GOOD OL' COLUMBINE HIGH

By Dea Evenbeck

April 20, 1999. Shots & explosions fill this Colorado High School building. Fourteen students & one teacher mortally wounded. Hatred set free.

Why did these boys do it? Was it the music they listened to? Were there messages in the lyrics, telling them to slaughter as many people as possible?? Was it the clothes they wore? Were the black clothes & trenchcoats a trade mark for evil? Were the boys just plain psychotic & demonic? What or who is to blame??? THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD is to blame.

I WAS one of these kids, and I'm sure a lot of you were too. I spent my entire school age years being teased, ridiculed and made fun of. The way I looked, the way I dressed, the music I listened to. You know the feeling. Walking down the hall & hearing comments and cackles slung right at you. Your heart falls to the ground. You look at the floor because you're too ashamed to hold your head high. The feeling of no self worth. The agonizing never ending depression. It all builds up inside of you and turns into hate and rage and anger, towards the whole world. I had joyous thoughts of murder. Thoughts of setting the school on fire. But I never acted them out. I just kept them all inside.

I was watching the news lastnight and they were interviewing some Columbine High students. They told of how the jocks taunted these boys. Throwing them up against lockers and calling them "fags". They later interviewed these same jocks, and they just sat there with their smug little smiles, and talked about how these 2 kids were just jealous!! They think that they did no wrong!

It seems that making fun of people is the cool thing to do. Like, "Oh, if I make fun of these people, my friends will think I'm cool." And yeah, a lot of people do think it's funny. They don't understand that hatred breeds hatred. They don't understand that a person can only take so much verbal abuse until they just snap. They don't understand that they can destroy lives.

I'm 22 years old and I've been out of school for 4 years now. I'm proud of the fact that I didn't conform in high school. I stood my ground and bowed to no trend. But, to this day, I have zero self esteem, zero self confidence & zero self worth, day after day after day. I hide myself from the world, because I was taught by others that I am a nobody.

I feel bad for all of the innocent victims of the Columbine High shootings. I also feel bad for Eric Harris and Dylan Klebald. They learned this hatred from the rest of the world. It's kind of like they got revenge for all the people who have ever been teased and taunted. Maybe this will make the rest of the world realize that their actions do affect people's lives. Maybe it will make them think before they open their mouths to hurt other people. The whole world should be on trial.

I'd like to take this space to thank the following people in my life who have supported me and helped to boost my self esteem. You all have helped me more than you'll ever know....Michelle Dorsey, David Lamalie, Matt Watson, Chris Forbes, Jenn Matthews, Jill Girardi and Jim Mroz. You all rule!!


COLORADO
By David Lamalie

Who am I?
I'm the one you make cry.
The outcast.
I just want to die.
I don't fit in.
I don't belong.
The rage in my heart
has now come along.
I plan your death and others too.
You'll be sorry,
You stupid fools.
I cannot laugh about it.
I just want to scream.
Stop picking on people like me.
It's not going to be easy
but it'll be fun
You're all going to
answer to my gun.


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