NEW SLOGAN

This is a work of fan fiction, written by Rochelle Theresa Brown for entertainment purposes only, and not for profit. All characters not invented by me are the sole property of Procter and Gamble Productions.
This work is under copyright.

This AU story takes place in 1990.

NOTE: Any discrepancy between this story and what actually happens during the making of a commercial is for the sake of the plot.

SCENE ONE

(The scene is the kitchen at the Frame farm. Sharlene, John, and Josie are at the breakfast table, eating scrambled eggs and bacon.)

SHARLENE: It's good to have you home again while your apartment is being painted.

JOSIE: Well, I'd rather be at a hotel.

JOHN: Don't be silly. Why should you spend all that money, when we have plenty of room?

JOSIE: I'm a model, not a farm girl, remember?

(Sharlene sighs)

JOHN: I understand you're shooting that SOFT'N'PLUMP PILLOWS commercial this afternoon.

JOSIE: That's right. "SOFT'N'PLUMP PILLOWS--- so soft, so comfortable." There's just one thing I don't like about the commercial.

SHARLENE: What?

JOSIE: It doesn't matter, because I'm not going to do it.
(Scene fades out)

SCENE TWO
THAT AFTERNOON

(The scene is the studio where the SOFT'N'PLUMP PILLOWS commercial is being filmed. Sharlene is on the set, standing next to the director. We see a bed with a small table next to it. On the table are a lamp, a hairbrush, and a comb. Josie, wearing floral pajamas, is sitting on the bed.)

SHARLENE: I want to thank you for inviting me to this shooting, Mr Hamilton.

HAMILTON: You're quite welcome, Mrs. Hudson.

SHARLENE: I'm just sorry Josie is being such a problem.

HAMILTON: Don't worry about it. (Turns to Josie) Now, Miss Watts, let's try that again.

JOSIE: In my line of work, I really need my beauty sleep. And that means I need my SOFT'N'PLUMP PILLOW (Lies down, puts head on pillow)SOFT 'N'PLUMP PILLOWS--- so soft, so comfortable.

(Several seconds go by)

HAMILTON: Now, Miss Watts, that's not how this commercial ends.

JOSIE: (sitting up) As far as I'm concerned, it is. I absolutely will not snore. It would spoil my image.

HAMILTON: In that case, we'll have to find somebody else... but who? (Looks at Sharlene) How about you? Want to be in a commercial?

SHARLENE: (thoughtfully) Yes, I think I could do it.

JOSIE: You? You've got to be kidding!

SHARLENE: Well, why should they have to go to the trouble and expense of finding somebody else just because you are behaving like a prima donna?

HAMILTON: Exactly.

JOSIE: This is ridiculous! She can't do the commercial.

HAMILTON: I think she could, if she doesn't mind snoring.

SHARLENE: I don't mind snoring.

JOSIE: (sneeringly) Well, Mama, there are a lot of things you don't mind doing that I'd be ashamed to

SHARLENE: (breaking into Josie's speech) All right! That does it! (Sits on bed, turns Josie over her knee, reaches for hairbrush.)

JOSIE: What the Hell are you doing?

SHARLENE: What I should have done months ago. (Starts to spank Josie.)

JOSIE: Hey! Cut it out! OW! OW! Stop! OW! OH! OW! OW! OW! OH! OW! OW! OH! OUCH! OW! OUCH!
(Whacks and yells grow louder as scene fades out)

SCENE THREE
THE NEXT MORNING

(The scene is the kitchen of the Frame farm. John, Sharlene, and Josie are at the table, eating French toast. Josie is sitting on a pillow.)

JOHN: Sharlene, you make the best French toast in the world.

JOSIE: That's for sure. (Turns to Sharlene) Mama, I want to apologize again for the way I behaved.

SHARLENE: Well, I'm sure you've learned your lesson.

JOSIE: Boy, did I!

SHARLENE: And they've made a slight change to the SOFT"N'PLUMP PILLOWS slogan.

JOHN: Oh? What is it?

JOSIE: (grimacing) "SOFT'N'PLUMP PILLOWS---so soft, so comfortable--- wherever you need them most."

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