"The Road to..."
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Josh (ok, ok Joss...er...Joss V, Jr....heh, heh) Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...
Summary: Just foolin' around while doing something much more important on what oughta be my last day off for a while. I may extend this someday when others are done...
Possible spoilers for Angel to "Destiny"...So flee, while you can...
LA...Angel's office at the Wolfram-Hart building...
"So...? What does it say?..." William grabbed at the telegram...the staffer pulling it away...Just a minute, please...The demon handed it to Angel with a flourish...Sir...
"Thanks, son..." Angel gave a polite...Boss of bosses...Nod...As the demon backed away, slight grovel mode...
"Yeah?...So that's your Connor...I see the resemblance..." Shut-up...Angel frowned...
"Was he always so horn-encrusted or is that some kind of hereditary condition that develops on puberty...?" Spike turned to Fred watching as Angel read... "I know Angelus had to wear all kinds of special underwear to cover his..."
"What?..." Fred starred...Spike!...Angel glared...
Oh, right the damned bloody spell...Well...Thank God I'm able to remember and torture him over it...
"Who's Con..."
"Ole demon pal of Angelus...Mad killer and all-around great guy...Sorry to have brought him up again...Apol..." he choked a bit as Angel grabbed him...
"Hon...est...Sorry..." a thud as he was released...
"Just remember I can hurt you now, Will...And will do it...Gladly...On the slightest excuse...Ole pal..." Angel glared...
"We'll see..." William smiled beatifically...Eyeing the telegram...
"It's from Buffy, right?..." he looked at his fellow vampire...Who sighed...Yeah...Looking up to see Wesley entering the room...Trouble?...Wes looked at Fred...
"Message from Buffy..." Angel waved the page...Ah, trouble cubed...Wes hissed to Fred...
"Trouble?...Or am I being paged?...Tell me, cause if she's on her frantic way back to me, I can save a few bucks on my ticket and use it for a decent dinner out...Flowers, limo, the whole shebang..."
You know, mate...Everything you never did for her...
A frown...Which surprisingly dimmed quickly...Uh-oh...
"What is it, Angel?...Is she all right?..."
"Stop standing there like a lump of brooding lead and tell me!..." William grabbed at the message...
Oh...Phew...he sighed as he read...Thought something serious might have happened...Like she met someone or Dawn's started dating some moron...
"Deadly world-threatening danger...Please come...Meet me in Casablanca, Morocco..."
"P.S. I just heard and you're a bloody bastard for not telling me William is alive and corporeal!!!!...Send him alone, you stupid twit!..."
"Spike..." Wesley sighed... "She did not..."
Ummn...he read the words William gleefully pointed out to him...
"She was probably just...Shocked by the news..." he lamely tried...Angel frowning...
"All right...So I should've told her..." he glared...Damn...it...Giles...Couldn't you have kept your damned Brit mouth
repressed as usual for this?...It's cause he's another Brit, isn't it?...he thought...Damned bastards...Me sainted father was right...Kill 'em all and throw their filthy robbing carcasses...
"Angel?...What are you going to do?..." Wes stared at him..."I mean now that William is on his way out of the building and just called Harmony to fetch a closed cab to the airport...And contacted the airport to have our private W-H jet fueled and standing by..."
"Seal off the building till I can get down there...!"
***
"You can either sit in this plane till dark, then try to smuggle aboard a planefor somewhere near Morocco...With no credit cards, or functional ATM, and a closed bank account...Or...I can sign off on this "business" trip, give the OK and we go together..."
Hmmn...William eyed Angel...A free ride straight to Buffy...And with her aiting for me and ready to sock him one in the brooding puss if that blessed telegram be true...And not the Big Baddy's hoax I expect from long, painful ears of joy-deprivation...Just hope she's actually there at least...
"Well...Here we go, Angel...Back in the saddle again..." William beamed, trapping... "And now fighting for the pure, good, and true...As well as the chance to get into our favorite blonde's panties..."
And this being Bob Hope's 100th year...He grinned...
