vampire can't harm any of us...

"The new Buffy will deal...She'll see the benefits quick enough..." he smiled...

Perhaps...Zorg nodded...

But if not...What the hell...She'll be one of us and even if she kills us, Evil as a whole wins...he
shrugged, smiling...

Ah...A selfless patriot for the Dark Side...Warren thought...

Laudable...But not quite to my way of thinkin'...

But I have a feeling...If Summers grows a brain tonight...With our help...And starts looking out for
Number One...She'll be willing to deal...

With me...

"We should finalize things if we're gonna make an attempt tonight..." he pointed out...Pulling out a
map...

Excellent idea...Zorg agreed...

Gentlemen...he called his fellows over...

We're all attention, my friend...he smiled at Warren...

Who glanced at Amy...Watch me, kiddo...Watch how Daddy handles this sort of thing...

She couldn't keep a wan smile off her face...

"Now..." Warren began...

Amy and I will be in position when you fellas reach the cemetery...

***

Hmmn...Dawn pondered as she headed to the stairs...

Tell her...And risk the wrath of Buffy-Cicely?...

Plus maybe having her go off half-cocked after a powerful "justice demon" like
Halfreck...Demanding answers...Seeking "justice"...Against rather than from her...

And God knows what those answers, if given, might be...Possibly something that might bring poor
Buffy more shame and remorse than anyone...Especially a recently resurrected anyone... could
handle...

Or hold off...Let her head over to her Doublemeat shift and Patrol...And give ole Anya a call at first
chance...

Get some vengeance demon protection enlisted on our side...

And...Maybe...With all due caution...
Speak to my in-law...(Ohmigod!...)

***

"You got 'em eating out of our hand, girly...." Warren smiled at Amy...

Nice job...

Thanks...she nodded...

"We are gonna pull this one off, Amy..." he grinned...

It'll be you and me, kiddo...Lord and lady of Sunnydale...With Buffy as our very own pet vamp...

"Yeah...Look, Warren..." she sighed...

"I need somebody and I'm willing to admit I like you...But just keep in mind...I'm not stupid and if
you start playing games with me...Well, I don't have Willow's power...So my defleshing would have
to be the slow way..."

Hey...he put up his hands...

"You're the one with the power, lady..." he nodded...

For now, bitch...he did not say...

***

Deathwishes...Part XV...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse,
www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: S7 tale...William's back, seeking help from his favorite Slayer-girl...Who may shortly
need a little help herself...
Another Cicelyverse tale...

Written partly pre-Lessons, so no major spoilers that I know of but you may want to see episode 7.1
and on first to be sure...

Part XV...


"So..." Dawn ran down the stairs and up to her sis...Bright and chipper...
"How'd it go with...Ummn...William...?"

Her eyes are rolling up...I know that look...What the hell has she done now?...Buffy
wondered...Frowning a bit...

Was she in my room again?...

Still...

Sis-in-law rates the latest on her bro...

"He was better..." she nodded...

Settling in at the new place...

Much less suicidal...she did not say...

Much less suicidal I hope she likewise did not say...

"What did you say...? What did he say?...Did you tell him what Giles told us?...What did he
say?..."

Lots...Very little...Yeah...Repeat that last one, please...Buffy replied...

"Buffy!?...What happened...?!...I want details!..."

"It's complicated, Dawn...He's dealing with a lot of things...So am I...And right now, supper and
getting off to work are two of them..." she moved toward the kitchen...And stopped...

But...If you want... "Details"...Here's one...

"I told him I loved him...And I'd wait as long as it takes for him to figure things out..." she
continued to the kitchen, leaving Dawn with her lower jaw down near the floor...

Holy...

***

Dinner...?...And a movie?...And it can be a "chick flick"?...Anya eyed Xander as they stood in the
main room of the now closed Box...

I make my sorrow and undying love...The no-doubts-about-it undying love of an immortal
vengeance demon, I might add, not the vaguely-hoping-in-an-afterlife human variety...Subtly clear
to you...

"And that's the best you can offer me...?"

Cicely offered William better...At least she made a clean break...No nonsense about "lets try dating
once in a while..."

"I thought you didn't believe Buffy...er Cicely actually did it?..." Xander noted, quickly seeking the
outstanding diversionary topic...

"That's beside the point!...Xander...!? What the hell's wrong with you...? We're watching a great
love tale unfolding to its climax...Lovers separated by a cruel and hideous fate...A heartless
God...Giving serious merit to Humanity reconsidering the benefits of polytheism, where you can
always find another god to appeal to, I might note..."

And all you can do...With Will's incredible example staring you in the face...Is offer me a cheap
night out?...And you, the "Man of Love"...she bowed her head, looking away...

"But I guess that only applies to Willow Rosenberg..." she sadly noted... "And only when she's
insane..."

An...

"Please...Let me save you the cash..." she waved her hands...

"Is that what you want...?" he frowned... "For me to get vamped, keep my soul hanging around for
love of you for a century, and then...Maybe...You'll consider taking me back...?"

