"Are you just gonna stand out there all night? You'll never believe who's here!" She jerked away from him just in front of the kitchen, now realising whom the car belonged to. Christian looked at her in question, nodding over to the kitchen. "You don't want to see who it is?" Gabrielle turned away, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
"It's Matt…I already know."
"Then why are you waiting? He wants to see you." He grabbed her arm, trying to lead her to the kitchen, but she didn't move forward, instead pulling Christian back into the den.
"Christian, you met Melissa, right?" He nodded slowly.
"Matt just said they kind of parted ways and…" Christian trailed off, realising her thoughts. "And you never stuck around after she caught you two to see what happened."
"Exactly. Looks like she left him, no doubt because of me…and now he's here and you said he wanted to see me." Gabrielle broke off with a sigh. "First I kill his brother, then I break up his relationship."
"But he came to see Jeff too. He knew he was back." Christian told her quietly, looking to the door. "You can't stay in hiding. And…and I know you saw - "
"You're right." She interrupted, not wishing to discuss anything she had seen earlier. "I should go and see what he wants with me." She started out the doorway, hearing Christian behind her and turned. "And I didn't see anything Christian. So don't bring it up." He stood still for a second, watching her walk into the kitchen, disbelieving her stubbornness.
Gabrielle entered the kitchen, leaning back against the counter, watching Christian walk in after her, taking a place at the table with the three other men. Jeff looked in her direction, shooting her a wide, obnoxious grin and she stiffed as everyone's eyes fell upon her. Quickly forcing a smile, she let out a strained greeting while trying to think of what to do. The scene was too familiar, too much like her first months in the house with everyone happily seated around the table
. Most unnerving were Matt's eyes, staring at her with unreadable emotion; he'd closed his mind to her as well. The awkward seconds dragged past agonisingly before Edge rose, sensing Gabrielle's discomfort, and walked over to her for a quick embrace that she warmly welcomed."You alright?" He whispered, and she shrugged, then slowly shook her head. "Come sit down. We were wondering where you were." He smiled at her, leading her to the kitchen table. She sat down beside Edge, across from Matt, avoiding his gaze which remained fixed on her.
"I need to talk to you Gabrielle." Matt started, his tone exceedingly firm but unreadable. "Preferably alone." Gabrielle looked down as Edge leaned over, telling her he'd be upstairs as he left. Jeff rose as well, waiting in the kitchen doorway for Christian. He watched Gabrielle with worried eyes, but knew better than to stay. She looked up as Christian left, and caught Jeff grabbing his arm, glancing back at her as he whispered something to Christian. With a horridly smug smile he walked away, leaving Gabrielle and Matt alone, still in silence.
<I felt like doing first person present. So, I did it. >
There he is, and here I am. We're side by side on the seat by the window, and his hand is on my knee. I'm just staring at it and fidgeting. I don't know what to do besides repress the overwhelming urge to crawl into his lap like I did when I was young. But as I stare at his hand, I remember some of the not so innocent things it had done, and I'm sure he must be thinking that too because he pulls his hand away and starts playing with the sleeves of his shirt. Its kind of refreshing to know that he's nervous too. Matt, who knows all, who never gets phased by anything, is nervous because of me. Refreshing, and scary, that I could hold power like that. We’ve been sitting here quietly for way too long. I can start to remember other nights like thus, before he left, when we'd just sit together and not talk because we didn't really need to. Out of pure confusion, I latched on to him like a child to a teddy bear; a constant source of comfort. Maybe if I say something about that, about how comfortable we were, he'd say why he was back. It's worth a shot.
"I'm trying very hard not to grab hold of you and not let go." It was the first thing on my mind. A smile starts at the corners of his mouth, and he makes a little relieved noise, actually looking at me.
"Why don't you?" I smile, jabbing him in the ribs.
"You finally talked. I was thinking you'd lost the will to speak." I'm still nervous, I'm barely even thinking while its obvious that his thoughts are coming out carefully, very well thought out. Or maybe they just start that way.
"You didn’t answer my question." He points out, almost smirking. I shake my head because I don't have an answer. There's nothing more I want but to just curl up in his arms like I used to and forget about everything that makes me think too hard. But I don't even know if that facet of our relationship still exists.
"Because I don't know if I can." I see his eyes go kind of soft, like he's seeing everything like Vaseline around a camera lens. I guess maybe he needs someone to hold because in a second, his arms are around me, and I found I've curled up beside him. It feels almost wrong. I know I tore his love away from him, killed his brother, probably made him suffer more than anyone else. But as wrong as it feels, its sort of a natural thing. There aren't any sexual feelings this time, I know that. I just feel sage. Not happy at all, but not as confused or sad, because that stuff stops bugging me for a second. I almost feel like the little kid I was inside when he used to do this. Perhaps, that’s all I need. To get back to the old me. But I stop thinking about that now, because I just stop thinking and enjoy being safe, even if it's just temporary.