"Boys..." he eyes the flight crew...Whom he'd been prepping, ever since his failure to get them to take off immediately for his urgent, world-saving, top-priority mission made him well aware he'd have to accept company...
Will and crew:
"We're off on the road to Morocco
This lear jet is tough on the spine (hit me with a martini, girl)
Where we're goin', why we're goin', how can we be sure
I'll lay you eight to five that we'll meet Buffy in l'amour (yeah, we best get in line...Angel nods)
Off on the road to Morocco
Hang on till the end of the line..."(For you, broodo-boy...he grins to Angel)
(Noticing the attractive female pilot, moving up front...hmmn...I like our jockey. Quiet!...Will tells himself...That was Spike talking, of course...he frowns...Uh-huh...Angel rolls eyes...)
Angel: (What the hell...And I've seen the movie on day TV a zillion times...) "I hear this country's where they do the dance of the seven veils...
We'd tell you more (uh-ah...Will waves a hand) but we would have PC censors on our tails (good boy)"
Will and Angel and available crew:
"We certainly do get around
Like Webster's Dictionary we're Morocco (And some of us, Buffy-...Will chimes in) bound
We're off on the road to Morocco
Well look out, Evil clear the way, 'cause here we come
Stand by for a concussion (Not another, I've had three this month...Angel groans...Like I wasn't just extinguished in a fiery ball?...Will points out...)
The male demons eat fire, sleep on nails and saw their wives in half (sounds like the perfect solution, if our Buf's up for it...Will notes...)
It seems to me there should be easier ways to get a laugh
(shall I slip my big shoes on?...Take mine, little man...Angel grins...)
Off on the road to Morocco
Hooray! Well blow a horn, everybody duck (Not the plane, love...Will calls as the craft dives...Sorry, sirs...)
Yeah. it's a green light, come on boys
We may run into villains but we're not afraid to roam
Because we read the storyboard-Buffy brings us safely home (Nyah!)
Certainly do get around (Me, he means on that 'safely home' business...Will notes)
Like Webster's Dictionary we're Morocco bound
We certainly do get around
Like-a-complete-set-of-Shakespeare-that-you-get-
in-the-corner-drugstore-for-a-dollar-ninety-eight (They have been dead a long time, a stewardess notes)
We're Morocco bound (Say, we are being shot at, right?...Angel hissed to a singing crew member...Yes, sir, interceptor missiles, the pilot says...She's trying to dodge...)
Or-like-a-volume-of-Omar-Khayyam-that-you-buy-in-the-department-store-at-Christmas-time-for-your-cou--sin Julia (you bought that one for Buffy, didn't you?...Angel eyes Will and his Omar Khayyam...)
We're Morocco bound (Some of us know the soul of our blonde angel is more than just beautiful surface and incredible sex drive, broodo)" Whoa...As the plane shudders...
"We going down?..." "Fraid so...But we're over Casablanca...Best to let the living crew members have the chutes, I'd say..." "What?...And let that hair of yours get mussed?!...Angel, you truly are a hero...I'm proud to be your grandvampoffspring...Buf and I'll name our third son after you..." They jump, following the crew...
"You do know she may not even be down there!..."
"Yeah!..." a loud call as the wind blows them further apart... "But I'm now in hitchin' distance no matter what after we do in whatever the beasties are..."
"Really?...Thanks...!..."
"No problem...Buf'd treat me the way she's gonna treat you if I didn't lend a hand...But I'll put in a good word for you...Get you an invite for dinner with me and the future Missus and sis-in-law...!!"
The boys crash through the roof of a bar in suburban Casablanca...Willie looking up as they do...Goddamn...!
"Of all the roofs of all of the gin-joints in all the towns in all of the world...They had to crash into mine!..." Hmmn...On the other hand, Angel is head of W-H and...Loaded...
Where's my lawyer's number?...he hisses to a barmaid...
"William?!..." Buffy in nightclub singer's outfit, standing on the small bar stage stares at them...Jaw dropped...
Oh...Hello...Angel...she glares...As the boys stagger to their respective feet...
"Neat entrance, guys!..." Dawn calls, waving from her table covered with debris...
Got my telegram, eh?...She grins...
***
