I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself. I worry about things that should not be worried about at this time. I fear that I have driven Christian away since he has not been home since our fight. I patched up my differences with Matt, but Jeff still lies unsolved. I don’t know how to go about this. I want to come right out and tell him my feelings, but I am afraid that I will anger him again. Edge tells me that I should just talk to him. I am afraid of him though. What do I do? My mind is pulling me in too many different directions. Music used to help me clear my mind, as did going to my tree, but none of that is working as it has just led me to memories of Jeff and Christian. I hope Chris is okay. I really do. He can handle himself on his own. I wonder, why did he get involved with a mortal? He knows that he will have to watch her grow old and die. He will be heartbroken and lose all traces of being human. He will go insane. I know I will die without Jeff. I can already feel my body growing weaker, as I have cut myself twice trying to hunt. My body is constantly feverish and I find it harder and harder to draw blood from mortals. I do not know if Jeff is the same way, although I do not see him around the house anymore. I suppose he is suffering the same as I am. I now big brother Edge loves me and I know that he is doing good. Whatever gods there are out there, I thank you for my blessings. There is not a day that goes by when I do not thank you for Edge, Matt, Jeff and Christian. No matter how much we fight, I still love them all, even though they may not love me. They have kept me from going insane. I feel odd. I haven’t written in like this since I was 12. Oh well...I’ll probably do to you what my older sister Amarice did. I’ll probably burn this page and send my thoughts along with it.

Forever Faithful,

Dakota