George W. Bush: "Astro Bruce Willis, Sony and Newscorp want us to bomb Australia. We need you to get right on it, for the sake of freedom!"
Bruce Willis: Sure thing Bossman. But, uh, won't the fallout from our Solar Laser Cannonade liquefy Denmark as well?
George W. Bush: "That's just a chance we'll have to take."
This will leave me safe in my tropical paradise, surrounded as usual by beauteous babes and drinks with pineapples sticking out of them.