It's all true

True (well possibly!)

THORNWOOD, NY - An argument between two pizza chefs about the best way to make a pie ended when one stabbed the other in the chest, police said. Fausto Pazmino, 44, was charged with assault and weapon possession. He and Gaetano Vitole, 34, were working Saturday night at Silvio's Ristorante in Thornwood, north of New York City, when they started arguing about how to make pizza, police said. The argument went on for several hours until Pazmino lunged at Vitole with a knife, police said.

Thanks to a friend in Portsmouth, England, when Jesus returns for the second coming, He'll have enough money for a sports car and a condo in Palm Springs. Mr. Ernest Digweed died sixteen years ago and left his entire estate to Jesus Christ. He instructed the State Trustee Office to invest his money in government bonds, guaranteeing Jesus a total yield of $615,820 by the end of the century. Digweed's heirs are contesting the will, and have offered an unusual solution: an insurance policy in the same amount payable to Jesus upon his return. Since then, another problem has cropped up. Two individuals, each insisting that he is Jesus reborn, have filed claims for the money...

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore --where a tree blew over and killed him

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge --killing him.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.

A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribolla sat in his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his hand threatening to kill himself in 1981. His wife pleaded for him not to do it, and after about an hour he burst into tears and threw the gun to the floor. It went off and killed his wife.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright; killed by a heart attack.

Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

Warning! At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/bank card readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say,

"Strip down, face toward me.

A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.

An actual tip from page 16 of the hp Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

[Unknown, 25 March 1993] A Vapid Death A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man was shut up in is near airtight bedroom. He was "...a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this deadly gas]." Three of the rescue workers got sick and one was hospitalized.

Living at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico is a species of worm that can live for 250 years. Because they have no natural enemies, they can live a full and productive life. the worms live solely off chemicals that seep from volcanic vents, can grow to a length of 10 feet and are now recognized as being the longest-living invertebrates on the earth.

[UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy,9, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Chicago.in the upcoming Democratic primary in Cook County council R. Benedict Mayers. has published a list of some of his aims.

·a total ban on mixed-race marriages

·prohibition on the abortion of “healthy white babies”

·a tax on all immigrants not of Anglo-Saxon origin

·a congressional investigation into “international Jewry”

·a change to the 19th amendment to allow only white women to vote,and

·a boundary change to cut-out the predominantly-black West and South parts of

Chicago

David Posman,3, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I., after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed0 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

Former Khmer Rouge guerrilla consulted a local witch doctor to help his two sick children. Not surprisingly, the Doc was unable to do anything and the children died. To add insult to injury, the guerrilla's sister then got ill. Unfortunately, the legal system in Phnom Penh isn't quite as litigious as the US, so suing for millions wasn't even an option. Therefore the man opted for simple murder and cannibalism, for after killing the witch doctor, he ate his liver!

A senior military official, General Bun Seng, said that ‘He killed the magic doctor and cut out and cooked his liver because he was very angry.’ Seng went on to say that ‘The soldier had been on a human rights course but he still didn't understand the concept.’

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.

LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital. While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital.

 

Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief fled out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped down and found himself in the city prison.

MOSCOW, Russia-A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if it would protect him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.

A Thailand woman was a victim of Y2K, but not because of a computer fault. Kieuthong Attaparb, a food vendor, was so worried about the possibility of a Y2K collapse that she took all he savings out of the bank to protect her cash in the event of a banking crash. She kept the money safe in her house. Unfortunately, over the weekend, a fire ripped through her home destroying all her property and her life savings.

San Francisco Chronicle. Claiming to be a 2000-year-old vampire, Rudiger has been found guilty of second-degree murder for the killing of a homeless woman. Rudiger told the court that he needed to drink human blood on a regular basis in order to survive. He said that ‘Prey is prey’ and pleaded guilty to four other knife attacks on homeless people, mainly in the Chinatown area.

Not surprisingly, Rudiger has a history of mental illness. In the past, he has not only claimed to be a vampire but a samurai soldier and a ninja warrior, both of which are unlikely to be true. He spent a 6-month spell in a mental hospital in 1997 following a bow-and-arrow attack on one of his friends.

In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.