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George W. Bush: "Astro Bruce Willis, Sony and Newscorp want us to bomb Australia. We need you to get right on it, for the sake of freedom!"

Bruce Willis: Sure thing Bossman. But, uh, won't the fallout from our Solar Laser Cannonade liquefy Denmark as well?

George W. Bush: "That's just a chance we'll have to take."

This will leave me safe in my tropical paradise, surrounded as usual by beauteous babes and drinks with pineapples sticking out of them.