You think I want you hurt?...God, Harris if I wanted you hurt...she gave a grim smile...Believe me...

She sighed...Staring at his beautiful face...Wishing...No...No, no, no...Beautiful face intact, not one
iota changed...In fact I was wishing for a diet coke...

And not for him to become a diet coke, D-H...

"Xander...What I want should be clear, even to you...It's simple...But I'll even go so far as to tell
you..."

I want you to go down on your knees, ask my forgiveness...Then, ask me again to marry you and
this time...Mean it...

Ummn...

"Ummn?!...Xander, there is no room for "Ummn" here!..." tears running down her face...

Out!!...she pointed...

"Anya...Look...There are reasons...Some..." he paused...

Some would be the... "Xander, that's ridiculous...You're a good man...Don't worry we'll be fine..."
...kind...
But...Others...he sighed...

"I wouldn't hurt you for the world, An...But..."

What are the reasons...? she asked quietly...

Tell me...The "Xander, that's ridiculous..." ones first...

"I deserve to know..."

He nodded...

"Back at the wedding...After your former victim showed me a phony future...Our phony future...I
started thinking about how my parents turned out..." he began...

That is ridiculous, Xander...You're not your father...You don't drink to abusive drunkenness, just to
beer belly...And you've been working on that pretty well...

"I couldn't bear us to be unhappy in the end...Like them...And hurt our kids...The way they hurt
me..." he looked at her...

Still ridiculous...In a noble, well-meant way...she noted...

"I'm not afraid of us, Xander...We won't be your parents..."

And I was afraid...he paused...

This one...Likewise ridiculous, I guess...

"I was afraid...I might die...Fighting things from the Hellmouth with Buffy...And leave you and the
kids...(gulp)...If any...Alone..."

Now that one is so...easily dealt with...she smiled a bit...

"I'll hit you over the head or drug you and lock you in the house every time a new menace comes to
Sunnydale..."

Heck I was gonna do that anyway...

"An..."

"Ok...We'll do the fight-and-die-together thing...I was a Viking girl...We're good at ritual suicide..."

Besides...It's sure to be the road Buffy and William will follow from now on...And if it's good
enough for the Slayer and her honey...

"There's more...Less ridiculous..." he eyed her...
More...Painful...Actually...

"Used to pain...Go on..." she tensed a bit...Guessing...

"I don't blame you for what you did after the wedding...I understand...But..."

She blinked...Oh...

"Oh my God!...Haly was right!...A half-assed test she called it..."

That's it, right?...This was a test...And I failed...

"No...An...I wouldn't..."

But that's how it comes out, right?...Things got tough...I resumed my old career...

Grade...F...

He stared at her...

"I failed, didn't I?..." she looked at him, despairingly...He just stared...

Xander, you knew what I was...You said it made no difference...

"An...You were human again...I thought the past didn't matter...I guess...I thought of Anyanka like
Angelus..."

Different species entirely...Driven solely by instinct...No soul merging...she replied...

"The thing is...I thought she was gone...For good...So I never..."

Blamed me...For the past...? she eyed him...

"You were human...A wonderful, loving human...But you chose to be a monster again..."

A so-far, non-lethal monster...she hastily noted...

I know, he nodded...

But An...How can I be sure...If things get tough someday...?

"You think I'd hurt you?...And the (gulp) kids...All 2.5 of them?..."

Never us...he shook his head...

But maybe...Others...

"Oh...I don't know Mr. Harris...Hurting you is looking less and less like an impossibility..." she
glared...

"You tested me!?...Without showing me the exam sheet and answers beforehand?!..."

Is that love, Xander?...Is that trust?...she looked away...

"Get out!..." she pointed...

"Out!...Before I..."

He moved to the door...

"I haven't harmed anyone, Xander..." she said quietly, not looking at him...

I don't intend to...

You should have trusted me...

"Don't come back, please..." she looked coldly at him now...

Except on Scooby business, of course...My shop is still part Giles'...And anyway, as a non-lethality
committed member of a rational soul-merged demon race...I support efforts to avert mass murder
and world destruction...

"Whether you believe in me or not..." she added...

"I'm sorry, Anya..."

Anyanka to you...she coldly noted...

He went out the door...She went over to a mirror on the wall...

"Mirror, mirror...On my wall..."

Who's the biggest fool of them all?...

Yeah...she stared at her demon face...

Smashing her head against the glass until it cracked and the blood ran...

***

Jorge stared at Miss Summers...Behind the Doublemeat counter...In her Doublemeat chicken/cow
hat...

"This the big future I get if I follow your advice, lady?..." he smirked...
I told you, kid...Glamorous facade...Harsh reality...she smiled back...

And no...This is the big future you get if you don't take it...

"So...Who's advice didn't you follow?..." he asked her...

More than half serious, she realized...

My heart's...she replied...Smiling wanly at him...

But...I'm workin' on it...
***

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